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Bernanke "Thinks" A Lot About The Economy

Tyler Durden's picture


Things are bad and getting worse. We have a plan but can't tell you all about it. We have guns (and ammo) - do you feel lucky? All paraphrasing today's press conference by Ben Bernanke but perhaps most notable when one analyses his comments was the overwhelming use of the word 'think'. It seems, as ever, that us mere paeons in the global game of survival chess must once again bow to the great central planners' deep thought (and actions).


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Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:57 | 2544849 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Why Obama does not talk about this fairness -- the government extorts from hard working taxpayers to transfer the funds to this Obama supporting lazy garbage?

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:08 | 2544892 barliman
barliman's picture


Congratulations!!! First post AND completely off topic!   Your mother must be so proud!


The Word Cloud thing is getting old. Why not generate antonyms from the words list, invert the ranking process and Voila!

The Word cloud of What Ben Bernanke is working hard at Not Saying.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:17 | 2544915 Mr. Fix
Mr. Fix's picture

Time to start your own site.

This one is just fine.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:28 | 2544951 barliman
barliman's picture


Which one of you is the sock puppet?


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:20 | 2544925 Janice
Janice's picture

Time to start your own site.

This one is just fine.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:29 | 2544954 barliman
barliman's picture


Which one of you is the sock puppet?


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:56 | 2545058 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

dude barli, this is a fucking epidemic

everyone wants the first post so they can jack off at night looking at the green arrows they got for their snarky little irrelevant comment that they posted after refreshing the page 20 god damn times

at least read the mother fucking article before posting

wow this faggot posted something off a month old bill maher episode jeez

its like those facebook funny picture "1st" comment, i didnt know ZH had its share of attention whores lurking around

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:23 | 2545141 barliman
barliman's picture


Hmmmmm, Not sure if they were trolls ...

... or just a Human Centipede?

Read Tyler's article - had an issue with the ineveitable word cloud. Have a suggestion for a change of pace which might generate something interesting

Read first post, watched video - had bigger issue with OT crap.

Two birds, one stone post.  Memo to self: bring more stones.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:49 | 2545218 Janice
Janice's picture

Sock puppet? Is that what the Red Hot Chili peppers put on their penis(es)? He just had a point that could bear repeating. Don't get all pissy. There's enough of that going around.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:26 | 2545153 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Time to start your own site.

This one is just fine.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:29 | 2545160 barliman
barliman's picture


Now that's just  ... sad

And pathetic.

Have any of you ever noticed any reticience on Tyler's part to directly comment back when he feels it is appropriate?

BTW, the site is fine. Been here for a long time.

The trolls, however, just keep getting dumber and dumber. It must be the inbreeding.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:27 | 2545157 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

just kidding...

I had to look up what a sock puppet is...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:32 | 2545169 barliman
barliman's picture



/s  - always /s    (Thought this seemed out of character for you)

BTW, I do not recommend researching the Human Centipede - kind of like "Two Girls, One Cup" but without the originality.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:22 | 2545041 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Link for barliman


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:25 | 2545154 barliman
barliman's picture


Clever bit of misdirection there ...

... no, not the pussy link. Your username.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 20:06 | 2545473 Revert_Back_to_...
Revert_Back_to_1792_Act's picture


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:56 | 2544854 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

What else can he do? Monetary policy is no longer effective.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:20 | 2544922 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

reminds me of why doctors used to just apply leeches for everything - they had no other solutions.  sore leg?  leeches.  painful cough?  more leeches.  and then once the patient died no one even questioned the sanity of using leeches.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:23 | 2544934 Janice
Janice's picture

Did you ever wonder where they got all those leeches?  I've never even seen a leech.  Well, except on Rambo.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:46 | 2545023 Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

They are found in places where happy, healthy kids play... aka creek, pond, lake etc.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:34 | 2545176 barliman
barliman's picture


Never seen a leech? Try a mirror.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 01:24 | 2546074 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

You gave me some ideas...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:56 | 2544855 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

greedscam = maestro

the bernank = pigstroker

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 18:27 | 2545310 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i almost voted

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:58 | 2544861 LarryDavis
LarryDavis's picture

Here is how the banking industry works........takes your deposits and levers it around 30:1 to 50:1  making idiotic bets on things they dont even understand. Then borrow money from at 0 percent and loans it out at much higher. That's a great fucking industry.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:17 | 2544917 Manthong
Manthong's picture

You missed the part about becoming insolvent and having your politician underlings steal money from the taxpayers for you.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:59 | 2544864 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

He must spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:00 | 2544872 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I actually wish that Bernanke and Obama would stick to thinking only, because whatever they do has proven to be counterproductive for the US. Give the free market a chance.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 21:03 | 2545686 toady
toady's picture

Has anybody else heard the phrase:

'Think long think wrong'?

I remember it from my youth, haven't heard it in a while.

They've been thinking for a few years now...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:32 | 2544876 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

But, but, but, Bernanke wouldn't lie:

Bernanke On 60 Minutes: "We're NOT Printing Money"





Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:02 | 2544879 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Another day, another "Bernanke Miracle"


- No QE for now

- No Eurodebt purchases from the Fed

- Stocks only down slightly.

- Oil plunged to 8-mo. lows.

- Gold and silver sold and battered again.

- Treasuries well bid.

- Commodity speculators now living in fear of the daily threat of "jawboning"

I mean really, it can't get any better than this.

Just look at Wal-Mart, Dollar General, Disney, etc., new 52-week highs after perfect 45 degree angle 9 month Boner Runs

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:11 | 2544902 gjp
gjp's picture

It really is incredible.  They have the markets on absolute lockdown.  Nobody believes it so even on the big announcement today volumes were generally below yearly averages (which are themselves down).  Maybe they're only trading among themselves, but what on earth will force their hand and cause them to lose control?  The only thing I can see is commodity inflation / currency crisis, but that threat seems distant now too as they get a firmer grip on oil and pms.  The kleptocrats win again, sad sad sad.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:28 | 2544950 Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

Ol' Robo -

Who are you speaking to these days?  What's your message, my man? 

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:33 | 2544971 barliman
barliman's picture


He only speaks to himself.

He finds it much more convenient because when he stops talking he takes the silence for agreement.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:49 | 2545031 Whoa Black Barry
Whoa Black Barry's picture

stay strong brother

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:05 | 2544885 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Perhaps the Bernank and his central planners should do a bit less "thinking?"

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 19:13 | 2545422 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture


He's dancing that old tune "lets twist again, like we did last summer, lets twist again like we did last year"

Chubby Check bouncer that one

Lyrics are so true. Fucking Tool - talk about painting the taxpayer into a corner

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:07 | 2544891 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture


For realz, yo!

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:07 | 2544893 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

I think I'll have another.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:07 | 2544894 Satan
Satan's picture

Mainly Ben thinks about the millions he is going to make as a consultant at a TBTF when his time runs out at the Fed.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:10 | 2544901 potlatch
potlatch's picture

As someone who actually thinks for a living, I apologize.  Trust me: most of us know we are not actually supposed to operate any heavy machinery nor hold any weighty position whilst doing so.  Again, I apologize, on behalf of all thought and all thinking.


I can call the bluff right now, though: thinking is what you do when you don't know.  I mean, that is Socrates 101.  "I do not Know"


That's what I do for a living, and it is honest work of that I must insist, but, yes, no heavy or weighty things.  Thinking no go do that.


Thought is to action what a puff of air is to a feather.  A philosopher deals with that as stock in trade; but I do not think this is what he is supposed to be, correct?  He is not supposed to be a thinker right?


Or is this break time for everyone to pause and think time?


wow, as Andy Warhol would say

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:12 | 2544903 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Oh the thinks you can think.....


You can think up some birds that's what you can do can think about yellow or think about blue. You can think about red. You can think about pink. You can think of a horse. Oh the thinks you can think......

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 18:34 | 2545334 Island_Dweller
Island_Dweller's picture

You made me think of this:


I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain

I'd unravel any riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain

With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain

Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:16 | 2544912 Racer
Racer's picture

Thinks but does nothing constructive

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:20 | 2544924 tictawk
tictawk's picture

The Fed's entire game for the last 30+ years has been to grow debt via its policy.  Debt in any form simply is revenue to the banking system.  Dollar depreciation helped in this regard and everytime the economy slowed, the Fed lowered interest rates and our debt-based economy got pumped. 

Now it is payback time and "payback is a bitch".  The Fed think it can continue its dollar depreciation policy but strangely it is not working very well.  Shortly the bonds will fall out of bed and rising MARKET rates will destroy all those in debt.  The Fed thinks it can lower the debt burden simply by depreciating the dollar but this time it will not work because Credit will dry up if the Fed attempts any heavy handed moves.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:20 | 2544926 vintageyz
vintageyz's picture

Don't even mention the following computers in the same sentence with Deep Thought:

  • The Milliard Gargantubrain
  • The Googleplex Star Thinker
  • The Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler
  • The Multicorticoid Perspecutron Titan Muller
  • The Pondermatic
  • Ben Bernake
Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:10 | 2545101 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

And the answer to life, the universe and everything is still 42.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:21 | 2545139 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Was in 1913, now it's only 0.37 and still going down.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:23 | 2544932 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

"I think therefore I should print but shall not for now"

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:28 | 2544948 Debtless
Debtless's picture

My tummy hurts. I'm thinking I might need to sit down and take a Bernanke now.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:34 | 2544959 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

I think someone should have thrown a shoe when he pointed out that his policies are helping "many.many,many" people and his policies were "very,very,very" stimulative.


Bonus Leisman footage.


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:40 | 2544996 skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture

Bernanke is playing the hand that he was dealt beautifully.  What cards were in that hand?  A huge and out-of-control structural deficit; a building housing bubble; manufacturing industry heading overseas, already low interest rates from Greenspan, and wars in the Middle East.  His only tool is monetary policy, not the fiscal policy that was the real culprit.  Way too much credit/blame placed on the Fed chair.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:48 | 2545028 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

true, but he's guilty of being an enabler of terrible fiscal policy - do you think $1.5T deficits could exist if the Fed wasn't soaking all of that up?  what about the eventual collapse that comes about because he's removed all perceived risk?  he's done nothing but kick the can, and the systemic risk is now far higher than it was in 2008.  if we had just let the market clear in 2008-9 we'd be in far better shape.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:23 | 2545145 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

...and probably 3 or 4 seperate countries, by now.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 19:12 | 2545420 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

carl seems to be trying to give a compliment for a decent job in certain respects

you sound almost propaganda-like:  pretending to agree with him before undercutting him by implying that nothing good has really happened in 4 years

we should be in better shape?  like who?  germany?  wtf are you talking about?  get a pulpit if you want a flock of moronic sheep to bleep to yer buzz-wording

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 19:56 | 2545535 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Silly me, I always thought the 'Bernanke Put' referred to his golf game, but you suggest it's something far more dangerous (?).  Ironically, had he taken more time to work on his stroke, perhaps the markets could have "cleared" -- like a throat blocked with phlegm.

In fairness, at one time I agreed with your premise, but now have a sneaking suspicion history may paint him as more of a loaves and fishes wizard, while he fades into retirement like a Cheshire Cat, with nothing but his resplendent beard, and patient grin, visible ...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 16:50 | 2545034 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

He THINKS, therefore, he IS.


It depends on what the meaning of "is" is!

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:24 | 2545150 marco1324
marco1324's picture

Survival Chess, Chess is good, Chess is like life, it reflects it, Chess shows the way... does the fucking horse move again?

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:41 | 2545205 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

My name is Benny and I gave the world a huge case of zirpes [std - stimulus transmitted disease].

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 17:43 | 2545208 bullsandthebears
bullsandthebears's picture

Its all Technicals on the chart my friends, nothings long term and all is a sham, watching a market lift on a financial crisis has reason, feds big money controls, feds are the bank, even if big money is worthless as we know, ol ben is just trying to keep this hedge alive. The swan may be a designer hedge in itself as others fold down to the all mighty.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 18:20 | 2545303 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

Thinking about things but not actually doing things. Who knew that Arctic Monkeys had a premonition about this fucking bird-brained numbskull in 2008.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 18:33 | 2545332 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Think Well Economy.   The big 3 words.  Even a cavemen can make sense of these.

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