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Beige iPad Makes NEW QE Less Likely

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Here come the headlines from the beige anachronism:

  • FED SAYS ECONOMY EXPANDED AT MODEST TO MODERATE PACE IN MARCH
  • FED SAYS MANUFACTURERS CONCERNED ABOUT RISING PETROLEUM PRICES
  • FED: HIRING WAS STEADY OR SHOWED MODEST GAINS IN MOST DISTRICTS
  • FED SAYS `UPWARD PRESSURE ON WAGES WAS CONSTRAINED'
  • SOME FED DISTRICTS SAY RISING GAS PRICES MAY INHIBIT CONSUMERS

Where is the beige app? or beige pdf straight to kindle? What is this - book thing? Anyway no QE on the horizon based on this.

Link to the beige pdf which nobody ever reads anyway.

 

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Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:04 | 2335145 Cdad
Cdad's picture

But...but...Janet Yellen later tonight...and...it's Wednesday....and...there is no reason to give back today's "rally"...and......

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:54 | 2335427 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

Here is a great chart from Doug Short - http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/commentaries/Fed-Intervention-Upda...

It would seem that Ben has run out of ammo.

What's a printer to do?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:04 | 2335149 non_anon
non_anon's picture

sell a kidney or two

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:16 | 2335210 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

Are you kidding?! Wait for hyperinflation you can get a lot more fiat for kidneys then. /sarcasm.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:17 | 2335216 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Wasn't there a kid in China recently that sold his kidney for an iPhone

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:35 | 2335332 non_anon
non_anon's picture

yep, thus my post, though I believe it was for the iPad

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:43 | 2335378 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

I paid an arm and a leg for a gallon of gas.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:05 | 2335153 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

FED SAYS PRICE OF PEPPER SPRAY CONSTRAINED

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:12 | 2335164 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Was stevie this cheerful under the last administration?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:07 | 2335165 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

When is noted food critic William Dudley going to review the beige iPad?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:45 | 2335385 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Right after the Brown Note?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 18:20 | 2336154 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Holy shit! I thought that was just a South Park episode.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:09 | 2335180 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Somewhere in China right now a slave-shop worker is hoping we implode so he can take a vacation.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:45 | 2335387 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Yeah, a permanat one.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:10 | 2335181 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

"SOME FED DISTRICTS SAY RISING GAS PRICES MAY INHIBIT CONSUMERS"

 

DUH...

I figured this out months ago. Where is my check??

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:32 | 2335298 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Lately, it's hard to get gas without people at nearby pumps starting up a conversation about the rising price. I see it as a therapeutic action where we commiserate over our shared victimhood.

The interesting thing I always take away from the encounter is noting the disgust of being powerless to stop the blatant theft, as most have no understanding of how it is even occurring.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:34 | 2335598 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Try driving to the same place in a Volt and just passing the pumps by - you get an interesting set of mixed reactions, because you are NOT powerless to stop the theft if you have something like that.  But not everyone can afford one for future benefit, and there's a fair amount of sour grapes - look at all the Volt-hate displayed here on occasion.  But strangely none for the Jap cars that get the same *Bush* tax break, or the Fords who took years longer to get to market even though they got the same R&D money - or the Chryslers who never did get there, or the Tesla or.....Only hate for the main one designed and built in america by americans.  Sadly, yeah, some with american fiat printing.  But at least it's the home team.

Lucky where I live most people are nice - nicer than here - and just ask questions about the cool car, and what the other alternatives might be.  I charge mine on solar power I make here, but even with power co power, it's about $1.20/charge for 44 miles - work it out, it's a good deal at the moment.

BTW, don't drive one if you can't afford it - they are way fun.

 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 16:44 | 2335885 AGuy
AGuy's picture

Thats all fine for brand new cars. Wait a few years until the problems start happening, and pray that replacement parts are available. It will be interesting to see how long the batteries last before they get replaced. FYI: A survey report came out this week that stated only 1/3 of existing hybrid owners would consider bying another one. They are most expensive and are completely depending on a small number of vendors that manufacture replacement parts.

 

The easy way to Brick a tesla

http://venturebeat.com/2012/02/22/tesla-brick/

 

The problem with hybrids and pure-electric cars is that current battery technology sucks. All batteries with the except of a very few exotic and very expensive batteries apply electrochemistry the metals that make up the anodes and cathodes of the battery. over time, the chemical reactions cause erosion of the anodes, and deposits on the cathode degrading them. The deeper the discharge and the number or recharges the faster the battery fails. Extreme temperatures also can severely shorten the life of the battery.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 17:09 | 2335953 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

I've gotten 80000 miles from my Insight battery and my mechanic has gotten 180,000 miles out of his and still going strong. And I live in a cold place.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 18:32 | 2336177 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Hi DCF and +1,

I initially rubbished your claims on your Volt as I simply didn't believe that you could charge it from your own solar power setup. I have since warmed to your Volt plugging (no pun intended) and think you're a very good diplomat for the brand.

You should ask Chevrolet for PR fees.

"Lucky where I live most people are nice - nicer than here". Can you imagine living in a neighborhood entirely composed of ZH readers? It doesn't bear thinking about!

Regards ;O)

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:10 | 2335182 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Nooks taste great with a little tumeric and curry added to them. Mmm mmm good!

I don't know about iPads, though. A little too plain-Jane for my liking.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:13 | 2335195 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"Upward pressure on wages was constrained"

I guess that's the same as saying "Downward pressure on wages was unrelenting".

Their way sounds better though.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:17 | 2335212 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

A position's wage doesn't need to go down if you just fire the worker.  

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:14 | 2335198 xela2200
xela2200's picture

Don't bother. Even if they were planning on rolling something out in a couple of weeks, they wouldn't even hint about it.

The questions is WHO is going to buy US treasuries.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:22 | 2335232 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 

"The questions is WHO is going to buy US treasuries."

 

The Chinese  said they aren't buying any more treasuries. Oh you said who I thought you meant Hu as in Hu Jintao. Sorry my bad

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:33 | 2335322 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Who? Why you, and you, and that person over there, and me, and...

everybody else who uses Fed Notes as currency.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:05 | 2335480 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

precisely, hence the switch to PMs and barter.  Hold your "wealth" in FRNs and you will pay.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 19:41 | 2336377 xela2200
xela2200's picture

+1 for the laugh.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:14 | 2335204 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Of course almost eveyone here knows that the fall must occur very soon to set up the next QE. The Fed's announcements are just used to set up the situation. Good time to buy PMs, if you have any money.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:18 | 2335214 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

I've been spending all my money on the higher CoL.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:26 | 2335259 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Just orderd three hundred bucks worth.... Unfourtunately the mail man comes by boat to where I live and we all know how that usually works out.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 19:47 | 2336404 xela2200
xela2200's picture

The last month feels like ground work.

- Stocks suffering a little.

- Commodities down with not that much volatility.

- Oil "manageable" Even the Iran talks which are meaningless in the long run are soothing the market.

- Europe is about to lay an egg.

- "No soup for you" talk from the FED.

- Next president Obama? --> Print  || Romney? --> no print  What is a FED to do.

 

If they print in April, you know the economy is in the absolute shit hole.

 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:18 | 2335215 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

All is under control!
Please step asside while your leaders step into the last lifeboat.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:17 | 2335217 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Whitney Tilson can fuck off too

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:25 | 2335255 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

I thought she died in a tragic bathtub accident??????

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:28 | 2335273 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Houston Clueless.....Houston. The real question is ...was Warren Buffet in the tub with her?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:55 | 2335428 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Becky? Becky! Where are you Becky?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:19 | 2335218 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Common sense says no QW until after the election, come hell or high water.

Reason says maybe no more outright QE ever, operations might be carried out clandestinely or by proxy, ie LTRO.

Benrnankes subconsience: There is more than one way to print dollars.

 

Bill Gross, GS and the liquidity starved muppets need to get it through their minds that QE or any thing that resembles QE is impossible until the presidential race is decided in the public opinion. A lame duck or anewly installed president can take it but Obama would need to prosecute Bernanke for any hope of re-election if there was QE.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:32 | 2335303 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

They can't say it, but they can't stop it.  The banks will all go under and the government won't be able to borrow if the Fed doesn't stay on it harder and harder.  All you have to understand is what is really driving QE and who needs the money.  It has nothing to do with the economy.  It can't be stopped.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:35 | 2335331 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Debt service, FTMFW!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:37 | 2335345 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

I´m not saying stopped, I´m sayin temporarily suspended. S&P above 1300, Nasdaq above 3000, DOW licking 13 000, you can get the muppets to buy in to "growing at a moderate pace", gas at what ever exorbitant price you pay at the US pumps, inflation on the rise, Obama up for re-election...  Do you really see the coming six months as QE season? Unless something happens, and I mean something BIG, there will be no QE because in the eyes of the Chairman there is no need.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:34 | 2335323 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Bullshit.  ZIRP is QE by any other name.  Free money for PDs and chosen corporate/VC few, and you pay the interest for them.

Winning (for them, not you).

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:40 | 2335359 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Well, if ZIRP is QE why don´t you email the Tylers and tell them how stupid and ignorant they are? "Anyway no QE on the horizon based on this."

 

ZIRP is by no means a healthy policy but if you can´t distinguish between ZIRP (zero interest loans) and QE (outright money gifts) you need to spend more time at Investopedia.com

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:49 | 2335388 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

So "money for FREE", is different than a gift?  What could possibly be better.  Hey, I think I got it.  Here "take this money, I will PAY you to take it".

Interesting, I think I have a few hairs you can split for me.  Wake the fuck up, when you (as a PD) can take that money and lend it back to the taxpayer FOR A PROFIT (i.e. you don't have to even pay back the PRINCIPAL- It is a fucking gift.

If the PDs actually hend to due their fucking jobs and LEND THE MONEY to a productive market participant, then your statement would be correct (that ZIRP is not the same as QE).

As the shell game sits now, the taxpayer is doing nothing but funding banker's salaries and bonuses. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:52 | 2335416 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

I give you a car.

I lend you mine and after X amount of time you give it back.

 

No difference at all, right?

 

ZIRP money is less likely to be risked as it actually is suposed to be paid back. The difference beween what you paid for the bond FED buys from you is your to keep and you do what you please with it. That is why QE had an impact on equities while ZIRP is doing so-so on that front. 

 

Even LTRO, as insured as it is (you can always sell the collateral to repay the loan), had a very short lasting effect on the market. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:07 | 2335449 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Thanks for pointing out precisely why ZIRP is worse than QE.  No productive lending (as you clearly state above), paid for by the taxpayer (citizen and government now poorer due to larger debt) and equities move lower (so now even the corporate innovators have to tighten their belts).

Another walking contradiction, how is graduate school going for you?  You must be at one of the "best and brightest" schools around.

 

Oh yeah, about the "collateral" you mention above.  Are we using real mark to market or the mark to fantasy bullshit currently being allowed?  Fucking laughable response.

FYI- collateral is useless, if no one wants to buy it. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:16 | 2335519 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Oh so now there is a difference? What happened to "ZIRP is QE by any other name"? 

 

QE and ZIRP are both bad, we can agree on that. I, however, claim there is a substantial difference, not only in how the policies are contructructed and how they work but also in how they impact the market. What you are saying I lost track of, just generally ranting I presume. 

 

Don´t worry about the collateral, LTRO will be rolled to infinty. 

 

And grad school? I´m pushing forty...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:22 | 2335544 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The substantial difference that you are missing, it that ZIRP is actually worse than QE.  Nothing can be "rolled" to infinity.

I sent two of my engineers back to school (one was 43), you'd be surprised.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 19:27 | 2336337 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

That you employ people that are still in need of an education does not surprise me att all...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:21 | 2335230 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

The fed has a strong yuan policy. lulz

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:32 | 2335254 barliman
barliman's picture

 

How does Ben Bernanke say "Stagflation!"

  • FED SAYS ECONOMY EXPANDED AT MODEST TO MODERATE PACE IN MARCH  ----> About 0.1% according to Magic 8 Ball in Mariner Eccles Building
  • FED SAYS MANUFACTURERS CONCERNED ABOUT RISING PETROLEUM PRICES ---> Many quoted as saying, "FUCK that HURTS !"
  • FED: HIRING WAS STEADY OR SHOWED MODEST GAINS IN MOST DISTRICTS ---> Burger King menu change results in additional hiring
  • FED SAYS `UPWARD PRESSURE ON WAGES WAS CONSTRAINED' -----------------> Employees saying "upward pressure" from strap-on, "FUCK that HURTS !"
  • SOME FED DISTRICTS SAY RISING GAS PRICES MAY INHIBIT CONSUMERS -----> FED increases strap-on purchases to offset resistance to $ 4.00/gallon gas
  •  

    barliman

    P.S. Tyler - sorry about breaking the window

     

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:27 | 2335267 Ted Baker
    Ted Baker's picture

    QE WILL COME SOONER THAN YOU THINK BELIEVE ME

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:51 | 2335418 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Believe you, why? Who are you? I've been saying 'QE3' will be a no-show for over a year here, just used as a carrot and stick to rope in retail muppets, but nothing real. 

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:55 | 2335432 Levadiakos
    Levadiakos's picture

    And I said the gold/silver run wou;ld stop w  QE2. check it chuck

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:12 | 2335502 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Well Ive also been saying those who were calling for Silver- $100 and gold to $3,000 by end of last year were going to get real disappointed too.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:28 | 2335272 Scalaris
    Scalaris's picture

    Yep, between US' "modest to moderate" growth, China's perpetual nth empty city construction and Europe's sole industrial product being the manufacturing of austerity laws, it sure does seem that neither QE nor any other liquidity supply will be indeed needed, particularly now that banks are shutting the, briefly used for bond purchasing, money taps, 

    Nope, no siree.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:30 | 2335285 ebworthen
    ebworthen's picture

    "Look inside my top hat - there is no rabbit.  Now with a wave of my magic wand watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat."

    Magic Ben and the traveling FED circus rolls on.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:40 | 2335354 Quinvarius
    Quinvarius's picture

    The audience is waiting for Ben to give them each a rabbit so they don't have to eat their Ipads.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:35 | 2335334 junkyardjack
    junkyardjack's picture

    Risk off, PCLN is tanking

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:46 | 2335391 pleseus
    pleseus's picture

    Economy is doing great!  About to reach escape velocity.  Here comes eutopia.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:49 | 2335410 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Is that someowhere near Europia?

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:57 | 2335439 WALLST8MY8BALL
    WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

    It's right next to Nohopia!

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:46 | 2335393 Everybodys All ...
    Everybodys All American's picture

    Once again the entire days' gain in the market appears to come from the first upward bias trades in futures. Got FED/PPT anyone?  What a joke market.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:49 | 2335404 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    I think the FED just put the 747 on autopilot and parachuted out the back. Good luck, bitchez, we're all counting on you....

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:54 | 2335430 monopoly
    monopoly's picture

    FED SAYS `UPWARD PRESSURE ON WAGES WAS CONSTRAINED' 

    DUH!

    LMAO

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:13 | 2335511 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Yeay I guess they want to pay people more, but somehow are luckily for the FED 'constrained' by some force.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:58 | 2335448 jbc77
    jbc77's picture

    Why is the market not plunging on this revelation......?

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:14 | 2335512 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Theres a market?

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:59 | 2335452 realtick
    realtick's picture

    My tribute to WILLIAMBANZAI7:

    http://i40.tinypic.com/33wwjr9.png

     

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:02 | 2335467 alfred b.
    alfred b.'s picture

     

       I beg to differ:   QE3 will come to pass...simply 'cause QE is not about the economy or employment;  it's about transferring wealth to the banking cartel.

       Buy physical gold and silver.

     

     

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:12 | 2335500 YesWeKahn
    YesWeKahn's picture

    What? They are worried about the price of the ink?

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:14 | 2335509 Gringo Viejo
    Gringo Viejo's picture

    Utter nonsense.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:52 | 2335691 MFL8240
    MFL8240's picture

    Compliments of the circus clowns in DC.

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 16:00 | 2335730 Venerability
    Venerability's picture

    Last I heard, no one on this thread, nor anyone who writes for Zero Hedge, and - Oh, my Goddess! - not even the Self-Anointed Ones on CNBC was a voting member of the Fed.

    Nobody has the slightest idea whether there will be Overt QE, Stealth QE, or Deep Stealth QE up ahead.

    Now that the general election campaign has pretty much officially begun, everyone has his, her, or its agenda for wanting rising or falling markets.

    Every single bit of the QE On/Off talk is simply talking one's financial book, one's political book - or often, both.

     

     

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 17:08 | 2335952 barliman
    barliman's picture

     

    Wow, that's like so deep!

    Did you come up with that all on your own ????????

    It's like  . . . transcendental . . . I'm going to go back and read it again

    ooooooohh  ahhhhhhhhhh

    I got sooooo much more from reading it the second time

    I'll bet you're REALLY funny when I'm stoned !!!!

    Wed, 04/11/2012 - 18:12 | 2336140 Rathmullan
    Rathmullan's picture

    Brilliant! Sums up everything about this faux market. and economy .

    BTW, What do you think the seasonal adjustment factor for 1stQ GDP willl be for the warmest 1srQ quarter ever recorded?

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