The Cost Of The Best Senate Banking Committee JP Morgan Can Buy: $877,798 In Bribes

Tyler Durden's picture

In about an hour's time, Jamie Dimon will sit down before the Senate Banking Committee and prove, once again, not only who is smarter and calls the shots in the great Wall Street-D.C. soap opera, but that when it comes to purchasing a room full of senators (not to mention the script for today's "hearing"), JP Morgan is always at the top. Because as the following table compiled using OpenSecrets data, it cost JP Morgan just under $1 million, or $877,798.00 to be precise in lifetime campaign contributions, to buy itself precisely one Senate Banking Committee. And where it gets really fun is that between the Chairman, Tim Johnson (D - SD), and the ranking member Richard Shelby (R - AL), JP Morgan has been the top and second biggest campaign contributor, respectively. Also, 9 (at least) of the total 22 members of the committee have received some form of bribe from JPM over the years.

One wonders: will the shrillness and idiocy of the questions by the Senators be proportional to how much money JPM has given them over the years? If so, expect Schumer to have the most crony muppet line of questioning we have ever seen him take.

Now sit back, grab a popcorn, and watch as the bribees pretend to interrogate their paymaster.

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Ima anal sphincter's picture

Of the People

By the People

For the People

Right!!!

ghengis86's picture

CNBS will be sure to report on this conflict of interest, right?

/trolololololol!!!!!11!11!!

mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

What conflict?  JPM funds lawmakers election, in return for favorable/look-the-other-way regulations.  It's pretty well aligned, as I see it...

francis_sawyer's picture

kangaroo court... & these 'kangaroos' have some phat assed pouches to stuff...

Arthor Bearing's picture

A first-world country with a truly fair and representative governent would force senators with a conflict to recuse themselves. Here they get to head the investigation.

Harlequin001's picture

This is just the opening gambit for the negotiations for the golden parachute...

mkkby's picture

Those Washington whores are the cheapest and sleaziest in the world.

Roger O. Thornhill's picture

Any senator with an ounce of shame would recuse themselves.

What is more disturbing is how little they sell out for - they are, apparently, cheaper than crack whores.

BKbroiler's picture

I just notice the category is "muppet".  Awesome.

prodigious_idea's picture

HEY TYLER - CHECK YOUR FACTS - WRONG SENATOR LISTED (AT LEAST ONE)

Merkley is Oregon's Senator. Wish I could rely on the figures, but if the names aren't accurate . . .

Offthebeach's picture

Kabuki theater for the muppets.

( Do the Pols pick up their new checks before, or after the show? )

Harlequin001's picture

This is what a 'Republic' gets you.

and you can keep it.

Offthebeach's picture

It's getting harder to tell the whores from the prostitutes.

Dingleberry's picture

Don't ya just love the way JPM spread the bribes, excuse me, "donations" to both parties equally??? Which begs the question.....why on earth is anyone paying attention to the "Repub vs. Dem" nonsense?? They are two sides of the same corrupt coin.

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Depends how much money you've got.

 

Floordawg's picture

What is the criteria that designates a nation to be a Banana Republic again?

Harlequin001's picture

Well, you have to be a Republic for a start, and it helps if you can grow some bananas...

Kaiser Sousa's picture

Congress/Senate...they got r backs...right????
VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!!!!

Fuck all bankers and their bitch owned politicians.....
Death to them all.........

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Chit-chat. Why even bother?

Harlequin001's picture

because there has to be something more important that Desperate Housewives...

John Bigboote's picture

This is precisely why we are doomed.

Cursive's picture

@John Bigboote

I don't value my existence based on politicians.

John Bigboote's picture

Good point. I should clarify: this is precisely why the system is failing. Let's hope for minimal collateral damage as it collapses. 

Offthebeach's picture

You might not value yourself in politics, but politics and politicians ha e valued you!

tom a taxpayer's picture

Dimon can call on Chairman Tim Johnson (D - SD) and the ranking member Richard Shelby (R - AL) as character witnesses.

 

Harlequin001's picture

Well M'Lud, Mr Demon couldn't reasonably be expected to keep an close eye on the CIO now could he if he can't see past the huge bundles of cash he has to carry each time he comes to my office...

I mean, this stuff's bulky, you know...

and he is only human...

j0nx's picture

Why don't we take up a collection here amongst us and on other like forums to pay off the government to do its job via 'reelection campaign donations'. I'm sure we can all collect more than $900k for that. Small price to pay to get some representation and kick these bank vipers to the curb.

Race Car Driver's picture

> "Why don't we take up a collection ..."

 

Don't they already get enough of your labor d0llars via taxes, fees, licensing... etc? And you want to give these cocksuckers more?

How 'bout we get a collection of pitchforks, rope and lamp posts instead and pissed-off taxpayers instead? You know, things that are already just laying around the house?

prodigious_idea's picture

Exactly.  I thought we had been kicking it upstairs all along.

j0nx's picture

haha good luck with that RCD. My original comment was half /sarc though and half if that's all it takes to buy a government then we should really form a PAC and start donating.

daveeemc2's picture

Interesting concept - a lobby for all US citizens.

Sign up and have monthly payment arrangement that can be increase or decrease, but always a minimum, with a set per month maximum [daddy warbucks doesnt get unfair lobby, he already has plenty].

Then as bills come up or issues come up, you vote with dollars in account; if you can lobby on forums like this to get others to vote same way, maybe, just maybe we can start steering this country in the right direction.

Kind of like an internet 911.

This works until they use the internet kill switch against us.

I vote that donations by private citizens are tax deductable, with an associated lottery refund - also tax free - to encourage participation.

The system is paid for by managed "fees" that are fully disclosed, with a charter that mandates non-profit status.

Arthor Bearing's picture

This is basically a comprehensive campaign finance reform, whichhas been atempted but it always shot down or watered down somehow by... well, by monyed interests and the pols who benefit from them

Hobbleknee's picture

Here's another interesting concept:  Freedom.

daveeemc2's picture

We are incapable of governing ourselves; i dont have a spare $1,000,000 to influence political decisions.

The sooner this whole sham known as "wall street" implodes, the better.

lizzy36's picture

It is not just Wall Street. It is the whole political system.

Absent campaign finance reform (substantive not formative), the whole system is being "influenced" to the extent that it is a not democracy anymore but rather a legally corrupt system but known at a Kleptocracy.

Repeat to yourself, and to others: "it is NOT just Wall Street".....it is the whole system. Wall Street is just the most high profile.

Cursive's picture

@lizzy36

Is it any wonder that the two of the three highest paid are also the chair and co-chair?  Surely, there is no correlation between money received and positions awarded. /s

fuu's picture

Actually the chairman is only 6th on that list.

 

  1. Schumer $313,000
  2. Shelby $140,771
  3. Kirk $88,275
  4. Reed $66,500
  5. Corker $63,500
  6. JOHNSON $58,995
  7. Crapo $56,842
  8. Tester $45,200
  9. Toomey $45,075
F. Bastiat's picture

As well, it's important to remember the $808,799 contributed to the Hawaiian Allende during the 2008 cycle.

prodigious_idea's picture

At least one name/state isn't correct so I wouldn't rely on the figures.

fuu's picture

Jeff Merkley (D-OR) vs (D-VA)

docj's picture

Sorry liz, but "campaign finance" is a red herring. You can "reform" campaign finance all you want. Sorry to repeat myself, but so long as these cretins have large piles of other peoples' cash to throw around then substantially smaller piles of cash will always find a way to them to try to influence where the larger piles go.

Lord Blankcheck's picture

+ The conviction rate at the Federal level is at 99% ,Spanish Inquisition was only 97% (Stalin was a perfect 100%.)

 

and NYC judges decide 100% for the Banks.Just like the CFTC Judges.

 

 

mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

A spare $1M will not influence political decisions, but it should be enough to cover two dinner plates with some of Barry Soetero's front people.

dow2000's picture

Maybe that's the beauty of this all.  The apathy of the people to stand for change will ultimately be that which unseats the the crony capitalist cabal.  The unending greed will consume the entire system until it's destroyed Then the people will want blood, by then it will be too late for the 'status quo'.  The people don't care because they realize the only way true change is going to come is by passage through some sort of societal event horizen.  What the other side has in store is anybody's guess, it can go either way, liberty or tyranny.  I suppose it depends on the character of each individual nations populace, all nations will be tested, and there will be blood.

dow2000's picture

Maybe that's the beauty of this all.  The apathy of the people to stand for change will ultimately be that which unseats the the crony capitalist cabal.  The unending greed will consume the entire system until it's destroyed Then the people will want blood, by then it will be too late for the 'status quo'.  The people don't care because they realize the only way true change is going to come is by passage through some sort of societal event horizen.  What the other side has in store is anybody's guess, it can go either way, liberty or tyranny.  I suppose it depends on the character of each individual nations populace, all nations will be tested, and there will be blood.

falak pema's picture

this table as its presented should either get ZH into the law courts for public abuse of men in political office or the Pulitzer prize for good honest reporting!