This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Carol Bartz' Farewell Letter
The title, the body, and the post script, says it all...
I’ve Just Been Fired
To all,
I am very sad to tell you that I’ve just been fired over the phone by Yahoo’s Chairman of the Board. It has been my pleasure to work with all of you and I wish you only the best going forward.
Carol
Sent from my iPad
h/t Mashable
»
- 28274 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Thread winner right there Diablo.
Yea - the Yahoo Board needs to fire themselves for hiring idiots for CEOs...
Competition makes America great!
I hereby offer my services. I am willing to run any company into the ground for far less than anyone in the industry.
For only $5 million (+ put options), I will take your company to the brink of bankruptcy (or even to bankruptcy itself for a small additional fee).
You have to pay up for "Talent".
And I take it you were fired from Goldman Sachs, too?
Good to see you over here tk.
Carol Bartz, Yahoo Inc., $47.2 million. (2010)
Sent from my Logitech keyboard
You are one of the good guys. Or gals. WTF is a cabreado, anyway? Is that like a goldurn commie?
Tim, always nice to read your comments over here.
Yahoo was well on it's way into the ground before she arrived.
Oh, so you're off on that same fucking boat, too? It was because she was a broad, like Sally Krawcheck, and and ... well, a whole buncha others, too, eh? Like Martha Stweart. Went to live in the Gated Community she always wanted but nooooooooooooooooo not for lying under oath or having an absolutely fucked up non excuse of a bitchy impolite dog shit personality, but because she was a broad.
Yeah...
Sure....
Just keep it up and pretty soon Angie Merkel'll be havin' plenty of time on her hands and come a lookin'for you to caress her upper whiter than Matterhorn snow never been touched buy sensitive male hands (like mine) untill now upper inner thighs....
Apple was well on its way to the ground, then Jobs arrived (back).
http://lowendmac.com/coventry/06/beleaguered-apple.html
It's much like, you know, Barak 'it's-Bush's-fault' Obama.
A leader MAKES a difference.
A teleprompter points fingers.
I always say, I give Obama one free pass, the first $trillion deficit he inherited from Bush, beyond that its on his shoulders. He even got the stimulus enacted under Bush but mostly spent under his watch and couldn't even capitalise on that.
yes, Tim. So nice to hear from you. Now be a good blogger and go run your company into the ground, too!
I thought this was fake until I saw the screen shot of the email (which is an iphone screen shot) on the Mashable website.
Wow.
Like the bitch from B of A, there's work out there for ANY wench, as long as her inhibitions don't get in the way.....
nice socially constructive, inspirational comments like this are what give me hope in my fellow man
(not)
Prostitution IS the social construct reflecting mammalian biology, woman!
I am guessing you have had many functional adult realtionships.
Or is that the goal once you move out of moms basement?
Relationships are just a prolonged nightmare of finding out useless information about something you convinced yourself you needed to know about, all in natures plan when the we have the divergence of the sexes at an early age, planting the seeds of curiosity for adolescence and the grounds for “relating”(its fucking genius) - to top it all off you get hoodwinked into having babies in the process of discovery, it's the biological equivalent of the venus fly trap, the proverbial peeling of the onion...and what do you get after peeling the layers? Tears in your eyes.
That made me laugh.
Thanks.
Wow!
I agree with you there...but you come off like a total elitist douche....even if you are a bit funny.
The gardening thing was a joke mate, i was staying up for an aussie trade and drank too much coffee in the process, lighten up. Besides, why would i pay a guy £5 to cut my grass when the old mexican down the street does it for £2 ?
you cheekie fuckin' monkey, you got a rise outta me something fierce with that skulking sarcasm! I'll be sure to keep one eye on you sly dog, see you... (in my sights). Cheers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikJupN2aE94
sure it was. you don't have the cajones to ask no mexican to work for you. he might eat your buns.
The I truly apologize Scratch...my bad..had a bad day...You are funny that last line made me chuckle. Thanks. BTW, I never junked you...I never junk anyone...I write a comment, never push the green arrows...
I agree with you there...but you come off like a total elitist douche....even if you are a bit funny.
That would make a great back piece....
Too bad I've already got a life size full color image of Bruce Springsteen in full BORNINUSA mode with "THE BOSS" in big gothic letters above my beltline....
I'll see your life size full color image of Bruce Springsteen in full BORNINUSA mode with "THE BOSS" in big gothic letters and raise you a life-size Moms Mabley reclining nude on black velvet.
I made it all the way to attic actually. And from the attic lizzy you're looking goooooooooddddddddd. (even if you are 6000 miles away. it's a tall attic!)
LOL
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yup. Besides, the only bitches in finance that I see are on TV. And yes, they are hot and have great big titties!!! I often don't hear what they say. Or care.
i'm very interested in whether Carol...is it Blatz?...is a hottie with big hooters. Well? Is she? If she's married...that's even BETTER! So what gives? Let me guess..."The Donald took a stake in Yahoo, too." I can't WAIT for Sarah Palin to come roaring into Manhattan on her Harley. Davidson that is. "The Hog." (It's a motorcycle in case you all are wondering. I know, I know...you all are more the Vespa types. I hear she's got a different name for her's actually--Rising Sun or something like that.)
Classy ,not, for her and the CEO
Porn is good 4 u :)
Can't wait to see an email like this from Bernanke....
Don't get your hopes up. He's doing an outstanding job of following the orders of his owners. He does need to work on that quiver in his voice during press conferences, though. Dead giveaway for a lie. His voice is a "tell", as we poker players call it.
The man would not fare well in Standing Up Under Hostile Interrogation 101.
Maybe he thinks he's just auditing this shit.
Its like watching a tow truck get towed - under protest.
These announcements tonight bode very well for the upcoming earnings season.
Very well.
They've been lying through their goddamn teeth since 4q 2008. Maintaining operation through countefeited fed money and government largess. Do you think they are going to come clean any more than they have to fire a few more million workers?
There's no such thing as a double dip. It's all one dip with a brief period of lying out your ass before "printing" the 2nd dip.
The CEO of AMD was actually fired by the board for not devoloping system on a chip and other markets that everyone else NEVER FUCKING DEVELOPED. ALL THEY DID WAS FRAUD UP SALES AND BRAG WITH THEIR ASS HANGING OUT SOON TO BE IN A SLING.
People talking shit in 2009 about 40 and 100 million nettop sales a year. What fucking bullshit non-sense. The computer industry hasn't sold 100 million of anything to anybody but a bunch of fuckups at 'intellegence" who buy the crap and fill it with porn and dick around on it. The whole time telling themselves ya they are complete fucking fuckup dorks but they are complete fucking fuck up dorks with supercomputers.
Corporate America has herpes is out of shape and couldn't attract a fucking dog wearing a meat dress. But they'll sit around talking shit about how they are fucking everybody in the ass and how they like it and can't stop coming back for more. Until the currencies are all so fucked up they can no longer maintain the "illusion".
The corruption of the system follows a fraud cycle that doesn't stop till the wheels fall off.
IBM laid off 15,000 people while posting RECORD profits in October 2008. The record has nothing to do with business. It's simply the insiders shoveling money into the vault to play the who's the biggest and best bullshit artist in the room game for a while.
I'm sure the exit package is HUGE!
Dont bet on it. She was fired (over the phone, no less), not asked to resign "for personal reasons." Somebody is royally pissed.
an e-memo or fax would have been better still.
Defriend her on facebook?
most of her options required her to get the stock above $17 for 20 (?) days and she could only cash in in Jan 2013. So most of her pay package is worthless.
She did make a couple million from the buyout from Autodesk though.
What is it fucking masogonistic punch women in the vagina day or something?
still plenty of time in the day to get a lowblow to Michelle Obama
I'd do 20 minutes of cunt punting that Joe Liberman but that's only because I can pretend he's a man.
Now I know what I am going to call my next exercise video> The 20 Minute Cunt Punt
Power to WORKERS!
Dude, NEVER go full retard.
I thought that was Sundays.
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLAAAAAAAAAA!!
In Canada she wouldn't get EI money. Only if you are laid off or quit for a number of specific scenarios (take another job, harassment....) can you be eligible for x number of weeks of EI. No money for you if you get terminated.
She also would not qualify for EI money if she made over $75,000/year. It would all have to be repaid as federal tax.
And, whatever severance pay she might receive will be calculated in to reduce the allowable weeks of EI.
So, for example, if I have a job at 100k per year, get fired and they give me 33k severance after taxes.
EI will pay roughly 40 weeks of payments (depending on what region of the country I live in, and the unemployment %, could be 35 weeks, could be 45 weeks) at 1k per week. However 33 weeks will be deducted, and starting in the 34th week I can collect.
Canada is a harsh, cold place.
Don't worry about her, she'll be ok, she can eat her iPad if things get tough - she's not smart enough to use it anyway, after all it's not like she's in the tech business.
Yahoo shares jumped 74 cents, or 5.7 percent, to $13.65 in after-hours trading.
Firing bitchez is good for stock prices.
At least she didn't get fired over the phone at 4:45 pm Christmas Eve.
"What's a phone?"
-Carol Bartz
Too bad she can't eat her iPAD.
when TSHTF, she and others like her will be eating their soiled maxipads
Most horriblly. non-PC, gross comment in a while......carry on..
Best to make a soup out of it...
MMM MMM Good!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_soup
Placenta soup in southern china, get it while its hot! (best served at 98.6 degrees)
http://digitaljournal.com/article/277651
Does this ever stop. Getting much worse as the employment picture continues to deteriorate. Here in quiet Carson City Nevada, some deranged killer just killed 3 people and injured about 8. Their crime, having breakfast at IHop. 3 were National Guard troops in uniform.
Killer died on the operating table. This is becoming a very sick nation as it starts to spin out of control.
Bloomberg advises Obama going to propose 300 billion dollar jobs plan. And where does this money come from? This country is being run by Mongoloids. No disrespect to less capable real people.
Sorry Ahmeexnal,
"This country is being run by Mongoloids." just stole your prize.
I thought it was Megatron who was running things. That's what the movie i saw last night told me. Now what's up with TagHeuer advertising? I feel...poor..er now.
Just get a fake one.
Strippers can't tell the difference.
Random mayhem such as you describe has been going on for as long as I can remember.
And where does this money come from?
From the big computer in the sky where all the money comes from.
fired over the phone? is that called high tech?
They couldn't afford a text message, T-Mobile to go doubled the price from 5 cents to a dime. Cheaper to call the bitch via voice.
Didn't want her to be able to tweet the text. Just a she said he said . . .
Server was down so we had to fall on backup.
Correction oops forgot to pay the monthly isp bill.
LOL, Yahoo sucks.
Sweet justice would have been getting fired from the call center in India
Yahoo? Are they still in business?
Why didn't she start a new paragraph after "Charman of the Board"? You'd think she would know how to write.
I’ve Just Been Fired
To all,
I am very sad to tell you that I’ve just been fired over the phone by American Voters/taxpayers. It has been my pleasure to work with all of you and I wish you only the best going forward.
Barrak Obama
Sent from my Blackberry
Why didn't she start a new paragraph after "Charman of the Board"? You'd think she would know how to write.
That's her secretary's job. /sarcasm.
In your face!
Server Error
Was she the one responsible for filling the Yahoo! homepage news section with vapid headlines like Justin Beiber's latest hairstyle while the world goes up in flames?
If so, then good riddance.
No shit, I read the headlines and can't believe the crap up there when the world burns.
No shit, I read the headlines and can't believe the crap up there when the world burns.
Another one comes crashing DOWN and THROUGH the Glass Ceiling that exists for women. I am getting vertigo...up...down...TILT !!!
She got $47.2 million in compensation in 2010... as the stock went from 17 to...16...15...14...13
Great job by Carol and also the BOD
What was the price Microsoft offered Jerry the Yang?
This is a joke.
Depends on what your idea of a joke is...
http://www.forbes.com/sites/roberthof/2011/09/06/report-yahoo-cans-ceo-c...
Just two and a half years after taking over at troubled Internet icon Yahoo, CEO Carol Bartz is out, according to longtime Yahoo watcher Kara Swisher at AllThingsD. Chief Financial Officer Tim Morse, brought in early on in Bartz’s tenure, has been named interim CEO, according to the report. TechCrunch is also reported that she messaged Yahoo employees that she was “fired over the phone by Yahoo’s Chairman of the Board.” Double ouch.
from Wikipedia;
"
When Carol was hired by Yahoo in early 2009 she was paid an annual base salary of $1 million. She was eligible for an annual 400% bonus and received 5,000,000 shares in addition to an equity grant of $18 million of stock (to compensate for the forfeiture of the value of equity grants and post-employment medical coverage from her previous employer).[17] In 2010 Bartz was named “most overpaid” CEO by proxy voting firm Glass-Lewis when she received $47.2 million in compensation.[18]
On 6 September 2011, Bartz was removed from her position at Yahoo! (via phone call), and CFO Tim Morse was named as Interim CEO of the company.[19]"
Well that explains the high volume in options today.
Not that the SEC will investigate that action...
Yahoo is shit. They produce nothing with no unique offerings.
Their news rivals the onion in rediculousness. I laugh 3 times more at yahoo news than I do the onion.
idk about the rest of Yahoo!, but their sports investigation team is second to none. they broke the USC (Reggie Bush) scandal, the Ohio State (tatgate) scandal, and the Miami (hookers and blow 'i'm on a boat') scandal.
True, without Yahoooooooo I would never have suspected that NCAA athletes ever engaged in such terrible behavior. Collegee athletics are the pinnacle and dare I say cornerstone of our modern educational system. Scandalous!!!!
lol
way to miss the point.
the "worldwide leader" isn't breaking these stories. SI isn't breaking these stories. Fox Sports isn't breaking these stories.
They totally missed the story about how the crips cheerleaders were selling crack on the side.
what a cunt.
Isn't that a fastfood chain in TX??
"In & Out Tacos" wasn't working...
LOL, Tears.....
Shirley and Uncle Remus get Knukles' 2011 Best Twisted Shit Award.
It's a spoof. She wasn't actually fired. It was the same guy that called the governor of Wisconsin and told him he was one of the Koch Industries brothers. Can't you take a joke. A Chairman of a public corporation would never fire the CEO over the phone. It would be too embarassing for the Chairman when the CEO tweets it out on her Ipad.
This is all probably some p/r campaign by the new CEO of Apple to draw attention to the Ipad as a great way to keep your job because no one would ever fire you if you have one... with Twitter set up. This is what they meant when they said "the new normal."
Dave Harrison
www.tradewithdave.com
actually that really would be funny. tomorrow we get the "just kidding" message and a "now for all of you who stabbed me in the back while you thought i was gone" moment as well. THAT would be entertaining.
Most kind of the large American corporation to let this female have the 3 day holiday—paid--- before firing her. Oooops they missed that one. Then I thought security was supposed to come and escort you out of the building in front of all the other workers.
Seems to me that they treat fired folks better than in the old days. She probably got a golden parachute filled with thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.
Not sure this is a sad story. Fired over the phone, what did she want, candle light and soft music.
Should have had MSFT buy YHOO rather than that stupid ad-revenue sharing dream. WTF?
Last week Blodget did an honest piece on the fascist of Omaha Warren Buffet as they desperately try to gain credibility without getting fired . Blodget protrayed buffet as the dirtbag that he is and I bet Henry and Carol were fired for the dirtbag Buffet article .
Another one done? Seems all the head circus clowns are getting called down to the underground bunker...
We must be gettin' close now...
Time to get Carl Spackler-ed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv87T1CQF8E
I thought Carol Burnett retired - she was still working???
Just wait until you see what she gets for severance!
Hey at least she was called and not fired by text....I can just imagaine how it went down...
Chairman: Hey Carol....waz up....You are fired BIAATCH....
Carol: YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Shit, you peeps are so behind the fucking curve.
Look up: TechCrunch. Mike. AOL. and... "Does he work for that hedge fund?" and "AOL states he doesn't work for us". -- there's a HUGE fucking mess going on there. Bets are on at 7-10 that TechCrunch ceases to exist next week. Via Huffpost "We took a lot of saps free work and then got AOL, who are fucking clueless, and took them to the cleaners for $315 million, and we are REALLY STILL LEFT WING? YAAH! - where's the polo pitch?". Hint: lefties kinda hate that shit, and they hate it more when you don't pay them jack all.
That's your number #1 sign that America is fucked, totally - millions of pseudo-intellectual lefties being taken for a ride... and they what? Bitch about it on blogs? Which AOL now owns? The laughing stock of the entire intarweb?
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Fuck that shit, too funny. That's where this meta-snark is coming from. "People who made a company but maybe aren't working for that company anymore nor the people they helped take over said company".
Oh, and yes. She got canned by phone. Ye Gods, modern Corporatism has class.... Txt msg. "Hai. Sry. BuT U iz 2 xpensiv 4 us. We 3> u but sry contract nds now. Gd lck! KKK!"
CYA! Hehehehe....
Jerry Yang seems to have gotten more respect and he could have sold the company for more than it's currently worth.
"But all stocks are down."
-Carol Bartz
What's up with the Stuttering Bob routine?
You Jerry's exwife or something?
"Bartz was also quoted to have said that she would "drop-kick to fucking Mars" employees who leak to the press"
"In May 2010, Bartz was involved in a verbal confrontation with internet tech blogger Michael Arrington. Arrington started the interview by asking Bartz, "So how the f*** are you?". To which she responded, "Is that appropriate?".[22] Later in the interview, Bartz became perturbed with Arrington's criticism of the Yahoo! business model of conglomeration rather than single revenue source producers. Bartz then responded to Arrington saying, "you are involved in a very tiny company" and ended the exchange by telling him to "fuck off."[23] ...."
fuck off bitch
Will T. Boone see the value in Yahoo now or blindly follow Carl into his latest boondoggle?
Now one gives a F*ck, everyone knows that these people walk away with enough $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to never have to work again. Now, buy gold with much of the severence and ill see you in the islands, bitch!!
What is that Alibaba crap anyway? Every time I try to go shopping on the web for something I now get steered to their website where some Chinese manufacturer tries to sell me a junk version of it with a minimum order quantity of 5,000 units.
Anyway, cry me a river Carol Bartz, Sallie Krawcheck, et al. Just once I would like to get fired with a mega million dollar severance package like the ones you are walking away with.
It makes me think of that bum who used to hang out in Times Square wearing a sign around his neck that read, “Curse me out for $2.00”.
Don't even try to contact suppliers via Alibaba. You will get hooked up to a de facto Ali Baba rep whose one sole task in life is to bullshit you out of your nickels and dimes. It's like you know how there's a Chinese food joint pushing MSG in every last town in America, even the shitty ones? Alibaba worldwide.
"Life's a Bitch" - Nas
I haven't followed Yahoo related news much lately, so I can't judge how well Carol B did or did not do. But then, I doubt there are many CEOs with much more visible egos capable of turning YAHOO around in such a short period of time. I mean, yahoo has been a sinking ship for a long while. I wouldn't compare her to former HP CEO (Fiorina) cause the latest took over company with solid prospects. Carol B had balls to take a gamble with a fairly disfunctional firm. Even her final good bye letter highlights a character - simpe, right to the point without unneeded drama.
I wish our banking CEO's had enough honor to be that honest, simple and right to the point. "Oh it wasn't me, it was ... blah, blah, blah. '
And I am pretty sure her fiering is related to Chinese (Alibaba, etc) fiasco.
What's the Persian name for "Peggy" ?
Mohammedette
What's Yahoo, a Greek Island?
I think Jeff Macke streams there.
The number one "when you hear it you know it's a lie" word: Planet.
Fired Bitchez!
"Sent from my iPad"
That's all ya need to know folks. The Bitch is so flippin dumb she is contributing to the enemy.
Welcome to our world, Carol. But I'll bet none of us got the package you've gotten....getting fired is much easier when there are six zeroes or more on your package.
Sorry, Carol. You just missed another Whopper Bailout by Barry, Timmy & Ben....they're pushing for $300 Billion so we know $150 Billion of that will be handed to CEO & Executive Bonuses.
The rest will be invested by GE, Apple, etc for job creation....overseas.
exactly, take the money lady and shut the fuck up. We work for money......you make enough where you can go 'create' and 'be you' or any other assorted bullshit reason. You made it to the top, now take your cash and get out of the way, no one gives a shit what you think now.
Dearest Carol,
If you are humble and live a simply, you would never have to work another day in your life. You will receive a golden parachute that is now worth almost $2,000 an ounce. Regrettably, your roughly $29M in stock options are under water, which if you had actually increased shareholder value while you were here would now be worth "something". Enjoy your severance pay and your 99 weeks of unemployment benefits. In just 200 hours you could become certified to teach yoga. If you sell everything you own and get present, live a life of gratitude and abundance you will never suffer again.
We wish you all the best in your future endeavors,
Namaste _/\_
Yahoo Board of Directors
'Over the Phone' could mean just about any method these days.. Facebook wall-to-wall? You Tube video Reply?
is this real???
Yes, and she'll be selling her underyonder on the street tomorrow just to make ends meet.
Some of the most creative firings, especially mass firings, are in the Radio biz. I participated in one long ago where corporate called everyone in for a "mandatory" meeting (usually insurance or some crap), and they announced the stations were for sale and EVERYONE WAS FIRED! You then had the opportunity to re-apply for a job at a much different, much lower rate of pay. No notice & no severance. To Carol I'd say....That's show biz!
Yahoo needs to hire a swashbuckler with some new dangerous ideas and reclaim it's market share against the big "F", or er, "G"
Yo, Dick Master
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Seems you're quick to it.
I get the impression ZH peeps prefer sarc flavored mental
chewing gum wrapped in mockery over your descriptive
violence.
Hey Carol,
Great job you did for Yahoo. Sorry we had to fire you on the phone. We are sorry that we had to pay you a huge pile of our money for fucking Yahoo even further than it was already fucked. Maybe get into politics now - yes politics.
Good idea to message the planet via your Ipad. You are so fucking hip it hurts.
Enjoy retirement until some other more stupid company hires you, because its cool to hire people that were unfairly fired. Fucking poser.
Go fuck yourself.
JB
Hey Carol,
Great job you did for Yahoo. Sorry we had to fire you on the phone. We are sorry that we had to pay you a huge pile of our money for fucking Yahoo even further than it was already fucked. Maybe get into politics now - yes politics.
Good idea to message the planet via your Ipad. You are so fucking hip it hurts.
Enjoy retirement until some other more stupid company hires you, because its cool to hire people that were unfairly fired. Fucking poser.
Go fuck yourself.
JB
Carol Bartz, the former Yahoo chief executive who was ousted from her position Tuesday, has given her first post-firing interview to Fortune — and it’s a doozy.
Using her characteristically salty language, Bartz described how she felt about being fired from the position she’d held since 2009. In her words, “These people [expletive] me over.”
The printable translation: She was none too happy being dismissed over the phone with a lawyer’s script, then given two hours to decide whether to resign or have the board fire her. That much had been apparent from the quick e-mail she fired off to all Yahoo staff, which heavily implied that she thought she deserved better treatment.
---
And what’s going on for Bartz, going forward? She said she plans to remain a Yahoo director, saying that she had “way too many purple clothes” to give up on the company.
At least we know those Yahoo-purple suits go well with Bartz’s blue language.
---------------
From the Forbes link: Update: Did this interview just cost Bartz $10 million? Yes, she had a non-disparagement clause...