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ECB's Asmussen 'Double-Speak' Confuses Algos But Rajoy Gets The Message

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Fix it Yourself" or "We've got Your Back"; "Crisis not done in three years" or "Euro is not in crisis"; "Market is pricing in Breakup of Euro" or "Portugal Yields Back at Pre-Bailout Levels" Is it any wonder that EURUSD just blipped up 10 pips, on ECB Executive member Asmussen's confusing diatribe, and fell back now stranded like an upside down beetle. Of course, the key factor in the non-crisis is that

  • *ASMUSSEN SAYS SPECULATION OF EURO AREA EXITS HINDERS ECB POLICY

but if there is a crisis - he pushes all-in back to Rajoy:

  • *ASMUSSEN SAYS STATES MUST SEEK EFSF HELP BEFORE ECB HELPS
  • *ASMUSSEN SAYS THERE HAS TO BE CONDITIONALITY

We guess Europe is indeed back from vacation and the real jaw-boning can begin.

 

and oh yeah, Portugal is all fixed...

 

Chart: Bloomberg

 

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Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:26 | 2750162 fireangelmaverick
fireangelmaverick's picture

"The Damage caused by the Euro is Irreversible"....Mario Draghi Sep 2014

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:32 | 2750174 veyron
veyron's picture

Mario ate one too many poison mushrooms

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:36 | 2750191 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Algos can't catch a damn break.

I used to think Skynet would win, but I seriously underestimated the  ability of humans to spew unlimited, successive, and even contradictory bullshit. Even Watson would get all FUBAR'd trying to reconcile all these statement being made, frying his silicon brain.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 17:47 | 2750424 ACP
ACP's picture

Maybe they jumbled it into "fix your three year euro-back crisis yourself" and just went monkey shit?

Edit: Rajoy sounds like the name of one of those massage chairs.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 16:18 | 2750552 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Asmussen should go back to the Finanzamt.  Ever since Micael Lewis featured him in "Boomerang", and he boned up on the ECB school of double-speak, he has been more confusing in his public statements than a Courtney Love intierview circa 1992.   

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:27 | 2750163 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I wonder if central bankers actually believe their own bullshit

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:32 | 2750173 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

They have an agenda and that's what counts. Believing or not believing in their own words does not even enter the picture. They are what you might call task-oriented.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:37 | 2750193 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

Sorta reminds me of the old Batman show fight scenes, but instead of BAM! and POW! They say BAFFLE! and BULLSHIT!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:37 | 2750192 laozi
laozi's picture

I think Draghi does. His bad english makes it very hard to lie well. They have all studied economics in school, and sort of follow the rules. To bad the rules they teach are broken.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:28 | 2750164 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

He's talking in ever decreasing concentric circles and finally flew up his own Asmussen.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:33 | 2750176 no life
no life's picture

The fingerboning can get quite aggressive..

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:34 | 2750185 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Game, set and match?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:40 | 2750198 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

We are the Jorg, resistance is futile. You will be asmussimilated.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:40 | 2750202 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Bumble Bee Down !

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:51 | 2750225 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

Portugal is declared fixed by the eurocrats until it is no longer fixed which will be realized in September. They need a second bailout and will surely get a second bailout that cannot and will not be called a second bailout.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 15:06 | 2750271 Agent P
Agent P's picture

* ASSPHINCTER SAYS WHAT?

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