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Citadel Is Pleased To Announce It Is Now Officially An Executive Headhunter, And A Travel Agency To Boot

Tyler Durden's picture




 

You know, just in case that whole investment banking, equity research, high frquency trading, hedge fund thing does not work out, Citadel always has a plan B - to become an executive headunter. From Ken Griffen's annual letter: "We actively follow the careers of countless individuals across the competitive landscape in the interest of finding people who will strengthen our team and enhance our performance. Our talent database contains over 150,000 resumes, of which approximately 25,000 were added in the past twelve months. When recruiting for a given position, we often construct our short list from a pool of more than 100 highly qualified candidates. The decision making process for new hires often extends beyond the traditional interviews."And in case that fails, the company will become a certified travel agent: "Consider these statistics: in 2011, the Global Equities team traveled more than 3,500 days, on more than 1,600 trips, conducting 9,000 meetings with 2,000 different companies." Impressive stuff, and just shows you what one has to do when "expert networks" are no longer part of the picture. Then again the "whole hedge fund thing" may work for just a little bit longer: "We are pleased to report that Citadel Wellington LLC (“Wellington”) and Citadel Kensington Global Strategies Fund Ltd. (“Kensington”) have generated net returns in excess of 20 percent for 2011." Which means that Citadel has passed its high water mark for the first time since after 2007 and can actually collect performance fees and pay bonuses for a terrific job well done: victory!

 

 

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Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:41 | 2090375 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Yes... Finding people who are looking for a job is a real skill these days...

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:47 | 2090398 SteveGennisonBa...
SteveGennisonBallWasher's picture

I hear ya, but seriously, matching what these corps are looking for is nearly impossible.  They are hiring... but most of my openings are people that just do not exist.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:56 | 2090422 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I know what you mean. I'm so sick of my job that I also looked for another job. The same job actually. I'm fucking good at what I do but whenever you go talk to a employer you need to talk 7 languages, have 2 university degrees and take a 3k paycut and forget about the extra's which puts you down another 2k.
The last one that asked my salary said: That's what the boss makes!
I told him: Are you kidding me? That poor sucker!
I didn't even bother listening further.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:58 | 2090432 SteveGennisonBa...
SteveGennisonBallWasher's picture

Ha!  Hear ya loud and clear.  I speak English, Croatian and Spanish.  But work in the US, so it doesn't help.  Most people in the US dont know that Croatia is a country, and well the spanish speaking arent qualified for high end jobs.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:16 | 2090510 lineskis
lineskis's picture

"my openings are people that just do not exist": sure and when you look at the positions, they probably look for a brilliant guy, which is less than 25 years old, speaks 7 languages, has 2 university degrees, 15 years of experience redacting contracts, 10 years of experience in at least 8 different programming languages (including brainfuck and LOLCODE), must be ready to travel 400 days a years and work 32hours a days, for an awesome salary of just over $20k... In short, people that just do not exist, indeed...


Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2090583 thethirdcoast
thethirdcoast's picture

I flew all over the US from Nov 09 until Nov 10 looking for a new position and my experience was very similar to yours. I would add that the technical memory expectations are getting ridiculous as well. If you're an electrical engineer interviewers expect you to perform design problems from from DC to light cold from memory with some mechanical aspects thrown in for good measure.

The only offer I managed was a start up that had bilked my state out of millions in tax dollars to reuse an office complex to create 300 high-tech jobs. I don't regret turning them down because their interview process was too easy and they needed salesmen, not engineers to set up shop and start selling into the local market. Needless to say I don't think they've created any of the jobs they promised the state.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2090601 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

Can you build a proper sandwich or slice bologna thin enough to see through with out riping it.  Are you willing ot learn how to run a deli.  No education required just some training costumer service.

Save your monty and open a deli but, Oh i forgot government doesn't want small business only larg Iphone crap, my mistake.

Carry on.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:05 | 2090668 chet
chet's picture

Employers used to look for potential, then train the person.  Now you have to somehow know everything about the business before you even get the interview. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:09 | 2090674 Cadavre
Cadavre's picture

If you go through on line jonb sites - beware - all they are doing is collecting enough "unqualified" job applicants to help whoever the site placed the "help wanted" [ad] for. to meet the minimum requirements fer all them free tax subsidies and benefits that are packaged with an HIB hire. They even have seminars (Youtube) to help corporate HR departments understand the requirements needed to get free money from the tax payer for denying them a job, and, instead, hiring an H1B. GE, ATT, Qualcomm, IBM, Microsoft, GM get subsidies for off shoring boiler plate service jobs and database administration (I hate it when a company representative with a thick Filipino accent asks how's the weather in "___________" (fill in the blank with the name of the call recipient's city). New issue: India has recently agreed to transact with Iran (in Rupees) - is that a sanction violation - o well - India is not even a signatories on the Non Proliferation Treaty.

In the new "hire anyone but an American if you are a US corporation" world, Citadels unique position as both a "head hunter" and a "travel agent" makes perfect sense. Heck - we'll probably get shit loads loads of Shin Bet chaperoned "Israeli Art Students" knocking on doors and selling their wares, after hours, at US military and critical infrastructure centers, From the San Diego Reader (you'd think with all the excuses H1B welfare corps sell us that no one in San Diego has the skill sets to read!):

The late Nobel Prize–winning economist Milton Friedman called H-1B a corporate subsidy. “It’s corporate welfare,” says Norman Matloff, professor of computer science at the University of California Davis. The H-1B program “is fundamentally about cheap labor,” he says. Foreign workers are often paid less than their American counterparts. “Most H-1Bs are under 30, and since younger workers are cheaper than older ones in both wages and health care costs, employers use the H-1B program to avoid hiring older [those over 35 years of age] Americans,” Matloff says on his website.

(one would think the Milt would be all for that kind of cagatha!)

A VERY STRATEGIC MOVE CITADEL (Hustler rating: 3/4 boner - Question: How tender `n sweet are the tenderloins of Citadel offspring?)

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2090575 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

If i was sure i could find people who would do the job properly maybe i would start a business but given the quality of survice i still receive that is unlikely. So yes finding people who are not offended when you show them how things should be done is still a problem.

 

Thu, 05/17/2012 - 04:49 | 2434388 jaffa
jaffa's picture

Executive search is the process of recruiting individuals to fill senior executive positions in organizations. Executive search may be performed by an organization's board of directors, or by an outside executive search firm hired by the organization. Thanks.
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Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:42 | 2090377 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Citadel is a major player in HFT arb.  Bet they mostly search out statisticians with specialty in data mining, and, of course, computer algo programmers.  

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:42 | 2090379 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

these guys have a future in carbon credits!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:46 | 2090390 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Yeah :) i wonder how those are doing :)
And remember those weather futures?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 06:15 | 2091698 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Slewie, Sudden Debt... Citadel saved the money shot for the last sentence...

"Which means that Citadel has passed its high water mark for the first time since after 2007 and can actually collect performance fees and pay bonuses for a terrific job well done: victory!"

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:45 | 2090385 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Average duration of a job at Citadel = 0.75 Years.

...you want to give your hard-earned money to these people...why?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:45 | 2090388 SteveGennisonBa...
SteveGennisonBallWasher's picture

fukking douchebags.  I'm an exec recruiter.  Said the same stuff I did when I got started 4 yrs ago.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 17:47 | 2090401 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Can i interest you in a kanban or a colour test?

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 19:07 | 2090666 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

I feel bad for you. Like eating bad clams. Every "exec" ive met needed to have his throat ripped out. They are all the same.

Over cofident, over ambitous and over talkative. Never substance or reality always talk and future with them.

Fukking douchebags all. Yes they will say anything but what do they return? and how do they return it?

You need good ma and pa people who know the game and can do right by clients large and small because large clients watch how you treat smaller clients.

Best of luck to you. hopefully you dont get sued to offten, and if you do best of luck to you.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 11:28 | 2092430 John Bull
John Bull's picture

Indeed, Citadel are a bunch of cunts. No scruples, a bunch of hyenas on financial crack that will do anything to get richer, more powerful.

They are good at automating stuff, bad at managing exceptions. The whole Altana super dividend thing costed them dearly. I would think twice if i had any money invested in their funds. Too much focus, in all their activities, on visible stuff, not so much on fat tails.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:16 | 2090513 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

Still number 10 in the ytd returns list - shitadel.

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:43 | 2090602 Bohemian Clubber
Bohemian Clubber's picture

"Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results. Estimated performance is as of December 31, 2011,is unaudited, and subject to change. Performance is net of accrued performance or manager allocations, if any, and expenses. Individual investor returns may differ from the composite fund return depending on the timing of capital contributions and allocation of non pro-rata income items, as applicable"

LOL


Mon, 01/23/2012 - 18:49 | 2090617 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

If Citadel was an NFL team, they'd have missed out on Tom Brady like every other team did six rounds straight.

Class of 2000, 199th overall pick in the 6th round of the draft. 6 quarterbacks picked ahead of him.

5 Superbowls in 11 years. 9x pro bowl, 2x Superbowl MVP, 2x NFL MVP....  

Talent. I'm so sick of these idiots thinking they've got a lock on the ability to search for talent. You'd think they were all perfect. 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 21:03 | 2090959 Jackfish
Jackfish's picture

You're right about Brady but he is really the outlier rather than the rule.

If you look at the rest of whomever you consider to be the top quarterbacks in the NFL you will quickly note that everyone recognized the talent available.

A Rodgers             1st round 24th pick

D Brees                 2nd round 1st pick (Michael Vick was same year 1st round 5th pick)

Peyton Manning    1st overall pick

Eli Manning            1st overall pick

Ben R                     1st round 11th pick

Matt Stafford          1st overall pick

And historically speaking the great quarterbacks were taken early as well from Elway, Testeverde and Aikman who were all the overall first pick.

I'm sure that the math genuises on this site could calculate how many standard deviations Brady's 199th pick is from the average draft position of a starting NFL QB let alone the great QBs.  Well above my pay grade.

 

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 21:36 | 2091065 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

I seem to recall a Citadel Escort Agency (right next to a strip joint) on W 33rd St that I recently passed (hastily, I might add) when  I had to venture into that rat-hole called Penn Station....

Dont tell me they've branched out in that  business as well ? Shirley not!

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 21:34 | 2091066 celticgold
celticgold's picture

Winning!....

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 00:25 | 2091409 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture

 

Here are a few more 1st round picks at QB.....

Jim Druckenmiller,Todd Marinovich and Dan McGwire (1991) or Tim Couch and Cade McNown (1999),Ryan Leaf, QB, (1998),  

 Art Schlichter, QB, Baltimore Colts (1982),  Rick Mirer, Steve Pisarkiewicz, QB, St. Louis Cardinals (1977) ,Patrick Ramsay, QB, Washington Redskins (2002)....

 

all NFL losers..well except Ramsay. He's at least thrown for 34 TD's against 29 int's.

 

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 06:21 | 2091705 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Drew Brees is as good as any of them and probably better considering the teams he has played with.

Brees was taken in the second round behind a guy that is an outstanding qb with some quirky ideas about how your dogs should be treated.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 08:16 | 2337205 jaffa
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