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Douglas Adams Explains The Innate Fascination With Towels
Earlier today, we presented a clip that showed how civilized Americans at a Wal Mart approach the opportunity to save a buck on a towel. Some may have been surprised by the raw and concentrated ambition and fury exhibited by these specimen who would put any rioter in Athens' Syntagma square to shame. Luckily, we have Douglas Adams of the Hitchhiker's Guide fame to explain the implicit fascination with "the towel." After all, when given the opportunity to face the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal with a cheaper than market price self-defense mechanism, who can possibly say no?
And for those who missed it the first time...
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We need towels, to wipe up the blood from the towel sales.
Order, people!
Keep them tidy keep them humble
Towels and thumbdrives is how I'm starting my plan for world domination.
ALL YOUR TOWELS ARE BELONG TO US! HA HA HA HA HA!
Unlike the digital watch, the towel is a timeless accessory to fortune and great adventure.
http://itotd.com/articles/297/revenge-of-the-analog-clock/
Always know where your towel is,
and two heads are better than one.
I blame it all on the Towlieban
good lord that was a stinker. +1
Your a Towel!
"That's my last jay, asshole!"
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/152908/riding-towelie
wanna get high???...
Lord of the Rings, The Two Towels.
Possibly it was the background music in the store that got them fired up...I thought i heard John Linen.
Yeah, but you can't eat towels.
/sarc off
As for evidence why I own a Glock 40 with a lot of ammunition, I submit video number two, respectfully, for your honors.
My lords, tell me, are you not merciful?
+1 for a caliber that starts with '4.'
Just be careful out there (or use a freaking holster please).
http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/state-news/2011/nov/18/tdmet02-man-whose-gun-discharged-killing-him-had-c-ar-1467500/
If you liked that story, you'll LOVE this video, and this guy does indeed have a holser:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2bd_1309966583
http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/uncensored---extended-interview---i-just-shot-myself
That reminds me of this timeless gem: DEA Agent Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Foot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP6UvNgbqIA&feature=related
Indeed, this unfortunate chap would require the services of said towel after shooting himself to stem the flow of jam. Yet another invaluable use for the towel.
I like to wrap silver maples in my towel before putting them in plastic tubes under the soil as recommended by friends on ZH. Again, towel efficiency.
Another use for the towel is as a vehicle of submission, like when Merkil finally throws in the German towel to the ECB Printing ring instead of laying her towel on the Greek beaches. Again, an effective use.
One fine use for a towel would be as a weapon of death used to string up some of these pricks trying to run the country.
It's really not funny...but I just can't stop laughing.
We'll see him win a Darwin soon enough.
no,no,no,......G17...... 9mm is lighter so you can carry more....and a head shot is a head shot....!
What? Are you a towel who feels threatened by the consumer rabble? Maybe you have towel friends who's safety you worry about? Or is the Glock to make sure that you get a towel if you ever find yourself competing for scarce cheap resources? Or maybe you just have a gun fetish? I don't get it...
"Spanky Yankies NEED a wanking towe"l, says Towlie.
This terrible towel incident brings new meaning to the term "Terrible Towel".
My apologies to all Pittsburg Steelers fans for dragging you into this insanity. May you enjoy Ben in peace. :>)
http://www.steelers.com/history/terrible-towel.html
Don't you believe in Karma? Dangerous ground Cog...
When baby back Ben finally learns how to leave the collapsing pocket before it collapses I'll work on my Karma. On the other hand Ben seems to enjoy inflicting heart attacks on his fans so whom am I to complain? And they are winning, which is another plus for Beefy Ben McRib.
http://www.nfl.com/standings
cd - i'm really surprised you would be a little ben backer after what was clearly his so many unwanted transgressions against the fairer sex. he would be in prison if he wasn't white and rich. many times over.
fran tarkenton, bitchez!
Well CD I gave you my first down arrow ever. Associating the Steelers with those savages.
I bad. I very very bad. :>)
After all, the Steelers are professionals. Besides, you can't fight in the war room or on the field of play.
I can make fun of my Tom Terrific (Patriots) as well. I just wish he hadn't cut his golden locks. I simply don't care if he had split (tight) ends. It's a bad omen for the season. :>)
Someone should let them know the first time they wash those towels they will fall apart.
but...but they are a $1.28 and worth every stitch received in emergency. After the hospital visit that should bring the cost per towel to $500 a piece if I buy ten of them.
Now does a $500 dollar towel sound like it would fall to pieces? No way man...towel for life! Word!
Peace out.
Mos Def!!!
NTS: purchase many towels.
Hyperspace bypass desperately needed.
HOLY CRAP!! TOWELS FOR 1.29?!?!?!?! CANT BE!!!!
Yep you better hurry before they're ALL GONE!!
It will be easy to round up the phone sterilizers and such when the time comes. Just announce a blowout sale aboard the spaceship gtfo of here right before launch.
Who knew Americans were such Hoopy Froods?
I want DON'T PANIC embossed on my towel in BIG FRIENDLY letters, since I cannot seem to find a recent copy of the Galactic Best Seller - The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
thats a great idea, ill buy one when you have set up your factory. as long as its us made
Love me some DA on ZH, shame the original book text wasn't included but fair none the less.
where egyptian cotton is involved, tanks & RPGs are de rigueur!
Now me, I would've never guessed that towels would be a shopping list item, let alone a Black Friday item.
So, I guess the plan went something like this.
Clerk: "Hey boss, the center isle displays are starting to disappear, even non-gift items."
Boss: "Hmm... We already moved our extra products an hour ago. Hey, do we still have that pallet of towels that we couldn't sell for $1.33?"
Clerk: "Sure, they're right over there."
Boss: "Mark the box $1.28, and set it out."
"Cleanup on Aisle 5...No need to bring a mop or towels"
Do you wanna get high?
Don't forget to bring a towel.
Yeah, but these days you really need a pair of Jo-Janta 2000 peril sensitive sunglasses.
I almost went there.
if you girlfriend doesnt swallow, then get the towel
Seamen and towels have natural affinity. I prefer disposable.
So Xboxes are free but you have to pay for towels.
Looks like we have some hitchkickers. I wonder if they like poetry?
Isn't that same transmission method we used to killed the Indians? I wonder if they were that excited to get free Army blankets.
Just the same type of people that bring you this:
http://utopic.me/page/107018813_C/tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/unc...
Now you know why they needed to riot for all those towels
Where are the storm troopers? I would expect that they would be there to pepper spray the crowd.
They were busy emptying out the 0.99 towels.
Really scary. Makes you wonder what would happen if the Stores were running out of Food.
This is the reason if everything fails the best thing to have is protection and plenty of ammunition.
they weren't fighting over towels. they were fighting over trolls.
i know that somehow this is tied to Towlie the dope smoking towel on South Park. everytime Towlie makes an appearance the CIA gets in on the action.
42!
Towels...
42 that's the answer!... is it the price?
Caliber starting with a .4 just means you get spendy when you feed it. But then again I love caliber wars, people get downright defensive and downright kool-aidy when talking how their .45 makes people die just by being mentioned with a stern look.
That and how a drugged out meth-head with a bad attitude will merely laugh if you shoot him with a 9mm even if you use all the ammunition in all the magazines you have.
Wait...wait...wait...wait...wait, did anyone else get this video in the previews after watching the Wal-massacre? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=T-FjdzdrAsE#!
My towel has 42 embroidered on it.
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster anyone?
Dollar Towels....
Also known as, Pricier Toilet Paper when your disposable, flushable models run out, and you're also out of Sears catalogs, newspapers, and FRN's...
In the UK, they would all have been arrested (for rioting) and jailed for 90 days -even if they went to the tills and paid for them sorry-ass goods.
Towels are the molotov cocktail best freind
If that is not staged then I give up.
In what is perhaps a related news item, Homeland Security has just announced a six month ban on Toga Parties at all American universities until the problem of Peak Towel is better addressed.
In the same vein, Douglas Adams was really writing about the OWS folks in the chapters about the Golgafrincham Ark B.
Look it up.
Tyler, you frood! lol oh, yeah, and ELECT RON PAUL nice rp article., keep pushing him, guys like you and him our only hope! "You can do it!"
This is just silly. I'm GIVING AWAY FACEHUGGERS next week---NOW that's bullish for 10 millimeter caseless, running shoes, gauze, pulserifles,AND body armor. SEE? THAT's how you stimulate the economy-Place the average citizen in a fight-or-get-impregnaated-by-hungry- damn-near-unstoppable killing-machines-scenario-and all else becomes SECONDARY. Economic STIMULUS? I DARESAY.Fucking amateurs.They'll need towels just to mop up the blood. and again, BULLISH for LYSOL. this is how you get to head an ORBITAL interstellar conglomerate;
Watch and learn.