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Corzine "Simply Does Not Know Where The Money Is" - Presenting Jon Corzine's Complete Testimony To Congress

Tyler Durden's picture


Probably far more anticipated than the monetary announcements out of BOE (which just announced it is keeping rates at a record low of 0.5%, but no more QE), or even the ECB, and certainly far more than the latest and not greatest European summit which begins today, is the 9am testimony out of the House Agriculture Committee by one "Honorable" Jon S. Corzine, as well as the Q&A that will follow. Naturally the Q&A will be the focus, but as for the prepared remarks, they have just been released and are presented below. The choice selection: "Obviously on the forefront of everyone’s mind – including mine – are the varying reports that customer accounts have not been reconciled. I was stunned when I was told on Sunday, October 30, 2011, that MF Global could not account for many hundreds of millions of dollars of client money. I remain deeply concerned about the impact that the unreconciled and frozen funds have had on MF Global’s customers and others. As the chief executive officer of MF Global, I ultimately had overall responsibility for the firm. I did not, however, generally involve myself in the mechanics of  the clearing and settlement of trades, or in the movement of cash and collateral. Nor was I an expert on the complicated rules and regulations governing the various different operating businesses that comprised MF Global. I had little expertise or experience in those operational aspects of the business. Again, I want to emphasize that, since my resignation from MF Global on November 3, 2011, I have not had access to the information that I would need to understand what happened. It is extremely difficult for me to reconstruct the events that occurred during the chaotic days and the last hours leading up to the bankruptcy filing....I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date. I do not know which accounts are unreconciled or whether the unreconciled accounts were or were not subject to the segregation rules. Moreover, there were an extraordinary number of transactions during MF Global’s last few days, and I do not know, for example, whether there were operational errors at MF Global or elsewhere, or whether banks  and counterparties have held onto funds that should rightfully have been returned to MF Global." Translation - he pleads da FIF.



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Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:10 | 1957781 qussl3
qussl3's picture

Then what the fuck were they employing him for.

FUcking know nothing CEO?


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:22 | 1957807 sooner_gold
Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:26 | 1957814 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Nah, they hired him precisely because he could lie with a straight face. Lying with a straight face is a pre-requisite for Suck-cess in the current world. 

Justice, authentic justice, will visit everyone in the end, but some of these smug assholes, be nice to see them get it NOW.



Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:55 | 1957832 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Corzine fucked up New Jersey, then fucked up MF Global

..there's a pattern emerging here, but Corzine knows "nothing" about what he did

one wonders why Biden and Obumma had him on the end of a phone for economic advise? Did Corzine ever face-up and tell the Presidential Team he knows fuck all about anything going on! 

So another gambling junkie Goldman Sucks CEO of rape and ruin hits the wall ...i trust fucked over MF clients like Celente will be down at the hearing with rope to meat out some real justice as apposed the corrupt-to-the-core shitshow and protection racket the Govt runs 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:02 | 1957890 jez
jez's picture

He don't know nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin' 'bout nuttin.  


Moreover, he don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin 'bout knowin' nuttin 'bout nuttin'.


How come ah cain't never git me no job where I don't not never need to know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'?


It ain't right.



Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:16 | 1957923 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Do you think Grammar may play a part....

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:46 | 1958010 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Sgt. "Shultz" Corzine, "I know nothing, I see nothing, I wasn't even there."

At least Berrnie knew where the money went.  Go after this asswipe's personal assets to satisfy the money missing from client's accounts.  Plus, clawback Clinton's $50K/month consulting fees. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:06 | 1958089 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

The ONLY way to ensure this NEVER happens again is to make sure the Federal Reserve explicitly approves every member of the financial services industry, and delegate the Federal Reserve the power to strip securities dealing licenses away from those they deem incompetent. This will cleanse the system, and ensure that fraud is a thing of the past.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1958326 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:07 | 1958460 Fake Jim Quinn
Fake Jim Quinn's picture

Million Dollar Bonus is what is called "droll humor". He's an acquired taste

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:56 | 1958705 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Yep!  And the only reason he gets positve votes is so his comments don't roll off under the threshold (why I vote him up)!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:07 | 1959036 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



CONgressSquidProxy:      Mr. Corzine, do you know where the missing funds are?


John Corzine:                 I believe you may or may not find it under the FIFnizz.


CONgressSquidProxy:      You're refusing to answer based on the 5th Amednment?


John Corzine:                 That depends on your definitions of "to".....FIIIIF.


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:43 | 1957999 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Ignorance is strength!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:52 | 1958372 Breaker
Breaker's picture

"He don't know nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin' 'bout nuttin."

With a compliant media, the Hillary Clinton defense works every time.

What is your name? "I don't recall"

What is your date of birth? "I don't know"

Why were the Rose Lawfirm records found in your office at the White House after being missing for years? "I do not presently recall."

Is that a chair you are sitting in? "I do not know."

Works every time.



Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:58 | 1958048 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

"protection racket"

So true... Government's main job now is to protect the corrupt elite who've been caught red-handed from any citizen who still believes in justice. However, Obama is just a puppet and so will be the Republican nominee. It's silly to think otherwise.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:47 | 1958338 Fake Jim Quinn
Fake Jim Quinn's picture

The real issue is MF's Board. They hired a guy who, when Governor, told his driver to do 90mph on the Garden State Parkway, at night. He then did not wear a seat-belt. Corzine thus ordered a crime to his driver, and broke the law by not wearing a seat-belt. So laws do not apply to Corzine quite clearly. Now tell me why arrogance, recklessness and criminality get rewarded with being the CEO of a firm that relies on risk management. This was foreseeable for miles

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:52 | 1959454 Questan1913
Questan1913's picture

Corzine was Goldmans conduit to the White House.

Fri, 12/09/2011 - 07:29 | 1962191 JohnF
JohnF's picture

Well, considering his connections and credentials, Corazine is on the best path for becoming the Democratic candidate for President in 2016...

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:30 | 1958236 Jean
Jean's picture

I understand the ability to lie - but this is a dangerous lie.  All it is going to take is a couple of memo's the he was cc'd on or a few weasels saying he was briefed to blow holes in this story.  Remind me not to hire his lawyer.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:47 | 1958341 pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

OHI, if we rational people waited around for your kind of justice nothing would ever get done.  You push a slave religion from a slave's point of view.  It doesn't matter which brand you put on it, it amounts to a slaves dream.  In the meantime, the winners don't give a fuck if you think they'll get theirs in the end.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:05 | 1957893 obelisks
obelisks's picture

" I simply do not know where the money is "


But isn't that the reason they have a Securities Industries licensing system ? A licence which this guy didn't have ?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:31 | 1957960 Willzyx
Willzyx's picture

He has licenses.  Run a broker check at FINRA and see for your self.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:39 | 1958286 obelisks
obelisks's picture

but evidently not all of them ?

" Now, we learn that FINRA failed to require Jon Corzine to re-qualify for certain securities licenses that were required of the head of a securities broker-dealer "

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:36 | 1957983 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

"money for nothing and chicks for free..."

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:38 | 1957987 I Got Worms
I Got Worms's picture

Waterboard the bastard. Then ask him again.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:49 | 1958022 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Let Gerald Celente do it.  Financial Fucking Terrorist is what Corzine is.  While they are set up to waterboard do Bernake and Paulson, too.  Find out all the shit they pulled.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:23 | 1959231 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

and you know Celente would be willing to do it!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 16:00 | 1960134 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

In a NY second, and he would be good at it.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:57 | 1958056 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

It was the clerk's fault.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1958417 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Actually that's the defense implied by CNBC.  Apparently Corzine is hinting that he knows nothing but does know a name of someone that might.  Cramer simply getting a boner on the possibility that Corzine is going to get away with it.  No outrage, no confusion on how it could happen that way...just simple giddiness that Corzine has a way to cover his ass and not do time.  God forbid one of the elite get held accountable for their crimes. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:05 | 1958098 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Who else is in favor of water boarding this ASS PIRATE?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:10 | 1957782 Irish66
Irish66's picture

well if that doesn't cause everyone to get the hell out of the market now, you have no one to


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:13 | 1957783 jcaz
jcaz's picture

"...Not an expert..."

Jon Corzine for Treasury Secretary!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:18 | 1957801 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Peter Schiff wants Bernie Madoff as TS. I'm inclined to agree.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:13 | 1957784 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Remember, every time someone says "the fifth" today, you have to drink a shot from your fifth!

Thanks for getting it kicked off today, Tyler!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:51 | 1958682 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

If that's the plan you're going to need more than 1 fifth.  I'm thinking 2 litre jug.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:13 | 1957786 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Plead da fif:

Arsehole Corzine.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:18 | 1957802 Cow
Cow's picture

One - Two - Three - Four - FIF!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:50 | 1958028 StopTaseringMe
StopTaseringMe's picture

Thanks Cow, your little Chappelle reference just covered my keyboard with java.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:14 | 1957787 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:14 | 1957788 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Which is worse, criminal or incompetent or both ?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:57 | 1957845 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you mean Corzine didn't know he was betting big on Eurozone debt?

and when the bets went rotten he didn't know he was bailing them out with looted client funds??

he'll 'forget' his own name next

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:32 | 1957964 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Corzine = Rubin Jr.

"I got $130 billion from Citi for brilliant leadership and expertise..."

After $400 Billion Taxpayer Bailouts

"I really wasn't that involved..."

Batting order on Bastille Day... Hank Paulson, Rubin, Corzine, Dimon, Blankfein...

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:15 | 1957790 The Axe
The Axe's picture

How can  a former ceo of Goldman plead being a idiot as a defense.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:01 | 1957880 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Because laws be damned, only to protect them from YOU!

Therefore, please wear this badge on your left arm all the time, you can't buy a loaf of bread without it.

Protocol is all Senators must kiss the ring before and after the hearing.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:15 | 1957791 ucsbcanuck
ucsbcanuck's picture

Where is ze money Corzine?

We cut off your johnson Corzine!

Ja, we cut off your johnson,,,

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:16 | 1957794 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Sadly, in this case, the money literally has been flushed down the toilet. JPM are sitting on it.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:36 | 1957981 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

"Ve vant ze money, Corzine..."

"Ja and no funny stuff..."

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:59 | 1958064 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"Where is the money, Corzine? Where's the fucking money, shithead?"

 "It's uh... uh.... it's down there somewhere. Let me take another look."

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 19:59 | 1961191 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1 FEDbuster...

Obviously the person who junked me isn't a golfer...

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:16 | 1957792 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Ignorance is no excuse. Unless you're a connected billionaire, that is.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:45 | 1958330 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

I'm sure Corzine took notes from his Goldman Sachs ignorant.  Who give's a fuck if you look completely incompetent? 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:17 | 1957796 Killtruck
Killtruck's picture

There are soooo many Amendments...I can only choose one...I plead da FIF *pop pop*

One, two, three, four, FIF!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:17 | 1957797 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Do we throw him to the Tea Party or OWS?  Which would be more entertaining since we're short on lions around here.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:28 | 1957818 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Tea Party is armed.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:32 | 1957826 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

ehmm... compared to whom? Ghandi was not armed, btw, and he won

being armed is fine for me but it's often a very, very bad argument

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:40 | 1957839 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Vlad asked which is more entertaining. I ventured one way it could be entertaining. 

For maximum entertainment, I say give leave him in a room with the folks who can't get to their monies in their accounts, the ones who he "co-mingled" with their funds. They would like to "co-mingle" with him, I am sure.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:21 | 1957935 Dugald
Dugald's picture

And a stout pole with a long sharp point......

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:51 | 1958032 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

Yeah, but Gandhi had the whole loin cloth thing going on.

You want to see Michael Moore in a loin cloth?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1958109 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Wow, Ghandi only won because he went against the Brits. Any other authority would have thrown him in the Ganges with his head in his hands..  Perhaps you can give us some historical examples of unarmed people defeating armed despots who are serious about staying in power.  Oh yeah, violence never solved anything, lol..

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:13 | 1958497 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Once when Stalin was planning on doing some terrible thing, someone asked him "What will the Catholic Church think?". Stalin's response "How many divisions does the Pope have". Being armed absolutely does matter. Why do you think Iran is so eager to get nuclear weapons? Because when you have nukes, nobody fucks with you.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:54 | 1957869 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

But are they willing to pull the trigger on a "job creator"?

Corzine seems pretty much on point for the OWS list of Festivus grievances to be aired.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:40 | 1957897 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

The Tea Party is a bunch of corporatist hacks. If you give him to a NJ Tea Party group, justice may be served, but your average T.P. member worship the corporate elite. It's your average citizen receiving anything from the government they despise. With that said OWS is a bunch of douchey, useless, hippies (as proven by the take down of their encampments and their fade into nothingness).

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:09 | 1958121 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Whoa, cut back on the Ed Schultz and Rachel Madcow you are uninformed..

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:17 | 1957798 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

And this is the man Joe Biden first thought of when they needed financial advice.


Mind you what does that say about Blankfein, Dimon et al total fuckin' retards I guess.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:17 | 1957799 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

In his first of 21 pages of remarks John uses the word bankruptcy twice but the issue at hand is the theft that took place before the bankruptcy.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:55 | 1957800 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

Hehehe....Corzine...the new Houdini.

Oh, one more thing,there occasionally comes a time when i press the UNMUTE button while watching CNBC to hear what sorta crap they're mumbling.This early mornin' appeared a clown Raymond James's Chief Strategist -Jeff Taut who gave an outstanding performance by desperately trying to sell one o'those Sgt.Bilko 'you'll never get rich' ideas to the public.

Funny, this time around he blamed the ENTIRE European Crisis for holding back 2011's 'Santa Claus Rally'....LOL

BTW, he was missin' a moustache.....probably t'was knocked off by one of his clients who recently found his/her portfolio had blown-up.

Any folks holdin' brokerage accounts with Raymond James?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:19 | 1957803 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

He doesn't know where client funds are: Did he check the stock room, come on Corzine, think, THINK MAN lol.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:32 | 1957808 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Celente: "Bitch, where's my money?"

Corzine: "I simply do not know where the money is?"

Celente: "Show me the money!"

Corzine: "I am not an expert!"

Celente: "Goddammit you stupid bitch" [Slap!]

Corsine: I Madoff wit' cho' money. I got's down wid da money. Get down boy, come on, get down.

Get down boy, come on get down.

Celente, solo:

He take my money when I'm in need
Yeah he's a trifling friend indeed
Oh he's a gold digger way over town
That dig's on me

(He takes me money)
Now I ain't sayin' he a gold digger (When I'm in Need)
But he ain't messin' with no broke niggas
(He takes me money)
Now I ain't sayin' he a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But he ain't messin' with no broke niggas
Get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down boy gone head

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:46 | 1957849 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Gimme half an hour with Corzine and a Mikita drill and I'll find yer money (or at least a fungible likeness).

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:54 | 1957871 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Was suppose to buy shorty TYCO with your money
He went to the doctor got lypo with your money
He walking around looking like Michael with your money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for your money

He know how to triffle wid cho money

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:06 | 1958091 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"What now? Let me tell you what now  I am going to get pair of pliers and a blowtorch.  I am going to get Medieval on his ass"


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:27 | 1957809 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

And the dog ate Corzine's homework.

Who let the dogs out?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:25 | 1957811 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

So, instead of Chappelle, Corize is going with the Uncle Leo:

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:27 | 1957816 death_to_fed_tyranny
death_to_fed_tyranny's picture

Let's do away with the formalities. Bring out the piano wire and hang this piece of shit known as Corzine.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:09 | 1957891 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Agreed ...anyone thinks they'll get any sense out of pathalogical liars has a screw loose

this afternoons BS Bonanza is going to be one long worthless farce of posturing politicos and that slippery Sachs shit, Corzine

The Republican, Democrat and Bernanke Era is coming apart at the seems for the criminal scum they are... don't try to make any fuking sense of it, just let a pitchfork and rope do your thinking 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:28 | 1957819 yabyum
yabyum's picture

A couple of days with Buuba in the gray bar will do wonders for the memory.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:31 | 1957824 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

I am sure market confidence will return with testimony like that.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:52 | 1957864 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Yep ..he didn't know what was happening at Goldman Sucks nor as Governor of New Jersey either

just can't get the staff nowadays

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:32 | 1957825 youngman
youngman's picture

I bet as this gets exciting..we see Ole John transfering alot of his wealth to his family for cents....just like Madoff tried to do....

Doesn´t know anything..what a defence....I am dumb...but I was a Senator and the Head of Goldman Je Bidens confidant....rotflmao....

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:36 | 1957831 EverythingEviL
EverythingEviL's picture

Freaking CEO of the company and he didn't involve himself in anything and wasn't an expert in the operations? How stupid do these bastards think everyone is? What next Jon? Water isn't wet? This scum and all his government connected buddies need to be HUNG this instant, no F'ing joke! F'ing scum

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:41 | 1957841 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I'll have you know CEOs are well-compensated for not knowing anything about their operations. Without them, companies would have to find the "talent" to not know anything and how easy do you think it is to find people that want to be paid hundreds of times what the average drone does for doing nothing of value past the next 10K filing?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:59 | 1958062 XitSam
XitSam's picture

My guess: this was a set-up from as far back as the Refco deal. Not as a plan, but as a contingency. It is too convenient that Corzine resigned immediatly after the bankruptcy filing so he cannot document what happend and denies that he knew what was happening. An ex-GS CEO that doesn't know what is happing in his company? Is too blind to know where a billion dollars went? You don't get to this level without knowing where all the nickels are. And the bankruptcy trustee (if he can be called that) cannot or will not trace the transfers of money? Brokerage accounts looted which may have kept JPM and the CME alive? Too perfect to just happen by chance.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 17:42 | 1960770 EverythingEviL
EverythingEviL's picture

I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he was paid to be an innocent face of the company while all the other crooks did the dirty work behind the scenes. I don't believe for one second he was alone in this. That's why none of them should have one red cent left to their names as long as a single penny of customer money is missing, then they all need to be strung up!!!

Fri, 12/09/2011 - 00:02 | 1961803 XitSam
XitSam's picture

For a guy like Corzine to chance going to jail? So a guarantee of no jail + payoff. How high up would you have to be to make such a promise? Hmmm.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:37 | 1957834 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Did you try looking in the Caymans, Corzine, you talking penis?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:40 | 1957837 sumo
sumo's picture

[At the hearing]

Corzine: I am shocked, shocked that gambling was going on at MF Global.

[a CFTC staffer hands Corzine a cheque]

Staffer: Your winnings, sir.

Corzine: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:02 | 1958080 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Captain Renault: Round up the ususal suspects.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:18 | 1958532 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Now there was a guy with a sweet job - Captain Renault in Casablanca. Got a share of the winnings, got to have sex with hot, young jewish chicks who were looking for letters of transit. That was the life.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:41 | 1957843 Rip van Wrinkle
Rip van Wrinkle's picture

I thought these fuckers were meant to be clever. Couldn't they have dreamt up something a bit more believable? 'I don't know nuffink, mate, 'onest!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:15 | 1957917 magpie
magpie's picture

It's either that or the "I was only following orders" defense.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:19 | 1957844 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

No one saw it coming!! Corzine is the REAL victim! He forgot how to count numbers and the pinstripes are just rented!

Business as usual in the financial mafia of legal untouchables.

Congress will eat it up, too!! get ready to see another two tiered justice abortion on tv. Maybe even Dick E Holder will present a good Samaritan award for the next treasury secretary --- count on it!

No "crime" here, just a misunderstanding about the definition of money.

Perhaps a fucking gun to his brothers head in the back of the senate chambers might help him to recall. Fight fire with fire.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:44 | 1957847 max2205
max2205's picture

We waited 30 days and.... That's all he said

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:46 | 1957850 weinerdog43
weinerdog43's picture

Say what you will about Illinois crooked pols, but when we catch 'em, they go to jail.  We've had 4 governors in my lifetime do time.  Kerner, Walker, Ryan and now Blago.  How many feds in the clink?  Zero.  Scooter frickin Libby got off for Christ sakes. 

I'll lay odds that Corzine is not going to do 14 days compared to Blago's 14 years.  It's bipartisan pigs wallowing in the money trough.  But its our money and I'm furious.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:12 | 1958146 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

I forget what did that Libby guy do anyway?  Everyone knows Armitage did the deed, he admitted it you know that right?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:51 | 1957862 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Where's Dick "Waterboard'em" Cheyney when you need him the most?!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:06 | 1957896 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

+1 Absolutely.  

.GOV has determined that waterboarding is not torture, it is just a harmless but effective interview technique.  I can think of no better instance to utilize this valuable interrogation tool.  That would be perfect.  

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:08 | 1957902 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

He's signing the treasury check to balance the accounts.

Where the fuck else?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:51 | 1957863 earnulf
earnulf's picture

And folks wonder why the 99% are pissed at the fact that the 1% make 1000 times the salary of the average worker yet have no understanding, no working knowledge, no responsibility for anything other than being able to breathe.    This is the very reason that "redistribution of the wealth" becomes so appealing.

Just like the justice system, either you are guilty or not guilty.    No Contest is a copout.   Pleading the 5th is a copout.    In both cases, you are mearly saying you agree that the prosecution has enough to hang you with, but you won't take responsibility for your actions or inactions.

I think a few years (hell, decades) in one of those outdoor Arizona prisons in a pink ensemble and peanut butter and jelly as a lunch time meal might convey a few of lifes more pressing lessons on this Jon.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:05 | 1957895 LeZinc
LeZinc's picture

Stale bread and water would be a more approriate lunch. Don't you shop for groceries? Peanut butter and jelly prices make them look like luxury food stuff for a growing number of families.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:15 | 1957905 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Your expensive peanut butter buys their caviar.

Mission accomplished.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:21 | 1958548 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Don't forget bread. Regular priced bread in my area is approaching $5 a loaf.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:08 | 1958117 XitSam
XitSam's picture

It is not a prison, 'tent city' is one of the Maricopa County jails. And it is green baloney sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly are expensive.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:52 | 1957866 VelvetHog
VelvetHog's picture

Nobama has pledged a crack down on this sort of skullfuckery.  I'm feeling more confident already.  

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 08:59 | 1957882 dcb
dcb's picture

if the fed and treasury don't have to knw where the monmey is going, why should this guy have to know where it has gone or where it is. Jesus, you folks have such unrealistic expectation

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:01 | 1957885 youngman
youngman's picture

Someone needs to ask him if he thinks gold is money??????

I think he will just release his statement...then plead the FIF......being the corrupt Politician Business and Democrat that he is

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:11 | 1957904 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Ahhh Yes, the old pre-Sarb-Ox defense ... I know nothing. The obvious solution is to send in the FBI in or some other yet-to-be-determined-actually-uncorrupted law organization.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:12 | 1957910 koaj
koaj's picture

i wouldnt be sad to read "Brooks was here" from the top of his jail cell in a few months

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:18 | 1957928 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! [/Captain Renault]

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:29 | 1957942 jelyfish
jelyfish's picture

My theory...

The collusion was revisionary.  Because of TBTF it is impossible for some banks to keep enough reserve requirement (basically,  means no one does). Instead they float insurance with another bank to cover their reserve requirement in case it will ever be needed. 

Ala it creates an atmosphere of essentially 100% leverage.  MF went bust and because they were a primary dealer the fed got a look at their books and panicked. Realized no reserve and they decided to collude funds 7:00 pm ish on Halloween.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:25 | 1957947 vegas
vegas's picture

Universal Defense Mechanism = "I dunno"

Good luck with that shitbag.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:31 | 1957958 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Do you think he paid a lawyer for that "advice?"

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:28 | 1957956 youngman
youngman's picture

Someone knows where the money is..and is sitting on it...just waiting to see if anyone else knows where it is.....if not..then it will come out of hiding and back into the world.....a nice plot for a robbery movie....instead of Bonnie and could be named Jamie and John

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:33 | 1957966 whydtinogo
Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:33 | 1957970 Silversinner
Silversinner's picture

If that fckng creep of a Corzine would have stollen my money

I would have blown his fckng brains out.Just call it old

school justice.All a bunch of cry baby's.

HuuuHuuuuuu,Jonhy stole my money mommie.

Mommie is not home boys,mommmie is sleeping

with Jonhy

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:34 | 1957973 HEHEHE
HEHEHE's picture

Great the Sargent Schultz defense, "I saw noooooooothing".  Good move Jonny - MF'g  d**chebag.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:44 | 1958003 Orange Pekoe
Orange Pekoe's picture

He knew it was wrong and did it anyway.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:44 | 1958005 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

don't apply for corzine's food taster job, just a little advice.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:47 | 1958015 flacorps
flacorps's picture

nothing important in corzine's brain. Let's go jackson pollock!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:51 | 1958029 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the leaders in the Demorat party are all corrupt name one that is not.,.as for the GOP they get peanuts like 1.5 mil from Fanny mae ala Neut.

the only problem the USA has is all the leadership of both parties are corrupt thru and thru..who knew?? Laugh or cry that's how it is..

vote Ron Paul. and cross your fingers.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:59 | 1958037 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Uncle Billy left the money at the Bank of Dimon.

Jon was just trying to do God's work, just like George Bailey.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:52 | 1958038 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Yeah, I misplaced a $Billion the other day myself.  The dog pooped it out the next day. It's really embarrassing shit.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:53 | 1958039 Lord Peter Pipsqueak
Lord Peter Pipsqueak's picture

So what the fuck was Sarbanes Oxley written into legislation for then?Precisely to prevent a repeat of Enron and Kennneth Lay's "I didn't know what was going on" as a defence.

And yet Corzine is still using it.Only in America.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:56 | 1958053 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Just heard on bloomberg para "Its been proven that MF Global was not a systemic risk to the economy, so what actually is the goal of this hearing?"

I like bloomberg. but WTF? a primary dealer for the fed goes BK,  billions of loses, funds co-mingled, and the firm was run by an ex-senator govenor with a former US president on the advisory board and we should just leave it up to some local DA and officer Barney?

I'd hate to be some farmer who is going to have some dust control inspection today. Or a worker with a presentation due. Or some kid whose mom is having a hard time getting food stamps, when there are millions of $ in SS checks in the mail right now that will  be cashed by a person who has been dead 10 years tommorow.

There is really nothing left of sanity in this world. When the IMF starts adding funds to the Euroe bailout I am going full galt.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 09:58 | 1958061 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Yeah, and Hillary Clinton had noooooo idea how her commodities trading account did so remarkably well

If your hand gets stuck in the jar

The best idea by far

To get out of your particular pinch

Is to summon up the gall

To claim that you simply cannot recall


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:05 | 1958094 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Bingo! An oldie but goodie. Criminality been around for a long time.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:00 | 1958063 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

I'll bet if we freeze his assets, he'll chirp like a bird. ;>)

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:00 | 1958073 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

I'll bet he knows where those are.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:00 | 1958070 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

I don't know nuthin. I was just CEO there.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:01 | 1958075 sharkbait
sharkbait's picture

Using the Ken Lay defense.  Wonder if he will use the Ken Lay escape plan?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:02 | 1958081 monopoly
monopoly's picture

So, he knows nothing about running the business, but they hire him for his political stand and his knowledge of the best houses of prostitution.

If he does not go to jail, then I will agree we have 0 democracy, 0 chance of surviving this Tsunami.

I am sure there are plenty of cell mates that would enjoy having him as a "partner" in a maximum security prison. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:28 | 1958586 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Don't be silly. He's not going to Attica. If he is convicted, he would go to that federal penitentiary in the Hamptons, the one with tennis courts.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:02 | 1958082 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

The dog ate my homework . "I did not have access to the information"


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:03 | 1958085 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Corzine made sure some of the money moved to private overseas accounts before bad-bets were settled. Another fine crook from the Goldman Sachs school of book-cooking and fraud mastery.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:06 | 1958090 rufusbird
rufusbird's picture

After completing my accounting studies I took a job with an Accounting Temp agency to learn useful sets of accounting skills. One of my first assignments was to reconcile bank statements for an otherwise well run company. The statements would not reconcile because of a series of $5,000 checks. When pointed this out I was told to ignore them and make adjustments.

Upon starting another job at an Electronics firm. The first assignment handed off to me in Accounts Payable, was to reconcile the Executives credit card statements to their expense reports and receipts. I was instructed how to code the various extravagant personal expenses by my supervisor. When it came time to sign the checks, the officer who signed the checks was among the worst offenders. He never questioned any of those accounts.

I did have to leave one company when I pointed out they were breaking a tax law, They were totally pissed when I clarified the situation with the Chief Accounting Officer. I was told to keep my mouth shut and follow the "Chain of Command" by my supervisor. It followed me into my next job interview and I was not hired.

So it goes up to the highest levels.

Seems it is always the person at the bottom of the ladder who does the accounting that is conveniently overlooked by the busy overhead. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:19 | 1958183 XitSam
XitSam's picture

If Corzine doesn't know anything, then let's get the employees that actually pushed the transfer buttons in front of Congress.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:31 | 1958238 rufusbird
rufusbird's picture

You hit the nail on the head. How often is "Discovery" practiced anymore? Rarely... esp in high level cases.

Look how quickly Madoff was sequestered.


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:21 | 1958544 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Discovery is practiced more the higher the amount of money on the line...  if you're arguing over a $500 refrigerator, then there probably won't be any discovery...  if you're arguing over $1b in funds, then THERE WILL BE LOTS OF DISCOVERY.  Videotaped depositions...  all over the world...  this is what the lawyers get paid to do...

There are enough people that lost enough money on this one that they'll be turning over every rock.  It might be throwing good money after bad, but if you have a personal vendetta, your bloodhounds can probably find some ancillary issues that are juicy enough to have value.

The entire goal is to uncover enough valuable information to pay for the expenses of discovery...  if you can't do that, then you probably don't take the gig.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:35 | 1958256 centerline
centerline's picture

Those are definitions of a patsy.  The grunts are set up to take the blame for accounting fraud.  The execs will simply claim that they hire folks like you to keep them organized and proper - and that they know nothing of the "intricate" workings of tax code, reporting requriements, etc.  Plausible deniability.  Fif.

So, if you rock boat, you get fired - and if you burn enough bridges / crash your resume, you might have a hard time in your career.  Or, you could stay and wait for your day before the grand jury.  Of course, the answer is easy here.  But, it is unfair and makes for a hard road to walk.  Complete bullshit.

Corporate America is run by "business folks."  This is what has been created.  The effect.  And when business people can find ways to compromise engineers, doctors, accontants, etc. - well, bad things eventually happen.  Challenger explosion anyone?  Same shit, different field.  Now, just multiply this by corruption and power, add-in the crony network including captured politicians, etc. and we have recipe for complete clusterfuck.  Of course, the kicker is that public is set-up for the blame.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:06 | 1958101 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Hey, relax guys, he's deeply concerned.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:07 | 1958106 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Piece of shit acts like he is the king of the world until he fucks everything up and acts like a buck private who doesn't know WTF!!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:15 | 1958160 New American Re...
New American Revolution's picture

Burn Him!!!    He's a Witch!!!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:18 | 1958175 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

All these CEOs that never seem to know nothing when the shit hits the fan.

Hmmm funny that (why the fuck are they being paid vast amounts if they don't know anything, useless incompetent pricks).

What a load of bollocks.





Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:19 | 1958186 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

"I was stunned when.."



Textbook bankerspeak. Straight from the womb.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:21 | 1958188 centerline
centerline's picture

Every once in awhile we see American's who are on-the-edge doing something completely suicidal over actions of our government they feel are immoral, wrong,... whatever.  I continue to be absolutely amazed that no one has taken a shot at a banker yet.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:21 | 1958190 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Corzine is a narcissistic kleptocrat who thought rules didn't apply to him.

Endless bailouts have provided positive feedback loop for his delusions.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:24 | 1958208 centerline
centerline's picture

Moral hazard for sure.  Trickle down fraud.  Just like a business, management sets the tone.  If the tone is corruption, it is just a matter of time before the population emmulates that behavior.  And, as we all know, it is the moment that J6P gets into the game that the game is over.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:22 | 1958199 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

Corzine "Simply Does Not Know Where The Money Is" - Presenting Jon Corzine's Complete Testimony To Congress


Thu, 12/08/2011 - 10:28 | 1958230 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

we are sheep, we do not fight back..can everyone here agree on this?

they put something in the water to make us this way or on tv or the internet or in the air..

otherwise blood would have run in the streets long ago.


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