Bernanke Gets Hammered, Tells Truth About US Economy

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Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:38 | 1520201 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

Lol.. Love the onion. Thx TD

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:28 | 1520459 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Its true, people tends to tell the truth when they are drunk and have alcohol running in their blood stream. I recommend that before Congress meets that they should go to a bar. This will save us a lot of posturing and lying.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 11:01 | 1520607 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

In vino veritas.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:30 | 1520976 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I'll drink to that!

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 14:55 | 1521561 The Peak Oil Poet
The Peak Oil Poet's picture

 

 

come to me oh Irish and do what you do well
i've hunger for your amber ways and with you i would dwell
i've many reasons good and bad with you to share some time
and you have never let me down but that's true of your kind

 

http://thepeakoilpoet.blogspot.com/2011/07/come-to-me-oh-irish.html

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:41 | 1521011 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

works with cocain even better just in non slurry double speed speech.
There would be endless discussions however, just as today.
No i did not want to imply anything!

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:43 | 1521015 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Most alcoholics are immune to the effects of alcohol.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 13:30 | 1521239 snakeboat
snakeboat's picture

That's assuming they have blood in their veins.   They don't.  I'm betting it's woosie juice.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 13:37 | 1521280 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

Would be good if he really did.For him and everyone else.Really cathartic.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 14:19 | 1521469 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Oh come one already!!!!!

Up until a couple of years ago, Bernanke didn't even understand credit derivatives.  He simply doesn't have the necessary intelligence to understand just how screwed up things really are!

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 14:19 | 1521470 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Oh come one already!!!!!

Up until a couple of years ago, Bernanke didn't even understand credit derivatives.  He simply doesn't have the necessary intelligence to understand just how screwed up things really are!

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 23:36 | 1522871 davepowers
davepowers's picture

judging from CSpan, i assumed that's what they already do

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:28 | 1520463 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

I found this picture from the onion to be especially symbolic of our current state of affairs:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-dogs-rock-bottom-same-as-his-peak,...

 

Area dogs rock bottom same as his peak.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:56 | 1520597 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I want to live in the Onion World. Every day would be non-stop entertainment.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 11:15 | 1520739 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Just move to DC.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 11:32 | 1520804 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Onion world requires lots of drugs.  So yeah, DC is the place for that.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:40 | 1520204 doggings
doggings's picture

hmm, looks like they might have gotten some inspiration from here 

http://red-pill.org/intergalactic-bailout-rescue-global-collapse/

lol ..onion inspired parody inspires onion post, surreal. 

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:39 | 1520206 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We can only dream of truth telling of this magnitude from the PTB.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:05 | 1520339 FEDbuster
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Given all the bullshit that the MSM dishes out on a daily basis, couldn't this Onion story be the lead story on the Drudge Report today?  Matt Drudge could wake up a few million readers to the truth by posting one fictional story.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:23 | 1520438 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Sadly I see the Drudge Report as controlled opposition. It is not what it seems to be. Many are not.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:25 | 1520950 aheady
aheady's picture

Amen to that, CD.

Thu, 08/04/2011 - 01:03 | 1522996 AndyR
AndyR's picture

Hey CD...

What would you reccomend as an alternative to Drudge?

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:20 | 1520423 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

I have found that in the last year or so, The Onion has been the most accurate news source available. 

Because humor is DEEPLY founded in truth.

Or it wouldn't be funny.  Or tragic.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:39 | 1521003 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Excellent point.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 20:00 | 1522399 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Excerpt from:  http://www.theonion.com/articles/democrats-republicans-celebrate-pitiful...

WASHINGTON—Following Sunday’s pathetic excuse for an agreement on raising the government’s borrowing limit, Democrats and Republicans took time to celebrate the meager, ineffective deal, calling it “a testament to the not-so-great things that can happen in Washington when both parties barely come together and agree to not really accomplish anything.” “It took months of phone calls, negotiations, and meetings, but finally we created a pretty sad version of a framework that, we’re happy to say, none of us is really proud of, and that doesn’t really do much to solve our country’s fiscal problems at all,” said House Speaker John Boehner, who gave a cheerful thumbs up and added that the sorry piece of legislation was expected to pass both houses of Congress with a really pitiful display of bipartisan support. “Once again, Democrats and Republicans have demonstrated why our mangled, fractured, barely functioning democracy is the greatest in the world.”

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 21:37 | 1522613 knowless
knowless's picture

foreal, satire is at it's most poigniant when the lies are omnipresent.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:39 | 1520207 bania
bania's picture

Did he start a tab?

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:54 | 1520275 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

He's paying with PMs.

The bar won't accept FRNs.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:26 | 1520455 Jeremy Roenick
Jeremy Roenick's picture

Naa.  That would be too "traditional" to pay with that barbarous relic. 

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:46 | 1520547 Ryman1075
Ryman1075's picture

Nope, couldn't have paid in PMs.  That would contradict his testimony to RP that Pms aren't money.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 14:20 | 1521473 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Hmmmm, I thought he originally attempted to pay with SDRs????

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:54 | 1520278 augie
augie's picture

naa its bernanke, he wrote a couple iou's on some napkins and said that would cover it. Of course the bar tender accepted the "note" he's a representative of the Government for crying out loud. They don't call it the "Federal" reserve for nothing!

shesh, gotta spell it out for everyone... 

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:06 | 1520350 trav7777
trav7777's picture

lol...the government has to go to the same guy for cash to pay its promises.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 12:11 | 1520908 citta vritti
citta vritti's picture

FRN = federal reserve napkins

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:00 | 1520306 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Buy, buy, miss american pie.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:41 | 1520208 Version 7
Version 7's picture

Man.. he's so coherent when drunk! What beer is it..?

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:57 | 1520291 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

Beer. The Truth Serum.

as TD says, this might be the Onion BUT THERE IS MORE TRUTH IN THIS THAN ANYTHING BEnron SAYS TO THE PUBLIC!!!

 

ME thinks the Onion got hold of a real story about BEnron.... 

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:05 | 1520346 Mr Kurtz
Mr Kurtz's picture

In cervisia veritas

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:15 | 1520395 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Mad props for the Miller High Life visual

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0iSN3nK61k

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 11:40 | 1520831 Lower Class Elite
Lower Class Elite's picture

It is The Champagne of Beers after all.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 20:02 | 1522405 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Ales are way better than pilsners!

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:35 | 1520488 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

In the pic, he's holding a bud regular. The bit about the miller HL was part of the satire.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 14:56 | 1521563 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I find it very disappointing that The Onion cannot tell the difference between a Bud and Miller bottle. I expect more from my fake news.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 22:42 | 1522747 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

True, but I cut em slack because of all the great articles, like:

Strom Thurmond Proposes Transcontinental Railway

Collectable Plate Industry Calls for Tragic Death of Streisand.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Linked to Bad Parents Who Could Have Done Something

etc.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:41 | 1520213 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

There is hope after all! Everyone send Bernanke a case of Johnnie Walker.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:41 | 1520214 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Real News (sometimes): Rolling Stone Magazine, Comedy Central.

Real News in satirical form: The Onion.

Most of the rest of the media: Pure propaganda.

Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:42 | 1520215 Larry Darrell
Larry Darrell's picture

In other hilarious (and somewhate pre-emptive headlines)

 

From CNBS

Current DateTime: 06:39:52 03 Aug 2011
LinksList Documentid: 19874752
Expiration DateTime: 8/3/2011 6:40:52 AM Made all the more funny as DOW is listed as -6.93 ROFL, headline already changed in the past 2 minutes:
  • Dow Struggles to Hold Gains; Gold Surges
  • New, more accurate headline.

     

     

    Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:45 | 1520242 Pool Shark
    Pool Shark's picture

    New headline:

    Screw It; Markets Continue Crash

    Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:00 | 1520303 TruthInSunshine
    TruthInSunshine's picture

    Larry Darrell


    Vote up!

    1
    Vote down!

    0

    In other hilarious (and somewhate pre-emptive headlines)

     

    From CNBS

    Current DateTime: 06:39:52 03 Aug 2011
    LinksList Documentid: 19874752
    Expiration DateTime: 8/3/2011 6:40:52 AM

    Made all the more funny as DOW is listed as -6.93 ROFL, headline already changed in the past 2 minutes:

  • Dow Struggles to Hold Gains; Gold Surges
  • New, more accurate headline.

     

    Very astute observation, Brah.

    I've been telling everyone who care to listen and confirm that the lame ass stream proxy media has been changing headlines intraday and even intra-hour, for years now.

    I remember when they were literally changing headlines on retail sales during the Christmas Season of 2010, back in January, in a sad, funny but surreal attempt to make the bad look better - they'd literally change a headline from "Retail Sales Languish as Consumers Fearful About Employment," to "Retailers Report Stronger Than Anticipated Demand from Consumers" within 20 minutes - this was Reuters, AP, all the usual suspects.

    Welcome to the Matrix.

    Wed, 08/03/2011 - 10:07 | 1520356 trav7777
    trav7777's picture

    that is more Minitruth than Matrix

    Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!