This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Is Central Planning About To Cost The Jobs Of Your Favorite CNBC Anchors?

Tyler Durden's picture


Something funny happened when last August CNBC hired access journalist extraordinaire Andrew Sorkin to spiff up its 6-9 am block also known as Squawk Box: nothing. At least, nothing from a secular viewership basis, because while the block saw a brief pick up in viewership driven by the concurrent (first of many) US debt ceiling crisis and rating downgrade, it has been a downhill slide ever since. In fact, as the chart below shows, the Nielsen rating for the show's core 25-54 demo just slid to multi-year lows. And as NY Daily News, the seemingly ceaseless slide has forced CNBC to start panicking: "CNBC insiders tell us executives at the cable business channel are “freaking out” because viewership levels are down essentially across-the-board, particularly with its marquee shows, “Squawk Box” and “Closing Bell." “Their biggest attractions have become their biggest losers,” says one TV industry insider familiar with the cable channel’s numbers. According to Nielsen ratings obtained by Gatecrasher, from April 2011 to April 2012, “Squawk Box” is down 16 percent in total viewers and 29 percent in the important 25-54 demographic bracket that advertisers buy." Yet is it really fair to blame the slide of the morning block's show on just one man?

As a reminder, Sorkin was never the type of personality that CNBC needed: his background was one always best suited to a print medium, where he would be (ab)used by bigger financial interests (at a far slower paced news cycle) who would leak information to him when the time was right. No understanding of the big, or little, picture was required (and none was ever imputed): merely continued "access" (think Wall Street and Blue Horseshoe) which could be gained in exchange for promises of amicable 'profiles' in the occasional infinitely biased non-fiction book. As such, anyone who truly penned their hopes of a rating reincarnation on an access journalist likely needs to be fired. He was not the flamboyant, blonde, mini skirt-clad, eye candy that the bulk of traders who watch the morning block, most of them on mute, are looking for.

Yet the collapse in CNBC ratings goes to a deeper issue.

Because while the cyclical shifts in CNBC viewership are macro event driven, the unmistakable secular decline indicates that just like loss of faith in capital markets by retail investors (last week the ICI reported the biggest weekly outflow from US equity markets in 2012), manifesting itself in a crippling collapse in trading volumes, which in turn is forcing banks to fire traders and salespeople left and right, secondary derivatives of this phenomenon are impacting the financial media, just like CNBC.

But the biggest irony is that it is precisely the same central planning cheerleading that one hears on CNBC day in and day out (look no further than Bob Pisani and Steve Liesman) which is the silver bullet that has been fired right at the head of the Comcast/GE-owned financial station. Because as Artemis Capital showed previously, equity vol collapses whenever the Fed is busy intervening and manipulating the capital markets. This in turn kills the speculative mania that drives an interest toward stocks, and the only entities that can trade in this type of vol vacuum are the appropriately named vacuum tubes: as Zero Hedge first showed three weeks ago, the percentage of electronic trading in markets is now nearly 90%. But this, and everything else, is merely a symptom of one underlying cause: endless central planning intervention by central bankers who now have sole control over the stock market. Who in their right mind would want to participate? And yet this new normal "vol to zero" regime is precisely what CNBC is cheering day in and day out.

One wonders: does CNBC grasp that it is cheering for its own demise? We doubt they are that stupid: they must. So then the real question is: whereas Zero Hedge at least is openly against central planning and is demanding a return to normalcy, yet we realize that this will not happen until after a systemic crash so vast that the status quo is wiped out and a fresh start is mandated, is CNBC not the ultimate agent provocateur: on one hand egging on the failed status quo regime (we all know who their main sponsors and advertisers are), and on the other praying and hoping quietly each and every day for a market collapse which will at least return some of their viewers?

Because just like markets are worthless without participants, so CNBC without viewers is a whole lot of ads with nobody caring about opening a Lind Waldock account (sorry, too soon?). And a victory for the bulls is no victory if no bulls are watching.

Yet just like with dying capital markets whose symptom is being misdiagnosed by regulators day after day, so CNBC will likely blame the collapse of its Squawk Box ratings on the wrong guy, until finally Sorkin is fired. But sadly, for all the wrong reasons.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:46 | 2389889 infiniti
infiniti's picture

That insanely bad euroaccent voice they use to announce the close of european markets makes be want to kill kittens

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:50 | 2389897 SHEEPFUKKER

If they would start reporting the truth, they might get their ratings up.  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:52 | 2389905 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

pretty soon their ratings will go down to 2.  Krugman and MDB

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:56 | 2389918 ratso
ratso's picture

Fire Joe Kernen now.  He is just another self-centered, mean spirited Republican apologist who doesn't have a single objective thought in his entire head.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:07 | 2389955 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

CNBC is owned by GE

GE HQ building is called Rockefeller Plaza


Rockefeller behind the curtain says he doesn't like your face,

you are  done as an anchor .

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:13 | 2389974 Manthong
Manthong's picture

The crime reality show angle gets old after a while and I don’t need to see the same old fraud repackaged day after day.

I stopped watching COPS a long time ago, too.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:27 | 2390022 knukles
knukles's picture

Some of my neo-con golf buddies (note golf buddies, period, stop, EOC...) confuse Information (a la ZH) with Affirmation (a la CNBS, WSJ, etc.) while some of my crazier than loonie bird uber-liberal (California and they get no fucking crazier) golf buds likewise confuse MSNBC and the NYT with Information.

All about insecurities needing reinforcement.
They all desperately need a serious 12 step program to figure out who they really are in the world as it truly exists, but are afraid to wake the fuck up.
As has been said, Ignorance is Bliss 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:08 | 2390131 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Isn't it ironic.  

Don't you think.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:32 | 2390196 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Due to rising healthcare costs, 12 step programs will be shortened to 6 steps.  If a person drinks heavily enough, they can see double.  Healthcare in a bottle.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:40 | 2390213 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

That's good funny stuff right there.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:15 | 2390272 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

What is needed by CNBC is some good, old fashioned (early 90's) style, high profile bankster perp walks ala Charles Keating and Ivan Boesky. The ratings would go through the roof.

I can envision it now. Jamie and Lloyd in cuffs, shackles wrapped around their Spencer Hart suits, being led upstairs to the federal courthouse for the arraignment hearing.

For ironic affect, CNBC can have "Foreclosure of a Dream" by Megadeath playing in the background while they slo-mo the perp walk.

Ahh...One can dream!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:15 | 2390321 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

No, no, no, what CNBC needs is a good, old-fashioned sex tape with Becky Quick or one of the other money-honeys to drive up viewership.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:38 | 2390340 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

“Squawk Box” and “Closing Bell." “Their biggest attractions have become their biggest losers,”.

Such is the life of a corpoRAT propagandist....(sigh) ephemeral.

Someone downriver said "if CNBC start to analyse what is really going on (i.e. start calling bullshit) , they might have a chance at turning it around."

I think the execs can NOT, and would NEVER bother to sully their propaganda with the Truth.... They are freaking out because sheep are walking out of the paddock....

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 02:22 | 2390371 The Real Fake E...
The Real Fake Economy's picture

Sorkin is so badly hoping to follow in the steps of Steven Rattner, it makes me sick.


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 19:50 | 2392534 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

If they throw Sorkin on the street (publicly) and replace with Rick Santelli.....and let him speak his mind......then it would level off.  If Ron Paul does win the nomination.....then offer him a spot!!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:14 | 2390320 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Deep...  Like a dixie cup, go unionize your shop.. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:16 | 2390149 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

One of the unexpected consequences of getting sober: I woke the fuck up and saw reality, and most days I feel like I know my place in it.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:33 | 2390192 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Not trying to cause trouble here, but old knukles there (who I believe is several drinks in now) does not

believe you golfed a 74 !!!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:38 | 2390210 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

LMAO You funny, Hulk. But that 74 was serious, best game of the year for me. Looking to beat it tomorrow, then get home and find that my NFLX puts have doubled. I'm not asking for much, am I?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:45 | 2390223 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Keep rollin dem bones WD, the gods be wit you this week !!!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:56 | 2390241 HardwoodAg
HardwoodAg's picture

How do u do off the mini golf coarse? <shame faced>

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:04 | 2390317 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Agreed, I see this alot myself. All people want from the "news" seems to be variations on what they want to hear.

That anyone watches NBC, Fox, or any network and takes them seriously is a continual source of both amazement to me and friction between myself and people I know.

Unfortunately grabbing them by the ears and screaming "WAKE UP"! isnt likely to be very effective, so I find myself just mocking them alot.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:13 | 2390499 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Ever since I found ZH I watch a lot less of the feces mentioned above. Prob goes the same for a lot of people

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:28 | 2390025 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

best part of COPS was the sound track.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:31 | 2390029 knukles
knukles's picture

I watched COPS re-reuns for years just to see the dumb fuck with the mullett get Tazered in the nads again.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:35 | 2390039 fourchan
fourchan's picture






or do they?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:50 | 2390092 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Average 25-53 demographic to CNBS:
"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it".

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:07 | 2390129 NewThor
NewThor's picture

CNBC should use the Bloomberg strategy and hire a bunch of super sexy women.


Sat, 05/05/2012 - 09:35 | 2399143 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

Or they could tap FuxBusiness for some of their toothsome blondes.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:27 | 2390183 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Maria Barteromo is no longer a babe:

Time to sit on the couch, eat some chips and curse the world.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:19 | 2390278 Harry Dong
Harry Dong's picture

curse you! now stop before you show any pics of Becky Quick

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:02 | 2390438 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Looks like Maria has 2 'anchors' to cast around there...

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:52 | 2390543 10mm
10mm's picture

Id still punch her in the pants.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 09:10 | 2390833 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Maria Barteromo is no longer a babe:


Thems some really flacid milk bags right there...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:31 | 2390030 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

TD's tagline has quite the oxymoron: Favorite CNBC's anchors.......

Last time I checked, Mark Haines is dead.........

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:36 | 2390043 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

I did some research about this topic, and I found their viewers might have moved on to a little thing called the "Internet." Cable is very 20th century, it's hard to compete against such (natural) selection. My one hope is that Jim Cramer gets to move back into a cardboard box, and he can hype what dumpster will have a pizza box with some cheese still in it, then jump in and fight the rats. If the Lord answers my prayers, I'll see him on bum fights.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:08 | 2390258 duo
duo's picture

I started watching with the sound off a year ago, but now I don't even bother turning CNBC on.  It's the same thing every day. SP500 up, gold bashing, and the economy is growing again (and there's no inflation either).

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:19 | 2390508 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

The Germans used to have two cable channels devoted to financial news, N-TV and N24. After the stock markets imploded and raped the public in such a horribly unlubricated way, viewership tanked to insolvency levels. Result was both networks now do conventional news with a few minutes of talking heads on the DAX floor to keep their access cards valid, and the rest of the day is rammed full of sensational documentaries of comets slamming into the earth, post Carrington Effect results on modern societys, and alien invasions. They advertise a lot of consumer products again and are still around, so somebody saw the writing on the walls and actually read what they saw.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 08:31 | 2390711 duo
duo's picture

I remember tne N-TV anchor in the mornings was pretty hot.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:02 | 2390488 dolly madison
dolly madison's picture

CNN does too much war maching propaganda for my taste.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:58 | 2390551 HomeBrewPrepper
HomeBrewPrepper's picture

My kids grab the remote and change it from cnbc to the Disney channel. I usually dont care cause I'm reading ZH .

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:15 | 2389988 philipat
philipat's picture

Check your facts. CNBC used to be owned by GE.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:22 | 2390000 Michael
Michael's picture

The Ron Paul crew completely stopped watching cable TV news about 3 months ago when they stopped covering him totally and that's when their ratings crashed.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:45 | 2390347 maggiemayok
maggiemayok's picture

I just had to comment on that most excellent observation!  It is TRUE though I hadn't realized it until you said it... Some days?  We don't even turn the television on.  And it IS because of the total absence of Ron Paul coverage.  It was so OBVIOUS!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:24 | 2390011 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Epic Fail aldous

You missed your oppurtunity to bash Sorkin for being a Yid

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:37 | 2390046 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

51:49 split. GE still has a huge stake.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:51 | 2390090 Michael
Michael's picture

Jewtube is no longer relevant in peoples lives. We get our unfiltered news from the internets now.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:04 | 2390120 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Jewtube, baahhhhaaaaaaa!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:14 | 2389977 philipat
philipat's picture

Kernan (The Frog hater) is such an insufferable and arrogant prick I can;t bring myself ever to watch. But CNBC's problems are much bigger. If they stop performing the role of Wall Street's butt licker and start to analyse what is really going on, they might have a chance at turning it around. Also, why don't they put it on the net like Bloomberg?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:30 | 2390026 knukles
knukles's picture

Everybody hopefully has at least one redeeming value and Kernan dislikes the French.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:11 | 2390137 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Fuck the Mona Lisa.  
And the French support for the American Revolution.

Vive La Knuklesdouche. 

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:19 | 2390324 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Mona Lisa was painted in Florence and not by a Frenchman, leonardo de sarkozy Mitterand, nope..  The French backed the us in the revolutionary war becasue they hated / feared the British not because they loved us..  Nations don't have friends they have interests...

Burned another strawman, yeah global warming heating up..

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:52 | 2390352 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Dont confuse him with reality, he is all sophisticated and stuff.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 05:05 | 2390474 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

If it weren't for the French, you'd be speaking with a British accent, sonny.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 22:06 | 2392790 prole
prole's picture

If it weren't for the British, we would all be speaking Gaelic. Cheerio old Pip

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:19 | 2390156 Augustus
Augustus's picture

New Yorkers love frogs.

Frogs devour bed bugs.

Kernan knows that the game is over for the Dumpocraps as the bills are comming due for the unsustainable spending for votes.  If you consider him arrogant because he is correct, then it is you who will have major adjustments on the way.  Liesman will share  with you, for sure.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:24 | 2390010 Jake88
Jake88's picture

You say republican as if it is a dirty word and you believe there is a difference between republican and democrat. You've been duped.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:38 | 2390049 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Joe Kernan licks corporate ass, and in furtherance of this activity repeats GOP talking points ad naseum.

He is unwatchable frat boy, whose only real purpose is to put on knee pads, everytime jack welch's name is mentioned.

The first person i would fire if i was a cnbc producer would be Joe Kernan. Second would be Bob Pisani. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:12 | 2390140 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Thank you Lizzy.

May Joe have another.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:04 | 2390251 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

The first person I would fire is that stupid piece of shit with the waxed unibrow Sorkin. Talk about a shill for Big Brother big government. Every time he talks I wish someone would punch him right in the mouth.

2nd would be Liesman. For the same reasons!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:03 | 2389924 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Cramer turns super-perma-bullish and spouting things like, "Everyone gets long and nobody gets hurt."  Like magic, we never hear another word about the SEC's investigation of Cramer's company, The  Coincidence?  I think not.

Now, even my pre-teen kid knows CNBC is complete sell-side horse shit.

The target audience seems to be the advertisers (bankers) and their insecurity complexes, not the advertisers' customers.  This never works.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:04 | 2389942 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

yep, my HS junior watched Cramer one morning and said, "what an idiot...what moron would buy stocks based on what he said?"

man, I love my boy...oh, and his hobby?...collecting old silver coins.  ZH's future is alive and well folks.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:30 | 2390027 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

I havent watched since Macke's epic flame out.

CNBS couldnt bring itself to bash the bailout of either the banks or GM and showed its true colors as a network run by whores

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:40 | 2390057 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Your giving whores a bad name, they at least work for the money. I watched CNBC, and not one of the female anchors would give me a blowjob.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:08 | 2390132 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

What about Sue HogRerra?  She wouldn't go down?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:53 | 2390095 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

Yes, that and the addition of the Asian chic was it for me.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:53 | 2390096 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

This looks like the same chart as the dollar's purchasing power and Obama's ratings.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:06 | 2390126 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Yeah, Bring in the MDB.  Ha, good one Comay Mierda....  May as well put all the crappy want to be's on there, drive that useless bulls#%t CNBC in the ground. Sucks to think I used to watch that lying crap.

Hell, just get rid of the CNBC network, one less channel to try and skip over.

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 02:01 | 2597961 jaffa
jaffa's picture

Laura Diaz is one of the leading Hispanic television personalities in the nation and a fourteen-time Emmy Award winner. In addition, Diaz has won numerous other honors from industry, community and civic organizations, including several that have recognized her as a pioneer and a role model for young women. Thanks a lot. Regards,

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:07 | 2389952 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

What's next, a financial reality show?  Perhaps they could have a Survivor Financial where everyone tries to line up to get bailed out by Gubmint money.  Or maybe they could drop Cramer, Sorkin, Liesman, those stupid traders, Buffett and his mistress on the morning show, and that stupid English guy on an island and just leave them there.  Well, maybe check back in a couple of years and see how they are doing.  Oh, and have those two hot chicks stand by the big boards in bikinis, not miniskirts.  I'd watch that.  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:29 | 2390019 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Charles Biderman interviewed on FSN remarks “how totally ignorant the media is when it comes to reporting economic numbers put out by the US government”  and something to the effect that financial news people are J school types that couldn’t make it as investigative journalists and are there simply to read and rehash what is put out by the sources.

Worth listening to:

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:39 | 2390052 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


If they would start reporting the truth, they might get their ratings up.

Ironically, such a ratings boost would coincide with their sponsors bailing, for the very same reason.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:55 | 2390103 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture


The truth? …. The truth is they all lie THAT is the truth.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:13 | 2390142 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

If you really want to punish this lying scum media then every single one of you need to man up and cancel your cable. Hit them where it hurts - the wallet. You can do it. You don't need sports or any other excuse. Put your money where your mouth is and act now.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:37 | 2390206 hairball48
hairball48's picture

I cancelled my cabel TV last August. Don't miss TV one bit.

I listen to Bloomberg on XM. And watch the occasional video on the net. Bloomberg has some hot chicks. I wanna fuck Vonnie Quinn. I love that Irish accent. :)

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:50 | 2390429 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Carolyn Hyde. Huge zoomers and a degree from Oxford. Then Angie Lau...I hear it's sideways down there...

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:00 | 2390245 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Hmm 'If they would start reporting the truth, they might get their ratings up.'

Or maybe they'll get sued by the SEC or maybe even get that secret tour of Gitmo they've been hoping for.

The sheeple in the old Soviet Union had a saying about they the quality of reporting from their MSM news

Ne izvestia v Izvestia

i ne pravda v Pravda

There is no news in The News

and there is no truth in The Truth

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 05:35 | 2390483 cossack55
cossack55's picture

and their only sponsor would be Egan-Jones.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:33 | 2390290 dbomb12
dbomb12's picture

That means they would actually have to do work

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:51 | 2389903 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

and Cramer is the best i mean here is a guy who doesn't need to work anymore but he's such a psycho path for attention he needs to be front and center whether acting as a clown at night or diivling his bs during the morning

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:07 | 2389950 Paul Krugman
Paul Krugman's picture

What are you guys talking about, CNBC has a stellar reputation for fair and open minded economic thinking. Cramer is a paragon of trading whose skill is virtually unrivaled . Liesman has a deep understanding of the economy second only to myself. I for one watch CNBC all day inbetween my enlightened blog posts and naps.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:28 | 2390014 ClassicalLib17
ClassicalLib17's picture

You're good krugman, real good.  Your skills are on par with MDB.  Come on M,  you got to answer Krugs with a little of your poetry.  Sing us a song

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:41 | 2390064 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

How about Ron Paul?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:41 | 2390059 theTribster
theTribster's picture

I always thought Psani was the stupidest guy on TV. I was/am convinced that the "floor" sees him coming and makes shit up then laughs when he repeats on the air..."The traders are telling me...I'm an idiot...wait I mean they are waiting for the Fed meeting to end". The only intelligent one, although a far right ultra conservative, was Erin Burnett. she is rather cute too. Now has her on show on CNN or Fox I forget.
Wait, take that back. Dylan Ratifan was good too, he got a little crazy calling out the system though. - I knew he was gonna be gone after some of those awesome rants. Dylan's all right by me. He is somewhere else now as well I think. More and more people avoid the news because it is terrible and the Internet is much better (or worse) source. This is a trend that won't slow down for ANY of the MSM on TV. Media is the thing most diluted by the Internet sine there are so many choices. Fox got it partially right by turning news into entertainment via the creative process even though many viewers think it is news.
Let's face it, there r only a couple personalities that have any integrity in terms of the anchors, they are baffoons. There are no Walter Cronkites anymore, instead we get peckerheads like Bill O'Reilly! Fortunately we can decide not to watch it and I do, like most ZHers I suspect.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:31 | 2390193 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Ratfan was one of Geo Wash's heroes.  The dumb butt kept promoting the idea that the Macondo well had jacked the 15,000 ft of pipe out of the hole and the real leaking wellhead was miles away from the well location.  What was being shown on TV was actually filmed in a studio.  Ratfan kept it up for weeks and weeks.  Certainly there were people who explained the obvious error to him.  He was too arrogant and stupid to even try to understand.  The rest of his "reporting" on conspiracy theories deserve the same regard as his Macondo hot news.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:43 | 2390219 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

ratigans at msnbc at 4pm

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:55 | 2390074 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Dear Paulie baby, all those red downarrow voters need to get a life and quit being jealous of the big fat shiny size of your Nobel prize. You love to stroke it on & off all day don't you!

Seeing you here on Zero Hedge makes me know that we really have made the big time, and all that's left to hope for is a regular spot on CNBC for Tyler. You are the poster boy for how economics is a real true science, and not clown school at all for fat kids who can't get laid. Zero Hedgers just mad that they don't get CNBC saying "Nobel Laureate" before their names. They wish they was Brilliant like you and Obama.

Don't be discouraged by the nattering nabobs of negativity, Paul. Your blog brings a smile to my face and a big laugh to my belly every time I see it, and it's great for my daily binge-&-purge diet too. Did I mention how awesomely sexy grey trimmed little beards and patched elbows are? To women everywhere, I'm serious. Your fat little ivyleague face makes me want to pinch those thick cheeks of yours real hard.

I marked you UP, baby.

Love & big sloppy kisses -

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:04 | 2390123 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

ZeroHedge - Yes folks, you'll come for the articles, but you'll stay for the comments...

Gotta love ZH.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:34 | 2390037 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

I've not watched CNBC since the Bush II Administration. I can't stand it.

Although at the gym they have it on one of the teevees constantly and Michele Caruso-Cabrera - almost always - wearing a plunging neckline. Those are some AAA rated tits.

Sue Herera is still being sold about 5 years past her sell-by date.

Other than that, I hate it.

I think the retail guy and gal have wised up. There is no catalyst for the Dow to trade at these highs and they don't trust the government. I said it before and I said it again, O is going to manufacture a (financial ?) crisis so that he can justify jumping the election queue.  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:08 | 2390133 toady
toady's picture

Agreed on the retail well drying up, and that is nearly the entire cnbs audience.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:09 | 2390135 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

MCC is a horse face,with giant tits. She should tit slap Sorkin in his glass eye.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:14 | 2390143 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Only retards who support hope & change TV/corporate media/Kenyan putch still watch TV.  Morons sleepwalking to the f***ing TSA gulags in HD.  Keep watching idiots.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 22:12 | 2392798 prole
prole's picture

Who are you talking to? Do you know what website you are on idiot?

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:08 | 2391223 oldmanagain
oldmanagain's picture

Trying to pin the decline on the few libs on the shows is missing the mark.  "Trump Tueday" and other stupidities make CNBC unwatchable.  Trying to out do FOX on twisting the news is not a good path for NBC.  Hard to feel sorry for the KOCH brothers.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:46 | 2389890 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

The more ons at Crap, Nothing But Crap are surprised?? I'm surprised it took 10 years for the light to come on..especially since GE brings so many good things to life..

Should be CShil not cnbc

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:54 | 2389891 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

baby boomers are switching to bonds.. They are not going to watch CNBC no matter who is hosting.


The CNBC model is broken.  When investors switch to bond they don't need to tune in to see whether their investment is up or down, like a slot machine.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:09 | 2389960 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Who gives a shit what the baby boomers are doing.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:12 | 2390270 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

The baby boomers and all those who want to separate them from their $$

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 02:18 | 2390367 skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture

We boomers don't need stocks or bonds.  We got our Social and Medicare, thank you very much, kids!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:11 | 2389963 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



The baby boomers that switch to bond funds will all suffer heart attacks when they read their monthly statements after rates shoot up.

"How can this be?  My broker said bonds were safe!"

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:16 | 2389989 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

So, we should invest in health care stocks?  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:26 | 2390016 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Better still, be the beneficiary on a life insurance policy.  Tax free!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:14 | 2390271 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Dude, you're posting on ZeroHedge. You know what you should be investing in.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:21 | 2390444 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

he's from jekyll island... he's a fractional reservist (aka ~ 'we'll hold your money & return only a fraction when you ask for it back')...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:28 | 2389995 philipat
philipat's picture


Agreed. That's why it makes more sense to buy bonds themselves, buy many folks do not understand the difference. It's actually one of the few places that mark to market accounting still applies!!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:53 | 2390088 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Want to know what "many folks" do not understand?  


Portfolio A Portfolio B

Year 1 +7% +15%

Year 2 +7% +15%

Year 3 +7% +15%

Year 4 +7% - 15%



After 4 years, which portfolio did better?





Hint:  Beta kills

Nevertheless, bond sales' commissions are for shit, so equities will always be the darling

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:01 | 2390112 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

It was my understanding that there would be no math.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:26 | 2390118 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



You didn't bring your calculator?  You are totally screwed!!!





I will take pity on the stupid and the drunk.  Portfolio A does better.  You will NEVER see that on CNBC.

It gets harder, not easier, to sell a loser.  Just one of the reasons I never hold a loss past 10%.

Opportunity cost is another.  You can switch to a (hopefully) faster horse in the middle of the race. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:37 | 2390207 Augustus
Augustus's picture

The results you present are what made Bernie Madoff so popular.

Finding the sure thing returning that 7% in a down 15% market is the trick.  Bernie had the solution, for a while.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:18 | 2390277 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Didn't give his play book to Bernanke?

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 12:00 | 2391372 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Portfolio A did better, BUT the results are quite close, 31% vs 29% overall gain - and either one far better than an account at MF Global.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:42 | 2390070 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Just the TIPS baby, I promise........

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:03 | 2390117 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

How will rates shoot up?  They were flat near 0 for nearly 20 years during the first Great Depression.  Treasury bonds that is.

If rates begin to rise, stocks will magically fall to create a "safety" bid.

If that doesn't work, every ask will get hit by a mysterious bidder with infinite capital.  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:35 | 2390161 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



So, your reasoning for buying bond funds instead of bonds you can hold to maturity is because you trust that Bernanke has your back with Infinite QE and ZIRP-4-EVA, plus you just like paying management fees?  

Got it.

Check please!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:41 | 2390302 dbomb12
dbomb12's picture

Nothing like the full faith and credit of the good ol U.S of A

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:48 | 2389893 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

I'm surprised they aren't blaming the weather...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:50 | 2389900 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

low ratings have nothing to do with Sorkin, and a lot to do with ZeroHedge where we can get REAL news

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:02 | 2389931 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

 And now we meet in an abandoned studio
 we hear the playback and it seems so long ago
 and you remember the jingle used to go

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:24 | 2389994 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Zero Hedge killed the money honey gig
Zero Hedge killed the money honey gig
Tyler came and broke their heart
He's country wide he's gone too far

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:51 | 2389907 GS-DickinDaMuppets
GS-DickinDaMuppets's picture

So true, so sad.....I can't wait for the colapse.  I'm like a kid waiting for Santa!


...doing GOD's work...GS-DickinDaMuppets

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:52 | 2389908 TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

Santelli Bitchez!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:25 | 2390175 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Santelli was the only reason I used to watch CNBC, and maybe Mark Haines R.I.P..    

He who tells the truth will be able to have a job when all hell breaks loose, the others will be spit upon.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:53 | 2389909 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

the 24 hour infomercial for the TBTF and the TPTB will be bailed out no matter how low the ratings go!

BTW did anyone catch Bam Bam from the Poppy fields?  I missed it feel asleep during Deadliest Catch....

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:53 | 2389911 xela2200
xela2200's picture

Nobody wants to advertise to the algos watching. One just needs to read the comments in the CNBC blog to realize that nobody believes them.


R.I.P   Mark Heines

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:54 | 2389912 Blagio
Blagio's picture

Thanks TD. This article just made my evening.


BTW, The ratings are transitory. ;)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:54 | 2389914 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

The drop off simply reflects the fact the small retail investor who was formerly dumb enough (like me) to follow CNBC, has wised up. Now, it's like playing Russian roulette every day. Is there a FED bullet in the equity gun, and if so, when is it going to strike?  Or like in Deer Hunter, the only solution is too load all the chambers so that the odds of actually having a FED round in the chamberare so high so that you can be sure to win in a contrarian wager.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:45 | 2390076 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Spot on. They're too stupid to realise that they're killing the very thing they're trying to keep going.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:58 | 2389915 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Andrew Ross Sorkin has been shown as a know nothing disaster.  He is simply clumsey in interviews and persists in promoting nutty Obamacon economics.  His hiring demonstrates that the suits in control of CNBC still believe that Barney Frank was a financial genius.  I thought the squawking turkey Dennis Kneale was the lowest form of "talent" to ever make the airwaves.  Sorkin is many levels below even Kneale in brainless analysis.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:11 | 2389965 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:37 | 2390044 knukles
knukles's picture

What ever happened to Dennis Kneale?
Was he stuffed up a goat's anus or something else Epic?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:45 | 2390075 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Well, sure, that's what they said happened to Dennis...


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:25 | 2390447 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He got a job playing "Beaker" at the new muppet theme park (mostly because he didn't even need a costume)...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:46 | 2390079 DavidC
DavidC's picture

I actually quite like Kneale, at least he came across as genuine unlike LIESman and all those other airhead presenters. I'd like to see him on TV again.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:45 | 2390225 Augustus
Augustus's picture

I believe he has a new gig on Fox Business News.

I cannot believe he will be working with Charlie Gasparino again.  They seemed to genuinely be about to come to blows in some commentary pieces when both were on CNBC.

When first on CNBC they introduced Kneale as the "entertainment correspondent" or something like that.  Then the dumb butt started trying to make market calls, because he felt it.  I suppose that is about as studied as Crammer or Liesman.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:44 | 2390069 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

CNBC administrators sure know how to lose their shirts.

Ther have only been two good journalists at that place, ever... Rick Santelli (a former trader - real world experience) and the late Mark Haines.

The rest are loudmouth, brainless garbage and -quite frankly- ANNOYING.

In the world of data analysis, the CNBC personalities would be referred to as "noise."

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:55 | 2389916 Nid
Nid's picture

Clearly they've targeted the wrong demo....25-54??? CNBC is a cartoon with a cast of ridiculous, childish characters....Saturday mornings might be the ticket.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:57 | 2390106 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Clearly they've targeted the wrong demo....25-54??? CNBC is a cartoon with a cast of ridiculous, childish characters....Saturday mornings might be the ticket.

The new CNBC lineup will be Closing Bell with Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 01:28 | 2390338 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

As long as Hong Kong Phooey gets a slot picking stocks to buy and giving karate chops to US citizenism, Im watching.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:58 | 2389921 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

People don't like to buy a shitty product. What CNBC offers fits that profile.

Unless they begin to hire a bunch of big chested girls with low cut blouses as their on-air talent, it's game over.

Oh, they already tried that so I guess the game is over for them.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:45 | 2390077 SgtSchultz
SgtSchultz's picture

How about putting it on HBO and feature topless squealing bimbos prancing around the set cluelessly pointing to the pretty flashing colors on the “big board”?  I would watch that!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:29 | 2390451 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Or maybe they just need to put girls jumping on trampolines in the background like 'The Man Show' used to do... Or maybe once every hour one of the anchors could spin the 'Wheel of Fate' to see if they would get a swirlie administered by Lou Ferrigno...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:06 | 2390128 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



You have to know what the wheat is vs. the chaff.


Viva La CNBS!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:58 | 2389923 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Quoth the (Irish) Raven:


“With new Jobless Claims so darn high,

Steve Liesman could just softly sigh.

With his theories to totter,

he puked coconut water

all over his stylish repp tie.”

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:20 | 2389997 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Not exactly iambic pentameter, but good effort.  

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:27 | 2390017 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Perhaps you'd prefer:

“There once were payrolls so thin

that not even Steve Liesman could spin.

His excuses, you see,

fit comfortably

onto the head of a pin.”

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:00 | 2389928 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture



This is simply about the "viewers" knowing the real truth of what's happening.  As soon as CNBS executive directors say, "Fuck it, lets throw caution to the wind and start reporting daily the real reason the markets are doing what they're doing", well...that's the day the ratings go through the roof in American Idol like style.

People are fucking sick of being lied to...let the revolution begin.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:13 | 2389976 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

not while this guy Obammy is in office.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:39 | 2390047 knukles
knukles's picture

Thank God mittens the sock puppett's gonna fix that shit.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:42 | 2390068 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Yeah I know ... don't expect me to vote for the same dumbass and expect a different result though.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!