Bernanke Speaks In Jackson Hole Redux: "Fed Has Range Of Tools For More Stimulus"

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Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:38 | 1646845 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

What? Bernanke says that the Fed is 'a bunch of tools'? Can't agree more with helicopter Ben this time!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646875 B9K9
B9K9's picture

ARTHUR:
     You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
     [pause]
     I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
     [pause]
     I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
     [pause]

     You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
     [pause]
     You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
     What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
     I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Then you shall die.
ARTHUR:
     I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I move for no man.
ARTHUR:
     So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR:
     Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
     A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     No, it isn't.
ARTHUR:
     Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I've had worse.
ARTHUR:
     You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Come on, you pansy!
     [clang]
     Huyah!
     [clang]
     Hiyaah!
     [clang]
     Aaaaaaaah!
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR:
     Victory is mine!
     [kneeling]
     We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Hah!
     [kick]
     Come on, then.
ARTHUR:
     What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Have at you!
     [kick]
ARTHUR:
     Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
     Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
     Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Just a flesh wound.
     [kick]
ARTHUR:
     Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Chicken!
     [kick]
     Chickennn!
ARTHUR:
     Look, I'll have your leg.
     [kick]
     Right!
     [whop]
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
     Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR:
     You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Come here!
ARTHUR:
     What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
     You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
     [whop]
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR:
     Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:46 | 1646889 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Professor Bernanke is my hero! I will never forget this!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:38 | 1646846 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

More Carrot, No Money, was right to go all in Long Carrot Futures :)))

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:38 | 1646847 Racer
Racer's picture

The ChairSatan is a tool

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:27 | 1647085 HardwoodAg
HardwoodAg's picture

The chairsatan is a stool

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 16:06 | 1647553 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

The chairsatan is ghoul.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:39 | 1646848 zerohandle
zerohandle's picture

EURO getting beat up, how is the compression trade looking?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:39 | 1646849 digitlman
digitlman's picture

Bernanle can go fuck himself.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:22 | 1647055 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

Can't he be stopped? Class action lawsuit. He just lying on question answer about dollar value. We need to sue fucker.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:40 | 1646851 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I think Bernanke should take Simon Black's advice and seek employment in the middle east.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:01 | 1646972 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

.....you mean he isn't already so employed by a certain country there? I thought he was aiding and abetting the doing of "God's work"....

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:41 | 1646852 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

 

 

 

The mighty, mighty U.S. Dollar is soaring on this news.

Wow, perhaps Bernanke needs to start printing in overdrive, that will surely send the dollar to heights now reached by the Yen.

Man, with the 10-yr. tanked to 2% and the dollar surging, the green light is now burning brighter than ever for him to outright monetize and take over the entire U.S. mortgage indusrty.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:43 | 1646869 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

What 'news making the dollar soar', you moron? You mean the Euro collapse? 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:25 | 1647079 I Told YOU So
I Told YOU So's picture

keep posting robo, they just dont get your brilliance here.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:46 | 1647154 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

It makes sense for the dollar to soar. Duplicating his previous Jackson Hole speech means no new goodies coming from the Fed in the near-term anyway. Part of the dollar's decline was the expectation of continued and expanding Fed intervention.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:41 | 1646853 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Bernanke, go eat a dick bitch.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:41 | 1646855 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Bernanke has ONE tool box, crammed full of hammers.

There will be no further stimulus, it is polled as the most unpopular thing among the public today with 80% saying it is 'bailouts for the rich' and theyre right.

FED painted into a corner here big time. There will be no QE3 trillions which accounts for the DOW 9,800-12,700 move already priced into the markets.

Firearms bullets coins and beans.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:03 | 1647993 Helix6
Helix6's picture

Re: "[further stimulus]... is polled as the most unpopular thing among the public today with 80% saying it is 'bailouts for the rich'"

So?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646858 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Ben S. Bernanke, King of the Ph.D shit theory mouthbreathers. Anyone listening to Bernanke speak should wear a full Hazmat suit, because they're nearly guaranteed to be exposed to toxic effluent, the likes of which few men in history have spewed forward from every hole, orifice and pore in their body.

You're doing a heckuva job, Bernank. Why don't you go and print some more FRNs, since Mark Faber is correct inasmuch as that's the only thing that your reptilian brain knows how to do. You managed to break all markets, you Harvard/MIT genius.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:47 | 1646896 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He's carrot and sticking this shit with a song and dance routine Ginger and Fred couldnt top.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:05 | 1646988 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 16:08 | 1647563 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

It's not malice or stupidity, just deliberate actions as per script.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:42 | 1646860 Cdad
Cdad's picture

T plus 9 cents on the Dixie to the macro sell signal...when the studman USD breaks through the door in Lloyd Blankfein's office with his lube in hand, Bidless following with a hand held digital camera, ready to make niche adult films to be released later today on the Internet.

 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646863 Rinpocheinp
Rinpocheinp's picture

Reads fine in translation:

Money is the IOU. Whether it is gold and silver, or bill, or electronic money, in essence, are the IOUs.

Assuming the world, only two people, the old couple and the old Chinese couple United States, began their two all of the dry, self-sufficiency. One day, Americans caught four fish, the old Chinese arrest of eight birds, birds taste Americans want to try the old Chinese seafood products like products, they exchanged the old United States with 2 fish for the old China of 4 birds. After that they often exchanged.

One day, Americans lazy, not to catch fish, at home Shuiliaoyitian. Night, the old China catch a bird home, Americans do not eat, they find the old China by birds. Americans looking for a bark, and to write on: 2 fish. To the old Chinese home, the old Chinese saying: "I exchange for you 4 birds, but today I was sick and did not go to catch fish, I give you 2 fish of IOUs." The old Chinese saying: "This to say. "accept the IOUs, the 4 birds to the Americans. Americans go back to eating flattered.

Americans have tasted the sweetness of sleep at home the next day day, night and took 2 fish of IOUs to exchange for 4 birds. Exchange is completed, the Americans were the old Chinese saying: "After the IOUs do not write on the 2 fish, and this is my IOU to fight Americans, and later wrote two dollars on it." The old Chinese readily agreed. After the IOUs to use dollars that so day after day.

Is in accordance with the principle of commodity exchange, commodity exchange is barter, goods for goods, rather than money and material exchange. Americans to spend money for the old Chinese bird, the old China to get the money, this is not the whole process of exchange of commodities, only half the process. Old China hands of Americans' money, it shows that Americans still owe the old Chinese fish. So, money is the essence of IOUs. The old Chinese Americans get money to buy the fish, the whole process of commodity exchange until the end. This process is for Americans to use the old Chinese fish, birds. If China still does not spend money older Americans enchant the bird, then Americans accounted for a great deal, and freeload old Hua. But here, Americans will try to always keep the old Chinese money to redeem him in kind.

Day long, the old China hands have accumulated a lot of money. Americans fear that the old China to exchange in kind, on the old Chinese saying: "Now we are transactions between you is a surplus, the surplus is very beneficial for you, you have to be maintained." The old China was very pleased, could not bear kind of exchange. Thought up on the old Chinese ask: "You are deficit, since the deficit negative, why do you always keep the deficit it?"

After another day, not enough Americans feel that 4 birds to eat, write three dollars, to the old Chinese family bought six birds. Americans eat the day with six birds, the old China but only 2 birds to eat, hungry hungry. But the thought of the hands of so much money to house Americans can buy many, many things, enough for their retirement, and will feel worth it.

Previously, the state of Qin to use its authority, often to countries to develop a traitor. Foreign nobility to the state of Qin to the Qin to educate them: "In the future your country as long as the Qin and fight, you will cede territory, which your country is most favorable." The nobility, after returning to their country because it is the students back from the state of Qin, learning and ability, are appointed positions. Later, Qin's soldiers as long as a pressure or a crusade against the letter arrived, these countries will immediately cede territory.

Today, the United States, this "surplus advantage" theory to be international students to the world, have become a mainstream economic theory, countries in the United States by printing money to buy things, like all countries, like guarding the dollars keep the baby, bear flowers, the United States secretly proud dead.

Then, after a long period ofTime, The old China the United States to find the old moth-eaten some of his money, and think of Americans at home these IOUs redeemed in kind. Americans said to him: "The money is wealth, how you can easily spend it? You are asking too much and you do not worry I can not afford to redeem you, I am rich, you see I eat and drink, Which will lead to better than Hello? "said as he pointed to the house of a pocket a pocket bird meat, said:" You see I have so much wealth, you worry about? I am fully able to afford to redeem you, do not you worry, I Take my personality swear, I do not breach of contract. but what do you, you are a pauper, every day, hungry to play straight Akira, I looked at all the poor. As the saying goes, the poorer the more depends, I'd worry about your reputation then. "Americans finished, I suddenly felt not good, but immediately corrected himself and said:"

Of course, you are just on the surface was poor, in fact you are very wealthy, you have so many foreign exchange reserves. You see what I have, due to a ass debt. I feel you on my backWorldThe first serious threat to the status of the rich do. "Old China was what he said, as a drink twenty-two Laobaigan, suddenly feel Yunyunhuhu of the old United States has said:" This shows you which road to take. In the future you have to continue along this road, trade between us is mutually beneficial. We want to shared prosperity. "Old China grateful, Mangxiang old U.S. position:"

Rest assured, I am a responsible person, definitely not promises! "Old China hands of the United States pointed to the old money, said:" Since the money was moth-eaten, and I will give you re-write a bond it. I suppose I borrow your debt, pay you generous interest, pay back the money after one year. "Old Chinese one, the cost-effective, the change of a bond back, and their trading and normal to continue.

Finally one day, a little wake up the old China. He thought: "What Americans live every day, this guy not do, eat and drink, all me, still moist than I can live, I get nothing more than bark, while he was always by all means to compile the various theories will not let me redeem in kind, if not converted, it can only fire when the wood. Well, not later, and he traded. "

Night, the Americans and took three dollars to buy a bird. Old China not to him. Americans say: "If you do not sell to me, I would have starved to death, then your hand dollars and bonds on all scrap it. You know, save me now is to save yourself." Listening to the old China, last resort, and he had to deal.

What Americans have to continue trading and not trading? China Chousi old, but had to pretend in front of his wife, a very wise way.

Blink of an eye a year later, the wife pulls out the old Chinese Americans goes bonds, urging China to the old debts. China is also a great hold upon their old dollars, so the way to his home Americans buy more stuff. Reduce the fear of old China's foreign exchange reserves, do not want to buy something, the couple began to argue for that matter. Old Chinese wife shouted: "do not buy things, leaving what Piyong these dollars? The future you are not allowed then to his dollars, but also allowed you to be his bond again!"

Sound spread next door, Americans scared to death. His wife said: "I would not afraid of them to collect debts, paying the money he wants to make me, how many how many. To be honest, I do not need to borrow them, no matter what to buy, I pay for directly making money on the line. In fact, whether I go to the bond issue, or dollars, in essence, are the bonds, are the kind that I owe people, while the reason I want them to borrow more money, is acting, let them know that I am very careful of making money, not easily making money, I do not buy things made in order to maintain the trust of their dollars, I suspect that I fear most is that they create chaos money, make money to buy something, do not trust dollars, do not accept dollars. the next thing I fear is that they take dollars in exchange for real so we should not hollowed out, we can not account for their cheap white and we have to find a way so that they continue to believe and accept dollars, does not compel them to redeem in kind. "

So the couple whispered for a while, and then loud noise from the frame to. Americans wife loudly scolded the Americans: "You do-nothing, you know eat and drink, I will let you save money you do not save, all debts owed, which is also what means, my good God, this day I have, however, and I was hanging to go! "Americans are loudly scolded his wife:" You Saozhou Xing, blame me know, you whitewash every day, wearing a red green, I will let you save money you listened to? Do you know me every day to borrow, on which I borrow? Man you old Chinese family, it will be called housekeeper, people and more affluent, more money was moldy. stalls you this woman, I count down the mold of eight life and I not live, I have to go hang! "

Old Chinese couple next door could hear clearly, wants to: "You must not die, you die, we ask who to go to debt! If you had money to spend on the hurry to take it, by how much there is absolutely no restrictions, to save you is to save ourselves. "finish like the old China, it said to his wife:" They are too poor, can not let them down so they embarrassed to borrow, we take the initiative to send go. there is a home birds, but also give them it. "nodded the old Chinese wife.
So the couple picked up a big hold dollars and a bird remaining at home, go home to Americans, said to them: "You should give it emergency." Then the couple turned away.

The old couple behind the United States, looking at their backs, turned the music days. Americans, said: "This life and death of the poor fool!

http://www.szhgh.com/?action-viewnews-itemid-5074

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:46 | 1646883 caerus
caerus's picture

you type fast

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:43 | 1646864 docj
docj's picture

All I can see is "blah blah blah"

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:43 | 1646866 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

 

 

Bernanke says there is no inflation worries.

I agree.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646876 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Thats because youre a moron.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 16:48 | 1647728 James
James's picture

RoboTrader says -

Bernanke says there is no inflation worries.

I agree.

SheepDog-One says -

Thats because youre a moron.

I agree

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:54 | 1646912 tickhound
tickhound's picture

 

 

ie: "These are not the droids you're looking for..."

"These are not the droids we're looking for..."

"Move along"

"Ok, move along"

FEDi mind tricks don't work on me

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:04 | 1646981 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

of course you agree...you're a clueless dickhead.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:28 | 1647088 english serf
english serf's picture

its coming. Here inthe uk they claim its 4.5%, when its really 6-10%

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:49 | 1647164 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

you can suck his brown ass, i agree.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:43 | 1646870 warchopper
warchopper's picture

Bravo! His policies have been working sooooo well. Let's continue them!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646871 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

BERNANKE: U.S. FINANCES COULD `SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL'

 

Ahahahaa, oh boy, the man with the beard is too funny.

 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:44 | 1646877 caerus
caerus's picture

stocks just got the "bernank spank"

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:45 | 1646879 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

there wont be (B) more easing until (A) another major american bank (C) fails...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:04 | 1646986 jdelano
jdelano's picture

EUR almOst on Point thEre

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:45 | 1646880 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

No mention of the "tail risk" gold is clearly signaling. Perhaps the Chaircreature has a bit more to be worried about than his "transitory" inflation.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:47 | 1646891 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

The man with the beard doesn't understand gold. Tradition, remember? ;-)

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:38 | 1647121 IAmNotMark
IAmNotMark's picture

Dr. Paul :  "Is gold money?"

Dr. Ben : "No.  Gold is not money."

Either he's lying through his teeth or he really does have no clue.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:46 | 1646881 raki_d
raki_d's picture

TD... THIS IS IMPORTANT !!
ZH has to correct this post:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/rick-santelli-tells-arch-globalization-advocate-friedman-he-idiot

To inaccurately say Rick said Friedman was idiotic, instead of what he really said ('your answer is idiotic', in response to Friedman's "Your question is idiotic"), makes Rick look like a rude guy (which he isn't).
So there is a difference, it's more than semantics.  
And when you put up a transcript, it should be accurate(it was in every other instance), so I doubt this is a case of sloppy editing).
It's misquoted in both the title of this post and the transcript, it clearly was intentional (probably to be more provocative).  
For a blog that prides itself on truth telling, that's a double standard, and unsettling.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:53 | 1646937 Robslob
Robslob's picture

Raki_d you will make a fine politician...?

There are more spelling errors on ZH posts than gold ounces in the West Point vault....wait, maybe that isn't a good comparison...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:59 | 1646961 raki_d
raki_d's picture

It may not be gold if its not a spelling error... How about this comparison ?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:54 | 1646938 WSP
WSP's picture

Civility is overrated and that is our problem---being nice to these criminals.  I think saying the guy was an "idiot" (even if he did not say that) is playing it quite conservative.  Friedman is a treasonous, lying, criminal kleptocrat.  How about that?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:45 | 1646882 Belarus
Belarus's picture

"Range of tools," you mean like the "other" column on the Fed's balance sheet where no good American can know the details of? Or plain vanilla duraation extension? Or sending overnight funding down to .oo? Or waving an empty gun? 

You decide.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:48 | 1646895 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Belarus

"Range of tools,"...

 

It should be Reign of Tools, with The Bernank as Chief Tool.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:49 | 1646906 Belarus
Belarus's picture

+1

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 13:46 | 1646885 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

Ah good to know that things are bad and that the tools (the fed) has tools.

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