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Brian Sack Is Out

Tyler Durden's picture


The New York Fed's Brian Sack, better known by everyone as the head of the Plunge Protection Team, is gone.

NEW YORK—The Federal Reserve Bank of New York today announced that Brian Sack, executive vice president and head of the Markets Group, is resigning from the Bank effective September 14, 2012.


Mr. Sack will remain in his current position as head of the Markets Group and Manager of the System Open Market Account (SOMA) until June 29, 2012, to help ensure a smooth transition. The New York Fed has started the search process for Mr. Sack's replacement.


"Brian's service to the Bank over the past three years has been critical to our response to the financial crisis and the country's economic recovery," said William C. Dudley, president and chief executive officer of the New York Fed. "I accepted his resignation with great regret and wish him well."


Mr. Sack will step down as head of the Markets Group and SOMA Manager on June 29, 2012. He will then be placed on leave until September 14, 2012, during which he will have limited contact with the Bank and no access to Bank information, including FOMC and supervisory materials.


Mr. Sack joined the New York Fed as head of the Markets Group in June of 2009.

And to think we were only kidding two days ago when we tweeted the following...


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Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:14 | 2319681 RacerX
Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2319724 comrade pravda
comrade pravda's picture

...NY Fed has started a search process for Mr Sack...


The NY Fed has purchased a monkey that is trained to press the "Buy Button" whenever stock indices turn red.  This monkey is not considered a suitable replacement for Sack because the monkey flings feces at B. S. Bernanke whenever B. S. enters the room.  The NY Fed is now seeking a monkey that is less aware of its function to replace Sacks.


Ben Shitter Bernanke: A tool who shits Benjamins in a vain attempt to imply that the status quo works.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:25 | 2319734 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I will hire Brian to run my portfolio no matter how much he is asking...






Fri, 09/03/2010 - 11:41 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman

Fundamental analysis? Earnings? Technical analysis? Charts? We don't have a prayer when Ben has his finger on the button under the table.

You can take the ghosts of Graham, Dodd, Edwards, and McGee, as well as every CFA on the planet to manage a portfolio. I'll take one insider at 33 Liberty and my performance will wipe the men's room floor with your's.

Love your spirit, kid. Now get back to class.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:47 | 2319806 Arius
Arius's picture

be careful what you wish for ... now we (and the rest of the world) are at the mercy of the interns ...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:50 | 2319817 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I thought it was Richard Sack?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:27 | 2319908 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Sack to be replaced by Charles Kadlec. Dow 100000
  • By: Charles Kadlec
  • September 1, 1999
  • Foreword by: Ralph Acampora


So how does Kadlec actually get to 100,000? First, he shoots down comparisons to previous periods of boom and bust. The cold war is over, he notes, which represents a new political paradigm. Then there's the oft-discussed drive of the baby boomers to retire in style. And, of course, there's technology, presenting new ways for workers to be more productive and resourceful. Kadlec also sees the worldwide trend toward freedom and democracy as a powerful economic force, as is the need for governments to compete with each other for economic activity. But he cautions that the prosperity he predicts isn't guaranteed: wars (either with bombs or tariffs) could end it pretty quickly. So could terrorism or higher taxes. (He includes some nifty illustrations showing how tax increases on rich people inevitably sock middle-income and poor people harder.) And a currency shock could cause untold economic mayhem. Kadlec notes that even he was surprised by his conclusion that the Dow should travel to this nosebleed height. But if he's right--well, let's just say a lot of investors are going to have very comfortable retirements. --Lou Schuler
Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:44 | 2319950 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



I guess he wasn't too good at plunging.  I suppose a janitorial restroom specialist position is out of the question too. 

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:58 | 2319978 Havana White
Havana White's picture

A whisper from his conscience slipped from his lips.  FIRED.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:15 | 2320339 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Dunno, but it rhymes with "lyin' sack"

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 20:59 | 2320993 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

"The Golden Boy" will be missed.  I guess maiden lane will be all wrapped up by September.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:23 | 2320182 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

He was completely Sacketed...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:30 | 2320042 prains
prains's picture

I thought it was Richard Sack?


i thought it was Brain Sack

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 01:02 | 2321338 chipshot
chipshot's picture

dick sac is out and in full chub mode...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:49 | 2319814 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Why hire him?  Hades, you can put out bids on garbage yourself if you have an unlimited amount of fiat to do so............that's all Sack did.............

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:38 | 2319781 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

NOTHING MATTERS but boosting the economic numbers by whatever means possible until Chairman Obamakov's re-election.

After that, it won't matter anymore, and everything can be allowed to crash, bringing us the Gloriuos Chomskiite Socialist World Of NEXT TUESDAY! (tm)

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:51 | 2319820 Arius
Arius's picture

you think thats why the rats are abandoning ship ? whats next Timmay?  i know bernanke is the good captain ... will go down with it  ...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:14 | 2320337 Kali
Kali's picture

A lot of rats jumping ship lately.  Not a good sign.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:51 | 2319823 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

Who does the Fed want?  obama or romney?   That is the question.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:17 | 2319888 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Any stooge will do.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:26 | 2320191 viahj
viahj's picture

one is already fully paid for, the other will require additional leverage

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:40 | 2319784 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

lmao.. The Fed can hire anyone to buy AAPL to juice the markets.  The only interview question would be, "If AAPL goes down, you _____"

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:53 | 2319829 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

take a shot!

Oh, wait... wrong game.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:49 | 2319812 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

They should just get right to it and replace him with Larry Kudlow and pay him in 8 balls.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:53 | 2319826 Arius
Arius's picture

larry is too smart to fall for it ... and not too ambitious to want his name in hollywood boulevard... he wants to see the money first ...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:32 | 2320201 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

larry is too smart to fall for it ... and not too ambitious to want his name in hollywood boulevard... he wants to see the coke first ...


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:01 | 2320099 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Ooh ooohh oh me me me! I'm available! Pick me! I'll even shave my back and palms too! I need a cushy job to tide me over this rough patch and open up the doors for high paid, speaking gigs after...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:24 | 2319739 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

OT, but what is this banner ad for "Kisses of Africa" now doing next to the "Thai Love" and "Russian Cupid" ads on my ZH?  It is as if ZH were the magnetic hub for every on-line prostitution scam on the Internet.   

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:30 | 2319754 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

The Ads are generated based on cookies in your machine left from your web travels. Search for a new tennis shoe and adidas will pop up, look at porn and you get porn....

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:36 | 2319778 HD
HD's picture

If you search for both do you get foot fetish ads?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:39 | 2319789 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

Your computer gets the "Athlete's Foot" STD

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:43 | 2319801 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

AKA:  "the Rex Ryan".

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:40 | 2319791 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Slaughterer is showing his support for the 99%


ZeroHedge: The #1 destination after watching a Japanese teen double fist a black cock.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:43 | 2319798 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Some ads on some sites are generated by what's on your computer, and some are targeted at a sites audience based on content.  I do believe we all see the same ads here, because I see the same ones here others complain about and I've never seen them on other sites.  And I've never searched for porn on this computer.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:47 | 2319807 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Uh huh, sure you haven't. And Bill Clinton never inhaled.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:51 | 2319822 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

I said searched, not viewed.  I know those addresses by heart.


For cookie free private/no script/ad block browsing.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:47 | 2319809 cossack55
cossack55's picture

What about your "other" computer?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:56 | 2319833 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Wait, up see ads for my local bank?

You don't have to search, btw, just visit sites that clue in the Google that yer feeling randy.

Google Knows All

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 17:39 | 2320596 msamour
msamour's picture

I see ads for cars and gold on mine. It doesn't matter if you use google or not they tailor the ads for your searches. I have not used google since I got this new computer, ever. I started using Bing for all my searched when i got this computer. They still monitor everything you check regardless of which steps you take to do private browsing.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:00 | 2319841 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

"And I've never searched for porn on this computer"



Thu, 04/05/2012 - 17:35 | 2320586 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Hey, how come all my ZH ads are for S&M paraphernalia, illicit designer drugs, and books about Hannibal Lector?

Man, ZH is so creepy!

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 23:12 | 2325473 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

I searched for your icon.  Ended up on a date with a nice Latvian girl last night...........

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:03 | 2319846 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Be nice. Every pimp knows even dirty old men need love. On the other hand I've wondered if this is some sort of conspiracy to marginalize that "fringe blog" by making it into that "nasty-ass fringe blog". It would be a very cost effective way to do it. You pay skanky sites the extra 0.001 cents per click-through they need to pay so they dominate the ads on sites you don't like. For a few thousand bucks you change the character of the site and drive readers away. It would be cheaper than paying trolls (who seem to be rather scarce now days). Of course I can come up with a good conspiracy theory behind almost anything. :)

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:56 | 2319974 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Yeah, where did all the trolls go?  It's been 48 hours since I posted



Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:15 | 2320338 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

...@ slaughterer pervert you.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:37 | 2319777 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Brian, did you get tired of being the bankers' bitch, Bitch?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:37 | 2319783 Popo
Popo's picture

No, it was time to rotate into Goldman.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:37 | 2319785 ACP
ACP's picture

Is Sack on Linkdin? I need someone to do some manipulation for me, on a contract basis.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 21:26 | 2321056 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I guess that red day at close did it in for him.  The US markets must not build up momentum to the red or down side.  Because the markets around the planet are wanting a flushout and many of the economies can't take it.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:14 | 2319683 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

What/who will keep the Testes/Dow from collapsing?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:17 | 2319684 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Sack got sacked.............

And why the Hades is he on leave 'til Sept 14 after leaving in June?????????  Don't you just love the Fed?????

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2319717 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

So he can suck some fiat without working.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:26 | 2319742 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Another high level banker resignation... could there be something to the allegations of Benjamin Fulford and David Wilcock?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:32 | 2319762 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Fulford? Never. The man is pure disinfo. A poor version at that. He cannot even tell a coherent lie. For instance, his secret Japanese society that's taking on the Western elite was going to force Bush to step down and demand he be replaced by, Al freakin' Gore!

Yep, he's tuned into the opposition, for sure, for sure.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:22 | 2319899 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Is he tied in with Divine Cosmos? The guy that runs that site is a whole level of crazy higher!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:31 | 2320200 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

American bukakke is better!

Ooops! Did it again ...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:55 | 2319831 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

keeping him on payroll to keep him quiet til sept 14 for some reason.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:30 | 2320043 back2basics
back2basics's picture

maybe he doesn't want to be involved in QE3 and is leaving right before the perscription is recieved 

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:15 | 2319685 transaccountin
transaccountin's picture

Muppet for replacement~

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:15 | 2319686 Capitalist
Capitalist's picture

It's no coincidence he got Sacked!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 18:12 | 2320680 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Yeah, but I'm wondering if the Fed SOMA is the same as the Brave New World stuff....

Seems to keep "investors" pretty mellow...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:16 | 2319687 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

should be in leg irons and an orange jumpsuit. Bring back the Coinage Act of 1792!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:32 | 2319766 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

what else is Guantanamo for?
oh crony political terrorist, not financial terrorist, sorry for asking.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:15 | 2319688 Marge N. Callz
Marge N. Callz's picture

To soon be replaced by Bill Gross, in order to buy MBS from himself in operation Twist 2.0.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:16 | 2319691 machinegear
machinegear's picture

Mr. Sack will step down as head...


I am sorry. I don't know why I find that so funny...


*chuckle* :-)

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:20 | 2319714 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

If Brian Sack becomes a whistle blower, this might really lead to some problems...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:23 | 2319733 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

for him.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:30 | 2319756 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

yep, 450 million problems. This being the number of bullets bought by the Department of Homeland in-Security.

Of course the DHS is planning to fill other sacks with lead not this sack.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:33 | 2319769 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Yeah, he better stay away from jacuzzis. Hmmm, second thought, may be not.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2319700 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture


cant wait for the book tour....

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2319701 undercover brother
undercover brother's picture

he's probably made enough money frontrunning himself and now ready to enjoy his retirement

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2319706 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Who gives a shit?  Apple is ready to hit a new high!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2319707 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Rats adandoning ship -- all the high profile resignations are mounting towards something significant

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2319708 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

on Goldman's payroll?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:20 | 2319712 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

where do i apply?  i can mindlessly buy the most insolvent junk imaginable with taxpayer money and be ok with a $200k salary!!!!


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2319716 Hansel
Hansel's picture

Wonder which bank he's going to for his 7 figure salary.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2319718 vmromk
vmromk's picture

Bring that "human" piece of garbage back, who the hell is gonna keep AAPL above $600/share?

Bernanke (you MOTHERFUCKER) help !!!!!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:22 | 2319720 tardball
tardball's picture

To top of Sack's sacking, he needs a good, swift shot to the sack.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2319723 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

But now the Fed can't use Sack as collateral.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:22 | 2319726 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Please. It's Brian P. Sack.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:22 | 2319727 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

There are all sorts of rumors all over the conspiracy sites about bankers leaving and being forced out. Gosh, makes you wonder if there really is a "counter-force" to the evil empire.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:01 | 2319842 i-dog
i-dog's picture

I believe that "theory" is a disinfo front to stop the sheeple from worrying ... while all the bankstaz head for the underground cities that have [apparently] been built. Something wicked this way comes.....

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 17:46 | 2320620 msamour
msamour's picture

If by the end of November you do not see anyone of importance in the news anymore, then you should start to worry, grab a shovel and dig far, and dig fast! Where is Sudden Debt when you need his Gumby panic icon...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:22 | 2319728 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture


out two steps before the unavoidable mega crash......and the peasants with pitchforks...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:23 | 2319729 infinity8
infinity8's picture

Isn't 9/14 the day of the next debt ceiling breach?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:22 | 2319730 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

The economy is doing great, no need for government manipulation anymore...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:23 | 2319731 SantaCruz
SantaCruz's picture

frees up another kushy spot for an ex-goldmanite

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:23 | 2319732 penexpers
penexpers's picture

Fuck you, Brian Sack.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:25 | 2319741 BrokeDayTrader
BrokeDayTrader's picture

He'll become managing partner at some blue blood firm soon enough.

I hate that guy!!!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:26 | 2319745 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

Frees him up to be on Romney's cabinet.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:26 | 2319746 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Brian was replaced by an algo in one of the Feds cost cutting is a very simple algo based on red and green and the depth and duration of red.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:29 | 2319751 rufusbird
rufusbird's picture

Sad Sack

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:34 | 2319755 jack stephan
jack stephan's picture

Witness Mr. Henry Bemis, a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers. A bookish little man whose passion is the printed page, but who is conspired against by a bank president and a wife and a world full of tongue-cluckers and the unrelenting hands of a clock. But in just a moment, Mr. Bemis will enter a world without bank presidents or wives or clocks or anything else. He'll have a world all to himself...without anyone.
The best laid plans of mice and men...and Henry Bemis...the small man in the glasses who wanted nothing but time. Henry Bemis, now just a part of a smashed landscape, just a piece of the rubble, just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself. Mr. Henry the Twilight Zone.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:53 | 2319827 j0nx
j0nx's picture

And in the end surrounded by books with no way to read them. Great episode, one of my all time favorites in fact.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:06 | 2319861 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

The glasses breaking is a classic moment.

Alan Harper does the Bemis impersonation in the beginning of a 'Two and a Half Men" episode when he freaks out in a bookstore, complaining he has no time to read.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:28 | 2319915 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

The irony of it all. And I love THE TWILIGHT ZONE - the ironies are just too much. All the time in the world, and now his glasses are broken - the irony!!!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:30 | 2319757 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

My cat says there's a derivatives unit waiting for him at JPM

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:30 | 2319758 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Tyler the prophet.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:34 | 2319759 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

It was supposed to read, "Brian Sack Head Of The NY Fed Has Been Shot Dead..." GOD DAMMIT!!!!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:31 | 2319761 Aunty Christ
Aunty Christ's picture

Interesting timing, his last day will be right around the end of Operation Twist. Who needs Sack if there's no more QE?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:59 | 2319816 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

He's being replaced by IBM's Watson.

He can juggle digits so fast, why even Nanex will be left in the dark!

Oh, and addressing your question. I can see Bernanke on the TeeVee addressing his inability to save us, since Sack was the only one who knew the password, and well, he's no longer with us.

Sorry 'bout that.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:32 | 2319764 BandGap
BandGap's picture

The title being a double entendre and all.....

Sacrifices have to me made in order for it to appear something is being done.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:33 | 2319770 surfersd
surfersd's picture

What are the odds that he ends of at JPM / GS / Blackrock ?



Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:35 | 2319772 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

Maybe somebody finally discovered they are running an HFT shop and he is taking the fall.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:35 | 2319774 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Like most here I am so sick and tired of all the lies from the FEd bullshit and kicking this fucking dented, rusted can down the road. There is no way we can ever pay soon to be 16 T+ in 5 lifetimes. It will blow up along with the rest of the Western world. But, since we have an election and a billion dollars in campaign funds for the useless one, this will go on at least till November. Yes, we will have a correction or two but I feel it will hold together with rotton glue, used bandaids and frayed cord. I have no use for this market or the TV idiots. It gets worse all the time. They talk on TV for 10 minutes about some woman with 14 kids, and give 30 seconds for the poor soul in Greece that killed himself yesterday because of the carnage being wrought in his country by corrupt politicians.

If it was not for my bride I would disconnect Direct TV and just play music and get real news from the few positive sources on the Internet. It becomes more and more frustrating for us. And when the miners finally find a bottom. When they are so oversold and gold ramps to its true value, then we will win, and PCLN, AAPL, CMG and AMZN will move to their real worth. Patience all, patience. It will play out correctly.

Right now all I have is confetti and physical. 

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:43 | 2319800 semperfi
semperfi's picture

DITTO !!!!  (The only thing I watch on DTV is sports, and mostly just football - back when cable/satellite TV started its main advertising point was it was commercial free becuase you were paying for it - now we pay handsomely for a shitload of dedicated 24/7/365 infomercial channels - one can only watch shop-erotic so many times - if I didn't have a family I would dump DTV and get my sports online)

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:37 | 2319782 10044
10044's picture

NY Fed has a 'CEO'? As in, how "private" companies have CEOs?? But I thought FED is a government entity? Ok, enough of that conspiracy stuff, when is american idol on again? How about dancing with the stars?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:09 | 2319999 The Beam
The Beam's picture

Pfft.... forget those. HOW ABOUT JERSEY SHORE! I would so tap the Snooki *starts pretending to smack an imaginary asss*


*realizes Zero Hedge can see him*

Um.... Uh.....


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:38 | 2319786 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

he needs to take a break before prez0 appoints him to the cabinet in january

attyGeneral?  Hahaha!

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:01 | 2319843 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Looking at his bio, I'd say Commerce. Maybe he'll come up with the next "5 year plan."

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:41 | 2319945 fuu
fuu's picture

Someone needs to replace Timmah.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:38 | 2319787 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Sack of shit deserves alot worse

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:39 | 2319790 FranSix
FranSix's picture

'Brain' Sack is fired.  Throw out the oil sump as well.  They might just be looking for a plumber, if you can handle the job.  Just part of my dead-pan humour.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:51 | 2319819 sleepingbeauty
sleepingbeauty's picture

Great link...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:41 | 2319796 HD
HD's picture

Where's the part where it says he's leaving to spend more quality time with his family? Isn't that the standard "my ass just got fired /indicted" statement?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:04 | 2319851 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

He's gonna get promoted for a job well done. I wonder if Kissinger is hiring?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:43 | 2319799 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Skynet can do a better job...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:52 | 2319821 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

One of the great things about Goldman Sachs is their commitment to promote from within the firm whenever possible.

Brian Sachs' just another example in a long list.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:56 | 2319832 cirrus
cirrus's picture

Can you imagine if his first name was "Richard" instead of "Brian"? Now that's funny....

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:58 | 2319838 soopy
soopy's picture

Damn, no more sack jokes then?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:03 | 2319852 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

his plunging days are over..hahahahahah

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:06 | 2319863 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

George Costanza has just been hired to replace Sack.

What could go wrong?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:09 | 2319870 BandGap
BandGap's picture

"Sack heads the Tea Party" - news that's fit to print.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:09 | 2319871 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture
We apologise again for the fault in the markets. Those responsible for sacking the Sack who has just been sacked . . . have been sacked.
Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:11 | 2319873 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

And, of course, you know where Mr. Sack will now go to work. His new company . . .

Goldman Sacks

(Oh c'mon! You knew it was coming!)

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:51 | 2319967 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture


My bet is he ends up there. 

Goldman is too obvious.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:12 | 2319875 Cursive
Cursive's picture

"Brian's service to the Bank over the past three years has been critical to our response to the financial crisis and the country's economic recovery," said William C. Dudley, president and chief executive officer of the New York Fed. 


Understatement of the milleneum.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:30 | 2319919 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

Did he burst out laughing when he said "economic recovery"?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:55 | 2320087 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture


"Brian Ballsack has been buying stocks with phoney digital money we create out of thin air.  It's a difficult job to buy crap to prop up rigged, fascist markets".

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:12 | 2319877 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

The advisors have nothing left to offer to protect from plunges. He is abadoning the ship or has been ordered out by a very angry Chair Satan as his artificial world collapses.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:15 | 2319880 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

to be appointed finance Minister of Ireland in 3...2...1...?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:17 | 2319885 Robslob
Robslob's picture


"resigning from the Bank effective September 14, 2012."


Also will come to be known as Black Friday

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:30 | 2319918 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

He was fired?  For what - Fed trading on inside information?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:30 | 2319921 Mutatto
Mutatto's picture

Wow!  Canned after only 2 triple digit declines in the first 100 days of '12!  And here I was thinking he was doing an outstanding job!!

I pity the guy who replaces him.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:33 | 2319927 GoldmanBaggins
GoldmanBaggins's picture

Leaving to pursue a career in spanish politics

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:36 | 2319934 ekm
ekm's picture

Out of all big banks only BAC is up.

I'm sure he got sacked because he's buying too much BAC and can't get suckers to unload to.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:42 | 2319948 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

or maybe there will be an opening at the Iranian Central Bank soon

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:52 | 2319968 KevinH
KevinH's picture

80% chance that he's going to be the next dean of dartmouth.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 13:55 | 2319972 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Don't go looking for a job at JPM Brian. Some guy there had to take a 15% PAY CUT.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:11 | 2320000 aztec two step
aztec two step's picture

The comment section here is the blogospheric equivalent of the front row at a World Wrestling Federation event. The preponderance of those who contribute either know very little about the topic or write intellectual drivel.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:38 | 2320061 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

+1 bonus point for self referencing post irony

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 14:46 | 2320074 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Today he is leaving the Fed. Tomorrow he will be front running them at a major bank or hedge fund.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:12 | 2320330 Joshua Falken
Joshua Falken's picture

Will he be writing his memoirs

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:29 | 2320384 alexanderstollznow
alexanderstollznow's picture

what kind of idiots  believe in stupidity like the "plunge protection committee"?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 16:30 | 2320387 erinever
erinever's picture

Can this be a national holiday?

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 20:16 | 2320901 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

He can't keep up with the green company failures.;range=5d...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 20:25 | 2320917 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Sack sacked, like a cat in a bag. The Plunge Protection Teams tierd old drugs don't work, they just make you worse, but, you know when Heaven falls we'll see Sack's face again ...on freaking fire., maybe the boy fears his own the lack of mercy and just could not press the button again. Lol. or he's like all the rest of the roaches trying to escape before the flames come aaah calling for his house.

Fri, 04/06/2012 - 00:26 | 2321319 kedi
kedi's picture

Unless he is on his way to some other position of useful manipulation of reality, I would not be surprised to hear of him commiting suicide or having heart failure. I'm sure he has a very big whistle he could blow.

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