Define Irony: "The J.P.Morgan Guide To Credit Derivatives" By Blythe Masters

Tyler Durden's picture

As readers enjoy JPM squirm his way through the JPM conference call (webcast live) explaining how it is that he not only was fooled by the CIO traders to the tune of billions, but more importantly to mismark hundreds of billions in CDS over the years, here is some delightful irony: "The J.P.Morgan Guide To Credit Derivatives" By Blythe Masters. Because it is truly ironic that the firm which created CDS will be the one responsible for destroying them.


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rigeltrader's picture

Friday 13th CDS vodoo

GeneMarchbanks's picture

<insert seeds of destruction K.Marx quote here>

Bob's picture

Financialization: You can't live with it, you can't live . . . actually, we just can't live with it.  WTF?

insanelysane's picture

There is an infinite supply of other people's money so you can rehypothecate real assets n times where n = infinity.

Bob's picture

The invisible hand seems to have become a nymphomaniacal masturbatory machine.   

resurger's picture

The Reversal of Fortune

localpacific's picture

freaky enuff for friday the 13th... we can count on the ppt to bail us out ... Money Tree: Amazing Trades Using the PPT Methodology

DormRoom's picture

“In life, the visible surface of the Sperm Whale is not the least among the many marvels he presents. Almost invariably it is all over obliquely crossed and re-crossed with numberless straight marks in thick array, something like those in the finest Italian line engravings. But these marks do not seem to be impressed upon the isinglass substance above mentioned, but seem to be seen through it, as if they were engraved upon the body itself. Nor is this all. In some instances, to the quick, observant eye, those linear marks, as in a veritable engraving, but afford the ground for far other delineations. These are hieroglyphical; that is, if you call those mysterious cyphers on the walls of pyramids hieroglyphics, then that is the proper word to use in the present connexion. By my retentive memory of the hieroglyphics upon one Sperm Whale in particular, I was much struck with a plate representing the old Indian characters chiselled on the famous hieroglyphic palisades on the banks of the Upper Mississippi. Like those mystic rocks, too, the mystic-marked whale remains undecipherable.”
-Moby Dick, Herman Melville.  


CDS is the white Whale. Its allure, and enigma births madness.

Mae Kadoodie's picture

Sperm Whale came in Blythe's mouth.

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Blythe will make a good porn star when she loses her job at JPM. 

Al Gorerhythm's picture

Nah, too well trained and she'd be boring. She would probably be type-cast in some anal genre porno (with ironicly reciprocated ass raping scenes) where she'd just lie back and think of England.

falak pema's picture

you mean stiff upper lip and dead lower hip? 

No salsa in that and no sparkling spice, the essence of life, to shake a flute of white into ebullient bubbly strife.

And I don't mean clockwork orange text to recite her delight! 

Ted K's picture

She must have a hell of a body, or you're imagining niche porn where she has a bag over her head.

Biosci's picture

Wow, my browser must be really fucked up.  I'm seeing pale orange text on a white page.  Surely no one in their right mind would print a professional document with such a low-contrast font.  Right?

Sofa King Confused's picture

Is it just me or does anybody else want to fuck Blythe in her ass

holdbuysell's picture

So, Blythe Masters entire career is a total fraud.

JackT's picture

Damnit - orange text on white sucks.  Maybe they should stop hiring hucksters and hire a couple of visual designers!

Tsunami Wave's picture

Blythe Masters (New York)

Tel: +1 (212) 648 1432




Ted K's picture

For a dull time, for a dull time caaa--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!