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Dow Jones Crosses 13,000 22 Times And... Closes Under

Tyler Durden's picture


It was quite a day for retirement planners everywhere as the decisions to show up to work or not tomorrow have been on-again, off-again no less than 22 times today as the all-important Dow 13,000 maginot line was criss-crossed frequently only to end on a disappointingly negative note - washing away all those glorious gains in the last 30 seconds.

Of course, in reality, Dow 13000 was crossed considerably more times (thanks to the fractal nature of the quotes) but being conservative 22 times seemed enough.

Charts: Bloomberg


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Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:08 | 2201622 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Kabuki Theater. It will cross many more times and victory will be declared each and every time.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2201635 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Where are my two minutes of hate?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:19 | 2201650 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Joe Wiesenthal slashed his wrists with a swingline stapler and is threatening to jump from the ledge of his first floor window.

Henry Blodget is trying to get a hold of Jon Corzine to talk Wiesenthal down.


In the meantime, special needs James Altucher is calling for Dow 20k within year. You can't make this shit up:

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:21 | 2201683 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture


business insider.


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:49 | 2201805 AbruptlyKawaii
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Dow Jones Crosses 13,000 22 Times And... Closes Under






fuking algos


rhetorical question: are sapiens the dumbest species ever ? seriously.


stoopid humanz DISPROVE Darwin right?


i put this question to the ZH "community" (fuk u cog diss and ur kommunitee)


okayyy maybe every theory can have an exception or assumption, but then we're in economics territory.....



Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:03 | 2201872 FortyTwoIsTheAnswer
FortyTwoIsTheAnswer's picture

Altucher may be right with a Dow 20K prediction. But only because there will so much money printed.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 19:36 | 2202093 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

Exactly. We may well see Dow 20,000 before we see Dow 0.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 19:36 | 2202089 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

20,000? Why so low?

I was listening to a financial "advice" show on Southern California radio that said the DJIA "should" be at 39,000, if it weren't for the unwarranted pessimism of retail investors. Not making this up.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 22:46 | 2202480 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Altucher's a piker compared to James Glassman, bitchez. Dow 36000: The New Strategy for Profiting from the Coming Rise in the Stock Market
  • November 14, 2000
by James K. Glassman and Kevin A. Hassett
"Every stock owner should read this book."
-- Allan H. Meltzer, professor of political economy, Carnegie Mellon University

* A radically new way to determine what stocks are really worth
* Why the Dow is still poised to zoom
* Why the financial establishment is wrong
* Why stocks are actually less risky than bonds
* How to build a maximizing portfolio and invest without fear

"One of the hottest business books around. . . . It has wonderfully clear explanations of financial theory [and] excellent advice on general investing approaches."
-- Allan Sloan, Newsweek

"It may sound like headline-grabbing sensationalism, but the scholarly and punctilious authors make a persuasive case . . . the book is highly readable and witty."
-- Arthur M. Louis, San Francisco Chronicle

"Dow 36,000 is a provocative and well-written treatise that cannot be dismissed. . . ."
-- Burton G. Malkiel, Wall Street Journal

"Dow 36,000: Everything you know about stocks is wrong."
-- Jim Jubak, Worth magazine


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:16 | 2201666 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

LOLz. Obama gasoline bubble.. Charted right here..

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 23:44 | 2202602 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

It sure is kabuki theater, why not dow 15,000 or 20,000.  Everyone knows that this market is juiced on printed money and that a massive correction must be done.  But they can't have that because it would take down alot of banks and this is an election year.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:08 | 2201627 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Catch-22. Get into the market now, and try to catch the wave up to new highs, or stay out and miss out on the rocket-ride.

Decisions, decisions.

I think I'll stay out. I'm not a fan of casinos.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2201640 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

It's not a casino. Casinos are strictly regulated, and rogue operators put out of business.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:16 | 2201663 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

OH!! If it's regulated it must be legit!

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:26 | 2201705 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I'm sticking with Cramer.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:57 | 2201856 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

I'm sticking with my plumber. He is smarter then any PhD in economics.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 19:54 | 2202124 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...I was trying to keep track of how many times Pisani has wet himself over the last couple days.

Now we know.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:17 | 2201669 devo
devo's picture

What rocket ride?

Valuations still matter. If they're overbought, you short.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:23 | 2201697 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



"Overbought" cannot be defined without admitting to abject speculation.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 21:06 | 2202289 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Come on.

Everyone knows only oil has speculation, and that's evil.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:08 | 2201628 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Window Dressing for tourists, that is the DOW!

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2201632 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

22 x 2 = 66 write in another 6 and you get 666. My point? I have none kinda like this market.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:26 | 2201706 moonman
moonman's picture

Not real good with the math huh?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:42 | 2201779 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Since Gene may chose to edit...the original post was:

"22 x 2 = 66 write in another 6 and you get 666. My point? I have none kinda like this market."

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 21:07 | 2202294 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Maths iz fer peepul dat kant spel.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2201634 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Roller coaster porn

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2201636 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Traders know that stocks are overbought.

Now it is like a Hot Potato.  Although they pump the Stocks up they all want to pass it on to someone else but do not want to hold it themselves.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:18 | 2201676 devo
devo's picture

Ding ding.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:22 | 2201689 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

yep.  its been a little over 2 months now where virtually every negative opening SPX print has rallied back to at least even or slightly down.  when that music stops nobody knows, but its going to be one hell of a bull trap.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:25 | 2201704 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Well, either that, or Bernanke throws in some more liquidity into the markets. It's worked so well in the past, it will surely work forever, right?


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:28 | 2201710 devo
devo's picture

With gas lighting up and people blaming the Fed, I'm not sure that's politically viable. At least not a formal QE program.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:33 | 2201719 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Oh don't worry about that.

Soon we'll have the elected teleprompters start repeating the perpetual scapegoat talking points; blaming the evil speculator, again. In fact, Pelosi already did last Friday.

Of course, that they'll never ask who gave these evil speculators all the liquidity to drive up prices is NOT IMPORTANT.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:37 | 2201737 devo
devo's picture

Good point, I did catch her doing that.

Maybe there is some truth to it, though, because the Fed has pumped a lot of money into the system since last year, yet gas is at about the same price. It almost suggests gas is cheaper this year @ $4 vs last year @$4. i.e. a debassed currency buys equal gas? Seems odd. I guess someone is debassing their currency even more or it really is speculation (because we know supply/demand don't drive markets anymore).

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:25 | 2201941 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Nancy Pelosi said that gas station operators (most of whom are franchisees & don't even set the price of the fuel they sell; the franchisor does that - but I digress) are racists who are raising the price of gas to help the party of fat cats and Wall Street and banks (her husband is as intimately tied to all three categories as anyone in history) unseat Obama this November.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:26 | 2201703 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

Traders know that stocks are overbought.


But buy-and-hold investors aren't on the margin here, so isn't the notion of "overbought" just a game of chicken between traders (and their alter-ego algos)?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:35 | 2201734 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Not when the RSI gets over 90.  There are chartists and they will sell.  Never fails when the RSI gets to high they usually have a sharp pull back.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:36 | 2201743 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Using "never" and "usually" in the same argument supports my point.  Thx, kitty.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 22:26 | 2202449 iraskin
iraskin's picture

Where can you get the report on it?  I know it typically comes from NYSE...

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:10 | 2201643 Dow 36000
Dow 36000's picture

This means stocks are going up....right?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:28 | 2201709 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



That's what CNBC says...that's what CNBC says...that's what CNBC says...that's what

(skipping narrative CD)

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:06 | 2201885 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

Bye Bye Bye! I'm off to sell my Lehman shares, they're up right?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:11 | 2201644 Ese Pinche
Ese Pinche's picture


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:11 | 2201646 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

While silver bounces up from $35/oz and down from $36/oz.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:52 | 2201830 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Up and down

and in the end it's only round and round...and round


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:12 | 2201647 surf0766
surf0766's picture

But $14.00 gas isn't bad for our growing economy !. B-cup green shoots !!!

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:13 | 2201648 Irish66
Irish66's picture

I like the vix into the close

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:17 | 2201649 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

William Shatner : What the fuck you talkin' about?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:14 | 2201656 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Can´t you see the famous Swiss mountain formation, stupid? It means everything will go up forever. Durden is wrong with his doom and gloom. Lol.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:15 | 2201657 Bold Eagle
Bold Eagle's picture

Have to keep public in suspense, that's rule #1 for a soap opera. The next episode is at 9:30 am tomorrow.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:15 | 2201658 realtick
realtick's picture

How come no one is talking about Morgan Stanley? That stock is falling apart.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:16 | 2201664 Kristian
Kristian's picture

The cynical remarks of Zerohedge on the efforts of the powers in charge that do their utmost best to deliver us the wealth effect, just make this website so lovable.


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:43 | 2201729 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The wealth affect is antiquated, and has been retired, and The Bernank replaced it with 'virtuous circle'

It's sort of like the 9  circles in Dante's Inferno.

Interview with Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke - 60 Minutes (virtuous circle jerk)

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:07 | 2201887 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Well, let's see. The "wealth effect" didn't work, and neither did "trickle down economics". What's next? Us just handing the top 0.01% our money?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:16 | 2201667 adr
adr's picture

The Dow better get cranking. It has to cross 14k by the end of march to keep with the pattern. Anything else will be considered failure. It has to hit 15k by April 15th, 16k by May 1st, 17k by May 7th. And then start 1k days, hours, minutes, and seconds. By July the Dow will be at 1 million. Everyone will be trillionaires, but gasoline will be 5 trillion per gallon. The 1%ers will be what? Septillionaires? I can't remember what comes after quintillion. 

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:30 | 2201711 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

James Altucher says the Dow is going to 20,000 by the end of the year. However he neglected to say that if it does we will be paying $20.00 for a loaf of bread.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:29 | 2201949 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"James Altucher says the Dow is going to 20,000 by the end of the year."

Did he say which year?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:17 | 2201671 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I wore a bald spot in my head putting on and taking off my dow 13,000 cap.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:18 | 2201677 Herman_the_German
Herman_the_German's picture

PPT in full force !!

After european markets went down they came in with a vengeance with the US opening. Ramping up to Fridays levels and then - flatliners. What a farce of a market.

But they had to keep the FDAX above the critical chartlevel of 6840.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:21 | 2201685 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

I may not be nearly as sophisticated as some of the people who read and comment on ZeroHedge, but I've loaded up my inverse ETFs.


Crash away.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:32 | 2201725 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



So you've got yer whole stack-o-chips on 00?  Should be good test of stamina.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:30 | 2201716 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Gerald Celente, Greg Weldon, Greg Hunter, Nigel Farage, etc. must all be having a stroke.

And PCLN is up $24 after hours, sheesh!!!

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:35 | 2201735 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Recovered so quickly from your February bloodpuke-fest, Robo?  We thought a tickle of the 13k might get you crawling out from some manhole (pun intended) somewhere.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:15 | 2201906 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

What?  ZH revoked your privilege to post chart porn, so now you're pimping your posts at a different site??


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:20 | 2201925 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

Welcome back,ZH is never the same W/O you.

Tue, 02/28/2012 - 00:58 | 2202736 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

I just gave you a green arrow Robo

                  With love, William Shatner

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:41 | 2201772 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

It is like trying to break the warp barrier, we just can't do it the engines can't take the strain!!!

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:43 | 2201776 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture


Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:48 | 2201813 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Oh good. Robot is back. 

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:48 | 2201818 gimli
gimli's picture

I really felt that the 23rd time would have been the charm --- let's go for the Guinness record tomorrow ......... on 2nd thought, I'll just go for a few Guinness's instead

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:50 | 2201822 G Mann
G Mann's picture

You guys have any luck Twitter-fucking Black Box One? (Goldman)

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 17:52 | 2201832 blu
blu's picture

In and out 22 times.

Some people act just like animals, really.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:10 | 2201897 navy62802
navy62802's picture

If you have your retirement tied up in this market you are both dumb and fucked.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 18:16 | 2201912 third world
third world's picture

I am curios ... Who is buying this rally??? the hedge funds are again behind the curve as usual; the data show just outflows form retail (i kwon it change a lit bit recently, but not enought to justify the rally); buybacks??? it sounds strange (january/february, i don't tinhk so) ... So the props??? problably ... props and the no short strategies anymore??? maybe ... i don't kwon ...  

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 21:29 | 2202324 chump666
chump666's picture

Scary.  Rangy trading of top and it cannot hold 13000...we got the LTRO coming up and it's already priced in as a potential risk averse event.  PIIGS yields should start to blow out again on oil inflation and euro zone debt being dog sh*t, no one wants it. Better off with IBM bonds.  Sovereigns are going to get punished and the ECB can't do anything about it.

LOL they blew the oil price out is precisely why the bond market will start to look worst for ware.

Correction (stocks) about to rev up into a panic sell.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 22:13 | 2202420 iraskin
iraskin's picture

chump, where are you coming up with this bullshit from? Do you have some method to derive your view?

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 23:53 | 2202601 chump666
chump666's picture

huh?  Well discussing it with the braindead isn't one of them.


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