Corzine "Simply Does Not Know Where The Money Is" - Presenting Jon Corzine's Complete Testimony To Congress

Tyler Durden's picture

Probably far more anticipated than the monetary announcements out of BOE (which just announced it is keeping rates at a record low of 0.5%, but no more QE), or even the ECB, and certainly far more than the latest and not greatest European summit which begins today, is the 9am testimony out of the House Agriculture Committee by one "Honorable" Jon S. Corzine, as well as the Q&A that will follow. Naturally the Q&A will be the focus, but as for the prepared remarks, they have just been released and are presented below. The choice selection: "Obviously on the forefront of everyone’s mind – including mine – are the varying reports that customer accounts have not been reconciled. I was stunned when I was told on Sunday, October 30, 2011, that MF Global could not account for many hundreds of millions of dollars of client money. I remain deeply concerned about the impact that the unreconciled and frozen funds have had on MF Global’s customers and others. As the chief executive officer of MF Global, I ultimately had overall responsibility for the firm. I did not, however, generally involve myself in the mechanics of  the clearing and settlement of trades, or in the movement of cash and collateral. Nor was I an expert on the complicated rules and regulations governing the various different operating businesses that comprised MF Global. I had little expertise or experience in those operational aspects of the business. Again, I want to emphasize that, since my resignation from MF Global on November 3, 2011, I have not had access to the information that I would need to understand what happened. It is extremely difficult for me to reconstruct the events that occurred during the chaotic days and the last hours leading up to the bankruptcy filing....I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date. I do not know which accounts are unreconciled or whether the unreconciled accounts were or were not subject to the segregation rules. Moreover, there were an extraordinary number of transactions during MF Global’s last few days, and I do not know, for example, whether there were operational errors at MF Global or elsewhere, or whether banks  and counterparties have held onto funds that should rightfully have been returned to MF Global." Translation - he pleads da FIF.


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qussl3's picture

Then what the fuck were they employing him for.

FUcking know nothing CEO?


Oh regional Indian's picture

Nah, they hired him precisely because he could lie with a straight face. Lying with a straight face is a pre-requisite for Suck-cess in the current world. 

Justice, authentic justice, will visit everyone in the end, but some of these smug assholes, be nice to see them get it NOW.



Zero Govt's picture

Corzine fucked up New Jersey, then fucked up MF Global

..there's a pattern emerging here, but Corzine knows "nothing" about what he did

one wonders why Biden and Obumma had him on the end of a phone for economic advise? Did Corzine ever face-up and tell the Presidential Team he knows fuck all about anything going on! 

So another gambling junkie Goldman Sucks CEO of rape and ruin hits the wall ...i trust fucked over MF clients like Celente will be down at the hearing with rope to meat out some real justice as apposed the corrupt-to-the-core shitshow and protection racket the Govt runs 

jez's picture

He don't know nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin' 'bout nuttin.  


Moreover, he don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin 'bout knowin' nuttin 'bout nuttin'.


How come ah cain't never git me no job where I don't not never need to know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'?


It ain't right.



Dugald's picture

Do you think Grammar may play a part....

FEDbuster's picture

Sgt. "Shultz" Corzine, "I know nothing, I see nothing, I wasn't even there."

At least Berrnie knew where the money went.  Go after this asswipe's personal assets to satisfy the money missing from client's accounts.  Plus, clawback Clinton's $50K/month consulting fees. 

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

The ONLY way to ensure this NEVER happens again is to make sure the Federal Reserve explicitly approves every member of the financial services industry, and delegate the Federal Reserve the power to strip securities dealing licenses away from those they deem incompetent. This will cleanse the system, and ensure that fraud is a thing of the past.

Fake Jim Quinn's picture

Million Dollar Bonus is what is called "droll humor". He's an acquired taste

LowProfile's picture

Yep!  And the only reason he gets positve votes is so his comments don't roll off under the threshold (why I vote him up)!

TruthInSunshine's picture



CONgressSquidProxy:      Mr. Corzine, do you know where the missing funds are?


John Corzine:                 I believe you may or may not find it under the FIFnizz.


CONgressSquidProxy:      You're refusing to answer based on the 5th Amednment?


John Corzine:                 That depends on your definitions of "to".....FIIIIF.


LawsofPhysics's picture

Ignorance is strength!

Breaker's picture

"He don't know nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout nuttin'. He don't know nuttin' 'bout knowin' nuttin' 'bout nuttin."

With a compliant media, the Hillary Clinton defense works every time.

What is your name? "I don't recall"

What is your date of birth? "I don't know"

Why were the Rose Lawfirm records found in your office at the White House after being missing for years? "I do not presently recall."

Is that a chair you are sitting in? "I do not know."

Works every time.



dwdollar's picture

"protection racket"

So true... Government's main job now is to protect the corrupt elite who've been caught red-handed from any citizen who still believes in justice. However, Obama is just a puppet and so will be the Republican nominee. It's silly to think otherwise.

Fake Jim Quinn's picture

The real issue is MF's Board. They hired a guy who, when Governor, told his driver to do 90mph on the Garden State Parkway, at night. He then did not wear a seat-belt. Corzine thus ordered a crime to his driver, and broke the law by not wearing a seat-belt. So laws do not apply to Corzine quite clearly. Now tell me why arrogance, recklessness and criminality get rewarded with being the CEO of a firm that relies on risk management. This was foreseeable for miles

Questan1913's picture

Corzine was Goldmans conduit to the White House.

JohnF's picture

Well, considering his connections and credentials, Corazine is on the best path for becoming the Democratic candidate for President in 2016...

Jean's picture

I understand the ability to lie - but this is a dangerous lie.  All it is going to take is a couple of memo's the he was cc'd on or a few weasels saying he was briefed to blow holes in this story.  Remind me not to hire his lawyer.

pan-the-ist's picture

OHI, if we rational people waited around for your kind of justice nothing would ever get done.  You push a slave religion from a slave's point of view.  It doesn't matter which brand you put on it, it amounts to a slaves dream.  In the meantime, the winners don't give a fuck if you think they'll get theirs in the end.

obelisks's picture

" I simply do not know where the money is "


But isn't that the reason they have a Securities Industries licensing system ? A licence which this guy didn't have ?

Willzyx's picture

He has licenses.  Run a broker check at FINRA and see for your self.

obelisks's picture

but evidently not all of them ?

" Now, we learn that FINRA failed to require Jon Corzine to re-qualify for certain securities licenses that were required of the head of a securities broker-dealer "

YBNguy's picture

"money for nothing and chicks for free..."

I Got Worms's picture

Waterboard the bastard. Then ask him again.

FEDbuster's picture

Let Gerald Celente do it.  Financial Fucking Terrorist is what Corzine is.  While they are set up to waterboard do Bernake and Paulson, too.  Find out all the shit they pulled.

baby_BLYTHE's picture

and you know Celente would be willing to do it!

FEDbuster's picture

In a NY second, and he would be good at it.

NumberNone's picture

Actually that's the defense implied by CNBC.  Apparently Corzine is hinting that he knows nothing but does know a name of someone that might.  Cramer simply getting a boner on the possibility that Corzine is going to get away with it.  No outrage, no confusion on how it could happen that way...just simple giddiness that Corzine has a way to cover his ass and not do time.  God forbid one of the elite get held accountable for their crimes. 

Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Who else is in favor of water boarding this ASS PIRATE?

Irish66's picture

well if that doesn't cause everyone to get the hell out of the market now, you have no one to


jcaz's picture

"...Not an expert..."

Jon Corzine for Treasury Secretary!

EscapeKey's picture

Peter Schiff wants Bernie Madoff as TS. I'm inclined to agree.

MsCreant's picture

Remember, every time someone says "the fifth" today, you have to drink a shot from your fifth!

Thanks for getting it kicked off today, Tyler!

Abiotic Oil's picture

If that's the plan you're going to need more than 1 fifth.  I'm thinking 2 litre jug.

Cow's picture

One - Two - Three - Four - FIF!

StopTaseringMe's picture

Thanks Cow, your little Chappelle reference just covered my keyboard with java.

PaperBear's picture

Which is worse, criminal or incompetent or both ?

Zero Govt's picture

you mean Corzine didn't know he was betting big on Eurozone debt?

and when the bets went rotten he didn't know he was bailing them out with looted client funds??

he'll 'forget' his own name next

Problem Is's picture

Corzine = Rubin Jr.

"I got $130 billion from Citi for brilliant leadership and expertise..."

After $400 Billion Taxpayer Bailouts

"I really wasn't that involved..."

Batting order on Bastille Day... Hank Paulson, Rubin, Corzine, Dimon, Blankfein...

The Axe's picture

How can  a former ceo of Goldman plead being a idiot as a defense.

Widowmaker's picture

Because laws be damned, only to protect them from YOU!

Therefore, please wear this badge on your left arm all the time, you can't buy a loaf of bread without it.

Protocol is all Senators must kiss the ring before and after the hearing.

ucsbcanuck's picture

Where is ze money Corzine?

We cut off your johnson Corzine!

Ja, we cut off your johnson,,,

EscapeKey's picture

Sadly, in this case, the money literally has been flushed down the toilet. JPM are sitting on it.

Problem Is's picture

"Ve vant ze money, Corzine..."

"Ja and no funny stuff..."

FEDbuster's picture

"Where is the money, Corzine? Where's the fucking money, shithead?"

 "It's uh... uh.... it's down there somewhere. Let me take another look."

Problem Is's picture

+1 FEDbuster...

Obviously the person who junked me isn't a golfer...