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ECB Officially Announces Easing Of Collateral Rules, Confirms Europe Has Run Out Of Assets

Tyler Durden's picture


The headline which paradoxically ramped stocks yesterday, is back:


Why paradoxically? Because once again Europe confirms it has run out of actual money-good assets that can be pledged. Going forward, every repo transaction will merely be a dilutive one: those deposits you have with bank XYZ? Why, they are backed by the kitchen sink. Literally.

As for the rating of the actual collateral? Why that will come from the ECB itself of course.

Goodbye European Central Bank. Hello Salvation Army Bank.

or in other words: 


Meet Europe's new currency:

Full text from the bank which will now outbid anyone for anything on Ebay

Further Measures To Lift Collateral Availability

The European Central Bank on Friday announced further measures to increase collateral availability for counterparties. Following is the text of the ECB's press release: 

On 20 June 2012 the Governing Council of the European Central Bank (ECB) decided on additional measures to improve the access of the banking sector to Eurosystem operations in order to further support the provision of credit to households and non-financial corporations.

The Governing Council has reduced the rating threshold and amended the eligibility requirements for certain asset-backed securities (ABSs). It has thus broadened the scope of the measures to increase collateral availability which were introduced on 8 December 2011 and which remain applicable. In addition to the ABSs that are already eligible for use as collateral in Eurosystem operations, the Eurosystem will consider the following ABSs as eligible:

1. Auto loan, leasing and consumer finance ABSs and ABSs backed by commercial mortgages (CMBSs) which have a second-best rating of at least "single A"1 in the Eurosystem's harmonised credit scale, at issuance and at all times subsequently. These ABSs will be subject to a valuation haircut of 16%.

2. Residential mortgage-backed securities (RMBSs), securities backed by loans to small- and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs), auto loan, leasing and consumer finance ABSs and CMBSs which have a second-best rating of at least "triple B"2 in the Eurosystem's harmonised credit scale, at issuance and at all times subsequently. RMBSs, securities backed by loans to SMEs, and auto loan, leasing and consumer finance ABSs would be subject to a valuation haircut of 26%, while CMBSs would be subject to a valuation haircut of 32%.

The risk control framework with higher haircuts applicable to the newly eligible ABS aims at ensuring risk equalisation across asset classes and maintaining the risk profile of the Eurosystem.

The newly eligible ABSs must also satisfy additional requirements which will be specified in the legal act to be adopted Thursday, 28 June
2012. The measures will take effect as soon as the relevant legal act enters into force.      


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Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:14 | 2550478 chanxmanx
chanxmanx's picture

quid pro quo?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550496 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Whichever country wins the EuroCup gets an extra €500billion from the ECB if they post some jock straps as collateral. 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:21 | 2550519 battle axe
battle axe's picture

Soon physical dog shit will be eligible for collateral....

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:33 | 2550582 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

I'm putting my oldest boxer shorts on ebay under "AAA collateral", see what I can get.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:27 | 2550850 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

I have been stacking up the Spiderman towels ever since their value approached 300 euros.  But then I had a boating accident and now they have all been lost.  :(

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:28 | 2551203 0z
0z's picture

When are they going to get us the "Spiderman Wheelbarrows"  ??

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:48 | 2551312 old naughty
old naughty's picture

not to worry, Spanish banks still have some left...go make another deposit.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:34 | 2550585 CURWAR2012
CURWAR2012's picture

Only if it is from a German Sheperd. No shit acceptable from chihuahuas, Westies, or Portugese waterdogs.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:52 | 2550695 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I'm still trying to figure out how you put up an outstanding loan as collateral for an outstanding loan.......... its nonsense.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:05 | 2550759 dannyboy
dannyboy's picture

Absolutely nobody could have seen this coming. Nobody.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:54 | 2550703 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

I have a great dane.  If we are now pricing in dog shit then I am a gazillionaire. 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:44 | 2550794 trilliontroll
trilliontroll's picture

"Only if it is from a German Sheperd."

 So etwa ?



Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:55 | 2550691 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

I heard they are closing the dog shit window.


"Paper dog shit will be eligible for collateral.... "

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:56 | 2550713 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

Fifi Fiat. 


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:53 | 2550700 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

heck no there is an understood value to feces, these "objects" are illusions of value. aka paper dog shit.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:19 | 2551154 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

"physical" ...good one

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:24 | 2550535 resurger
resurger's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:28 | 2550558 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Clinton should be running Euroland........everyone knows you should....deny, deny, deny.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:35 | 2550593 knukles
knukles's picture

What could go wrong?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:31 | 2550573 Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
Rikki-Tikki-Tavi's picture

Would make sense, after all the players already posted will need some gear


Team ECB should be Champions League material.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:18 | 2551140 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

Used ones of course

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:46 | 2551302 old naughty
old naughty's picture

while no doubt it would end up in this current state, I was amazed that they lasted this long...and if they still have jock straps (whatever) left, wish them luck using them.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:43 | 2551554 skohiu
skohiu's picture

Germany vs. Greece today....Greece better throw the game or Merkel may Hank Paulson them.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:36 | 2550596 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Auto loans are our speciality!


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:59 | 2551362 mt paul
mt paul's picture

squid pro quo...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:15 | 2550481 Capitalist10
Capitalist10's picture

Used condom CDOs now AAA

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:17 | 2550497 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Ahh, so clothes and shoes still work after all...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550514 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

that's draghi's favorite

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:15 | 2550483 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

they keep throwing things at the wall hoping something will stick..

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:38 | 2550603 knukles
knukles's picture

Reference above: used condoms

See, there are reasons to relax the rules.
Nothin'll go wrong.

Believe me.

Who the fuck is in charge of this shit? 
We've humorously giggled about Timmah and Summers for years, but this is beyond reality. 
Kafkesque Cenrtal Banking.

No way.
No fucking way.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:43 | 2550627 BandGap
BandGap's picture

We will go through stages in order to accept this new reality. Honestly, I'm with you here, but nothing seems to point that going back to what was "normal" is even remotely possible now. Don't fight the current, see where it leads you.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:15 | 2550486 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

Easy Peasy!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:16 | 2550490 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Will accept Olympic medals made of plastic.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:19 | 2550505 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Olympic gold medals apparently have "Made in Greece/Italy/Spain/Portugal.  Property of Germany" stamped into the back.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:24 | 2550533 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:19 | 2550492 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Layup for WB7:

Top Ten Things The ECB Is Considering Qualifying As Eligible Collateral.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:17 | 2550493 EconSammie
EconSammie's picture

Yes I saw this whole concept come under some deserved fire earlier.

The Euro area


Many times during its crisis Euro area politicians and leaders have suggested that the Euro area should do its own ratings. The initial problem is that this would come with an enormous moral hazard issue. And of course if there was a group of people unfit for such a role I think that they have demonstrated that they are it!


This week the European Central Bank has been testing the waters in this area with one or two leaks to the media. Let me offer a clear problem with it doing this, the ECB still assumes that sovereign nations cannot default. Meanwhile in the real world Greece has had a debt haircut otherwise known as a default. Of course the ECB side-stepped this with its own holdings of Greek debt evidencing again the truth of George Orwell’s words.




Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:17 | 2550495 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Go long on lube.  Europe is going to need lots of it if it hopes to avoid severe chafing from this massive circle jerk.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:18 | 2550501 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

Euro - 30 pip pop.  MEH.  Dow futes look to open up 60-70.  That's a bit hard to understand.  But I do expect a ramp up in to the SCOTUS HC announcement.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550502 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Will they hand out token tokens as valuable fiat when failure is finally obvious?


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:34 | 2550590 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Would may monthly pass still do the trick?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:42 | 2550621 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

They already do. By definition a coin has to have intrinsic value. And by definition something that only has value ascribed to it from some external authority is called a token. Since all coins in current circulation are made from base metals, we all use tokens.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:09 | 2550770 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

But what about token tokens? Is a copy of a copy anymore real than the original copy?  :>)

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:19 | 2550800 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Token tokens?  This is getting dangerously close to "Pimp my Currency".  We'll have to hire Chairman Xzibit for this job.  "Yo dawg, we heard that you liked fiat!  So we put fiat in your fiat, and now you can have debt inside your debt!"

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:19 | 2550506 pods
pods's picture

To get out of a hole, the first thing you must do is stop digging and put down the shovel.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:24 | 2550534 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

That's too "old" logic.  "New" logic says dig all the way through and come out the other side.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:33 | 2550581 spentCartridge
spentCartridge's picture

Only an idiot would dig a hole with a shovel.


A real hole digger would use a spade.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:47 | 2550656 GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

A real holde digger would say stuff you and your mates with spades and get out a JCB or CAT.

Now were are talking digging a hole and is good for shovelling sh%^ too.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:51 | 2550687 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

"Then why not use spoons instead of a shovel?" -Milton Friedman

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:59 | 2550729 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

I am calling "racisss" twice over!  You cannot say digger and certainly cannot say spade.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:53 | 2551334 spentCartridge
spentCartridge's picture

I didn't say diggers are spades.


I said they use them ... to dig holes.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:55 | 2551346 ZeroDebt
ZeroDebt's picture

i am a GOLD digger.



Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:02 | 2551372 mt paul
mt paul's picture

a real hole digger

would use Chinese labor....

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550509 Bob
Bob's picture

Financialization was always just an exploitive circle jerk.  Now the pace quickens . . . blisters ahead! 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550510 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

How to make a bad bank even worse. Euro loves it, banks love it, why didn't Gold get the message?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550511 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

That is the beginning of the end when you DENY RATING AGENCIE.


Dont get me wrong, the agencies are worthless as teets no a boar, but YOU DUMP THEM WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD, NOT BAD.


There is no answer folks. None.




playing games.....

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:22 | 2550528 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Uh! ... Dat is not TEETS, but rather TEATS ... or just plain BOOBS, most modern ones brought to you by DOW Chemical.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:33 | 2550579 i-dog
i-dog's picture

and MSNBC.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550512 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Ding! Ding! Ding! If they need a LARGE & ROUND kettle ringer for Christmas to fit the Santa suit, at least they have Merkel; no alterations necessary. Ring! Ring! Ring!

Alms for da poor!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550515 teljames
teljames's picture

Greece and Germany to do battle in the field of sport (euro 2012 football championships), the Merkel will be there, but no Greek Prime Minister......hang on do they have one?




Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:20 | 2550516 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:36 | 2550597 docj
docj's picture

Evidently. Go figure.

Wake me once math (hell, arithmetic) starts to make sense again.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:21 | 2550520 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

When the rules prevent things from running according to plan, the capitalist changes his plan and adapts, whereas the central planner changes the rules...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:22 | 2550524 BandGap
BandGap's picture

To get out of the hole you must dig the hole to see what's in it.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:22 | 2550526 dead hobo
dead hobo's picture

New show for Fall 2012 TV season:

ECB Pawn Stars

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:23 | 2550527 Yikes
Yikes's picture

Autoloans?  Really?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:11 | 2550775 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

I'm going to post my 1981 yugo as collateral on a $1.2B loan from the Fed....

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:30 | 2550530 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Draghi has the green light to make "euro" into a super light currency. We are in currency war and Merkel, if she has to bail out "ze bloody spanien and italien banks", wants to make sure that she can at least export more of what little the world will want to buy. "Ja, Ja, Ja! What a scheizer world we live in (sigh). I was so much happier in Ost Germany as physicist."

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum, du kannst mir sehr gefallen!
Euro Politburo pow-wow in Rome today :Les quatre poids lourds de la zone euro à Rome pour un pré-sommet anticrise


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:23 | 2550532 Yikes
Yikes's picture

What's next?  Payday loans?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:25 | 2550539 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Wait a minute. Bernanke took IOU's from these clowns in 2009, why not now.  We can print as much money as they need.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:04 | 2551082 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

"why not now?"

The answer rhymes with "erection".

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:25 | 2550541 permafrost
permafrost's picture

And now Greek PM Antonis Samaras has adopted an anti-austerity stance:

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:25 | 2550543 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:27 | 2550548 HyperLazy
HyperLazy's picture

"Residential mortgage-backed securities (RMBSs)"

So the ECB wants to be Europe's largest landlord parallel to the FED?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:27 | 2550551 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

With a room full of money printing presses, who needs collateral?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:28 | 2550560 sumo
sumo's picture

Timmy the Great is right: the Eurozone must print Spiderman towels in vast quantities. Sorry Spidey.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:28 | 2550561 surf0766
surf0766's picture

9:30 and the comments already have me in tears.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:28 | 2550562 chinaguy
chinaguy's picture

and the BEST part of this is that now the ECB gets to rate it's own toxic crap -

you need triple-B for your package of auto loan backed crap - "you've got it". Nice doing business with you & come again please.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:11 | 2550776 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

Sounds a lot like the NAR circa 1980 thru 2007, doesn't it.  You need an appraisal of one million on your problemo!  Just can't make this shit up.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:29 | 2550563 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Auto loans, the ECB is going to take auto loans as collateral. I cannot believe how fucked up the continent is. Auto Loans. I wish I could make this up. I would be in high demand. Beyond comment.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:42 | 2550622 sumo
sumo's picture

Wait till the Fed opens up its Maiden Lane hotel and restaurant swap lines to Europe:


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:45 | 2550642 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Tell you what, ECB, I'll help you out there - I'd like a '12 plate Land Rover Defender turbo-diesel with the winch, fording and snorkel options, please. Hook me up, yeah? I'll pay for it... I promise! And I promise not to take it and head for the hills when TSHTF, so you'll always know where it is if you need to repossess.

We cool?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:50 | 2550678 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

All of your auto loans are belong to us.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:30 | 2550565 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

IBEX 35 new highs for the move

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:44 | 2550636 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

After you got gunned down by Tyler with the same post yesterday you go and post it again. You have no shame!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:10 | 2551403 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:05 | 2550676 pods
pods's picture

edit:  Day late and a dollar short, tocointhephase beat me to it!


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:24 | 2551452 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Great minds!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:30 | 2550566 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

obviously bullish, anytime an entire continent runs out of pretty much anything of value it makes perfect sense that the markets should raise...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:34 | 2550583 sumo
sumo's picture

Yes, and if the markets get it wrong in Obama's election year, the Fed and the ESF will make efficient markets even more efficienter.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:31 | 2550574 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Umm, I have a couple of old IOU's for a few grand lying around that I nev.... I mean are good and still on the books. Can I get a couple of hundred thousand?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:33 | 2550575 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

 Otherwise known as rehypothecation of ---->YOUR<---- nations estimable privately held gold.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:32 | 2550577 Bullwinkle Moose
Bullwinkle Moose's picture

This is insanity. The world has already built its entire financial system on sinking sand. Now, they want to devalue the security assets that back up their debts even more! How could this possibly be more destabilizing? At least physical gold can't be eroded by these criminals. Buy physical gold. Store it. Forget about it until this disaster is over.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:33 | 2550580 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

when its all said and done, that spiderman towel will be the image that lasts in my mind of this whole debacle.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:18 | 2550797 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

That and the deer in the headlights.

The Spiderman Clusterfuck - Sounds Ludlumish.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:34 | 2550588 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:45 | 2550645 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

1970s Lynda Carter = CRAZY DELICIOUS.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:49 | 2550673 falak pema
falak pema's picture

for once you speak with no peace pipe and no forked tongue! You on war path for squaw from past! 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:59 | 2550731 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

That was really weird, but O-K.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:35 | 2550592 Agent P
Agent P's picture

They let me pledge my sister...and I don't even have a sister...this international banking gig is too easy.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:38 | 2550601 sumo
sumo's picture

You're going naked short on sisters? Isn't that illeg... arousing?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:55 | 2550711 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture


You pledged your sister?

Thats fuck all that.  I pledged a pledge, and then the stupid fuckers gave me £100,000?  I am stupid, not fucking stupid the cashier said.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:12 | 2550779 Satan
Satan's picture

I just rehypothecated your sister.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:38 | 2550600 AmenRa
AmenRa's picture

Maybe Egan jones should rate the ECB...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:42 | 2550619 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

What is needed is a tidy little war to jumpstart the languid economies. But where?

Oh look! Turks just lost a fighter in Syria!,7340,L-4245986,00.html


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:48 | 2550669 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Syria lost one yesterday, too. Mig-21 pilot landed in Jordan and asked for asylum. Guess Syria must still have a few guys who ain't so keen to murder their own population.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:08 | 2550766 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

Reuters is saying this was a Turkish F-4 and it went down in Syrian territory. Over water or land not known, nor the fate of the two aboard.

Not remotely implying there is any connection, but the European financial community might welcome a distraction from that wonderfully uncomfortable spotlight they've been in.

Any spark in the region would be a mighty handy excuse to do some otherwise unpalatable things to extricate themselves from the financial morass.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:09 | 2550771 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

You mean to say you are believing the war propaganda about Syria just like we were told WMDs in Iraq, Kuwaiti babies thrown out of incubators by Iraqi troops ?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:26 | 2550847 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

I don't believe anything from anybody anymore, but I'm not going to ignore the implications of a shoot-down of any fighter aircraft in an area that is a tinderbox (for whatever reasons) Not taking sides, just making a note of something that has the potential for greater implications.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:47 | 2550652 mortiis
mortiis's picture

Where can I buy one of those towels?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:48 | 2550667 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

A very very rare mineral called Unobtanium will soon start trading at an opening price of $1,000,000 per ounce and is thought to soon provide ample collateral for all the world´s debt and derivatives twenty times over. This mineral is totally useless but very pretty and also extremely rare which explains the high price. (Sources)

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:52 | 2550690 GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

Oh so they renamed the Greek CDS as unobtanium.

Wondered where they went.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:50 | 2550679 sangell
sangell's picture

My Sunday Newspaper has over $553 worth of coupons that can be redeemed for Euros at the ECB!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:51 | 2550688 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

You guys worry too much.  Everything here is A OK, take a chill pill and sit down for a while, relax its all good.

Thats what herman vanrumpuy told me yesterday afternoon.  Its a shame no-one, and I wont do it because NSA is watching(big thumbs up lads!!!!) puts a fucking axe through the little fucking cunts head.  I mean for fucks sake, he doesnt even look like a bloke, he looks like something out of a DC comic book for fucks sake.

I urge someone more non safety type of thinking to do as above.  Thanks in advance fuckers.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:51 | 2550689 Satan
Satan's picture

Sovereign NINJA loans !

I just vomited in my mouth a little...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:57 | 2550719 sangell
sangell's picture

I hear the History Channel is going to make a European version of Pawn Stars. Takes place in Frankfurt at a Mario's ECB, Jewelry and Loan!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:04 | 2550754 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

The only assets any of these assholes ever had were the ones they were stealing from you.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:05 | 2550758 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

If I had a dead parrot could I use that as collateral ?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:02 | 2551370 viahj
viahj's picture

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:07 | 2551394 mt paul
mt paul's picture

polly want

a bail out...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:14 | 2550787 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Next up as collateral:


- The tears of the unemployed

- Draghi's integrity

- Promises made in your youth

- Shredder wastebasket contents

- Any sense of decency

- Holograms of fiat

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:26 | 2550848 sumo
sumo's picture

- Presidential campaign promises

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:29 | 2550860 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


- Shredder wastebasket contents

Shoot Jimmy, I got lots of collateral to loan out then, for a small nominal service charge of course.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551023 jal
jal's picture

I don't read this news the same way as most of you do.


The ECB is really saying ...

"I can help you avoid bankruptcy and a reset. I'll take that hit for you.

Here take the money that you need. Give me your bad assets and I'll go bankrupt for you.

Your cost will only be of a few cent." 

Sun, 06/24/2012 - 17:13 | 2556390 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

So the real question is why on earth do the Fed and/or other central banks want to be involved in gargantuan uncollateralised swap arrangements with the ECB?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:03 | 2551074 q99x2
q99x2's picture

My triple A batteries don't work but they still weigh something.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:15 | 2551119 Overfed
Overfed's picture

All of this crap just pisses me off! I have to work and produce something in order to pay my bills. Yet, all these assholes have to do is offer up a shitload of totally worthless collateral, and they get to vacuum up the money to the tune of hundreds of billions. How the fuck is an outstanding auto loan an asset to be held in collateral for another loan? A liability is an asset now?  No wonder the whole system is going to hell in a bucket.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:13 | 2551410 fuu
fuu's picture

Is not having any debt a liability now and can I use it as collateral?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:39 | 2551477 mendigo
mendigo's picture

So they were doing moodys a favor. They should hire the guy on pbs who assesses the stuff from peoples attics.

But this is not very surprising (pathetic maybe and annoying because this afternoon it will be fixed and market will rise) but what I can't fathom is that soon they will issue more debt and it will have a btc of 3 or more and moderate yield. Are these people asking to kick kicked in the nuts?

Sun, 06/24/2012 - 17:12 | 2556389 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Is the haircut on market value (as it should be) or face value (as it shouldn't be, but might be?)

Mon, 06/25/2012 - 00:10 | 2556946 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

Essentialy they are loosening up their own banking rules and do the suggestion of restructering their debts, partial default/hair cut, whatever you wonna call it.

Fact is that all the banks are insolvent but somehow managed to bend some of our money streams into their direction but not all of it, yet.

It's all smoke an mirrors now in which imaginary solutions arn't even enough to hold the euro, mainly German, castle.

A debt which can't be repaid won't be repaid, simple as that but euro technocrats have gone completely beserke.

Question is if Germany can be persuaded further into the this death-debt trap/NWO plan by these mad man?

If so the trap will close, Europe will be taken down after which the U.S. will follow.


It’s only very logical that in the end Germany’s triple-A status would be challenged when implying to be the ‘lender of last resort’. First Germany and the like were laughing and pushing Greece around cause as long as the money streams were diverted into the big banks the show could go on.

But now they’s not laughing anymore because now it has become crystal clear to everyone that EU’s total debt impossibly can’t be payed by Germany alone. Even less so now Europe’s economical situation is deteriorating rapidly. Also because of insane austerity measures which do not only not work but accomplish exactly the opposite in causing a sharp economical downfall in an increasing ‘debt spiral’. We don’t have to quess anymore what that looks like because that’s exactly what has happened to Argentina before and we’re seeing exactly the same happening now in PIIGS.

Soevereign debt rollovers are no longer possible at a low prices while tax money income dries up in a totaly sqeezed private deleveraging debt hole further battered down by high inflation numbers mainly trough high sustaining oil prices which affects almost everything including food. All in all the ECB would need around an estimated 6 trillion to accommodate their imediate and inter-imediate funding needs. One can imagine that this is a very dead street the ECB would be turning into because debts which can’t be payed won’t be payed even if you’re called ‘Germany’.

FROM: Wonder What Would Alice In Wonderland Say To The Vampire Squid?
27 November 2011, by Youri Carma (FPP)

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