Caption Contest: Defining "Legitimate Monetization"

Tyler Durden's picture

The legitimacy of vulgar acts has been making headlines recently and so this morning's rumors of Mario Draghi's insistence to the European parliament that direct ECB buying three-year sovereign bonds is not 'monetary' state-financing got us thinking - just what is 'legitimate monetization' or perhaps "It's not monetization if..."



or perhaps - George Costanza is on to something:


(h/t William Banzai)

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TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Mario "Milhous" Draghi: "When the ECB does it, that means that it is not monetization."

BaBaBouy's picture

Pushing Hard To Lay A GOLDEN Egg {and Shits' Comin Out} ...

BaBaBouy's picture

   OR ...

GOLDMAN Has A Duck Planted Everywhere...

palmereldritch's picture

If it walks like a schmuck...

greased up deaf guy's picture

i'd suggest something like killing the goose who laid the golden egg, but that part never happened. he's been shooting blanks.

saturn's picture

Cock of the walk.

Any cock can enter ECB vagina these days.

Sounds like a cock and bull story to me.

NewWorldOrange's picture

"AFLAC!!!" (A Fiat Lacks Absolute Criterion)

resurger's picture

You made my day by posting that you tube video ....

Albertarocks's picture

... and replaced with:


There once was a banker from Italy,
Who handled his job so unwittily.
Then he wiped off his ass
on this carpet of grass
And while doing so smirked at us shittily.

Transitory Disinflation's picture

"LOOK" I have no legs just like the euro.  NO WAIT, I am a plump chicken ready to be slaughtered.

sheesh things are bad.....

boogerbently's picture

(The old....)

"I can't be out of money, I still have checks!"

ebworthen's picture


I like it.

I do still have checks, I just need the FED to lend me $500 million at -0.05% interest at the banker back door.

"It's not debt if someone else pays for it."

nmewn's picture

"It's not monetization if...we say its not!!!"

NewWorldOrange's picture

Liskov Substitution Principle

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck but it needs monetary stimulus, you probably have the wrong abstraction.


goldfish1's picture

We can't grow ourselves out of debt, no matter what the Federal Reserve does

LouisDega's picture

" Who created me? It cant be William Banzi. His stamp is missing"

LouisDega's picture

Update.. Ignore. He put his stamp on the side. My eyes are going

StychoKiller's picture

                             GETTING OLD

                      Baby Boomers '1960 VS 2012'

Then:   Long Hair
Now:    Longing for hair

Then:   The perfect high.
Now:    The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then:   Keg.
Now:    EKG.

Then:   Acid Rock.
Now:    Acid Reflux.

Then:   Moving to California because it's cool.
Now:    Moving to California because it's warm.

Then:   Growing pot.
Now:    Growing pot belly.

Then:   Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now:    Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

Then:   Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now:    Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then:   Seeds and stems.
Now:    Roughage.

Then:   Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now:    Popping joints.

Then:   Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now:    Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then:   Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now:    Being caught with Hustler magazine.

Then:   Killer weed.
Now:    Weed killer.

Then:   Hoping for a BMW.
Now:    Hoping for a BM.

Then:   The Grateful Dead.
Now:    Dr. Kevorkian.

Then:   Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now:    Getting a new hip joint.

Then:   Rolling Stones.
Now:    Kidney stones.

Then:   Being called into the principal's office.
Now:    Calling the principal's office.

Then:   Screw the system!
Now:    Upgrade the system.

Then:   Peace sign.
Now:    Mercedes logo.

Then:   Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
Now:    Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

Then:   Take acid.
Now:    Take antacid.

Then:   Passing the driver's test.
Now:    Passing the vision test.

Then:   "Whatever"
Now:    "Depends"

bugs_'s picture

Its legitimate monetization when the Central Bankers buy MY bonds.

NewWorldOrange's picture

"Duck Test, Shmuck Test. Fiat is mutable. That's why it's called fiat." -- Draghi

Gordon Freeman's picture

"A mind is a terrible thing to lose...How true this is."

                                         --Dan Quayle

Wakanda's picture est pâté de canard!
o paté de pato!
BeetleBailey's picture


AnAnonymous's picture

"I am an American and I am humbled to that? WTF"

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"It's not monetization if a Chinese citizenism citizen is paid to spread the propaganda that it's yet another manifestation of the eternal nature US citizenism in a US citizen country which happens not to be the actual US of A."

That will be 39 renminbi, please.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

if the marioECBsquid declares: "costanza is not kramer" he would win this caption contest himself, comrade BiCheZ!

Dick Darlington's picture

Unicorn ran over the rainbow, humped a rusty pot of bad debt and suddenly an euro-genie eating a banana appeared and said: "Monetization is not monetization if we just buy a little bit in the name of zee stabeeletee"

Rollerball's picture

... the liberation of Gotham has begun!

Danny Divito ( )

The Watchman's picture

White meat = legitimate

Dark meat = illegitimate

Tenshin Headache's picture

Monetization is legitimate if you're prepared to turn your currency into chicken feed.

Atomizer's picture

Saúl {Alinsky} Lizondo of the IMF’s Western Hemisphere Department talks about the outlook and challenges for the Caribbean region and expected outcomes from the High Level Caribbean Forum taking place in Trinidad and Tobago on September 4-5.


Our advertising efforts to jumpstart the tourism economy have failed. We need to revisit our approach by not scarring the shit out potential passengers over a manufactured government stickman terrorist threat. Those new x-ray screening machines will have to be put on the back burner. How can we expect to subsidize this cost if overall tourism traffic is down.

Peter K's picture

"The're gonna put y'all in chains!"

The Shootist's picture

"Back in chains." We'll bail them in the air and on the beaches, in the fields and in the streets, we will never surrender to gold."

buzzsaw99's picture

mirror, mirror, on the door

make my nuggets hit the floor

cohutt's picture

"I have rump-fooked  the goose that laid the golden egg.  Carry on."

Lofty's picture

Christmas is approaching and I don't want to get stuffed...oh wait a minute

pain_and_soros's picture

Just say no to Draghi...

or in German, Keine macht den Draghi

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Folks, now here's the story 'bout Mario the Moocher,
he was a red-hot screw the poocher,
He was the weakest, lamest fail,
And Mario had a heart as big as a snail.

All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Now, he messed around with a Gal named Angie

he loved her though she was a Euro Banshee,
He took her down to Brussels town,
He showed her how to kick the can around.


All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Now, he had a plan for Borg of Sweden,
He wanted cash the EU was needin',
He tried to give them an ECB supervisor

Sweden said no cuz Borg was much wiser!

All de Dough de Dough de Dough
All de Dough de Dough de Dough

Poor Europe Poor Europe Poor Europe!


buzzsaw99's picture

Are those Olive Oyl's boots?


I'm strong to the Finnish

'cuz I eats me chicken parmesan with spinach

toot toot!

giggler123's picture

If dodo's are extinct what am I?

AndItsGone's picture

From what I understand, if it's legitimate monetization, gold and silver have ways to shut the whole thing down.

Silverhog's picture

He looks like Donald Fuck.

tahoebumsmith's picture

The Federal Reserve, The Treasury Dept, The State Of California, The ECB, practically every city in America... They are all guilty of keeping the Ponzi alive by stealing from the children and leaving them with a bunch of worthless paper, pretending that someday it will actually be worth something.

Beau Tox's picture

If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, . . .

BrigstockBoy's picture

walks like a duck, quacks like a's a phuckin' duck.

XRAYD's picture

It is like "legitimate rape" - it does not work, so women don't get pregnant - likewise, monetizing debt with debt does not create prosperity for any country!