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Cain Statement Live

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Update: Cain out.

Who says ZH humor should be confined only to Fridays. Here is the math major about to either end his campaign or double down.

 

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Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:34 | 1941741 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Who gives a rat's ass?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:37 | 1941756 jumblies
jumblies's picture

>Who gives a rat's ass?

the rat. other than that nobody

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:44 | 1941777 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Herman Cain's Bad Lip Reading

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:52 | 1941811 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Pizza man mafia.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:58 | 1941839 redpill
redpill's picture

Cain never wanted to be in real contention, he sure as hell didn't want to be President. He was supposed to be a sideshow that got some face time so he could then charge more for his motivational speaking... I don't think he expected to get far along enough that they'd start trotting out the ladies.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:04 | 1941864 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

He could have gotten a lot more mileage by having sex with a homosexual Marine combat Vet. The media could have gotten behind that one.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:18 | 1941923 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

sex with a homosexual Marine combat Vet.

you mean in addition to the two other fruitcakes to his right?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 22:32 | 1942843 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

Bawney Fwank wood wike to have a word wif you, Mista Cain . . .

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 23:57 | 1943046 Mauibrad
Mauibrad's picture

Good, not they can cut off the premature Secret Service and save the taxpayer money that Cain was gratuitously wasting.  Oh, and, FU Fed.  FU you too Koch Brothers.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:01 | 1941849 Rhone_Ranger
Rhone_Ranger's picture

You gotta give him props on quoting the Pokemon Movie in refering to his life.  Not enough candidates have the balls to quote the wisdom of Pokemon?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:05 | 1942069 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

OK I'll give him some props.

Said my niggaz don't dance we just pull up our pants
And do the rockaway, now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back
Come on
I said my niggaz don't dance we just pull up our pants
And do the rockaway, now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back

Now what did that fucking whore Bachmann do? Molest one of her adoptees with a pealed banana?

Next!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:03 | 1941859 e2thex
e2thex's picture

"Pokemon gives rat's ass."- Cain

Decemburr 2011

 

He quoted Pokemon. Not Jefferson or Burke or Tocqueville. Pokemon.

WTF

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:49 | 1941801 Tater Salad
Tater Salad's picture

"who gives a rat's ass?"

Why the Niggars (in the White House) do of course:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtqqMchhUkw

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:04 | 1942067 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the big banks. If you don't have a job and you are not rich, blame yourself!
Herman Cain

ergo, if you ain't POTUS, blame yourself and that dick you couldn't keep in your pants

 

quote courtesy:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/herman_cain.html

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:35 | 1941747 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT?!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:37 | 1941755 malalingua
malalingua's picture

They're in the podium.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:04 | 1941784 Manthong
Manthong's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR0PM3xjc6M

 

-Just doong what I can to add to the levity that is our ridiculous political environment.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:09 | 1941889 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Not behind "Handy Herman". Does he even know that white is not a color?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:42 | 1942004 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

AM - white is actually the presence of all colors - black is not a color, it is the absence of all colors. There - fixed it fer ya.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:54 | 1941822 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

Just call him Jon "Fif" Corzine.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:36 | 1941754 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Sweet Dick Willy. Life imitating art.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:50 | 1941803 Rhone_Ranger
Rhone_Ranger's picture

Will he reveal the recipe to the secret sauce?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:06 | 1942071 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

ummmmmmmmm,

no!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:38 | 1941759 IEVI
IEVI's picture

did he just say kagillion...  a presidential canidate... kagillion...really??

America really is an idiocracy

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:40 | 1941767 Ancona
Ancona's picture

What's wrong with that? After all, everyone knows a kagillion comes immediately after eleventy million.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:41 | 1941773 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Kagillion is the new amount on the FRN.  He did work for the Fed after all.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:48 | 1941792 iinthesky
iinthesky's picture

No it doesn't.. it immediatly precedes a gazillion

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:54 | 1941819 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

How much longer until we get to bazillion? The kids are growing impatient.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:08 | 1942075 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

kAGILLION comes after eleventy BILLION.

Hello?

What are you an auditor for MF Global?

Doesn't anybody know how to count anymore?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:38 | 1941762 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture

 

 

Herman Cain vs Pussy: 0 : 1

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:12 | 1942088 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

How would you like a nice thick pepperoni baby!?

http://www.godfathers.com

The pizzaman can deliver.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:23 | 1942502 ParaZite
ParaZite's picture

Mr Cain has been known to give bitches some extra meat. 

Bitches love extra meat. 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:39 | 1941765 rbg81
rbg81's picture

I kinda feel bad for the guy.  Probably wouldn't have gotten the nomination anyway, but the MSM and Liberal political establishment went after him with both barrels.  In their minds, Cain committed the double sin of being a black man who was 1) not beholden to them and 2) conservative.  Clinton had a far worse history with womanizing (including possibly rape) and it was all swept under the rug. 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:50 | 1941806 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

I didn't junk you for being enslaved to the left/right imaginary divide. I did, however, junk you for feeling bad for a Federal Reserve Corporation shill.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:53 | 1941818 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

I junked him for feeling bad for a complete moron.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:15 | 1942101 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

I junked him for not seeing value in womanizing or raping. He'll never get a chance to lick Goldman's Sach that's for sure.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:14 | 1941904 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

We can't afford the luxury of compassion toward the Fed shills. Grab your pitchforks!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:14 | 1942098 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

There are no innocents. May the blood of the tyrants and their supporters, whether active or passive, flow freely.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:53 | 1941817 grey7beard
grey7beard's picture

>> and Liberal political establishment

You don't think this was an inside job?  I think right now it's Repubs fighting Repubs.  I'm pretty sure Cain's enemies were around his campfire.  That the way the game is played. 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:36 | 1941984 rbg81
rbg81's picture

If it was an inside job, the liberal MSM sure aided and abetted it.  Especially MSNBC and CBS, which were clearly gunning for Cain.  I think the Left was afraid that Cain might peel too much of the Black vote away from Obama.  The other thing is that whoever is nominated has to have the tacit "approval" of the MSM.  If one of the chosen candidates isn't annoited by them, there is always Hell to pay.

Currently, it looks like the plan is to nominate Gingrich so he can get trashed in the GE.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 17:09 | 1942224 tyler
tyler's picture

It's funny how you guys always act like you know everything about msnbc but I'd be willing to bet a silver eagle you've probably watched less than thirty minutes of it your entire life.  They did go after Cain, he deserved it.  Your argument doesn't come close to holding water because if a democrat running for president and was leading in the polls had women come out and claim what they did about cain, fox news wouldn't shut up about.  Reason #99 you guys are the biggest hypocrites on the planet.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:51 | 1942035 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Here's who Herman Cain really is...a theif.

http://motherjones.com/politics/2011/05/herman-cain-aquila-lawsuit-2012

Cain served on the board of directors throughout Aquila's ill-fated trading misadventure and the subsequent collapse of the company's retirement fund. In fact, he chaired the board's compensation committee, which, according to the lawsuit, had direct oversight of the push to get employees to invest more and more in Aquila stock. As chair of the compensation committee, Cain also saw fit to dole out $30 million in bonuses, not including stock options, to the top five execs at Aquila in 2002, with the company's stock plummeting. A month after the Kansas City Star reported on the hefty bonuses in July 2002, the company laid off 500 employees, and the losses to employees holding company stock had reached hundreds of millions of dollars.

As a board member, Cain would've had direct knowledge of Aquila's activities, says Fred Taylor Isquith, a New York attorney who litigated the employee class action. Asked if it was fair to place blame on Cain for the debacle at Aquila, Isquith replied, "Yes, I believe it is."

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:12 | 1942090 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

He's a washington lobbyist (national restaurant ass) who tripped over his own dick.

He didn't need anybody to sabotage his campaign, all he needed was somebody showing what he himself did.

You will be known by your deeds. Isn't the Republican Credo based on

Responsibility for your own actions.

The importance of family as the basic moral unit of society.

Live by pseudo political moral platform, die by it.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 17:21 | 1942253 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Very well said...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 17:18 | 1942243 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Morality impacting a presidentail campaign.  How 20th century!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:40 | 1941768 e2thex
e2thex's picture

I know where Libya is. Jus' ask me agin'.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:41 | 1941772 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

It's UNPROVED that Herman Cain knows how to speak English.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:51 | 1941808 navy62802
navy62802's picture

The unproved allegations against me have been spinned in the media.

You can't make this stuff up.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:17 | 1941882 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Shouldn't somebody have proofread that shit before he went out there and read it? I guess not...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 17:45 | 1942070 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Somebody did proofreaded that shiznit...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:43 | 1941775 Nozza
Nozza's picture

Oooh suspending it lol

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:43 | 1941778 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Oh his campaign is only "suspended" so he'll start it right back up again after he figures out how many more women are going to come out and accuse him.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:47 | 1941779 blabam
blabam's picture

Mc Hammer helps break it down for us: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx723-n1wPA

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:45 | 1941781 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Cain is a piece of shit. 

Talks about how he accepts responsibility for his actions followed by blaming the media for his problems.

Cain...you were fuckin' that bitch behind your wifes back and we all know it. 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:11 | 1942086 Blano
Blano's picture

I just figured it was all BS until this last one.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:39 | 1942539 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

Bobby you deserve president like that!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:45 | 1941785 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I think he quotes his Grandma in every speech.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:52 | 1941812 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

...and apparently Pokemon too.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:16 | 1942105 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

The irony is Pokemon, is japanese for Pocket Monster, which is apparently what he was trying to show anyone who had a vagina.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:46 | 1941787 steelrules
steelrules's picture

He's was a Fkn banker he's getting what deserves.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:05 | 1941871 DarkestPhoenix
DarkestPhoenix's picture

A multi-million dollar bonus for resigning?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:27 | 1942126 Carlyle Groupie
Carlyle Groupie's picture

"He's was a Fkn banker he's getting what deserves."

Yet not able to see the value in BUYING silence. A dummy.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:46 | 1941788 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

It sounds like the audience is made up of five people.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:18 | 1942112 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

The audience was small.

It was mostly just women he had slept with this week and some illegitimate children still hoping for some financial support.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:46 | 1941790 spacecadet
spacecadet's picture

One down two to go. Ron Paul /2012

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:49 | 1941802 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

2 1/3   The media still treats Parry like he's got a chance.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 17:23 | 1942259 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I see Colbert's Super PAC did have some effect after all...

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 02:00 | 1943280 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

What,  you don't want to count Rick Santorum, Michelle Bachmann & John what's-his-diplomat?  :>D

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:48 | 1941795 SIOP
SIOP's picture

That secret service agent behind him looks cool, loose fitting jacket to hide the hardware. :)

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:05 | 1941873 infinity8
infinity8's picture

I had 2 secret service guys come in to my place of business many years ago because we were on the same block as the place where Bill Clinton was doing a lunch - they were going in everywhere. They were very cool James Bond-like with curly wires coming out of their ears. No way anyone would want to fuck with these guys. I was impressed.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:48 | 1941798 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

these unproothed accusashun­s spinned in the media...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:40 | 1941995 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

i's got a degree in mat..........

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:50 | 1941805 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I thought he was a Geography major, i.e. "Let's see, now which one is Libya...?"

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 18:40 | 1942412 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

No it was gynocology, like Ron Paul. "Let's see, now which one is Labia."

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 02:01 | 1943281 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Such a naughty grl! :>D

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:53 | 1941814 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

Excellent more time can not be allotted to Ron Paul in the debates. Looking forward to Santorum and Bachmann exiting stage left. Interestingly it looks like Ron Paul will opt out of the upcoming debate in late December when Trump was chosen as the moderator. 

http://www.dailypaul.com/190297/ron-paul-campaign-rejects-trump-iowa-debate

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:56 | 1941829 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Doubtful. I think you're giving the media too much credit.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:06 | 1941875 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Thanks for the link JM.

“The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching is beneath the office of the Presidency and flies in the face of that office’s history and dignity. Mr. Trump’s participation as moderator will distract from questions and answers concerning important issues such as the national economy, crushing federal government debt, the role of the federal government, foreign policy, and the like. To be sure, Mr. Trump’s participation will contribute to an unwanted circus-like atmosphere."       - DailyPaul.com

Unfortunately, these days Intelligent + Principled = Unelectable.

Trump will end up as the front-runner following the debate. [sigh]

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:54 | 1942041 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

Paul's ethically right to abstain, but perhaps strategically wrong. It'll surely be the most-watched of the debates, a chance to reach people who don't normally tune in. Maybe he should have held his fire and looked for a chance to unleash it on the Donald in person, at the debate. "This evening is an example of much of what is wrong with this country. Here's a man who is not part of the media, not the head of a policy institute or anything else, and we're here because he's made a lot of money in this system, and is a TV personality. Why am I here? Because people who don't normally watch these debates are watching now, and they need to hear the truth, not six slightly different versions of the same fantasy."

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:13 | 1942092 navy62802
navy62802's picture

I think Romney has also declined to participate in the debate.

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 02:03 | 1943282 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

There's a brillant future ahead of you in speech-writing! :>D

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:08 | 1941884 infinity8
infinity8's picture

Fucking Trump !?! I hadn't heard that. . what a fucking circus!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:22 | 1941929 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

It really has turned into a flat-out joke!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:33 | 1941973 infinity8
infinity8's picture

Ok, the 27th - Tuesday after xmas. We gotta have a live feed and drinking game for this charade. Hope I get lots of booze for xmas.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:38 | 1942536 optimator
optimator's picture

Guess which debate will be held with out Dr. Paul.  That's one way to really silence the guy.  They must live in fear of him even sniffing the Presidency!

 http://reason.com/blog/2011/12/01/republican-jewish-coalition-bars-ron-pau

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 03:13 | 1943374 Bob
Bob's picture

Their rationale:

"As Americans who are committed to a strong and vigorous foreign policy, we are deeply concerned about the prospective presidential campaign of Congressman Ron Paul. While Rep. Paul plans to run as a Republican, his views and past record place him far outside of the Republican mainstream. His candidacy, as we've seen in his past presidential campaigns, will appeal to a very narrow constituency in the U.S. electorate. Throughout his public service, Paul has espoused a dangerous isolationist vision for the U.S. and our role in the world. He has been a virulent and harsh critic of Israel during his tenure in Congress*. Most recently Paul gave an interview in which he voiced his objection to the recent killing of Osama Bin Laden.

Brooks added, "We certainly respect Congressman Paul's right to run, but we strongly reject his misguided and extreme views, which are not representative of the Republican Party."

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:54 | 1941821 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Apparently there was a mountain high enough....

....a valley low enough.....

.....a river wide enough.....

....to keep Cain from getting the nomination.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 20:40 | 1942656 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

... And an incumbent Black president in the white house who has absolutely No desire to split the black vote with another brother.
None.

Remember the "Obama's money! From his stash" comment from one of his constituents who erred in thinking O would pay all her bills"?

O will play the blackness when absolutely convenient.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:56 | 1941830 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture

Seriously...can the collapse of human industrial civilization happen already.....BORING!!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:57 | 1941834 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

All i heard was ....Balbbbloop yo shittt mannn, white biaatches, kagillion dolla's, O'royomamma is ruininng the U S of A, fuck you mothafuckas in the media, I am to pump my white bitches as much as I want now! Goodbye

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:16 | 1941914 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Good grief lol, It is no wonder that no new blood will run for office in this country anymore. Who the fuck would be willing to eat this kind of shit sandwhich? 

So fuck you mothafuckas, I am going back to fuckin my biaatches now...........

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:21 | 1942118 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

It is not someone's fault if they succeeded, it is someone's fault if they failed.
Herman Cain

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:57 | 1941835 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Sorry Herman, bad timing. It will probably take one or two more election cycles before we forget what happened the last time we elected a known womanizer/harasser(cough Clinton cough).

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:09 | 1942078 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

someone junked you. They think a person who has so little self-control that they have to fuck someone they're not married to, then lie about it, repeatedly, is just as likely - all other things being equal - of being as solid as anyone else, and no more likely to fuck the taxpayer. They forget or don't care that this kind of thing makes politicians vulnerable to blackmail, and foreign powers love to set honey pots. There are plenty of competent people in this country, we don't need the special talents of womanizers to get by.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 18:47 | 1942425 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You are so right. If he had an affair, and he and his wife have processed it and decided to stay married, and it comes up in public later, that is one thing. He is clearly out of control psychologically, fooling no one but himself that he is somehow okay or fit to serve in any capacity at, well anything. I don't want him for dog catcher.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 21:05 | 1942684 i-dog
i-dog's picture

 

"I don't want him for dog catcher"

The dogs certainly don't!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 23:14 | 1942923 Hard Assets
Hard Assets's picture

Glad he's gone.

Take your sunglasses off when you talk to people you stupid fuck !

I'm actually fucking embarrassed for the country.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 14:58 | 1941837 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I did NOT have sex with THOSE women...

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:31 | 1941964 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Nor those!

Nope not them either.

Definately not her.

Nope, not her.  I just paid her rent for the last decade because she is my [cough] friend [cough].

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:06 | 1942073 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

Well he's been lying to his wife for 13 years so at least he's got that going for him.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:01 | 1941850 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

He should have closed with  some Rage Against the Machine.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:03 | 1941863 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

"After much hole - uhh - soul - searching I've decided to suspend my presidential campaign."

Herman's "Cane" got him into trouble and now he is not "Able" to run. Lordy, lordy pass me a forty!

 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:06 | 1941879 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture

Looks like the brother in the back ground is about to cap someone

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:07 | 1941881 Heroic Couplet
Heroic Couplet's picture

Kudos to the Democrat and Move On operatives who put this Koch Brothers turkey into the deep freeze. Republicans can't say tax cuts create US jobs. There's nothing Rupert Murdoch, Roger Ailes, or Rush Limbaugh can do about it.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:09 | 1941890 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

Been waiting for the right moment to release this puppy. Sung to the tune of "The Candyman:"

"The Pizza Man"

Herman and some bimbo

Are always in the news

“Harass” is only one word

But he thought it was two

The Pizza Man, Oh The Pizza Man Cain

The Pizza Man Cain dishes out the love

and makes the girls feel good

 

Now he’s on a talk show, he says that it’s a lie

Koch Brothers told me just to say “Nine Nine Nine”

The Pizza Man, Oh The Pizza Man Cain

The Pizza Man Cain dishes out the love

and makes the girls feel good

 

The Pizza Man seems half-baked

with every claim he makes

He kept the pepperoni in his britches

When you order the pizza of your wishes

You can even hold the saugsage

 

On the news tomorrow, they’ll be serving up more “cheese”

He’ll be back on Fox to keep the Tea Party appeased

The Pizza Man, Oh The Pizza Man Cain

The Pizza Man Cain dishes out the love

And makes the girls feel good

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:15 | 1941911 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Paul was right yet again.

Little Girl Fights Selfish Fox/CNN reporters for interview with Ron Paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRJ8J-BgKWo

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:12 | 1942089 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

awesome!

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:17 | 1941919 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

I have a plan....it's the 9-9-9 plan.

I plan to screw 999 women behind my wife's back.

Arrogant, meglomaniacal, psychopathic prick.  Was sick of his shit a long time ago when his talk show came on in the evenings on the local AM talk radio station.   Not that I disagreed with a lot of what he stood for, in principle.  But just knew, after being around enough arrogant pricks, what kind of human being this shit-head was.  Plus, google his columns, particularly the ones he wrote right before the 2007 crisis and during the 2008-2009 phase.  All the economic data showing the economy was doing a Titanic and he always and only used the Boogy-Man strategy of blaming the Main Stream Media of talking the economy down.  Then when it did blow up, he gave Bush and Paulson a pass on stealing from the public to bail out the banks, not to mention the criminal activity Bernanke was doing over at the Fed.

He is simply just another psychopathic, egomaniacal captain of industry, tool of the bankers.  And a stain on true conservatism and libertarianism.

Glad you're gone, fucktard.  You deserve it.  And your wife deserves half and the house.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:18 | 1941921 MarketWatchTerrorist
MarketWatchTerrorist's picture

Candidates are not protected by the secret service. Having met political candidates I can say that their security is generally absolute shit.

Obama's dog has infinitely better security than the average Republican in the race for the nomination right now.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:31 | 1941966 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

There are 999 bitchez waiting to come out. He definitely woda lost the Bitchez vote.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:38 | 1941967 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture

 

 

What did this schmuck say again?

"If you're poor, it is your own fault".

Cain, now piss off. We WILL forget you.

 

 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:03 | 1942063 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

If you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself."

Well...start blaming your own damn self, Cain, for you not having a job.....your wife will take care of the rich part.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:40 | 1941993 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Stay tuned - the big guy is going to announce that the rumors that he used to masturbate into Godfather's Pizza special sauce are unfounded and untrue, and that those curly little hairs that sometimes appear in the sauce are not his.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:41 | 1942534 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Well, then, who do they belong to, Clarence Thomas?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:56 | 1942050 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture

this country is an effing joke! and the fact that 99.9% of the people beleive this shit is even more of a joke....

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 15:56 | 1942051 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

9-9-9 Plan = VAT. Too European for my likings. As far as his mistakes in life, we have all made them in different contexts. This is just another example of progressive MSM forming your opinion thru character assassination. In the not too distant future, the fifth columnist will be crying foul play. Why? Their public life will be hanging out for peasantry exposure. Think RT Obama birdie. Cleansing what is right or wrong thru central planning in a Democracy environment is going to have an interesting storybook ending. :)

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:16 | 1942103 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

if the goog says you're guilty then you're guilty

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:38 | 1942150 Barnaby
Barnaby's picture

9/9/9: The day the first sexual harassment suit was filed against Cain, right? The one where he (allegedly) tried to administer The Shocker?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 16:36 | 1942142 Barnaby
Barnaby's picture

Ah did not... have sexual relations.. with that woman.

Or that one.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 18:08 | 1942345 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

After touching the lives of so many people, he decided to pull out.........

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 18:56 | 1942442 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The withdraw method.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:31 | 1942522 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

and place it in the convenient receptacle

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 18:59 | 1942449 lolmaster
lolmaster's picture

Hope n change in yo eye

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:28 | 1942513 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Dude is stupid and a liar.   I sure hope none of the other canidates are.  Can somebody please check?

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:29 | 1942514 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Good riddance Koch sucker

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 19:58 | 1942579 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

No one could make this up.  Pitiful and embarrassing.... a new low.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 20:17 | 1942609 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

 

Cain Statement Jive

 

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 20:19 | 1942616 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

Taxpayer dollars at work there with his Secret Service guy standing behind him with body armor under his coat.

Sat, 12/03/2011 - 23:53 | 1943027 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I still like Cain more than Obama or any Clinton.

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 03:33 | 1943392 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He might be more entertaining, if that is your criteria.

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 01:56 | 1943276 jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

one by one, they all fall..

in the end, our man ron will be the last one standing.

 

it will be ron vs. barry

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 03:38 | 1943396 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I like Ron. Thus he is doomed. If it would make folks happy, I'd vote for him. I just don't think they will count my vote, we have paper ballots. I have voted before and asked the folks there how they can trust it when it does not have a paper component. They give me a blank stare. They don't even know what the issue is. I look insane to them. I have written the appropriate people to complain, no response. I can't even complain and say we are in the stone age. We are in an earlier period than that here in my city.

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 03:39 | 1943398 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Mac Daddy Cain. There, I said it.

Sun, 12/04/2011 - 11:02 | 1943702 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

I think that they should can Trump as a moderator and go for Charles Manson as moderator of a debate - ratings would be out of this universe....

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