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ECB's Asmussen 'Double-Speak' Confuses Algos But Rajoy Gets The Message

Tyler Durden's picture


"Fix it Yourself" or "We've got Your Back"; "Crisis not done in three years" or "Euro is not in crisis"; "Market is pricing in Breakup of Euro" or "Portugal Yields Back at Pre-Bailout Levels" Is it any wonder that EURUSD just blipped up 10 pips, on ECB Executive member Asmussen's confusing diatribe, and fell back now stranded like an upside down beetle. Of course, the key factor in the non-crisis is that


but if there is a crisis - he pushes all-in back to Rajoy:


We guess Europe is indeed back from vacation and the real jaw-boning can begin.


and oh yeah, Portugal is all fixed...


Chart: Bloomberg


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Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:26 | Link to Comment fireangelmaverick
fireangelmaverick's picture

"The Damage caused by the Euro is Irreversible"....Mario Draghi Sep 2014

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:32 | Link to Comment veyron
veyron's picture

Mario ate one too many poison mushrooms

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:36 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Algos can't catch a damn break.

I used to think Skynet would win, but I seriously underestimated the  ability of humans to spew unlimited, successive, and even contradictory bullshit. Even Watson would get all FUBAR'd trying to reconcile all these statement being made, frying his silicon brain.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:47 | Link to Comment ACP
ACP's picture

Maybe they jumbled it into "fix your three year euro-back crisis yourself" and just went monkey shit?

Edit: Rajoy sounds like the name of one of those massage chairs.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:18 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Asmussen should go back to the Finanzamt.  Ever since Micael Lewis featured him in "Boomerang", and he boned up on the ECB school of double-speak, he has been more confusing in his public statements than a Courtney Love intierview circa 1992.   

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:27 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I wonder if central bankers actually believe their own bullshit

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:32 | Link to Comment Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

They have an agenda and that's what counts. Believing or not believing in their own words does not even enter the picture. They are what you might call task-oriented.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:37 | Link to Comment spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

Sorta reminds me of the old Batman show fight scenes, but instead of BAM! and POW! They say BAFFLE! and BULLSHIT!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:37 | Link to Comment laozi
laozi's picture

I think Draghi does. His bad english makes it very hard to lie well. They have all studied economics in school, and sort of follow the rules. To bad the rules they teach are broken.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:28 | Link to Comment ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

He's talking in ever decreasing concentric circles and finally flew up his own Asmussen.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:33 | Link to Comment no life
no life's picture

The fingerboning can get quite aggressive..

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:34 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Game, set and match?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:40 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

We are the Jorg, resistance is futile. You will be asmussimilated.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:40 | Link to Comment Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Bumble Bee Down !

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:51 | Link to Comment timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

Portugal is declared fixed by the eurocrats until it is no longer fixed which will be realized in September. They need a second bailout and will surely get a second bailout that cannot and will not be called a second bailout.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:06 | Link to Comment Agent P
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