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Blast From The Past: SNL Explains Wall Street

Tyler Durden's picture


Just because few have captured the essence of Wall Street quite like the following "Straight talk with Global Century" SNL skit from the recent past, which reminds us that the more things change, the more they stay the same: a timely reminder in the aftermath of the FB bloodbath.

Thanks to Mike Krieger for the reminder


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Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:12 | 2448063 SilverDosed
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Stranger in a Strange Land'd

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:27 | 2448111 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

speaking of "strange", look what the NATO puppetry is up to, today (reporting to the UN puppetry?), and of course, everything was "legal", too.  and did you hear? zero US casualties!  none!  (so, turning over sovereign control of the US military works, see?):

NATO Operation Over Libya 2011 Shows Importance of Cooperation The members of the NATO alliance believe that the operation over Libya last year, showed once again the importance of cooperation between the alliance and its partners, in particularly with the EU such connections, especially in the areas of air-to-air refuelling, medical support, maritime surveillance and training.


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:43 | 2448170 Xkwisetly Paneful
Xkwisetly Paneful's picture

They are marching on Geithner's office's where is the coverage?

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:55 | 2448214 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

who?  NATO?

who is "they"?  some prez0 job training project?  with signs? 

i think it's like professional wrestling, X_P:  timmah gave jamie a little smack-down last week over the orthodoxy ofVolkerism, and now timmah gets a little harmless show about how "bad" he is

tyler buys into this fight theme stuff, so stay tooned...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:12 | 2448265 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Ya telling me wrastling ain't real ?  Say it ain't so...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:27 | 2448325 malikai
malikai's picture

It's ok guys. It is being spun as errors on NASDAQ. It should be up by at least 10000% once these orders are confirmed.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:50 | 2448391 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i would never say that about wrestling!

my 10-y.o. son and i grew up on theHulkster; andAndre; and mMan...

...and the female star, boobs-a-GoGo, sneaking up and laying these guys out with a well-swung folding chair... or intriguing with them, saucily, for belts the size of tables, made out of shiny plastic...

since life imitates art, i'd say we're pretty well set, here, as a family...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:49 | 2448799 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Chief Jay Strongbow ~ October 4, 1928 – April 3, 2012 ~ RIP

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 20:08 | 2449265 Orly
Orly's picture

In lieu of HIPAA, I did an MRI Lumbar Spine scan on The Spoiler once.  He was my favourite growing up.  Freak and huge, this guy.

If his jacked-up back is fake, I'd hate to see what you call "real."

Long live Chief Strongbow and long live The Spoiler!


Tue, 05/22/2012 - 01:11 | 2449884 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

orly, good to see you back around again.

Nice new perspectives?



Mon, 05/21/2012 - 22:22 | 2449551 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Really sorry to hear that. I've very fond memories of him fighting Bruno Sammartino.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:12 | 2448067 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

They should have had muppets for an audience.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:18 | 2448085 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Fact is they do! ;-)



Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:28 | 2448116 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

little sick of you bashing the USA, dot head

why dont you stick to bashing your own fucked up country and its evil caste system

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:37 | 2448141 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Cognitive dissonance much?

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:42 | 2448152 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

oooooh, Cortez the killer, I'm an equal opportunity basher twit. Take your jingoistic eyes to this, just yesterday, right here...

"India is the world's most capitally in-efficient country. Electricity is it's achilles heel.

And it's stuck with jaw crushing determination to the western way, ill fitting and power hungry as it is for the miliue...

Epic disaster unfolding.

But man, if you think America has been Hopeyed, India has been drinking the Hope Kool Aide since our supposed independence. "



Now take your dim-wit, reactive, thin-skinned rayciss ass and go wrap yourself in old glory.


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:43 | 2448166 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Take it easy curry boy!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:49 | 2448188 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

 "Lighten up Francis"... (oh wait)!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:54 | 2448208 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

If that is the best you can do....never mind, I rest my case.

And plus, this is fight club asshole, are you ganging up? Hmmmm? Don't think Mr. JIngoistic up there can handle this  "fight" alone? Breaking a RULE? Bad boy Pald, bad boy. 

What a doofus, I'm sure you sat up in chair, squared your shoulders a little, nursed your whiskey and the cold steel you always have at hand as you typed out that whip-saw of an insult. Eh?



Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:25 | 2448315 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

rU the guy who claims to have served in both the USairForce and the imperialNavy0'india? 

you forgot the self-referencing link

but, you haven't lost, yet!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 15:10 | 2448483 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Please refer to my prior comment!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 17:21 | 2448900 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

in my pirate-mind's eye, i frequently refer to the rack on your prior avatar, Pla_zow!

PLEASE! please me!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:10 | 2449123 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You must not remember the avatar before that one. His current avatar could be seen as an, uh, abstract representation of that one...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:23 | 2449151 Chump
Chump's picture

Interesting take on that.  I would've thought the opposite...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 20:13 | 2449272 Orly
Orly's picture

His ex was Chinese.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 23:26 | 2449673 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That was naughty funny. Great to see you out and about. Lots of old timers back in these here parts.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:04 | 2448242 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

i'm gonna come rape ur whole family you fuckin cracker

"curry boyz" are into white bitches fyi

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 22:52 | 2449614 superflyguy
superflyguy's picture

I too didn't know that until I watched Chris Hansen's show...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:53 | 2448203 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I read that post of yours I believe yesterday...don't even need to click the link to confirm

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:54 | 2448211 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

then why dont you devote your superior intellect to fixing the problems in your own regional shit hole.

Racist, nothing. Compared to India the USA is a fucking Utopia.

Stick that in your curry dish, Monjabo

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:19 | 2448290 Kayman
Kayman's picture

3 weeks in Fight Club and CorteZ the Newbie asks to have his ass handed to him. If he could find his ass with both hands.


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:31 | 2448738 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

Should have said "Sambo". One lak and lass a night!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:55 | 2448808 Whiner
Whiner's picture

Gentlemen, gen-tel-MEN! Now let's together turn the other cheek and say we are sorry. Ours is a universal movement of tolerance and progressive feelings toward our fellow citizens around the world. Now then, let's hold hands and sing," I'd like to teach the world to sing..." . A one'a, na'two'ah, three'ah. Eat my shorts you red dot faggot!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 17:03 | 2448833 francis_sawyer
Mon, 05/21/2012 - 17:34 | 2448926 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

SNL Royale Deluxe II (cars ride demo'd via circumcision)...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:43 | 2448169 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I have seen him bash his own country, royally. All leadership, worldwide, is enthralled to TPTB. They all need a good bashing.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:54 | 2448204 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

I'm afraid that's not entirely true. Take... Egypt. Not the same PTB are everywhere.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:56 | 2448218 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Glad my objectivity in pol/nation-bashing has been noticed Ms. Gracias. ;-)


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:56 | 2448809 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'm Gumby dammit!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:08 | 2448227 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Nice to meet you Cortez. Im Louis Dega, The best counterfeiter in France. National defence bonds, Circa 1929. My friend is Steve Mcqueen Aka escaped prisioner Papillion

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:24 | 2448312 laomei
laomei's picture

Then stop making the US suck so much

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:34 | 2449172 Chump
Chump's picture

Fat chance of that!  Get it?  Nation of fatties, waddling towards diabeetus?  See what I did there?

Aahahahaha I slay me.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:13 | 2448069 Segestan
Segestan's picture

Those Reds think they will survive.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:15 | 2448072 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

The audience should have lynched this douche CEO.  Weak accepting muppets need to take revenge.  

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:46 | 2448178 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The lynching would be more satisfying, but have less comic value. It's funny because it's true. Folks keep participating, knowing it is a criminal enterprise. Take the folks still in the market on this site...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:51 | 2448195 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You are absolutely right. I am astounded that these " markets" are still active. Why people haven't taken their money and run is beyond me. I guess the addiction to gambling out weighs any common sense.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 17:31 | 2448915 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

she said nothing about an "addiction to gambling"

is that what she "meant"?

are you sure you understood msC?

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 20:10 | 2449268 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

First, the markets are not as active as they look.  Nobody's really there.  The FaceBook IPO will be remembered ( by the survivors ) as the last tango on the Titanic.

Second, you know, this is ZeroHedge.  It's not .  

I don't want to tell you guys that I put what money I had into food and land and silver 8 years ago, and now I'm writing a simulation to figure out how many solar cells and storage batteries I need to run my ground-source heat pump.

Like Hell Boy -- I just want to fit in.



Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:16 | 2448077 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

We make change..that's what we do

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:27 | 2448112 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Ah, yes, the first bank of change.  How do they make money? Simple...VOLUME.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:35 | 2448135 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

"We're not going to give you 20 million nickels.  Unless that is the change solution that suits your needs.  Like Mr. Bass."

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:21 | 2448084 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

What's sad is that most of the 'Hindu cows' that live in America simply enjoy laughing at themselves as this comedy skit mocks them...

What's even sadder is that the banksters & politicians KNOW THEY WILL...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:18 | 2448086 Tinky
Tinky's picture

I'm partial to the much earlier Python iteration...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:20 | 2448094 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Speaking of the past:

Welcome to the Wonderland

Warren Buffett has enjoyed tons of publicity recently as a fantasy tax advocate (as if either Warren’s company, or his daddy, Sen. Buffett, ever attempted paying their share of taxes? ? ).

Strange for a guy whose company has been in tax court forever, battling to avoid paying back taxes?

Strange for a guy who heavily and successfully lobbied against any oversight on credit derivatives when Dodd-Frank legislation was being formulated; credit derivatives are not only involved with ultra-leveraging (shadow banking) and ultra-leveraged speculation, but also tax evasion and tax avoidance, off-balance-sheet equals untaxed as does offshore translate to untaxed; and swaps are routinely used to avoid the paying of capital gains tax.

Just doesn’t make any sense, now does it?

Whatever in creation Warren Buffett is, he ain’t no tax advocate!

Nick Hanauer has recently made some noise about inequality, writing about it along with a friend, Eric Liu (Skull & Bones, Yale).  Now Hanauer is the founder of the League of Education Voters, yet another Gates Foundation-funded privatization of education ploy for the upper 1%.

Just doesn’t make any sense, now does it?

Sorry, but Hanauer’s concern sounds far more like the typical re-posturing for economic warfare reasons.

Paul Krugman’s appearance at Seattle’s Town Hall was immediately sold out --- but why?

Oh lordy, the fools and witless ones believe Krugman to be a liberal, because he writes a column with a title claiming to be one?

Sorry, Charlie, but Krugman has long been in that group promoting the offshoring of America:  offshoring jobs, offshoring technology, offshoring R&D work, offshoring investment --- that is, the dismantling of the American economy.

Now Krugman repositions himself as a “liberal” – sure he’s against austerity; anyone who isn’t has self-identified as the enemy of the people, either a member of lackey of the banksters!

Except, what good does more stimulus do without addressing the structural problems which resulted from the offshoring of everything --- the disinvestment and defunding and privatizing of America?

Just doesn’t make any sense, now does it?

Actually, it really primarily aids the banksters.

The last federal stimulus, a goodly portion going overseas thanks to waivers signed by then-Secretary of Commerce, Gary Locke, now Ambassador to China, went to keeping public service employees employed (police, firefighters, teachers, etc.), and those people who earned over $50,000 per year tended to vote Tea Party goons, who then stopped the revenue sharing, causing those public service union people to become unemployed!  (Just examine the exit polling data from the Wisconsin voters who elected Gov. Walker --- sure hope they finally learned their lesson, but I seriously doubt it!)

We definitely do require a massive federal stimulus --- along with a massive restructuring of the US economy --- it was dismantled and restructured away from a consumer-based society to a fantasy finance structure, benefitting the banksters --- high time people realized this!

Finally, a few years back, there was publicity around President Kennedy’s assassination for some reason, and NPR ran one of those purely propaganda snarky stories of theirs.

A columnist from South Carolina was retiring from writing his “The Rambler” column and related a supposedly “chilling” anecdotal vignette about how, one time among his ramblings, he met a woman who said she had been stationed in Japan with Lee Harvey Oswald and she stated that Oswald spent all his spare time practicing at the Marine Corps rifle range.

Besides being at complete variance with statements of those who really were stationed with Oswald in Japan, there is simply no way in Hell that females were allowed at USMC firing ranges in the 1950s --- NO WAY, NO HOW, NO EVER!

Just never happened --- yet NPR was pushing that fictional piece as fact!

Just doesn’t make any sense, now does it?

It's called co-opting, whereby the bad guys, the fraudsters, take over and frame the discussions, which inevitably leads to their framing of the "solutions."

Sadly, it works when everyone remains ignorant!

Welcome to the Wonderland!


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:49 | 2448191 Xkwisetly Paneful
Xkwisetly Paneful's picture

Great material.

The rich and powerful control global governance,

they have done nothing but grow them geometrically the last however many centuries,

but there are still people out there who believe big governance is somehow for the people.

Just mind numbing.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 18:19 | 2449042 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

 +1  (every three weeks he sez something cogent...)

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:21 | 2448097 takeaction
takeaction's picture

"You knew in advance about 9/11?"........Basically.  Classic

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:23 | 2448100 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

So, what is the deal with precious metals today?  

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:24 | 2448102 Tinky
Tinky's picture

They weigh precisely the same.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:12 | 2449127 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Perfect. Gonna buy som' more.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:24 | 2448103 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Complimentary to this is the Whitest Kids You Know skit for a political ad by fictitious Clint Webb... absolutely dead on:

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:10 | 2448259 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Pretty funny. I'd vote for an honest asshole over a dishonest prick.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 15:24 | 2448522 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

And I raise your stakes.

Especially check last 5 seconds, which bank is named? :)

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:25 | 2448105 malikai
malikai's picture

Buy, bitches!

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:27 | 2448110 narnia
narnia's picture

Yea, these are all the dumb ones.  the smart ones have their life's savings in banks paying 0.001% APR indirectly holding completely worthless sovereign securities.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:27 | 2448113 asteroids
asteroids's picture

[G]lobal [S]entury.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:32 | 2448130 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Best SNL ever.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:35 | 2448136 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

I was disappointed she did not kill the prick.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:38 | 2448148 Catch-22
Catch-22's picture

They should have had for the CEO advisor part Mini Me (Blankfein)... perfect fit.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:41 | 2448157 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Now can we cross the 200 day moving average to the downside. There ain't no more retail money to steal.

But the FED might go back into the business of transferring money to the banksters through stocks so who knows.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:42 | 2448159 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture


Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:42 | 2448161 VonSalza
VonSalza's picture

Little sing along

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 13:53 | 2448201 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Very funny, in a crude kinda way...

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:21 | 2448280 Agent P
Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:23 | 2448303 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

A very funny skit.  Never seen it before.  Hope they do one on FB.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 14:58 | 2448425 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture, they almost got it. To make it real they should have the guys last lines be, ''now if you will pardon me, I am late for the child sacrifice with Rosemary's Baby and the Suicide Vampire Squid of the Great Wal Mart of China''.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:23 | 2448713 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

The FB debacle is a kick in the balls of the fucking con-artist at MS and the other banks.  After the dot com crash and all the 'fuck-thy-neighbor' moves over the past 20 years it seems the public finally either got wise to the act or just ran out of cash.  Someone at MS is in the middle of packing his/her desk because of the FB IPO and the scammers are scrambling to figure out how to screw people in this new environment. 

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:27 | 2448726 Loose Caboose
Loose Caboose's picture

I do hope you are right.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:29 | 2448730 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

That skit is funny because it's rooted in truth...which is always the best comedy

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 16:58 | 2448815 monopoly
monopoly's picture

I love a company that has integrity. LOLOL

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:05 | 2449120 neutrinoman
neutrinoman's picture

SNL does it again. Their political satire is the only thing on there worth watching any more.

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 19:51 | 2449209 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

lol coincidentally BI posted a piece about Citi bullish on JPM:

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