The Cost Of The Best Senate Banking Committee JP Morgan Can Buy: $877,798 In Bribes

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In about an hour's time, Jamie Dimon will sit down before the Senate Banking Committee and prove, once again, not only who is smarter and calls the shots in the great Wall Street-D.C. soap opera, but that when it comes to purchasing a room full of senators (not to mention the script for today's "hearing"), JP Morgan is always at the top. Because as the following table compiled using OpenSecrets data, it cost JP Morgan just under $1 million, or $877,798.00 to be precise in lifetime campaign contributions, to buy itself precisely one Senate Banking Committee. And where it gets really fun is that between the Chairman, Tim Johnson (D - SD), and the ranking member Richard Shelby (R - AL), JP Morgan has been the top and second biggest campaign contributor, respectively. Also, 9 (at least) of the total 22 members of the committee have received some form of bribe from JPM over the years.

One wonders: will the shrillness and idiocy of the questions by the Senators be proportional to how much money JPM has given them over the years? If so, expect Schumer to have the most crony muppet line of questioning we have ever seen him take.

Now sit back, grab a popcorn, and watch as the bribees pretend to interrogate their paymaster.

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Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:52 | 2521012 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Of the People

By the People

For the People

Right!!!

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:59 | 2521052 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

CNBS will be sure to report on this conflict of interest, right?

/trolololololol!!!!!11!11!!

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:05 | 2521084 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

What conflict?  JPM funds lawmakers election, in return for favorable/look-the-other-way regulations.  It's pretty well aligned, as I see it...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:09 | 2521105 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

kangaroo court... & these 'kangaroos' have some phat assed pouches to stuff...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:20 | 2521163 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

A first-world country with a truly fair and representative governent would force senators with a conflict to recuse themselves. Here they get to head the investigation.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:36 | 2521265 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

This is just the opening gambit for the negotiations for the golden parachute...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 17:26 | 2523526 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Those Washington whores are the cheapest and sleaziest in the world.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2521286 Roger O. Thornhill
Roger O. Thornhill's picture

Any senator with an ounce of shame would recuse themselves.

What is more disturbing is how little they sell out for - they are, apparently, cheaper than crack whores.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:43 | 2521298 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Excellent

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:58 | 2521351 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

I just notice the category is "muppet".  Awesome.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 16:35 | 2523338 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

HEY TYLER - CHECK YOUR FACTS - WRONG SENATOR LISTED (AT LEAST ONE)

Merkley is Oregon's Senator. Wish I could rely on the figures, but if the names aren't accurate . . .

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:52 | 2521334 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Kabuki theater for the muppets.

( Do the Pols pick up their new checks before, or after the show? )

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:10 | 2521111 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

This is what a 'Republic' gets you.

and you can keep it.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:46 | 2521312 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

It's getting harder to tell the whores from the prostitutes.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:04 | 2521779 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Don't ya just love the way JPM spread the bribes, excuse me, "donations" to both parties equally??? Which begs the question.....why on earth is anyone paying attention to the "Repub vs. Dem" nonsense?? They are two sides of the same corrupt coin.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:00 | 2521057 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Depends how much money you've got.

 

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:08 | 2521098 Floordawg
Floordawg's picture

What is the criteria that designates a nation to be a Banana Republic again?

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:11 | 2521116 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Well, you have to be a Republic for a start, and it helps if you can grow some bananas...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:25 | 2521191 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Congress/Senate...they got r backs...right????
VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!!!!

Fuck all bankers and their bitch owned politicians.....
Death to them all.........

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:26 | 2521196 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Did you mean "Buy" the people?

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:52 | 2521018 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Chit-chat. Why even bother?

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:13 | 2521120 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

because there has to be something more important that Desperate Housewives...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:53 | 2521022 John Bigboote
John Bigboote's picture

This is precisely why we are doomed.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:06 | 2521087 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@John Bigboote

I don't value my existence based on politicians.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:17 | 2521141 John Bigboote
John Bigboote's picture

Good point. I should clarify: this is precisely why the system is failing. Let's hope for minimal collateral damage as it collapses. 

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 10:04 | 2521388 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

You might not value yourself in politics, but politics and politicians ha e valued you!

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:54 | 2521023 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Dimon can call on Chairman Tim Johnson (D - SD) and the ranking member Richard Shelby (R - AL) as character witnesses.

 

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:34 | 2521249 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Well M'Lud, Mr Demon couldn't reasonably be expected to keep an close eye on the CIO now could he if he can't see past the huge bundles of cash he has to carry each time he comes to my office...

I mean, this stuff's bulky, you know...

and he is only human...

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:54 | 2521025 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Why don't we take up a collection here amongst us and on other like forums to pay off the government to do its job via 'reelection campaign donations'. I'm sure we can all collect more than $900k for that. Small price to pay to get some representation and kick these bank vipers to the curb.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:58 | 2521049 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

> "Why don't we take up a collection ..."

 

Don't they already get enough of your labor d0llars via taxes, fees, licensing... etc? And you want to give these cocksuckers more?

How 'bout we get a collection of pitchforks, rope and lamp posts instead and pissed-off taxpayers instead? You know, things that are already just laying around the house?

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:02 | 2521065 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Exactly.  I thought we had been kicking it upstairs all along.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:32 | 2521240 j0nx
j0nx's picture

haha good luck with that RCD. My original comment was half /sarc though and half if that's all it takes to buy a government then we should really form a PAC and start donating.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:07 | 2521092 daveeemc2
daveeemc2's picture

Interesting concept - a lobby for all US citizens.

Sign up and have monthly payment arrangement that can be increase or decrease, but always a minimum, with a set per month maximum [daddy warbucks doesnt get unfair lobby, he already has plenty].

Then as bills come up or issues come up, you vote with dollars in account; if you can lobby on forums like this to get others to vote same way, maybe, just maybe we can start steering this country in the right direction.

Kind of like an internet 911.

This works until they use the internet kill switch against us.

I vote that donations by private citizens are tax deductable, with an associated lottery refund - also tax free - to encourage participation.

The system is paid for by managed "fees" that are fully disclosed, with a charter that mandates non-profit status.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:15 | 2521132 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

This is basically a comprehensive campaign finance reform, whichhas been atempted but it always shot down or watered down somehow by... well, by monyed interests and the pols who benefit from them

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 17:36 | 2523547 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Here's another interesting concept:  Freedom.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:54 | 2521028 EZYJET PILOT
EZYJET PILOT's picture

Fascist bastards!

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:01 | 2521062 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

EXACTLY.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:56 | 2521037 daveeemc2
daveeemc2's picture

We are incapable of governing ourselves; i dont have a spare $1,000,000 to influence political decisions.

The sooner this whole sham known as "wall street" implodes, the better.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:02 | 2521069 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

It is not just Wall Street. It is the whole political system.

Absent campaign finance reform (substantive not formative), the whole system is being "influenced" to the extent that it is a not democracy anymore but rather a legally corrupt system but known at a Kleptocracy.

Repeat to yourself, and to others: "it is NOT just Wall Street".....it is the whole system. Wall Street is just the most high profile.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:11 | 2521104 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@lizzy36

Is it any wonder that the two of the three highest paid are also the chair and co-chair?  Surely, there is no correlation between money received and positions awarded. /s

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:31 | 2521230 fuu
fuu's picture

Actually the chairman is only 6th on that list.

 

  1. Schumer $313,000
  2. Shelby $140,771
  3. Kirk $88,275
  4. Reed $66,500
  5. Corker $63,500
  6. JOHNSON $58,995
  7. Crapo $56,842
  8. Tester $45,200
  9. Toomey $45,075
Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:53 | 2521339 F. Bastiat
F. Bastiat's picture

As well, it's important to remember the $808,799 contributed to the Hawaiian Allende during the 2008 cycle.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 17:47 | 2523584 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

At least one name/state isn't correct so I wouldn't rely on the figures.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 18:47 | 2523747 fuu
fuu's picture

Jeff Merkley (D-OR) vs (D-VA)

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:10 | 2521108 docj
docj's picture

Sorry liz, but "campaign finance" is a red herring. You can "reform" campaign finance all you want. Sorry to repeat myself, but so long as these cretins have large piles of other peoples' cash to throw around then substantially smaller piles of cash will always find a way to them to try to influence where the larger piles go.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:40 | 2521287 Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

+ The conviction rate at the Federal level is at 99% ,Spanish Inquisition was only 97% (Stalin was a perfect 100%.)

 

and NYC judges decide 100% for the Banks.Just like the CFTC Judges.

 

 

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:08 | 2521096 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

A spare $1M will not influence political decisions, but it should be enough to cover two dinner plates with some of Barry Soetero's front people.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:58 | 2521352 dow2000
dow2000's picture

Maybe that's the beauty of this all.  The apathy of the people to stand for change will ultimately be that which unseats the the crony capitalist cabal.  The unending greed will consume the entire system until it's destroyed Then the people will want blood, by then it will be too late for the 'status quo'.  The people don't care because they realize the only way true change is going to come is by passage through some sort of societal event horizen.  What the other side has in store is anybody's guess, it can go either way, liberty or tyranny.  I suppose it depends on the character of each individual nations populace, all nations will be tested, and there will be blood.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:57 | 2521353 dow2000
dow2000's picture

Maybe that's the beauty of this all.  The apathy of the people to stand for change will ultimately be that which unseats the the crony capitalist cabal.  The unending greed will consume the entire system until it's destroyed Then the people will want blood, by then it will be too late for the 'status quo'.  The people don't care because they realize the only way true change is going to come is by passage through some sort of societal event horizen.  What the other side has in store is anybody's guess, it can go either way, liberty or tyranny.  I suppose it depends on the character of each individual nations populace, all nations will be tested, and there will be blood.

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 08:56 | 2521038 falak pema
falak pema's picture

this table as its presented should either get ZH into the law courts for public abuse of men in political office or the Pulitzer prize for good honest reporting! 

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