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Bruno Iksil Is Dunzo

Tyler Durden's picture


The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps. As for this particular Frenchman, his best epitaph is his Bloomberg profile page. Recall:

"Chuck is french ; champion of 'kick it', walking over water and humble.. yes"

You can now add "fired." Oh, and it is all Egan Jones' fault of course, who downgraded JPM on April 13, while all the other rating agencies were posturing for the highest possible bribe to keep their mouths shut.


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Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:38 | 2414836 Squishi
Squishi's picture

Now I finnaly understand true hate!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2414851 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

The Whale Who Sunk The Ship ,

New book deal for Bruno Iksil

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | 2414876 B-rock
B-rock's picture

Dimon called it all a "tempest in a teapot" on April 13.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:30 | 2415122 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

He will mysteriously end up dead from strange causes.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:16 | 2415553 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No wonder the govt. went crazy after Egan Jones.  They must have figured out something about this or on the periphery months ago.  It wasn't the downgrade of the US per se, it was the downgrade of JP morgan.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 04:06 | 2416442 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Did he adopt a child and name him O.J. ?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | 2414882 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Bruno, hello from an old friend.

- John Corzine.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:06 | 2414979 cheesewizz
cheesewizz's picture

This is just GREAT!!! Bruno and I can go tanning. Talk about a lucky day....hehe, dont touch me there.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:01 | 2414975 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Vaporized !!

Tyler(s), queue the deer for Mr. Dimon.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:33 | 2415631 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Something tells me...that the deer picture will make an appearance tomorrow.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:39 | 2414841 resurger
resurger's picture

You OWN tyler

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:54 | 2414942 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Punctuation is a bitch... WHO owns Tyler?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:04 | 2414998 resurger
resurger's picture


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:37 | 2415165 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL, three down votes?

I guess reading comprehension is a bitch too.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2414842 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

All this is crap, the fuckers just want QE3. This is just an excuse.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | 2414873 spartan117
spartan117's picture

Agreed.  This is all orchestrated.

Even the guys at Citi are calling for a market "collapse".

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:49 | 2414897 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

My theory? Top of my head,

JPM>short their own stock>crash the ES>QE3 promised by Uncle>flip, go long when tipped by said Uncle>all is well>winner

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:41 | 2415179 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"The last time a French trader delivered a bomb this big (Jerome Kerviel), the Fed cut the discount rate by 75 bps."

Today's Primary Discount Rate: 0.75%

Can a brother get a ZIRP?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:24 | 2415097 Nader_Nazemi
Nader_Nazemi's picture

Spot on ! 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:28 | 2415831 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

ya really dont wanna kill the golden goose with a slingshot loaded with the company's only philosopher's stone, unless of course your belfrey's  filled with batty,... fat-bat-quano!

umm, delicious... zombie food, yum!!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2414843 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Could they all be in al qaeda?  Next salvo?

Gotta say, Iksil sounds Turkish more than French, but never mind.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:42 | 2415187 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sounds like a variant of Pig-Latin to me.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2414845 max2205
max2205's picture

Chuck Chuck Bo fuck. Bannanafana fo fuck. Chuck

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2414908 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1... Cleaning spit up coffee off of keyboard... Still LOL...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2414847 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Citi will pick him up, or the FED.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2414852 bullet
bullet's picture

we are about to find out just how untouchable Jamie Dimon is....

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:42 | 2414865 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Anybody have a picture of Iksil?  I am sure Banzai would do good with it.   

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:21 | 2415059 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

The champion of kick-it is a man of mystery... The enigmatic water-walker seems to have few pictures.



But I finally found one!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:55 | 2415246 Acorn10012
Acorn10012's picture

A little shorter than I was expecting.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:37 | 2416171 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

This whole deal - rouge trader, Jamie max mea culpa = made in heaven for Banzai Institute. Go William!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | 2414869 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Going camping with pal Corzine on a private isle.  No worries.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:18 | 2415068 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

...probably more untouchable than Senator Jon Corzine ... Team 44 bundler in chief

Seriously .. where is the outrage about MF Global ... that was worse than Bernie Maddoff practically speaking.  Thew fool swho went for Bernie's 'guaranteed' returns got what they wanted ... MF GLobal is a complete outrage slaughtering a lot of innocents

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:38 | 2415647 brettd
brettd's picture

Lawyer buds say that Holder doesn't even try to prosecute---

cause he and his team simply aren't bright enough.

Witness the epic fail of two recent Justice presentations in front of SCOTUS.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:33 | 2415851 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

unless he gives up corzine as the first born 

fucking, pure kabuki theatre! 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2414857 SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

How can you get fired for doing Gods work??? 

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:45 | 2414875 CClarity
CClarity's picture

That's Blankfein at GS . . . but he'll be weighing in soon enough.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:05 | 2414993 SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Agreed but I mean bankers in general...Dimon before Blankfein.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:36 | 2415860 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

being on the wrong side of the nile

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2414863 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

 Did JPM short themselves prior to the news...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:51 | 2414911 Rainman
Rainman's picture

bet the squid had a tentacle int there...count on it.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:09 | 2415026 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"Did JPM short themselves prior to the news..."

No, that would be insider trading.  The only people allowed to do that are our congressmen ... good thing Jamie had them all on speed-dial ...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:33 | 2415624 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

True, but now, sharting themselves, on the other hand....

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:44 | 2414870 TooRichtoCare
TooRichtoCare's picture

only Tyler would manage to somehow get a screenshot of the guy's Bloomberg page header...fucking brilliant.


Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now.....their hero just kinda ever so slightly screwed up, dontcha think?

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:59 | 2414959 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Can you say cognitive dissonance?  Assuming I spelled it right.  Oh man, I would love to see a word cloud or something of the minds of the CNBC after this hit the news.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:21 | 2415080 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

yes .. this is a ZH classic moment .. great screenshot

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 01:28 | 2416297 lewy14
lewy14's picture

Tyler has many connections to people with Bloomberg terminals. IIRC he had one once himself. Maybe still does.

For all we know, Jerome Kerviel is writing for Zero Hedge. Maybe Bruno will be posting here soon.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 02:03 | 2416355 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Wonder what Maria Bartiromo and all the other sycophants will do now....


They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

That is well suited by the way by appearing on a TV screen with you watching and listening so you can figure out what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 05:00 | 2416462 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


They will do the US citizen thing: monetize your expectation on seeing what she and the rest of the sycophants will do now.

Made me laugh.

In other words, she and the rest of the sycophants will do their jobs: selling you their cheap US citizen propaganda.

Even more funny is that what she and the rest of the sycophants will do is all sponsored by Chinese citizenism.

Funny how Chinese citizenism citizens making big deal of US citizenism as a way of offuscating the creeping spread of Chinese citizenism.

Quite a funny story being sold downthere.


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2414871 Venerability
Venerability's picture


Any chance this is connected?

And shouldn't Gold and Silver be up, up, and UP! on this news?  

(And maybe even the dastardly Euro? Instant solution to the Eurozone crisis!)


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:12 | 2415031 HarryM
HarryM's picture

When the world's financial markets lay in ruin and despair - When no hope and trust in broken currencies and IOU's exist  - gold will shine it's brightest.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:48 | 2414888 razorthin
razorthin's picture

This is basically $1Trillion evaporated from the system.  A Lehman-like event.  Futures should be limit down by now.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2414913 max2205
max2205's picture

Just do the math at 30 to 1 leverage and then take a 20 to 1 reduction in reserve lending they have to take

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:59 | 2414971 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sooo.... is this a 21st Century version of tightening?

Cue the angry old man: "Back in my day, why, they had to sop up liquidity. Today, it just evaporates."

And for yet another cliche: "This is not your father's financial system."

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:35 | 2415145 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...perhaps your great grandfather's which included the founder of Morgan....such a long history of phucking the American public.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:40 | 2415172 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

But... but... he "saved" America.

Nevermind that it was him killing it.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | 2414896 max2205
max2205's picture

Sad but average traders want to see these guys self implode regardless

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:49 | 2414899 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Yowzaaaaaaaaaaa!  It's Tee Time..............

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | 2414900 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:00 | 2414976 bullet
bullet's picture


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:50 | 2414904 web bot
web bot's picture

and his email address is left there on the screen... on purpose...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:51 | 2414919 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

The innocent must pay for this too!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2414929 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

The Pentagon lost $2 Trillion, for a mere $2 billion, just shake the couch.......

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:04 | 2414973 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Is this good or bad for markets or are markets good or bad for this?

CNBC says it is only a paper loss.

Maybe they will find the paper. Time to dump your futures contracts.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:43 | 2416174 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Naw. Time to dump CNBC.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:07 | 2415006 vegas
vegas's picture

Bruno, Tonight would not be a good night to see if you can still walk on water. Don't buy any lottery tickets either.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:13 | 2415044 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"walk on water" ... what an arrogant fuck ...

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:12 | 2415029 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Another scapegoat for behind the scenes shenanigans?

Either way...


Now this IS a black swan event.


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 18:19 | 2415069 zerotohero
zerotohero's picture

another case of a clinically psychopahtic individual in a position that feeds his ego to the point of complete demolition - and he won't even accept that he did anything untoward - beauty eh.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 19:31 | 2415398 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture




Give your headline writer a bonus for that one.  Hysterical!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:12 | 2415535 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Twitter can change its Fail Whale screen to a picture of Bruno Iksil.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:13 | 2415772 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Mr. Bruno bet $2B and Jamie didn't know.  Right.


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:42 | 2415894 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

the big boys are fed up with the greed themselves?

these peon's are making to much noise and fucking things up,period! just ask fuld jr. how bad press can get ya to the poor house or graveyard in a nano-second!

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 23:47 | 2416178 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Just had a thought that it might be hard to walk on water wearing cement boots, Chuck...

And Charles Schwab may have to change its' motto.

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 00:19 | 2416233 streetcrawler
streetcrawler's picture

Can't we just liquidate these fuckers and just give QE3 directly to the people so they can buy gold?

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