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Comic, And Alcohol, Relief As Obama Speaks
You know the drill: every time the TOTUS says "pass this bill" => shot, and 5 shots for every instance of "win(ning) the future." And if he actually says "the 1%", you have to finish the entire bottle. May the most cirrhotic man, woman or child win.
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Awesome, drinking games before the end of the work day.
All we've got here is absolute ethanol, so I guess that will have to do.
ABSOLUT ethanol? That must be a new flavor!
The party line sheeple lackeys behind him make me want to vomit.
90 Proof Moonshine. BHO and the Darth Vader bus tour is now in NC.
Media blackout confirmed...
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2011/10/ron-paul-media-blackout-...
It's almost as if they might be WORRIED about someone...
We won't be silenced!
RON PAUL 2012!
They are ignorning Ron Paul simply because he will not win regardless of whether 55% or 75% of Americans would vote for him.
When he doesn't win and the run-of-the-mill banker lobbyist shill gets elected, the people won't get suspicious.
Imagine Ron Paul coverage 24/7 and massive voter turnout? It would be desastrous for them because they won't declare him winner.
It is written...
I couldn't smoke enough dopium to watch to get into the drinking qualifying rounds.
If George Bush put a death bomb on Republicans, Obama was the suicide for the democrats.
Ever wondered how US would break away from 2 party system? Answer seems to be self-destruction.
Welcome Tea Party and Occupy Wall St. New media has let truth out!
What drives people to whoop, screech, and flail their arms like baboons when a "leader" utters something they like to hear (but will never happen)? It's possible I hate my own species.
Obama-cash.
Hello, my name is Barry and I'm a spend-a-holic. I've been clean for two years. I'm also a pathological liar - don't believe anything I say.
None of that 12-years-aged-in-the-wood chi-chi -- Brand ? You know what brand ! The cheap stuff: rye. Two quarts. In two brown bags.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_k6Blra-PMrc/TUN__8IK2bI/AAAAAAAAC2E/WKfxCXDErC...
Meh. It's easier to party with Tyler Durden than I thought.
If you want a REAL drinking game, come to my ranch.
We watch John Woo's 'Hard Boiled' and take a drink everytime someone gets shot.
No one has ever made it through the movie.
EVER.
And, I hang out with some liver killers....
In the meantime, Andy Borowitz has presented us with a letter from Lloyd Blankfein:
Dear Investor:
Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street. That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds. As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan, passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests. And we have asked ourselves this question:
How can we make money off them?
The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world. At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain – but there’s plenty of money to be made on the way down.
The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages. Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.
It would be tempting, at a time like this, to say “Let them eat cake.” But at Goldman, we are actively seeking to corner the market in cake futures. We project that through our aggressive market manipulation, the price of a piece of cake will quadruple by the end of 2011.
Please contact your Goldman representative for a full prospectus. As the world descends into a Darwinian free-for-all, the Goldman Sachs Rage Fund is a great way to tell the protesters, “Occupy this.” We haven’t felt so good about something we’ve sold since our souls.
Sincerely,
Lloyd Blankfein
Chairman, Goldman Sachs
I believe the actual Llyod Blankenfiend quote is....
"LET THEM EAT URINAL CAKE!"
LOL!! "But at Goldman,..."
+666
uhm 999 brother 999!
raise CAIN on these hippy scum!!!
COMPLY with the PAIN, and VOTE for CAIN!?!
"Thank you sir, may I have another!?"
Nein.
Yeah...but frankly I fail to see Goldman's apparent (but stealthy!) shorting angle on this prospectus...
I thought most on this site were looking to capitalize personally on the growing economic crisis -- "making money of the way down" like the GS fund noted above. It is unclear why one wouldn't try to make money no matter the environment. I guess we could all do nothing but occupy space.
You thought wrong. Many of us are not here to profit but to share insight, information, feelings, thoughts, and humor. There's sharks in them there waters. Sometimes not playing in the wading pool or the sandbox is better than trying to make a buck.
Which is why I said "most" and presumably why you said "many." Instead you attack the author ("you thought wrong") instead of the logic of the thought.
Trying to avoid loss ("not playing," avoiding "sharks") by being on the sidelines is financially motivated behavior, just like making a profit.
Especially when one has seen the neighborhood cats ... "playing" in the sandbox. [Cough]
+1000
Almost missed this gem! Brilliant.
Blue shirt boy in the bottom left is the Deer in the Head (Stage) Lights..
blink dude.. jesus..
The traditional UK version is 'Withnail & I".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m6LhZJdCQY
Chose 'I', and you'll still not make it through - the insane ones choose Withnail, and often falter on the lighter fluid.
Is that the one where the hero pisses himself to put out a fire in his trousers while standing on a ledge with a baby on each arm - while being shot at??
"Dey tuk ar jerbs!"
"Derka derrrr"
Dey broke is jawww?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik
Who is TOTUS? Not Prez. Teetotaller? Tyrant?
TOTUS = Teleprompter of the United States
Thx! That works.
If you play the POTUS drinking game with bong hits instead of booze, he's also known as Ol' Rope Burner.
Look at and listen to this MFer.....he's running scared..... pandering to the lowest common denominator.....all the money in the world won't help this guy!!
How convenient because it appears that the lowest common denominator is sitting right behind him.
Rotor-head ;-)
ta'int the money, its what the money buys in ...
- Ned
{and really, some of my BEST FRIENDS are rotor-heads ;-) }
LMAO!!!! Puppet Boy!
never thought I'd long for Dubya...
why are you longing? we have dubya in the whitehouse....he just has little bit of a tan.
who the fuck is this pandering, ass licking hillbilly??
How Corny. He left out the part about "a chicken in every pot".
Will he be questioned by this guy?
http://youtu.be/A9CxT48jIgI
Ok, I'm in. I'll bite. I'll drink to a fart if that makes you happy.
i don't see bawney fwank in the house, you're out of luck.
ANy fart across the globe will do, to get me sippin' and some brew. I didn't mean a pussy fart, AKA barney burp. Gawd NO.
Well the popcorn is gone so I guess I can just use the bag to throw up in...
That kid in the blue shirt had too many acids. He better hope the waterhead behind him isn't hungry.
No kidding. I don't think I've seen him blink so far.
What a fucking douchebag clown. Pathetic fake southern accent.
I thought perhaps I detected a southern accent as well, what a farce this guy is.
During the 2008 campaign, he was impressed by Hillary's usage of a fake drawl when addressing southern audiences, so he incorporated it into his pandering propaganda portfolio.
ah we're back to the "folksy" obama. it's cool, he's "one of us"!
Blame it on Bush for the 200,405th time. Obama still has a boner for Bush.
...awe. Rosemary's Baby is pandering to the idiots of America ...again.
I can't watch this shit
nor i, bob_d
i did put some Four Roses in the bong, tho!
I <3 you man.
The most worrying thing is the morons in the audience who cannot see through the BS... Truly sad.
ROR. What a tool.
PASS MEH JOBZ BILLZ BITCHEZ!
"We got to build an economy for folks trying to get into the middle class." He is intercepting OWS tropes and bending them for his own twisted populist psychosis.
I just watched thirty seconds and I'm already trashed.
Nice music at the end though. 'Can't remember the name of the tune. Anyone?
Most throw up after they do shots but in this case, I throw up after listening to what TOTUS says and then I do shots.
Am I losing my mind, or do all of the people standing behind Obama look mentally retarded? And even Obama himself looks mentally retarded.
seriously.. I was just noticing that... look at the kid in the bottom left corner... WTF is goin on with his eyes?
i be hypnotized!
It's the Zombie Dust from the Chem Trails...
The 3 to his left all look like tweakers, and the old person right above the token black (Obama doesn't count...) looks like a corpse until he/she claps, which makes me jump.
Everyone to his left has bizarro eye stuff going on. Angle? Camera? Or legitimate weirdos? Rubber neck moves too. Lady with glasses above also very strange.
Automatons.....real easy to program.....
No your mind is fine, they all look like morons.
The Asian chick to his left looks pretty fucking bored. She looks like she wants to do drugs. And the old guy in maroon on the right is definitely on some strong meds.
It may be the most perfectly "diverse" group ever.
If you spot antennas, you'll know for sure.
something tells me it's in the water now.too late for these folks.
or the Secret Service is just out of camera range with guns drawn pointing at the applause signs.
whatever. even he realizes that he is a fake and a joke of historic measure with just a dash of murdering bastard as the topper.
Sh*t, he's got his sleeves rolled up... he means business.
The dude knows he is going to have work hard to keep his job, Monkey Boy.
his twang is strong tonight.
the twang = the thang
Duane Eddy - Rebel-rouser - YouTube
He's a shovel-ready POTUS.
He's tossing some heavy shit.
To create jobs Obama has to be shown the door in 2012. That's an automatic 5 million jobs right there. The Red Diaper POTUS can bang his spoon on his high chair 24/7 all he wants, it is not going to help. His own people in the congress have given up on him.
Geez, the alcohol is not enough to dull the pain of this.
What's the next best solution? Crack? Meth? Shrooms?
Help...
You might want to try Ayahuasca, it helps me get through the Monday market
Thanks for the recommendation, but I found that huffing metallic Krylon did the trick and destroyed fewer brain cells than the dose of Obamanian Hopium in the video clip.
Maybe some 2C-B? http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/2cb/2cb.shtml - this requires a trip to Amsterdam. But - then one can also legally shop for some slutty girls to bring to the party (and there will be one, somewhere).
Ron Paul to propose $1T in specific budget cuts
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/66114.html#ixzz1b4n8qljn
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/66114.html
“It’s the only plan offered by a presidential candidate that actually balances the budget and begins to pay down the debt,” top Paul adviser Jesse Benton said in a statement ahead of the speech. “And it’s the only plan being offered that tries to reign in the Federal Reserve and get inflation under control.
and the president’s pay would be cut to $39,336 — a level that the Paul document notes is “approximately equal to the median personal income of the American worker.”
I love this plan...........cant wait for the next debate to see how those other idiots will respond.............
This would be funny if it was a movie about a corrupt president....he is becoming as diffcult to watch as Tony Blair with his high school debate facial expressions.
i feel like i'm watching a god damn jerry springer episode.
it reminds me of falling dictator speeches.
I'm waiting for his public take on this classic scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AznmrRZsRQ
Well if any UK folk are on here then you have your chance to meet our hero Nigel Farage this Thursday evening at the Mayhem Theatre Hoddesdon Hertfordshire. 7.30pm. All are welcome Free. no tickets required. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RSV7A_wds4
Damn Tyler, don't encourage us! Every ZHer won't be able to get a liver transplant.
silver will restore your health, if not your sobriety, baby_B!
stay piratical!
Its your pancreas you should be worried about.
We will when we go to prison :-)
Yeah Barry, we want more political slush funds and stimuli. It has proven so effective your first three years. Must really suck to be him right now. Having to push this shit around the country. Just call it a "Jobs Bill" because Americans are all for jobs right? What a tool.
Remember the old days when he used to say millionaires, billionaires and corporate jets? I'll drink to that.
USP grade 100% alcohol.
It will fry your brain.
For those of you that are now completely shnoggered, May I interest you in a trade for some nice GLD and SLV shares for your real metal?O'Bama is sooooooo fucking sad...I voted for that fucking hack. How horribly wrong I was.
Bush, Obama, soon to be Cain??? Stylistic differences on social issues but 90%+ of policies the same...they and their masters are the reason I buy gold, silver and know aMerica must fucking collapse before it can regain it's footing and rebuild.
Cain isn't going to make it. His Fed affiliation is going to bite him in the ass.
"A yes-we-can spirit" Holy fuck. I am dying of alcohold poisoning right now. I will not be able to trade tomorrow. Fuck it, I will miss out shorting GS because of this idiot dictator drinking game.
The shepherd and his flock. Their back legs permanently stuck in his rubber boots.
Whoot - No kissing? What a pervert!
Did he have his sleeves rolled up more than usual to emphasize the regular guy effect?
Sadly, I missed the drinking game but it's just as well since I only have a six pack of beer and I would have to drink that just to sit through him speechifying.
What a moron...."my jobs bill"....as if this loser, or any other politician, can create real lasting jobs. The only thing they can do to help is to shrink government by, oh, let's say, about 90%.
It reminds me of a documentary BBC did (a rare good one) about South Africa just as Mandela took over. They were asking blacks in the townships what they expected and it was basically that Mandella would build a new school, pave the roads, build them new houses etc etc etc....when asked about the time frame for these improvements the group of women thought about 6 months.
Same old bullshit.
Except each time the speech gets worse. Did he lose his teleprompter or something?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxxxGUeZtno
First he lost contact with reality...
Then he lost contact with the script..
Fundamental transformation is transitional.
you mean transitory
Thanks Ese Pinche, that is what I meant. Just saying I hope everyone that voted for him last time will do their homework before voting this time around.
That was short. I guess the smell of ass becomes a little heavy. I swear I could smell it building, and did take a shower only two hours ago.
Small batch whisky wasn't enough to numb the pain.
It doesn't matter who we elect in 2012, this ass clown or Willard Romney. We're fucked.
uuurrpppp
Think I won.
Crap, where did I put that door?
Good, the horror show is over. Now go watch Ron Paul: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-2Zs0-N1dA
It's still on.
I can see the Teleprompter(s) in Chief.
And a large black woman eating cake.
The Wookie made it?
OK, I'm using Woodford Reserve Bourbon.
Hey! Why not Federal Reserve Bourbon! Except put vodka in the bottle!
The fine print could say It's not Federal, It's not a Reserve, and it ain't Bourbon!
Gol...(hic)...gold bishezh.....(urrrrrp)
It's still on.
I can see the Teleprompter(s) in Chief.
And a large black woman eating cake.
It looks like someone forgot to kill the feed. I see the podium and old school bleacher seats on the screen.
Tribute to Obama;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-54wAE7nJI&feature=related
Tribute to Barney Frank;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYEO_WZUGcY&feature=related
Oh god, I'm hammered.
u still typin-udidn't play theee gamy rothwyw lykme, nrd
Tribute to the Vampire Squid;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyh5v_GizaY&feature=related
Tribute to George;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acQqpUf7vzs
Can't watch...just get drunk instead.
Actually, after all of the comments (sounds like the crowd was hysterical), I may have to watch some of it to see these people you all are talking about. BUT, if I do watch, it will be with the sound off. I can't take his voice anymore.
Missed the live version. Is it on YT?
I hear the Mig-25 arrival was a celebrated event, mostly because the cooling system was full of alcohol.
This Obamadisaster is only a dream. And a nightmare at that. Help us Mr. Wizzard?
Calgon, take me away!