• Steve H. Hanke
    05/04/2016 - 08:00
    Authored by Steve H. Hanke of The Johns Hopkins University. Follow him on Twitter @Steve_Hanke. A few weeks ago, the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) sprang a surprise. It announced that a...

Citi Earnings Bloodbath: $3.8 Billion ($1.23/Share) In Reported "Earnings" Really $0.5 Billion Or $0.16/Share

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Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:17 | 1780816 depression
depression's picture

#GreenShoots

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:36 | 1780863 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Surrealistic Pillow talk. Wunderland stuff smoking and mirroring spreads and fall-down CDS counterparty support.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:04 | 1780935 trav7777
trav7777's picture

C didn't make any money...who is shocked by this?

At least they didn't lose eleventy billion like past quarters.  There isn't going to be profit growth in the aggregate going forward...we're not in the Age of Growth any longer

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:57 | 1781072 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

I'm sure everything is just fine over at Citi...

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 15:34 | 1782531 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

 

Potemkin had to build actual fake frontages of his imaginary villages; C needs only to chat amongst itself.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:03 | 1780934 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Green shoots, red streams, same difference. 1.23 or 0.16, who cares? It is all worthless.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:44 | 1781032 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

Of course it was a bloodbath. 

That is why apologist Reuters is running, "Citigroup Beats Street, Sets Aside Less to Cover Bad Loans." The Powers That Be simply cannot be seen with even a single protein molecule of egg on their faces.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 13:54 | 1782155 andybev01
andybev01's picture

Are you that's not another protein molecule?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 20:19 | 1783620 StychoKiller
Tue, 10/18/2011 - 01:39 | 1784221 VegasRage
VegasRage's picture

LMAO! Awesome hilarity. 

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:15 | 1780809 trampstamp
trampstamp's picture

We're going to need a bigger vault

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:16 | 1780810 cossack55
cossack55's picture

A little optomistic on the tubes learning curve.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:37 | 1780867 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Yup. And there's your preview of the squid which should be VERY interesting.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:16 | 1780811 Irish66
Irish66's picture

FAZulous

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:17 | 1780812 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Time to max out your Citi visa card boys and girls!

and settly to pay back 1/5 of the amount for total redemption of the rest of the amount! :)

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:17 | 1780815 jcaz
jcaz's picture

LOL-  as a former Citi Investment Services exec, I can say with certainty that they are even fluffing the 16 cents.......

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:20 | 1780824 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

What do you mean by 'fluffing', what exactly goes on in Citit?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:22 | 1780830 trampstamp
Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:24 | 1780977 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

Genius.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:24 | 1780835 depression
depression's picture

subtract out the $1.9 Billion CDS on itself, that is priceless...Time to throw a TARP over Citi

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:28 | 1780848 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Tell your avatar to get to it. (Avatar is actual size of the real Timmay, by the way.)

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:31 | 1780855 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Is it true that part of the bonus at Citi and the other TBTF are stock options...put options? Seems to be the better deal all things considered....

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:59 | 1780920 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

They're giving out CDS as bonuses, right after they buy it and generate all that revenue, of course.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:06 | 1780942 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Run into the ground by none other than the White House friend and Wall Street insider Robert the con man Rubin.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:18 | 1780817 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. (and german media eating the bait.. CHEERIO)

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:19 | 1780820 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Sets the stage nicely for the rest of financial 'earnings' reports...

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:19 | 1780821 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

i should be learning how to work these banks' magic on my P&L statement especially if i want  a loan from one them.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:20 | 1780823 jhcullen
jhcullen's picture

I am now more excited for the weekdays than the weekends... The unraveling is intense

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:21 | 1780825 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Citi earnings are, without fluff and accounting tricks, really losses, i.e. negative.  Pandit the Bandit will not let his ego get in the way of a truckload of fluff though.   

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:22 | 1780827 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

How in the world this "earnings report" passes muster with even the most positive perma-bull is beyond any rational comprehension

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:29 | 1780849 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

The bulls are happy that C picked up some European debt, there's only one direction that stuff can go

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:23 | 1780832 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Cannot wait to see the Squid's CVA adjustment.  We should start a betting pool here.  I bet $1.22.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:24 | 1780833 jdelano
jdelano's picture

Hilarious.  On Bloomberg Tom immediately called horseshit on C's beat while Ken flailed desperately to spin it gold.  Interpretation?

Tom = at least smart enough to be out or short

Ken = still humping his 201K.  

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:27 | 1780840 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

The banks must be seeing something that we aren't since they can release more of their loan loss reserves.  Those OccupyWallStreet folks are going to feel a bit silly when the US storms back out of a recession in like 2 weeks and pulls out some China type growth.  There will be so many jobs people won't know what to do.  

Isn't it odd that banks could buy CDS on themselves? They already build into their employees the short termed thinking of you benefit from any upside and don't see any of the downside but now the entire firm will be operating on we'll pick up some extra revenue the closer we get to bankruptcy?  They hold the country hostage being too big to fail and then they try everything they can to actually fail.  Hopefully the Occupy Wall Street movement will help some saavy politicans realize that they could benefit from creating policies that help out the actual citizens of the US instead of the corporations that are trying to run the country into the ground.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:36 | 1780860 depression
depression's picture

New York Police Department said at least 88 protesters were arrested in New York on Saturday and overnight, including two dozen for trespassing at a Citibank branch and 45 in Times Square.

On Sunday, President Obama honoured Martin Luther King at a dedication to a new memorial on National Mall in Washington. Referring to protests that have spread from Wall Street to London, Rome and elsewhere, Mr Obama said: “Dr King would want us to challenge the excesses of Wall Street without demonising those who work there.”

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:07 | 1780947 trav7777
trav7777's picture

another boondoggle on the Mall, and of course "mistakes were made" but nobody is actually culpable.  Everyone was just "doing their job" and "following orders," just like Wall Street.

Why isn't the MLK memorial 556' tall?  He is literally the most significant person who ever existed, as he invented dreaming.  We need more streets, buildings, memorials for MLK.  And at least 2 or 3 more holidays.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:20 | 1780967 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

There's probably a 'banking holiday' in the near future...

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:50 | 1781050 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Find an MLK boulevard near you and drive down it. It will be completely self-evident this smiley asshole is spot on.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:50 | 1781917 rpboxster
rpboxster's picture

I don't recommend driving down any MLK street.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:25 | 1780841 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Citi up pre-market, of course.

Incredible.  Simple incredible.  <golf clap>

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:33 | 1780858 tim73
tim73's picture

Pre-markets are almost always up because the early morning coke deliveries.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:09 | 1780951 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Heh heh heh...Luv it...

Desperate Manipulation...

Sorta brings to mind= Dinosaurs in the Tar Pits..!  

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 09:38 | 1781016 DeltaDawn
DeltaDawn's picture

The new golf clap is called "upward sprinkles".

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:27 | 1780845 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

But...don't the expectations take the CVA adjustments into account now?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:27 | 1780846 MRSAP
MRSAP's picture

Same bullshit like JPM. Extra money made by CVA/CDS

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:30 | 1780853 Forgiven
Forgiven's picture

Tyler that's not a problem for Citi, that's their game plan.  All they have to do is wrap themselves even tighter to Europe.  They and the rest of the TBTF banks will all force a global collapse and whether we like a global federal government or not, it will be forced upon us by the banksters.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:31 | 1780854 tim73
tim73's picture

This is so sad...even Our Dear Banks cannot make money by making money?!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:32 | 1780856 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Can't they just buy some encouraging signage for the Frogs like they do for the American girls and boys at Bailout Ballpark?

 

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 08:34 | 1780859 HITMAN56
HITMAN56's picture

Citi acct got hacked while in Asia last month...didn't even have to close acct...they did it for me...sometimes its better to be lucky than right...

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