Dow Jones 13,000 Crossed 52 Times in Past 3 Days, Wreaks Havoc With Retirement Plans Of Trader Community

Tyler Durden's picture

Since the amount of coverage the Dow 13,000 has received on CNBC indicates that it is clearly the indicator for half of the actively trading population in America to hang its hat and retire, we can only commiserate with the retirement planners of America who have had to do only to undo retirement plans for all of 7 people give or take (as we said, half the entire active trading population of America, although we should clarify of the carbon-based variety) a whopping 52 times. Yup: that is the amount of times the 13,000 barrier has been crossed, and uncrossed in the past 3 days alone. We fail to recall any other Dow milestone that has been proven such a technical problem for the market to succumb. And that it closed below it after the second LTRO, and after today's Bernanke testimony is certainly not a good sign. On the other hand, all those people who are going bald from putting on and taking off the 13K hat, can finally take a break.

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achmachat's picture

mom?! somebody broke my market!

flacon's picture

13,000 is in what units? OHHHhhh it's in DOLLARS. Change the scale by cheapening the dollar and we can make it appear that the stock market is growing... 


I bought a tape measure that has units that change how ever I want them to. I'm selling it for $15 trillion dollars. I called it the "Federal Reserve Tape Measure".



bdc63's picture

flacon: If you can make a bathroom scale that does that, you'll sell millions!

A Lunatic's picture

I'd use mine to mess with my wife.........For weeks at a time she thinks she's losing weight....then she gains thirteen fucking pounds in a matter of days, ha, ha, ha. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.........

Spirit Of Truth's picture

The historical pattern is I've been long explaining:

God have mercy...

Squid Vicious's picture

and put pre-split C, AIG, and GM back in just for fun...

bdc63's picture

"Mom?! Somebody broke my market"

I think it was that smelly kid named "Ben" ...

Squid Vicious's picture

Bob Pissani @ 3PM "I'd rather have a stronger economy and no QE3" may have top ticked this bullshit rally 

taniquetil's picture

"I'd rather have a stronger economy and no QE3"


And I'd rather retire to a California beach and drink out of a coconut served to me by Ms. USA.

JPM Hater001's picture

Can you get another spot for me please?  I'm house-broken.

knukles's picture

Who's Bob?
Who cares what Bob thinks?
Why the fuck are you watching that shit, anyhow?
Try someting intelligent, like Jersey Shore.

Fuck Bob.

Bob, go do something constructive; go punch Whitney

CrazyCooter's picture

My advice?

Never take advice from someone whose last name sounds remotely like "piss on me".



Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

As an aside, isn't Pissani's old man a big real estate developer in 'Joisey ?

In terms of constructive market "commentary," Sonny cannot find his ass with both hands.

surf0766's picture

He would not know a strong economy if it jumped up and bit him on the ass..

azzhatter's picture

seriously would anyone follow Bob Pissonme

non_anon's picture

ha ha, I remember in 1997 or 8, the big thing was DOW 7000

CrazyCooter's picture

I assume this chart is accurate ...

Lets party like its '66!

45 years, down the shitter ...



Doctor Doom's picture

This time is different

JPM Hater001's picture

New game!

Every time it passes 13000 take a shot.  Every time it goes below 13000 smoke a bowl.

I have a feeling I'm going to be very F*&'ed up by Friday close of Market...

bdc63's picture

ya think?  i'm betting it's all down hill from here .... I don't think 13K is even in the cards again until Ben comes out and says "just kidding - of course I'm going to give you your QE3"

LowProfile's picture

Better smoke first.

Many a frat boy has blown his chunks doing bong hits on a belly full of Jager.

Dr.Vannostrand's picture

LP - you must have been watching me during my 1st couple of semesters.

ZHers, take heed, above is some of the best advice EVAR on ZH!

Osmium's picture

Many non frat boys as well.

Jena's picture

You're a wild thing, JPM!

TheGoodDoctor's picture

Well Tyler, at least you didn't post the "DOW 13000" hats every time it went above 13000 over the past few days! :p

drink or die's picture

It gets even more interesting at 14K, because it changes from a hat to a gimp mask.

AladdinSaneGirl's picture

The maschines are rattling! Sit tight ppl :

perelmanfan's picture

I like doom porn as much as anyone else. But the folks at the Daily Reckoning have an interesting perspective:

Fact is, because we've been on this continent in large numbers only 500 years instead of millennia, we have not managed to entirely use up/fuck up our natural resources yet. This gives the U.S. a large and entirely dumbshit-pure-luck advantage in surviving the coming shitstorm. On the flip side, we're much softer and lazier people than those in most of the rest of the world. Bottom line is you can't write off the U.S. until you factor in stuff like this.


dwdollar's picture

The problem is mostly social, not physical. America has become one of the most dysfunctional societies in centuaries and the rest of the world is right behind us.

Hell, we could acquire more resources off-world if we had a functional society.

bdc63's picture

Perelmanfan:  I have a background in manufacturing and I can tell this is going to be MUCH harded then it appears.  For one, we have absolutely stopped developing manufacturing talent in this country -- NOBODY goes to school for industrial or manufacturing engineering anymore.  Secondly, companies that went through big outsourcing to China efforts probaby shipped all of their tooling/molds over there as well ... that stuff is NEVER coming back (actually, the contracts we signed with China guarentee it - its never leaving the country).  Not to mention that once we outsourced our manufacturing to China, we developed a Chinese supply base to support it ... which ended up putting most of our US suppliers out of business ...

HUGE can of worms here.  It could take us, realistically, a couple of decades to get back to where we were in this country from a manufacturing perpective.

bob_dabolina's picture

Manufacturing and working is not part of our culture anymore. We have become a state run welfare nanny state of gimme, gimme, gimme.

Those jobs are NEVER coming back. Not in my lifetime at least.

It's the mentality of our country - fat slobs watching snooki on UE and food stamps.

adr's picture

Not only have we stopped teaching the skills. There isn't anyone left that could even figure out a new machine from Germany or China. It is one thing to know how to use a break, or lathe from 1952. It's a whole other thing to figure out how to program a new computerized milling machine when every word printed on it is in another language.

A packaging plant I use just bought a new machine from Germany to run folding boxes. They needed Germans to come here and install it and another German is staying for two months to teach everyone how to use it. If something breaks, yep they need to call a German to fly over and fix it.

Try, just try to get a plastic part made in the USA today to replace a part from China. You almost can't get it done. Need something cast metal, almost nobody left because of environmental regs.

You might find one or two plants in the USA to fit your needs but the machines will be out of date and the price will be terrible. You'll probably need to pay for mold costs as well. One search on Alibaba and you'll find 3000 places to get the part, and all of them will have an English speaking person to talk to. Manufacturing in the USA is a joke. Take away autos and big ticket items and there is nothing left. There are some places just hanging on. Getting a $3000 order is enough to goose the area PMI by 10%.

Andre's picture


"Take away autos and big ticket items and there is nothing left. There are some places just hanging on. Getting a $3000 order is enough to goose the area PMI by 10%."

Mostly true, but not entirely. I worked as a maintenance engineer until 2008 in plants making carpet pad, copper tube products (e.g., radiators), foam and tape products, and sheet metal HVAC products. I would take 1970-1980 era machinery and completely redesign the controls. New wiring, PLC, HMI (English and Spanish capable), safety, networking, motors and controls - but almost EVERYTHING I used came from Japan. Allen-Bradley is WAY overpriced, Siemens and Omron not much better.

Can't do that now. Working for a plant is one thing. Insurance at this point is ridiculous.

One big problem, the manufacturing equipment manufacturers do not understand software. Makes it hard to create modern tools.

YesWeKahn's picture

Tyler, you still don't get it. This is to make sure that everyone has a chance to see the headline "Dow above 1300 since the financial crisis".

Stax Edwards's picture

Glad to see we are finally getting a correction.  This is a good thing IMO.  Market needed to have a sale.

Eisenhorn's picture

In other news worth repeating:


So if THESE people are canceling vacations and clipping does that help the recovery Mr. Benny????



Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Those suffering douche bags. May all of those banksters rot in hell!!

Bob Sacamano's picture

13,000 is meaningless (as is 13,001 and 12,999).  Just because some on CNBC are enamored, does not give it credence.  Must be slow news day.

bdc63's picture

I'm pretty sure at this point they wish they hadn't given it so much attention ...

JohnKozac's picture

City of London and NYC real estate bubbles have met their pin perhaps.

HK, Vancouver and Sydney are already falling.  The psychology is now very negative for RE....Ex, over 75% of HK'ers and Sydneyites think RE will fall this year.

azzhatter's picture

this is just campaign garbage for the Obozo admin. Jimmy Rogers called it right- expect a lot of good news, it's an election year. 

bdc63's picture

yeah, but 'good news' and 'QE3' are like oil & water.  uncle benny better get his tap shoes out ...

cherry picker's picture

They always used to advise people to stay in the game, it will come back up sooner or later, so some people did.

Then Lehman, Indy Mac, Fannie, Freddie, AIG, GM, Chrysler and a few others all considered blue chip and good as gold retirement investments went broke and their stock certificates considered to be good only for kindling.

I look at the DOW and Nasdaq and see them approaching the levels that they achieved before the .dot com bust, how many years was that ago?  Over a decade.

This hold business really doesn't apply anymore does it?  For indexes to not reach positions they achieved in over ten years, with most of the predominant members back then no longer around and new companies trying to fill in the gaps using inflation to even the past's score, it isn't anything to write home to mama about.

El Hosel's picture

Yeah it comes back....   in dollars that buy fewer and fewer micro gallons of gasoline for the car that cost more than your first two houses combined.

Rynak's picture

*shake* *shake* *shake* "Get out of my market already you stupid investors. Don't you realize that who panics first, panics best? I need an emergency, damnit!"