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British Leaders Suggest Panic Buying Of Gasoline To Avoid Panic Buying Of Gasoline

Tyler Durden's picture


The threat of a gas tanker-driver strike has brought out the best in British political double-speak to calm a fearful nation. Queues Lines are forming at every and any gas station as fears of an Easter-break strike has the blokes back in blighty filling up every and any container they can to stockpile petrol. In response to a panic-worthy statement by Cabinet Minister Francis Maude who said "People should take precautions, just in the way the Government has taken precautions doing some sensible planning," and drivers should keep their tanks at least two-thirds full in anticipation of a shortage, sales of Jerry cans have risen this week. This pre-emptive stockpile-driven panic-buying to avoid real panic-buying should the strike occur spurred some calming words from Energy secretary Ed Davey "I don't think they (drivers) need to queue, I don't think they need to change their behavior very much,". Too late mate! More economically concerning were comments, cited by The Telegraph from the government that "We are under no illusion, the impacts of a tanker strike could be very severe for our economy, could really disrupt the lives of millions of people." As the head of the retail motor industry federation noted "I think the government have mishandled this from the very start" and in the pun-of-the-day, Sky News notes the government "made a crude decision to play politics with petrol without regard for the consequence." When will the Fed's actions finally lift sales of currency-stockpiling wheelbarrows we wonder? Or alternatively, a Toilet Paper run based on the Treasury's relentless "actions"?


The Daily Mail on the mixed messages from the government:


and memories of years gone by - "Don't Panic Mr. Mainwaring":


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Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:00 | 2300189 Dull Which
Dull Which's picture

Leadership, innit?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:07 | 2300259 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Gerry Cans Contraband, bitchezzz!!!

For those willing to thumb their noses at America's CARB laws:

5 gal Gerry cans on sale at British Atlantic for $35


Don't forget to buy at least one of the nozzles and add Sta-Bil.


The Fuel Can Oracle is where you can find everything you ever wanted to know about fuel cans, but were afraid to Google it because the NSA will flag you as a terrorist.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:29 | 2300441 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Blimey, I need to get me some Gerry cans for my petrol.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:33 | 2300481 RallyRoundTheFamily
RallyRoundTheFamily's picture

For those willing to thumb their noses at America's CARB laws

CARB laws = emission laws?  (or no?)

Is it illegal to store some gas?



Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:36 | 2300499 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Ohhh...the Fuel Can Oracle you seek.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:36 | 2300500 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Ohhh...the Fuel Can Oracle you seek.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:17 | 2300668 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

The NSA is monitoring hh's internet activity again... causing the double post...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:17 | 2300671 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

The NSA is monitoring hh's internet activity again... causing the double post...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:52 | 2300819 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



For the record, Americans should never break the law by carrying fuel in these fuel cans, only carry non-potable water in these fuel cans.  Also, for the record, it is my firm belief that NSA employees are underpaid, highly productive, and generally very attractive individuals with great senses of humor.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:53 | 2300833 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



For the record, Americans should never break the law by carrying fuel in these fuel cans, only carry non-potable water in these fuel cans. Also, for the record, it is my firm belief that NSA employees are underpaid, highly productive, and generally very attractive individuals with great senses of humor.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:25 | 2300260 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

well, that's really no different than the aapl philosophy in the states.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:27 | 2300278 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Now when the petrol situation gets out of control in old Blighty, they'll have someone to blame.  "Now let's all remember how we stood shoulder to shoulder against Jerry during the Blitz."

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:45 | 2300531 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

So it MUST be Iran that is making your tanker drivers strike , you see we need to invade them to stop this , but whatever you do don't panic. Preppers sit back ,get a deck chair at the gas , sorry petrol stations and laugh at everyone.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:00 | 2300190 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Actually I don't think it would be a bad idea to stockpile some here in the US. I have a few 5 gallon containers. Not much, but maybe enough to avoid any couple week long clusterfuck.  Of course I wouldn't really recomend this if you don't have a safe place to store it lol.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:12 | 2300227 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

I've saved and filled all my paper milk cartons for a year.  I store them next to my gas water heater.   

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:15 | 2300239 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

All underwater mortgages should follow suit

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:39 | 2300319 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

LOL. Nice.  You'd be surprised how stupid some people are with this stuff however I doubt many of them are on ZH.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:12 | 2300379 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

I think I know where you're going with this...all of your guns and ammo on the other side of the water heater will also go up in flames.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:09 | 2300629 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

and PMs of course

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:16 | 2300243 CPL
CPL's picture

You can buy a mini fuel pump and storage for the garage or shed at Canadian tire.  Otherwise you can call an HVAC guy to come and install a fuel tank on the property to do a proper job of it and make sure you've got 500 gallons on site.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:12 | 2300415 oddjob
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:02 | 2300192 Fox-Scully
Fox-Scully's picture

Does this mean there will be a run on sauerkraut and cauliflower?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:06 | 2300201 Element
Element's picture

So let's say five europe-bound tankers suddenly sink in the Persian Gulf this coming Monday night?

Then another five next Friday night.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 12:00 | 2300854 Bwahaha WAGFDSMB
Bwahaha WAGFDSMB's picture

I don't know.  How many tankers does it take to match Deepwater Horizon?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:04 | 2300202 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It is odd with trillion dollar deficits the USA has never had such a comparative advantage. Thank God we don't have any odd..."foreign entanglements"!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:04 | 2300204 schatzi
schatzi's picture

Yeah, *blush* went panic buying for diesel yesterday. Third gas station lucky. Only a 15 mins wait. Got a full tank now, so bring it on fuckers.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:09 | 2300397 tonyw
tonyw's picture

Filled up my five cars yesterday, so I'm sorted mate.  I prepare prudently, you stock up, he/she hoards criminally.

and along those lines:
I am firm, you are stubborn, he is is pigheaded
I'm a freedom-fighter, you're a rebel, he's a terrorist.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:05 | 2300205 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Panic is the new normal

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:08 | 2300214 Jason T
Jason T's picture

Matt Simmons suggested..when our finished motor gasoline stocks were 78 million ... that if every car in the US.. all 250 million vehicals or so, would wipe out the stocks .. today the stocks are about 59 million barrels.  

If US consumers all fill tank at same time.. all the finished stocks woudl be in our gas tanks... there would be no more gas at the station bitchez.


course he's dead now ..

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:12 | 2300219 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Don't worry, a long overdue market take-down will do the trick.  Bernanke must have been asleep at the wheel.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:10 | 2300225 Red Raspberry
Red Raspberry's picture

Gas is so expensive around me the gas stations are empty, no waiting on all 10 pumps......

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:14 | 2300422 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



That's prolly more a function of the fact that no one is employed.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:26 | 2300456 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

double it and the roads will be empty - wheee!!   Hopefully the cops go broke buying gas too!!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:14 | 2300233 heinrich6666
heinrich6666's picture

Queues Lines


Can I click 'Like' on the above a hundred times?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:14 | 2300234 paulypaul
paulypaul's picture

Don't tell em your name pike!

I have a funnel and hose pipe, so will go and fill up at night when needed.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:16 | 2300240 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

To suggest that the fiat paper dollar can be used as toilet paper I think is an insult to toilet paper.

Worse than waterboarding would be stuffing all the fiat paper dollars up the butts of the people who originated them.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:19 | 2300251 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

The queue forms at the rear.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:17 | 2300245 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:19 | 2300248 Acet
Acet's picture

The funny bit is that the tanker union hasn't even confirmed if they will be going on strike or not and even if they did, they have to give a one week notice.

The whole think is like this enormous example of government shooting themselves on the foot ... with a shotgun ... while simultaneously trying to suicide by self-chocking.

I for one vote for them to post lots of "Keep Calm and Carry On" signs all over the place.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:26 | 2300270 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

I recommend to panic comes to one's mind.
As far as signs go, I prefer that flashing "PANIC" sign from Airplane.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:31 | 2300478 Nikola Tesla
Nikola Tesla's picture

You forgot about the orange in the mouth whilst strangling themselves with electrical cable and finally dressed up as a woman... the Tories love the kinky stuff.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:19 | 2300250 DogSlime
DogSlime's picture

This is damn scary (and fucking ridiculous).  If people are panicking this much at the hint of a strike where the strikers would need to give seven days notification, then what will people be like if/when the shit-hits-the-fan and there's a real crisis?

I had this feeling last summer when the cities were in flames - people are really jumpy and it doesn't seem to take much for the herd to panic.

I don't think we'll cope well when things go really pear-shaped - Martial law and rationing, I guess.

Western societies may be closer to collapse than they appear to be :(

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:27 | 2300277 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Yep... a brave new dystopia beckons....

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:29 | 2300284 pods
pods's picture

Come to North Carolina when snow is mentioned on the news.  You will see just how "in time" our just in time deliveries are.


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:32 | 2300295 Acet
Acet's picture

That's because nobody trusts the politicians in the UK.

It's a bit like the reverse of the "Boy that cried wolf" story - in this spin doctor age, politicians spend most of the time telling us everything is alright and that they have things under control while it usually turns out that it's not so, so by now nobody believes their words of comfort.

Also, it doesn't help that blunders are frequent and nobody really gets punished for them.

When SHTF things are going to be a mess around here.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:20 | 2300253 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Have to deal with Gas vapors and then the gas goes bad over time.  Storing it needs allot of stuff.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:31 | 2300289 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Yes lots of stuff, a vent and stabil.. Sigh, the decline of Western manhood...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:20 | 2300257 fredquimby
fredquimby's picture

"A bit of extra fuel in a Jerry Can" is hardly an invitation to panic-buy.

It is for once, a sensible bit of advice from a Government.


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:41 | 2300327 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

It's none of government's business to advice and consult.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 19:09 | 2302124 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Eat Your Peas !

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:24 | 2300264 Catullus
Catullus's picture

This could really be solved with a spike in prices upward. Interesting rationing device that price mechanism is.

Happens during every hurricane in the US. People queue for fuel who don't really need it because the stations are prevented from "gauging". Idiotic price controls coming to a moronic government planner near you!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 14:14 | 2301298 PrintPressPimpin
PrintPressPimpin's picture

I have about 50 gallons saved up and stablizied so i can run  my saws and motorcycles and or get out of dodge on my inflatable boat in the middle of the night.  I friend of mine came up to me the other day just amazed i was bright enough to store gasoline back when it was 3 bucks a gallon..  I tried to explain to him how it went far beyond saving 1.25 a gallon..  lulz

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:25 | 2300266 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Join me in protesting, comrades!

Strike-through does not work here in the comment section! Only the ELITE posters and T-ZH-PTB have access to this critical tool of satire.

"Queues Lines"

That's funny, Tyler! But only because YOU can use your bourgeois 'strike-through' facility!!

Give the proles the RIGHT TO STRIKE-THROUGH!!!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:41 | 2300315 paulypaul
paulypaul's picture

You have to be a paid special member to use these tools.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:13 | 2300644 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:42 | 2300326 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

What are you talking about?

EDIT: Oh yea, you're right...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:13 | 2300414 i-dog
i-dog's picture

We want strike-through! ... We want strike-through! ... We want strike-through!....

Whadda we want? Strike-through!

When do we want it? Now!!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:15 | 2300649 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

I would never join a cartoon drummer, there Schmuck Raker...

It's a matter of principle...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:25 | 2300267 manhunter
manhunter's picture


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:26 | 2300271 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Anyone remember a few years ago the panic buying of rice?

I was laughing my ass off, people were acting as if the world would never see rice again.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:27 | 2300274 _underscore
_underscore's picture

There were suggestions that the govt. were deliberately 'thick' to take the heat off ongoing scandals surrounding cash-for-dinner-party-access & the pension tax hike in the budget.

Others also suggest it may be useful to top-up the quarterly GDP figures to make it look like we're not in a double-dip recession - apparently the figues will close-run a technical recession, the pre-emptive fuel buying may avoid that.

Personally, panic buying is one of the few pleasures left these days - can't beat that smug  feeling of schadenfreude when you watch your neighbours fret & struggle with some problem/absence or other when they didn't take the right cues. Analysis (I read somewhere or other..) of 'panic buying' & similar social contagions, came to the view it was useful to the individual, though not society as a whole, to practice the selfish-gene approach - can't argue with that.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 09:38 | 2300321 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

"British Leaders Suggest Panic Buying to Avoid Panic Buying Of Gasoline"

"Greece Takes On More Debt To Solve Debt Problem"

"United States Starts Another War To Avoid War"


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:08 | 2300402 i-dog
i-dog's picture

"I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more!"

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:03 | 2300382 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture

The elite looking down like the gods of olympus on the sheeple.

Hey guys this is gonna be some funny shit !!!!!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:06 | 2300394 i-dog
i-dog's picture

I think the most relevant snippet from this whole [planned?] farce is:

"Cobra meeting decides to put the army at the centre of contingency plans"

Watch out for more of these subliminal messages in future...and not only in the UK....

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 17:45 | 2301957 Element
Element's picture

Yeah, that's the latest political gimmick for 'dealing with' political and systemic failures, ... oh, we'll call in the military ... they always get shit done ... just look at Afghanistan ... and soon enough you get military rule by decree.

Then the military will write a 'constitution' and Laws that it think will work-out for the people, and they will supply or vet all 'candidates' to be 'elected'.

The Military becomes the one party state ... welcome to Burma ... I mean ... Yorkshire.

But when the politicians are this low-grade, because the voters are this low grade, then we get the western equivalent of the Taliban, taking over western Govt.

And we are going in this direction because the education system, MSM, Politics, markitz, banksters and statisticians have lied to us so much, that everyone is now more or less ignorant, incompetent and operating on the basis of delusion and hopey-ness.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:07 | 2300398 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

London going to be awesome this summer.

Olympics and Golden Jubilee celebrations.

Trinkets will help revive the economy, just you wait and see.

Either that or Princess Kate will have a 3 way will Wills and Hot Harry and sell the tape.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:13 | 2300419 _underscore
_underscore's picture

That tape's in the can already - just waiting on a real crisis,  like a tiffin shortage, to release it. Fixt.



Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:26 | 2300455 toady
toady's picture

Time to quit and head for the hills?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:44 | 2300528 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

The hills are already occupied.

Get it together were you are.

For example: Do you know your neighbors?

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:49 | 2300545 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Yeah, I know 'em and most of them suck.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:06 | 2300616 cashcow
cashcow's picture

Large percentage of petrol stations in South East of UK now out of fuel.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:11 | 2300631 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

"British Leaders"

Now there's an oxymoron for you...

The British old bag hole, inbred, parasitic Queen worshipping political class are the only ones more worthless than the US political class...

And being more worthless than a bribed, pocket lining, moronic douche bag US politician isn't easy...

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:25 | 2300725 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

This is posturing. They were hoping to create a Strike so they could appearv to be Big Strong Government and have the people love them ! The last time a Cameron type did this was 1974 with Edward Heath who unleashed massive inflation by deregulating credit markets in 1972 and caused 20%+ inflation in Britain. He tried to do the Caudillo Bit and say "Who Runs The Country - Me or the Unions ?" The Voters weren't sure, but it wasn't Edward Heath so he was out.

Cameron is Edward Heath MkII


Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:30 | 2300739 bobola
bobola's picture

I am setting up a 4th bike as a commuter with aero bars up fron and panniers in back.

Replacing the old steel wheels with alloy aluminum  rims from an old bike.

Amazon will deliver the new rear hub and gear cassette in a few days.

New narrow chain replaces the rusted original.

Will be lacing up the new rear wheel this weekend and then test riding / tweaking it all.

Let the gas price rise.

I'm prepared.

In fact I may ride the new/old bike to a local coin shop and buy a few more silver eagles.

Bike Club.   Who's with me ...?????

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 12:22 | 2300916 Laddie
Laddie's picture

For $5 you can pick up Mel Gibson film MAD MAX, extraordinary, only in the USA the baddies won't look like Aussie bikers, otherwise it seems all too prophetic.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 14:41 | 2301390 WakeyWakey
WakeyWakey's picture

Some math for our American cousins.

Cost per litre

Crude Extraction:        8p
Refining:                    2p
Transport to UK:         2p
Transport to pumps:    5p
Fuel Station profit:      22p
Tax @ 70%                98p

TOTAL                      £1.40 per litre or £6.36 per gallon

In Dollars thats $10.12 per gallon.

And we muppets aren't even pushing up the share price of baseball bat manufacturers like you guys are pushing up handgun stocks.

As for this fiasco, the petrol companies reported an 81% increase in petrol sales and 40% increase in Diesel.
Considering the huge level of tax on UK fuel would it not be in the Governments interest to cause a panic and get some last minute cash in before the financial year ends on Saturday ??

Our country is as broke as yours and we can't even buy guns !!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 17:30 | 2301928 i-dog
i-dog's picture

It's not quite that bad ... the US uses smaller gallons than anyone else. So, the actual conversion of your £1.40 per litre comes to $8.43/US gallon.

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