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Dow Jones 13,000 Crossed 52 Times in Past 3 Days, Wreaks Havoc With Retirement Plans Of Trader Community

Tyler Durden's picture


Since the amount of coverage the Dow 13,000 has received on CNBC indicates that it is clearly the indicator for half of the actively trading population in America to hang its hat and retire, we can only commiserate with the retirement planners of America who have had to do only to undo retirement plans for all of 7 people give or take (as we said, half the entire active trading population of America, although we should clarify of the carbon-based variety) a whopping 52 times. Yup: that is the amount of times the 13,000 barrier has been crossed, and uncrossed in the past 3 days alone. We fail to recall any other Dow milestone that has been proven such a technical problem for the market to succumb. And that it closed below it after the second LTRO, and after today's Bernanke testimony is certainly not a good sign. On the other hand, all those people who are going bald from putting on and taking off the 13K hat, can finally take a break.


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Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:29 | 2210088 achmachat
achmachat's picture

mom?! somebody broke my market!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:33 | 2210099 flacon
flacon's picture

13,000 is in what units? OHHHhhh it's in DOLLARS. Change the scale by cheapening the dollar and we can make it appear that the stock market is growing... 


I bought a tape measure that has units that change how ever I want them to. I'm selling it for $15 trillion dollars. I called it the "Federal Reserve Tape Measure".



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:37 | 2210104 bdc63
bdc63's picture

flacon: If you can make a bathroom scale that does that, you'll sell millions!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:26 | 2210271 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I'd use mine to mess with my wife.........For weeks at a time she thinks she's losing weight....then she gains thirteen fucking pounds in a matter of days, ha, ha, ha. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.........

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:45 | 2210459 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

The historical pattern is I've been long explaining:

God have mercy...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:38 | 2210118 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

and put pre-split C, AIG, and GM back in just for fun...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:34 | 2210100 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"Mom?! Somebody broke my market"

I think it was that smelly kid named "Ben" ...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:52 | 2210130 Manthong
Manthong's picture

baburu keiki.. Japanese for "bubble economy"

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:31 | 2210095 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

Bob Pissani @ 3PM "I'd rather have a stronger economy and no QE3" may have top ticked this bullshit rally 

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:35 | 2210107 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

"I'd rather have a stronger economy and no QE3"


And I'd rather retire to a California beach and drink out of a coconut served to me by Ms. USA.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:37 | 2210116 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Can you get another spot for me please?  I'm house-broken.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:07 | 2210208 knukles
knukles's picture

Who's Bob?
Who cares what Bob thinks?
Why the fuck are you watching that shit, anyhow?
Try someting intelligent, like Jersey Shore.

Fuck Bob.

Bob, go do something constructive; go punch Whitney

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:13 | 2210230 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

My advice?

Never take advice from someone whose last name sounds remotely like "piss on me".



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:35 | 2210258 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

As an aside, isn't Pissani's old man a big real estate developer in 'Joisey ?

In terms of constructive market "commentary," Sonny cannot find his ass with both hands.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:45 | 2210146 surf0766
surf0766's picture

He would not know a strong economy if it jumped up and bit him on the ass..

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:58 | 2210188 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

seriously would anyone follow Bob Pissonme

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:36 | 2210098 non_anon
non_anon's picture

ha ha, I remember in 1997 or 8, the big thing was DOW 7000

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:16 | 2210241 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I assume this chart is accurate ...

Lets party like its '66!

45 years, down the shitter ...



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:33 | 2210102 Doctor Doom
Doctor Doom's picture

This time is different

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:36 | 2210110 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

New game!

Every time it passes 13000 take a shot.  Every time it goes below 13000 smoke a bowl.

I have a feeling I'm going to be very F*&'ed up by Friday close of Market...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:39 | 2210119 bdc63
bdc63's picture

ya think?  i'm betting it's all down hill from here .... I don't think 13K is even in the cards again until Ben comes out and says "just kidding - of course I'm going to give you your QE3"

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:58 | 2210184 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Better smoke first.

Many a frat boy has blown his chunks doing bong hits on a belly full of Jager.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:10 | 2210223 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

LP - you must have been watching me during my 1st couple of semesters.

ZHers, take heed, above is some of the best advice EVAR on ZH!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:12 | 2210228 Osmium
Osmium's picture

Many non frat boys as well.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:03 | 2210203 non_anon
non_anon's picture

ha ha, I'm in

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:33 | 2210295 Jena
Jena's picture

You're a wild thing, JPM!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:23 | 2210415 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I can +1 that.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:36 | 2210112 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Well Tyler, at least you didn't post the "DOW 13000" hats every time it went above 13000 over the past few days! :p

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:50 | 2210161 drink or die
drink or die's picture

It gets even more interesting at 14K, because it changes from a hat to a gimp mask.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:24 | 2210265 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

My mask is far more chic.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:37 | 2210113 AladdinSaneGirl
AladdinSaneGirl's picture

The maschines are rattling! Sit tight ppl :

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:39 | 2210123 perelmanfan
perelmanfan's picture

I like doom porn as much as anyone else. But the folks at the Daily Reckoning have an interesting perspective:

Fact is, because we've been on this continent in large numbers only 500 years instead of millennia, we have not managed to entirely use up/fuck up our natural resources yet. This gives the U.S. a large and entirely dumbshit-pure-luck advantage in surviving the coming shitstorm. On the flip side, we're much softer and lazier people than those in most of the rest of the world. Bottom line is you can't write off the U.S. until you factor in stuff like this.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:50 | 2210154 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

The problem is mostly social, not physical. America has become one of the most dysfunctional societies in centuaries and the rest of the world is right behind us.

Hell, we could acquire more resources off-world if we had a functional society.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:58 | 2210160 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Perelmanfan:  I have a background in manufacturing and I can tell this is going to be MUCH harded then it appears.  For one, we have absolutely stopped developing manufacturing talent in this country -- NOBODY goes to school for industrial or manufacturing engineering anymore.  Secondly, companies that went through big outsourcing to China efforts probaby shipped all of their tooling/molds over there as well ... that stuff is NEVER coming back (actually, the contracts we signed with China guarentee it - its never leaving the country).  Not to mention that once we outsourced our manufacturing to China, we developed a Chinese supply base to support it ... which ended up putting most of our US suppliers out of business ...

HUGE can of worms here.  It could take us, realistically, a couple of decades to get back to where we were in this country from a manufacturing perpective.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:10 | 2210213 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Manufacturing and working is not part of our culture anymore. We have become a state run welfare nanny state of gimme, gimme, gimme.

Those jobs are NEVER coming back. Not in my lifetime at least.

It's the mentality of our country - fat slobs watching snooki on UE and food stamps.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:00 | 2210368 adr
adr's picture

Not only have we stopped teaching the skills. There isn't anyone left that could even figure out a new machine from Germany or China. It is one thing to know how to use a break, or lathe from 1952. It's a whole other thing to figure out how to program a new computerized milling machine when every word printed on it is in another language.

A packaging plant I use just bought a new machine from Germany to run folding boxes. They needed Germans to come here and install it and another German is staying for two months to teach everyone how to use it. If something breaks, yep they need to call a German to fly over and fix it.

Try, just try to get a plastic part made in the USA today to replace a part from China. You almost can't get it done. Need something cast metal, almost nobody left because of environmental regs.

You might find one or two plants in the USA to fit your needs but the machines will be out of date and the price will be terrible. You'll probably need to pay for mold costs as well. One search on Alibaba and you'll find 3000 places to get the part, and all of them will have an English speaking person to talk to. Manufacturing in the USA is a joke. Take away autos and big ticket items and there is nothing left. There are some places just hanging on. Getting a $3000 order is enough to goose the area PMI by 10%.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:26 | 2211098 Andre
Andre's picture


"Take away autos and big ticket items and there is nothing left. There are some places just hanging on. Getting a $3000 order is enough to goose the area PMI by 10%."

Mostly true, but not entirely. I worked as a maintenance engineer until 2008 in plants making carpet pad, copper tube products (e.g., radiators), foam and tape products, and sheet metal HVAC products. I would take 1970-1980 era machinery and completely redesign the controls. New wiring, PLC, HMI (English and Spanish capable), safety, networking, motors and controls - but almost EVERYTHING I used came from Japan. Allen-Bradley is WAY overpriced, Siemens and Omron not much better.

Can't do that now. Working for a plant is one thing. Insurance at this point is ridiculous.

One big problem, the manufacturing equipment manufacturers do not understand software. Makes it hard to create modern tools.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:40 | 2210129 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Tyler, you still don't get it. This is to make sure that everyone has a chance to see the headline "Dow above 1300 since the financial crisis".

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:44 | 2210140 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

Glad to see we are finally getting a correction.  This is a good thing IMO.  Market needed to have a sale.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:44 | 2210141 Eisenhorn
Eisenhorn's picture

In other news worth repeating:


So if THESE people are canceling vacations and clipping does that help the recovery Mr. Benny????



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:34 | 2210583 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Those suffering douche bags. May all of those banksters rot in hell!!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:53 | 2210169 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

13,000 is meaningless (as is 13,001 and 12,999).  Just because some on CNBC are enamored, does not give it credence.  Must be slow news day.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:56 | 2210182 bdc63
bdc63's picture

I'm pretty sure at this point they wish they hadn't given it so much attention ...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:59 | 2210178 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

City of London and NYC real estate bubbles have met their pin perhaps.

HK, Vancouver and Sydney are already falling.  The psychology is now very negative for RE....Ex, over 75% of HK'ers and Sydneyites think RE will fall this year.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:57 | 2210183 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

this is just campaign garbage for the Obozo admin. Jimmy Rogers called it right- expect a lot of good news, it's an election year. 

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 18:58 | 2210191 bdc63
bdc63's picture

yeah, but 'good news' and 'QE3' are like oil & water.  uncle benny better get his tap shoes out ...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:07 | 2210212 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

They always used to advise people to stay in the game, it will come back up sooner or later, so some people did.

Then Lehman, Indy Mac, Fannie, Freddie, AIG, GM, Chrysler and a few others all considered blue chip and good as gold retirement investments went broke and their stock certificates considered to be good only for kindling.

I look at the DOW and Nasdaq and see them approaching the levels that they achieved before the .dot com bust, how many years was that ago?  Over a decade.

This hold business really doesn't apply anymore does it?  For indexes to not reach positions they achieved in over ten years, with most of the predominant members back then no longer around and new companies trying to fill in the gaps using inflation to even the past's score, it isn't anything to write home to mama about.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:49 | 2210466 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Yeah it comes back....   in dollars that buy fewer and fewer micro gallons of gasoline for the car that cost more than your first two houses combined.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:12 | 2210227 Rynak
Rynak's picture

*shake* *shake* *shake* "Get out of my market already you stupid investors. Don't you realize that who panics first, panics best? I need an emergency, damnit!"

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:17 | 2210234 Robslob
Robslob's picture

I prefer the take a shot smoke a bowl perspective stated earlier.

Change I can actually believe in....

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:16 | 2210237 devo
devo's picture

You actually don't go bald from wearing a hat.

Though, I suppose it could pull some roots when taking it off.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:18 | 2210245 Paul Thomason
Paul Thomason's picture

Hmmm 13,000 - Looks like a top is nearby, read this weird astrological article 'The Jupiter Cycle: Predicting Major Stock Market Reversals'

It's in the stars!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:21 | 2210252 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Well, I still have my DOW 10,000 hat. I know I will be needing it again. Just got that feeling.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:33 | 2210298 dime2962
dime2962's picture

my barber isn't very happy about this bullshit

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:43 | 2210319 non_anon
non_anon's picture

DOW 40,000

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:48 | 2210333 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Well, Bernanke thinks he saved everyone from financial collapse.  He seems to think that rescuing the Stock Market saved the pensions and retirement income of all of the people. The only people that he saved from financial collapse was the Bankers and Wall Street Traders. 

He failed to see that the pensioners will spend every dollar that he saved in higher heating oil prices, higher gasoline, higher food costs.  Lower interest on invested income in the Banks, CD's.  Even money in the mattress looks good as you do not lose principal.

All of this with a few Trillion Dollars thrown at the Market that will have to be paid off for 3 generations.

Bernanke is a super smart Man but as is the case in may smart talented people he has NO common sense.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 19:56 | 2210351 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

If you notice crashes are getting closer and closer together.  We had the 2000 Nasdaq crash, the 911 crash, the 2008 crash, the housing crash, the flash crash.  I think we are due again for a crash.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:04 | 2210372 adr
adr's picture

Crashes only seem to be getting closer. In HFT time we are already in the year 29,000. Average 40 year economic cycles are still happening, just to us in our time perspective it seems faster. Today alone may have already seen two or three centuries of trading.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:10 | 2211132 chump666
chump666's picture

March is a selling mth as is April.  CB's and Governments will try and juice markets with more of their bullsh*t.  But technically, the market is breaking down.   China PMI fudge came out and somewhat supported the market.  But gold, jeez that is worry.  Either get a deflation wipe-out, oil tanks too, then the CB's come in mid yr and print.  Hard to say.  Iran could go hot very soon.  China goes into an economic crash...there are so many events creeping up.

But yeah a HFT inspired flash crash (big one) is due.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:08 | 2210381 adr
adr's picture

If we get another crash and Apple takes out the Nasdaq i'm trademarking iCrash and printing millions of t-shirts.....

or iFucked


or iGot Jobbed

or iBroke



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:21 | 2210411 Billy Shears
Billy Shears's picture

I never put on that hat and went bald anyway...WTF.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:25 | 2210417 divedivedive
divedivedive's picture

Hmm - that chart looks somewhat like late April / early May 2010 when the Dow was at 11,000. (Ooops).

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:44 | 2210457 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

I'll see your cross and raise you 3 crosses....  and call divergence on the small caps, transports and materials.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 20:43 | 2210454 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

DOW 13k is like trying to convince my wife to swallow.  Oh well, there are plenty of young girls in the US that need $. LOL. I have never gone that route and the situation is really sad.......there's a smaller city going to hell not far from here. Walmarts right in the middle of it of course, not uncommon to see high school age appearing girls dragging 2 or 3 kids around. Fucking pathetic. No future whatsoever.  All in the name of the allmight dollar.  The motherfuckers in power all need to be loaded into a giant spaceship and shot straight into the fucking sun.  Of course where your tin foil hats and shields that day because that amount of methane coming into contact with the sun could surely be an extinction event.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:19 | 2210543 gekkobear
gekkobear's picture

anyone have an opinion on $EDZ long?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:19 | 2210544 gekkobear
gekkobear's picture

anyone have an opinion on $EDZ long?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:36 | 2210586 andyupnorth
andyupnorth's picture

The last time the USD/CAD was in a tight parity range, the markets fell by 60%.

My heart is hoping it'll happen again.

But my brain is telling me that it may be more like a long slow grind for the next 5 years.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 05:20 | 2211668 cnhedge
Thu, 03/01/2012 - 08:48 | 2211865 covert
covert's picture

gold in the ground is the only way to retire.


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