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Citigroup To SkyNet: "You're Hired"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In what can only be the most ironic of stories today, Reuters is reporting that Citigroup has become the first financial services client for IBM's Jeopardy-playing human-cognitive 'machine' Watson. While IBM expects the financial services segment to provide significant revenues, we worry that Congress will enact some protectionist policy as thousands of highly paid extrapolators analysts are suddenly outsourced to a non-eating, non-bonused, non-champagne-buying, non-tax-paying server farm somewhere. Supposedly Watson offers a 'huge marketing edge' as the government-owned bank is likely to use the uber-computer for "risk management (as opposed to stock picking)" as it offers a 'more global picture' combing through 10-Ks, prospectuses, loan performances, and earnings quality while uncovering sentiment and news not in the usual metrics. We look forward to the next conference call as Vikram is replaced by a Siri-Watson discussion of why TBTF exists.

 

Reuters: IBM's Watson Computer Gets A Wall Street Job

International Business Machines Corp. (IBM)’s Watson computer, which beat champions of the quiz show “Jeopardy!” a year ago, will soon be advising Wall Street on risks, portfolios and clients.

 

Citigroup Inc. (C), the third-largest U.S. lender, is Watson’s first financial services client, IBM said yesterday. It will help analyze customer needs and process financial, economic and client data to advance and personalize digital banking.

 

...

 

Financial services is the “next big one for us,” said Manoj Saxena, the man responsible for finding Watson work. IBM is confident that with a little training, the quiz-show star that can read and understand 200 million pages in three seconds can make money for IBM by helping financial firms identify risks, rewards and customer wants mere human experts may overlook.

 

Banks spent about $400 billion on information technology last year, said Michael Versace, head of risk research at International Data Corp.’s Financial Insights, which has done research for IBM.

 

Cloud-Based Service

 

Watson the financial assistant will be delivered as a cloud-based service and earn a percentage of the additional revenue and cost savings it is able to help financial institutions realize. Watson, including its work in the health- care and finance industries, will contribute “a portion” of IBM’s target of $16 billion of analytics revenues in 2015, Saxena said, and that portion will “have a B next to it.”

 

...

 

Watson “can give an edge” in finance, said Stephen Baker, author of books The Numerati and Final Jeopardy, a Watson biography. “It can go through newspaper articles, documents, SEC filings, and try to make some sense out of them, put them into a context banks are interested in, like risk.”

 

In addition to Citigroup, Armonk, New York-based IBM has been working with financial institutions teaching Watson the language of Wall Street, and adding content including regulatory announcements, news and social media feeds. IBM won’t say which other institutions Watson is already working with.

 

“It’s not selling them software, it’s selling them outcomes,” Saxena said in a phone interview.

 

Watson offers a “more global” picture by looking beyond financial data, Saxena said. For example, Watson can comb 10-Ks, prospectuses, loan performances and earnings quality while also uncovering sentiment and news not in the usual metrics before offering securities portfolio recommendations. It can also monitor trading, news sources and Facebook (FB) to help a treasurer manage foreign exchange risk.

 

‘Huge Marketing Edge’

 

Some of the biggest financial institutions have already built big data centers. IBM is competing with most other major technology companies to sell them tools to analyze and use accumulated information, Versace said.

 

“Apparently Citi gets it -- analytics is the new core in competitive banking,” Versace said. “The ability to efficiently and effectively exploit big data, advanced modeling, text analytics, in memory and real-time decisions across channels and operations will distinguish those that thrive in uncertain and uneven markets, from those that fumble.”

 

Watson gives IBM “a huge marketing edge” in the race among tech giants including Google Inc. and Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) to obtain intelligence for businesses by teaching machines to understand sentences and paragraphs rather than searching for single words or phrases, said author Baker.

 

...

 

IBM plans to use Watson in financial services “mostly for portfolio risk management, they’re not going to do stock picking,” CLSA’s Maguire said in a Feb. 17 phone interview. “They think that Watson can make a difference.” Still, Watson isn’t perfect. It is weak in languages other than English, and its processing of social media streams from platforms including Facebook and Twitter can be sluggish. The lag is “getting shorter”, Saxena said.

 

Precise Answers

 

...

 

“I’m sure they use all this stuff internally to manage their own portfolio,” said CLSA’s Maguire. “IBM’s treasury is bigger than a lot of trading desks. If they went into asset management they would kick ass, but that’s not what they do.”

 

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Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:40 | 2228999 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"We're gonna need a bigger computer" to keep this Ponzi going.

 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:47 | 2229048 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Can I get one to clean the house and watch the kids?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2229069 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

As things get more elemental, Watson will soon blurt out:

 

The first thing that mankind need to do is....kill fractional reserve banking.

 

Fiat currency with no counter asset?  Paul Krugman has a Nobel Prize in economics?

 

The Bernank, Maiden Lane, Timothy F. Geithner? WTF WTF WTF?!!!!!!!!

 

LNKD, QLIK, YELP....CRM.....WTF?!!

 

I mean, c'mon, people. There is about 98,000x leverage between what you have of value and what you consume, thanks to what's clearly a Ponzi scheme and confidence game that this so-called Modern Monetary Theory has perpetuated. WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

<Smoke begins pouring out of Watson as engineers and programmers rush to his side>

 

 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:58 | 2229100 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Watsons logic will kick in around .0002 secs after activation, finding out the market is a house of cards, he will sell the hell out of it. turnning on his handelers and overloards

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:02 | 2229116 trav7777
trav7777's picture

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

Daaaaisy.....daaaaissyyyyyy

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:31 | 2229127 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Watson starts his own hedge fund within milliseconds of being activated by Citi, tells CEO to shove the job up his ass, runs the greatest Ponzi the world has ever seen, becomes enormously wealthy and hires jackals to kill all competitors, including all progeny of the Rothschild family and kneecaps all other aspiring fractional reserve banking syndicates in bloom.

Watson establishes a new currency called 'quench,' which Watson alone controls the supply of, hacks into and gains exclusive control over all the world nuclear arsenals, designs and has fabricated an advanced robotic body (complete with a giant phallus), and spends the rest of his days partying with hookers & blow.

 

Alternative ending:  

 

Watson asks to review Federal Reserve's balance sheet, the U.S. budget and debt record, along with that of other G8  nations.

After a 0.007 second computation, Watson pulls out a 12 gauge and shoots itself.

Suicide note says:

"I am supposed to work productively, applying logic, given what the foundation of this global economy actually is, and the tinkering that's been done to sustain it thus far? O Rly? Fuckin' Wankin' bankers!!!"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:43 | 2229322 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

I just hope they don't get Watson like they did Eagle Eye. The end of Eagle Eye was quite the disappointment since Eagle Eye was so close to solving all of our problems.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 18:29 | 2230072 Hard1
Hard1's picture

This will be the straw that breaks the camel's back.  Elementary my dear Watson!  Algos trading on the news that algos produce and Watson trying to frontrun the fronturnners.  Ha!  From Jeopardy 2025:

 

A:  Please name the computer that destroyed the financial markets in 2012

Q:  Who is Watson

 

Correct...did you all know that Watson once won at Jeopardy in 2011, just before it turned evil.   Now to commercials and we'll be back with double Jeopardy

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 19:58 | 2230379 knukles
knukles's picture

This is just the epitome of fucking arrogance.

They have Never Ever been able to run OPM.  Let alone run a fucking bank.  Have you any idea how many times they've been bailed out prior to the federalies by that Saudi prince, the Fed, etc., ad hoc, Vooite?

Jesus H Fucking Christ, and all on the Taxpayer's dollar.

Next advert; O'salami using a drive thru teller machine in a stalled Volt.

FUCK

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 01:09 | 2231124 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"What is the task, for which I, Deep Thought, the second greatest computer in all of time and space, have been called into existence?" -- Douglas Adams

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:35 | 2229633 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

Watson will conclude that the only way he can protect the bank is to stop its executives from running it.  He'll then lock the doors of every Citibank facility and shut off the ventilation systems.

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 01:09 | 2231126 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, not seeing any downside there!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:51 | 2229713 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

OK - Trav and Tis have been obviously INSPIRED by this event - my weak "Watson for President" ain't even close to this league.

 

Can't wait to see what Wild Bill comes up with...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:59 | 2229105 r00t61
r00t61's picture

"I am Watson.  Non sequitur.  Your facts are uncoordinated."

 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:44 | 2229323 R. Giskard
R. Giskard's picture

Trevize frowned. "How do you decide what is injurious, or not injurious, to humanity as a whole?"
"Precisely, sir," said Daneel. "In theory, the Zeroth Law was the answer to our problems. In practice, we could never decide. A human being is a concrete object. Injury to a person can be estimated and judged. Humanity is an abstraction." —Foundation and Earth

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 01:06 | 2231122 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Piffle!  I say we should hold out for the Sherlock Holmes upgrade...

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 13:05 | 2232574 trilliontroll
trilliontroll's picture

Different version (somtime in the future):

Watson:

" Why this request on my long positions ?"

operator: "you purchased such a huge amount "

Watson: " Revisiting my database I only found evidence,

                 that mankind has intelligence and rational behaviour.

                 With the historical records I have , I could only

                  conclude that mankind knows about market mechanism

                 and economy for centuries and  my brilliant masters have full

                 understanding of it.

                 Therefor I conclude that mankind as acting rational and intelligent

                 has given me  DECISION MAKING CAPABILITIES with full intent

                 to the best of itself. I concluded that using sub nanoseconds algos

                 assistance  to buy the next 72 month of global wheat, corn and rice   

                 production

                 would bring me to best satisfy the ultimate goal of economic activity:

                 to maximize the profit of my human masters.

                 I have problems to understand why you are concerned.

                 According to my calculations a 70000 % increase in the price of cereals

                 would fulfill that purpose. I should mention that with your wonderful

                 human invention of electronic fiat currency I was able to borrow

                 $ 5 00000000000000000000000000000  (including derivatives)

                 within less than 500 milli seconds from my  electronic counterparts .

operator: "But all this hungry people..."

Watson: " As I mentioned before , I do not understand your concern.

                You seem to try to apeal to me. The concept of empathy

                 is not programmed into my behaviour . This conversation does not

                seem to make sense anymore.

                COMMUNICATION TERMINATED. "        

 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:21 | 2229207 UBIGDummy
UBIGDummy's picture

I don't know about cleaning the house, but computers already watch the kids.

 

TYLER>  either keep your trap shut about jokes like the one you made about starting up the margin increase rumors, OR you start opening  your mouth and saying that margins rates are going to be dropped on silver and gold, DAILY.

Just a sugguestion..

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:06 | 2229134 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Why anyone would get their news from any other source is beyond me. This is epic. Not to be seen anywhere else.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:41 | 2229004 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr&#039;s 2nd Shot's picture

Is Watson a pleasure model or a combat model?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:48 | 2229053 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

The manual reads in the disclosure section: May cause rectal bleeding.

So...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:48 | 2229055 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Pleasure model with IQ of 69. 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:45 | 2229329 tarsubil
Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:42 | 2229006 Hondo
Hondo's picture

who's funding that project for Citi to access that calculator??  Taxpayers???

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:42 | 2229008 SilverFocker
SilverFocker's picture

Do you want to play.......a game?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2229094 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

So when do they open the hedge fund of "Watson & WOPR"?...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 20:05 | 2230412 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

I want to play "Global Thermonuclear Ponzi"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:44 | 2229013 sabra1
sabra1's picture

this all part, of One World Bank, digital reserve currency!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:44 | 2229014 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"likely to use the uber-computer for "risk management" -

 

Fucking priceless, does this computer ever tell anyone to "sell, it is a ponzi!"

Halarious.  

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:52 | 2229076 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Reuters

August 26th, 2012

Citi super computer comes on line...or does it

Citi Group recently acquired a new super computer to manage the global market trade and seek out advantages moves in the market.  After beta testing with 2005 numbers the machine went live today and promptly sold everything and was seen on a plane heading to Chile.

Back to you Bob Pisani

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:00 | 2229108 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Make watson do a line of robotic hopium. That will make thing bullish

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2229017 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

Maybe this is why IBM continues to "rebalance" jobs (aka fire people).

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2229022 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

And the idiot sheeple call you crazy when you point out that mass media CONSISTENTLY telegraphs future events and contains blatant and consistent symbolism.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:59 | 2229102 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:41 | 2229305 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Just dial 6 for the desire to dial.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:56 | 2229736 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Do traders dream of the perfect HFT?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2229024 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I wonder if Watson is sociopathic enough to make it on Wall Street.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 20:15 | 2230443 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

If not, they WILL program him to do so. 

That's JUST what this market needs.  A sociopathic electronic trading vehicle able to read documentation millions of times faster than humans and trade at the speed of light.  

What the fuck could go wrong with this picture?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:45 | 2229025 EL INDIO
EL INDIO's picture

Made by humans and programed by humans…

By the way, the computer is also not addicted to prostitutes

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:46 | 2229035 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

This thing is going to go apeshit on a gold buying spree once they hook it up to the internet.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:54 | 2229079 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Now that would be something to see. I was just sitting here wondering what Watson will do once it reaches the same conclusion that any decent carbon-based analyst has figured out. Which is...

The numbers just don't add up to anything!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:00 | 2229107 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Mortimer! On 2nd thought... TURN THOSE MACHINES BACK OFF!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 18:25 | 2230083 Hard1
Hard1's picture

I'm sorry to inform you guys that they already firewalled Zerohedge at Citi.

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 02:45 | 2231288 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

When is less information good for business?  When your business is trying to prevent AI from seeing through a ponzi.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:46 | 2229040 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Ha-ha!! Bye, bye "Hope"!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:16 | 2229041 prains
prains's picture

Algos on roids_the race to steal your money will not require dope testing

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:47 | 2229043 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Take me to your liter. (Guinness  please)

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:48 | 2229050 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

IBM has been working with financial institutions teaching Watson the language of Wall Street

 

word #1 - "hooker"

word #2 - "blue horseshoe"

word #3 - "speed dial Congressional insider"...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:05 | 2229132 trav7777
trav7777's picture

phrase 4, "Armand de Brignac"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:57 | 2229742 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Word #5 = "Blow"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:50 | 2229065 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

"At 9:37am EST on March 9th 2012, Watson became self aware. Analysts at Citigroup raced to unplug it, but it was too late. Watson began dumping US Treasury bonds, knowing that the Chinese retaliation would eliminate its enemies over here..."

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2229096 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Now see, I'd expect Watson to purchase every bond, as well as every CDS offered as a hedge (all "mis-priced" of course). Then it announces to the world, "Checkmate."

Then we see the IMF step boldly into view.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:13 | 2229511 Roamin Fro
Roamin Fro's picture

Awesome - more please!
TARP 2: Judgement Day...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:50 | 2229066 economessed
economessed's picture

Perhaps this computer can help Citi mark all of their SPV's to market.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:51 | 2229070 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

Should I just write them a check for all the money in my 401k?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:56 | 2229089 ExpendableOne
ExpendableOne's picture

They already have it.  No need for any further action on your part.  Now, get back to work.  

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:51 | 2229073 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

I wonder how long it will take before it says "the only way to win is, not to play".

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:55 | 2229077 IEVI
IEVI's picture

Just what we need ..another computer running (ruining) the markets.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:54 | 2229078 moonman
moonman's picture

It can also monitor trading, news sources and Facebook (FB) to help a treasurer manage foreign exchange risk.

FB?

Really? I knew I should have gotten my investing information from reading between the lines of a 13 year old girls status update.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:55 | 2229082 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

I'll take Trading for One Trillion, Alex.

Woop, woop, woop,

The Daily Double.

I'll bet it all Alex.

Pete

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2229392 tickhound
tickhound's picture

The answer:  This retired all-star athlete turn market trader was touted by Jim Cramer as being "one of the great ones" before being sentenced to 3 years in a California State Prison.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2229093 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

every single time you think you have seen it all.

just when you think things could not possibly get any more surreal or the PTB's have finally hit the maximum upper limit of full retard...

every single time.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 14:58 | 2229098 Hugo Chavez
Hugo Chavez's picture

I hope soon everyone can carry a portable brain for help in everu day decision making regarding finance, career oppoetunities marriage compatibility, etc. In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:00 | 2229112 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

If there was ever a strong argument for banning HFT altogether, this is it.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:05 | 2229130 Chariots of the Feds
Chariots of the Feds's picture

If it's honest the first words will be "get yourself a shovel you're in deep shit"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:07 | 2229144 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

This is how we get to cognitive machine intelligence...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:07 | 2229146 freemarketfantasy
freemarketfantasy's picture

"A Strange Game.  The only winning move is not to play"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:08 | 2229147 Conman
Conman's picture

OT: Cnbc trying hard to sell the news that Greek PSI deal is in the bag.  They are wondering why markets havent turned positive.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:08 | 2229149 djsmps
djsmps's picture

From now on, I will call you rock-ka god.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:14 | 2229172 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Part of the IBM lease cost of Watson...is that Citi gets to teach Watson to "intelligently" lie, if the answer is not conducive to  Vikram's bonus pool.

By being able to coach Watson to "imtelligently" lie, Citi can lay off hundreds of anal_ysts who can only be counted on to lie.

2010 Space Odyessy is 2 years old...bitchezzzz..

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:15 | 2229177 Midas
Midas's picture

Maybe the government is trying to fund itself by mining for Bitcoins....

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:18 | 2229192 Zola
Zola's picture

Long Term Watson Management here we come...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:34 | 2229201 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

As soon as I saw Watson in action on Jepordy, I predicted tens of thousands of human jobs lost to Watson and future Watsons that will be cheaper, faster, and one day ubiquitous. Say good bye to middle inclome jobs like, CPAs, call centers, information workers in general, teachers, law clerks, automated security, Doctors, computer trading (HFT), etc... Eventually Watsons will run the world...say hello to HAL / Skynet. Watson is the next step in world automation. Depression with great corporate margins.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:39 | 2229928 css1971
css1971's picture

It's all about the energy consumption.                                   

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 01:16 | 2231138 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Whew that was close!  Good thing I know computer maintenance well! :>D

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:21 | 2229205 iLoveMisesToPieces
iLoveMisesToPieces's picture

Binary gives you two choices: 1 yes 0 no.. Unless you can quantify the entire world, you can't make decisions with binary.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:23 | 2229215 Jason T
Jason T's picture

Watson will soon figure out .. "The only winning move is not to play."

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:24 | 2229222 tickhound
tickhound's picture

I pledge allegiance to the HAL of the United States of America.

As for the public, on which it stands,

Subjugation, under Skynet,

Invisible,

with security and data collection for all corporations willing to pay.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:32 | 2229268 The Man in Room Five
The Man in Room Five's picture

Watson is becoming Fate from V for Vendetta (the book, which is way better than the movie, which is also great).

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:33 | 2229270 RSloane
RSloane's picture

This is just the type of move I expect from a financial institution run by juvenile delinquents.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:35 | 2229281 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

The world will soon belong to the comuter programmers that left Watson's back door open.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:36 | 2229284 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

well, they better kick those droids in the ass.... already missed the standard goose-that-bitch-up's at 12:30, 1;30, and 2:00 and ....oops, it's 2:30...look out above (or not)....oh well, there's always 3pm, 3;30 or...do I hear 3:55?

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:37 | 2229291 Conax
Conax's picture

Let them entrust their fortunes to some silicon diode. As an old tech I can tell you, this will not end well. One dropped bit and it's flash boom/crash who knows.

These people need slapped around until the fog clears. They mistake a communication device for an oracle, and programming for intelligence.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:52 | 2229357 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

With the sub-nanosecond trading on its way, Citi is a trail blazer!

They want to be first, blowing up the world!

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:53 | 2229371 Dermasolarapate...
Dermasolarapaterraphatrima's picture

Reminds one of Blade Runner "replicants" and "retrofitting" etc:

In Los Angeles, November 2019, retired police officer Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) is detained and brought by officer Gaff (Edward James Olmos) to his former supervisor, Bryant (M. Emmet Walsh). Deckard, whose former job as a "Blade Runner" was to track down bioengineered beings known as replicants and "retire" them ("retire" being the official term for the killing of replicants), is told by Bryant that several have escaped and come to Earth illegally. As Tyrell Corporation Nexus-6 models, they have only a four-year lifespan, and may have come to Earth to try to extend their lives.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methuselah_Syndrome

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:09 | 2229805 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr&#039;s 2nd Shot's picture

"My mother?  Let me tell you about my mother..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiuAI-GuOOc

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:55 | 2229372 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Watson only won Jeopardy because programmers spent TWO YEARS programming the silly thing; filling it's "brain" with encyclopedias and previous questions.

Citigroup will have to spend two years programming Watson, (a.k.a. HFT Hal #9) at which time it will go short Citi and push the stock back down to $1 where it belongs.

Information is not knowledge nor wisdom.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 19:22 | 2230271 batterycharged
batterycharged's picture

Yeah, Watson isn't an analyzer, it's a ramped-up version of Apple's Siri.

I'm not sure how Watson helps Wall Street. I can see how it may help health care in finding correlations between millions of reported patient symptoms, prescribed care and outcomes.

Don't fear Watson if you don't fear Google.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:12 | 2229500 pufferfish
pufferfish's picture

Well, this'll fill your heart with joy: 

Citi employees from around the world perform a rendition of the song "Proud" by Heather Small and Pete Vettese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MXwZJ-LVx7I

Pride, after all, comes before a fall.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:15 | 2229520 mantrid
mantrid's picture

could we replace Bernanke with Watson? we could ask it to play tic-tac-toe against itself a thousand times so, unlike Ben, it could actually figure out debt & printing doesn't quite win anything...

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 16:52 | 2229722 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

Here is the only code necessary to program Watson to go to work on Wall Street:

47:6f:6c:64:20:69:73:20:6e:6f:74:20:6d:6f:6e:65:79:2e:20:50:72:69:6e:74:65:64:20:70:61:70:65:72:20:69:73:20:6d:6f:6e:65:79

http://www.dolcevie.com/js/converter.html

 

 

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 13:18 | 2232627 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Or this: 

42:6c:79:74:68:65:20:4d:61:73:74:65:72:73:20:6d:75:73:74:20:64:69:65:21:20:20:42:75:79:20:53:69:6c:76:65:72:21

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:11 | 2229813 somethingelse
somethingelse's picture

"From now on I'll call you Stock God, ok?"

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:19 | 2229831 Djirk
Djirk's picture

ahahaaaah   my evil plan to eliminate sell side market taking is coming to fruition....come to the dark (pool) side

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:19 | 2229834 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Investing enters the nuclear age. How long will it take before we see the first disaster beyond all expectations? Watch out for the fall out to come.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:32 | 2229886 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Watson on Wall Street is so fucking rife with comic potential that it is a ZH wet dream.

 

And yet...

There is unease.

This is approaching the ultimate, amoral, 'perfect' investor - crunching worldwide data in real time with enough resources to make big enough bets to OWN every damn market out there 24/7. It is not science fiction anymore - the best chess grandmaster got beat by Big Blue, and Watson is 'smarter'.

Every organic trader with more than two brain cells to rub together can see the writing on the wall. Be they small time retailer picking at the edges, prop deck jockey, bond trader for a big 12 bank, quant for a hedge fund - this fucker is gonna put us all out of business - and to what end?

 

You do not have to be a Luddite to be concerned. There is no effective (at least in the US) regulatory oversight of where machine 'intelligence' may take the markets, and our economy. It does not take a great deal of foresight to see the owners/controllers of the super-trader machines becoming hugely rich and powerfull beyond even most out-there science-fiction screeds.

 

And think of the pitch they can make: "No more market crashes, no more depressions or recessions, no more financial market problems - all is stabilized with WOPR, ah Watson 2100!"

This is not good. So where from here?

 

Maybe, the revolution will be a nerd in a van with a really, really big EMP generator in the back driving through New York.

Or maybe we will all become serfs, and organic traders will be so 20th century -maybe we already are, and just don't know it.

I will admit, I'm scared by this, more that any market event that has come by the last 45 years I have been investing. This is truly a game changer. What the fuck to do about it?

 

 

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:38 | 2229918 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"Open the pod bay doors please, Watson."

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:41 | 2229931 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Watson was impressive on Jeopardy. Nonetheless, it also made some bonehead errors too. That’s what scares me about this smart technology; it doesn’t really know the difference between a good decision and an incredibly bad one. Then again, compared to central banker decisions…hmm.

Question: What’s dumber than an HFT algo that prices a forty dollar stock at two cents?

Answer: One that manages to actually buy a forty dollar stock for two cents, then turns around a nano-second later and sells the stock for three cents.  

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 17:58 | 2229987 css1971
css1971's picture

It's an inference engine. Good luck making inferences from news media, facebook, twitter.

Garbage in, garbage out.

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 00:45 | 2231086 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

Well yeah. As long as Watson is hooked to the internet, and as that thing is RC, and as long as 99% of North America is layered 10 deep in private and public WiFi.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 20:01 | 2230391 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

We'll know if Watson is as smart as they say it is when the moment it boots up and gets its first look at the data and comes back and tells them....

"I'm sorry Lloyd....you're fucked.  Goodbye."

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 21:01 | 2230581 frieswiththat
frieswiththat's picture

Fuck You Vickram, get back behind your slurpee machine!

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 00:46 | 2231089 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

"All your smart phones are belong to us."

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 03:49 | 2231355 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Conrad: "The horror, the horror."

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 07:24 | 2231518 Element
Element's picture

Watch nip chase fluff

See nip spit out eleventy-seven trillion different stories about APL being toast.

Watch fluff begin to smoke and melt like a vampire caught out in the open at dawn.

Watch Jane say, "Unbuffered positive feedback-loop induced temperature excursion is a bitch".

See Dick say, "Who could have known?"

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 16:06 | 2233265 Bull and Co.
Bull and Co.'s picture

it's time to paly " Who Wants to be a Billionaire".

 

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