Dennis Gartman Now Long Of Flip Flopping In Laughing Stock Terms

Tyler Durden's picture

That the market can be stupid long enough to make anyone seem like a fool is well-known and appreciated by all (even if the final fate of centrally planned markets is even better known by all). What apparently is not known by those who are self-professed trading experts, is that flipflopping like a windsock in a hurricane, with the comic regularity of a Goldman FX advisor who shall remain nameless hell bent on skewering what little clients one has left, only makes one look like a complete and utter buffoon. And yet this is precisely what "one of the best gold traders" CNBC knows does over and over and over, to the point where not only does nobody give any credibility to the utterances from said expert's mouth, but it makes the entire venue into sheer unadulterated, laugh out loud stand up comedy (even more so than normal). And while we do not grasp how CNBC's producers consistently invite said individual to dig ever deeper holes for himself, the other perspective is quite clear: after all each contributor makes $200 per CNBC appearance. In the case of the abovementioned gold expert, we can see how this is a make or break cash infusion.

From Friday, March 30, aka Last Friday.

Considering the treacherous environment, for insights we turned to one of the best gold traders we know, esteemed commodities trader Dennis Gartman.


And he tells us he was dismayed by the sell-off earlier in the week, “it was wrong and ill-advised,” he says.


Gartman also tells us he thinks the weakness may be related to end of quarter maneuvering.


“I think some of the sell-off may have been due to liquidation by investors who own gold in terms of yen; the yen got stronger into the end of the quarter.”


But when the new quarter begins Gartman thinks long-term dynamics will come back into play for gold. “The major trend remains in gold’s favor,” he says. And that trend remains from the lower left to the upper right.


In fact, Gartman adds, "I'm very impressed by the manner in which gold has responded (Friday). Gold has begun to quietly work its way higher. That's impressive. (Long-term) I like gold,” he says. “The sell-off has run its course."


Apparently if you repeat a lie often enough ("best gold trader", "esteemed", "world-renowned", etc), it becomes the truth. Just speak loudly, touch the tips of your fingers, and exude faux confidence.

So what happened 3 business days later? Some of the absolutely hilarious soundbites:

  • "The highs in gold were made almost 18 months ago" - so... uh... September 2010? Gotcha world-renowned gold trading expert.
  • "If gold goes to 1640-1660 you have to go to the sidelines. You don't have much choice" - But, but... The sell-off has run its course."
  • "Obviously I am not going to add to my position in gold" - But, but... "I like gold"
  • "I am probably going to cut back on my gold position."... "The first rule of good trading is do more of the things that are working" - Actually no, the only rule of good trading is to do the opposite of what Goldman (recall our warning from last March 28 when Goldman went double down bullish: "We may have some bad news again, as the 'bullish' sentiment this time comes from none other than the muppet master, after Goldman released a note overnight saying that "gold is set to glimmer as growth tarnishes."), and of course gold expert Dennis Gartman are doing. Thank you for the all clear signal.

At least Gartman is not short of gold in Vietnamese Dong.

If one is not convulsing at this absolutely incomprehensible humor, one is likely long of lobotomies in idiot terms. But even a lobotomized idiot will understand that the trend on the chart below remains from the upper left to the lower right.

After all, only world renowned, expert gold traders can make millions.... when starting with billions.

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gmrpeabody's picture

But..., just last week he was all in!

nope-1004's picture

I actually believe that Gartman is FOS.  Bernie Madoff was, and just kept up the PR stint to make things appear "expert".  Look at HAG, not doing well.  Time will pull the plug on this too.



Pladizow's picture

Gartman, Kass & Kramer - CNBC's 3 Stooges!

gmrpeabody's picture

To Cramer's credit..., he's still long on gold.

He knows...

Dr. Engali's picture

Shit Cramer is long gold too? Well it should provide a short term
Buying opportunity. I'll wait until he says sell then I'll buy.

Havana White's picture

But he's recommending GLD of all things.  I don't think the gold info and commentary sites are doing enough to expose that garbage.  I wish these sites would place a permanent sidebar link to a clearly articulated explanation of GLD's perils and pitfalls and impress upon readers who may find securing  physical gold impractical, or may prefer more immediate liquidity, and thus are looking for a catch-all non-miners gold ETF, that there are far more sensible ones which truly and verifiably back every share with gold.  Same goes for SLV, the silver ETF which, like GLD, may be backed by nothing but thin air.  Read the fine print before putting your money at risk -- by law it's on GLD's site:

Find the prospectus and read the frightening "Risks" section:

There you will find that GLD uses HSBC bank USA as custodian to care for GLD's physical gold in London, of all iffy places.  With this arrangement in London this custodial relationship is entirely unregulated and the GLD trust carries no insurance at all on the gold it is promised by HSBC. Furthermore, HSBC may subcontract any or all of its custodianship, and these subcontractors may also subcontract, and so on ad finitum. (By the way, this paragraph is in my own words; all of this is spelled out in the prospectus.) It gets worse: there are no written contracts for these custodial relationships. The GLD trust has no rights to know who any of these subcontractors are, nor are they entitled to inspect or even see their own gold. These subcontractors are permitted to intermingle the GLD gold with their own gold. (What??) And there are no provisions nor is there any available recourse, outside of whatever English law may afford, for loss, damage, or theft. There's more, but all of this should be plenty enough to make it clear that owning shares of GLD would be so risky it would be stupid. London? Why would GLD's manager and marketer, the American financial firm State Street, enlist an American bank which is most likely second only to JP Morgan as the world's biggest short-seller of precious metals, to look after its gold in anything-goes, unregulated England? And then have the gall to list "transparency" and that GLD shares are sold on a "regulated" exchange amongst the funds top key benefits? No thank you, never.

Dubious Maximus's picture

Havana: scary what goes under the banner of "investments".  Thanks for the heads up.

Bindar Dundat's picture

He won't say sell.  He will say SELL SELL SELL!

ihedgemyhedges's picture

CNBC = Comedy Network Broadcasting Channel.  I laugh my ass off when they bring these buffoons on.  When they actually get serious, they bring on Rickards and Bass.  But those guys don't sell air time because they live in the real world...............the only reality shows America wants to see is Survivor 14, American Idol season whatever, and more of the Kardashian's cleavages..................

knukles's picture

Fuck gold.  I hid my winning Haitian lottery ticket; in Kardashian's clevage. 
I'm getting a woody.

ihedgemyhedges's picture

Please specify the Kardashian cleavage please............................further, you should know that their cleavages are inspected quite frequently by all sorts of characters, so I bet your lottery ticket has already been cashed in............poor bastard.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Chewbacca Kardashian scares me the most.

Common_Cents22's picture

I love how CNBS talking heads, interview each other!  They have 8 split screens of 7 talking head hosts, and maybe one market participant.  

maxcody's picture

Kass beats most hands down.  He buys stocks that are undervalued.  Most of his money is made in shorting. Look at the asset mangement stocks that he has recomended for a long time. I have made more money with kass than any other.  He preserves capital. Show me anyone better.  He goes long or short.  I have made money with him in BEN, TROW,WDR, IFF, XL,LNC, OZM, CSX.  He is excellent for a swing trader like me.




I think I need to buy a gun's picture

these guys do whats best for their own positions they should all be investigated and thrown in jail with all the other people that are still free walking around with their millions,,,,,all of these guys are completely useless to society what productive means do these assholes do by getting on tv showing us the stocks they sold 2 hours prior and vis versa..

israhole's picture

"what productive means do these assholes do by getting on tv showing us the stocks they sold 2 hours prior "

Maybe you meant 2 hours after?

Havana White's picture

Mebbe he meant short-sold two hours prior?  Anyway, point taken.

Xibalba's picture

And just like that...Gartman joins the rank ranks of Cramer -How to get even, when you're up a lot

hedgehog9999's picture

Some goldbug I know of talks about the recognition phase in the gold market is just  starting.......the ONLY recognition is Gartner checking his account and recognizing the drop in the last few days or rather the last 18 months especially for those staunch buy and holders......

Stay out of gold, for a year or two until the bankers crap ther pants while they puke.....they are wining for the time being....they can even take a leave of absence from printing for a little while and


Gold and PM's have done squat for the last 18 months while printing was going unabated.

HelluvaEngineer's picture

My understanding was that Melissa Lee loves Vietnamese Dong

Pladizow's picture

She'll take what she can get!

ihedgemyhedges's picture

Females love any currency bro.........................whether it has a sexual overtone or not...........

But wait, does this mean British women like the pound for reasons other than what I thought???????????

WillyGroper's picture

why u pick on merissa ree? she only host.

knukles's picture

Merissa haf rovery rove handrels hanging on bicepts.

Common_Cents22's picture

M. Lee-  Carp lips.

at least erin burnette left for the Entertainment Channel, CNN.  Erin says when she used to be on wall street, she'd always "run the numbers".  WTF??  

How many viewers does CNBS have?  20,000 world wide?

They should put Donny Deutsch on some more.  LOL.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Five dolla sucky sucky, me love u long time.

Eireann go Brach's picture

If you pull his mask off his ugly fucking face, you will find that Denniss Gartman is actually Napolean Dynamite and has been fucking with everyone for years!

WhiteNight123129's picture

Ok the Gartman indicator tells us we could have 1974 style consolidation, hang on Gold bugs, be ready for a possible retrenchment to buy Gold at much lower price sinfe Gartman is bull7sh.


TeMpTeK's picture

Whoever writes ZeroHedge's Headlines is Effin awesome... almost fell off my chair

e_goldstein's picture

Jesus and Gartman loves you.


davey's picture

He's the biggest asshole. The perfect contrarian indicator.

Zero Govt's picture

talking of 'chumps' i think Turd Ferguson is now penniless (a 'victim' of his own trading decisions) but at least his last Podcast showed novices how to grin and bare it when being fleeced by the sharks

it's all gone quiet over at King World News too as they spent all last week explaining how their last ramping got smacked down... then all this week ramping (yet again, so soon?) only to get smashed down (yet again, so soon?) today

as for Jim Sinclair he's on his 17th call in 2 years the Miners are "a coiled spring waiting to explode" 

I don't know about Denis Gartman but Jims Mining calls must be passing Gartmans failure rate and approaching the diabolical record of those chumps, Rob Prechter at Elliott Wave, who have a 95% failure rate on the metals

where can a guy get some sound advise in the metals markets, the sector seems rammed with chumps???

Pladizow's picture

What was Gartman's call on gold 10 years ago?

What was Sinclairs?

Ans: Zero Govt, STFU!

Zero Govt's picture

No idea Pladizow

...but surey Jim Sinclairs Mining calls must be approaching Rob Prechters 95% failure rate?

facts are facts mate, sorry if you can't handle it


Zero Govt's picture

er, ok, what facts do you have?

when did Jims miners explode to the upside?

..i missed it, my KWN ramp radio special is down 30% and the rest of the sector has been flatlining dead despite the triple-terrors, Sinclair/KWN/Ferguson, blowing hot air over the sector for months

Pladizow's picture

Go back to your 1 month CNBC charts!

Zero Govt's picture

fantabulous answer Pladizow, such a brilliant defence of Jim Sinclairs totally crap mining calls

as patronising as Fergusons Podcast or the stream of "legends" on KWN giving 'advise' on taking losses or Jim Sinclairs website photos of having a laugh on St Paddys Day and feeding his fleeced sheep after another crap call where $1,700-$2,100 Gold looks remarkably like $1.600 (Jims maths have been a bit 'out' all year)


israhole's picture

Jim Sinclair and Eric King are not traders, they're positioned for what is upon us and have been for a long time, and quite profitably for many years.   It sounds like you should keep your money parked in confetti while you day trade yourself to poverty vs. HFT-bots.

People that can ride the bull get smacked around all the way up, while Gartman suffers from short-sightedness like yourself ZG.

Zero Govt's picture

you're really a 'mine' of information ...or maybe just talking complete waffle!

because Jims been recommending we all get in on the mining shares for months and months because they're going to "explode to the upside" any day ...get in, in, in"

of course Jim's a Gold bugs best mate and father figure (that's how he plays it anyways) ...only some might think he's just talking his book and his calls on the market are as off as they are on (but don't let reality creep into his delusions of granduer)

and our other best mate Fergusons "favourite miner" Endeavour Silver Corp has tanked a whopping -20% since he recommeded only weeks ago to his 'best buddies' at Turdville (another 'winner' from a terrible trader who thinks he's a "talemt for reading charts!!")

with "mates" like these, and all the "mates" at King World News (Eric King is the shrillest hopium ramper of the lot and should go see a Doctor) it's a wonder why Gold bugs are all so miserable and out of pocket isn't it?

Maybe if Sinclair got off his throne surrounded by doting sycophants like you and stopped deluding himself he's the Godfather of Gold and just another Tanzanian Royalty Miner Exec flogging his shares like all the rest of the rampers on KWN 

whenever he calls crap he goes on pontificating like he's walking down a red carpet without a care in the world. sheep to the slaughter around his feet totally ignored... it's no wonder he thinks he's so good, he never sees any hate mail

fockewulf190's picture

Well, here is some advice: just keep stacking phyzz and forget the noise. Unless your a trader with membership in the big Club, your probably just going to get financially raped faster than a she male in Rikers Island playing these markets. The retail investor has left the building...I repeat, the retail investor has left the building.

Zero Govt's picture

focke  -  yep i don't give a monkies about my stack and never compare it to the daily price movements wether i'm in profit or loss

regards the metals 'market' it's utterly rigged both sides of the Pond by monopolist banks and their protection racket of inept asleep regulators, there's the farce of a smackdown everytime Blowjob Ben appears on stage to show what a big dick he's got (pure fallacy) and then there's another whole host of clowns (rampers) pretending to be a Gold-Silver bugs best friend

what a circus of complete rot