Dow Jones Crosses 13,000 22 Times And... Closes Under

Tyler Durden's picture

It was quite a day for retirement planners everywhere as the decisions to show up to work or not tomorrow have been on-again, off-again no less than 22 times today as the all-important Dow 13,000 maginot line was criss-crossed frequently only to end on a disappointingly negative note - washing away all those glorious gains in the last 30 seconds.

Of course, in reality, Dow 13000 was crossed considerably more times (thanks to the fractal nature of the quotes) but being conservative 22 times seemed enough.

Charts: Bloomberg

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Thomas's picture

Kabuki Theater. It will cross many more times and victory will be declared each and every time.

EscapeKey's picture

Where are my two minutes of hate?

TruthInSunshine's picture

Joe Wiesenthal slashed his wrists with a swingline stapler and is threatening to jump from the ledge of his first floor window.

Henry Blodget is trying to get a hold of Jon Corzine to talk Wiesenthal down.


In the meantime, special needs James Altucher is calling for Dow 20k within year. You can't make this shit up:

AbruptlyKawaii's picture


Dow Jones Crosses 13,000 22 Times And... Closes Under






fuking algos


rhetorical question: are sapiens the dumbest species ever ? seriously.


stoopid humanz DISPROVE Darwin right?


i put this question to the ZH "community" (fuk u cog diss and ur kommunitee)


okayyy maybe every theory can have an exception or assumption, but then we're in economics territory.....



FortyTwoIsTheAnswer's picture

Altucher may be right with a Dow 20K prediction. But only because there will so much money printed.

ChrisFromMorningside's picture

Exactly. We may well see Dow 20,000 before we see Dow 0.

ChrisFromMorningside's picture

20,000? Why so low?

I was listening to a financial "advice" show on Southern California radio that said the DJIA "should" be at 39,000, if it weren't for the unwarranted pessimism of retail investors. Not making this up.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Altucher's a piker compared to James Glassman, bitchez. Dow 36000: The New Strategy for Profiting from the Coming Rise in the Stock Market
  • November 14, 2000
by James K. Glassman and Kevin A. Hassett
"Every stock owner should read this book."
-- Allan H. Meltzer, professor of political economy, Carnegie Mellon University

* A radically new way to determine what stocks are really worth
* Why the Dow is still poised to zoom
* Why the financial establishment is wrong
* Why stocks are actually less risky than bonds
* How to build a maximizing portfolio and invest without fear

"One of the hottest business books around. . . . It has wonderfully clear explanations of financial theory [and] excellent advice on general investing approaches."
-- Allan Sloan, Newsweek

"It may sound like headline-grabbing sensationalism, but the scholarly and punctilious authors make a persuasive case . . . the book is highly readable and witty."
-- Arthur M. Louis, San Francisco Chronicle

"Dow 36,000 is a provocative and well-written treatise that cannot be dismissed. . . ."
-- Burton G. Malkiel, Wall Street Journal

"Dow 36,000: Everything you know about stocks is wrong."
-- Jim Jubak, Worth magazine


HedgeAccordingly's picture

LOLz. Obama gasoline bubble.. Charted right here..

Buck Johnson's picture

It sure is kabuki theater, why not dow 15,000 or 20,000.  Everyone knows that this market is juiced on printed money and that a massive correction must be done.  But they can't have that because it would take down alot of banks and this is an election year.

Tsar Pointless's picture

Catch-22. Get into the market now, and try to catch the wave up to new highs, or stay out and miss out on the rocket-ride.

Decisions, decisions.

I think I'll stay out. I'm not a fan of casinos.

EscapeKey's picture

It's not a casino. Casinos are strictly regulated, and rogue operators put out of business.

Sudden Debt's picture

OH!! If it's regulated it must be legit!

JohnKozac's picture

I'm sticking with my plumber. He is smarter then any PhD in economics.

nmewn's picture

lol...I was trying to keep track of how many times Pisani has wet himself over the last couple days.

Now we know.

devo's picture

What rocket ride?

Valuations still matter. If they're overbought, you short.

mayhem_korner's picture



"Overbought" cannot be defined without admitting to abject speculation.

UP Forester's picture

Come on.

Everyone knows only oil has speculation, and that's evil.

TradingJoe's picture

Window Dressing for tourists, that is the DOW!

GeneMarchbanks's picture

22 x 2 = 66 write in another 6 and you get 666. My point? I have none kinda like this market.

moonman's picture

Not real good with the math huh?

JPM Hater001's picture

Since Gene may chose to edit...the original post was:

"22 x 2 = 66 write in another 6 and you get 666. My point? I have none kinda like this market."

UP Forester's picture

Maths iz fer peepul dat kant spel.

EvlTheCat's picture

Roller coaster porn

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Traders know that stocks are overbought.

Now it is like a Hot Potato.  Although they pump the Stocks up they all want to pass it on to someone else but do not want to hold it themselves.

you enjoy myself's picture

yep.  its been a little over 2 months now where virtually every negative opening SPX print has rallied back to at least even or slightly down.  when that music stops nobody knows, but its going to be one hell of a bull trap.

EscapeKey's picture

Well, either that, or Bernanke throws in some more liquidity into the markets. It's worked so well in the past, it will surely work forever, right?


devo's picture

With gas lighting up and people blaming the Fed, I'm not sure that's politically viable. At least not a formal QE program.

EscapeKey's picture

Oh don't worry about that.

Soon we'll have the elected teleprompters start repeating the perpetual scapegoat talking points; blaming the evil speculator, again. In fact, Pelosi already did last Friday.

Of course, that they'll never ask who gave these evil speculators all the liquidity to drive up prices is NOT IMPORTANT.

devo's picture

Good point, I did catch her doing that.

Maybe there is some truth to it, though, because the Fed has pumped a lot of money into the system since last year, yet gas is at about the same price. It almost suggests gas is cheaper this year @ $4 vs last year @$4. i.e. a debassed currency buys equal gas? Seems odd. I guess someone is debassing their currency even more or it really is speculation (because we know supply/demand don't drive markets anymore).

TruthInSunshine's picture

Nancy Pelosi said that gas station operators (most of whom are franchisees & don't even set the price of the fuel they sell; the franchisor does that - but I digress) are racists who are raising the price of gas to help the party of fat cats and Wall Street and banks (her husband is as intimately tied to all three categories as anyone in history) unseat Obama this November.

mayhem_korner's picture

Traders know that stocks are overbought.


But buy-and-hold investors aren't on the margin here, so isn't the notion of "overbought" just a game of chicken between traders (and their alter-ego algos)?

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Not when the RSI gets over 90.  There are chartists and they will sell.  Never fails when the RSI gets to high they usually have a sharp pull back.

mayhem_korner's picture



Using "never" and "usually" in the same argument supports my point.  Thx, kitty.

iraskin's picture

Where can you get the report on it?  I know it typically comes from NYSE...

Dow 36000's picture

This means stocks are going up....right?

mayhem_korner's picture



That's what CNBC says...that's what CNBC says...that's what CNBC says...that's what

(skipping narrative CD)

John Wilmot's picture

Bye Bye Bye! I'm off to sell my Lehman shares, they're up right?

Ese Pinche's picture


PaperBear's picture

While silver bounces up from $35/oz and down from $36/oz.

mayhem_korner's picture



Up and down

and in the end it's only round and round...and round


surf0766's picture

But $14.00 gas isn't bad for our growing economy !. B-cup green shoots !!!

Irish66's picture

I like the vix into the close

LouisDega's picture

William Shatner : What the fuck you talkin' about?

Wolferl's picture

Can´t you see the famous Swiss mountain formation, stupid? It means everything will go up forever. Durden is wrong with his doom and gloom. Lol.