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Deus Ex Alpha Centauri: Buy Euros Now As SETI May Have Discovered Aliens

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It just may turn out that Europe's strategic "plan" of kicking the can down the road indefinitely, or at least until aliens can come down and bail out the global central banking cabal - aka the Deus Ex Alpha Centauri plan - may have worked! In a rather curious announcement, the SETI website of UC Berkeley has announced that it has found signals that "look similar to what we think might be produced from an extraterrestrial technology. They are narrow in frequency, much narrower than would be produced by any known astrophysical phenomena, and they drift in frequency with time, as we would expect because of the doppler effect imposed by the relative motion of the transmitter and the receiving radio telescope." And in the off case that said aliens prove to have an atavism to rude European waiters, at least Paul Krugman will be delighted: after all there is nothing better for the economic voodoo shamans out there than intergallactic warfare. Then again, since Keynesianism appears to be a popular universal delusion, we wouldn't be surprised if it is us who ends up having to bailout them...

From SETI at UC Berkeley:

We've started searching our Kepler SETI observations and our analyses have generated some of our first candidate signals. Each of the signals below is shown in a pair of plots, one from an observation of Kepler Object of Interest (KOI) 817 and one from an observation of KOI-812. During an observation, we alternated between targets to enable us to rule out signals seen coming from two different places in the sky. If we see a signal coming from multiple positions on the sky, like the ones below, it is very likely to be interference. The signals below are undoubtedly examples of terrestrial radio frequency interference (RFI).

What do these plots represent?

These are plots of electromagnetic energy as a function of frequency and time. Brighter colors represent more radio energy at a particular time and frequency. For example, a radio station transmitting at 101.5 MHz would produce a large amount of energy near that frequency.

Why are these signals interesting?

These signals look similar to what we think might be produced from an extraterrestrial technology. They are narrow in frequency, much narrower than would be produced by any known astrophysical phenomena, and they drift in frequency with time, as we would expect because of the doppler effect imposed by the relative motion of the transmitter and the receiving radio telescope.

What's next?

These first results are tests of the algorithms we'll apply to all our observations of Kepler planets. During the coming weeks, we'll be posting more of our results as we process the nearly 50 TB of data we collected in early 2011.

 

 

 

Download all 12 candidate signals in a .pdf file.

 

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Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:40 | 2039515 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

All your base are belong to us.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039568 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

I am Nomad. Sterilize imperfection. Sterilize. Sterilize.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:53 | 2039582 ??
??'s picture
Our Winter Funding Drive is On!

Help SETI Today!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:58 | 2039604 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Krugman just tweeted that he's loading up on 5.56, Phaser Proton Canisters & Tin Shielding, and he has urged the Obama Admin to make these items tax deductible purchases via a 'Mars Attacks 2012 National Citizen Defense Act,' as well as lead defense pods and in-home safe rooms (with generators & water purification/atmoshpheric sourcing units).

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:02 | 2039634 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

This explains Mark David Chapman's interest in Jodie Foster... Finally ~ it's all cominmg together...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:15 | 2039663 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

***Breaking News***

Obama Administration to consider Krugman's '2012 Keynesian Uranus Citizenry Defense Omnibus Stimulus Bill' on the news of hostile extraterrestrial threats to invade earth and/or close the Straits of Hormuz, via recently decoded transmissions intercepted using Graco Baby Monitors placed by UC Berkeley Scientists on Deep Space 9 Kraken Station.

 

As an aside, at least one Berkeley scientist is openly endorsing the plurality view that said hostile extraterrestrials may be attemtping to signal Yeti, Nessie & Mothra, in terms of stirring an alliance to help prepare for the landing of their pods having doppelganger technology.

 

Unconfirmed for the time being.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:24 | 2039726 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Wouldn't it be appalling if we get visited by advanced aliens, and find out they're ruled by an elite bankster cabal too?

"Take us to your banker, debt-serf" will be their first words.

"We have come to spread freedom to your planet - and then you will accept the fiat currency of our monetary system, the Xrpkkliklkilkiliklki, and experience growth* to infinity and beyond!"

*nominal growth, natch

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:26 | 2039739 ZackLo
ZackLo's picture

Krugman is definitly behind it....Duh where do you think he got this?

http://www.princeton.edu/~pkrugman/interstellar.pdf

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:57 | 2039883 redpill
redpill's picture

BREAKING NEWS

Princeton, NJ -- Upon potential discovery of alien life, we asked Nobel Prize* winning economist Paul Krugman what he thought about the development.  "Its great," he said, "I just hope they aren't friendly!"  

*Not actually a Nobel Prize but rather a phony award sponsored by the oldest central bank on the planet.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 21:19 | 2041294 fnord88
fnord88's picture

Krugman probably wants to argue with them about barbarous relics...... "no you fucking backward alien, I don't care if you just flew here faster than the speed of light, Gold is for philistines, this paper has inherent value........why? how?..... because I fucking say so....look at my medal....."

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:17 | 2039988 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

If you didn't think Krugman was a nut before reading this paper, then you MUST read it.

If you already thought he was a nut, then you can pass on reading this (unless you feel that your opinion needs some more solidifying fact to back it up)

If the Annunaki really did came here 6000 years ago to create the Sumerians so that the Sumerians could mine Gold for them, then indeed, the Universe must be run by Bankers... Good Christ, we're fucked. 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 18:34 | 2040840 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Wow.  Just wow.  This kind of thing makes it even more likely that Krugman's NWO buddies will give us some kind of alien false flag this year.  The usual lies and distractions are becoming less effective so they will have to go big.  The "Annunaki" will show up and say "Pathetic weak and squabbling humans with no world government: By decree of Lord Cthulhu, you are to give us 10,000 metric tons of gold in exchange for Cthulhu Credits- and our promise not to devour your souls!" Just pray this stunt ends with a Scooby-Doo-style unmasking on the White House lawn.

Most of the real aliens see us as repulsive Vogon/Ferengi hybrids and they wouldn't touch us with a 10-light-year pole.  If we're lucky, maybe alien hippies will shoot down Israel's nukes after Israel pulls the "Samson option" after Ron Paul throws them under the bus.  I am so pulling for this.  "Where is your God now, bitches?"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 23:13 | 2041496 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 19:31 | 2041021 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I've always said that the only thing that will get the bankers and politicians butts out of the fire is a WWIII or Alien contact.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 21:56 | 2041382 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Space signals?   WTF.    Krugman is all the proof I needed that we've already made contact with an alien civilization.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:29 | 2039744 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

When the alien invaders come to grips with the Fractional Reserve Banking Ponzi that's been bleeding the planet for so long, they'll see earth as a total loss, and they'll beam themselves up en masse to get the hell out of here as quickly as extraterrestrial-ly possible.

I suggest engraving the likeness of The Bernank on top of a high altitude plateau, in very large font, as a far more inexpensive method of warding off hostile intergalaxy invaders.

That's equivalent to the univeral signal that "this planet's been harvested already."

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:38 | 2039767 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

"QE ? YOU ARE THE INVADERS ! YOU ERECTED A CENTRAL BANK IN OUR SPACE ! CEASE QE HOSTILITIES ! I WILL BE MERCIFUL -- AND QUICK !"

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pvpWw36jRAI/TuFAcZo2LwI/AAAAAAAAEv0/1mvz5JzmfK...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:47 | 2039830 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Hey, WB7, how about a pastiche of the Pioneer spacecraft plaques?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pioneer_plaque.svg

You could have the man and woman replaced with Greenspan and Bernanke, and a printer in the background spewing out FRNs. The whole thing wouldn't be a greeting from Earth - it would be a warning to all sentient intergalactic beings to keep far, far away.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:27 | 2040232 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...may I modestly suggest that no return address be provided?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:35 | 2039781 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

According to L Ron Hubbard, they are. (Battlefield Earth)

 

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:10 | 2040363 BigJim
BigJim's picture

     ..."Take us to your banker, debt-serf" will be their first words.

 

Should obviously be:

 

    "Take us to your lender!"

Sat, 01/07/2012 - 02:54 | 2041747 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

they could come crying, our ponzi fiat system is about  to colapse, we come in search of a bail out.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:33 | 2039766 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

I think I decoded it guys:

"It puts the lotion on its skin!!!"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:04 | 2039917 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

'Lest it gets the quantitative EZing & ZIRP Hose again.'

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 19:20 | 2040997 Lower Class Elite
Lower Class Elite's picture

Ultraman has got that shit covered.  The Science Patrol will be ready and waiting,

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:20 | 2039712 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Chapman shot Lennon. Hickley obsessed over Jodie Foster and shot Reagan. If you are actually from Earth I would expect you would know that.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZTe4SJnxPc

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:28 | 2039752 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Oh yeah... You're right... it was Hinkley (not his "redneck cousin" HICKLEY)...

There must be some Vulcan mind melding going on here...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:58 | 2040321 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

It's easy to remember that it was Hinckley who shot Reagan. How? Because the Hinckley family and the Bush family were close friends.

http://tomflocco.com/fs/HinckleyAndBush.htm

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:33 | 2039769 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well, looks like finally ET phone home eh?

The meme that is probably the most carefully and masterfully planned since the princeton Radio Experiment's broadcast as live and true the "War of the Worlds". It's been escalating since. And animation has made it all to real. now 3D (Avaater etc.) so we actually felt immersed in/with them.

Now this. Awesome! :-)

ori

My not so alien life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs2V5cRS5Bw

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:48 | 2040289 Drachma
Drachma's picture

I seem to recall the psychological experiment was broadcast out of the Rockefeller building. People, in their hysteria, were shooting at water towers perceiving them as the fictitious 3-legged Martian ships. The mind is a powerful thing.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 18:09 | 2040799 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

He wants to put his finger in a dike and stop the flood of aliens?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:23 | 2039722 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Krugman's got a new book out. It's titled, "To Serve Man."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x0BSgLKnSk

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2040356 akak
akak's picture

His recipes for ribs, and tripe stew, and scrambled brains, and ladyfingers are to die for!

I hear the Keynes lime pie is pretty good, too.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 17:48 | 2040726 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

So no Austrian torte, then?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 18:11 | 2040801 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

No, but I've heard his recipe for overpriced cake is to die for.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:28 | 2039754 Alien Invader
Alien Invader's picture

Oh crap, i've been outed!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 23:17 | 2041504 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"Hey baby, wanna kill all Humans?" -- Bender Bending Rodriguez :>D

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 19:21 | 2041003 mkkby
mkkby's picture

I would suggest sending Bruce Willis up in his nuclear missle ship, but I'd feel safer with aliens around than my current neighbors.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:23 | 2039721 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

great timing, no?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:27 | 2039745 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

Nomad suffered too much damage to its memory banks during its descent into a black hole; as a result, it was operating on an incorrect program, prone to error. 

Best regards,

Jackson Roykirk

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:52 | 2039572 ??
??'s picture

base = gold

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:01 | 2039616 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

Flawless first comment.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:31 | 2039759 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

AN URGENT MESSAGE

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:35 | 2039776 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The penis goes on the shorter one.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:43 | 2039807 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

ALIEN MATTERS

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:09 | 2039958 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Merkel is not that flat chested.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:25 | 2040411 akak
akak's picture

And she's got a camel toe that can be seen .... well, from space.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:36 | 2040252 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Lets get some hanging  meat curtains on Merkel...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:53 | 2040301 honestann
honestann's picture

A new best ever.  Just brilliant.

Which gives me a thought.  What ZH should do at the end of every year is collect the top 10 or 20 of your creations from your collections (based upon thumbs up, probably), and have a happy-banzai edition.i

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:41 | 2039797 doggings
doggings's picture

old news, the alien bailout was announced months ago

http://red-pill.org/intergalactic-bailout-rescue-global-collapse/

this is just the advance party signalling Benny to warm the hueys up 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:46 | 2039827 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

ALIEN MESSAGES

h/t Aristarchan

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:28 | 2040422 akak
akak's picture

"Dave, I have complete confidence in the success of our mission."

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:03 | 2040165 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Sorry to jump to the top - but if you go to the UCB SETI website you'll find that the OP forgot to post this part of the text:

"We know these signals are interference, but look similar to what we think might be produced from an extraterrestrial technology."

These results are merely being viewed as a positive test for their search algorithems.

Bitchez.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 18:09 | 2040795 TheDriver
TheDriver's picture

Yep. They've acknowledged that the source is interference from a satellite but stated that they were not clear in their description of the event.

From http://seti.berkeley.edu/kepler-seti-interference

Update: Friday, January 6, 2012 After posting the plots below on January 5, it became clear that we had not stated as definitively and absolutely as possible that these signals are interference. We have update the post to make this clear. Sorry for any confusion.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 19:36 | 2041025 akak
akak's picture

Oh well --- even if they had been real alien signals, and we were eventually able to decode them, they would probably only have been reruns of "I Love Luzlixitchmnb" and "Bowling for Quatloos" and "Tesseract of Fortune" and "Star Trek: The 34,512th Generation" anyway.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:57 | 2040320 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

Report from Iron Mountain here we come.

http://www.teachpeace.com/Report_from_Iron_Mountain.pdf

there be no sheltr here

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:17 | 2040384 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Don't Blame Me - I Voted for Kodos!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:41 | 2039520 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

ET bailout bitchez!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:06 | 2039659 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

If they are really intelligent they won't buy sovereign bonds.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:27 | 2039747 uno
uno's picture

they may be looking for their cash & PM stolen by MF Global - JPM scam

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:57 | 2039778 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Kraken Centuriun 'Credits' will be the new quid or fin, bitchez.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:41 | 2039521 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Please

Beam me the fuck up.....

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:24 | 2039728 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Sorry, Captain,  the shields are up, we've got an unidentified ship quartering in on us.  We might have to warp out of orbit.  You are on your own.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:29 | 2039755 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

It's the Borg!! We are toast!! Prepare to be assimilated!!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 17:43 | 2040707 Praetor
Praetor's picture

Keynesians are unworthy of assimilation.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2039930 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

STAR HECK [Open Caption Challenge]

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:37 | 2040078 Rodolfito
Rodolfito's picture

Finally, I understand why Star Trek existed in the first place - to draw attention to all that important alien life which now many years later, we all have personal experience of, and, eventually, to distract from the bankster heist of the world's wealth, now in progress. Thanks Gene Roddenberry ... you probably didn't realise any of that, but your owners sure did. Great show, RIP.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 23:33 | 2041536 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

As someone here so eloquently put it:  "It's banking Jim, but NOT as we know it."

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:42 | 2039522 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Meh.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:53 | 2039578 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

I've been meaning to ask, why is the origin of "meh" and what does it mean? Been seeing it here and saw somebody say it on TV the other day.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:59 | 2039610 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

It basically means "whatever" or, for the more scatologically inclined, "who gives a flying fuck?"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:06 | 2039661 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Thanks. Is it regional or is it newspeak like "pwned?"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:58 | 2039887 dugorama
dugorama's picture

er uh, unless you have certain picadillos best not described in a family friendly financial blog site, scatological and f*ck are not related concepts. 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:01 | 2039624 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

May 22nd, 2007. A glorious day...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meh

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:09 | 2039672 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Thanks. Still looking for the origin.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2039931 fuu
Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:11 | 2039963 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

That's it, thanks!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:42 | 2039523 Marge N. Callz
Marge N. Callz's picture

Translation:  "All your base are belong to us."

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:42 | 2039525 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Slow news day?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:46 | 2039543 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Friday not-so-late humor.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:43 | 2039526 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture

 

 

Silly SETI.  

This is nothing more than noise from the fiber optic cable between Pat Robertson and God. 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:59 | 2039614 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Danger, Pat Robertson, danger! Alien space craft approaching!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:15 | 2039694 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

You mean Pat Robertson and the Packer locker room right?  He's been hanging out there a lot lately.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:43 | 2039527 Cranios
Cranios's picture

NONSENSE. This just shows that their funding is threatened so they have to "find something" to keep the pot boiling. Just like Europe!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039566 CvlDobd
Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:29 | 2039756 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I thought their government funding was already eliminated?  Either way, the timing is suspicously convenient.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:43 | 2039531 fuu
fuu's picture

Pretty sure that says "Ron Paul!"

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:44 | 2039533 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

Finally we have someone to bailout the FED and the ECB! 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:44 | 2039535 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Science casts stupid distraction.

It's not very effective.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:55 | 2039592 Drachma
Drachma's picture

And its not real science. Just childhood fantasies for the profane. The alien meme is being put to good use against the weak-minded.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:15 | 2039615 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Scientism, if you will, kinda like technical analysis.

Update: I've been junked! Obviously by an economist or Paul Krugman.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:20 | 2039711 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Australia publishers published some stupid ass story about new life being found in undersea volcano. Which has been known about since 1970's. And they published a story about how using fibre optics to change the color of something so that they could move without being detected was somehow stopping time as it was a "time cloak".

Science is getting really bullshitty these days.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:40 | 2039790 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Hence rendering it not science or at least irrelevant and comic. Kind of like how derivatives tarders have misapplied normal distribution. As their models slowly blow up, the sobering facts will emerge and hilarity will ensue. Also tears, tears will flow from the devastation.

BTW, Australia's a penal colony.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:43 | 2039814 knukles
knukles's picture

A penis colony?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:32 | 2040439 akak
akak's picture

Yes, it has many members.

Sat, 01/07/2012 - 00:14 | 2041604 fnord88
fnord88's picture

Yup, all the uptight religious wackjobs went to the USA, all the people who were not down with the "God, King and country" bullshit came here. Don't worry though, I hear the Iraqi people stand ready to come to America, overthrow the Religious, and set up a secular system. Maybe give you guys some uranium shells too, for your own good of course. 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:42 | 2039805 blu
blu's picture

Please do not use the word "science" to describe what is really performance art. Scientists get enough shit as it is without being linked to random artists.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:03 | 2039912 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Please do not use the word "art" to describe what is really a craft. Art deals in the most relevant human truths as should be clear to everyone by now.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:19 | 2040001 blu
blu's picture

My bad.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:20 | 2040004 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

"By art we conquer by nature we are overcome.

Science used to be called art in ancient greece.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:42 | 2039771 knukles
knukles's picture

This is fucking "it."  "It"has hit the lowest bottom of bottoms possible.  Just when you think that there's nothing, absolutely fucking nothing left to try to rely on, bug, divert, besmirch, narrow the focus, entertain as opposed to inform and possibly work into the Hegelian Dioalectic, along comes the Whopper Signal From Outer Space, Plan 9 Redux extra terrresterial radio signal, not to mention every Goddamned telly program, movie, book, etc., these days has aliens in it, UFOs, etc.
Trying to prep us?
Even the White House Christmas Card has a UFO on it!  Seriously! 
Extraterresterial radio signals.  Whatever.
Jesus. 
Fucking semi-unfounded maybe truth that we are going to make contact, be invaded, just in time to coincide with the Mayan Calendar running out of stone, the Book of Revelations, the great 26.000 year Precession, with a sweet earth crust displacement, polar shift/inversion, Maunder Maximum, and infinte War on Terror, brought to you direct by Project Blue Beam.
No Could Not Be Any Fucking Better, more Timely Than This.
And remember, ancient astronaut theory holds that supposedly Earth was plundered by aliens long ago for the Gold. 
Yes, bullish for Gold.
Fuck me.
Man up, motherf-ers, any of them temporal terresterial defense budget savings now need be applied to the Space Command establishment to be sited in oh, say Buttfuck Idaho, where there is a significant excess capacity of black helicoptetrs, alien and bigfoot sightings, as well as improperly over-armed civilians to be made into a defense force, co-opted into the administration under the guise of protecting Earth.  Give 'em something to do in their spare time.
Yes, and the QofE is a reptile.  Just ask David Icke.
No wonder the NDAA (aka check your Nads) stuff included military detention. Just fucking wait till I begin turning in my neighbors for being shape shifting freebasing alcoholic reptiles from the palnet Zarcon.  He calls himself Zorg, BTW and sounds like he's alien.  No fuckling green card, etiher.
Just anopther coincidence. 
Mark my words, just like the MSM finally not being able to totally ignore RP, the conspiracy, UFO and whatthefuckever sites are going to go batshit.
Just in time for the election year.  And just think... seriously... something that there Will Be a Bi-Partisan Agreement upon, to expand spending, raise taxes, grow the M-I complex, detain the nonbelievers in aliens, sell tin foil hats.....
Jesus H Fucking Christ in an Unidentified Flying Object.
I mean this could not fit better into the NWO, Global Government Meme than anything else!  Just like the speeches by Clinton, Reagan, et al.  One Global Unified Gubamint in response to an alien threat.
Paul Krugman has to be creaming in his pants, he being the only one to both understand Keynesian economics and otherworldly thoughts.

 

Aaaaarragggghhh

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:50 | 2039850 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Bullish for bigfoot-piloted flying saucers.

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2040149 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Poor Shemp, an underrated talent for sure. Just had the misfortune to follow a comic genius.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:01 | 2039906 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

William Cooper, RIP, was on to these peckerheads a long time ago and paid for it with his life.  Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l46n7hEtswg

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:08 | 2039947 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

knukles - thank you for that great outpouring.

Genuine, for real, LOL's here.


Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:41 | 2040090 viahj
viahj's picture

well jeez, every one knows that our planet can not be accepted into the galactic order until our species is united under a single government.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:48 | 2040116 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

A new diversion was needed what with football season being nearly over.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:06 | 2040172 Rodolfito
Rodolfito's picture

Well said ...

'Aaaaarragggghhh' ... did you make Buffy the Vampire Slayer? (another great mind-control program)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MutantEnemy.jpg

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:34 | 2040250 Drachma
Drachma's picture

BINGO! Give that man his prize.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:45 | 2040509 Sunshine n Lollipops
Sunshine n Lollipops's picture

Speaking of art, that rant was a work of it, knuks. Funny you should mention Buttfuck, Idaho, which is also a penis colony. Hence the name.

Sat, 01/07/2012 - 12:57 | 2042178 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

You forgot the oily man splash in malaysia. I guess you need to watch a couple hundred hours of sci-fi tv to be affected by that one.

I was watching some of the crazy Youtube videos and there's commenters saying things like the air force is waging war against aliens over the arctic circle. Straight plot pull from ending of stargate series. Everything in there had a scifi show plot element in it.

All to distract us from the simple fact that all our problems are right here. Of course there is some support from the ghost region to make it work but everything is right in front of our face.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:43 | 2039816 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The alien meme is being put to good use against the weak-minded.

Really?  Aliens?  Wow.  Cool !

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:45 | 2039542 seek
seek's picture

As someone who plays with digital radio modes and sees graphs like these in real time almost every day, the center pics gave me chills. Those look an awful lot like modulation sidebands.

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:50 | 2039565 Bloodgroove
Bloodgroove's picture

And that means...what exactly?

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:41 | 2039802 Bonesetter Brown
Bonesetter Brown's picture

It means it looks man-made.  AM, FM, and all our cellular signals for example have modulation sidebands.

But if I'm reading the charts correctly, it looks like these signals are moving towards us, not away from us (the signal is moving higher in frequency over time).

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:43 | 2039815 blu
blu's picture

Just what you would expect if the alien ships are approaching us.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2040064 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Maybe that's because that's what they want us to think.

[Dramatic music dub]

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 15:07 | 2040179 Instant Wealth
Instant Wealth's picture

... right, the Doppler effect - just imagine a good oldfashioned Ju 87 Stuka in a dive-attack.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 19:19 | 2040996 mkkby
mkkby's picture

We need someone to deduce their speed based on the phase shift.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039573 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

+1

Though that frequency band is used by all kinds of stuff, from cellular phones to digital radios of various types, so it probably is terrestrial interference of some type.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:09 | 2039632 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

[EDIT] That "Frequency Band" is expressly omitted from use by governments for SETI. So if it is terrerstrial in nature it's a harmonic, or a device gone wrong.[EDIT]

Huh, you're right, I'm looking at an old NTIA freuqncy allocation chart and it says 1468MHz is for land mobile use lol.

Maybe they have different allocations where they were listening from. And they're pointed into space.

 

http://www.ntia.doc.gov/files/ntia/publications/2003-allochrt.pdf 

 

I think 1400~ MHz is chosen because that's the resonance of ionized hydrogen, since that's the most abundant molecule in the universe eggheads figure another intelligent lifeform would use that same frequency to contact each other on. Does that sound about right?

 

I've also found out why they like 1400MHz:

http://www.astro.wisc.edu/~townsend/static.php?ref=diploma-12

 

THE MOAR YOU KNOW!

 

 

 

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:18 | 2039700 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

I've seen this movie before....it's Nazi television broadcasts from the 1930's making their way back to earth.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1992130789606468647

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:04 | 2040297 Instant Wealth
Instant Wealth's picture

This is simple: it's Adolf commanding "Operation Walhalla" from his Horten Death Star.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039574 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

The center picks look an awful lot like the price action in UniCredit over the last 3 days

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:56 | 2039594 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Maybe it's an extraterrestrial stock picker algorithm!  If only we can decode it to decipher when BAC will finally get this over with and bite the bullet...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:03 | 2039841 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

Agreed.  Strange though - looks like AM: a carrier and two sidebands modulated by a single tone or at least something narrow and offset quite a bit as we'd see in speech or more likely music, centered within a few audio octaves as it appears.

But AM at 1.4GHz?  Not intentionally, I'd say. 

AM modulated ATV? 

Someone's beacon gone FUBAR?

Then it might be that "doppler drift" is just simple oscillator drift multiplied through the harmonics of unintended mixing products a la 175/350/700/1400 etc.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:50 | 2039848 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Those look an awful lot like modulation sidebands.

 

Because they are.  The SETI article says that these are local RFI. 

Umm...Tyler?  Did you read the first few lines of that article?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2039935 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

No, these are signals potentially from their candidate objects although I am also a radio ham and thnk they are terrestrial signals say, for shits and giggles, from a malfunctioning transmitter, a beacon, a wifi router with too much coke spilled on it, a microwave on the blitz, or maybe some top secret military technology reminiscent of the old Russian Woodpecker.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2040038 MaggieL
MaggieL's picture

The signals below are undoubtedly examples of terrestrial radio frequency interference (RFI).

 

Jeez. Slow Friday?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:12 | 2039970 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

Looking at the pdf download of KOIs 812 and 817, you can clearly see mulitple sidebands that are not so visible in the article's inline grabs.  These look to me more like poorly filtered FM sidebands, so I'm going with a transmitter gone haywire or some new dot-mil effort like the old Russian Woodpecker or even the PAVE PAWS giving 440 secondary users such headaches lately.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 16:08 | 2040353 Bonesetter Brown
Bonesetter Brown's picture

Exactly.  Moving a few hundred Hertz in a couple of minutes? Looks like oscillator drift.  And how many objects in the galaxy are moving towards us?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:47 | 2039547 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

Q: "But,,,How Will You Talk to the Martians? Maybe they haven’t got mouths!"

A: " Simple! After the third bottle of Scotch they speak very recognizable English…"

http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2007/12/19/how-will-you-talk-to-the-marti...

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:47 | 2039551 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Wonder if these aliens got gold.  Otherwise they will be murdered secretly by TBTB.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:50 | 2039562 fuu
fuu's picture

I wonder if they have a CB.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:55 | 2039588 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Mercy, mercy pigpen, you wanna back on off another 5?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:59 | 2039618 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

I wonder if they know that the Dollar is the inter-planetary reserve currency.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:02 | 2039635 fuu
fuu's picture

Do you think they recognize Isreal?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:13 | 2039688 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

Klaatu barada nikto, bubala.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:26 | 2039742 fuu
fuu's picture

<golf clap>

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 14:19 | 2040000 Reprobate
Reprobate's picture

bonga bonga

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:24 | 2039725 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

If the rothchilds are allowed to set up a central bank on their home planet they are allys. If not they are terrorists and "rogue" states.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:55 | 2039593 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

According to renowned astronomer John Lewis, University of Arizona professor emeritus and author of the now classic Mining the Sky, the amount of money floating up there may exceed $100 billion for each person currently living on Earth, and experts believe the time will soon arrive for the harvest to begin

http://business.highbeam.com/137462/article-1G1-256703568/gold-rush-within-our-lifetime-space-experts-say-humans

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:50 | 2039563 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

I for one welcome our Alpha Centauri overlords.  Feel free to do your initial testing on the Bernank and his Bilderberg compatriots.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039567 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

The lizard people are gonna fukkin roast us after they find out what we did to their planet.

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:51 | 2039570 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Sorry, OT

USS Kidd just rescued 13 Iranians from Somali Pirates

USS Stennis even lent a hand

http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/06/10005159-despite-tensions-us-rescues-13-iranian-seamen-from-pirates

Score +1 for the good guys!!!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:58 | 2039607 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Somali pirates are getting desperate.  Did you see that shitty ass ship they hijacked?

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 13:04 | 2039652 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Are you bitches seriously gossiping about Somali pirates again?

MSNBC... that's cute...

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