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"Better Than Expectations" - Asteroid To Miss Earth
Surely, some algo, somewhere will ramp the futures by at least 1-2 points on this headline. In other news, anyone sufficiently brain dead after today's market action is welcome to watch the following soothing live clip of the asteroid's passage, which confirms that Bruce Willis' asteroid busting services will not be needed.
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Damn, a strike would have meant stimulus! Krugman will have to pray for an Alien invasion.
Update:
Good news: Asteroid to miss Earth
Bad news: Asteroid to collide with Moon and knock the Moon into the Earth
Oh Fuck - I thought it would hit Wall Street.
Now we have to do it ourselves.
Oh wait - it's 2012 - i.e. God-On next year!
Wonder what punitive mayhem He has up His sleeve for His monetary "servants"...
impact in t minus fifteen minutes.
watch it:
http://events.slooh.com/
It may have atomic gold on it. A near impact will potentially involve some of those gold ions entering the atmosphere. Hence the afternoon dip as this new supply was priced in with the appropriate leverage.
I wonder if this is what Hugh Hendry met by needing a meteor to hit the earth to get the kind of deflationary event that could push gold prices higher. Does this count as a correct call?
Nothing like an Extinction Level Event for your portfolio!
***Breaking News***
Asteroid narrowly misses planet earth. The Bernank, however, squarely hits uranus. And uranus. And uranus. And so forth.
Trichet to accounce he will implement The Bernank uranus plan for citizens of the EU as soon as he's given the green light.
***This Has Been Breaking News***
Now that I've got your attention,
I'd like to point out a few things.
A) Comet Elenin. It had a 6000 to 15000 year orbit that was vertical to all other known comets. The sun shot a coronal mass ejection at it that tore it to dust. I've got a funny feeling if you track back it's plane you'll find our solar system colliding with another, so more stuff to come into our system from this plane, go to the end of this plane and you'll probably find our Binary companion to the Sun.
B) Solar flares have been going crazy. Sunspot 1339 which is new, is massive. The Sun is acting up and we REALLY understand how it works less than 1%. It is still a great mystery.
C) All the outer planets in our solar system have been undergoing radical changes.
Economics and Celestial Physics and Alchemy = 2012
GAME ON BITCHEZ!
Grab a joint, a good woman, a bottle of whiskey,
lay a blanket and spend a few hours watching the stars.
The universe is Awesome.
What 'radical' changes? ... and over what time period?
I think the most interesting thing I heard about ELE was that it was only the first to come (said a former NASA scientist). He said, "ELE is a time capsle, and whatever follows is what the capsle was suppossed to tell us about."I don't know much about space, but I do know that the heavens have been very active lately. The earth too, for that matter. I am not sure, but something seems to be afoot.
Strange things are afoot at the elliptic K.
You can check the other camera locations here http://www.lemonparty.org
lol
that was evil particularly for those who open in a work environment or who are trying to convince their girlfriend that they are straight, of course the best is those who have webhistory enabled so when junior checks out dad's surfing habits or the misses
I'm sitting on a train and a pic of a bunch of old gay men sucking each other off pops up on my iPad.
Next stop, Homoville!!!
Fn Hilarious..........I just sent the link to my shrink.
Fuck you I was eating dinner.
there is nothing less flattering than seeing Congressmen servicing a Bankster...
Which one was pelosi?
Suddenly everything makes sense now.....
I'm gonna need therapy to get over that one.
no need to show your home made porn pictures, ugh
I would suggest a disclaimer or removing that link
FWIW
Dude, don't go all "warning label" -- everyone gets lemon'd once. Now you know.
http://failbook.failblog.org/2010/05/03/funny-facebook-fails-grandma-got-trolled/
Rick Astley!
Oh , no - not again! LOL!
God, people are clever!
yeah, and goatse'd and one cupped, I guess.
Asteroid was gonna hit Wall Street then decided there was no money in it! Decided to come back in a couple of light years.
when the markets have more honest regulation, maybe 123.000 miles from now.
My God! I will be filthy rich on my MoonStrikesEarth CDS!!!!!
Efffiiiiinnnnn YEEEEAAAAAAA!!!!
oh wait...
It's too bad MF Global was your counterparty.
@Divided States ...
+1 Good one!
Sidereal time is not money...
Good news, should be good for an asteroid rally tomorrow.
Those bugs really need to work on their aim.
CONfidence has been restored !
This is bad news, imagine the rebuild and epic-keynesianism that an asteroid strike could start.
+We should launch Jamie Dimon, Blankfein, Moynihan and all the other white collar crooks on a one way trip to this asteroid then nuke it.
No, don't nuke it. I want video of the look on their faces as they observe this beautiful planet shrinking into the distance along with all their stupid ill-gotten oh-my-god-I-wasted-my-life gains
Someone has read Brutal Orbits.
What do you call a hemorrhoid on an Eskimo?
Polaroid.
What do you call an asteroid on Wall Street?
A good start.
saved.
We will never know how many close encounters dinosaurs had with astroids before THE ONE slammed into the earth...
Although the theory that dino extinction was caused by an astroid strike is not believed by all scientists... Big Hit Day couldn't have been a good day for the dinos.
Worse than Ben getting before a camera tomorrow and saying "Uh... Ya know that gold that used to belong to the US...? Uh... We can't find it..."
Ironic?
Dinos....then...man....
Hmmmm.....
"What do you call an asteroid on Wall Street? A good start."
Heyhoooooo!
I wonder if the CIA & Mossad got some good intel from the 2005-YU55 fagbook page?
/bin/bash> kill -l -s mossadCIA_scum & sleep 1
I just can't get my machine to operate properly..... Any hints from the spaze monkey's?
'& sleep 1" wasn't really necessary. :>D
Bullish! Willis not needed!
No that's bearish. Asteroid to hit moon, crash moon into the earth, earth orbit to destabilize and drift toward the sun. That's bullish. Worth at least 200 points on the S&P
Crash moon into earth? I thought it was 'gold to the moon', not the other way around.
Well, finally some good news on ZH. See, it ain't so bad. Is evreybody in? Good, all your assets is belong to us.
All your asset are belong to us!
Until I started reading ZH, I thought that assets were young, female donkeys......
All your (money) base are belong to us (federal reserve)
[quote]
What happen?
Somebody set up us the bomb!
We get signal:
Gentlemen, all your base are belong to us
you are on the way to destruction
what you say!
Give cones change the machine!
You have no chance to survive make your time
take off every sig!
Link a fast ether lord fucking net ascending
for great justice.
[/quote]
YU NO GO 55?
No. YUGO NO GO 55.
How much will the Earths gravity effect it and will it make another pass?
The next pass by earth on the round trip is due in 2029. Another close orbit encounter. If not that one then the next one after that is 2047 - could KABOOM!
Lucifer's Hammer...
Hot Fudge Sundae falls on a Tuesday.
I think you're thinking of another asteroid. according to wikipedia the next approach in 2029 is by Venus- unless your writing to us from Venus in which case, what are the winters like there?:
On 19 January 19 2029, 2005 YU55 will pass about 0.0023 AU (340,000 km; 210,000 mi) from Venus.[13] The close approach to Venus in 2029 will determine how close the asteroid will pass the Earth in 2041.[5] The uncertainties in the post-2029 trajectory will cause the asteroid to pass somewhere between 0.002 AU (300,000 km; 190,000 mi) and 0.3 AU from the Earth in 2041.[5] Radar astrometry in November 2011 should clarify the Earth encounter situation in 2041 and beyond.[5] As of 7 November 2011 (2011 -11-07)[update], the nominal solution shows 2005 YU55 passing 0.1 AU (15,000,000 km; 9,300,000 mi) from the Earth on 12 November 2041.
They're all over the place...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/99942_Apophis
bbq on whitehouse lawn asked:
1) The force of gravity is the product of the mass of the Earth, the mass of the asteroid, and the universal gravitational constant, all divided by the square of the distance between them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_gravitational_constant
2) Yes, if it thinks that the Earth was flirting with it.
Well whoever thru it can play for the Rockies....they have alot of bad Pitchers
But..., it's the thin air, isn't it?
Too bad we didn't know about this sooner. We could have quickly build a space craft ( hell it works in the movies) and launched all the bankers up there. Let the asteroid carry the assholes to some other netherworld.
I´ve heard that the cost for putting one kilo (2.2 lbs) in to orbit around the Earth is $22,500. Why would we squander that kind of cash on bankers when rope is so cheap?
True very true but when you look at the wealth they plunder any investment is worth the price.
Why DO we squander much more than that kind of cash on bankers when rope is so cheap?
Find yer car-keys yet?
Larry Summers fat arse is big enough to fill in any hole caused by a massive asteroid hitting earth!
Larry Summers already hit the Earth sometime in the mid 1950's, and his "fat arse" has done more damage than the entire asteroid belt could do.
http://dungheap.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/beware-the-lizards-of-november/
Confucius says: Where there is one, there are more....!
Get ready for the big one. Of course that will be really bullish for stocks.
We got spared for one more day. Now it's good time for a finger licking stimulus. Or war maybe
So what are we talking here?
Does the asteroid not have a Teleprompter?
What?
No speech writer?
Asteroid repulsed by rapaciousness of the Jews?
wouldn't it have been great to transport every politician, oldigark, and the HFT robots onto said ASSteroid, and wave goodbye! if only, sigh!!!
I have had it with this crazy planet. I'm hopping aboard this roid and riding this baby
to wherever it's headed. Can't be any worse than this dump of a planet.
It already passed? Damn, I guess this purple snuggie and spiked kool-aid are going to be Christmas gifts for someone....
How ya going to poop?
Which slimey politician will step up to the podium first and take all the credit?
G-Pap?
The ahhh...eeerrr...uuummm...guy.
If it had hit the moon or the earth I am certain that TOTUS would have blamed it on Bush.
According to Berloscuni's Facebook page status:
"Mi darà le dimissioni dopo l'asteroide colpisce la terra"
TBTF banks levered 50:1 that roid was gonna hit earth.
Poor Martians. They picked the wrong taxi.
Guess they are booted off the Amazing Race.
I've covering my roid shorts after hours. Should have been hedged with Euro CDS.
Or Prep-H.
It was shooting toward Iran.
Shirley you meant Greece.
Pa Pa Pa, PaPa Ran,
Oh Paparan, take my hand....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wbMqRO6lnc
That's not an asteroid. That's our debt
Tyler....Don't even get me started!!!!
Asteroids was one of my favorite Atari games in the 80's. I didn't know they put out a 4S version.
It would have been bullish if it hit the middle east
Landing smack dab in the middle of Tel Aviv would be even better.
does this mean i have to break up the cult?
Have a Kool Aid party...
Its ok Im in the drivers seat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr4wGFJrSss&feature=related
Like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2sI8vIJQY8
Does that asteroid have it own fiat???? Maybe it could bail out the entire world while it flies by with payments not due until it comes back
"Better than Expectations" depends on whether you expect the Chinese to rope one into orbit any day now. What could go wrong with that?
http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arxiv/27112/
They're already drilling on it...Loral Space ;-)
get ready for the stock market to rally on the news.
I'm throwing up with joy
For fun have a look at http://www.purdue.edu/impactearth. Based on what I know of the object. Select from Projectile diameters "Empire State Building" and for "density porous rock. " Distance from Impact 1km. Then click on "Calculate Impact" and watch the show as it decends on Manhatten.
The Super Commitee just announced they've agreed to $5 Trillion in budgetary savings from cutting back their plans for mining the asteroid. The remaining $15 trillion of planned spending for the project is a go.
Are nuclear winters and mass extinction events bullish? What's the correlation of gold price to ecosystem collapse?
Bullish, dammit!
BTFD!
I don't know about nuclear winters and mass extinction events, but a nice ice age would do wonders for the real estate market here in Floriduh.
All I see is a really tiny dot.
A big-assed roid???
Oh, you mean these guys:
http://www.centredaily.com/2011/11/05/2975648/attorney-general-indicted-penn.html
http://media.centredaily.com/smedia/2011/11/05/15/07/bVnVM.AuHi.42.jpg
GERALD SANDUSKY: Yeah, it's been great. You know, it's been an opportunity to see some special young people overcome some challenges in their life and go on to lead a life of excellence. And it's an opportunity to throw out a rope to some kids and, if they grab hold, you know, they can be champions.
http://tiny.cc/y2hur Go ahead Jimmy, grab the rope, be a champion today. And his book was called, wait for it Touched: The Jerry Sandusky StoryNow that's truly something to cheer about.
Plus the price of dog food is coming down. So I'll be able to feed my family.
http://fucklloydblankfein.blogspot.com
Eat the dog. Then the neighbor's.
They do it in Chineeland.
This thing was a bigger scam than Haley's Comet. Stupid disk jockeys this morning pumped it up as "a real sky show", I saw something that I thought was "IT", no, it was just a jumbo jet flying towards Montreal....
A stoned Martian is riding tyhe asteroid. It hits earth and he stumbles off and says to the first human he meets (cue martian voice) :"take me to your dealer"
Cheers! 'tyhe'
Asteroid impact unexpectedly imminent. (The revised edition).
Wow! Now that IS truly bullish. It missed.
But there are more to come... Dun, dun, dah!!!
it really would have been much better if it had hit
More Than 10% Turn Clocks Wrong Wayhttp://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/local_news/Daylight-Saving-Time-Survey-2...
fall forward bitchez
MORE LIKE FAIL FORWARD !!!
LOLOLOL
Looks like a rotating turd. Maybe it's space poop jettisoned from a death star.
Just another Fwank Fwart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHEMUwv6jcM
Phuck, does my life insurance cover roids? I'll ring my agent.
That asteroid represents a vast pile of nickel-iron that we're missing out on. Go long on metal futures.
Asteroids >< Hemorrhoids ... They're all the same anymore. I'm just waiting for the B.S. out of China in a few hours.
I feel your pain, YC.
At least Ag has turned up again.
Your supply of, " Antacids" is larger than mine. I ain't touching that one. Good on ya though!
Got blown out twice on my USDHUF, this third try is coming alive.
Cumon trip 2's!
That asteroid does not have the X-factor - Im not voting for it
Maybe the judges will save it in the orbit off
"There seems to be almost no limit to the stupidity of these people.”
-Nigel Farage on the ECB
http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/KWN_DailyWeb/Entries/2011/11/8_Ni...
This asteroid indeed missed the earth, but one thing is for sure Nigel is absolutely right!
Hardhats bitchez!
asteroid algos! and it's only tuesday!
keep tyler's glass full!
if the earth were the ovum, the asteroid would be the spermataZooroid
when fertilization occurs, all hell breaks loose
even worse than bad debts & zombies
originally, this is how the universe came up with pirates, BiCheZ
the brontosauri were especially amazed!
What will ZH do for a free thread tomorrow?
ODummer to take a lie detector test?
Earth Is Not Orbiting The Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NH5yK3ZN54&feature=related
YU55? Why does this blog want to go all TMZ on us?
Sheeple revolt, NOW!
Be more like Herman Cain and "stay on point"!
and a non-sexual hand gesture to you.....
What would John Kerry do?
John Kerry would support Mitt Romney against the communist Buffet rule that Obama wants to put in place.
Do not test the 1% who pay 14% effective income tax, yet are scared shitless of 9.9.9 cause that means no donations to "charities"
So true. Even Clinton wants 3 terms for ODummer.
Wonder what bets Shillary has out.
Hope for change in the AIPAC vertical silo. Obummer is going to lock horns and deport the wrecking crew once and for all.
I'm all in for 'Obummer'. I think I'm going to start trading an account for him. All proceeds going directly to his reelection.
Moon in the corner pocket.
2 Bennebux if you make it....
Intl. Space Station > Pacific Ocean. #2 target, ( radar lost) South China Sea!
TAX GEORGE SOROS! 120%
Phuck, there's no way the super committee is gonna cut funding for asteroid defense.
Why would they? Bwaney Fwanks are cheep! Thick enough for shields, too.
Errr, the super shitty itty bitty titty committee.
Well, Montana has been heard from.
Pissed tonite, Fraser was not in my dead pool.