Bruno Iksil Is Dunzo

Tyler Durden's picture

The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps. As for this particular Frenchman, his best epitaph is his Bloomberg profile page. Recall:

"Chuck is french ; champion of 'kick it', walking over water and humble.. yes"

You can now add "fired." Oh, and it is all Egan Jones' fault of course, who downgraded JPM on April 13, while all the other rating agencies were posturing for the highest possible bribe to keep their mouths shut.

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Squishi's picture

Now I finnaly understand true hate!

rajat_bhatia's picture

The Whale Who Sunk The Ship ,

New book deal for Bruno Iksil

B-rock's picture

Dimon called it all a "tempest in a teapot" on April 13.

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

He will mysteriously end up dead from strange causes.

Buck Johnson's picture

No wonder the govt. went crazy after Egan Jones.  They must have figured out something about this or on the periphery months ago.  It wasn't the downgrade of the US per se, it was the downgrade of JP morgan.

Gringo Viejo's picture

Did he adopt a child and name him O.J. ?

Sequitur's picture

Bruno, hello from an old friend.

- John Corzine.

cheesewizz's picture

This is just GREAT!!! Bruno and I can go tanning. Talk about a lucky day....hehe, dont touch me there.

xtop23's picture

Vaporized !!

Tyler(s), queue the deer for Mr. Dimon.

Cdad's picture

Something tells me...that the deer picture will make an appearance tomorrow.

The Swedish Chef's picture

Punctuation is a bitch... WHO owns Tyler?

NotApplicable's picture

LOL, three down votes?

I guess reading comprehension is a bitch too.

rajat_bhatia's picture

All this is crap, the fuckers just want QE3. This is just an excuse.

spartan117's picture

Agreed.  This is all orchestrated.

Even the guys at Citi are calling for a market "collapse".

http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/KWN_DailyWeb/Entries/2012/5/10_St...

Bay of Pigs's picture

My theory? Top of my head,

JPM>short their own stock>crash the ES>QE3 promised by Uncle>flip, go long when tipped by said Uncle>all is well>winner

NotApplicable's picture

"The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps."

Today's Primary Discount Rate: 0.75%

Can a brother get a ZIRP?

earleflorida's picture

ya really dont wanna kill the golden goose with a slingshot loaded with the company's only philosopher's stone, unless of course your belfrey's  filled with batty,... fat-bat-quano!

umm, delicious... zombie food, yum!!

CClarity's picture

Could they all be in al qaeda?  Next salvo?

Gotta say, Iksil sounds Turkish more than French, but never mind.

NotApplicable's picture

Sounds like a variant of Pig-Latin to me.

max2205's picture

Chuck Chuck Bo fuck. Bannanafana fo fuck. Chuck

Problem Is's picture

+1... Cleaning spit up coffee off of keyboard... Still LOL...

ebworthen's picture

Citi will pick him up, or the FED.

bullet's picture

we are about to find out just how untouchable Jamie Dimon is....

slaughterer's picture

Anybody have a picture of Iksil?  I am sure Banzai would do good with it.   

Dr Benway's picture

The champion of kick-it is a man of mystery... The enigmatic water-walker seems to have few pictures.

 

 

But I finally found one!

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/expd/6903755546/

Acorn10012's picture

A little shorter than I was expecting.

Nobody For President's picture

This whole deal - rouge trader, Jamie max mea culpa = made in heaven for Banzai Institute. Go William!

CClarity's picture

Going camping with pal Corzine on a private isle.  No worries.

ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

...probably more untouchable than Senator Jon Corzine ... Team 44 bundler in chief

Seriously .. where is the outrage about MF Global ... that was worse than Bernie Maddoff practically speaking.  Thew fool swho went for Bernie's 'guaranteed' returns got what they wanted ... MF GLobal is a complete outrage slaughtering a lot of innocents

brettd's picture

Lawyer buds say that Holder doesn't even try to prosecute---

cause he and his team simply aren't bright enough.

Witness the epic fail of two recent Justice presentations in front of SCOTUS.

earleflorida's picture

unless he gives up corzine as the first born 

fucking, pure kabuki theatre! 

SemperFord's picture

How can you get fired for doing Gods work??? 

CClarity's picture

That's Blankfein at GS . . . but he'll be weighing in soon enough.

SemperFord's picture

Agreed but I mean bankers in general...Dimon before Blankfein.

earleflorida's picture

being on the wrong side of the nile

carbonmutant's picture

 Did JPM short themselves prior to the news...

Rainman's picture

bet the squid had a tentacle int there...count on it.

bdc63's picture

"Did JPM short themselves prior to the news..."

No, that would be insider trading.  The only people allowed to do that are our congressmen ... good thing Jamie had them all on speed-dial ...

Pairadimes's picture

True, but now, sharting themselves, on the other hand....

TooRichtoCare's picture

only Tyler would manage to somehow get a screenshot of the guy's Bloomberg page header...fucking brilliant.

 

Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now.....their hero just kinda ever so slightly screwed up, dontcha think?

jayman21's picture

Can you say cognitive dissonance?  Assuming I spelled it right.  Oh man, I would love to see a word cloud or something of the minds of the CNBC after this hit the news.

ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

yes .. this is a ZH classic moment .. great screenshot

lewy14's picture

Tyler has many connections to people with Bloomberg terminals. IIRC he had one once himself. Maybe still does.

For all we know, Jerome Kerviel is writing for Zero Hedge. Maybe Bruno will be posting here soon.

AnAnonymous's picture

Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now....

______________________________________________

They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

That is well suited by the way by appearing on a TV screen with you watching and listening so you can figure out what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

Made me laugh.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

Even more funny is that what she and the rest of the sycophants will do is all sponsored by Chinese citizenism.

Funny how Chinese citizenism citizens making big deal of US citizenism as a way of offuscating the creeping spread of Chinese citizenism.

Quite a funny story being sold downthere.

 

Venerability's picture

Tyler,

Any chance this is connected?

http://www.gata.org/node/11348

And shouldn't Gold and Silver be up, up, and UP! on this news?  

(And maybe even the dastardly Euro? Instant solution to the Eurozone crisis!)

 

HarryM's picture

When the world's financial markets lay in ruin and despair - When no hope and trust in broken currencies and IOU's exist  - gold will shine it's brightest.