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Dimon To Ackerman: "We Don't Gamble. Gamblers Lose"
In a somewhat inspired line of questioning by Rep. Gary Ackerman on the differences between 'investing' and 'gambling', the JPMorgan CEO diligently notes that "on average Gamblers lose" implicitly stating, we assume, that 'investors on average win'. Ackerman interestingly takes up the common myth that banks (and Wall Street in general) were 'on the level' and 'facilitated investing' but to him the 'hedges' that JPM (among others) are placing are nothing but gambling as he correctly notes the dismal truth that banks are not in fact there for the common good in "helping jobs and being good for America". Betting against your initial bet suggests a lack of 'knowing what you are doing' is how Ackerman frames his concerns, and furthermore (as we pointed out), hedging against your hedge just makes the whole thing farcical as if "throwing darts at a dartboard" and in the process does not help the economy or create one job. The main thrust being that: if JPM is right a majority of the time it helps the company, but if they are wrong it puts systemically everything at risk - the public investing confidence in the system (an unhedgeable risk). Dimon's contrite response is: "We don't gamble; we do make mistakes."
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FU Jamie, you don't Gamble I call BULLSHIT
he's actually right, they don't gamble between them and goldman sachs they steer the ship so they know whats going to happen but they do hit icebergs,,,,,,i'm still not buying this trading loss, its suspicious at best, irrevelenant hence the dog and pony show to show the public they are coming down hard on the banks. The banksters leave after for their islands,,,,,
Germany to impose 100% tax for earnings over 40k euro. Taxes will be used to bail out german banks.
wer braucht schon Geld?
http://www.thelocal.de/politics/20120616-43191.html
They gamble and cheat with money pulled out of thin air and still manage to lose.
Cheating is the status quo at the house of morgan.
Their best "ISM" is assholyism.
"So if you don't mind me sayin'...
I can see you're out of aces...
For a taste of your whiskey...
I'll give you some advice..."
~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvjdxnaHPfk&feature=fvwrel
Hell yeah, gambling, sorry investing, is easy when you have 5 aces up your sleave, a marked deck and loaded dice that only you get to use. I wouldnt call that gambling either. More like a con job or fraud.
The women in my office still want to fuck Jamie's brains out every time they see him testify.
what a coincidence! i know a bullet with the same fantasy!
Front running the Fed and other Federal government signals/handshakes is not gambling...it's crony capitalism isn't it Jamie?
He doesn't gamble, he owns a casino.
Okay, fine Jamie. The guillotine isn't for the execution of the bankers, financial houses, and political puppets.
Gambling, unlike investing and finance, is a regulated industry. If you break the rules you go to jail.
Or gets thems some busted kneecaps.
Dimon does not gamble! This is insulting!! He insures!
Oh, wait, insurance is another industry that has standards and regulations that don't apply to our modern banks led by masters of the universe...
Meanwhile, huge piles of EUR shorts are keeping company to their golden and silver brethen in the hallowed electronic vaults of JPMorgan... but hey, MF Global had such a tasty carcass, it was worth it...
MS and JPM on opposite sides of the Euro short?
I'm kinda surprized that this whole "gambling" meme is even in play
Gambling is entertainment and does not pretend to be anything else. There is nothing wrong with it, people who lose money gambling at least had a good time, and even if not they cannot blame anyone but themselves for showing up at the tables.
When MF Global "looses" a few billion dollars "gambling" on market movements it's not even their own money, nobody knew what they were doing with other peoples' money, and the loses from their bad bets ultimately are paid by taxpayers.
We should leave the gambling out of it. Call it theft and see what happens.
it all depends on the company.
A famous man once said : If I had to choose between heaven and hell I would choose that other place, 'cos in heaven I'd be so bored amongst all those virtuous people, I'd far prefer the company in the other place, inspite of the heat!
Jamie tells a half truth........"gamblers lose"
One cannot lose with the implicit backstopping of the full faith and credit of the tax mule.
They always win because the fed is their beotch. end the fed.
The fed sez: slap me on the ass and call me sally!
Jamie Dimon quote on the CNBC homepage:
"Most important thing to me is USA"
First off, bullshit its his next fucking bonus
2ndly this is clear CNBS propaganda to me, there were at least a 100 better videos from today's hearing that should've made it to the homepage especially the one Tyler just poster
FUCK 'EM
Hey Jamie, deuchbags lose too, you fucking loser motherfucker
You seem to have something against the gentleman...
He actually cant lose when the fed and the govt continues to pump bailouts into the system. but in the end they are all losers
Ackerman seems like he actually had a clue. Too bad it's nothing more than barking for the mic.
I was really hoping he was going to go somewhere else with the farm animal comment......damn. If he is going to grand stand, he sould at least do it right.
Jamie needs a hemp necktie
How about a Mexican necktie...
We don't gamble, we fix...
A lie, although contrite and possibly delusional, is still a lie. Shame on the politicians for letting him get away with it.
Ackerman is going to get his bribe docked by Jamie for this BS
If you took away their ability to get inside information then Coco the monkey could produce as good of a return on the money invested as they do. The only way it's not gambling is if they are cheating the house.
Is Coco a hedge fund manager?
Yes, in this banana republic.
Did you say 'bananas'? Right, that's why I live here...
I think whoever Jamie talks to should have someone behind him pissing down his neck, just so he KNOWS it's not raining.
Privatize the profits, socialize the losses.
It's nothing at all like gambling. But it isn't anything like investing either.
It's called orchestrated theft and Congress and the corporations are in it together up to their eyeballs.
bottom left might be the bernank in drag.
do you feel tyler's thrust here is that jamie and the morgue might be fat-tailed, politically?
You forgot to get Blythe in there. She'd bite it off.
mary schapiro too.
Blythe, top left
Is that Blythe? Damn that's one fugly beotch
Willie B, You are The fucking master (Beta)
It's all in the fonts ;-)
DP Financing.
Bill Banzai - has he hedged his Dong position?
; )
(I sure hope so, because I hate to think of the alternative!)
dongs are used for ping pong in guan-dong. Its worse in Dongwonnapateu, where its a dog delicacy. Awesome what uses one can find for a dong thats lost its bonging piano maestro ability, to hit the keys in hungarian rhapsody. That you can just tell by the look in their hooded eyes, master at work.
But this takes the cake : "We make CDS for the benefit of veterans, retirees, orphans and widows". Incredible!
He could have added, "I would love to go to heaven for the climate but to hell for the company." At least that sounds credible, like Madoff!
Time for Wapner...
This is like that scene in 'Casino' when they find out the guy is cheating and take him to the back room. Except when they take Jamie they all have a few drinks and share the winnings, while they watch and laugh as the goons crush the skulls of some poor sap they grabbed off the street.
Tomorrow when the fed announces nothing but instead says loudly that they stand at th ready to do QE3 via twist, lsap etc. etc....will it be enough to keep markets levitated?
I think the Bilderbergers chose Rombot and Berstupid is going to throw Oboner under the bus and not even hint at QE.
Operation Twist should have been called operation Fist, as in getting ass fisted.
nice. I can go along with that
ohhhh, to see them fall,,,,,ohhhhhh...................
No shit!!!!!
Love,
Blythe
Gamblers don't have a put option of unlimited size like the TBTF banks do.
It's not gambling if the Fed has your back, it's a no-lose proposition.
Of course gamblers lose. That's why Dimon has to use fraud.
His questioning was too good and must have hit a sore spot because CNBC cut him off early.
I saw that. His questioning was the best of the day.
no jamie does'nt gamble,he just speculates he will win. same thing only different, right?
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling? Yes No
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy? Yes No
3. Did gambling affect your reputation? Yes No
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling? Yes No
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties? Yes No
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency? Yes No
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses? Yes No
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more? Yes No
9. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling? Yes No
10. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling? Yes No
11. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your COUNTRY? Yes No
12. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned? Yes No
I think Dimon would look great in an orange jumpsuit orswinging by the neck from a rope under a nice oak tree. Gosh that's bucolic. I love the country.
why choose? You can even get an orange rope to match.
Sounds good to me. I think I'd like a martini for the show
All we do is talk in this fucked up country. Somebody needs to bitch slap that little prick
Dear Mr. Dimon, Is Your Bank Getting Corporate Welfare?
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-18/dear-mr-dimon-is-your-bank-getting-corporate-welfare-.html
What he said: "We do make mistakes."
What he thought: We hedged your bet in order to save it. Or some such gobbeldygook. Now fuck off and bring me some clean water in a clean glass, not this shit. Muppet senators. Fake ass Representatives. Don't we pay enough to get rid of them? Crap.
That's pretty good. But Dimon is one of those kind of guys who is totally unaware that anyone but himself is in the room -- especially if there is a mirror anywhere nearby-- so what he probably was thinking most of the time was:
"I bet I look great on camera in this suit. Hey video guy put the camera back on me, this suit makes me look like .... wait a second who are these stupid fucks and why are they talking? Camera me not them. I bet I look great in this suit ..."
of course its not gambling when you can always double down on losing positions with infinite amounts of free money. its also not gambling when you colo your servers under the dealer's right hand.
The Feds spend 8 weeks on a trial for Rodger Clemens yet spend a couple of hours putting Jamie in front of imbeciles. If that doesn't say it ALL....
If it weren't for the Fed, Dimon would be a Ferrari salesman in Palm Beach.
More like a Dodge salesman selling Darts
Dimon could be a part of the plunge protection team? Genius Of The PPT: http://www.traddr.com/video/genius-of-the-ppt-key-pivot-in-play-as-markets-await-fed
Dimon To Ackerman: "We Don't Gamble. Gamblers Lose"
Moral of the story : in our game the roulette wheel is controlled; we NEVER lose, we got friends....
That's the capital markets for you! Freeeeeeeeeee...for the Oligarchs, and in spite of that they StILL lose, aka the whale!
Now thats really awesome...
Game, set, match.
...And, Representative Ackerman moves on to the semi-finals, while Mr. Dimon goes home.
Is he implying that he is the house?
Yup. Although he didn 't mean to. The dumass.
In real terms, not nominal, most investors in the stock market lose money after taxes and fees.
They buy at the wrong time, hold losers too long, trade too much, and generally make mistakes.
The price-only (ex dividends) inflation-adjusted index returns for the last 80 years are only a mediocre 1.4%. Make a few mistakes and you lose.
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article9861.html
Gold never goes to zero bitchez!!
...meanwhile, backstage at the Philanthropic Follies Broadway Muppets Show...
(White, Black, Muslim. Bride of Christ is a Drag Queen Mark of the Beast Bitchez Sealed In The Black Hole)
...House, down in the basement
(in front of ''Benny'' Latrobe)
without an assassinated man's Bible,
''inside'' FDR's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l29qd1Cguqk&feature=relmfu
War Room,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq_PzWzC7rA
...there could be heard a heard
a
Rahm Co. Company
of
Chicargo Bath Salt Day Traders
(Legislators)
...eating the Facebook Shorts off a teenage Page
(seen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oSq94m_LzM)
...named Jesus(Spanish)
Wormwood--> http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/Obamaatth <--POTUS Picasso Prophetic Strong Delusion
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9343049/Debt-crisis-Spain-and-Italy-to-be-bailed-out-in-600bn-deal.html
trying to work for ''her'' freedom
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%2017:%204&version=KJV
(according to Tiny Turbo Timmay's Benny and the 911 Jets Novus Ordo Seclorum)
in the Press Room
...with another male escort
with
a Press Pass,
and
a Scott Trade Account
#666ADDdebt
economic boom http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uHcwBI8K0Y pop goes the Weasel
________$$$$___ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqGXM23WUbs black hole________.
http://bible.cc/revelation/16-12.htm
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Thessalonians+2%3A8-14&version=KJV
At least this whole thing is exposing what a fucking idiot this guy turns out to be.
"Triple 7's! C'mon triple 7's!"
LMAO Eb. +2012. Way to flow with the Fight Club Guyana Punch ...bitchez. Lol.
7% x 3(Hal 2012 Algo Nova) Spanish Bombs/Clash= Jack Pot
AKA
Black Hole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8lsvefkvGM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-t52zc8Ex4&feature=related
Dimon isn't gambling, in the sense it isn't his money or risk.
We are gambling by letting Dimon do it.
Dimon is laughing in this guy's face telling him he is gambling by letting JPM continue to heap their risk on the system. Of course JPM isn't gambling. Gamblers don't free money bailouts.
...imagine that, the Muppet World of Dimon, sucking on the beast tit. LMAO. ...so that's Lloyd's masonic (g)ods work. Blaa haa haa haa...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJs9MOUNVwU
Actually I would have preferred the answer "yes it was a bet that went wrong".
Why?
Cause if they were only hedging I would fire all people involved for having no clue of hedging strategies!
Degenerates do not care about moral hazards
Portions of todays broadcast were previously recorded.
It aint gamblin when jamies playin. That 2B$ loss was an intentional bluff just so you effin fish cant figure out which way that sly fox is goin next. Verrry clever. Thats why the man is a playa and you all is just played. Suckers.
oh Jamie .... something tells me that the twin towers of toxic derivatives are about to "El Kabong" you right in the reality.
we'll find out just what you were gamlbing with in the rubble of JPM.
It's not gambling if the game is rigged.
Couldn't resist : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiTessy8Ods