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A Cretan Writes A Heartfelt Letter To The Greek IRS

Tyler Durden's picture


The Greeks, who have long since become Guniea Pigs for Europe's real time experiment in restructuring itself without actually i) impairing any debt, ii) injecting new capital, or iii) having any idea what the endgame really is, are increasingly starting to just say no and revolt. Yes - the small Mediterranean country may have fallen off the front page news briefly, or until the current government is also ejected bringing us to a repeat of late May, early June, its citizens are getting ever bolder in refusing to comply with the relentless attempts of the European superstate to syphon off as much wealth as it possible can from the weakest and the poorest.

To wit, in the letter below, posted in Greek website, comes from a disgruntled taxpayer who was "assessed" some rather crusing taxes.  Showing his outrage at the manner in which- especially this year- the Greek IRS tax hikes are crushing weaker, lower income families, the Cretan ctiziens has sent the following letter to the Tax Office of Ierapetra.

Read on for the the full text of his letter:

To: Dept of the Treasury, Ierapetra Tax District

Taxpayer Aretouli C. Nicholas, a resident of the County of Ierapetra.

In the Income Tax Assessment Notice that you sent me you claim a “purported” income of 8863 euros, which I never saw and never wanted to earn.

1. For my residence with an assessed value by you of 13653.68 euros as of 10/08/2010, situated in the village of Panakiana Municipality of Ierapetra, without even working electricity, you assume & declare a presumptive taxable income of 4,080 euros, about 1/3 of the property's value, while one can easily locate homes in our area with only 150 euros a month rent (1.800/annually).

2. You presume a basic subsistence income of 3,000 euros. Unfortunately for you, because of my anti-consumerist and eco-friendly ideology and lifestyle I’ve been living since 1995, me and my partner (2 persons total) survived with only 2126.5 euros for an entire year, including the cost of gasoline for my car which is used principally for agricultural work. So you’re asking for taxes representing 1/4 of my annual level of basic subsistnce!

3. For my vehicle, '91 model with engine capacity 750cc and with €300 annual insurance & registration fees costs, and maintenance covered by myself personally (as a former engineer), you assume & declare a presumptive taxable income of 2,000 euro.

After all that I analyzed above, and hereby invoking the last article of the Constitution I declare the following:

a) Faced with the choice not to eat for three (3) months or to pay the tax you’re demanding I’ll choose not to pay a single penny.

b) Faced with the choice to commit suicide or become a murderer, I’ll choose to murder you.

c) If you have not made an error with this Income Tax Assessment Notice that you’ve sent me, then you’re a bunch of cheats and scoundrels and thieves.


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Tue, 07/17/2012 - 00:27 | 2623165 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

How come we never hear about Iceland in the mainstream 'news' ?

Icelandic Government Hire Ex-Cop To Hunt Bankers

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 17:53 | 2621931 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

They only want 25% of his income?  Sounds kind of low for Europe.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:06 | 2621975 pcrs
pcrs's picture

yeah in the Netherlands tax farm they demand 52%, just to show you who has a majority stake in you.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:26 | 2622038 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

WTF?  How can they put up with that shit?

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:55 | 2622123 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Same for Belgium. I pay 55% on my salary and if you add the product taxes of 21% you can imagine how much actually goes to the state.
and when you die, you kids get everything you have but also have to pay a 47% tax on it. in the end, it all goes to the state. unless you cheat your taxes.
I cheat a bit on my taxes, for about 3000 euro each year but most of my friend who do it also are now being audited so maybe next year I won't do it anymore.
Second thing are bonusses. they charge 65% on those and they make up about 30% of my year salary and now they want to increase taxes on that to not to mention that a bonus is paid out on increased sales and for 2013 I don't think that's gone be much....

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:02 | 2622291 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

"How can they put up with that shit"? Ask Anders Brevik.

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 01:18 | 2623252 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

My first lesson in tax law occurred when I was a child and my father showed me the tax forms he'd prepared.  In the mid-eighties, we lived in Coeur d'Alene, ID, and my dad worked at the Kaiser Aluminum plant in Spokane as a computer tech and earned 55K gross.  After compiling national and state income taxes, social security and medicare taxes, and the property taxes due on our tract home, it came to 51% for the various arms of the government; he kept 27K.

He successfully conveyed, and bestowed upon me, a degree of contempt for the concept of taxes, perhaps moreso than he consciously intended.  The multilayered machinations of taxes, and contempt toward them, was my first lesson.  Despite dad's grumbling, he diligently paid every dollar due every year, and now in retirement, he is the beneficiary of the social contract.  My second key lesson in taxes came with the realization that no matter how much I pay into the social security system now, the same degree of payback to me as my parents' generation receives clearly will be impossible; the ponzi will not last 30 more years, and I would be a fool to keep paying in now.

The other important lesson about taxes is only for the morally inclined, as paying in to a terrorist regime makes one complicit in its wars and crimes.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 17:56 | 2621940 KrugerrandFan
KrugerrandFan's picture

Residence assessed value - 13653.68 euros

Basic income - 2126.5 euros

Telling the tax man to KISS MY SWEATY HOOP! - Priceless!


For everything else ther's Bastard card.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 17:59 | 2621945 zerozam
zerozam's picture

I start to wonder what brand of car he drives? Cheap, high fuel efficency, 750cc AND can use it for agricultural work? Also living expences of 1050 euro/year per person. Thats what I spend on bills, food, gas a month - alone! The equation just don't sum up to me... so whe I analyze the above I declare the following:

A) Greeks are a big, fat bunch if liars. They not even close to be willing to pay for their standard of living leaving "someone else" to pay the bill and will grasp every possible chance to avoid doing so - including writing IRS som cry-letter how sad and sorry they are when forced to.

B) Conclusion - never, ever lend a greek your money. Go to turkey on holiday instead.




Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:03 | 2621964 pcrs
pcrs's picture

I think he does a lot of barter as a farmer grows his own food. Probably only needs money for fuel.

These systems where you can barter with a group of people, keeping tabs, are very popular in Greece. It's the only way to survive and not get fleeced. They have 3000 years of government, so they know the ropes.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:14 | 2622000 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"They have 3000 years of government, so they know the ropes."

To think we have only had an income tax for less than 100 years, we are such newbies.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:42 | 2622416 msjimmied
msjimmied's picture

True in almost all agricultural communities. I spent some time on my grandpa's farm in India during school breaks, and there was a constant toing and froing of baskets of produce and what have you. I don't think we would have needed much more than clothes and shoes from the bazaar. Everybody sent out the best of what they had, it was a matter of pride, as well as gratitude for what others provided. Someone sends over a message that their cow did not let down that day, and there would be milk from the other farms around him. Someone's tractor breaks down, and others will pitch in. No one abused anyone else's generosity, and no one ever refused to help. Call it a welfare socialist state if you must, but it was GOOD. It was the honor system at it's finest. Years later, my son would ride his tricycle anywhere he wanted, and end up on someone else's farm, I did not worry. They would bring him back by lunch time, sleepy and tired with a full stomach. Life can be wonderful.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:21 | 2622022 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

Yeah zerozam.. He's living large.. you moron..

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:24 | 2622348 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

What percentage of the population of the world do you think get free healthcare and live like him?

People really have no f%cking clue who the 1% are. Now go cry about your fist world problems and threats of murdering people who don't give you enough free stuff!

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:24 | 2622349 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

seems to me that you find it impossible to even conceive of a life without i-pods and other forms of useless consumerism.

how sad.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 17:58 | 2621946 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

D.) study the law and know the fraud that is the IRS.


Supreme Law firm

31 Questions and Answers about the Internal Revenue Service

The Federal Zone:Cracking the Code of Internal Revenue

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:03 | 2622295 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

My jack-booted thug in a uniform trumps your legal rights.

Now give me all your chips. They will be put to a good use, I promise, on my honor.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:01 | 2621955 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"Treasury Department officials have been cited for soliciting prostitutes, breaking conflict-of-interest rules and accepting gifts from corporate executives, according to the findings of official government investigations. The revelations of unethical behavior at Treasury are detailed in little-noticed documents posted this month on, which publishes agency responses to Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests."

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:05 | 2621960 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Growing up, I was always told that two things in life are unavoidable; those are paying taxes and dying. It seams the stories were somewhat exaggerated though. Yes, you have to die, but no, you do not have to pay taxes when they become oppressive and/or destructive. The government may seek to hunt you down if you do not pay, but what else would you expect from a fascist state, anyway? Your prosperity is meaningless compared to the need/want of the state they will tell you. They will also tell you that it's for your own benefit that you give up your wealth to perpetuate the state, "aren't you patriotic?" Don't you understand that your labor is not your own? What's the definition of a slave? Yeah, exactly.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:20 | 2622003 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

It's just one tax payer fer cryn' out loud.....The rest are apathetic and will allow us to crush them into pulp while letting us extract every last red cent they have! This is the socialist way, what's good for the collective is what matters, not the righless taxpaying slaves. Now get your ass out there and make us some more money, bitchez!!!!!

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:24 | 2622013 The Reich
The Reich's picture

Pay your f**king taxes first, before you write such letters!

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:21 | 2622020 The Reich
The Reich's picture

All Cretans are liars!

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:53 | 2622269 Master Pimp
Master Pimp's picture









Mon, 07/16/2012 - 22:52 | 2622911 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

I see you're flying some German colors there.  I understand your dislike of Cretans...they stoped the Germans cold in their tracks in WW2.  Most of us still have a print of the painting of the Cretan Villager beating a German Paratrooper to death with a staff as he touched our soil.  It's nice to see some of that spirit returning.

There's an interesting saying on the island: "I fear nothing, I hope for nothing, I am free"

Be very afraid.

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 09:50 | 2623937 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Or you could have told him to say hi to Trebes in hell...

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:25 | 2622031 GlomarHabu
GlomarHabu's picture

In an earlier post a commenter stated, "Check your facts" ... I thought it laughable. Who checks the fact checkers?  I spent over a decade in the CIA and can tell you that everything is a crystal palace, a hall of mirrors, both inside and outside the USA.

The average citizen hasn't a clue as to what goes on as demonstrated by the recent LIBOR epiphanies ( the root of which is Greek) with regard to "facts" .... we're just a crowd of bozos on the bus typing away in the ether..... for naught.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:38 | 2622066 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

"LIBOR ?   is that a new band ?"

^  the kind of response I expect to get when I bring the subject up.

Unfortunately, what you wrote is too often very true.  <sigh>

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:09 | 2622160 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Yeah man... They had a SMASH HIT in the eighties called "Everybody's Workin For the Greekend". 


Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:20 | 2622189 GlomarHabu
GlomarHabu's picture

Friend..... it is always true. An eternal verity.

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 03:33 | 2623358 Zwelgje
Zwelgje's picture

Maybe on this planet.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:09 | 2622308 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

You're right, GlomarHabu;  in just a few short billions of years, the Sun will expand, Earth will be sucked into it's gravity, and, well, none of this is gonna matter.


Disclaimer: (I actually don't expect 'humanity' to survive for several billions of years.  Mankind will go extinct, and the bugs will be the next rulers of Planet Earth).


I would give it LESS than 200 years.  IF we're Lucky.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:20 | 2622331 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

No matter how paranoid or conspiracy-minded you are, what the government is actually doing is worse than you imagine.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:36 | 2622069 Imminent Collapse
Imminent Collapse's picture

Step one: financial collapse. Step Two: chaos. Step Three: martial law to control the chaos. Step Four: suspension of basic freedoms -only until threats to the welfare of the people are resolved. Step Four: total authoritarianism.

Don't think that any of this isn't part of the plan. These people aren't stupid.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:17 | 2622181 GlomarHabu
GlomarHabu's picture


I agree. We are very close to a totally chaotic world, the perscription already written by unseen hands, carried out by their useful idiots and thugs.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:06 | 2622302 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Those people aren't stupid. But the leaders are a mix if syncophants, sociopaths and a few good psychopaths. That means they really don't have any kind of grasp of human emotions.

So when faced with the resulting angry mobs, they will be out of their depth. Unless their syncophantic psychologist stooges have enough real world knowledge to back up the book learning they've been plying during their psyops careers.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 18:54 | 2622120 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

The Gestapo, I mean IRS, is any governments pitbull against it's citizens.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:03 | 2622146 khakuda
khakuda's picture

My grandparents were from Crete. What can I say, we get pissy.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:17 | 2622322 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

The Marines and the local Police Departments are always looking for a few good 'cretins'.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:08 | 2622159 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Good for him, 'cuz taxation is theft.  Government spelling of theft: "Tax"...

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:39 | 2622231 wkwillis
wkwillis's picture

Greek IRS responds:

Well, since you aren't going to pay your taxes, we are going to stop your mom's social security check and give her a bus ticket to your house. You think someone else is going to pay for her?

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:42 | 2622239 aerial view
aerial view's picture

He gets my vote for Time magazine's "Man of the Year"!

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:46 | 2622250 Onohymagin
Onohymagin's picture

Reminds me of a fellow farmer I met who had been incarcerated for defying authority in Australia. His crime was to build a dwelling without approval. When the local building 'police' found out about his house they told him a bulldozer was on its way to demolish the building. OK he said, but you better send a backhoe as well. Why?, they asked. 'Cause you'll need it to dig a grave for the driver when you roll onto my land', was the reply.

He got a two week holiday from farming in the local slammer. The house was never touched.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 19:54 | 2622251 Master Pimp
Master Pimp's picture




Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:01 | 2622292 lolmaster
lolmaster's picture

Just take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:49 | 2622441 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

Ripley's rules rock, the only safe way to keep the creeps in their place.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:26 | 2622356 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Right now this is Greece, so it's academic here in the US.  Higher US taxes are right around the corner.  Don't write a letter like this guy wrote.  For one thing, I believe that Greek tax collectors are not going to cooperate with Eurocrats.  In the US they will.  With gusto.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:41 | 2622411 Marty Rothbard
Marty Rothbard's picture

Presumptive income?  Does this mean that Greek "income tax" is accessed on what the tax collectors say you should be able to rent your home for, and what you could rent your car for?  If so, you pay income tax, even while you are unemployed?

  I understand, that in the closing days of the Roman empire, farmers were taxed on what their farm should produce, because many of them had started raising only enough food to feed their families.  As a result, they left the empire completely.  Maybe, this form of taxation, means the Greek government is about to dissolve.  For the sake of the Greek people, I hope it happens soon.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 20:47 | 2622426 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture


Faced with the choice to commit suicide or become a murderer, I’ll choose to murder you.


arrest that man.

he is a terrorist.

soon  he will be abolished,annihalated,vaporized only to become a nonperson.


The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth.




Mon, 07/16/2012 - 21:17 | 2622552 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

Tending toward the not too distant future

The peons needs a plan

The peons need to agree to on a philosophy of crowdsourced resistance.

As the tax man approaces, send out a call, and a crowd responds.

Intimidation is fair play in unlove and war.

If they up the ante with gun thugs, well cool.

After a certain point, I don't want to live, in their shit, either

And they can come with me.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 22:29 | 2622829 ghenny
ghenny's picture

The big problem facing Greece and the other PIIGS is not the little guy refusing to pay taxes.  In my view these little guys are absolutely right.  The big problem are the big guys not paying taxing, avoiding taxes, bribing officials to get away with tax cheating.  By big guys I include all the Doctors and Lawyers and other big time professionals along with the big business kleptocrats.  Until these people are forced to pay up there is no hope.  That is only the first step.  Then you have to nail the politicians, civil servants and unions because they take whatever money is extracted and waste it on themselves and absurd public works that help no one.  The Germans are going to have to train and send in an army of accountants, mittelstand business builders, vocational training experts, entrepreneurs, and tax experts - a kind of civilian Wehrmacht - to make sure all this happens.  "Plus Ca Change Plus C'Est La Meme Chose."  For all you non French speakers that means "The more things change the more they stay the same".  On second thought it aint going to happen.  Instead of GREXIT or PIIGSit the Germans, Dutch, Finns, French and A few others need to start all over with their own Eurozone and let the PIIGS fly.

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 21:24 | 2622597 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Warning: Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.


- Lazarus Long

Mon, 07/16/2012 - 23:32 | 2623044 zerohedgeJUNKIE
zerohedgeJUNKIE's picture

Boo Yah !

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 02:21 | 2623300 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Imaginary letter from a Greek tycoon and tax evader to the Greek IRS:

"You assume since I have a €1,500,000 home on Rhodes that my income is X million Euro and that I need to pay X Euro in tax. You assume that since I have a Maserati that my income is X Euro and I need to pay X euro in tax. In fact, my income is 0 euro since I am a shipping tycoon".

Of course that tax audit to the tycoons never comes. It is so much easier -and safer for IRS people- to tax the little guy than to tax the tax evading tycoons.

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 03:28 | 2623356 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Would be interested to hear Max Fischer and Let Them Eat Rand's perspective on this?  Afterall, they 'group-masterbate' over the the state....

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 04:28 | 2623387 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

I am from Crete this guy is living in a agricultural village, what he says seems plausible to me... what amazes me is how this article is here.....

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 04:37 | 2623389 Fort
Fort's picture

See this is what I mean, unless they invoke the army, once people say I take my cash from the bank and request to receive it in an envelope, see what happens with the shaky foundation of power. That is banks and governments and even big Corp's included. I would love to see a collector come to my door to collect taxes, bills etc. You want money? What money, what for, I have no money. You want my house, it is underwater on the mortgage be my guest. You want my TV, sure please stand still and I'll swing it down it is on the second floor, but I'll shout catch before I release no worries.

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 06:43 | 2623439 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

Its a bitch not having your own pirinting press, at times like this.

There will never be enough tax revenue anywhere to feed the ponzi from now on.

Thats why the Romans had to start demanding taxes "in kind".

We are further down the road than I thought folks...

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 08:59 | 2623777 deepikasnv
deepikasnv's picture

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Tue, 07/17/2012 - 15:18 | 2625341 wallStreetFPGAGuru
wallStreetFPGAGuru's picture

Go to youtube and google "kontaros ekam" and picture this guy listening to that music while writing that letter...

Crete is the only place in Greece where locals own handguns and the greek feds have been unable to disarm them.  Google it...

On another note, Cretans were the only people to actually fight back against Hitler.  Imagine we all did?

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