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Bruno Iksil Is Dunzo

Tyler Durden's picture





 

The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps. As for this particular Frenchman, his best epitaph is his Bloomberg profile page. Recall:

"Chuck is french ; champion of 'kick it', walking over water and humble.. yes"

You can now add "fired." Oh, and it is all Egan Jones' fault of course, who downgraded JPM on April 13, while all the other rating agencies were posturing for the highest possible bribe to keep their mouths shut.

 


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Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:38 | Link to Comment Squishi
Squishi's picture

Now I finnaly understand true hate!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | Link to Comment rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

The Whale Who Sunk The Ship ,

New book deal for Bruno Iksil

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | Link to Comment B-rock
B-rock's picture

Dimon called it all a "tempest in a teapot" on April 13.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:30 | Link to Comment Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

He will mysteriously end up dead from strange causes.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:16 | Link to Comment Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No wonder the govt. went crazy after Egan Jones.  They must have figured out something about this or on the periphery months ago.  It wasn't the downgrade of the US per se, it was the downgrade of JP morgan.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 04:06 | Link to Comment Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Did he adopt a child and name him O.J. ?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | Link to Comment Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Bruno, hello from an old friend.

- John Corzine.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:06 | Link to Comment cheesewizz
cheesewizz's picture

This is just GREAT!!! Bruno and I can go tanning. Talk about a lucky day....hehe, dont touch me there.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:01 | Link to Comment xtop23
xtop23's picture

Vaporized !!

Tyler(s), queue the deer for Mr. Dimon.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:33 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

Something tells me...that the deer picture will make an appearance tomorrow.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:39 | Link to Comment resurger
resurger's picture

You OWN tyler

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:54 | Link to Comment The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Punctuation is a bitch... WHO owns Tyler?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:04 | Link to Comment resurger
resurger's picture

lol

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:37 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL, three down votes?

I guess reading comprehension is a bitch too.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | Link to Comment rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

All this is crap, the fuckers just want QE3. This is just an excuse.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | Link to Comment spartan117
spartan117's picture

Agreed.  This is all orchestrated.

Even the guys at Citi are calling for a market "collapse".

http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/KWN_DailyWeb/Entries/2012/5/10_St...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:49 | Link to Comment Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

My theory? Top of my head,

JPM>short their own stock>crash the ES>QE3 promised by Uncle>flip, go long when tipped by said Uncle>all is well>winner

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:41 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps."

Today's Primary Discount Rate: 0.75%

Can a brother get a ZIRP?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:24 | Link to Comment Nader_Nazemi
Nader_Nazemi's picture

Spot on ! 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:28 | Link to Comment earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

ya really dont wanna kill the golden goose with a slingshot loaded with the company's only philosopher's stone, unless of course your belfrey's  filled with batty,... fat-bat-quano!

umm, delicious... zombie food, yum!!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | Link to Comment CClarity
CClarity's picture

Could they all be in al qaeda?  Next salvo?

Gotta say, Iksil sounds Turkish more than French, but never mind.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:42 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sounds like a variant of Pig-Latin to me.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

Chuck Chuck Bo fuck. Bannanafana fo fuck. Chuck

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | Link to Comment Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1... Cleaning spit up coffee off of keyboard... Still LOL...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Citi will pick him up, or the FED.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | Link to Comment bullet
bullet's picture

we are about to find out just how untouchable Jamie Dimon is....

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:42 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Anybody have a picture of Iksil?  I am sure Banzai would do good with it.   

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:21 | Link to Comment Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

The champion of kick-it is a man of mystery... The enigmatic water-walker seems to have few pictures.

 

 

But I finally found one!

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/expd/6903755546/

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:55 | Link to Comment Acorn10012
Acorn10012's picture

A little shorter than I was expecting.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:37 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

This whole deal - rouge trader, Jamie max mea culpa = made in heaven for Banzai Institute. Go William!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | Link to Comment CClarity
CClarity's picture

Going camping with pal Corzine on a private isle.  No worries.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:18 | Link to Comment ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

...probably more untouchable than Senator Jon Corzine ... Team 44 bundler in chief

Seriously .. where is the outrage about MF Global ... that was worse than Bernie Maddoff practically speaking.  Thew fool swho went for Bernie's 'guaranteed' returns got what they wanted ... MF GLobal is a complete outrage slaughtering a lot of innocents

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:38 | Link to Comment brettd
brettd's picture

Lawyer buds say that Holder doesn't even try to prosecute---

cause he and his team simply aren't bright enough.

Witness the epic fail of two recent Justice presentations in front of SCOTUS.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:33 | Link to Comment earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

unless he gives up corzine as the first born 

fucking, pure kabuki theatre! 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | Link to Comment SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

How can you get fired for doing Gods work??? 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | Link to Comment CClarity
CClarity's picture

That's Blankfein at GS . . . but he'll be weighing in soon enough.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:05 | Link to Comment SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Agreed but I mean bankers in general...Dimon before Blankfein.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:36 | Link to Comment earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

being on the wrong side of the nile

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | Link to Comment carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

 Did JPM short themselves prior to the news...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:51 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

bet the squid had a tentacle int there...count on it.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:09 | Link to Comment bdc63
bdc63's picture

"Did JPM short themselves prior to the news..."

No, that would be insider trading.  The only people allowed to do that are our congressmen ... good thing Jamie had them all on speed-dial ...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:33 | Link to Comment Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

True, but now, sharting themselves, on the other hand....

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | Link to Comment TooRichtoCare
TooRichtoCare's picture

only Tyler would manage to somehow get a screenshot of the guy's Bloomberg page header...fucking brilliant.

 

Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now.....their hero just kinda ever so slightly screwed up, dontcha think?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:59 | Link to Comment jayman21
jayman21's picture

Can you say cognitive dissonance?  Assuming I spelled it right.  Oh man, I would love to see a word cloud or something of the minds of the CNBC after this hit the news.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:21 | Link to Comment ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

yes .. this is a ZH classic moment .. great screenshot

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 01:28 | Link to Comment lewy14
lewy14's picture

Tyler has many connections to people with Bloomberg terminals. IIRC he had one once himself. Maybe still does.

For all we know, Jerome Kerviel is writing for Zero Hedge. Maybe Bruno will be posting here soon.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 02:03 | Link to Comment AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now....

______________________________________________

They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

That is well suited by the way by appearing on a TV screen with you watching and listening so you can figure out what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 05:00 | Link to Comment TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

Made me laugh.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

Even more funny is that what she and the rest of the sycophants will do is all sponsored by Chinese citizenism.

Funny how Chinese citizenism citizens making big deal of US citizenism as a way of offuscating the creeping spread of Chinese citizenism.

Quite a funny story being sold downthere.

 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | Link to Comment Venerability
Venerability's picture

Tyler,

Any chance this is connected?

http://www.gata.org/node/11348

And shouldn't Gold and Silver be up, up, and UP! on this news?  

(And maybe even the dastardly Euro? Instant solution to the Eurozone crisis!)

 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:12 | Link to Comment HarryM
HarryM's picture

When the world's financial markets lay in ruin and despair - When no hope and trust in broken currencies and IOU's exist  - gold will shine it's brightest.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:48 | Link to Comment razorthin
razorthin's picture

This is basically $1Trillion evaporated from the system.  A Lehman-like event.  Futures should be limit down by now.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

Just do the math at 30 to 1 leverage and then take a 20 to 1 reduction in reserve lending they have to take

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:59 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sooo.... is this a 21st Century version of tightening?

Cue the angry old man: "Back in my day, why, they had to sop up liquidity. Today, it just evaporates."

And for yet another cliche: "This is not your father's financial system."

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:35 | Link to Comment rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...perhaps your great grandfather's which included the founder of Morgan....such a long history of phucking the American public.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:40 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

But... but... he "saved" America.

Nevermind that it was him killing it.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

Sad but average traders want to see these guys self implode regardless

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:49 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Yowzaaaaaaaaaaa!  It's Tee Time..............

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | Link to Comment Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture

FLASH ALERT: ALL OF THE MONEY LOST WAS ACTUALLY MF GLOBAL'S CLIENTS' MONEY. MOVE ON! 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:00 | Link to Comment bullet
bullet's picture

priceless....

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | Link to Comment web bot
web bot's picture

and his email address is left there on the screen... on purpose...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:51 | Link to Comment midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

The innocent must pay for this too!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

The Pentagon lost $2 Trillion, for a mere $2 billion, just shake the couch.......

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:04 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

Is this good or bad for markets or are markets good or bad for this?

CNBC says it is only a paper loss.

Maybe they will find the paper. Time to dump your futures contracts.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:43 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Naw. Time to dump CNBC.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:07 | Link to Comment vegas
vegas's picture

Bruno, Tonight would not be a good night to see if you can still walk on water. Don't buy any lottery tickets either.

 

http://vegasxau.blogspot.com

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:13 | Link to Comment bdc63
bdc63's picture

"walk on water" ... what an arrogant fuck ...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:12 | Link to Comment DavidC
DavidC's picture

Another scapegoat for behind the scenes shenanigans?

Either way...

Hooray!!

Now this IS a black swan event.

DavidC

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:19 | Link to Comment zerotohero
zerotohero's picture

another case of a clinically psychopahtic individual in a position that feeds his ego to the point of complete demolition - and he won't even accept that he did anything untoward - beauty eh.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 19:31 | Link to Comment mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Tyler(s)

Give your headline writer a bonus for that one.  Hysterical!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:12 | Link to Comment Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Twitter can change its Fail Whale screen to a picture of Bruno Iksil.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:13 | Link to Comment Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Mr. Bruno bet $2B and Jamie didn't know.  Right.

 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:42 | Link to Comment earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

the big boys are fed up with the greed themselves?

these peon's are making to much noise and fucking things up,period! just ask fuld jr. how bad press can get ya to the poor house or graveyard in a nano-second!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:47 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Just had a thought that it might be hard to walk on water wearing cement boots, Chuck...

And Charles Schwab may have to change its' motto.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 00:19 | Link to Comment streetcrawler
streetcrawler's picture

Can't we just liquidate these fuckers and just give QE3 directly to the people so they can buy gold?

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