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Dennis Gartman Now Long Of Flip Flopping In Laughing Stock Terms

Tyler Durden's picture


That the market can be stupid long enough to make anyone seem like a fool is well-known and appreciated by all (even if the final fate of centrally planned markets is even better known by all). What apparently is not known by those who are self-professed trading experts, is that flipflopping like a windsock in a hurricane, with the comic regularity of a Goldman FX advisor who shall remain nameless hell bent on skewering what little clients one has left, only makes one look like a complete and utter buffoon. And yet this is precisely what "one of the best gold traders" CNBC knows does over and over and over, to the point where not only does nobody give any credibility to the utterances from said expert's mouth, but it makes the entire venue into sheer unadulterated, laugh out loud stand up comedy (even more so than normal). And while we do not grasp how CNBC's producers consistently invite said individual to dig ever deeper holes for himself, the other perspective is quite clear: after all each contributor makes $200 per CNBC appearance. In the case of the abovementioned gold expert, we can see how this is a make or break cash infusion.

From Friday, March 30, aka Last Friday.

Considering the treacherous environment, for insights we turned to one of the best gold traders we know, esteemed commodities trader Dennis Gartman.


And he tells us he was dismayed by the sell-off earlier in the week, “it was wrong and ill-advised,” he says.


Gartman also tells us he thinks the weakness may be related to end of quarter maneuvering.


“I think some of the sell-off may have been due to liquidation by investors who own gold in terms of yen; the yen got stronger into the end of the quarter.”


But when the new quarter begins Gartman thinks long-term dynamics will come back into play for gold. “The major trend remains in gold’s favor,” he says. And that trend remains from the lower left to the upper right.


In fact, Gartman adds, "I'm very impressed by the manner in which gold has responded (Friday). Gold has begun to quietly work its way higher. That's impressive. (Long-term) I like gold,” he says. “The sell-off has run its course."


Apparently if you repeat a lie often enough ("best gold trader", "esteemed", "world-renowned", etc), it becomes the truth. Just speak loudly, touch the tips of your fingers, and exude faux confidence.

So what happened 3 business days later? Some of the absolutely hilarious soundbites:

  • "The highs in gold were made almost 18 months ago" - so... uh... September 2010? Gotcha world-renowned gold trading expert.
  • "If gold goes to 1640-1660 you have to go to the sidelines. You don't have much choice" - But, but... The sell-off has run its course."
  • "Obviously I am not going to add to my position in gold" - But, but... "I like gold"
  • "I am probably going to cut back on my gold position."... "The first rule of good trading is do more of the things that are working" - Actually no, the only rule of good trading is to do the opposite of what Goldman (recall our warning from last March 28 when Goldman went double down bullish: "We may have some bad news again, as the 'bullish' sentiment this time comes from none other than the muppet master, after Goldman released a note overnight saying that "gold is set to glimmer as growth tarnishes."), and of course gold expert Dennis Gartman are doing. Thank you for the all clear signal.

At least Gartman is not short of gold in Vietnamese Dong.

If one is not convulsing at this absolutely incomprehensible humor, one is likely long of lobotomies in idiot terms. But even a lobotomized idiot will understand that the trend on the chart below remains from the upper left to the lower right.

After all, only world renowned, expert gold traders can make millions.... when starting with billions.


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Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:32 | 2317815 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:35 | 2317826 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

But..., just last week he was all in!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:55 | 2317876 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I actually believe that Gartman is FOS.  Bernie Madoff was, and just kept up the PR stint to make things appear "expert".  Look at HAG, not doing well.  Time will pull the plug on this too.



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:16 | 2317914 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Gartman, Kass & Kramer - CNBC's 3 Stooges!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:38 | 2317963 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

To Cramer's credit..., he's still long on gold.

He knows...

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:28 | 2318063 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Shit Cramer is long gold too? Well it should provide a short term
Buying opportunity. I'll wait until he says sell then I'll buy.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:04 | 2318134 X.inf.capt
X.inf.capt's picture



Thu, 04/05/2012 - 02:39 | 2318687 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Here is some laughing matter...NOT!



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:05 | 2318379 Havana White
Havana White's picture

But he's recommending GLD of all things.  I don't think the gold info and commentary sites are doing enough to expose that garbage.  I wish these sites would place a permanent sidebar link to a clearly articulated explanation of GLD's perils and pitfalls and impress upon readers who may find securing  physical gold impractical, or may prefer more immediate liquidity, and thus are looking for a catch-all non-miners gold ETF, that there are far more sensible ones which truly and verifiably back every share with gold.  Same goes for SLV, the silver ETF which, like GLD, may be backed by nothing but thin air.  Read the fine print before putting your money at risk -- by law it's on GLD's site:

Find the prospectus and read the frightening "Risks" section:

There you will find that GLD uses HSBC bank USA as custodian to care for GLD's physical gold in London, of all iffy places.  With this arrangement in London this custodial relationship is entirely unregulated and the GLD trust carries no insurance at all on the gold it is promised by HSBC. Furthermore, HSBC may subcontract any or all of its custodianship, and these subcontractors may also subcontract, and so on ad finitum. (By the way, this paragraph is in my own words; all of this is spelled out in the prospectus.) It gets worse: there are no written contracts for these custodial relationships. The GLD trust has no rights to know who any of these subcontractors are, nor are they entitled to inspect or even see their own gold. These subcontractors are permitted to intermingle the GLD gold with their own gold. (What??) And there are no provisions nor is there any available recourse, outside of whatever English law may afford, for loss, damage, or theft. There's more, but all of this should be plenty enough to make it clear that owning shares of GLD would be so risky it would be stupid. London? Why would GLD's manager and marketer, the American financial firm State Street, enlist an American bank which is most likely second only to JP Morgan as the world's biggest short-seller of precious metals, to look after its gold in anything-goes, unregulated England? And then have the gall to list "transparency" and that GLD shares are sold on a "regulated" exchange amongst the funds top key benefits? No thank you, never.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 15:32 | 2320206 Dubious Maximus
Dubious Maximus's picture

Havana: scary what goes under the banner of "investments".  Thanks for the heads up.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:09 | 2338279 Bindar Dundat
Bindar Dundat's picture

He won't say sell.  He will say SELL SELL SELL!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:47 | 2317985 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

CNBC = Comedy Network Broadcasting Channel.  I laugh my ass off when they bring these buffoons on.  When they actually get serious, they bring on Rickards and Bass.  But those guys don't sell air time because they live in the real world...............the only reality shows America wants to see is Survivor 14, American Idol season whatever, and more of the Kardashian's cleavages..................

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:08 | 2318024 knukles
knukles's picture

Fuck gold.  I hid my winning Haitian lottery ticket; in Kardashian's clevage. 
I'm getting a woody.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:08 | 2318146 chump666
chump666's picture


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:49 | 2318230 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Please specify the Kardashian cleavage please............................further, you should know that their cleavages are inspected quite frequently by all sorts of characters, so I bet your lottery ticket has already been cashed in............poor bastard.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 03:43 | 2318710 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Chewbacca Kardashian scares me the most.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:24 | 2318632 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

I love how CNBS talking heads, interview each other!  They have 8 split screens of 7 talking head hosts, and maybe one market participant.  

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 00:29 | 2318561 maxcody
maxcody's picture

Kass beats most hands down.  He buys stocks that are undervalued.  Most of his money is made in shorting. Look at the asset mangement stocks that he has recomended for a long time. I have made more money with kass than any other.  He preserves capital. Show me anyone better.  He goes long or short.  I have made money with him in BEN, TROW,WDR, IFF, XL,LNC, OZM, CSX.  He is excellent for a swing trader like me.




Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:55 | 2317877 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

these guys do whats best for their own positions they should all be investigated and thrown in jail with all the other people that are still free walking around with their millions,,,,,all of these guys are completely useless to society what productive means do these assholes do by getting on tv showing us the stocks they sold 2 hours prior and vis versa..

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:01 | 2318127 israhole
israhole's picture

"what productive means do these assholes do by getting on tv showing us the stocks they sold 2 hours prior "

Maybe you meant 2 hours after?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:21 | 2318408 Havana White
Havana White's picture

Mebbe he meant short-sold two hours prior?  Anyway, point taken.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:57 | 2317882 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

And just like that...Gartman joins the rank ranks of Cramer -How to get even, when you're up a lot

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:02 | 2318374 hedgehog9999
hedgehog9999's picture

Some goldbug I know of talks about the recognition phase in the gold market is just  starting.......the ONLY recognition is Gartner checking his account and recognizing the drop in the last few days or rather the last 18 months especially for those staunch buy and holders......

Stay out of gold, for a year or two until the bankers crap ther pants while they puke.....they are wining for the time being....they can even take a leave of absence from printing for a little while and


Gold and PM's have done squat for the last 18 months while printing was going unabated.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:51 | 2318485 Spitzer
Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:00 | 2317888 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

My understanding was that Melissa Lee loves Vietnamese Dong

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:21 | 2317926 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

She'll take what she can get!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:55 | 2318005 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Females love any currency bro.........................whether it has a sexual overtone or not...........

But wait, does this mean British women like the pound for reasons other than what I thought???????????

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:24 | 2318056 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

why u pick on merissa ree? she only host.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:57 | 2318119 knukles
knukles's picture

Merissa haf rovery rove handrels hanging on bicepts.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:42 | 2318330 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:28 | 2318636 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

M. Lee-  Carp lips.

at least erin burnette left for the Entertainment Channel, CNN.  Erin says when she used to be on wall street, she'd always "run the numbers".  WTF??  

How many viewers does CNBS have?  20,000 world wide?

They should put Donny Deutsch on some more.  LOL.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 03:44 | 2318712 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Five dolla sucky sucky, me love u long time.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:04 | 2317894 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

If you pull his mask off his ugly fucking face, you will find that Denniss Gartman is actually Napolean Dynamite and has been fucking with everyone for years!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:10 | 2317904 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Ok the Gartman indicator tells us we could have 1974 style consolidation, hang on Gold bugs, be ready for a possible retrenchment to buy Gold at much lower price sinfe Gartman is bull7sh.


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:50 | 2318108 TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

Whoever writes ZeroHedge's Headlines is Effin awesome... almost fell off my chair

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 02:21 | 2318678 natty light
natty light's picture

Long of funny

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 02:15 | 2318674 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Jesus and Gartman loves you.


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 08:23 | 2318918 davey
davey's picture

He's the biggest asshole. The perfect contrarian indicator.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:32 | 2317817 GenXer
GenXer's picture


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:11 | 2317896 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

talking of 'chumps' i think Turd Ferguson is now penniless (a 'victim' of his own trading decisions) but at least his last Podcast showed novices how to grin and bare it when being fleeced by the sharks

it's all gone quiet over at King World News too as they spent all last week explaining how their last ramping got smacked down... then all this week ramping (yet again, so soon?) only to get smashed down (yet again, so soon?) today

as for Jim Sinclair he's on his 17th call in 2 years the Miners are "a coiled spring waiting to explode" 

I don't know about Denis Gartman but Jims Mining calls must be passing Gartmans failure rate and approaching the diabolical record of those chumps, Rob Prechter at Elliott Wave, who have a 95% failure rate on the metals

where can a guy get some sound advise in the metals markets, the sector seems rammed with chumps???

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:23 | 2317932 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

What was Gartman's call on gold 10 years ago?

What was Sinclairs?

Ans: Zero Govt, STFU!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:32 | 2317949 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

No idea Pladizow

...but surey Jim Sinclairs Mining calls must be approaching Rob Prechters 95% failure rate?

facts are facts mate, sorry if you can't handle it


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:43 | 2317970 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Actually, they are not.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:09 | 2317983 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

er, ok, what facts do you have?

when did Jims miners explode to the upside?

..i missed it, my KWN ramp radio special is down 30% and the rest of the sector has been flatlining dead despite the triple-terrors, Sinclair/KWN/Ferguson, blowing hot air over the sector for months

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:48 | 2318098 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Go back to your 1 month CNBC charts!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:09 | 2318117 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

fantabulous answer Pladizow, such a brilliant defence of Jim Sinclairs totally crap mining calls

as patronising as Fergusons Podcast or the stream of "legends" on KWN giving 'advise' on taking losses or Jim Sinclairs website photos of having a laugh on St Paddys Day and feeding his fleeced sheep after another crap call where $1,700-$2,100 Gold looks remarkably like $1.600 (Jims maths have been a bit 'out' all year)


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:15 | 2318155 israhole
israhole's picture

Jim Sinclair and Eric King are not traders, they're positioned for what is upon us and have been for a long time, and quite profitably for many years.   It sounds like you should keep your money parked in confetti while you day trade yourself to poverty vs. HFT-bots.

People that can ride the bull get smacked around all the way up, while Gartman suffers from short-sightedness like yourself ZG.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:00 | 2318200 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you're really a 'mine' of information ...or maybe just talking complete waffle!

because Jims been recommending we all get in on the mining shares for months and months because they're going to "explode to the upside" any day ...get in, in, in"

of course Jim's a Gold bugs best mate and father figure (that's how he plays it anyways) ...only some might think he's just talking his book and his calls on the market are as off as they are on (but don't let reality creep into his delusions of granduer)

and our other best mate Fergusons "favourite miner" Endeavour Silver Corp has tanked a whopping -20% since he recommeded only weeks ago to his 'best buddies' at Turdville (another 'winner' from a terrible trader who thinks he's a "talemt for reading charts!!")

with "mates" like these, and all the "mates" at King World News (Eric King is the shrillest hopium ramper of the lot and should go see a Doctor) it's a wonder why Gold bugs are all so miserable and out of pocket isn't it?

Maybe if Sinclair got off his throne surrounded by doting sycophants like you and stopped deluding himself he's the Godfather of Gold and just another Tanzanian Royalty Miner Exec flogging his shares like all the rest of the rampers on KWN 

whenever he calls crap he goes on pontificating like he's walking down a red carpet without a care in the world. sheep to the slaughter around his feet totally ignored... it's no wonder he thinks he's so good, he never sees any hate mail

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:49 | 2317989 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Well, here is some advice: just keep stacking phyzz and forget the noise. Unless your a trader with membership in the big Club, your probably just going to get financially raped faster than a she male in Rikers Island playing these markets. The retail investor has left the building...I repeat, the retail investor has left the building.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:01 | 2317994 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

focke  -  yep i don't give a monkies about my stack and never compare it to the daily price movements wether i'm in profit or loss

regards the metals 'market' it's utterly rigged both sides of the Pond by monopolist banks and their protection racket of inept asleep regulators, there's the farce of a smackdown everytime Blowjob Ben appears on stage to show what a big dick he's got (pure fallacy) and then there's another whole host of clowns (rampers) pretending to be a Gold-Silver bugs best friend

what a circus of complete rot

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:20 | 2318047 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Yawn...... Oooh, you're so edgy..... That's so hot......

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:59 | 2318123 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i think your text got mixed up with your live online porn date...check which keyboard you're typing on mate

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:55 | 2318358 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Gartman said Copper would never trade over $4/lb in his lifetime, another doozy from him.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 00:40 | 2318577 maxcody
maxcody's picture

Kass can make more in a day than most of you make in a year with a whole lot less risk. 


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:27 | 2317940 ffart
ffart's picture

Well, all those guys are financial "gurus" who have been following gold for decades and know all the fundamentals driving it so maybe what the gold world needs is a President Skroob type character. An idiot who offers us a guiding light by virtue of his utter poverty ignorance and lack of in depth study of gold trends and fundamentals. Then all we need to do is turn away from whatever advice he offers us and we'll be right 100% of the time.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:18 | 2318043 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Just goes to show you that timing the short term trends are for fools. You look at the fundamentals and until the fundamentals change you hold your position. If you believe that the government is going to solve the debt problem in any other way than inflating it away then you should probably sell gold. I personally don't see any avenue out for the government so I'll stick to buying gold on weakness. I don't care what happens tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I look at weakness as a gift from the market.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:12 | 2318157 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

"I personally don't see any avenue out for the government so I'll stick to buying gold on weakness."

I don't see any avenue, road, street, lane, drive, highway, etc etc out for the government either.

No one has been able to explain how the government is going to get out of this mess and people just ignore this.

When Bernanke is testifying before Congress, Ron Paul should ask him in basic mathematical terms to explain how we get out of the debt trap.

Cut spending? Raise taxes? Fuck yeah!

They almost had Geithner but he's too much a stupid dork when he was asked about the debt ceiling.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:48 | 2318340 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Santa should be prescribed a heavy round of anti depressants

As to "Turd" he proved himself a wannabe, rank amateur in dated sunglasses with his recent calls.

Now he wants to sell access to his site with promises of access to insider "Winston" of 1984 fame. 80s music videos thrown in for free.

Blythe Masters must be laughing her ass off.

And what an ass on her, truth be told.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 06:07 | 2318778 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Santa actually appears to be avin a right good larf during all this carnage judging by his jaunty photos on JSMineset while his sheep get fleeced to the downside

i'm still not sure how or why (or who awarded) Jim the title 'Mr Gold' and wether he was a Catrel appointee or the Hunt Brothers own choice for winding down their Silver empire in the 80's. That was when the big boys behind the curtain stitched-up the Hunts (regulators moved the goalposts on leverage) fleeced everyone on the upside and then downside too making a real killing that was a far, far bigger story the Press wouldn't run than the Hunts 

so was Sinclair an establishment appointee or the Hunts to wind them down? Then he had a string of stockborkers so he knows how to play the game (a new decade, new faces for this ramping) but Jim always points at the cartel never the many other 'agents' ramping small investors and others into the metals circus

yes indeed isn't Turd Ferguson a "wannabe".. he's gone from just a buddy on a blog to a spy-botted website with ultra-sensitive heavies (Mods) and uber-big ego in seems like weeks

Normally it takes a few years like Sinclair and Rob Prechter at Elliott Wave to be surrounded by over-loyal staff, doting sycophants for the ego to puff to a point of (self)delusion.

Sinclair and Prechter allow no bloggers to comment to cushion their egos from reality (and a feedback loop on their crap predictions) whereas Turds 'buddy' image has slipped as he uses trigger happy Mods to not allow any criticism from real people of him or his network of corporate buddies at KWN rampers radio 

it's a wonder during his rise from obscurity he never once mentioned how 'well connected' he was to Sinclair, Norrichi and the whole KWN guestlist, rampers he defends as "valuable information" 

Turd is even murmering at ever increasing intervals about political office and running for President ...gulp!!

His calls are as crap as Joe Bidens on Jon Corzine/MF Global and the US Presidents on Solyndra so he has all the credentials.. Edeavour Silver down -20% in weeks, another 'winner' from Turd

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:57 | 2318362 AllWorkedUp
AllWorkedUp's picture

Couldn't agree more. At least Gartman hasn't told anyone to jump into gold stocks and ride them down 50-70% like these other geniouses.



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:15 | 2318163 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Alternative Headline:


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:34 | 2318316 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Turd Fergusons famous words to his 'friends' on Feb 28th, night before the smackdown were:

"buy, buy, buy physical, ETF's, miners anything"

Fergusons words post-smackdown were, "I warned you it could drop to $32 or $31 must take responsibility for your own decisions"

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:34 | 2318439 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Taking advice from somebody that refers to himself as a 'piece of shit' and his readers as 'smaller pieces of shit' obviously carries its own giant caveat.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:54 | 2318490 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

@ZG you asked earlier what would actually be tradeable in paper, long GLD options (I usually sell cash secured puts to generate positive theta) + short UGL options (usually put buys, bear call verts work too) on a 3-6 month timeframe is generally pretty reliable at generating a net profit while removing the directional guesswork (pretty easy to initiate it at delta neutral too if your trading platform doesn't suck).  Physical is obviously the best choice, but given that fiat still exists and is used to buy stuff, it's not a terrible idea to trade the market as well.  

And before I get a bunch of replies re: GLD, I get it.  Never trade any money you're not willing to lose, beware of counterparty risk, etc.  It's gambling, it just happens to have better odds than Vegas if you're not a complete moron and do your homework.  

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:33 | 2317821 giggs
giggs's picture

I have a question for you ZH readers:  Where is the best place to buy gold?  I live in Boston and some of these online sites charge ridiculous fees.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:39 | 2317835 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture



They're minimums are a bit steep for some, but you'll be hard pressed to find such low premiums online.


APMEX seems to have gone the way of the beast ever since they started using JP Morgan Chase as their bank. *SNICKER*

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:07 | 2317900 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Try comparing prices across many vendors (some of which are advised below) here:



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:55 | 2318004 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Thanks Cooter, a friend of mine also uses

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:23 | 2318297 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Tulving is good but 500 oz. Silver or 20oz. Gold minimum. Provident metals seems to have the best prices on smaller orders but I have never bought from them.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:40 | 2317839 JohnG
JohnG's picture

I've used for years, always been happy and no sales tax bonus if you live outside FL.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:41 | 2317840 piceridu
piceridu's picture

a good guy and fair price:


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:43 | 2317845 ouchtouch
ouchtouch's picture

Ditto on, you won't find better prices anywhere and service is good too.  For smaller quantities, try  Apmex used to be good, but they raised their prices and are no longer competitive.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:57 | 2317881 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture,, is too high imo

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:57 | 2318010 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Usually their deals are pretty good though. Today they had a .99 cent over spot silver bar sale that was good. Do other sites routinely offer low premiums over spot for smaller purchases? Hate that Apmex opened up an office in Manhatten though. Now you have to pay NY sales tax on all purchases under 1k. Sucks.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:25 | 2318057 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

APMEX is legit.  I have also bought from and am pleased with pricing.  Sign up for their specials update

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:18 | 2317917 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

I think of them all, APMEX is the only one that can handle muilti currencies though.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:48 | 2317861 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

the first rule of golds, is not to talk about golds.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:48 | 2317863 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i'm in Europe, how am i supposed to know?!

my usual methology in a new city is fin d a string of jewellery shops and go in and ask for Gold-Silver coin shops

should work in Boston too

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:03 | 2317906 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Get yourself an " I buy gold" sign then ofer 35% of spot price. You'll rake it in. Fools don't know what they are selling.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:32 | 2318643 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

I'm ready to do some gold/silver buying parties.  Tons of people will sell their silverware and gold jewelry cheap for cash on the spot.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:24 | 2317935 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture


Boston Bullion
33 Center St
Burlington, MA 01803

Keep each purchase under $10,000 and no name is needed. 

Consider not parking in their lot. Walk in, from a block or two away; with a hat.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:53 | 2318000 Boston
Boston's picture

Except that these guys overcharge.

Here's an idea: buy it cheaply via Gainesville, etc. Later, after you received the shipments, post ads online and "sell" it, cuz you changed your mind.

Suddenly, you own "nothing".

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:02 | 2318012 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Suddenly, you owe taxes. Got receipts?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:05 | 2318017 Boston
Boston's picture

I sold it---for cash---at a LOSS. How much do I owe?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:31 | 2318069 wisefool
wisefool's picture

snarc: You probably have never had to do a psych profile on SEC-TRES.

It is nasty in there. just donate a bunch to the mormon church and you might get off.


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:00 | 2318124 Boston
Boston's picture

I could always lose it ("it fell overboard") in a boating accident.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:14 | 2318162 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I think corzine has reserved that one. and unfortunately for him 'bammers going to get a second term so no pardons for 4 years.

go by the old tried and true "It was an oversight, I'll correct it, please tell me how to correct it"

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:18 | 2318167 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

with a hat & makeup like Mrs. Doubtfire.

there, fixed it for ya.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:13 | 2318033 knukles
knukles's picture

Try the Nigerian fax based dealers. 
A secret known only to Yankees fans.  

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:19 | 2318288 live free
live free's picture

Come on up to new Hampshire. Buy with cash. No sales tax. and no banking or shipping trail.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:04 | 2318604 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

very sensible

of course, i value anonymity and privacy, so i'm biased...

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 00:17 | 2318530 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

@ giggs "I have a question for you ZH readers:  Where is the best place to buy gold?  I live in Boston and some of these online sites charge ridiculous fees."

there's probably 500 places in boston you can "buy gold" including macy's

i see this is your first post

think thru your own needs a bit more thoroughly, if indeed you really have any;  you might just be trying to be "curious" here,  riiiight?

if only you could give yourself credit for being able to figure out how to buy a silver dollar or a gold coin in boston, you probably wouldn't even need to register on zH starting almost 2 weeks ago so you could put this up as your first post...

maybe you are a creation of a bullion dealer...  a troll'sTroll

brain-dead styooopid is pretty hard to cure, either way, but the "innocence" is so...  understated

does that fit for you, too?  Hahahaha! 

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:03 | 2318596 knukles
knukles's picture

Yeah, Macy's.  Third floor, in back of missized elderly fashion lingere needs; merry widows, Depends lace starter belts, high heeled flats and super absorbent panty liners. 
Or maybe COSTCO.  yeah, fucking COSTCO.  Order a pallet of the shit; bars, slabs, ingots, rounds, blanks, coins, tokens, slugs, chains, baubles, bangles, beads, anal beads, golden hinds and dildoes.  Go for it.
Probably a Red Sox fan, to boot.
Jesus, Slewie, look at what you got me doing for Christ's sake.  Its Zero fucking dark 30 hours and I've had very little sleep the last several days and one of my cohorts sends me an e-mail (He's long gold and bugs the shit outa me about investments all the time.) from fucking Huffington Post titled Gold is going down forever or some such shit.
So now we can put buyer and seller together and scalp the piss out of them; I mean, they both really need a good fucking.
Ah, our new muppet class.
See, you've twisted my mind way the fuck past any prospect of recovery.
I'm gonna tell my wife about you when she asks why I'm screaming and I'm sure she'll not like the tone of your voice.  Thank you for the plausable deniability.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 01:16 | 2318620 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the original filene'sBasement has a gold vending machine now, k-nuk

of course, it never works and looks like a '57 plymouth after the demolitionDerby at this point

send your wife over here;  scalp her first~~i'm flexible;  implausible as it sounds, she'll never be able to deny anything, again

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:35 | 2317827 Oppressed In Ca...
Oppressed In California's picture

CNBC reports stories at the direction of the government/Fed.  Everytime gold drops, they declare the death of gold, ignoring that all the central banks are furiously printing money like crazy.  So much for all these Ivy League-educated CNBC reporters/commentators.  What whores.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:35 | 2317828 Crimedog
Crimedog's picture

"At least Gartman is not short of gold in Vietnamese Dong."



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:05 | 2317898 SHEEPFUKKER

Dennis is short of brains in any terms. 

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:36 | 2317829 UnpatrioticHoarder
UnpatrioticHoarder's picture

The more Gartman wakes up to and drops hints about gold manipulation, the more TPTB will invite him on CNBC to make an idiot of himself.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:56 | 2317842 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

cnBSc viewership must be down to about a few thousand viewers.

I haven't watched it in years. It was absolutely wretched then, and I can't imagine how much more wretched it probably is now (though I don't doubt it's worse, as there was a firm trend there).

Bloomberg used to be watchable, at least, but just as in currency wars, devaluation seems to be the name of the game, and Bloomberg Television has been devalued of most content that has any redeemable value, only being 'better' than the farce that is cnBSc as a relative matter.

Bloomberg still has a few (select few) decent journalists on their writing staff, including Jonathan Weil & Caroline Baum, for now (as Mark Pittman, unfortunately, passed away: Mark Pittman, Reporter Who Challenged Fed Secrecy, Dies at 52). 


It really doesn't help this nation or her citizens that 8 corporations own every single newspaper, radio station, television network, cable station, magazine or academic textbook publisher, and that all can be proven to have deep and interwoven links to the largest financial institutions (aka 'too-big-to-fail') that are protectorates of the non-Federal Reserveless non-Bank, and especially its arm that is the FRBNY. But at least there's been a major spike in consciousness of this fact, also (probably approaching the III percent of the total population that's necessary to ignite the catalyst that results in generational, watershed change).

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:16 | 2317913 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Let us ponder a hypothetical scenario...

What would MSNBC do if they continuously lost a significant percentage of their professional/educated viewership over some unit of time to "blogs"?

The show must go on! Besides, they get paid screwing people with asymmetric information anyway, which is all the more evident when they don't go bankrupt given a continuously shrinking base of viewers. For fucks sake, normal TV does reality shows now to stay profitable. Did anyone every think how cheap they are to produce versus titan classics like M*A*S*H?

Folks, blogs are where its at for breaking, specialized news. They can't compete.




Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:40 | 2318081 wisefool
wisefool's picture

last night I fired up the old digital over the air converter for coverage of the weather. My local NBC station. In the old days they just re-ran leno and conan 'till 05:00 and they called it "NBC late nite"

I had a shooting headache at about 03:30. they are actually running mad money on NBC affiliates where they used to  just have infomercials an fart jokes. check your local listings.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:22 | 2318178 israhole
israhole's picture

" they are actually running mad money on NBC affiliates where they used to  just have infomercials an fart jokes. "

Thanks for the laugh!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:36 | 2318205 wisefool
wisefool's picture

the only reason a joke is funny is because there is some truth in it. They really are running CNBC Mad money on traditional OTA/FCC NBC affiliates.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:58 | 2318501 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Yeah, I saw that.  Seems like a jumping the shark moment for television financial news/informaiton, but then again, how many of those have there been, yet they stil persist?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:23 | 2317934 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Cdad rises from his chair in applause for ZH and this absolutely spot on, unflinching assessment of the "World Renowned" commodity clown D. Gartman...who is "long of" himself, mostly.  And as bad as it is with this guy, it is not much better with 90% of the folks who appear on the BlowHorn [CNBC] to weave a train of thought to fit a position they have already taken, economic circumstances and broken markets and logic be damned.

The whole comedy network breeds this kind of self-aggrandizing, double talking, TBTF bank promoting nonsense that, if you listen to it throughout the day, will cripple your trading efforts.

And all of it feeds back to the recent revelation that at least 10% of people in the financial services industry are by strict definition psychopathic liars.   

Hat tip, Tyler.  Keep it coming...perhaps a weekly BlowHorn personality dysfunction spotlight? 


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:43 | 2318212 tu-ne-cede-malis
tu-ne-cede-malis's picture soon? Please?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:43 | 2317846 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

You watch, this clown will be back on CNBC in October when gold is at $2,200 telling everyone how bullish he was on gold...

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:45 | 2317850 Herbert Philbrick
Herbert Philbrick's picture

Hey, wait...  Gartman is a Ron Paul supporter.  How can you be so critical?  Oh, maybe I'm wrong about that...

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:45 | 2317851 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I've even heard that chubby little asian cunt call him "legendary" trader Dennis Gartman

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:46 | 2317858 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Gartman should be long of things that "when i drop them on my foot they hurt" and instead drop them on his head over and over and over.

And who are the muppets that pay around $7500 a year for his brilliant insights contained in his daily letter? Because i want to be on the opposite side of everyone of their trades.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:48 | 2317860 coolpajim
coolpajim's picture

Try Very fair prices and excellent service. I have been very happy with my relationship.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 18:05 | 2320668 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:07 | 2317862 exartizo
exartizo's picture


Obama: The market tanked today Ben.


Bernanke: Yes. In line with our expectations.


Obama: Yeah I know. How far can we let it drop to see if it will stabilize?


Bernanke: We project that it could drop all the way back to 10,000 if we don’t intervene. It is possible that sub 10,000 could come around shortly thereafter.


Obama: How did we get into this mess?


Bernanke: On the bright side. We did pump up the Dow for the past few months in anticipation of this plan.


Obama: When did we start that again?


Bernanke: Well, after we decided to do “Operation Training Wheels Two” the Dow was at around 11,700.


Obama: So we’ve inflated a roughly 1300 point cushion?


Bernanke: Approximately.


Obama: Is the market going to continue dropping through the election?


Bernanke: No. If the S&P hits 1030 I’ll do another round of QE.


Obama: That’s having less and less of an effect isn’t it?


Bernanke: Yes. Unfortunately, it is.


Obama: How much time are we buying here before meltdown?


Bernanke: Another year, tops.


Obama: We’re just flying by the seat of our pants here Ben aren’t we?


Bernanke: Yes Mr. President. I’m afraid we are.


Bernanke: Are you sure you really want to be President again this year?


Obama: Look Ben, just try not to give me any more QE until AFTER November if you can, huh? I've been taking a lot of heat for $4 gas prices you know.


Bernanke: I'm not sure that will be possible Mr. President. The other Central Banks have caught on and we're now in dead last place in terms of our currency debasing plan. It's only a matter of time until we'll have no other choice but to get back into the fight.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:18 | 2317919 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

This assumes the market just moves up and down by some mysterious outside force, and then the FED reacts with aactions or whatever? Yea well I dont buy into any of it, what will really happen is something out of left field no one saw coming. Theyre hapy to let everyone keep on thinking theyre smart and have all their next moves guessed, QE not till after Nov, etc. Its all just BS.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:44 | 2317975 ffart
ffart's picture

Yeah if people really think they have everything under control they should just be long whatever they're touting on CNBC for the day. I think they'd be disappointed in the results though.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:54 | 2318002 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Since we are all expecting some sort of a bad black swan event, perhaps it will be a pink swan....some absolutely amazing stroke of luck that no one even hinted at happening....such as an earthquake that takes out D.C. and NYC, while congress is in session and The Big O is in the WH.....talking with Ben....

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:50 | 2317869 gitta4437
gitta4437's picture

Hey need to use the c-word when talking about ANYBODY.....keep it civil

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:22 | 2318294 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

How about a cunning stunning stunt?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:03 | 2318376 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Keeping it civil is the same as towing the line, would it be ok to swear on the train heading to the Gulag?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:52 | 2317870 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Schiff bats this idiot around like a pinata

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 18:57 | 2317880 navy62802
navy62802's picture

I hope gold crashes to the $500 range. I'll be loading up.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:45 | 2318475 IronShield
IronShield's picture

If gold crashes to the $500 range, there won't be any available to buy...  Anywhere...

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:04 | 2317895 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

All you had to say was the word Gartman.... Enough said.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:07 | 2317897 Jesse
Jesse's picture


Dennis Gartman is always and everywhere a douche.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:05 | 2317899 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

"It's all bulls..t. And it's bad for you" The theme of George Carlin's final tour.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:59 | 2318011 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

George Carlin. Gone too soon. He would be having a field day today.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:10 | 2317902 Cursive
Cursive's picture

More Wednesday humor:

Can you smell the desperation? The time for selling everything not nailed down (including PM's) is within sight.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:47 | 2318338 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

What fuckheads!

The dow didn't regain inflation adjusted highs until 1984 after 1929. Who can wait that fucking long?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:10 | 2317903 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

It's similar to the joke, " my wife made me a millionaire".. I was a multimillionaire before marrying her".

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:20 | 2317910 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Hey, Tyler, could you fix that last bullet point?  It is harder to follow than the Gart-man himself!

Should I be short of gold, like the Gart-man, since Golden Slacks is bullish on the shiny heavy stuff?

Next stop $1550?



Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:26 | 2317939 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

More like 1525ish!!! Maybe!!! :())

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:18 | 2317916 BlankfeinDiamond
BlankfeinDiamond's picture

"You got girlfriend Vietnam?"

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:20 | 2317928 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

This is the only notable story this evening? Some ass hat gold trader clown and his record? 

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:30 | 2317942 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Sorry, would you like a refund?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:42 | 2317968 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

Documenting the fact that Gartman is an idiot is a public service.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:14 | 2318035 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

holishitoli, clint!

has tyler issued  the durdenPut?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 21:56 | 2318241 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

sheep-dawg:  there's an article at the top of the page about a house alGore bought two years ago, too...

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:44 | 2317971 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Whatever you do, don't down SD; he is very sensitive and may not post anymore.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 22:22 | 2318296 CryingBear
CryingBear's picture

Actually, SD is Tyler's boss because it is SD that businesses here are targeting. Without SDs this Tyler would have to work at BI. SD has a right to complain and should not be treated with disrecpt and get made fun of by others. He is also a contributor like the rest of us and provide honest feedback and additional content and that is what keeps the visitors coming. 


GO SD!!!! so much creativity buying a sheep costume and having your dog wear is for a pic!!!!!


Thu, 04/05/2012 - 17:52 | 2320634 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Ya, short gold with no margin but use leverage like Options. I'd suggest a GLD strangle just barely out of the money > 120 days OR if you feel enterprising a smaller total $ risk position with debit-spread in the negative direction. OR you could merely try a Put > 60 days and if it doesn't go down enough in the next 4 weeks unload it regardless, as to minimize risk that gold goes up. If you don't see that nasty drop in 4 weeks and you aren't hedged with a Call too, you'd regret this.

Don't use margin to short gold today, wait for a huge new high in nominal terms in the summer to even think about that. Even then the risk-reward benefits of strangle / put options is smarter than a margin-boosted short.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:46 | 2317982 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Sorry Dog but I like it when Tyler calls out these idiots.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:52 | 2317996 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

Old saying:

 When you dont like the news you are reading, go and make some new news that you do like


or something similar.


We should all do more of that

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:06 | 2318020 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Yeah this is good advice. A healthy walk around your local neighborhood should put you back into equilibrium. Birds are chirping, cars are moving, and don't have those nasty RPG spalling marks on them. Life is good.


Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:25 | 2317936 Anarchyteez
Anarchyteez's picture

July 5th, John Galt day! Spawned right here
on ZH.

Nobody goes to work or spends any money!

Equals no taxes paid.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:30 | 2317944 northman
northman's picture

Maybe it's just me, but isn't it irrelevant in which currency you value gold? Isn't the whole point of gold that it retains it's value regardless of what paper value you assign to it....

If gold really was doing 'better' in YEN then you would just buy it in dollars and sell it in YEN. It's fucking gold Jerry! Ship it the fuck over there in a big ol boat. The gold that Dennis Garbageman holds will likely buy him the same amount of apples in Japan as it will in the states.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 20:00 | 2317978 Doomer
Doomer's picture

It matters if you borrowed yen to buy it!  One can surmise that Gartman expected the yen to weaken relative to the dollar, and both to weaken relative to gold.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 23:34 | 2318441 CryingBear
CryingBear's picture

Gartman just wants people to be interested in his trades. He couldve just said he is short yen but still has gold.

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:48 | 2317988 CryingBear
CryingBear's picture

wtf, it doesnt take a genious to understand gold goes down when bernenke speaks or when the fed minutes are out now. look at the last 5 times gold went a 1% lower in one day. gold use to go up in the past to those mentioned events until this year which means gold bull market is over.

Thu, 04/05/2012 - 17:44 | 2320612 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Lots of times gold went up 3% or more with Bernanke opening his mouth so predicting gold always goes down is in error.

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 06:56 | 2325852 CryingBear
CryingBear's picture

Gold went up when Bernenke spoke before the blow off top. Since then, gold went down every time he spoke or when the fed minutes were out. Howeover, gold tends to go up to the date of when Bernenke speaks to fall.

Bernenke is the gold god

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