This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Corzine Corzined - Congressional Panel Finds Former MF Global CEO Ordered JPM Fund Transfer

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The only thing that could top today's epic market insanity and hilarity, would be that Corzine is himself about to be Corzined. Just released from Bloomberg:

  • MF GLOBAL'S CORZINE ORDERED FUNDS MOVED TO JPMORGAN, MEMO SAYS
  • CORZINE'S `DIRECT INSTRUCTIONS' CITED BY CONGRESSIONAL PANEL
  • MF GLOBAL TRANSFER WAS USED TO COVER OVERDRAFT, PANEL SAYS
  • MF GLOBAL FINDINGS CITED IN MEMO OBTAINED BY BLOOMBERG NEWS

And so we can now add perjury to felony embezzlement. Which means we now have to wait to find just which MF'er (and JPM'er) will be given a promise of untold millions if they only get Fab Tourre'd for a few years, and spend 5-7 in minimum security state prison instead of brave Jonny.

From Bloomberg:

Jon S. Corzine, MF Global Holding Ltd.’s chief executive officer, gave “direct instructions” to transfer $200 million from a customer fund account to meet an overdraft in one of the brokerage’s JPMorgan Chase & Co.
accounts in London, according to an e-mail sent by a firm executive.

 

Edith O’Brien, a treasurer for the firm, said in an e-mail sent the afternoon of Oct. 28, three days before the company collapsed, that the transfer of the funds was “Per JC’s direct instructions,” according to a copy of a memo drafted by congressional investigators and obtained by Bloomberg News.

 

O’Brien’s internal e-mail came as the New York-based broker found intraday credit lines limited by JPMorgan, the firm’s clearing bank as well as one of its custodian banks for segregated customer funds, according to the memo, which was prepared for a March 28 House Financial Services subcommittee hearing on the firm’s collapse. O’Brien is scheduled to testify after being subpoenaed this week.

 

“Over the course of that week, MF Global’s financial position deteriorated, but the firm represented to its regulators and self-regulatory organizations that its customers’segregated funds were safe,” said the memo, written by Financial Services Committee staff and sent to lawmakers.

 

Vinay Mahajan, global treasurer of MF Global Holdings, wrote an e-mail on Oct. 28 that said JPMorgan was “holding up vital business in the U.S. as a result” of the overdrawn account, which had to be “fully funded ASAP,” according to the memo.

 

O’Brien Letter

 

Barry Zubrow, JPMorgan’s chief risk officer, called Corzine to seek assurances that the funds belonged to MF Global and not customers. JPMorgan drafted a letter to be signed by O’Brien to ensure that MF Global was complying with rules requiring customers’ collateral to be segregated. The letter was never returned to JPMorgan, the memo said.

The money transferred came from a segregated customer account, according to congressional investigators. Segregated accounts can include customer money and excess company funds.

 

Corzine testified that he never intended a misuse of customer funds at MF Global, and that he doesn’t know where client funds went.

 

“I did not instruct anyone to lend customer funds to anyone,” Corzine told lawmakers in December.

Steven Goldberg, a spokesman for Corzine, declined immediate comment.

Oops. Of course, in Jonny's defense there was no perjury here. The truth was merely rehypothecated.

Full memo below. And for those who say it is not a smoking gun, read last paragraph on page 4 and first paragraph on page 5. It appears the administration has turned on "JC"

MF Memo

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Sat, 03/24/2012 - 10:12 | 2286421 jplotinus
jplotinus's picture

Prison? Possibly, but that is not the norm for capitalist/corporatist insiders.

It is wise to remember the order of priorities embedded in American-style crony capitalism:

1-FIRE profit

2-whatever the military industrial complex wants

3-low wages benefits for working class

4-high debt for working class

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 19:31 | 2287392 Pitchman
Pitchman's picture

And better yet...

"In spite of the Explosion in Financial Fraud from the mid 2000's, continuing unabated to this day, the number of Criminal Financial Institution Fraud Prosecutions under the Obama Administration is the lowest in 20 years."....

If you remember the story of Animal Farm; the pigs exploit the other animals shamelessly, breaking all the rules that they had established after the Rebellion.  And so it goes.

Back in the day Jerry "Kill the pigs" Rubin's good friend Abbie Hoffman would say: "Steal This Country!"

More recently President Obama's Good Friend Jeremiah Wright might say God Damn these criminals.  His other "Good Buddy" Bill Ayers might say: These are criminals at large; taunting the public who will hunt them down like the dogs that they are... Lamp post provided by local communities nationwide, Cordage available at fine retailers everywhere, Final Justice; Priceless...

Street Justice Is Coming To Wall Street

- The Face of Financial Terrorism Attacks Marines Free Speech

 

Visit: Inflection Point

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:14 | 2284795 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Does this mean he'll have to use his other Get Out Of Jail Free card too?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:15 | 2284803 centerline
centerline's picture

No worries, they print those up all day long for themselves.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2284841 max2205
max2205's picture

Send in the clowns

 

"It's the Aristocrates!!"

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:37 | 2285370 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Nice

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:14 | 2284796 Mongo
Mongo's picture

So where are the pitchforks?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:16 | 2284806 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

Tucked away in a pile of psychotropic drugs, social networks and bad TeeVee.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:16 | 2284807 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

That's crazy talk!

Do you know what a pitchfork would do to a basketball? And, you can't shoot a puck with a pitchfork.

Silly Mongo.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:50 | 2284985 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Sheeple only get upset/interested about the death of celebrities, "wrongful" shooting deaths, or murdered kids. None of these types of death are involved in stealing of money, so no masses with pitchforks.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:14 | 2284798 CaptFufflePants
CaptFufflePants's picture

Why is he still a free man?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:23 | 2284844 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

Why is Obama still Prez? 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2284947 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Why is SNooki pregnant and why do people tune into her TV show?  Same answer all around.  I see dumb people.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:31 | 2285111 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Because Newt couldn't keep his sausage in his pocket.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 23:02 | 2285889 55 men
55 men's picture

Why is the sky blue, why are boobs cool....it just is.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:51 | 2285414 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Well, the choice was between him and a guy who sang "Bomb bomb bomb Iran".

Not that it really matters. The real election is decided during the primaries.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:06 | 2285258 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Who is John Galt?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:15 | 2284799 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Madoff will have a cell mate.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:36 | 2284920 monoloco
monoloco's picture

More like Mozillo will have a drinking buddy in the Caymans.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:19 | 2285080 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I wonder, fake suicide or "heart attack" this time?

Maybe he'll share a bungalow with Ken Lay?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2285401 blu
blu's picture

Some kind of rare cancer, special treatments available only in France -- and then he's just gone.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:54 | 2285419 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

It's more likely that Jon and Ken will be sharing a bottle of Armand de Brignac to celebrate their retirement.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:27 | 2285337 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Well he better be a good chess player. My sources have informed me that the battles between Raj and Bernie have been truly epic. Apparently "chess boards have been breaking out all over" in the Big House lately because of it!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:16 | 2284804 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Hey Tyler!  can you please find a picture of POTUS and Corzine and throw it up with this?  Perhaps one with Dimon too?  I think that picture, should it exist, would sum up everything.  

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:36 | 2284835 xtop23
xtop23's picture

I think a picture of the deer with the title "Vaporized Bitchez", would be more appropriate.

This guy should be doing 20 years for that shit.

He'll do 2 years in a minimum security Club Med with care packages biweekly from Obama.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:39 | 2284936 monoloco
monoloco's picture

I predict a 10 million dollar fine with no admission of wrong doing.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:58 | 2285431 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

To be paid out of the bankruptcy funds of course, since Jon was doing the lord's work.

Sun, 03/25/2012 - 08:09 | 2288125 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Exactly. 

And btw, what about the other 1.4 billion?  Details, details.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:19 | 2285079 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Actually he should plead guilty now and get sentenced.  This needs to be done before Obama loses this upcoming election.

As one of his last acts as President he can pardon his sentence and set him free... Nothing anyone could do about it either.

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 05:27 | 2286223 Element
Element's picture

Yeah ... and why is this convenient white-louse convention/tradition permitted in those circumstances, anyway?

Is that not implicitly corrupting and unjust?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2284840 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

I see smoke rising out of WBanzai's hut...I think we should see what he gin's up.  :)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:16 | 2284808 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Oh for God's sake....seriously?  I'm going to be wearing my rally hat all weekend long...as surely, escalating rabbit hole activity is the mostest uber bullish thing possible.  I know, close the market...and watch it soar!

As for Corzine, that anyone is still confused about his culpability is...well...probably a Wall Street banker.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:17 | 2284810 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

I knew this avatar would pay off eventually. Always bet with the fraudsters. This means YOU, Corzine.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:17 | 2284811 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...and people are still going to vote Rosemary's Baby

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm3VMrKqJSA

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2284812 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

So what, he's too well connected.

 

Those aren't the dollars you're looking for.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:17 | 2284813 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Whoooops.....    Bummer dude-  your kids are gonna have to give another press conference, and beg for your mercy......

Lying sack of shit......

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 21:34 | 2285747 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Worked well for Blago.... or did it?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:18 | 2284819 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I won't feel vindicated until I see the Bernank, the Blankfein and the Dimon in shackles.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:26 | 2284860 Tim White
Tim White's picture

...and B. Masters in stirrups!!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2284865 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

i'd prefer to see them in palestine.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2284822 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Don't worry -  BO will hold a presser to demand accountability.  You know, similar to the Zimmerman 'campaign op' in Fla.?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:39 | 2284932 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Ahhh, ummm...I'm an old oil man from way back!

I ahhh errr think we need to investigate Trayvon's killing ahhh, ummm ahhh to see if there's any connection with the shooters gun and ahhh ummm Fast & Furious! It's my understanding he's ahhh errr Hispanic.

No...ahhh...the Castle Law is what we need to...errr ahhh...no, the Stand Your Ground Law...yeah, that's it.

Ahhh...everyone needs to settle down and eat your peas!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2284824 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

I can't wait for the next round of Gerald Celente guest spots.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2284826 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

But he was an official 'Obama Bundler,' raising as much cash for Obama in 2008 as just about individual.

He's also the former CEO of Goldman Sachs, that ethical, magnanimous institution of unimpeachable morality.

Certainly a Presidential Pardon wouldn't be an impossibility, on the assumption that Obama wins re-election, no?

 

Obama could just claim that speculators confused Corzine, and that he knew not what he did broke with protocol or law.

 

#JonCorzineInnocenceProject

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:03 | 2285445 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

He only stole money from innocent customers and lied to Congress. He didn't even commit treason. Where's the outrage? /sarc off

"Proclamation 6518
Grant of Executive Clemency
December 24, 1992

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

Today I am exercising my power under the Constitution to pardon former Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger and others for their conduct related to the Iran-Contra affair.

For more than 6 years now, the American people have invested enormous resources into what has become the most thoroughly investigated matter of its kind in our history. During that time, the last American hostage has come home to freedom, worldwide terrorism has declined, the people of Nicaragua have elected a democratic government, and the Cold War has ended in victory for the American people and the cause of freedom we championed.

In the mid 1980's, however, the outcome of these struggles was far from clear. Some of the best and most dedicated of our countrymen were called upon to step forward. Secretary Weinberger was among the foremost.

Caspar Weinberger is a true American patriot. He has rendered long and extraordinary service to our country. He served for 4 years in the Army during World War II where his bravery earned him a Bronze Star. He gave up a lucrative career in private life to accept a series of public positions in the late 1960's and 1970's, including Chairman of the Federal Trade Commission, Director of the Office of Management and Budget, and Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. Caspar Weinberger served in all these positions with distinction and was admired as a public servant above reproach.

He saved his best for last. As Secretary of Defense throughout most of the Reagan Presidency, Caspar Weinberger was one of the principal architects of the downfall of the Berlin Wall and the Soviet Union. He directed the military renaissance in this country that led to the breakup of the communist bloc and a new birth of freedom and democracy. Upon his resignation in 1987, Caspar Weinberger was awarded the highest civilian medal our Nation can bestow on one of its citizens, the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Secretary Weinberger's legacy will endure beyond the ending of the Cold War. The military readiness of this Nation that he in large measure created could not have been better displayed than it was 2 years ago in the Persian Gulf and today in Somalia."

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/pardonsex5.htm

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:24 | 2285505 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Ok I'll bite...Weinberger wasn't convicted of anything, let alone treason.

More germane to this thread would be Marc Rich and Eric Holder.

Again ;-)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2285551 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

I wouldn't argue with you concerning Rich and Holder and the lack of justice, although Rich wasn't going to jail in any case.  How many billionaires do you know of that have gone to jail?

Weinberger didn't even have to go through the inconvenience of a trial.  Bush pardoned him even before the prosecutors could get to that.

 

"Independent Counsel's Statement on the Pardons
By REUTERS
Following is a statement by the independent counsel, Lawrence E. Walsh, regarding pardons granted today by President Bush.

President Bush's pardon of Caspar Weinberger and other Iran-contra defendants undermines the principle that no man is above the law. It demonstrates that powerful people with powerful allies can commit serious crimes in high office -- deliberately abusing the public trust without consequence.

Weinberger, who faced four felony charges, deserved to be tried by a jury of citizens. Although it is the President's prerogative to grant pardons, it is every American's right that the criminal justice system be administered fairly, regardless of a person's rank and connections.

The Iran-contra cover-up, which has continued for more than six years, has now been completed with the pardon of Caspar Weinberger. We will make a full report on our findings to Congress and the public describing the details and extent of this cover-up.

Weinberger's early and deliberate decision to conceal and withhold extensive contemporaneous notes of the Iran-contra matter radically altered the official investigations and possibly forestalled timely impeachment proceedings against President Reagan and other officials. Weinberger's notes contain evidence of a conspiracy among the highest-ranking Reagan Administration officials to lie to Congress and the American public. Because the notes were withheld from investigators for years, many of the leads were impossible to follow, key witnesses had purportedly forgotten what was said and done, and statutes of limitation had expired.

 Weinberger's concealment of notes is part of a disturbing pattern of deception and obstruction that permeated the highest levels of the Reagan and Bush Administrations. This office was informed only within the past two weeks, on December 11, 1992, that President Bush had failed to produce to investigators his own highly relevant contemporaneous notes, despite repeated requests for such documents. The production of these notes is still ongoing and will lead to appropriate action. In light of President Bush's own misconduct, we are gravely concerned about his decision to pardon others who lied to Congress and obstructed official investigations."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 20:09 | 2285616 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, I guess my beef was the comparison of government officials soley and private individuals with influence on government officials.

"Weinberger didn't even have to go through the inconvenience of a trial.  Bush pardoned him even before the prosecutors could get to that."

It was the same with private individual Rich of course. No trial, no conviction. And he did trade with Iran while US hostages were being held by them.

But yes, every fiber of my body says Corzine will hop on his private jet to Vanuatu or the Maldives or...stay right here till the December pardon ;-)

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 10:18 | 2286431 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

 

"He only stole money from innocent customers and lied to Congress."

 

Are you implying that's illegal now on Wall Street?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:22 | 2285825 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

TruthInSunshine asked:

Certainly a Presidential Pardon wouldn't be an impossibility, on the assumption that Obama wins re-election, no?

It would just involve a simple change of title, from Obama Bundler to Obama Fluffer.

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:20 | 2284827 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

I think his cell mate should be Elmo Blatch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtnDFS0RhuY

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:29 | 2284883 Tim White
Tim White's picture

Where do you find this shit?? LMAO!!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:44 | 2284943 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Corzines cell mate should be Ben Dover!

Fletch Meets Ben Dover - YouTube

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:54 | 2285007 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I like this prison cell for Corzine, I like the "community feel" about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJR91JymH9Q

 

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2285394 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

"The uploader has not made this video available in your country.

Sorry about that."
What a world, eh?
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 23:43 | 2285938 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Must be a UK thing, it's OK here (in the UK). So much for the Internet being available everywhere. Who owns Youtube again?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:55 | 2285010 resurger
resurger's picture

Epic post man +1

"him and that tasty bitch he? was with"

eh eh hah ah hahahahahah!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:06 | 2285044 Bob
Bob's picture

I don't know why that made me laugh so hard! 

I mean, scary. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:37 | 2285129 Awakened Sheeple
Awakened Sheeple's picture

I just shot beer out of my nose from laughing so hard you sick fucker! LOL

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:20 | 2284829 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

That's all heresay.  Unless they have a video tape of him signing a piece of paper and clearing stating orally that he wants the funds transfered to JPMorgan, he will walk away free.  An email of a guy saying that Corzine told him something means nothing.  Its only guilt until proven innocent if you are poor.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:59 | 2285026 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That's what I was thinking. Is this just more cover-up in the form of a sloppy, perhaps easily refutable attack?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2284836 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

lmao today's a fun day haha

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:30 | 2284890 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

The word 'surreal' used to be pretty overused so I shy away from it. That said, I don't know how else to describe today. Bring in the clowns...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2284968 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

These days make a Salvador Dali paintings look like normal nature landscape paintings.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2284838 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

"JC" in the can, I believe it when I see it! He will walk away unharmed! The little shits will get it!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2284839 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

It's all a misunderstanding on his part...he had no idea what he was doing.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2284951 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

He can plead insanity and then proceed to speak in tongues.

The Corzine insanity plea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1u6e4MWpTIQ&t=3m16s

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:03 | 2285034 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

How about we leave that worthless Cohen out of this discussion? Better yet, leave him and his hate-mongering in the form of comedy out of everything.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2284972 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

John Corzine: "I did not have signatures with that paper."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284846 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Corzined definition: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/bit-humor-amid-financial-insanity#comment-...

(HUMOR HIJACKING)

A Bit Of Humor Amid The Financial Insanity

"Investors back historic Greek debt swap" - FT headline 9.3.2012.

BANK, n. Bottomless cavity in the ground that sucks in money and the unwary. 
I had quite a bit of money but then I put it in the bank.

BOND, n. A profitless contrivance used for catching the gullible or feeble-minded. 
That pension fund is 100% in bonds now.

BROKER, adj. A comparative descriptive state for a client of a Wall Street bank. 
He didn't exactly have a lot of money before he started dealing with Goldman Sachs. Now he's even broker.

BUBBLE, n. Fundamental prerequisite for a functioning Anglo-Saxon economy.
We need a new bubble to replace the ones we had in dotcom and property.

CENTRAL BANK, n. Lobbyist for commercial banks well versed in alchemy.

CURRENCY, n. Largely intangible substance with an inherent property that tends to instantaneous evaporation, the destruction of life and the permanent impairment of wealth.
I had money once but then I exchanged it for currency in a moment of madness.

DEFAULT, n. Semi-mythical celestial occurrence that passes by Earth every 76 years. 
I was worried for a second about that Greek default, but I realise there's nothing to see now and all is well.

FEDERAL RESERVE, n. A wholly owned subsidiary of Goldman Sachs.
The Federal Reserve voted to give a few more billion dollars to Wall Street.

GREECE, n. An undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally but results in harm, injury, damage and colossal loss of wealth. And profits for Goldman Sachs.
Did you see Greece ? Sheesh.

HORLICK, n. Progressive and insufficiently appreciated investment visionary.

HOUSE, n. In most countries, simply a place to live. In Britain, a theoretically infinite source of perpetual tax revenue for deluded Lib Dems. (This is tautological. - Ed.)

INVESTOR, n. Plucky protagonist admired for brave deeds and quixotic struggling who is about to get shafted by Wall Street interests.
I was an investor in euro zone sovereign bonds but then everything went Greek.

JAPAN, n. Where hopes of profit go to die.

KEYNES, n. Slang: Vulgar. Disparaging and offensive.
That joker Posen is a complete Keynes.

POLITICIAN, n. Someone better informed than you about how to spend your money.

RATINGS AGENCY, n. A professional entertainer who amuses by relating absurd and fantastical tales.
That ratings agency's credit assessment was so funny, I had to change my trousers.

RESTRUCTURING, n. Statutory rape.
Those bondholders are undergoing a voluntary restructuring - you might even call it a 'credit event'.

ROGUE TRADER, n. Unprofitable proprietary trader. (Hat-tip to Killian Connolly.)

SOCIETY, n. The process whereby wealth is diverted from taxpayers to banks.

TAXPAYER, n. Simple-minded dolt too foolish to be working for the government.

US GOVERNMENT, n. Another wholly owned subsidiary of Goldman Sachs.
We seem to be running out of Goldman Sachs alumni here in the Treasury. No, wait, we've still got hundreds of 'em. 
 
VINCE CABLE, n. (No longer in technical use; considered offensive) a person of the lowest order in a former and discarded classification of mental retardation. 
Don't be a Vince Cable - get down off that wardrobe and come and eat your tea!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284848 Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson's picture

Jersey baby!  We dont pump our gas we pump our fists!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284855 Thomas Jefferson
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:44 | 2284960 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

I wonder if his spoiled kids will write another love letter on how great their father is.  Will they they even show up to the hearings?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:30 | 2285523 booboo
booboo's picture

Trust me, if his spawn thought they could make more money finking on daddy they would be singin like a caged canary.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284849 There is No Spoon
There is No Spoon's picture

"Corzined," "muppetized," the 2012 vocabulary just keeps getting better. Looks like some populist pandering going on into the elections, first Keystone flip flop now this. Even if he gets convicted he'll be pardoned eventually.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:34 | 2284906 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Mupt;  same as "Schtup" or "Shtup"[Yiddish]  Schtup;  to have or be "intercoursed"  (coloquial; to be "schtupt"[ed]  by hand puppet)

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:04 | 2285038 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Technically "Corzined" is 2011. However, it may be years before it reaches the general public, if ever at all.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:26 | 2285831 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"Corzine-holed" (ask a former MF Global customer for the proper definition)

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284850 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

A little end around delay by Holder, maybe a presidential pardon and voila! Corzine will never ever see a day in jail.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:26 | 2285098 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

He'll never even see the inside of a courtroom that isn't filled to the brim with Kangaroos, let alone be coherently prosecuted.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:47 | 2285169 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

No one sees it coming -- NATIONAL SECURITY GETS HIM OFF!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:24 | 2284854 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Come on Corzine land The Dimon in it, let's make this a fuckin' riot.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:28 | 2284874 surf0766
surf0766's picture

They are both Dem's. Neither one will get into any trouble over this.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:23 | 2285091 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I'm not so sure, they're getting desperate at the "top" and they need to make sacrafices, its every man for himself now

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:35 | 2285542 Obadiah
Obadiah's picture

exaclty  I hope so

 

Need....more....time....to....accumulate....phyz

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:31 | 2285843 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Global Hunter said:

I'm not so sure, they're getting desperate at the "top" and they need to make sacrafices, its every man for himself now

He who squeals best might not have to squeal worst.

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:26 | 2284859 Sutton
Sutton's picture

Friday afternoon dump  We must stay on top of this and get JPM to return the Loot    Then we get MF hierarchy in jail.  then we look into getting the JPM hierarchy in jail.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2284871 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Either way, it might be time to short the banks.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:26 | 2284861 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

So, will a warrant be issued or will we continue to allow this crook to run the streets?  Anybody got the scoop if FBI is working on an arrest warrant?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:50 | 2285183 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

That implies justice, so NO FUCKING WAY -- NOT AT ALL -- NADA.

Why?  Because he's an ex politician, and rich.  You will see the power of his fortune and incorporation keep him away from all matters of so-called "enforcement."

 

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:17 | 2285815 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture

Maybe thats why there will be a revolution.

When people have nothing to loose and are baying for blood Obummer and his handlers will face the music.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:26 | 2284863 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Well you see, this will all come down to what the definition of "is" is.

Halarity to resume.  Maybe we get lucky and corzine is "dissappeared".

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2284866 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Fuckin A.

I think hell just froze over.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:39 | 2284933 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

If not it's getting damn cool.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:41 | 2284944 Conman
Conman's picture

No, hell was just seasonally adjusted. To be revised to frozen next month.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2284868 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Ha Fucking Ha! Seems like I remember someone writing about "reckless allegations and assertions" not to long ago in Vanity Fair....hmmmm, who was that...oh yes, I remember it was the Corzine family. I hope they throw this bum under the jail.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2284869 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

JC?   J C ?   And you connect this with Mr. Corzine?    What are you stupid or something?   I was referring to Jesus Christ you morons.  We take our orders from the big guy.

Signed, Edith.  xoxo

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:32 | 2284872 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Give it up bitches. Eric Holder too busy busting white balls for supposed race crimes to be bothered with shit like this. Oh, that and running guns. Only a few million angry people showing up at his office can change his mind.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:28 | 2284876 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Don Calzone has the DOJ and SEC investigators in his pocket like so many nickels and dimes

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:28 | 2284879 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Will Corzine spill any beans on others? Thats what I want to know.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:29 | 2284880 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

from a Dilbert cartoon:

Prospectus: The Latin word for "Close your eyes and open your mouth."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:29 | 2284882 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

so they found where .2b went....what about the other 1.4b??

this has bush crime syndicate written all over it....corzine walks...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:37 | 2284922 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

surely you mean the obama crime syndicate ? Corzine will go to jail....remember Kenny Boy Lay? 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:09 | 2285048 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Bush? W was an idiot, but thats pathologically insane. What a freaking dolt.

Guess where BO started his fundraising for his campaign last yer? Yep, Corzine's house...

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0411/52618.html

Let me guess- its W's fault that BO raised money there?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:31 | 2285110 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why are you trying to create a division where one doesn't exist?

Both "sides" are fully owned by Wall St., and the "Bush crime family" goes all the way back to W's grandpa, Prescott. If you think they are no longer involved just because the new guy looks different, well...

you might want to take the hook out of your mouth.

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:22 | 2285498 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

+1. Totally agree. BO=GWB=banks

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 20:39 | 2285664 azusgm
azusgm's picture

Don't forget W's maternal line.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:07 | 2285264 Kali
Kali's picture

People need to start pounding Oblahma on his campaign with the question.  Will you pardon Corzine? Make him say it.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:31 | 2284892 Stuart
Stuart's picture

BUT what will be done about it?  A slap on the wrist... i.e. next to nothing.  Watch.   It's the Den of thieves after-all. 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:52 | 2285200 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

...meanwhile driving across a white line at a crosswalk lands everyone else in the klink.

Justice abortions for the rich!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:07 | 2285269 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

...or not completing the siding on your house.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYd98Xsq6eQ

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:32 | 2284894 Tuffmug
Tuffmug's picture

Corzine will be given immunity to testify against that scumbag lowly clerk at MF who completed the wire transfer as ordered!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:32 | 2284895 Conman
Conman's picture

Please please let this take down that smug fuck Dimon. i have never wished ill on a human being until the past 3 years.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2284999 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Unfortunately not a lot to do with Dimon. He is merely a counterparty with a first claim by law.

You are merely a counter party to your bank. With a claim on your deposit. By the way not a first in line claim. First in line claim is for the folks on the other side of the trade. Banks/Brokers blow up, trade settles, counterparty gets paid, and you get what is left over. In instance of FDIC insured insitution you get made whole up to $250k. Other than that you are shit out of luck. Such is the USA banking system, post Glass-Stegall.

Wonder why confidence in system is soooo high?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:31 | 2285845 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

slewie is confident enuf for both of us, Li_z!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:32 | 2284896 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

If you remember :

http://thepoliticalcoffeehouse.com/2011/12/15/jon-corzine-threated-with-...

Jon Corzine Threatened With Death By Jamie Dimon

So of course Corzine broke the law to pay Dimon.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:36 | 2284916 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

So we've got death threats on paper, embezzlement, and perjury clear-cut on record between 2 of the top execs in the biggest banks in the country...if that was me of course I'd already be in prison, lets see what happens to these guys.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2284952 Cdad
Cdad's picture

...but I would bust you out, Dog!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2284996 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

At some point here (should have been done already) we're going to have to say 'Fuck it, we're going in with ropes and hang these cocksuckers'!

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:12 | 2285058 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Cue applause...

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:25 | 2285097 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The corruption is wildly "in your face" these days.  It does make a guy wonder what will ultimately stop this madness.  My guess is...it will ultimately be the bond market that settles it all...once Ben Bernanke is out of the way.

It is almost a corruption contest between the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street and DC.  It is hard to pick a winner there.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:45 | 2284966 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Where's the proof, or even the plausible explanation as to how Max came into this knowledge?

Seems a lot more like fiction to me.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:54 | 2285005 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

wow I missed that.  Well if its true if Corzine goes becomes a rat and goes into witness protection that could cause a few sleepless nights on wall street.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:33 | 2284899 It_Can't_Happen_Here
It_Can't_Happen_Here's picture

Without his political connections Corzine would simply be called a compulsive gambler and/or serial liar.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:40 | 2284942 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

NO he would be called a common criminal.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:20 | 2285082 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

I'd prefer him being called sugar lips by his cellmates.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 18:03 | 2285105 It_Can't_Happen_Here
It_Can't_Happen_Here's picture

True, I was talking aside from him being convicted (which is unlikely). In the land where the ukelele playing POS from Obamaha is worshiped as some kind of investing genius and Timmah is Treasury Sec, he will be up for some new job and all of the fraud will be forgotten by the masses.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:34 | 2284905 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I wanna see "Mr. Panos" commenting on Mr Corzine.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:35 | 2284907 pleseus
pleseus's picture

Isn't JP Morgan short the entire Comex Silver market?  Something smells fishy here.  I think the CFTC needs another 3 years to figure out that something ain't right in commodity land.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:17 | 2285063 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

What's that old saying... Oh yeah I got it.... "Don't hold your breath..."

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:36 | 2284921 ReallySparky
ReallySparky's picture

Tyler, why is this news not at the top for a while?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:40 | 2284940 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Yo Sparkey - its because the Lame Stream Media is all over it...24/7.

Haven't you been watching CNN, CNBC, the Al Sharpton network, PBS, CBS, ABC, The View,.....

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:11 | 2285470 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

They always dump these stories into the news flow late on Fridays, in the hope that by Monday the whole thing will be forgotten.

I don't think that's what is going to happen this time.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:37 | 2284926 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

This will be buried some place deep and dark kind of like the warehouse in The Raiders of the Lost Arc

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:39 | 2284934 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

gun demand at an all time high.. Hmm.. imagine that.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:55 | 2284956 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Ruger stopped taking orders because they can't keep up.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:45 | 2284967 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Its the ammo part thats important unless pistol whipping and butt stroking is the prefered method of dispatching the nasties. Personally those methods should be reserved for bankers and politicians.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:40 | 2284937 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Life with pictures is sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2284948 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

oops responded to the wrong link.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2284950 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Amazing how this news comes out on a friday afternoon. Oh what am I saying, thats the normal MO and most folks will not watch the news tonight,  if they do they will forget it by monday morning.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:56 | 2285016 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Putting out the trash.

Washington speak.

Phrase coined by Bubba Clinton.

Always of a Friday PM for the very reason you stated.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2284971 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

How can company funds be LEGALLY allowed to be placed in a Customer Segregated Account?

Call me a fuckin' idiot but that IS NOT SEGREGATED in any way.

"But, but they were company funds I ordered to be used, not client funds"

Now they CREATE some paperwork to show it WAS company funds. 

This is a fuckin' clown shown.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:47 | 2284974 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

+1 if this all REALLY PISSES YOU OFF.

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 07:26 | 2286266 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

This world is so fukked up........four people junked you.

 

I guess the criminal's union has weighed in......seems there's a union for everything these daze.

 

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:49 | 2284981 resurger
resurger's picture

SDDD

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2284994 digalert
digalert's picture

Last I heard, Jon the Don Corzine raised $500k for the O's 2012 world tour and beyond campaign. Think anyone in CONgress has the huevos to do anything?

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 16:53 | 2285003 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Fuck waiting for clowngress to do something.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 17:39 | 2285137 spinone
spinone's picture

In an election year someone will make an issue of it.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 19:11 | 2285473 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

I think the republicans plan on letting Barry O have another four years because their mutual bosses, TPTB, have so much invested in Barry and because Barry's doing such a marvelous (and profitable) job for all the ones on top.

They do need to do the show, because the livestock need to think they actually have something to say about it. Silly livestock!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!