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A Day In The Life Of A Swiss National Bank Trader

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It's blood in the streets out there: nobody wants Euros because nobody knows if Greece will be in the EMU on Monday... Or Spain for that matter, which is now fresh out of towels. You just happen to have the position of an FX trader at the SNB and everyone wants your money. What do you do? What do you do?

Simple: the world is hitting your EUR bid harder and harder...

Don't panic. Just turn around, and use all those EURs you just got stuffed with to buy Japanese Yen.

Rinse. Repeat.

Until the BOJ decides to return the favor of course.

Did we mention it is a central bank market out there?

h/t Alex

 

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Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:49 | 2479753 Roland99
Roland99's picture

I'd rather use them at Chuck E Cheese.

I could end up with enough tickets to buy a stuffed squid!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:02 | 2479828 tonyw
tonyw's picture

"What do you do?"

print more CHF and use the EUR to buy gold.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:37 | 2479953 strannick
strannick's picture

Simple. buy effing gold (the non certificate, non allocated or unallocated, non GLD, non Comex futures, non stored at the Fed type of gold).

Once the piranahs run out of guppies then theyll start grabbing the physical, and 'encumbered' will come to have the same heinous connotation as 'rehypothecated'

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:13 | 2480579 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Non gold?

That is going to be tough.

They gonna start selling a gram at 300 to pay off all the leveraged crap obligations.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:29 | 2480328 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

Peg this, bitches; stupid MFers. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:50 | 2479755 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LOL...'Don't panic! Just buy more!'

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:19 | 2479922 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Isn't that th etruth.

Moar, moar, moar....

So given all these movements, how did the Swiss Franc Peg do for the Swiss peoples? Anyone? Good move? Bad move? In retrospect that is?

Again, all this is pointing to a Manic Monday, Baleful Tuesday and definitely a Stunning Wednesday (June 6th).

Everything about this time is heightened, literally, figuratively and otherwise.

Perhaps the Tower of Baab-el Europa is really ready to crumble?

ori

towers-of-baabel-and-levers-of-control

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 16:34 | 2481082 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

lol, baab-el-europe, capital: babylondon, though on Manic and Baleful it will be closed...

the truth is that the Swiss industries were lobbying for an even weaker CHF not that long ago

and I still don't see how they can break the floor, yet. it's a question of will, not firepower

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:51 | 2479756 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Forget swiss bankers. How 'bout that Snorgtee girl in the shades?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:53 | 2479778 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nice camel toe.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:02 | 2479825 Idiot Savant
Idiot Savant's picture

Bad posture, football player neck, highway patrol shades, tighty whities, grandpa socks. Meh, indeed - I miss the cute ones.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:04 | 2479838 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

Lol!

You got your post in a minute before mine. See below

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:03 | 2479834 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

Gross.

Her neck is bigger than mine, and I played football for 8 years which developed my sternocleidomastoid's. Second, her jawline is so pronounced that she is Steven Tyler'esque. Third, she has a B cup bust size. Fourth, sunglasses are not sexy so they are probably hiding her amblyopia. Fifth, wheres her hips? WTF am I supposed to grab on to?

One should come to zerohedge for a dose of reality, if you want girls go to a site that actually has hot girls.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:16 | 2480596 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

The lack of handles to hold on to must be a clue of early puberty.

Wait a while or pin her to the wall.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:50 | 2479758 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

And they all hold gold as a reserve.  Lots of it, too.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:52 | 2479769 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

PS

And they are all buying gold to use as a reserve on their balance sheets.  Lots of it, too.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:50 | 2479759 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's one big happy circle jerk.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:50 | 2479760 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Nice catch, race to the bottom bitchez.  The world can carry one Japan, unfortunately the world can not become Japan without destroying all paper.  Got physical assets of real value?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:52 | 2479774 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHA

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:18 | 2480606 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

If a house contained silver and gold, would said house say anything?

Scan it and see.

If your detector beeps on a long object 4 feet long from floor to midway up wall... leave very quietly... that is pap 12 gauge waiting.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:51 | 2479763 evolutionx
evolutionx's picture

spanish bank bankrupt according to CDS explosion

www.cds-info.com

 

also cds for UBS CS climbing

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:51 | 2479766 Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture

Tyler,

Thanks for keeping us informed..!!!!!

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:54 | 2479768 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Did we mention it is a central bank market out there?"

If after 10 minutes at the poker table you haven't figured out who the fool is..........maybe the fool is you. The heavyweights are the only ones left in the game. Time to exit stage right folks and wait for the nuclear fallout to clear.

Strange game. The only way to win is to not play.

Run

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:58 | 2479795 knukles
knukles's picture

Long treasuries, munis, gold and cash  :)
The financial fallout shelter.
In liquidation events almost all correlations go to 1.

 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:12 | 2480240 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, k-nuk!

i enjoyed yer personal story abt how you fell into a bucket of shitty bonds and came out smelling like a rose

everything still "screwed down tight" imo

te cBs have new powers these last few years since hankyPanky and the doe-eyedPelosi saved us from, unhh,...liquidation, wasn't it?

rest assured, good-lookin, that the paper firewalls these banksters project from behind their curtains will be as e-fuk-A-shus as the putzMeister and the giant tents have been to save us from  fuk_u, which may still be being "priced in" in certain respects

a few years ago, my son went thru this bankster-awe

the economics and credit expansion wisdom he had been fed by others who encouraged him to upload unpayable debt and become a "winner" seemed less inspirational to him, somehow

just as people who can think straight never bought into safe nukuler,  if safe fiat fails, metaphysically here (which it must, imo, since it doesn't add up to 1),  currencies will fail, but real money will never die

Rock N' Roll Is Here To Stay (Danny & The Juniors)

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:19 | 2480615 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Nice little bomb.

The greatest was the Tasr Bomba. They had to put parachutes on the goddamn thing to give the pos bomber time to get away... say 30 miles.

It still broke windows proper in Finland 1200 miles away because it reached to the edge of space and bounced along the top of atmosphere.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:52 | 2479771 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Fuckers are getting good.  Almost time to throw on the ycs.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:52 | 2479773 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Dilute it Faceplant/MorgueStanley style!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:53 | 2479776 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Hey, I clicked on the Obama dinner ad that runs on here 11 times...I hope ZH gets paid for it.

Doin my part (c:

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:54 | 2479780 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Me too.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:56 | 2479786 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Wait.

You mean I won't be having dinner with the Commander in Chief?

Damn!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:44 | 2480058 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Who is the Commander in Chief?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:52 | 2480458 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

George Soros

...2 decades of bankroling the Democrats and he's finally 'made it' to the top of the rotten tree ..that's ambition for you

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:46 | 2480076 Xrated
Xrated's picture

Great idea, nice Christmas gift for my idiot sister-in-law and ZH gets some loot.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:54 | 2479781 Ted Baker
Ted Baker's picture

THE BANKER IS LOADING GOLD HOLDINGS PREPARING FOR THE WORST TO HAPPEN WITH THE EURO AND YEN BELIEVE ME

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:54 | 2479783 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

My car just hit a water buffalo.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:03 | 2479835 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:57 | 2480475 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

it felt like a water buffalo but was probably one of those Hitler Humps (traffic calming measures) ..they're getting higher every year as Western roads are feeling more like 3rd World assault courses!

1 step forward (tarmac) 3 steps back (meddling Govt tossers)

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:21 | 2480620 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Buy a humvee or a Dually 3500.

Or better yet a Freightliner with full airride.

Or go somewhere quiet.

I realized that I live in a State that does not use calming measures... freedom!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:58 | 2479793 Quintus
Quintus's picture

And to think the Swiss CB could just use their Euros to buy gold which has no central bank standing behind it ready to devalue it against you.......

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:58 | 2479801 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

But it's a great time for a European vacation, just ask Zuck. 

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 11:59 | 2479804 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

RWO is Green! IYR and VNQ not far behind.

All hail the CB market!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:02 | 2479827 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

You know, compared to the psychotic, manic depressive world of equites, government debt is generally pretty fucking boring, but when the actual yields go negative, and people start explaining why this makes sense, I think it's time to start calling 'bubble' and looking for signs of a top.  Sure fire signal would be the youngest kids in my office to start quitting and heading off to trade bonds, although again, gov't debt doesn't have the same sex appeal as day-trading .com stocks, or flipping overpriced condos to the next greater fool.  Still, something similar is bound to happen here.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:13 | 2479895 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Bubble yes but where else to put the money. Tens of trillions into what? With bonds you are between a rock and a wolf.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:54 | 2480735 viahj
viahj's picture

USTs, the port of last resort with a cat 7 hurricane brewing in the eastern Atlantic

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:04 | 2479843 NetDamage
NetDamage's picture

Hot money on the run!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:07 | 2479856 TheTwoJohns
TheTwoJohns's picture

yen or usd. rinse and repeat.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:09 | 2479870 NotAnAvgBeanCounter
NotAnAvgBeanCounter's picture

Why can't I think of doing this I was wondering what to do with my eur/usd loses?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:11 | 2479887 BalanceOrBust
BalanceOrBust's picture

So... how come nobody is buying gold with their EUR.  And especially, why not silver?  I notice gold is doing much better than silver today.

This plinko game is getting silier.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 13:36 | 2480367 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Abiotic silver, bitchezzzz!

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 14:22 | 2480633 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

STOP trying to see which is better for the day.

Own the shit yourself in your hands at home.

Then tell us how you feel.

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 12:12 | 2479892 JeffB
JeffB's picture

I'd require all foreign deposits be made in the form of gold.

and charge them for safeguarding it for them.

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