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"Better Than Expectations" - Asteroid To Miss Earth

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Surely, some algo, somewhere will ramp the futures by at least 1-2 points on this headline. In other news, anyone sufficiently brain dead after today's market action is welcome to watch the following soothing live clip of the asteroid's passage, which confirms that Bruce Willis' asteroid busting services will not be needed.

 


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Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:00 | Link to Comment mynhair
mynhair's picture

When do the polls close in OH?

On tenderhooks.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:01 | Link to Comment mynhair
mynhair's picture

Buy-a-lick.

On all news stations near you.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:09 | Link to Comment Maestro Maestro
Maestro Maestro's picture

 

We don't need some algo somewhere to ramp the futures by 1-2 points on this headline or another.  The real purpose behind the ramping up of futures -- like all those other little games that we play -- is to avert your eyes from the prize. The prize is our privilege to be able to create worthless digits and buy your goods and services with them without paying anything of value in exchange.

We don't have to ramp up the futures per se.  Just like we don't have to find a market to sell our bonds; or make CDSs perform, or even save the financial system for that matter. For we have the power to buy anything -- including a brand-new financial system right after this one collapses. Gold is not our nemesis. All of you will be happy to sell it to us at a higher price at a later date. We will be happy to oblige you with one form of fiat or another. Gold is just another story we tell to make you forget that you are slaves.

Gold, euros or dollars.

It doesn't matter as long as you have a price.  

If this is a democracy (or a republic), why is it that I can, and you can't?

Print money, that is.

 

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:09 | Link to Comment chump666
chump666's picture

That is really cool. 

 

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:13 | Link to Comment tempo
tempo's picture

The market moves higher as Governments fail (Greece and Italy). Then expect an all time high, when there is another debt ceiling crisis. A black Doctor goes to jail and a black pill popping pop stars is idolized. A black businessman is slurred while a black community organizer is idolized. Up is down; down is up in this media driven world. Expect more of the same. How would American's react if China laid down conditions for more of our deficit spending?? Would anyone take responsibility? This is similiar to what is happening in Greece and Italy as leaders take off in their private jets loaded with gold while letting the masses riot. Could it, will it happen here?

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:33 | Link to Comment mynhair
mynhair's picture

Well said, and yes, it will.   I'm waiting on the OH results to finally say GTFO.  Most morons on here support OWS without knowing what OWS is.  If the breadbasket fails to deliver, the idiots are truly in charge, and I am outta here.  No 'hope' for intelligence to boil up.

 

To those that have no clue (Paulistas), the Goobermint has 10 years to track you, and ALL countries have agreed, so there is no skipping out anymore..

Physical, bitchez!

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:20 | Link to Comment El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey I just saw the asteroid through my telescope and thought I saw several Hale-Bopp'ers waving back wearing those old style Nikes... Either a bad telescope or, a bad flashback...

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 21:41 | Link to Comment mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Another day we didn't get hit by an asteroid, just like the last few million.  And yet it's bullish, fer sure. 

Wake me up when we are actually hit. 

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 22:02 | Link to Comment TheAkashicRecord
TheAkashicRecord's picture

ELENIN BROWN DWARF REPTILIANS COMING TO HARVEST PEOPLE TO MINE GOLD ON PLANET NIBIRU.  PEOPLE USED TO HAVE LIFE EXPECTENCIES OF UP TO 900 YEARS IN THE BIBLE, WHY NOT NOW, THERE IS FLOURIDE IN WATER AND INCREASED NATURAL DISASTERS WITH HAARP AND CHEM TRAILS!  THEY WANT TO CLOG YOUR PINEAL GLAND WITH HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!  

TIME 2 WAKE UP!

 

 

 

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 22:21 | Link to Comment owensdrillin
owensdrillin's picture

 

Did anyone see anything about this on the news prior to it passing earth? That is real close to a hit. Suprisingly, Ofucknuts hasn't stepped up and taken credit for this missing us.

Makes you wonder if there aren't more more behind it which may hit.

On another note, thanks to global warming, Cypress Bowl in Vancouver just had it's earliest opening ever for skiing.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 22:22 | Link to Comment Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Now, you know that asteroid knew full well it would not hit the Earth, but lowered the analysts' expectations of the closeness of the encounter, thus guaranteeing a beat! 

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 22:34 | Link to Comment Oliver Klozoff
Oliver Klozoff's picture

Transitory I say.

(edit)

The fact is we'll never see the Earth-Killer until it's too late.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 23:33 | Link to Comment the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

you trust Brian Williams? he wouldn't tell you the truth if someone wrote it on a piece of paper and offered him a million days to say it

he has what they call integrity

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 23:35 | Link to Comment honestann
honestann's picture

Damn, I missed.  :-(

Better luck next time.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 23:50 | Link to Comment stiler
stiler's picture

Of the five total blackouts of the sun predicted for the last days, the first is to happen before Apocalyptic events even start.

Wed, 11/09/2011 - 04:16 | Link to Comment CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

I'm sitting in an office at a high tech machinery plant in Shenzhen China reading this and watching the video.  The factory churned out three massive CNC machines here this week and half a dozen single screw gas compressors.  (Basically starting from a block of steel). They will probably get a big piece of the gas compressor contract for the new Russian gas line that will run directly into China.  

Meanwhile back in the land of "free" they focus on 2011, reptiles, an I-Phone 4.  BTW a couple Foxcon factories are down the block -- they are churning out IPhones and IPads for all the unemployed in the US.  Enjoy. 

Food inflation is obvious here. It now costs over 4 RMBs for a 2 egg breakfast and just over 5 RMB for a plate of steamed dumplings or a bowl of wontons.  100 RMBs = about $16. 

 

Capitalism is alive and well in Shenzhen. 

 

 

Wed, 11/09/2011 - 06:25 | Link to Comment Booyahman
Booyahman's picture

Damn that Bruce Willis and His infinite powers!

Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:36 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Galadriel: [he remembers her words to him] And for you, Frodo Baggins, I give you the light of Earendil our most beloved star. May it be a light to you in dark places when all other lights go out.
Frodo: Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima.

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