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Did God Hack Goldman Sachs?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It is oddly appropriate that when a reader opens the client portal of Goldman Sachs, also known as the bank that does God's work, in order to pull Jan Hatzius' take on today's economic data assortment, one would encounter the following amusingly intentional easter egg...

As a reminder Psalm 138:

1 A Psalm of David. I give thee thanks, O LORD, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing thy praise; 2 I bow down toward thy holy temple and give thanks to thy name for thy steadfast love and thy faithfulness; for thou hast exalted above everything thy name and thy word. 3 On the day I called, thou didst answer me, my strength of soul thou didst increase. 4 All the kings of the earth shall praise thee, O LORD, for they have heard the words of thy mouth; 5 and they shall sing of the ways of the LORD, for great is the glory of the LORD. 6 For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly; but the haughty he knows from afar. 7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou dost preserve my life; thou dost stretch out thy hand against the wrath of my enemies, and thy right hand delivers me. 8 The LORD will fulfil his purpose for me; thy steadfast love, O LORD, endures for ever. Do not forsake the work of thy hands.

All joking aside, it appears out friends at 200 West have a bit of a mole infestation on their hands...

 

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Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:02 | 2114606 Rahm
Rahm's picture

A fool and his money are quickly parted

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:20 | 2114676 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

 

 

"C" Street will NOT be happy, "J" Street won't either.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:22 | 2114681 Michael
Michael's picture

Psalm 23 
King James Bible 

            The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 
            He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: 
            He leadeth me beside the still waters. 
            He restoreth my soul: 
5          He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.° 
            Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
            I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; 
            Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 
            Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: 
10        Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 
            Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: 
            And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:33 | 2114717 Capt Tripps
Capt Tripps's picture

Yeah, "Valley of the Shadow of Death" is way fucking cooler then "Midst of trouble"...

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:50 | 2115604 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs.

- Ministry

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:42 | 2114755 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture
Matthew 21:12-13

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all of them who sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Kick moneychanger ass Jesus!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:57 | 2114794 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

Easy now, us forex guys are not really money changers, it's just paper, however we gold bugs may be a different story.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:09 | 2114820 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

NumberNone wrote: "Kick moneychanger ass Jesus!"

 

Jesus should kick the asses of a few Jews in the temple of Goldman Sachs.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:55 | 2115467 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Last time he tried that I think it didn't end well for him... Perhaps it would simply be better if we all took our sheckles and converted to gold.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:37 | 2115685 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

millions still worship Jesus and he has been dead for 2000 years! money can't buy that legacy!

meanwhile nobody gives a shit about top 1% from Rome in 10AD.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:46 | 2115693 superflyguy
superflyguy's picture

And that is the root cause of the problem. If they gave a shit about them, maybe they'd learn a lesson by now ... but no, it's better to repeat the mistakes of the ancestors and be sheep.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 13:13 | 2116746 silverbullion
silverbullion's picture

God is a Mentality and those who worship Him must worship Him in Mentality and in Truth. Jesus was God in the flesh because He was 100% infused with the Mentality of Separation which is commonly known as the Holy Ghost. He was murdered, but raised after 3 days... He is definitely not dead. Yes, He is not in the corporal body of Jesus Anointed (commonly known as Jesus Christ) today, but live inside the true Christians (Non-Judeo), who are His Body Politic/Government/Church here on earth. Lucifer, who was once an Angel of Light, rebelled against God and managed to incite a third of the angels against God. God and the non-fallen angels then made war against Lucifer and the other fallen angels and won. God then created the earth and Lucifer and the other fallen angels were cast upon the earth. The primary purpose of Jesus's (God's) children is to be His agents upon this earth. God in us and us in God. His portion of the earth. Needless to say, Lucifer, or commonly known as Satan, is also a mentality and a very infectious one.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:50 | 2115696 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Leo, are you trying to say that Jesus would smile on antisemitic paroles?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:39 | 2115102 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Come on! Who cares about Jesus in finance! Take your superstitions elsewhere.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:27 | 2115581 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

when it comes to magic, myths, and childrens' stories, I prefer Tolkein

"Evil oft mars itself"-Mithrandir

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 04:38 | 2115725 dieyoung
dieyoung's picture

I think it was relevant. Would you complain if it was a Simpsons quote?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:46 | 2115125 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

.!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:06 | 2115187 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Please, OLD TESTAMENT ONLY!!!  Thank you.

Sincerely, Goldman Sachs, Ace Greenberg, Robert Rubin, Hank Paulson, Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, most Wall Street white collar defense lawyers, etc etc etc....................................

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:25 | 2115237 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin.

Goldman Sachs, thou art weighed in the balances, and found wanting.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:42 | 2115689 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

money as God creates devils out of men.

 

orthodox religious jews are alright:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/86/Members_of_Neturei_Ka...

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:17 | 2115379 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

Paulson's a Christian Scientist (not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 00:19 | 2115500 Real Money Wins
Real Money Wins's picture

Job 3: 13-14

For now I would be lying down in peace;I would be asleep and at rest with kings and counselors of the earth, who built for themselves places now lying in ruins,

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 06:56 | 2115785 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Publicly it's the old testement but behind closed doors it's really the Talmud.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:40 | 2115276 Kipper und Wipp...
Kipper und Wipperzeit's picture

A little background:

At the time, each observant Jew had to visit the Temple at least yearly, often more, to fulfill religious obligations, and they had to pay a "temple tax" in order to gain admission (much like Mormons today, incidentally). Now, at the time, there were a lot of different monetary systems, and the authorities at the temple would only accept, if I recall correctly, the silver shekel, so the money-changers set up shop exchanging silver shekels for various Gentile currencies, and charging a neat markup, thus parasitically enriching themselves off of others, some of them very poor, discharging their religious obligations. Right next to them were people selling animals at high prices for sacrifice.

In this passage Jesus criticizes religion being run as a money-making enterprise, which if anything is more common in his day than ours. The mormons, the "health and wealth" Pentecostals, the Vatican, and many many many others who claim to live by Jesus' words and example had ought to read this passage and tremble.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:25 | 2115404 Whiner
Whiner's picture

A man cannot serve two masters... You cannot serve both GOD and mammon. Matthew 5 or 6 there a bouts. Get the f--k out of My Fathers House (which was to be called a House of Prayer for All Nations). Jesus mows more about money than Lloyd Blankfiend...and all us ZHers combined. Long Jesus, short USD.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:48 | 2115695 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

wrong

 

a man can serve his boss, his bosses boss, regional VP, executive VP, CXO, shareholders, government tax man, the church, banksters who hold the mortgage, etc.

 

a man is usually serving many masters in today's world. slaves didn't have to pay tax, report to 30 hierarchy of bosses, shareholders, no mortgage, etc.

 

Jesus does have a long ass track record of 2000+ years. probably the most revenue generating franchise of all time in history of the world. More so than banks, governments, ideologies, etc.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 13:27 | 2116830 silverbullion
silverbullion's picture

You mean "observant Judean". The term "Jew" has seen light the first time about 400 years ago and is a term that was used to refer to money changers. Please don't confuse them with the Judeans who were the true Israel as described in the Old Testament. Yes, the Edomites, were of the same blood as Israel, but they race mixed and created something that was not pronounced good by God. They have broken God's law of seed after it own kind. This is why they want to murder us, black and white, through race mixing, pretend to be the Israel of God and continue to usurp the Authority God's real children have received to rule and reign upon the earth. They are their god's chosen children and his name is Lucifer. They will never openly admit it, because just as their father, they are murderers and liars.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:13 | 2114833 JohnG
JohnG's picture

"I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; "

 

Samuel L. Jackson style:

"For I am the meanest motherfucker in the whole damn valley....."

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:36 | 2115095 Rusty.Shackleford
Rusty.Shackleford's picture

AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:03 | 2115177 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Samuel L Jackson style is...

"Enuf is enuf... I've had it with these motherficking snakes on this motherfucking plane"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amYzBQMT4VI

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:32 | 2114711 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice.......shame on me again. Fool me three times..........shame on, well, me. Fool me four times..........shame on me, dang, fell for it again. Fool me five times..............

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:10 | 2115009 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

fool me once, shame on you.....fool me twice, shame on me!!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:27 | 2115057 frosty zoom
frosty zoom's picture

thrice...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:06 | 2115183 francis_sawyer
Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:51 | 2115697 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

you can't fix stupid....look at GWB after all that private schooling he is still borderline retarded.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:35 | 2114730 Frederic Bastiat
Frederic Bastiat's picture

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.  Prov 13:11 (why not to be a trader)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:41 | 2115111 donsluck
donsluck's picture

I'm sorry but, fuck the bible, who cares?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:44 | 2115121 ThatGuyEhler
ThatGuyEhler's picture

I would say the 2.1 billion Christians living on this planet might care a little.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 02:08 | 2115628 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

 

 

You can't be serious. 

Christians know less about the bible than any other bible-based religion, and many people who have no religion at all, like me.

Calling themselves Christians is the height of hypocrisy.  They know less about Christ's teaching (and do more to distort Christ's teaching), than any other bible-based religion, and many people who have no religion at all, again like me.

This is why ALL Christians are lost.  Every one of them.  Whoever claims the "Christian" label is lost.  Period, end of story.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 02:56 | 2115667 Hober Mallow
Hober Mallow's picture

Who is this guy Christ everyone here is talking about?

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:53 | 2115701 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

jewsus superhero.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 05:41 | 2115749 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

 

 

 

Who is this guy Christ everyone here is talking about?

 

He's the cat you can see between the legs of the stripper...here:

 

http://orlingrabbe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wpid-Ylxst.jpg

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 12:14 | 2116529 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Wow. Those are some wide-ranging generalizations you are making there.

You must have an IQ of, like, 280, and have lived for centuries, and traveled the whole world many times over, and met millions and millions of people, to be so sure of what you are saying.

I am impressed.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 13:52 | 2116931 silverbullion
silverbullion's picture

Don't confuse so called Judeo-Christians with the real deal. We are most definitely not all lost.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:52 | 2115141 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

you atheist have all the answers - tell me something ? - how would you grade yourself, pitted against todays 'natural selection', being that your on both sides of a morton's fork - does 'darwin' carry your waste` water? 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:10 | 2115202 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

earleF   ' you're' not 'your'

my dumbass got agnostic in Catholic schools, they are great for that...

if you are not familiar with the spelling of contractions and their homonyms (loose sense) avoid their use in your writing

otherwise folks will think you're a dumbass

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:24 | 2115230 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

well,... excuse me - the student is now a, umm, show-me teacher - how quaint your findings leave me butt-befuddled in udder disarray

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:42 | 2115598 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Ah, Catholic school!  Like you, my faith never recovered from the experience.  While nuns with rulers still stalk through my nightmares occasionally, and I shun church of any sort as a rule, it appears that some of the substance rubbed off on me after all.  As an act of charity, painful as it may be, I try not to correct the spelling, grammar or puctuation of others and hope for the same forgiveness, from those strict grammarians among us, for my errors in tense or imperfections of punctuation. 

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 05:23 | 2115742 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

I fondly recall my 'South Park' days of Catholic School at Sacred Heart in Aurora, Colorado...1967, third grade. 

I learned that 'camping out' at Cherry Creek Park for a couple of months in the middle of winter is cool at first, but waking up with ice on your face really sucks, to smoke, cuss effectively, to turn my wrists 'just so' as the ruler came down, to NEVER ask Mother Superior how much they paid her for all the women she controlled, to never light a candle just for the fuck of it, how to flick a super-long bugger straight from the nose to the back of the girls head two seats ahead and four rows over, and to never try to ice skate in tennis shoes on an asphalt playground (my head still rings). 

But for some reason, I was only there for one year.  The following year I was at Fulton Elementary School.  Fourth Grade. 

There I learned that in 'Smear the Queer' you REALLY don't want the football, that the coach for the President's Physical Fitness Council couldn't jump an inch off the ground, that two hundred bored boys could build an impromptu levee system using their heels in the dirt to send a bazillion gallons of snow melt water into the music room, that the day the Principal came to my classroom with 'that' look and walked towards me while my Dad was in Viet Nam until he realized he wanted the kid sitting next to me...who got his dad's postumous medal of honor (that remains the shittiest feeling day of my life), that tornados can make a cars tires squeal each time they land on the pavement, and snowball fights can find rocks thrown at your teeth instead of a snowball.

For some reason we moved back to California. 

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:44 | 2116147 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Girls learn different lessons. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:53 | 2115314 piceridu
piceridu's picture

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei, In Religio

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:31 | 2115416 Whiner
Whiner's picture

Hey, Sluck. Why don't you read it first, a book in print and best seller for thousands of years. You don't know who you are, where you came from or where you are going. Short fools. Long -wisdom.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 02:54 | 2115666 Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture

the I-Ching (book of changes) is much older.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:37 | 2114836 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Jews don't believe in the Messiah Jesus!

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 03:52 | 2115700 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Well, Jesus believed in Jews, as far as I understand.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:02 | 2114608 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

Doing (and quoting) God's work

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:30 | 2114883 ss123
ss123's picture

Tebow works for Goldman now?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:40 | 2115108 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

This was no mistake.  Anyone who believes so is naive.

I am Chumbawamba.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:38 | 2115273 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Yes Chumba. A lot of binary messenging seems to be happening. Coincidence or not is a good question. A better one would be if a person or people would believe certain phenomena even it was explained clearly. Where does myth and science intersect? Curious or not so curious, is or is it not the question.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:55 | 2115468 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Science is simply another form of accepted beliefs that happen to have consistency, by method or otherwise.  No one can really say that science has figured out anything that self-consistent myths don't.  Everything in science is still just theory, and subject to the overturn of centuries worth of thought and belief with one new small discovery.  Hence, science is also nothing more than "myth", a set of beliefs that are formed around a self-consistent model.

That being said, this sort of thing doesn't happen by accident, but either by divine design (as you may be alluding) or by illuminated understanding.  It is exactly as Psalm 138 reads: this is an offering of thanks for some favor that was fulfilled by a higher power.  The Biblical connotations are not without intent.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:01 | 2115530 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

"Everything in science is still just theory, and subject to the overturn of centuries worth of thought and belief with one new small discovery. Hence, science is also nothing more than "myth", a set of beliefs that are formed around a self-consistent model"

Without too far of a run down the epistemological rabbit hole:

By defintion empirical method doesn't exactly embrace things like 'blind faith'. Science prefers ideas to beliefs. Deduction to induction (though it's true it'll take the latter if that's all it can get). The fact that science adapts itself to new information is its strength rather than a weakness; discover, overturn, and enlighten as you may.

And as far as languages go, it's tough to argue against the principles of basic mathematics/logic; which are inherently understood the planet over.

I mean, if everything in engineering is 'just a theory', I'll sure be relieved to find out that you're not the one hiring the guy who designs the bridges in my town... you're not, are you?

JMHO

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 06:17 | 2115765 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

Scientific theories must be subject to stringent tests which attempt to refute or falsify them. They can start out as myths or bold conjectures but they must be continuously subject to tests that try to prove them wrong. And yes scientific theories are the result of deductive not inductive reasoning. These are not my ideas. The great 20th century philosopher of science, Karl Popper originated them. Conjectures and Refutations, "Preface":

"The way in which knowledge progresses, and especially our scientific knowledge, is by unjustified (and unjustifiable) anticipations, by guesses, by tentative solutions to our problems, by conjectures. These conjectures are controlled by criticism; that is, by attempted refutations, which include severely critical tests. They may survive these tests; but they can never be positively justified: they can be established neither as certainly true nor even as 'probable' (in the sense of the probablity calculus). Criticism of our conjectures is of decisive importance: by bringing out our mistakes it makes us understand the difficulties of the problem which we are trying to solve. This is how we become better acquainted with our problem and able to propose more mature solutions: the very refutation of a theory-- . . . is always a step forward and takes us nearer to the truth. And this is how we can learn from our mistakes." (pp. xi-xii)

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:04 | 2114618 trade the day
trade the day's picture

The power of christ compels you BITCHEZ

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:30 | 2114679 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Demon Voice: What's that?
Father Karras: Holy water.
Demon Voice: You keep it away. Uhh! Aah! It burns! Oh! It burns! Aah! A-a-a-aah!

What an excellent day for an exorcism.!!!

http://www.hark.com/clips/fyfppvqdmc-power-of-christ-compels-you
http://www.hark.com/clips/yxkbccrllg-holy-water-you-keep-it-away-it-burns

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:35 | 2114729 billybobtx
billybobtx's picture

 

Dimon Voice: What's that? 
Father Karras: Holy water. 
Dimon Voice: You keep it away. Uhh! Aah! It burns! Oh! It burns! Aah! A-a-a-aah!

There, fixed it.

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:15 | 2114837 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Turns out it wasn't Holy Water. Fucking demon put on a show to the very end didn't it.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 00:56 | 2115540 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

...the face-up-headfirst crabwalk down the stairs is still one of the creepiest scenes I have ever witnessed, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. Wasn't that cut from the original?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:05 | 2114620 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

Some content jockey probably just copy and pasted his password into the content he was editing.

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:06 | 2114623 Pchelar
Pchelar's picture

I would say Psalm 55 Verse 9 through 11 would be more apropo:

Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues,
For I have seen violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they go around it on its walls;
Iniquity and trouble are also in the midst of it.
11 Destruction is in its midst;
Oppression and deceit do not depart from its streets.

 

Pretty good description of the workings on Wall Street these days...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:23 | 2114683 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

This is a Psalm affirming that God is the hero and savior of the lowly.  "The haughty He knows from far off."  As he knows Lucifer and his minions from far off.  I thought it was quite appropriate. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:35 | 2114731 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

But actually the Psalms are numbered differently in the Orthodox and Roman Catholic old Testaments.  138 is 139 in the Protestant and Jewish numbering.  This one is also  appropriate, maybe more so. 

1O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

 2Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

 3Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

 4For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

 5Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

 6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

 7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

 8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

 9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

 10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

 11If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

 12Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

 13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

 14I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

 15My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 16Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

 17How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

 18If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

 19Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.

 20For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

 21Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?

 22I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.

 23Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:54 | 2114780 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

E= MC2

As you approach the speed of light, time stands still and mass is infinite. All. The one.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:00 | 2114800 falun bong
falun bong's picture

The Dalai Lama walked into a pizza shop and said "make me One with Everything..."

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:08 | 2114819 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I heard it was a hot dog stand in New York.  And the monk with him said "Make me one with nothing."

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:14 | 2115022 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Gunga Galunga - Bill Murray caddies for Dalai Lama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSawRbeTjkY

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:09 | 2115194 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

...so you have THAT going for you...

A flute with no holes...

Is NOT a flute...

& a donut with no holes...

IS A DANISH!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:18 | 2115385 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

I LOVE THIS SONG! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etpHKueh6S0

LOVE! I'm Alright (From "Caddyshack") 3:46 Kenny Loggins Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow - The Greatest Hits of Kenny Loggins Rock  1

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:46 | 2114926 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

It depends on one's frame of reference. If you were moving at nearly the speed of light, relative to me, you would think my time was going slowly. To you, your time would proceed normally. Or so says Einstein.

Similarly, the view from within JPM is very different from the view from without.

It's all relative, unless it's in your possession.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:57 | 2114787 Gohn Galt
Gohn Galt's picture

Nice, better to read the different versions, translations, get the source yourself and translate it on your own.  Not that Jesus or Hillel would get caught up on words and yell infidel!  The spirit is the most important.  But they would question everything and would want everyone to know for themselves the truth.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:48 | 2115299 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Galt, I like the flair of Shakespeare, "to be or not to be that is the question". Be prepared to ask questions on both sides of an argument, framing using effective use of questions will not allow an individual to lie and get away with it. God bless you all, whatever name you pray to. The good news is we're evolving. The bad news means difficult competition to overcome, although the global competition as a planned event may be quite fun.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:40 | 2114745 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

My favorite:

"You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why.....OOPS"[No, sorry. Wrong guy]

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:03 | 2114808 Pontius
Pontius's picture

He knows when you've been sleeping.  He knows when you're awake.  He is watching and is all knowing.   Santa Claus was crucified on the cross for you.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:16 | 2114840 billybobtx
billybobtx's picture

Statements like that make the 6 pound, 8 ounce newborn infant Jesus weep silently...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A0-u85aAYg

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:02 | 2114972 Pontius
Pontius's picture

Baby jebus is winning for those kids and that family.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:31 | 2114886 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

...some would have us believe that...
Christ Died For Our Sins.
...as loving as Christ supposedly was... who in their right mind would do that?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:37 | 2114901 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

God. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:46 | 2115128 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Come on people, it DOESN'T MATTER!!! Get off the religious track. Stay focused.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:29 | 2115248 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

donsluck:

Is this your alter ego? http://www.democrats.com/node/11357

 

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 08:38 | 2115835 bpom
bpom's picture

Raymond, I have got some land for sale in South Lousyana that is a real steal.  sales@LousyLand.com

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 12:21 | 2116570 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

John 3:16

New International Version (©1984)
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

New Living Translation (©2007)
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

English Standard Version (©2001)
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

International Standard Version (©2008)
"For this is how God loved the world: He gave his unique Son so that everyone who believes in him might not be lost but have eternal life.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English (©2010)
For God loved the world in this way: so much that he would give up his Son, The Only One, so that everyone who trusts in him shall not be lost, but he shall have eternal life.

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
God loved the world this way: He gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.

King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

American King James Version
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

American Standard Version
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Douay-Rheims Bible
For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting.

Darby Bible Translation
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whosoever believes on him may not perish, but have life eternal.

English Revised Version
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Webster's Bible Translation
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Weymouth New Testament
For so greatly did God love the world that He gave His only Son, that every one who trusts in Him may not perish but may have the Life of Ages.

World English Bible
For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Young's Literal Translation
for God did so love the world, that His Son -- the only begotten -- He gave, that every one who is believing in him may not perish, but may have life age-during.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:36 | 2114899 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

You didn't lie to your children.  St. Nicholas did exist in the 4th century.  A Greek monk who had a penchant for leaving anonymous gifts such as coins in peoples shoes left out on the porch stoop. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:06 | 2114624 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

he should use psalm 137-9

Psalm 137:9

King James Version (KJV)

 9Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:06 | 2114625 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Speaking in tongues .

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:07 | 2114626 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Ah-ah-Ah-ah-men

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:14 | 2114654 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Haminah haminah haminah...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:33 | 2114716 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Dominus vobiscum, mofo.

Et cum Squiditu, tuo.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:40 | 2114734 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Mmmm calamari pancakes.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:25 | 2114862 Manthong
Manthong's picture

unleavened little calimari wafers..

Latin translation of above:

The dominator be with you, fo of Mo.

And the Squid also, with you.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:23 | 2116330 Archduke
Archduke's picture

It's weirder than that.  Is the Vatican an activist shareholder at GS, or are these figures part of GS's defence strategy?

 

 

It was Sister Nora Nash of the Sisters of St. Francis of Philadelphia. And the slight, soft-spoken nun had a few not-so-humble suggestions for the world’s most powerful investment bank.

...

In short, Goldman should do God’s work— something that its chairman and chief executive, Lloyd C. Blankfein, once remarked that he did. (The joke bombed.)

...

After a prayer, a group recitation from Psalm 68 (“The protector of orphans and the defender of widows is God in God’s holy dwelling”)

 

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/business/sisters-of-st-francis-the-qui...

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:10 | 2114637 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

They should have gone with the Samuel Jackson bit from Pulp Fiction. Just seems more...Goldman.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:13 | 2114650 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

ahh, beat me to it.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2114664 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

[talking to Marsellus on the phone]
Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' "ifs". All I wanna hear from your ass is, "You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly."
Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there and chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.
Jules: You sendin' The Wolf.
Marsellus: You feel better motherfucker.
Jules: Shit negro, that's all you had to say.

 

[Wait - did Jules Jedi the MFer? Over the phone? Did Marsellus improvise on a mind-trick?]

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:11 | 2114641 jm
jm's picture

Shma Yisrael Hashem Eloheinu Hashem Echad.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:32 | 2114715 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

How is Madonna these days...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:43 | 2114918 jm
jm's picture

Oy yoy yoy.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:54 | 2114950 palmereldritch
Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:30 | 2115249 jm
jm's picture

Too bad she went ahead with the circumcision.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 23:28 | 2115408 palmereldritch
Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:09 | 2116265 Archduke
Archduke's picture

off with her head, and all ponzi sects and offshore structures.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:12 | 2114647 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Whereas WE should be quoting that passage from the book of Exekiel that Samuel L. Jackson made famous.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:17 | 2114652 blu
blu's picture

No no that's not it. "psalm138" is well-known hex code used to wake up remote bot networks on rooted host machines. You tap that code against ports 666 and 7734 and the bot opens up port 69 for double penetration. And you are in that beotch!

Probably means GS is r00ted by the spooks. DHS has been onto them for awhile.

Just kidding. I made all that up. No really I did. Listen, if the DHS knew I was back leaking intel on their bot network they'd have me on a boat to Gitmo in a New York minute. Oh hey there's someone at the door BRB ...

[conxn lost]

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:14 | 2114653 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

"All joking aside, it appears out friends at 200 West have a bit of a mole infestation on their hands..."

So do our financial markets:

http://www.calibratedconfidence.com/2012/01/3-to-200000-197000-is-new-tight-spread.html

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:17 | 2114668 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

There is still someone trying to prove the market is a manipulated crime scene even though it has been proven time after time?

Amazing

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2114693 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Hey!  Know-it-all-Tyler!  How have you been snooty?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:33 | 2114702 blu
blu's picture

Listen. You can't have a full season of episodes if you solve all the mysteries on the first airing. They're just milking this dog for all the drama they can until the season finale when it turns out Obama was an under-aged illegal from Haiti, Holder was a stone carving in a suit, and BB was a senile old homeless guy who got the job accidentally while sitting on the very park bench across the street from the Pound&Pence where the real "Bernanke" (a Jewish comedian unknown outside New Jersey) was supposed to meet his JPM handlers just before taking the job at The Fed.

See?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:38 | 2114740 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

keeping the topic relevant for the forum that introduced us to it. 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:43 | 2114757 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Persistence is admirable. Alas at this point it is in the hands of the SEC who have stubbornly refused to deal with crystal clear facts for two years.

Perhaps one should start somewhere simpler: why is Corzine not in prison? Escalation in order of complexity from that point on would make far more sense.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:04 | 2114811 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

good point.  I'll send you the answer

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:09 | 2115197 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

No need to send an answer, rhetorical question...

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 02:27 | 2115642 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

Still, answer defines whether you understand what is happening or not. Corzine is not in jail for the same reason Kim Dotcom is: because Corzine's racket was authorized and Kim's wasn't. Letter of marque, if you got one, your theft is authorized and in fact honorable, if you don't, you end up in jail or worse.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:08 | 2114817 Lone Deranger
Lone Deranger's picture

Yes I too have wondered what the story has been with good ole' Jon...

Don't know whether the hand of God is in this, but looks like Corzine is putting his New Jersey penthouse up for sale for $2.9 million. 

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-01-31/corzine-s-penthouse-2-9-million-listing-marks-11-below-purchase-price.html

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:38 | 2114905 quartshort
quartshort's picture

The "slow-mo" get away?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:23 | 2114858 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Corzine is not in prison because he's ;

 

i. a Democrat (you 'half-own' with GOP all US Govt bodies inc regulatory afterall)

ii. from New Jersey and knows/lunches with all the Regulators, Judges and Politicos

iii. ex-Goldmans and knows too much about too many Senators insider trading deals

iv. didn't do anything wrong (ie. now the lawyer has told him what he must forget)

v. JP Morgan has even less title to hang onto stolen client money

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:55 | 2114958 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Especially agree with #5:  JP Morgan effectively stole billions during the last few days of Lehman collapse.  Just for laughs they pillaged MF Global as well.  After all, poking ex-Goldman CEO's is fun!  And it reminds Obama who really owns his ass.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 06:07 | 2115763 resurger
resurger's picture

I cant wait till BAC, JP , Goldman start raping each other

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:31 | 2115050 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Corzine is not in prison because he is a well connected democrat. The media being in O's back pocket simply will not raise the issue to the level it needs to be raised in order for Eric Holder to get off his butt. Does it surprise you because it certainly has not surprised anyone who understands the liberal mindset.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:18 | 2115570 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

so you're saying that if McCain and his faithful Alaskan had been at the helm, the MFG debacle would never have happened, or if it did Corzine would have been frog-marched around in the orange pajamas he in all likelihood so richly deserves?

Pull the other one..

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:17 | 2114665 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Elsewhere in news of great American stupidity (aka The Idiodyssey):

A San Francisco man was tasered for walking two small dogs without a leash:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2012/01/30/MN921N0LQT.DTL

A New Mexico man suspected of DUI was left in solitary confinement, without a trial, for 2 years.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/night-in-the-cells-acci...

(the happy ending: He sued, and won, 22 million dollars. But go to the link to see his before and after pics. The night he was arrested and released...it's a George Harrison like transformation.)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2114695 chubbar
chubbar's picture

The bad news is that the taxpayers of New Mexico are the ones paying that award and the fucking incompetent fools responsible are still employed, probably got a raise recently. Is anyone EVER held accountable in Gov't???

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:32 | 2114713 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

First rule of government advancement: You gotta fuck up to move up. If you aren't blackmailable, you aren't promotable.

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 01:48 | 2115603 silverbullion
silverbullion's picture

In a debt or fiat-based monetary system the minions of Satan never get held accountable.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:30 | 2114706 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

The reality is that for every guy who sues for 22 million, there are certainly many unreported or that don't get justice when the whole habeas corpus thing get's tossed.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:34 | 2114725 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Oh yeah. Been there.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:18 | 2114669 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

It's never too late...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:19 | 2114672 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I think verse seven of Psalm 138 best sums up the conversation between Ben and the Squid.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:21 | 2114678 Crumbles
Crumbles's picture

For everything there is a season, it appears.
Another sign of things to come ...
The Forth Turning is so upon us.
"Be Prepared"
Are there any real Eagles left out there???
WWW

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 21:13 | 2114684 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...the Mercy of our Father in Christ did. Lol. Hack attack of The Holy Spirit. Love it. 

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:26 | 2114688 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

Dutch pension fund ABP is suing US investment bank Goldman Sachs for knowingly selling the scheme junk mortgages and providing misleading information.

(January 30, 2012) -- Banking giant Goldman Sachs has been sued by Dutch pension fund ABP over residential mortgage-backed securities.

ABP has accused the bank of relaying misleading information in regards to the creditworthiness of its bonds, which ended up being much riskier than the bank had suggested, Reuters initially reported. As a result, the Dutch pension suffered major losses.

The case is Stichting Pensioenfonds ABP v. The Goldman Sachs Group, 650264/2012, New York state Supreme Court.

http://ai-cio.com/channel/REGULATION%2C_LEGAL/Goldman_Sachs_Faces_Dutch_Pension_Fund_Suit_Over_Risky_Mortgages.html

Maybe it wasnt God?

Maybe it was the Dutch? who are pissed off about the *"Shit" Goldman was selling.

*quoting Goldman RMBS salesmen, note the plural "Men".. as multiples of Goldman salesmen called the RMBS they were pushing.. "Shit"

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:34 | 2114724 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

After filing a suit against JP Morgan, Stichting Pensioenfonds ABP (ABP) has sued Credit Suisse as many of the scheme's once triple-A rated securities now carry junk grades.

http://ai-cio.com/channel/REGULATION,_LEGAL/Following_JPMorgan,_Dutch_Pension_ABP_Sues_Credit_Suisse_Over_Mortgage-Backed_Securities.html

 

Institutional investors have been active players in going after banks for allegedly misleading them about the quality of mortgage-based securities. In early January, Credit Suisse Group AG was sued by the $324 billion Dutch pension giant Stichting Pensioenfonds ABP. ABP has been aggressive in targeting banks over mortgage-backed securities it purchased during the financial crisis. In early December, the Netherlands-based pension fund sued JPMorgan Chase & Co. According to the lawsuit, filed in New York State Supreme Court in Manhattan, the Dutch fund purchased the pools of home loans based on false and misleading statements. The lawsuit noted that the mortgage loans backing the securities were taken out by borrowers "who were much less creditworthy than had been represented."

http://ai-cio.com/channel/REGULATION,_LEGAL/New_Financial_Crimes_Unit_to_Police_Banks_for_Faulty_Mortgages.html

 

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 22:00 | 2115130 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

 Goldman Sachs Memo to Chairsatan: Vaporized http://bible.cc/psalms/62-9.htm 

There is an income round that is about to strike, our target, zero.

Check that. sin tax error. There is an incoming round (BioPort) about to hit our office(s). We have mailed our own weapons grade anthrax from Ft Detrick and we have airline put options in place again.

...do what thou will, thus be the hole(lol) ...of the law and those with the anthrax vaccine but without the mercy of Christ.

        with love, Loyd.

P,S. We are joining the Carlyle Group's effort to repair the damage, to our (Washington/666) Monument, caused by (us? lol, how ironoc) the 2011 (financial/lol) earthquake.

               ...here's looking at QE too, Kid. Ha ha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjFDQJranVk                                                    remember FDIC

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 12:03 | 2116475 Archduke
Archduke's picture

it was God, of sorts.  well his fair do-gooder agents.  The Sisters of St Francis activist pension fund.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/business/sisters-of-st-francis-the-qui...

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2114692 EndTheMedia
EndTheMedia's picture

The fact is large corporations and centralized governments have a symbiotic relationship. It’s similar to the relationship between a parasite and its host. http://bit.ly/xyaZy6

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:27 | 2114697 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

I have thy nuts in my powerful hands.  If thou must deal with the devil's moneychangers. thou  shall feel my wrath.

All members of Congress, simultaneously;

"cough, cough"

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:43 | 2114758 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Coughing dicks. There's an image.

You said members, right?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:18 | 2114845 blu
blu's picture

Nice.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 20:50 | 2114936 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Turn your head and cough

Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:45 | 2116152 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Even Pelosi.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:30 | 2114703 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

If GS is doing God's work, the God has also been sent a boatload of digital zeros and is bought off. Now we're really screwed.

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