Commerzbank Monkeyhammered On Insolvency Concerns

Tyler Durden's picture

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Germans won't be happy...

'Internal calculations' ...LOL

Germans need to wake the fuck up.

MFL8240's picture

Look at home brother, this clown show is far worse than Germany.

Sudden Debt's picture

what about BOTH CONTINENTS are in a pile of shit they can't get out of?

We don't need to look for 'the less bad' one. We both suck.

 

knukles's picture

Monkeyhammered. 
Sounds suspiciously like an Islamic terrrrust name.
Monkeyhammered Fuckstick.

Expalins the whole problem.
Go to war.

unky's picture

i am a German citizen and woke up. What to do about it? buy gold and silver i already did, so now just waiting...

Ghordius's picture

well, you could go and vote on "Stuttgart 21" or take a plane to Greece and teach some morals... ;-) whatever you do, don't invade Poland

magpie's picture

Actually some German anarchists did invade Poland recently...

Eurodollar's picture

Won't be long until Merkel will be joining Sarkozy in the ECB print choir now.

Ghordius's picture

I don't think unky is a German Anarchist, though, or at least he is not living in Germany

if he did, then he woke up in the afternoon - Anarchists are not that lazy, methinks

magpie's picture

Either way, he's better off stacking bullion instead of playing Occupy Warsaw.

Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Die Wahrheit ist irgendwo da draußen

Socrate's picture

I like the smell of bankruns early in the morning.

MFL8240's picture

Why cant Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner send them the money?  They can lend to Lybia but not germany.  I say lend to all and, why not we are a prosperous nation. lol!!

Gief Gold Plox's picture

Yeah. But if you can just print money out of thin air to lend it to anyone why the hell are we even keeping track of who owes who? Screw it. Let's just proclaim we're all embarrassingly rich and be done with it.

MFL8240's picture

Thats exactly whats happening, do you honestly believe anything that Bernanke tells us about money out and repaid?  If so, you are a better man than me, I trust nothing that comes from Obama, Bernanke, the US Congress, the Treasury or anyone else in DC or Wall Street.

Gief Gold Plox's picture

No sir. On the issue of believing officials I firmly stand by George Carlin's rules: "I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. "

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

BOM = Bring Own Monkey

Coldfire's picture

CBK is one of the 29 G-SIFI's. Too big to fail, but small enough to bail out. For the bank, the second bailout will be a walk in the park. For the equity holders, not so much...

SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

highly levered balance sheets=#winning

reload's picture

I am sure Commerz has many problems, but I know this:

When they took over insolvent Dresdner bank they took on a boatload of toxic junk they did not understand. A lot of the awful parcels of securitised debt were originated in Eastern Europe and Russia.

The game at Dresdner worked like this - originate some asset backed bonds for resale to greater fools. Buy CDS protection on bonds to cover exposure until sold. If sale could not be made with good profit or bond price fell - move bonds to SIV in dublin. Take profit on CDS, and with no need to M-to M the SIV -bonuses all round.

All fine and dandy - until, the SIV can not be funded and or the bonds in the SIV default. But its ok because the `bankers` who created it all have long since gone to work elsewhere.

It is such a mess they are paying very expensive consultants to explain it all to them!

magpie's picture

Obviously Ireland's problem now, to be ordered during the daily Morgenappell with Angelas Viceroy.

Greater Fool's picture

Good explanation. And then of course you try to improve the credit quality of your balance sheet and build regulatory capital back by stashing as much as you can in those high-quality, low-risk sovereigns...oops.

In this context, the failure of the Super-Duper Committee is all the more damning. Evidently our elected representatives haven't yet figured out that the jig is up. All that's left now is damage control.

Quinvarius's picture

Soon JPM will follow because Sprott just filed to buy 1.5 billion in silver for PSLV on sedgar.

 

achmachat's picture

JPM under 30 per share is already a psychological hit in the groin for them!

nantucket's picture

Technically, they got "Clownhammered", not Monkeyhammered.  It's a nuance, but the two are night and day.  Duration is the differentiator.  Clownhammering is a short term event.  Monkeyhammering is a long persistent event.  One never knows until the hammering is over,...but then it's too late to matter.  You can look it up, it's all official CFA stuff.

DB Cooper's picture

Now we know where Corzine is.

imsaul0968's picture

For those of you who invest in an IRA or for long term goals, theres a better approach than buy,hold,hope. Stocks follow the economy so analyzing the economy, specifically the factors that are "leading indicators" and having exposure to equities only when the economy is headed in the right direction and avoiding equities in favor of safe haven baskets is a much more logical approach. And missing the major drawdowns is the only way to help ensure meeting your goals.  If you are interested in investing in a portfolio that tactically invests in equity and safe haven baskets via ETF's automatically, please email me at:

eclark@breakaway-partners.com

and I'll add you to the weekly market commentary & portfolio update distribution list.  Its free to add you and you can follow along our model and our views.  We have been RISK-OFF since 6/30 so have missed all this wicked volatility. Currently invested in short duration treasury baskets as flight to safety drives interest in our debt. 

VisualCSharp's picture

Why is this idiot's post the only post I can't down-vote on several different threads? Is this some sort of sponsored ad scheme?

Ghordius's picture

if you use cursive in the beginning of the sentence you are "untouchable"

just a bug (not a gold bug, though)

Delmar's picture

"An economic downturn could make her a spanner in the works"

spanner=bankrupt?

 

Franken_Stein's picture

 

You are citing MM News ?

LOL !

 

Wer hätte gedacht, daß ex-n-tv Moderator Michael Mross es mal sogar bis zum Ritterschlag einer Zerohedge-Zitierung bringen würde.

Den hatte man doch damals aus der Telebörse rausgeschmissen, wahrscheinlich weil er sich nicht mit den neuen Programmrichtlinien abfinden wollte nach der Übernahme von n-tv durch CNN.

citrine's picture

Der Spiegel just has published an article saying that Germany is not in such a great shape as it is commonly believed. After Kyle Bass let it be known, methinks.

But it is debatable how much longer Germany can be seen as a refuge of stability and security. In reality, German government finances are not nearly in as good shape as the chancellor and the finance minister would have us believe.

http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,799059,00.html

PulauHantu29's picture

Cap requirements are no longer in fashion.

Debt is "in."

 

Sorry. Move along.

Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

When will people realize ALL fractional reserve banking systems are broke because they lend out more than they have deposited??? How can people not think that type of a system won't blow up? John Law & paper money always cause problems.

Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Damn double postings.  Anyone know how to delete a post?