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Behold The Greek Debt Slavery "To Do" Checklist Permitting It To Bail Out Europe's Insolvent Banks

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday, in our daily list of shocking discoveries of just how far forward Greece is willing to bend over, we realized that not only will Greece not receive a penny (or is that a drachma?) from Europe, but it itself will have to fund the European bank bailout via a Greek-funded Escrow account. In today's 'insult to rape' chronicles, we discover that before Greece is even given permission to bail out Europe's banks, its creditors first demand that the province of Bavaria Sachs, formerly known as Greece, satisfy a checklist of 38 specific conditions, which the now fully colonized nation will have to complete before the end of the month (so in about 5 days), before it is permitted to transfer taxpayer cash to French, German, Italian and Spanish banks. How anyone, even the world's most degraded debt slave, is willing to subject themselves to such humiliation is simply inconceivable.

The FT has the subhuman degradation details:

The reforms, spelt out in three separate memoranda of a combined 90 pages, are the price that Greece has agreed to pay to obtain a €130bn second bail-out and avoid a sovereign default that the government feared would throw Greek society into turmoil.

 

They range from the sweeping – overhauling judicial procedures, centralising health insurance, completing an accurate land registry – to the mundane – buying a new computer system for tax collectors, changing the way drugs are prescribed and setting minimum crude oil stocks.

 

The 38 measures are a mix of laws that must be passed by parliament, ministerial decisions and presidential decrees that affect a complete cross-section of Greek economic activity, from health spending to municipal administration to tax collection.

 

Only a handful of the measures are listed as passed or in the process of being implemented, including a highly publicised €300m in pension reductions and €325m in other spending cuts. The other reforms are grouped under six categories, though most of the changes fall under spending cuts, bank regulations, and economic reforms.

 

Among the measures that must be completed in the next seven days are reducing state spending on pharmaceuticals by €1.1bn; completing 75 full-scale audits and 225 value added tax audits of large taxpayers; and liberalising professions such as beauty salons, tour guides and diet centres.

 

Even the longer-term reforms must be completed quickly. A draft 49-page “memorandum of understanding on specific economic policy conditionality”, dated February 9, includes dozens of measures that must be completed in the first half of the year.

And so forth.

Sarcasm aside, that this is merely a strawman loophole for Germany to say on March 1 that Greece has not completed the measure is beyond glaringly obvious. Which explains why the idiot algos who have taken this development as good news have sent the EURUSD to nearly 3 month highs.

It also goes without saying that one should wait for Tom Stolper to go long the EURUSD before shorting the pair with infinite LTRO funded (in exchange for compressed methane as collateral) leverage.

 

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Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:00 | 2190547 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Why in the hell doesn't Greece just tell them to go fuck themselves?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:38 | 2190698 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Simple.  The guy thats running Greece and leading the negotiations on behalf of Greece? -- He's an ex-banker that the bankers themselves put in place a few months back.

Any guesses where his loyalties lie?

Now the real question that I'd like to hear an answer to is why the hell isn't Papademos hanging from an olive tree somewhere in Athens? ... frankly I'm not sure there is any other way for them to save their country.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:39 | 2190721 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Yeah I know who he is. But he is only one person. Why in the hell are they letting him dictate the future of their country.The Greeks should be kicking these fucks out. I went from thinking the Greeks deserve what they get for being lazy,to feeling sorry for them, back to thinking they deserve what they get for taking this shit.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:42 | 2190731 bdc63
bdc63's picture

How do you say "viva la revolucion" in Greek?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:21 | 2191074 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They will be ground to dust, in order that an example be made of them. Just look at all the commenters here who "don't feel sorry for them, as they failed to stop their own demise."

See, it's all about dehumanization of "the enemy." The instant we put them beneath us, is the instant we lose our own humanity.

Worse yet? In this case, anybody who takes the tone of "they deserve it" has fallen victim to the divide and conquer trap, and is instantly transformed into a supporter of the banksters! Likely without even realizing it.

Which is funny, as I never knew there were so many bankster supporters here at ZH.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:31 | 2191538 LongBallsShortBrains
LongBallsShortBrains's picture

I don't think we are putting them beneath us as much as we are saying that when it happens to us it will be our fault and we will deserve it. Iceland deserves what they get. No? The USA?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 01:02 | 2191851 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I have no vested interest in feeling sorry for any fucking body.  We are all people of means, here on this site; that means we have advantages available to us that nearly make all of us among the 1% of most prosperous humanity on earth.  With so much going for you, your life is exclusively yours, and if it goes to shit, that's on you, and no one else.

No sympathy for those who capitulate.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:54 | 2191843 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

How do you say, "Greeks are dumb, fat sheeple" in Greek?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:48 | 2193010 nicxios
nicxios's picture

Malakas. It's a catch-all. And yes, we are malakes if we let this happen. And it's looking like we will.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:14 | 2191049 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why in the hell are YOU letting your "leader" do the very same thing to you? Because you cannot stop them, that's why.

Other than the confusion exhibited differentiating real individuals from abstract collectives. I don't understand how some people think that others are failing to turn criminals into honest people, or better yet,  to displace them with honest people within a wholly corrupt system.

FFS, the last person who even tried to govern honestly in the US was assassinated in broad daylight with TOTAL impunity while his security detail had been forced to stand down. Meanwhile, those responsible are still in power today. Yet you think it's possible to rectify this with politics? Or are you claiming they need to have an open revolution, which would undermine EVERYTHING not already destroyed, ushering in a completely fascistic regime?

 

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 01:05 | 2191858 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

"Why in the hell are YOU letting your "leader" do the very same thing to you? Because you cannot stop them, that's why."

Wrong.  I have unshackled myself of your fucked up leaders, and I have left the USuckAss to those who enjoy SuckingAss.  Paradigm shift, bitchez.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:06 | 2190806 Rogier
Rogier's picture

Because leaving the Eurozone and returning to the Drachma immediately doubles the national debt as a percentage of BBP, but more importantly: Greece is a nett-importer and paying for oil, medicine and other essentials is gonna be a big problem. Olives, tourism and shipping doesn't add up to the best of business models a country can have...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:34 | 2190909 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

You've got to be kidding Rogier.  Once they default they will be in a better position for the future.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:04 | 2191020 Rogier
Rogier's picture

Not without a sponsor. If you write the debt off 100%, they're still net-importers, so where will the foreign currency come from to import oil, medicine and other stuff?

Banks 'sponsored' Greece these last few years, before that the US threw money at them because of their strategic position in NATO. So who's gonna sponsor them in the future?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:15 | 2191052 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

with the drachma and no debt - all written off -  a lot of countries will extend them credit - start with russia and china

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:35 | 2191110 Rogier
Rogier's picture

Sounds like a plan. That is, if you're willing to accept serious Drachma devaluation every couple of years...

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 02:53 | 2191945 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Rogier - look up the word default - it means they are NOT GOING TO PAY, ANYTHING - once they return to the Drachma and repudiate their debts, they start with a clean (accounting) sheet.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:51 | 2191313 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

Did you ever see the movie Deliverance?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:27 | 2191519 jomama
jomama's picture

who's speaking for the greek people?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 01:10 | 2191861 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

No one on their behalf, and not even they for themselves.  2/3 of Greeks have never used the internet?  Dumb, fat sheeple get sheered everytime.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:00 | 2190550 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I'm pretty sure that there is also a provision that mandates all Greeks to hand over their daughters virginity to any European or American banker that demands it. Failure to hand over the virginal daughter shall be considered a "breech of contract".

This is so humiliating that it's almost too painful to watch any longer.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:15 | 2190612 trav7777
trav7777's picture

well if those girls will get their brows waxed and shave and stuff, there's definitely a market.

Girls all over the world are more than willing to GTFO of their country for a guy who can earn a living and doesn't drink and beat them.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2190947 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

Man oh man, are you correct on that one Trav.  I have many friends that are married to either Thai, Filipina, or other asian women, who are happy as pigs in s__t as are their wives.  To those american guys who haven't traveled much, american men are thought to be among the best prospects as husbands in the world and not only for economic reasons.  They know that, as a rule, american men don't cheat, don't beat and don't abuse their wives.  A Filipina beauty knows that an older and more mature american guy has already sown his wild oats and is proud to come home to a warm beauty will not stray. Just remember guys, if you like their cars, you will love their women.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:50 | 2191603 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

You are totally delusional if you think it isn't for economic reasons.  Nobody, especially not a pretty young thing, wants to fuck a fat old hairy white guy. If there wasn't a green card or a higher standard of living involved no one would be interested.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:50 | 2191839 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

I'm junking this one on principal.

That crispy squid eatin bitch just knows it a payday.

Who's lap you jump into? PAYDAY?

Who's austerity you jump into? PAYDAY?

Who's comfort you jump into? Uh what? Uh Babe, I'm holding out for the the great tribulation!

That Fillipono bitch will scream, "WHERE MY WALLET?"

The second you think you're going to exchange a few days buying mountain house foods, and ponying up for some faux dollars for a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond. That bitch will REALLY show you how it was under POL POT. Fuckers.

 

It's OK to candy coat it, just don't leave out the "WHERE MY WALLET" part.

 

Teh finances are even beyond the Bernank at that point yo!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:01 | 2190552 AC_Doctor
AC_Doctor's picture

To the ball-less Greeks:  Run the banksters and dickless politicians out of your country and take back your homeland from the leeches.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:18 | 2190860 Hugo Chavez
Hugo Chavez's picture

Are the greeks still in the awkward phase?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:18 | 2191060 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

It's easy to shake your fist and try to rev up the Greek people, but it will be interesting to see if Americans can take their own advice as our liberties continue to be stripped.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 01:19 | 2191869 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

They aren't, and they won't.  Technically, those are just words representing my observation and prediction; realities will vary according to vantage, of course.  But I will continue to have equally zero sympathy.  Capitulation means you deserve what you get.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:02 | 2190562 Jo
Jo's picture

Gouvernement Sachs bitchez.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:06 | 2190574 kanenas
kanenas's picture

Yes, we get it. It is the Greeks that selected to default, right after their bonds were converted to British law ones.

They were supposed to sell assets close to 25%GPD at the worst timing, and bend constituion and laws to allow for special conditions for Direct Foreign Investments (ie foreginers building hotels where they want them and where no Greek was allowed to build before).

 

PS: Sometimes marriages don't work out. Instead of throwing deadlines and insults at each other, both parties are better off just calling quits.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:11 | 2190591 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

The Greeks should have known that a technocrat wasn't going to make it easy.

THE TRUTH HURTS

Greece is the lamprey eel of the EU and if Greece doesn't have the balls to stand up for it's people when they are getting hosed, then fuck um.

They should default.

The "smart" Greeks took their money and split already.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:15 | 2190617 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

The reforms, spelt out in three separate memoranda of a combined 90 pages, are the price that Greece has agreed to pay to obtain a €130bn second bail-out and avoid a sovereign default that the government feared would throw Greek society into turmoil.

(?????)

I'm no vocabulary expert, but wouldn't plain old "turmoil" be an improvement for Greece?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:18 | 2190632 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm thinking of a stronger word. Revolution maybe?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:29 | 2190684 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

Yeah, but there's too many positive connections with that word.

Maybe Brando should have uttered "The turmoil....the turmoil...."

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 01:22 | 2191875 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

'The Horrowshow', coming to a debt-saturated, net-importer near you.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:03 | 2191335 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

Doesn't it take guns to have a revolution?  Rope?  Chains?  Fishnets?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:22 | 2190647 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Grecian Formula 38

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:24 | 2190662 flyonmywall
flyonmywall's picture

They have to sign the agreement so they can find out what's in it.

Where have we heard that one before?....

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:24 | 2190669 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

sounds like a trial modification that the homeowner has no chance of fulfilling

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:26 | 2190676 zebra
zebra's picture

positive thinking is always good.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:32 | 2190694 parch702
parch702's picture

Damm, lol, you can move the markets.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:42 | 2190733 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this keeps making this easier for the greeks to just say No N0 NO

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:44 | 2190737 TicoTiger
TicoTiger's picture

Long live Iceland!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:54 | 2190761 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Damn we are playing the complete destruction of the Fiat Ponzi cool.  Slewz, take a rip for me, will ya?!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:08 | 2190816 Hugo Chavez
Hugo Chavez's picture

He he.

I am ready for some cheap, hot, young greek pussy.

Greece is the new Thailand.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:10 | 2190821 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

After watching all the videos Leo put up, I am too.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:15 | 2190846 Hugo Chavez
Hugo Chavez's picture

Eastern european sex tours?
Seriously I bet there might be some money in that.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:56 | 2191459 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Will have keep an eye out for the Greek MILF vids.  haha

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:51 | 2191605 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

link please

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:31 | 2190877 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

Screw saving the banks.  Let them all burn.  Let us have a hard reset and have G$ crumble.   Let there be trillions of drachmas!

 

 

NIN-Burn.   It should be the anthem of all the debt slaves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsM4FM3MiK0

 

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:27 | 2191088 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Possibly my favorite NIN song.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:25 | 2190881 bobola
bobola's picture

Is stockpiling tear gas for the upcoming trade union protests / riots one of the 38 conditions..??

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:21 | 2191070 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

I was sitting at a traffic light yesterday, minding my own business, waiting for it to turn green. A carload of Goldie Sack banksters and Greek technocrats stopped next to me in a super-stretch limo, drinking champagne and counting their money. The light changed, the driver hit the accelerator and darted off ahead of me. Suddenly an 18-wheeler came speeding through the red light and ran directly over their limo, crushing it completely. For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "That could have been me!" So today, bright and early, I went out and got myself a job as a truck driver.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:27 | 2191091 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL

I'm stealing that one.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:32 | 2191106 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

It's already been stolen. I re-hypotho'd the joke from another joksters account and tweaked it to fit the current situation. But don't let that stop you from sending royalty payments.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:51 | 2191447 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Excellent!  I'm just going to borrow this for a few minutes, I'll bring it right back.  Thanx!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:09 | 2191650 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

If you hold on to it more than 30 seconds, you're playing with it.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:12 | 2191484 blindman
blindman's picture

9 Day Race to Ecstasy; Only Way Greece Can Win Is To Lose
http://jhaines6.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/9-day-race-to-ecstasy-only-way-...
.
"
Deal In No One’s Best Interest

The last line in the snip above is “The deal is in the best interest of the Troika – not Greece.” Actually, that’s not quite right. Although that statement was true at one point, it no longer is.

Things have deteriorated so badly, the deal is in no one’s best interest.

Germany clearly understands that simple fact and has put up roadblock after roadblock hoping to find the right set of conditions that Greece would not accept or fail to meed if they did accept them.

At this point, no statements by Greek politicians or the Troika are credible. Rather, I suggest statements are made by everyone to prevent further capital flight. If Greece was working on a plan to return to the Drachma they could not say so.
"
...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:16 | 2191488 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Bankers have perfected the technique of killing someone right in front of a battalion of cops and getting off scott free....

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:23 | 2191506 blindman
blindman's picture

Why Greece Must Exit the Eurozone, How it Will Happen (and Why Portugal and Spain Will Follow); Does the Euro Act Like a Gold Standard?
http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2012/02/why-greece-must-exit-...
..
"In spite of recent praise of Portugal by German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schäuble, it would be foolish for anyone to trust what he or chancellor Merkel says. Like Greece, the situation in Portugal and Spain is hopeless, just not far enough progressed yet.

Fate was sealed on February 7, with Merkel's Official Denial "I will have no part in forcing Greece out of the euro"; Schäuble Starts Salami Tactics on German Participation, Calls for Vote.

Note carefully how the "I"s are being dotted and the "T"s crossed: Germany Draws Up Plans for Greece to Leave Euro; Athens Rehearses the Nightmare of Default; Merkel's Denial Rings Hollow

Look for Greek CDS to Trigger in March possibly with preceding bank holiday ahead of the March 20 bond due date.

The weekend of March 11-12 or 18-19 look like ideal candidates for a bank holiday and Greece exit of the Eurozone.

If you have money in Greek banks, get it out now!"

Mike "Mish" Shedlock

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!