Dan Loeb Checks Into The Apple Five Star Hedge Fund Hotel

Tyler Durden's picture

There is one name one won't find on Third Point latest 13F. Curiously, it is the same name that is now Third Point's fifth largest position as of February 29, 2012. As we said: every hedge fund is now in it. More importantly, we wonder, when will Apple, which is effectively an Alphaclone of itself, start charging its shareholders 2 and 20 for the privilege of owning its stock?

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CrazyCooter's picture

At these prices, Apple should sell billions in new shares ... even better, they should not be "dollar" shares, but "gold" shares! You know, trade your gold to us, we give you a stock slip!

It would be fun to watch the apple fan boi investors burn down local coin shops for their chance at "apple gold".


This market is such a joke. Every time I think it can't go higher, it just goes higher. I mean fucking oil is 100+. The freaking state of Alaska is forecasting oil to be 100+ from here on out (that is ANS prices by the way, not WTI or Brent - although those are also forecast on page 10 - there is also some good REE stuff in there too).




EDIT: changed the world "gold" to "oil" to fix a rather obvious typo

LongSoupLine's picture

yep, the FRBNY advised Dan to diverse into agriculture.  iPad food products are the biggest according to Dudley, which made Dan's decision an easy one.

EmileLargo's picture

When this pops, the US will go into a depression.

resurger's picture

The central bankers and Israel will take turns in poping AAPLs cherry!

 Vonmises! RIP


LongSoupLine's picture

When this pops, the US will go into a depression.


When this pops, the US depression that's occuring will be exposed.


Fixed it.

JPM Hater001's picture


The app is a killer.

urbanelf's picture

If you took all the Apple shares in the world and piled them in one place, it would form a cube 25' x 25' x 25'.  That cube would be so large that it would make Warren Buffett feel sad.

Doomer's picture



Waterfallsparkles's picture

Once the supposed pipeline of products is exhausted they will have to do a Seance to bring Jobs back to life to keep this stock up.

Moneyswirth's picture


adr's picture

Maybe the goal is to ge Apple to take out all the competition so world governments can fine Apple for trust violations and solve the global debt problem.

svc101's picture

If Deutscheland does not have enough loot to bail out the EU what makes you think Apple does?

mendigo's picture

Sprott needs to create a trust that invests substantially in Apple I think - PAPL

bania's picture

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Scalaris's picture

Fuck Yahoo


haskelslocal's picture

Isn't Yahoo all about its patents?

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

no, the real question is when are people (pensions) going to stop paying hedge funds what they can easily do themselves

Howdan's picture

+100 ($ of oil that is ;-)

I'm with you on that one cooter. Everytime you think, ok the market can't go any higher, it just does! Madness