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    Crude oil time-spreads have completely dislocated from inventories. Historically, such dislocations have proved to be short lived. We expect that either spot prices will sell-off again or the back...

Carol Bartz' Farewell Letter

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Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:49 | 1640090 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Another food stamps recipient.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:13 | 1640173 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

you cant eat a Yahoo

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:18 | 1640194 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

You sure can drink Yoohoo though!  ;-)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:15 | 1640380 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Yoohoo + vodka = white trash Russian

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:22 | 1640596 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I just tried it. Not bad, not bad at all! It was so good I got trashed.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:41 | 1640652 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

She should have ploughed her Fortune 500 salary into gold, bitchez. I wonder if she did...

http://azizonomics.com/2011/09/06/america-priced-in-gold/ 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:06 | 1641177 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

$45 million for just laying off bunch of employees to float the stock in the short term is a good gig even if not paid in gold.

 

When the stock jumps up after a CEO is fired tell you about her job performance. These parasitic posers are well represented in the C-suite.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:50 | 1640673 oogs66
oogs66's picture

damn, i tried vodka with milk and cocoa, spit it out, and went back to straight vodka! 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:35 | 1640637 Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

Yoohammer

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:06 | 1640683 caerus
caerus's picture

you make a hell of a caucasian jakie...

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:32 | 1640743 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I'll stick to oat sodas or sometimes just a Sioux City sarsaparilla.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:19 | 1640198 eureka
eureka's picture

Jill Barad, Carly Fiorine, Carol Bartz - and many more (non mentioned none forgotten).

Is the "old boys' network" a "man's world" - or - are these women too focused on posing and marketing, and not enough on strategizing and executing financial leverage schemes for their corporate boards?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:29 | 1640235 e1618978
e1618978's picture

If you mean Carly Fiorina, she wasn't fired because she was a woman, she was fired for the same reasons that she made the "worst CEOs of all time" list.  Same with Meg Whitman - didn't make the list, but deserved to probably.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:45 | 1640292 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

If I were a piglette, well, I'd take their "packages" (in all respects) and b smilin' - Ned.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:06 | 1640536 greyghost
greyghost's picture

speaking of these two....talk about holding an election and these to nimrods don't show. still waiting for their campaigns to start.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:11 | 1640371 knukles
knukles's picture

And Sally Krawcheck.  Don't forget Sally.  Let's stay up to date here.  And even then it's not the first time for Sally, so she's got at least one up on Carol.  And she's fresh out the door, too!  Two in One Day!Jeessh.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:50 | 1640293 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

Do you really care?

 

 

She's also getting stock options for 5,000,000 shares and an equity grant of $18 million of stock,

http://www.businessinsider.com/2009/1/carol-bartzs-pay-1-million-salary-2-million-bonus-yhoo#ixzz1XDt90YeR

 

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:56 | 1640329 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

But, but -- the CEO fired her ON THE PHONE!  How tacky! 

CEO is probably wearing WHITE after LABOR DAY too!  Sheesh. ;)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:13 | 1640377 knukles
knukles's picture

With pinstriped wool socks and Berkinstocks.

(humming, thinking about calling accountant and broker in the morning)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:45 | 1640462 Fiat2Zero
Fiat2Zero's picture

I like how she didn't change the default "sent from my iPad (yes, I am a douchebag)".

Classic.  Good advice - don't let your gramma near the puter if'n ya want it to work right.  And especially don't put her in charge of a tech company.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:08 | 1640825 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Wouldn't it be funny if this got posted...

Hi Carol,

I'm sorry but my line was full of static when we spoke and I was just saying that you've been fired up since you got here and me and rest of the board agree on this.  Hopefully this didn't cause any confusion on your part. It is our pleasure to work with you and expect only the best going forward.   

Roy

Sent from my BlackBerry


Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:17 | 1640582 jcmjr
jcmjr's picture

46,000,001

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:19 | 1640714 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

I do my own gardening. That way, the gardener cannot be fired. But he can go on strike.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:33 | 1641021 janus
janus's picture

CompassionateFascist,

You're FIRED!!!

warm regards,

Jehovah

 

keep a' diggin, cp. and deeper still...keep a' diggin!, cp. till the soil starts to spill back in, keep a diggin, cp. and deeper still...  fascists!, dig deep-deep-deep...and deeper still!

keep a' diggin, cp. and deeper still (keep goin' you'll get the beat -- i stole it from the Heavenly Realm...it's a top forty hit up there!)

and, behold, janus did lift up his face; and there an angel did sing; and the sound was as a trumpet's blast!

plan on keepin that username long, cp?

all is forgiven when i don't see the symbol for mass murder, nor the words that overscore it (your username, in case you're too dim to follow).

i missed your rebuttal yesterday, cp!

always,

janus

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:51 | 1641212 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

Fired over the phone?

 

You keep it classy Yahoo!

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:24 | 1641979 serndipity
serndipity's picture

Carol Bartz will be receiving a $10.4M serverence package on her way out the door.

Time to shave and find a job?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:50 | 1640094 caerus
caerus's picture

"sent from my ipad"

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:19 | 1640101 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

To y'all:

blah blah blah

sent from my pr0nPad

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:28 | 1640733 snakeboat
snakeboat's picture

It's hard to get pron on mine, damn steve jobbies and his engineered shite!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:52 | 1640108 --Freedom--
--Freedom--'s picture

That line makes it art.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:02 | 1640345 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It certainly justifies her firing from an internet co. She probably leaves the tags on mattresses too.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:07 | 1640540 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Sent from my xx is the new Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:35 | 1640748 edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

I don't think you're supposed to remove those. 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 09:26 | 1641726 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Ceci n'est pas une ipad.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:33 | 1640629 drswhaley
drswhaley's picture

If the message got through, she is not using the yahoo mail client.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:34 | 1640745 edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

"sent from my TouchPad" would have been much funnier.

Firing a CEO over the phone - that's stone cold man.  Bring your own tissues.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:50 | 1640095 climacus
climacus's picture

Good riddance

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:51 | 1640096 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

Anyone who uses, "going forward" should be fired.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:52 | 1640106 Drag Racer
Drag Racer's picture

+1 trillion insider speak

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:28 | 1640230 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

"At the end of the day" is my favorite. It's the cool thing to say in a business setting.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:53 | 1640319 unununium
unununium's picture

Net net, I'll talk to you off-line.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:05 | 1640359 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

+1 wonder. Long cut and paste to follow. Apologies in advance.

Courtesy Ol' Remus:

http://woodpilereport.com/

Regime-speak

You're about to be lied to when they say-

a hand up
a new study shows
a poll by the highly respected
a positive step
are speaking out
arguably
arsenal
at-risk communities
best practices
broader implications
commonsense solutions
comprehensive reform
cycle of poverty
cycle of violence
demand action
denier
disenfranchised
disparate impact
disproportionately
diverse backgrounds
divisive
economically disadvantaged
emerging consensus
empower
enhance
fair share
fiscal stimulus
fully funded
give back
giving voice to
greater diversity
growing support for
hater
have issues
high capacity magazine
history shows
in denial
inappropriate
inclusive environment
insensitivity
investment in the future
linked to
making a difference
making bad choices
marginalized
most vulnerable
mounting opposition to
multicultural
non-blaming
nonjudgmental
non-partisan, non-profit
not value neutral
off our streets
on some level
oppressed minorities
our nation's children
outreach
people of color
positive outcome
progressive
public/private partnership
raising awareness
reaching out
reaffirm our commitment to
redouble our efforts
root cause
sends a message
shared values
social justice
solidarity with
speaking truth to power
stakeholders
statistics show
sustainability
the American People
the bigger issue is
the failed ...
the larger question is
the more important question is
the reality is
the struggle for
too many
too often
touched by
underserved populations
undocumented immigrant
vibrant community
voicing concern
working families

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:28 | 1640421 knukles
knukles's picture

Other assorted antanne wigglers....

conspiracy theory
whistle blower
listen, motherfucker
God-Sent-Me-Here-to-Straighten-This-Shit-Out
No
You have got to be shitting me
no fucking way
It's not polite to make fun of the handicapped.
That was your wife, boss?
Everything your mother told you is true
But I only screwed her the one time
valued skullfuck of a client
I thought she was a guy, er... uh... lemme explain
lemme expalin
WTF?
-------, we need to talk
I know where you live
I promise I won't do it again
Not in your life time
We're being serious
We're not being serious about you
As serious as a fucking heart attack
It's not loaded
I wouldn't do that
About 2 beers

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:03 | 1640529 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

I object to "listen motherfucker" the rest are fine

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:06 | 1640539 Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

"Relax....you might feel some pressure...."

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:09 | 1640548 knukles
knukles's picture

LOL
Now that is serious funny.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:45 | 1640906 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

I feel your pain.

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:15 | 1641191 knukles
knukles's picture

OMG! You've opened up a whole new universe for me...
Depends on what I want to wear in the morning
I never inhaled
I never had sex with that womal

Depends on what the meaning of is, is

Mena?  They have an airport?

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:54 | 1640924 getplaning
getplaning's picture

I'm only going to park here for a minute.

I promise I won't ________________.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:57 | 1640505 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Cheesy Bastard

Uh Dude, let me shorten that for you.

One of the best Bobby Goren quotes " All people lie all the time".

Fuck of a lot simpler to remember.


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