• BullionStar
    05/30/2016 - 21:24
    The US Gold Market is best known as the home of gold futures trading on the COMEX in New York. The COMEX has a literal monopoly on gold futures trading volumes worldwide, but very little physical...

Caption Contest: Defining "Legitimate Monetization"

Tyler Durden's picture


The legitimacy of vulgar acts has been making headlines recently and so this morning's rumors of Mario Draghi's insistence to the European parliament that direct ECB buying three-year sovereign bonds is not 'monetary' state-financing got us thinking - just what is 'legitimate monetization' or perhaps "It's not monetization if..."



or perhaps - George Costanza is on to something:


(h/t William Banzai)

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Mon, 09/03/2012 - 11:56 | 2757778 teahouse
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Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:03 | 2757793 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Mario "Milhous" Draghi: "When the ECB does it, that means that it is not monetization."


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:15 | 2757800 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Pushing Hard To Lay A GOLDEN Egg {and Shits' Comin Out} ...

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:24 | 2757858 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

   OR ...

GOLDMAN Has A Duck Planted Everywhere...

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:33 | 2757877 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

If it walks like a schmuck...

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 13:04 | 2757939 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture

i'd suggest something like killing the goose who laid the golden egg, but that part never happened. he's been shooting blanks.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 16:10 | 2758497 saturn
saturn's picture

Cock of the walk.

Any cock can enter ECB vagina these days.

Sounds like a cock and bull story to me.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 13:19 | 2757885 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture

"AFLAC!!!" (A Fiat Lacks Absolute Criterion)

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 11:56 | 2757779 resurger
resurger's picture

You made my day by posting that you tube video ....

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 13:19 | 2757974 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 15:38 | 2758378 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

... and replaced with:


There once was a banker from Italy,
Who handled his job so unwittily.
Then he wiped off his ass
on this carpet of grass
And while doing so smirked at us shittily.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 11:57 | 2757780 Transitory Disi...
Transitory Disinflation's picture

"LOOK" I have no legs just like the euro.  NO WAIT, I am a plump chicken ready to be slaughtered.

sheesh things are bad.....

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 14:01 | 2758102 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

(The old....)

"I can't be out of money, I still have checks!"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 14:16 | 2758152 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


I like it.

I do still have checks, I just need the FED to lend me $500 million at -0.05% interest at the banker back door.

"It's not debt if someone else pays for it."

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:01 | 2757788 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"It's not monetization if...we say its not!!!"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:51 | 2757912 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture

Liskov Substitution Principle

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck but it needs monetary stimulus, you probably have the wrong abstraction.


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 13:22 | 2757985 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

We can't grow ourselves out of debt, no matter what the Federal Reserve does


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:04 | 2757795 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

" Who created me? It cant be William Banzi. His stamp is missing"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:06 | 2757808 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Update.. Ignore. He put his stamp on the side. My eyes are going

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 20:09 | 2759009 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

                             GETTING OLD

                      Baby Boomers '1960 VS 2012'

Then:   Long Hair
Now:    Longing for hair

Then:   The perfect high.
Now:    The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then:   Keg.
Now:    EKG.

Then:   Acid Rock.
Now:    Acid Reflux.

Then:   Moving to California because it's cool.
Now:    Moving to California because it's warm.

Then:   Growing pot.
Now:    Growing pot belly.

Then:   Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now:    Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

Then:   Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now:    Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then:   Seeds and stems.
Now:    Roughage.

Then:   Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now:    Popping joints.

Then:   Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now:    Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then:   Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now:    Being caught with Hustler magazine.

Then:   Killer weed.
Now:    Weed killer.

Then:   Hoping for a BMW.
Now:    Hoping for a BM.

Then:   The Grateful Dead.
Now:    Dr. Kevorkian.

Then:   Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now:    Getting a new hip joint.

Then:   Rolling Stones.
Now:    Kidney stones.

Then:   Being called into the principal's office.
Now:    Calling the principal's office.

Then:   Screw the system!
Now:    Upgrade the system.

Then:   Peace sign.
Now:    Mercedes logo.

Then:   Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
Now:    Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

Then:   Take acid.
Now:    Take antacid.

Then:   Passing the driver's test.
Now:    Passing the vision test.

Then:   "Whatever"
Now:    "Depends"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:04 | 2757796 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Its legitimate monetization when the Central Bankers buy MY bonds.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:53 | 2757921 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture

"Duck Test, Shmuck Test. Fiat is mutable. That's why it's called fiat." -- Draghi

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:05 | 2757802 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

"A mind is a terrible thing to lose...How true this is."

                                         --Dan Quayle

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:11 | 2757811 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture
...il est pâté de canard!
...es paté de pato!
Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:09 | 2757819 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:12 | 2757824 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

"I am an American and I am humbled to that? WTF"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:26 | 2757866 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"It's not monetization if a Chinese citizenism citizen is paid to spread the propaganda that it's yet another manifestation of the eternal nature US citizenism in a US citizen country which happens not to be the actual US of A."

That will be 39 renminbi, please.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 13:01 | 2757932 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

if the marioECBsquid declares: "costanza is not kramer" he would win this caption contest himself, comrade BiCheZ!

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:12 | 2757825 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Unicorn ran over the rainbow, humped a rusty pot of bad debt and suddenly an euro-genie eating a banana appeared and said: "Monetization is not monetization if we just buy a little bit in the name of zee stabeeletee"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:12 | 2757826 Rollerball
Rollerball's picture

... the liberation of Gotham has begun!

Danny Divito (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103776/quotes?qt=qt0427743 )

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:12 | 2757827 The Watchman
The Watchman's picture

White meat = legitimate

Dark meat = illegitimate

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:12 | 2757829 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

Monetization is legitimate if you're prepared to turn your currency into chicken feed.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:13 | 2757830 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Saúl {Alinsky} Lizondo of the IMF’s Western Hemisphere Department talks about the outlook and challenges for the Caribbean region and expected outcomes from the High Level Caribbean Forum taking place in Trinidad and Tobago on September 4-5.



Our advertising efforts to jumpstart the tourism economy have failed. We need to revisit our approach by not scarring the shit out potential passengers over a manufactured government stickman terrorist threat. Those new x-ray screening machines will have to be put on the back burner. How can we expect to subsidize this cost if overall tourism traffic is down.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:13 | 2757831 Peter K
Peter K's picture

"The're gonna put y'all in chains!"

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:35 | 2757882 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

"Back in chains." We'll bail them in the air and on the beaches, in the fields and in the streets, we will never surrender to gold."

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:16 | 2757832 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

mirror, mirror, on the door

make my nuggets hit the floor

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:15 | 2757836 cohutt
cohutt's picture

"I have rump-fooked  the goose that laid the golden egg.  Carry on."

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:17 | 2757840 Lofty
Lofty's picture

Christmas is approaching and I don't want to get stuffed...oh wait a minute

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:17 | 2757845 pain_and_soros
pain_and_soros's picture

Just say no to Draghi...

or in German, Keine macht den Draghi

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:20 | 2757849 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Folks, now here's the story 'bout Mario the Moocher,
he was a red-hot screw the poocher,
He was the weakest, lamest fail,
And Mario had a heart as big as a snail.

All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Now, he messed around with a Gal named Angie

he loved her though she was a Euro Banshee,
He took her down to Brussels town,
He showed her how to kick the can around.


All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Now, he had a plan for Borg of Sweden,
He wanted cash the EU was needin',
He tried to give them an ECB supervisor

Sweden said no cuz Borg was much wiser!

All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Poor Europe Poor Europe Poor Europe!


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:21 | 2757852 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Are those Olive Oyl's boots?


I'm strong to the Finnish

'cuz I eats me chicken parmesan with spinach

toot toot!

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:22 | 2757854 giggler123
giggler123's picture

If dodo's are extinct what am I?

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:25 | 2757863 AndItsGone
AndItsGone's picture

From what I understand, if it's legitimate monetization, gold and silver have ways to shut the whole thing down.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:29 | 2757869 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

He looks like Donald Fuck.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:30 | 2757871 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

The Federal Reserve, The Treasury Dept, The State Of California, The ECB, practically every city in America... They are all guilty of keeping the Ponzi alive by stealing from the children and leaving them with a bunch of worthless paper, pretending that someday it will actually be worth something.


Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:30 | 2757874 Beau Tox
Beau Tox's picture

If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, . . .

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:33 | 2757876 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...it's a phuckin' duck.

Mon, 09/03/2012 - 12:34 | 2757879 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

It is like "legitimate rape" - it does not work, so women don't get pregnant - likewise, monetizing debt with debt does not create prosperity for any country!

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