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Carol Bartz' Farewell Letter

Tyler Durden's picture





 

The title, the body, and the post script, says it all...

I’ve Just Been Fired


To all,

I am very sad to tell you that I’ve just been fired over the phone by Yahoo’s Chairman of the Board. It has been my pleasure to work with all of you and I wish you only the best going forward.

Carol

Sent from my iPad

h/t Mashable

 


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Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:49 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Another food stamps recipient.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:13 | Link to Comment LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

you cant eat a Yahoo

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:18 | Link to Comment cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

You sure can drink Yoohoo though!  ;-)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:15 | Link to Comment NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Yoohoo + vodka = white trash Russian

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:22 | Link to Comment Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I just tried it. Not bad, not bad at all! It was so good I got trashed.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:41 | Link to Comment spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

She should have ploughed her Fortune 500 salary into gold, bitchez. I wonder if she did...

http://azizonomics.com/2011/09/06/america-priced-in-gold/ 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:06 | Link to Comment AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

$45 million for just laying off bunch of employees to float the stock in the short term is a good gig even if not paid in gold.

 

When the stock jumps up after a CEO is fired tell you about her job performance. These parasitic posers are well represented in the C-suite.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:50 | Link to Comment oogs66
oogs66's picture

damn, i tried vodka with milk and cocoa, spit it out, and went back to straight vodka! 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:35 | Link to Comment Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

Yoohammer

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:06 | Link to Comment caerus
caerus's picture

you make a hell of a caucasian jakie...

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:32 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I'll stick to oat sodas or sometimes just a Sioux City sarsaparilla.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:19 | Link to Comment eureka
eureka's picture

Jill Barad, Carly Fiorine, Carol Bartz - and many more (non mentioned none forgotten).

Is the "old boys' network" a "man's world" - or - are these women too focused on posing and marketing, and not enough on strategizing and executing financial leverage schemes for their corporate boards?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:29 | Link to Comment e1618978
e1618978's picture

If you mean Carly Fiorina, she wasn't fired because she was a woman, she was fired for the same reasons that she made the "worst CEOs of all time" list.  Same with Meg Whitman - didn't make the list, but deserved to probably.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:45 | Link to Comment New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

If I were a piglette, well, I'd take their "packages" (in all respects) and b smilin' - Ned.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:06 | Link to Comment greyghost
greyghost's picture

speaking of these two....talk about holding an election and these to nimrods don't show. still waiting for their campaigns to start.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:11 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

And Sally Krawcheck.  Don't forget Sally.  Let's stay up to date here.  And even then it's not the first time for Sally, so she's got at least one up on Carol.  And she's fresh out the door, too!  Two in One Day!Jeessh.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:50 | Link to Comment macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

Do you really care?

 

 

She's also getting stock options for 5,000,000 shares and an equity grant of $18 million of stock,

http://www.businessinsider.com/2009/1/carol-bartzs-pay-1-million-salary-2-million-bonus-yhoo#ixzz1XDt90YeR

 

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:56 | Link to Comment MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

But, but -- the CEO fired her ON THE PHONE!  How tacky! 

CEO is probably wearing WHITE after LABOR DAY too!  Sheesh. ;)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:13 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

With pinstriped wool socks and Berkinstocks.

(humming, thinking about calling accountant and broker in the morning)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:45 | Link to Comment Fiat2Zero
Fiat2Zero's picture

I like how she didn't change the default "sent from my iPad (yes, I am a douchebag)".

Classic.  Good advice - don't let your gramma near the puter if'n ya want it to work right.  And especially don't put her in charge of a tech company.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:08 | Link to Comment NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Wouldn't it be funny if this got posted...

Hi Carol,

I'm sorry but my line was full of static when we spoke and I was just saying that you've been fired up since you got here and me and rest of the board agree on this.  Hopefully this didn't cause any confusion on your part. It is our pleasure to work with you and expect only the best going forward.   

Roy

Sent from my BlackBerry


Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:17 | Link to Comment jcmjr
jcmjr's picture

46,000,001

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:19 | Link to Comment CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

I do my own gardening. That way, the gardener cannot be fired. But he can go on strike.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:33 | Link to Comment janus
janus's picture

CompassionateFascist,

You're FIRED!!!

warm regards,

Jehovah

 

keep a' diggin, cp. and deeper still...keep a' diggin!, cp. till the soil starts to spill back in, keep a diggin, cp. and deeper still...  fascists!, dig deep-deep-deep...and deeper still!

keep a' diggin, cp. and deeper still (keep goin' you'll get the beat -- i stole it from the Heavenly Realm...it's a top forty hit up there!)

and, behold, janus did lift up his face; and there an angel did sing; and the sound was as a trumpet's blast!

plan on keepin that username long, cp?

all is forgiven when i don't see the symbol for mass murder, nor the words that overscore it (your username, in case you're too dim to follow).

i missed your rebuttal yesterday, cp!

always,

janus

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:51 | Link to Comment A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

Fired over the phone?

 

You keep it classy Yahoo!

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:24 | Link to Comment serndipity
serndipity's picture

Carol Bartz will be receiving a $10.4M serverence package on her way out the door.

Time to shave and find a job?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:50 | Link to Comment caerus
caerus's picture

"sent from my ipad"

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:19 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

To y'all:

blah blah blah

sent from my pr0nPad

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:28 | Link to Comment snakeboat
snakeboat's picture

It's hard to get pron on mine, damn steve jobbies and his engineered shite!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:52 | Link to Comment --Freedom--
--Freedom--'s picture

That line makes it art.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:02 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It certainly justifies her firing from an internet co. She probably leaves the tags on mattresses too.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:07 | Link to Comment nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Sent from my xx is the new Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:35 | Link to Comment edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

I don't think you're supposed to remove those. 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 09:26 | Link to Comment Incubus
Incubus's picture

Ceci n'est pas une ipad.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:33 | Link to Comment drswhaley
drswhaley's picture

If the message got through, she is not using the yahoo mail client.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:34 | Link to Comment edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

"sent from my TouchPad" would have been much funnier.

Firing a CEO over the phone - that's stone cold man.  Bring your own tissues.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:50 | Link to Comment climacus
climacus's picture

Good riddance

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:51 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

Anyone who uses, "going forward" should be fired.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:52 | Link to Comment Drag Racer
Drag Racer's picture

+1 trillion insider speak

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:28 | Link to Comment WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

"At the end of the day" is my favorite. It's the cool thing to say in a business setting.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:53 | Link to Comment unununium
unununium's picture

Net net, I'll talk to you off-line.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:05 | Link to Comment Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

+1 wonder. Long cut and paste to follow. Apologies in advance.

Courtesy Ol' Remus:

http://woodpilereport.com/

Regime-speak

You're about to be lied to when they say-

a hand up
a new study shows
a poll by the highly respected
a positive step
are speaking out
arguably
arsenal
at-risk communities
best practices
broader implications
commonsense solutions
comprehensive reform
cycle of poverty
cycle of violence
demand action
denier
disenfranchised
disparate impact
disproportionately
diverse backgrounds
divisive
economically disadvantaged
emerging consensus
empower
enhance
fair share
fiscal stimulus
fully funded
give back
giving voice to
greater diversity
growing support for
hater
have issues
high capacity magazine
history shows
in denial
inappropriate
inclusive environment
insensitivity
investment in the future
linked to
making a difference
making bad choices
marginalized
most vulnerable
mounting opposition to
multicultural
non-blaming
nonjudgmental
non-partisan, non-profit
not value neutral
off our streets
on some level
oppressed minorities
our nation's children
outreach
people of color
positive outcome
progressive
public/private partnership
raising awareness
reaching out
reaffirm our commitment to
redouble our efforts
root cause
sends a message
shared values
social justice
solidarity with
speaking truth to power
stakeholders
statistics show
sustainability
the American People
the bigger issue is
the failed ...
the larger question is
the more important question is
the reality is
the struggle for
too many
too often
touched by
underserved populations
undocumented immigrant
vibrant community
voicing concern
working families

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:28 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Other assorted antanne wigglers....

conspiracy theory
whistle blower
listen, motherfucker
God-Sent-Me-Here-to-Straighten-This-Shit-Out
No
You have got to be shitting me
no fucking way
It's not polite to make fun of the handicapped.
That was your wife, boss?
Everything your mother told you is true
But I only screwed her the one time
valued skullfuck of a client
I thought she was a guy, er... uh... lemme explain
lemme expalin
WTF?
-------, we need to talk
I know where you live
I promise I won't do it again
Not in your life time
We're being serious
We're not being serious about you
As serious as a fucking heart attack
It's not loaded
I wouldn't do that
About 2 beers

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:03 | Link to Comment Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

I object to "listen motherfucker" the rest are fine

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:06 | Link to Comment Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

"Relax....you might feel some pressure...."

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:09 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

LOL
Now that is serious funny.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:45 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

I feel your pain.

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:15 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

OMG! You've opened up a whole new universe for me...
Depends on what I want to wear in the morning
I never inhaled
I never had sex with that womal

Depends on what the meaning of is, is

Mena?  They have an airport?

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:54 | Link to Comment getplaning
getplaning's picture

I'm only going to park here for a minute.

I promise I won't ________________.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:57 | Link to Comment Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Cheesy Bastard

Uh Dude, let me shorten that for you.

One of the best Bobby Goren quotes " All people lie all the time".

Fuck of a lot simpler to remember.


Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:22 | Link to Comment Milestones
Milestones's picture

Wow! A full line cliche list. Time to cut and paste.      Milestones

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 04:11 | Link to Comment vato poco
vato poco's picture

You forgot "Hope" and "Change" and "The Working man's Friend". Fixed that for ya.

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 07:56 | Link to Comment Dyler Turden II Esq
Dyler Turden II Esq's picture

I see. So, it seems, ANY reference to the glaring realities of class and its still more-glaring fallout is considered a lie, or prefatory to a lie.  That's rich.  Gosh, if TPTB paid me the biggest bucks imaginable, I could not come up with better than that.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:16 | Link to Comment Sathington Willougby
Sathington Willougby's picture

"Going forward"

you can

"reach out to them" about this, "taking the lead" on this one of course.

 

HR Talk done fried my corporate brain.  HR think fried the political - corporate world.

 

I'm a human fly

I spell F L Y

I say buzz buzz buzz

and it's just becuz

I'm a human fly

and I don't know why

I got ninety six tears

in ninety six eyes

I got a garbage brain

it's drivin me insane

and I don't like the ride

so push that pesticide

cuz baby I don't care

cuz baby I don't scare

I'm a reborn maggot

usin germ warfare

buzz

ride tonight

I say buzz

rocket ride

say buzz

and I don't know

I just don't know why

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:53 | Link to Comment A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

I was always a "the next exciting phase of my life" man myself

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:56 | Link to Comment flacon
flacon's picture

She's building "synergy" with her now former coworkers.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:16 | Link to Comment tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

The next CEO will probably be much better at establishing convergence and cohesion within our core structure. He/She will probably operate at a high-level and make sure to give 110% to the company going forward.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:47 | Link to Comment tickhound
tickhound's picture

I love the next CEO. 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:46 | Link to Comment Fiat2Zero
Fiat2Zero's picture

The revolving door for C-level execs that is Yahoo.  It's training for something else, no doubt.  Nothing too serious.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:12 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

It's nothing more than a meet and greet for the we give you cash and collect email information and pretend to do something else to attract the people into giving you the information. You will know them by their 17x stock growths in 5 years.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:02 | Link to Comment Tunga
Tunga's picture

Transitorily speaking of course.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:17 | Link to Comment jez
jez's picture

 

. . . and be able to hit the ground running.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:54 | Link to Comment tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

". . . and be able to hit the ground running while maintaining our core values."

Fixed it for you.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:16 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

You have to wonder if all the bureaucrats have the same copy of Memos for Dummies.

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 03:56 | Link to Comment A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

These are our values.

 

Learn them.

Live them.

 

Now I gotta go fuck my secretary. If my wife calls tell her I'm in a meeting.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:30 | Link to Comment Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

That was priceless! And after reading it I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:46 | Link to Comment razorthin
razorthin's picture

with a portfolio of key initiatives.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:22 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

The next CEO will probably be much better at establishing convergence and cohesion within our core structure. He/She will probably operate at a high-level and make sure to give 110% to the company going forward.

Not only that, but their proactive and actionable advice, as well as their strong skills in team-leading, enhanced interemployee communication, interdepartmental cooperation and multilevel skillset sharing, will successfully lead to multiple synergistic win-win outcomes which will favorably position the company to face the current challenging business climate.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:44 | Link to Comment riley martini
riley martini's picture

Actually they did a negative but honest  piece on the fascist of Omaha Warren Buffet last week. I knew something was up . Henry Blodget did the piece I bet he is fired too . At least they can join the human race.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:57 | Link to Comment Hulk
Hulk's picture

Going forward, the use of "going forward" is permanently banned from use...

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:51 | Link to Comment Ironmaan
Ironmaan's picture

She can sit around and do nothing for 99 weeks.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:06 | Link to Comment Landrew
Landrew's picture

F you rich prick! Sit around fuck you man. Try working for a living asshole! People don't sit around when they lose their jobs! That is what you trust fund babies think! Working people know it's a struggle to find work! I am tired of rich assholes thinking we workers are a dime a dozen. Fuck you man!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:14 | Link to Comment Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Lighten up bro... it'll be the Red Hour soon.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:17 | Link to Comment Bullionaire
Bullionaire's picture

Holy shit that was good.

 

"FESTIVAL!  FESTIVAL!

 

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:43 | Link to Comment phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

Burning Man just ended, I think he is homeless atm. Isn't there an afterburn party in the city for you Wooks?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:18 | Link to Comment LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

there is no such thing as unemployment.

Unemployed people "chose"  not to take less desireable jobs.

Who wouldnt pay someone a dollar to wash their car, or five dollars, or $20 to clean out their garage.

The problem with the chronically unemployed is they are too proud (or lazy) to take on this kind of work, preferring to wait around for govt. or some rich guy to offer them the kind of job they want. 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:33 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

Exactly, i offered a friend of mines ex-husband a job of cleaning my yard & cutting the grass, i was willing to pay him £5 for like 30mins work and he told me to "fuck off". Thats gratitude for you, he used to make a lot of money and his reasoning is that he paid over 20k tax a year for 30 years so he is entitled to a free ride!! So now he wont lift a finger for 30 minutes work, thats £1 every six minutes, and he’s only 57!!!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:38 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

So he wouldn't take enough money to get a happy meal from your generosity of letting him clean out your garage. You and people like you are one day going to be swinging. And how do you know what his reasoning is...he tolf you to fuck off. So many off you want the apocolypse and most of you are going to have your guns taken right off yuo when it comes. it aint going to be one against you in some wild west shoot out...it will be 20 and you will swing.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:41 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

Caltrops.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:03 | Link to Comment Rockfish
Rockfish's picture

Ouch! OOOOOOUCH! ouchouchouch........#@>!>#$>$ouch.   BANG

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:02 | Link to Comment Carmagnole
Carmagnole's picture

you've got nail

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:26 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

I toss em out early so they have a fine patina of rust to drive deep into the flesh.

If one were truly mean, there are many things that could be applied to the tips.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:51 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Excrement on the tips, like the VC did on their booby traps.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:47 | Link to Comment LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

Was Dick, I mean Rick, Masters baiting Scratch and Sniff?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:38 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

So im the dick for putting scratch assed where he belongs...on the ground picking up his teeth. Fuck all you who junked me. Anyone who really believes 7.50...the exchange rate for punds to the dollar...so yes it id happy meal...is an asshole and belongs on the ground with him. why dont you go protest at a welfare offcie or something sctach...put your money where your mouth is...and where your teeth would be once someone smacks your punk ass

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:38 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

So im the dick for putting scratch assed where he belongs...on the ground picking up his teeth. Fuck all you who junked me. Anyone who really believes 7.50...the exchange rate for punds to the dollar...so yes it id happy meal...is an asshole and belongs on the ground with him. why dont you go protest at a welfare offcie or something sctach...put your money where your mouth is...and where your teeth would be once someone smacks your punk ass

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:00 | Link to Comment Floordawg
Floordawg's picture

+32 teeth!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:30 | Link to Comment LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Whats wrong with cleaning out a garage?

If you are so fucking irreplaceable, why dont you go out and start your own company?

Oh yeah, because you arent that smart.

so take a job cleaning out a stable.  Or start a software company

I really dont give a shit.  But if your fallback is violence, either join the military or face a wall of buckshot and slugs when you come to take my stuff.

here's a toast to culling the angry, unproductive halfwits from the gene pool 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:49 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

I never said to just take people's stuff...I said if there were some financial armegeddon that a lot of people who think just because they have a gun they will be ok are having a failure of imagination...a failure to imagine it wont be one person that breaks into houses it will be mobs...i DONT want that...mainly I was saying 5 pounds (or 7.50) to mow a lawn is insulting and most people especially those who had good jobs find the idea of a handout insulting...if he said i'd pay you 50 pounds to redo my basement that would be an offer. Oh, and no one is irreleplacable and just starting a business doesnt make you smart. There's smart, there's intelligent and there is wise and there is creative. On this board, intelligent equaled Cheeky Bastard or Trav, Robo is smart (unlike a lot people I think he has a lot to offer and prob does pretty good for himself), wiise equals CD and creative do I even need to say Banzai. Also, I dont believe there is a gene for violence...it is us all to some extent so culling wouldnt help plus it reeks of Nazi eugenics operations. You'd think by reading this site you would know that one can't just get a job anymore...a lot of you really need to wake up to the fact that the unemployment rate is high not cause of laziness but because of structual problems and to sit and blame the unlucky and spit on them is divisive and just what TPTB want so they can continue their theft.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:49 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

I never said to just take people's stuff...I said if there were some financial armegeddon that a lot of people who think just because they have a gun they will be ok are having a failure of imagination...a failure to imagine it wont be one person that breaks into houses it will be mobs...i DONT want that...mainly I was saying 5 pounds (or 7.50) to mow a lawn is insulting and most people especially those who had good jobs find the idea of a handout insulting...if he said i'd pay you 50 pounds to redo my basement that would be an offer. Oh, and no one is irreleplacable and just starting a business doesnt make you smart. There's smart, there's intelligent and there is wise and there is creative. On this board, intelligent equaled Cheeky Bastard or Trav, Robo is smart (unlike a lot people I think he has a lot to offer and prob does pretty good for himself), wiise equals CD and creative do I even need to say Banzai. Also, I dont believe there is a gene for violence...it is us all to some extent so culling wouldnt help plus it reeks of Nazi eugenics operations. You'd think by reading this site you would know that one can't just get a job anymore...a lot of you really need to wake up to the fact that the unemployment rate is high not cause of laziness but because of structual problems and to sit and blame the unlucky and spit on them is divisive and just what TPTB want so they can continue their theft.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:49 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

I never said to just take people's stuff...I said if there were some financial armegeddon that a lot of people who think just because they have a gun they will be ok are having a failure of imagination...a failure to imagine it wont be one person that breaks into houses it will be mobs...i DONT want that...mainly I was saying 5 pounds (or 7.50) to mow a lawn is insulting and most people especially those who had good jobs find the idea of a handout insulting...if he said i'd pay you 50 pounds to redo my basement that would be an offer. Oh, and no one is irreleplacable and just starting a business doesnt make you smart. There's smart, there's intelligent and there is wise and there is creative. On this board, intelligent equaled Cheeky Bastard or Trav, Robo is smart (unlike a lot people I think he has a lot to offer and prob does pretty good for himself), wiise equals CD and creative do I even need to say Banzai. Also, I dont believe there is a gene for violence...it is us all to some extent so culling wouldnt help plus it reeks of Nazi eugenics operations. You'd think by reading this site you would know that one can't just get a job anymore...a lot of you really need to wake up to the fact that the unemployment rate is high not cause of laziness but because of structual problems and to sit and blame the unlucky and spit on them is divisive and just what TPTB want so they can continue their theft.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 00:31 | Link to Comment Milestones
Milestones's picture

You've been in T-Ride too long Mr. masters.      Milestones

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:51 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

The heavy metal band? T-ride?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:48 | Link to Comment stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

before you go riding off on your high horse rick, it's in pounds not dollars

so instead of a happy meal at mcdonalds it's more like a bender at the local wimpy's, that makes it more classier.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:57 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

In fact, he could have bought 1 bag of potatoes, pasta, beans, milk, cheap mince and possibly a sweet or two. That would have fed him for a week. It would have been totally irresponsible for him to even think of visiting Wimpy, thats a crazy idea...its junk anyway.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:15 | Link to Comment Floordawg
Floordawg's picture

Your quite lucky the man only told you to "fuck off" and didn't bury a shovel in your thick bourgeois skull. Now FUCK OFF again Fuck-O!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:22 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

but that is the funny thing, he wouldn’t even of had to pick up a shovel...it was only a few leaves and grass. I would have gave him the correct tools for the job, and £5 on completion of the task(if done sufficiently well).

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:14 | Link to Comment Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

LOL

I know what I would do to your fucking lawn...

As a complete prick I'm sure you would understand....

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:36 | Link to Comment Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Urinate FUCK ME I'M A FUCKHEAD and cover it with grass-kill

 

Get your 5 spot and outtie before the shit appears like reappearing ink

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:38 | Link to Comment LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

a cross eyed, flatulent, ugly, black woman will go far, I'm sure.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:49 | Link to Comment Shirley Wilfahrt
Shirley Wilfahrt's picture

I'll kick your frat boy ass you pasty fuck....

:)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:18 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

Gotta agree with Rick on this one, your pompous ass will be doing the boiled hemp dance with that attitude.

Of course you are trolling, but your pomposity shines through.

pods

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:59 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

A nice comeback!  Not very often that someone gets a rise out of me like that.

Do you practice catch and release?

pods

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:03 | Link to Comment MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

a bender at the local wimpy's

Will they allow you to defer payment until Tuesday for a hamburger today?  I would gladly take a deal like that.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:40 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Show off... Just 'cause you were laid off from Goldman Sachs....

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:37 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

I've been thrown out of way better places than that.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:03 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

I know what his reasoning is because his wife told me, she comes to stay with me sometimes - she had to hide in my kitchen when i offered him the work because she knows what he is like. (when he left and i returned to the kitchen i found her helping herself to my freshly baked buns, fed one to her dog too, i wasnt too happy about that either)

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:34 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

you're a troll. this didnt happen you fucking made it up. whose paying you anyway? Or do you the banksters bidding all on your own fuckface.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:58 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

How's that hook taste?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:00 | Link to Comment Jasper M
Jasper M's picture

Not tryin to offend anybody, but I think this is germane.

1) I, and at least two generations before me, worked hard, in hard conditions. Because of that, I was able to retire at 46. And Yes, I DO enjoy "sitting around" (not working), and assume most would.

2) When the partially disabled lady next store kept begging me for resources (couldn't afford STAMPS!), I offered her $10 to wash my car. SHE Did It! And did a darn fine job. Apparently had a little detailing experience. Very conscientious. 

   Now, she keeps bothering me, but it's for Work, not begging.I will count that as improvement. 

If that makes me a prick, arrogant, whatever, I guess I'll wear that. But I don't understand vilifying those who give others on opportunity for a little profit, from a little work. I've donee such work, and been glad to have it. 

Most potential employers don't Need a given bit of work done - otherwise, it would be done already.We Choose to delegate something we Could do ourselves, giving someone a (small) opportunity.  

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:24 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

Good for you man. Done my fair share of odd jobs to get through uni, would have done anything, security, bar work, warehouse...it was either that or live on a shoestring. Sometimes people forget where we came actually from, i know a few car-washing franchises where they take home a lot more than $10 , no shortage of people willing to do it too. Fair play to the old girl, and yourself.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:52 | Link to Comment Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

After working for Clinton, I got a job giving head to buffalo, at a nickle a herd, until I got my self respect back.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:16 | Link to Comment goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

i found her helping herself to my freshly baked buns, fed one to her dog too, i wasnt too happy about that either

I hope she took money out of your wallet and fed that to her dog too.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 04:00 | Link to Comment A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

True story.

 

Back in the old days of the 87 crash I know a guy who got a blow job off a crack whore in some park in the Bronx for a dollar.

 

Dude, a dollar! Even accounting for the rampant inflation caused by the Fed's devaluing of the dollar, that's still pretty cheap.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:45 | Link to Comment Odin McHaggis
Odin McHaggis's picture

He should have punched you in the face and told you, "clean that up bitch"

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:54 | Link to Comment Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

 A Pound was .2354 Troy ounces of gold, usually referred to as a "sovereign". In modern wonder days of now a sov is 276.59 GBP, or a loss of 99.64%. No wonder the guy is reticent.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:00 | Link to Comment Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

So now he wont lift a finger for 30 minutes work, thats £1 every six minutes, and he’s only 57!!!

Are you serious?.. You fucking prick.. I would have told you to fuck off too.. And now I hope you lose your job.. self rightous asshole..

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:04 | Link to Comment Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Your offer of £5 might be welcome by someone who was indigent.  If he's further up Maslow's triangle, it probably didn't do much him.  I occasionally perform manual labor, but I do it for free.  That way I get my exercise and keep my dignity.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 23:44 | Link to Comment edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

Exactly.  A homeless man who gets 5 pounds would likely be pleased.  A man who made 100K/yr and lost his job doesn't give a fuck about 5 pounds.  He's still going to lose everything he owns.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 01:58 | Link to Comment Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

That was my point Ed...It seems from his story that the man made five pounds a minute at some point and it is insulting to offer that to him and WTF was scratch doing with dude's wife? Call me old-fashioned but you shouldnt be rubbing an unemployment man's rubbarb. But I doubt scratch goes around offering people who need five pounds jobs or anyone else...id be intersted to know scratch why would you offer a job that should be done by a kid to a grown man for a pittance?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:12 | Link to Comment goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

fukk u and ur £5

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 06:10 | Link to Comment AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

a job of cleaning my yard & cutting the grass, i was willing to pay him £5 for like 30mins work

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

30 mins work? cutting the grass? With what? Maybe more like 3hours work.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:33 | Link to Comment Boop
Boop's picture

Putz.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:49 | Link to Comment LiquidIce
LiquidIce's picture

Right!! Everyone should go to school, get a BA/BS or MBA, and hope for $8 an hour and food stamps.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 15:56 | Link to Comment Incubus
Incubus's picture

The problem with civilizations is that eventually everyone's ego grows too much.  It's not so much an issue of a breakdown of rules, or systems: it is the breakdown of people--the unsustainable growth of ego.

Both of you are causes for "the end."

 

In "Utopia," we'd respect people for "the content of their character"--not what job they happen to be working in.  Work != Identity; Work != Me; Work != You; Work != anything of what any of us are.

All of you parade around this blog that uses the Fight Club Mantra, but none of you even care to understand any of it, anyway.

Fools always get caught up on the first layer of everything.  Sometimes I just want to fucking beat all of you with a "tough love" baseball bat.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:26 | Link to Comment Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

I am truly sorry for my fellow ZH comments.  There is a lot going on right now, and it is easy to appear insensitive to the plight of more than 20% of our people as they struggle to survive with inadequate employment.  Mixed in with that to cloud the waters, there are literally millions that are cheating the system, being cheated by the system, drawing off pensions decades after the money they put in is gone, and people who all their lives, worked as hard as they could, only to end up dependent upon food stamps.  The system is going down, and it is a boiling cauldren of people feeding off the system and the system feeding off of people.

Please accept my appologies.  I didn't want it to come to this.  Anything we say can appear insensitive to the victims, but the cost of open discussion of this cluster fuck is risking offending people who did absolutely nothing to bring this about.  You can't discuss the end of the world as we know it without stepping on people's toes.      

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:30 | Link to Comment WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Well said, Smiddy.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 08:19 | Link to Comment Dyler Turden II Esq
Dyler Turden II Esq's picture

VERY well said, and something that needs to be said, repeatedly, as this crisis unfolds.  Worth saving.  And I might add that Smiddy's comments are often in the very good to excellent range, unlike mine.  Kudos to Smiddy.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 16:04 | Link to Comment Incubus
Incubus's picture

I think you just won the award for worst handle on this blog.

 

jfc...what were you thinking when you made that up?  I want to understand your state of mind--I'm sure some hallucinogens were playing a factor?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:46 | Link to Comment Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby's picture

+10

Damn Smiddy you are wise man!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:57 | Link to Comment stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

Dear Everyone,


I'm sorry, I can't write to

each of you individually, but

our family counselor said

it was important to get

this letter out to everyone

as quickly as possible.


It's sad that we have to

send a message like this.

We realize that almost all

of you who gave money to

Little Jay gave it in good

faith, but please, DO NOT

loan Jay Junior any

more money.




Jay Junior wasn't trying to

take advantage of anyone.

He just wanted to be certain

that he was getting enough

foods from the Meat Group.

The meat that can be returned,

will be. The meat that has

already gone bad, Jay Junior

will pay for out of his own

pocket. All of your money

will be returned.

Sincerely,
Viv

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:59 | Link to Comment Meridian
Meridian's picture

Yeah for gods sake nothing could be worse than appearing to be insensitive, I shudder at the thought.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 07:37 | Link to Comment gwar5
gwar5's picture

When we read and comment at ZH we are all commenting on the unbelievably Fukked up economic situation, even the 'articulate' and scared Landrew. We all found ZH seeking the truth, even if it hurts. Any pain should be welcomed, it confirms you're still alive and you still care. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:40 | Link to Comment g
g's picture

Agreed Smiddy. Anyways this is supposed to be 'fight club' so why all the sensitivity exhibited at times? ZH is supposed to be the place to mix it up and talk it out.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:48 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I’ve Just Been Fired

To all,

I am very sad to tell you that I’ve just been fired over the phone by the Manager here at GameStop. It has been an embarassment to fail at something so many others have done successfully and I wish I had studied more in school so I might be employable going forward.

Landrew

Sent from my mother's iPad

 


Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:48 | Link to Comment disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

try drinking and driving if "lightening up" doesn't work. you'll fit in just fine after that.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:55 | Link to Comment zorbathefreak
zorbathefreak's picture

Smoke another, brah!

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:59 | Link to Comment Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Landrew

Yo Dude, being a working man myself I know damn well that many of us actually sit around and enjoy collecting free money. Who the fuck doesn't?


Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:03 | Link to Comment Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Yeah, fuck you! fuck you! fuck you, man, and fuck you, fuck you, fuuuuck youuuu!!!

See? I can do it, too!

Fuck you!

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 16:06 | Link to Comment Incubus
Incubus's picture

Fuck is the greatest word ever. 

 

If I ran a nation, I'd name it "Fuck."

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 22:33 | Link to Comment SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

You forgot the sarcasm tag.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 06:11 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Sheesh!  Guess the peace of Landrew is NOT with you today!

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 07:10 | Link to Comment gwar5
gwar5's picture

Didn't anybody tell you that your Master's in French Literature was a waste of time?

 

 

 

 

 

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:49 | Link to Comment g
g's picture

Just like in any environment there are those that do and those that do not. Sure there are plenty of people that sit on their ass getting unemployment checks and will only look for a job when it runs out. Then there are those who fervently look for jobs the entire time they are on unemployment. And then there are those that are to proud to take a job at a lesser wage than they made previously. They will justify that using many means, their education, status, etc. Fuck a job is a job, I bagged groceries once at 24, and ran into people I knew all the time. But I was working and working hard, supporting myself. These values are dying man, everyone feels entitled, that is one of the core breakdowns in our society. So in the end most people will do the same thing, milk it for all they can, heck its all going down anyways, is the all pervasive thought. So why not sit on your ass and collect unemployment. Well I would say if people had self respect, pride, and dignity they would be willing to work most any job so they could be self supporting. My hat is off to anyone who makes the best of these times, to those that actually can not find a job, to anyone experiencing hard times. I think Ron Paul said it best, you are entitled to you liberty...... and that does mean sitting on your ass, but do not ask me to pay for it. But whatever I digress big time here...

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:28 | Link to Comment tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

"These values are dying man, everyone feels entitled, that is one of the core breakdowns in our society. "

well said, thought appropriate to pull out so as not lost.

re: liberty entitlements : maybe more like they are entitled to ask (why should they be forced to stop?), AND, likewise, you should be entitled to say "I prefer not to." if you so choose?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-9tAqdd_4Y

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:51 | Link to Comment Tim Knight from...
Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

And how many tens of millions was she paid to run this company into the ground? Nice work if you can get it.

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 19:55 | Link to Comment Diablo
Diablo's picture

she sucked but not as bad as jerry yang, who turned down $33/share from msft.

 

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 20:32 | Link to Comment caerus
caerus's picture

yeah that was dumb

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 21:31 | Link to Comment Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

You beat me to it.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!