Bear Market Open Thread

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Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:19 | 1579666 steelhead23
steelhead23's picture

Have you read Kipling's If...  Look, stop gloating.  A good poker player wins the hand quietly and only shows his cards if he must.  Let the fools play, we need counterparties.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 07:30 | 1580626 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

3 out of 5

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 17:32 | 1579141 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

please use this opportunity to share your transitory outlooks on current events, life, google trending topics, and pretty much anything else...

---

- Current events suck

- Life sucks (unless you're a banker with coke & Ukranian hookers lined up for the weekend in the Hamptons - in which case - it's just OK)

- google sucks

- trending topics suck (especially those with regards to Martha's Vineyard)

---

Otherwise... everything else is pretty much fine...

BITCHEZ

 

 

 

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 17:49 | 1579206 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

No girlfriend or wife that sucks he?.... that sucks...

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 23:07 | 1580073 Mec-sick-o
Mec-sick-o's picture

suckers!

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 07:33 | 1580631 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

When you want it done right, you hire a pro.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 11:15 | 1580989 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Do like I do.

Post ZH links on your Facebook page.

Why do you think Denver is #2 city for ZH?

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:39 | 1578862 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

friday might music bomb, group DJs and chat:

http://turntable.fm/zero_hedge

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 17:37 | 1579161 CPL
CPL's picture

US only bitchez...live stream that shit and allow anonymous

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:14 | 1579655 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

You can not come back and be normal. I possess new guns and mucho ammo on the off chance you were serious a few weeks ago (thanks, actually having fun whether zombies are headed this way or not).

What's up spanky?

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:51 | 1579731 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Here is a tune for you Bitches.....CRANK IT UP!!!  DUBSTEP BITCH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeNSzJ2-Jw&ob=av2e

Sun, 08/28/2011 - 00:23 | 1608897 PeterB
PeterB's picture

Shards! Crazies f'ken

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 18:48 | 1579376 Skid Marks
Skid Marks's picture

 

Atonement Dinner

 

"Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband.

 

"In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered.

Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad example it sets for the rest of the world", Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be.

 

Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting. Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey . Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce, and mincemeat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey.

 

And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020, to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

 

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting.

The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold.

 

Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

 

Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family.

 

Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment.

 

He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort.

 

"The RHC's resources are limited", explained the government  bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."

 

Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government officials.

 

The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

 

Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in.

 

Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion.

 

No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids.

 

Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists."

 

Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2017. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine.

Almost.

 

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact.

 

"A living Constitution is extremely flexible", said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. " Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example", she added.

 

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children.

He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him.

Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner.

 

Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford.

 

She whined for a week, but got over it.

 

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism, or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner", but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility.

 

It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being.

 

Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13.

 

The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth."

 

This time, they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

 

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement.

 

At least, he had his memories.

 

He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential.

 

Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.

 

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2011, when all the real nonsense began.

 

"Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought.

 

Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so. . . .

 

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 19:46 | 1579561 LstrzMnyn
LstrzMnyn's picture

Awesome.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:08 | 1579636 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Awesome indeed!  And, uhm, the story wasn't bad either

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 21:53 | 1579873 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

True, but she just agreed to marry Jesse James.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:46 | 1579718 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Great story but "This time, they promised...unemployment below 58%...Winston was not particularly hopeful." 

Fixed.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 20:54 | 1579736 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Skid Marks - Great! Hilarious, insightful, nutritious nuggets. I'm Giving Thanks to you!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 23:00 | 1580051 SMG
SMG's picture

That was really good. Thanks!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 23:11 | 1580089 Mec-sick-o
Mec-sick-o's picture

Big Bro is watching you.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 03:54 | 1580466 Clown Short
Clown Short's picture

Bravo!  Now where's my upticks?

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:26 | 1580855 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"for everyone but government officials"  :]

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 03:35 | 1580453 chalcedonite
chalcedonite's picture

I donated just now and came here to post http://www.ronpaul2012.com/   You beat me to it - Thanks!

I also posted a "Proud Supporter of Ron Paul" on my site:

http://www.mcguffeysonlinetutor.com/public/main.cfm

R3volution through education!

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:21 | 1580843 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Its gonna be a huge one!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:39 | 1578860 camoes
camoes's picture

RHODIUM BITCHEZ? SAY WHAT????

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:40 | 1578870 hognutz
hognutz's picture

BEER BITCHEZ!!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:44 | 1578906 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

PROJECT MAYHEM BITCHEZ!!!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:53 | 1578942 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

OPEN THREADS BITCHEZ!!!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:57 | 1578967 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

DEATH CROSSED HINDENBURG OMEN BITCHEZ!!!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 17:39 | 1579167 chunga
chunga's picture

Sniff my shorts bitchez!

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 00:15 | 1580249 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Buy some puts on SLM, bitchez!

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 18:26 | 1579320 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

+ like - John Prine is awesome

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 18:35 | 1579345 chunga
chunga's picture

Iris ain't bad either! The voice of an Angel. Open threads are fun. Drinking beer sifting through my latest sack of "junk". For some reason I set 1929 coins aside...lol.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 00:19 | 1580258 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Ben Harper and Emily Kokal sing that song better than I have ever heard it.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 08:44 | 1580713 chunga
chunga's picture

Brother can you spare a link?

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:27 | 1580858 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

good stuff

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 01:38 | 1580358 Debt is Slavery
Debt is Slavery's picture

Tactical Pitchforks Bitchez!!!   http://i.imgur.com/vhSC9.jpg

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 07:38 | 1580636 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Now that's funny.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:29 | 1580859 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

then anti-party logo

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 07:08 | 1580604 Rothbardian in ...
Rothbardian in Cleveland's picture

LEAD Bitchez!!!

You all are simply just hangin' on to my gold 'til I need it.

Sat, 08/20/2011 - 07:42 | 1580640 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Go ahead, make my day.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:38 | 1578848 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

Just had my 2 ounces of gold delivered today. Brother just bought 300 ounces more silver today...just another day in paradise.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:45 | 1578913 Montecarlo
Montecarlo's picture

Good for you guys.  My Brother and I have been working to add wharehouse space to fill up when we're trading metals for stuff people will be dumping soon.  A Barn in Indiana and Hanger in Texas...  diversify!

 

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 23:46 | 1580195 russki standart
russki standart's picture

Gold Stocks, Bitchez

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:31 | 1578799 drink or die
drink or die's picture

I sold all my silver and bought HPQ last week on Robotraders advice.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 16:37 | 1578842 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

Boy, that's a real bummer...

 

 

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 17:16 | 1579064 andybev01
andybev01's picture

Explains your avatar.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 18:46 | 1579373 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

+lol

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!