Commerzbank Monkeyhammered On Insolvency Concerns

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Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:26 | 1902009 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Germans won't be happy...

'Internal calculations' ...LOL

Germans need to wake the fuck up.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:28 | 1902023 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Look at home brother, this clown show is far worse than Germany.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:25 | 1902261 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

what about BOTH CONTINENTS are in a pile of shit they can't get out of?

We don't need to look for 'the less bad' one. We both suck.


Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:42 | 1902322 knukles
knukles's picture

Sounds suspiciously like an Islamic terrrrust name.
Monkeyhammered Fuckstick.

Expalins the whole problem.
Go to war.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:37 | 1902059 unky
unky's picture

i am a German citizen and woke up. What to do about it? buy gold and silver i already did, so now just waiting...

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:42 | 1902078 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

well, you could go and vote on "Stuttgart 21" or take a plane to Greece and teach some morals... ;-) whatever you do, don't invade Poland

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:44 | 1902088 magpie
magpie's picture

Actually some German anarchists did invade Poland recently...

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:00 | 1902161 Eurodollar
Eurodollar's picture

Won't be long until Merkel will be joining Sarkozy in the ECB print choir now.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:11 | 1902201 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I don't think unky is a German Anarchist, though, or at least he is not living in Germany

if he did, then he woke up in the afternoon - Anarchists are not that lazy, methinks

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:12 | 1902210 magpie
magpie's picture

Either way, he's better off stacking bullion instead of playing Occupy Warsaw.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 14:36 | 1903350 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Die Wahrheit ist irgendwo da draußen

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:39 | 1902063 Socrate
Socrate's picture

I like the smell of bankruns early in the morning.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:27 | 1902018 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Why cant Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner send them the money?  They can lend to Lybia but not germany.  I say lend to all and, why not we are a prosperous nation. lol!!

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:30 | 1902030 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

Yeah. But if you can just print money out of thin air to lend it to anyone why the hell are we even keeping track of who owes who? Screw it. Let's just proclaim we're all embarrassingly rich and be done with it.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:34 | 1902046 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Thats exactly whats happening, do you honestly believe anything that Bernanke tells us about money out and repaid?  If so, you are a better man than me, I trust nothing that comes from Obama, Bernanke, the US Congress, the Treasury or anyone else in DC or Wall Street.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:52 | 1902121 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

No sir. On the issue of believing officials I firmly stand by George Carlin's rules: "I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. "

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:28 | 1902024 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

BOM = Bring Own Monkey

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:31 | 1902032 Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

CBK is one of the 29 G-SIFI's. Too big to fail, but small enough to bail out. For the bank, the second bailout will be a walk in the park. For the equity holders, not so much...

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:32 | 1902039 SheepleLOVEched...
SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

highly levered balance sheets=#winning

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:44 | 1902089 reload
reload's picture

I am sure Commerz has many problems, but I know this:

When they took over insolvent Dresdner bank they took on a boatload of toxic junk they did not understand. A lot of the awful parcels of securitised debt were originated in Eastern Europe and Russia.

The game at Dresdner worked like this - originate some asset backed bonds for resale to greater fools. Buy CDS protection on bonds to cover exposure until sold. If sale could not be made with good profit or bond price fell - move bonds to SIV in dublin. Take profit on CDS, and with no need to M-to M the SIV -bonuses all round.

All fine and dandy - until, the SIV can not be funded and or the bonds in the SIV default. But its ok because the `bankers` who created it all have long since gone to work elsewhere.

It is such a mess they are paying very expensive consultants to explain it all to them!

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:51 | 1902117 magpie
magpie's picture

Obviously Ireland's problem now, to be ordered during the daily Morgenappell with Angelas Viceroy.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:37 | 1902305 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Good explanation. And then of course you try to improve the credit quality of your balance sheet and build regulatory capital back by stashing as much as you can in those high-quality, low-risk sovereigns...oops.

In this context, the failure of the Super-Duper Committee is all the more damning. Evidently our elected representatives haven't yet figured out that the jig is up. All that's left now is damage control.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 12:43 | 1902777 Mike2756
Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:35 | 1902053 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Soon JPM will follow because Sprott just filed to buy 1.5 billion in silver for PSLV on sedgar.


Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:40 | 1902069 achmachat
achmachat's picture

JPM under 30 per share is already a psychological hit in the groin for them!

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:39 | 1902066 nantucket
nantucket's picture

Technically, they got "Clownhammered", not Monkeyhammered.  It's a nuance, but the two are night and day.  Duration is the differentiator.  Clownhammering is a short term event.  Monkeyhammering is a long persistent event.  One never knows until the hammering is over,...but then it's too late to matter.  You can look it up, it's all official CFA stuff.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:44 | 1902085 DB Cooper
DB Cooper's picture

Now we know where Corzine is.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:48 | 1902102 imsaul0968
imsaul0968's picture

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Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:02 | 1902169 VisualCSharp
VisualCSharp's picture

Why is this idiot's post the only post I can't down-vote on several different threads? Is this some sort of sponsored ad scheme?

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:13 | 1902211 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

if you use cursive in the beginning of the sentence you are "untouchable"

just a bug (not a gold bug, though)

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 09:57 | 1902146 PY-129-20
PY-129-20's picture

Thomas Cook is also in the news -

Currently at -74 %. Ouch.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:01 | 1902163 Delmar
Delmar's picture

"An economic downturn could make her a spanner in the works"



Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:33 | 1902279 Franken_Stein
Franken_Stein's picture


You are citing MM News ?



Wer hätte gedacht, daß ex-n-tv Moderator Michael Mross es mal sogar bis zum Ritterschlag einer Zerohedge-Zitierung bringen würde.

Den hatte man doch damals aus der Telebörse rausgeschmissen, wahrscheinlich weil er sich nicht mit den neuen Programmrichtlinien abfinden wollte nach der Übernahme von n-tv durch CNN.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 11:34 | 1902299 citrine
citrine's picture

Der Spiegel just has published an article saying that Germany is not in such a great shape as it is commonly believed. After Kyle Bass let it be known, methinks.

But it is debatable how much longer Germany can be seen as a refuge of stability and security. In reality, German government finances are not nearly in as good shape as the chancellor and the finance minister would have us believe.,1518,799059,00.html

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 10:42 | 1902319 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Cap requirements are no longer in fashion.

Debt is "in."


Sorry. Move along.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 14:32 | 1903308 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

When will people realize ALL fractional reserve banking systems are broke because they lend out more than they have deposited??? How can people not think that type of a system won't blow up? John Law & paper money always cause problems.

Tue, 11/22/2011 - 14:33 | 1903309 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Damn double postings.  Anyone know how to delete a post?

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