• BullionStar
    05/30/2016 - 21:24
    The US Gold Market is best known as the home of gold futures trading on the COMEX in New York. The COMEX has a literal monopoly on gold futures trading volumes worldwide, but very little physical...

Egan Jones Downgrades JPMorgan

Tyler Durden's picture


The iconoclastic rating agency, and fully recognized NRSRO to the dismay of some tabloids, which just refuses to play by the status quo rules, and which downgraded the US for the second time last Friday, to be followed soon by other rating agencies as soon as US debt crosses the $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months, has just done the even more unthinkable and downgraded Fed boss JPMorgan from AA- to A+.

Synopsis: Reliance on prop trading and inv bkg income remain. LLR declines (down $1.7B QoQ and $3.87B YoY) offset DVA losses in the investment bank. Wholesale loans were up 23% YoY and 2% QoQ. Middle Mkt, Cmml Term, Corp Client and Cmml Real Estate lending increased by 9%, 2%, 16% and 19% YoY. Middle Mkt and Corp lending was up 2% and 3% QoQ respectively, while Cmml Term, and Cmml Real Estate lending were down 2%, and 9% respectively. Card and consumer loans were down 2% and 5% YoY respectively (down 5% and 1% QoQ respectively). Non accruals are up 14% QoQ due to weakness in JPM's student loan portfolio. Reserve coverage is good and capital is adequate. We believe JPM will experience further weakness in its retail portfolio due to a softening economy. We are downgrading.

Full report here.

Your rating: None

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Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:25 | 2342171 SilverDosed
SilverDosed's picture

Haha, fuck you JPM.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342219 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

the time will soon come when blythe will have to peddle her cans at one of those asian massage parlors on wall street.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:56 | 2342309 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Is Blythe dating?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:07 | 2342337 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

.... soon and HFT.

Jamie needs sum collateral :-P

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:47 | 2342599 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Is Eagan Jones made up of terrorists?

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 09:38 | 2345204 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




JPM's shadow clients are the terrorists.


Better cart out Blythe for another interview.


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2414860 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Ahhhhhh . . . how the other rating agencies hate Egan Jones.  Only ones doing the job for the people.  Rest of part of the scam plan

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2342633 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Yeah, she's considering dating Goldman because they took the Asymmetric Service Initiative.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:37 | 2342226 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Downgrade of an insolvent, FASB life support, corrupt bank?  Ok.....play the game.  Bonuses will surely go up as a result.


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:26 | 2342174 Irish66
Irish66's picture

This made my week, thank you

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:51 | 2342291 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Concur 100%.  EJ must be home based in Iceland, the new Land of the Free.


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342177 seamus3500
seamus3500's picture

what about those deriviatives, jd?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:44 | 2342258 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why haven't you heard? They're fully hedged!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:52 | 2342295 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Great news.. who are they hedged with? 

...don't say Goldman Sacks, i can only handle so much laughter per calander month before my sides split

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:04 | 2342331 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Well then this might put you over the edge...


"JPM is in a stronger competitive position than it was before the financial crisis and significant franchise investments should enable the company to generate better relative revenue and earnings growth."

somehow, someway... 


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342181 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342182 tellsometruth
tellsometruth's picture


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:54 | 2342269 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

"Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp is an American action/adventure comedy series that originally aired on ABC from September 12, 1970, to September 2, 1972. The Saturday morning live-action film series featured a cast of chimpanzees given apparent speaking roles by overdubbing with human voices."

Who and where is Lancelot Link today?

The Fed? 

Jamie Dimon?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:55 | 2342306 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Not only was he a superb actor, Lance made a mean Mai-Tai.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:57 | 2342317 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I believe they forced the chimps to chew gum to make them look like they were talking.  They would outperform 99% of the elected officials today.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:20 | 2342366 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Lancelot Obama?


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:17 | 2342368 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

And the CNBC "blow-drys" and guests!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:28 | 2342184 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Debt crosses $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months'....didnt you say yesterday the bond auctions had brought us to $16.6 trillion already?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342196 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

$15.6 trillion. Must be a typo and easily checkable every single day at the following site.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342204 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh ok thanks, not accusing you of anything, just thought I had read that.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342213 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

...and that doesn't even begin to track unfunded liabilities.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:02 | 2342328 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, you're assuming they'll hold themselves liable in the future. Meanwhile, I'm assuming they'll spend money on FEMA camps instead.

How else will a Mad-Max world be prevented?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:39 | 2342238 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture



in case u dont have it.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:10 | 2342347 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea I do have it, just in one of the bond auction articles it said this puts us to $16.66 trillion in debt....funny and memorable  because of the 666 part...just a misprint.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 21:15 | 2343114 fuu
Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:38 | 2342227 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Best part from the site link:


How do you make a contribution to reduce the debt?

There are two ways for you to make a contribution to reduce the debt:

  • You can make a contribution online either by credit card, checking or savings account at Pay.gov
  • You can write a check payable to the Bureau of the Public Debt, and in the memo section, notate that it's a Gift to reduce the Debt Held by the Public. Mail your check to: 

    Attn Dept G
    Bureau of the Public Debt
    P. O. Box 2188
    Parkersburg, WV 26106-2188

Aaah yeah ... um check is in the mail Link


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:39 | 2342241 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Somebody needs to forward that link to Warren Buffet & Obama...


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:56 | 2342307 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

not those 2 tax cheats, sorry 'avoiders'

whatever next, a Treasury Secretary who can't fill out a tax form!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:04 | 2342332 tallen
tallen's picture

US Deficit: $1,327 billion

Warren Buffet Net worth: 44 Billion

Warren Buffet therefore could fund the US government for 12 days.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:18 | 2342369 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

The weeks approaching the $16.4T debt limit will bring omnipresent drama.  It won't sneak up on you.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342186 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The Morgue....lol fuck you Jamie Dimon you punk!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:57 | 2342315 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

for once, a Credit Agency that doesn't slap AAA on garbage ...what a shocker (for the system)

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342187 connda
connda's picture

No problem.  The Fed can produce TARP money faster than you can say, "Flash Crash."


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342197 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Go for it, lets see $6 gas and people cant afford even generic foods going into the supposed election, I'd love to see it, bring it.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:08 | 2342341 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Oh, it's coming, Dog. (though probably not before the next 'selection,' as otherwise, Dr. Paul would get way too much attention)

Mises clearly demonstrated that there's no avoiding the results produced by a debt-based boom.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:11 | 2342351 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Well I dont think they can 'muddle thru' another 6 months without the wheels falling off.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:28 | 2342398 blu
blu's picture

About then yeah. The year 2012 will wind down as one long, continuous, wailing scream of collective horror.

Shit gets real, shortly after elections. Let's see then if they really have the guts to fire on their own.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2342628 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

'everyone' thought 'they' would hold things together after the Lehman collapse until after the elections in 2008.  That didn't work out so well, iirc...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342188 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Banks suck.

Credit Unions rock!

Credit Unions: free checking & low loan rates.

Banks: fees out the ass & high loan rates.





Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:58 | 2342318 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Be careful, even with CUs.

More and more of them are being operated as banks, having strayed from co-op model.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:22 | 2342381 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Not only that, they've got their own "central bank" that has them all just as deep in the MBS mess as the real banks are. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Central_Credit_Union) The NCUA has also taken over corporate CUs loaded to the gills with worthless MBS paper. So, there's no real safety in a CU. You still have to subsidize the losses of other less reliable CUs. Or Uncle Sugar does, as MBSes brought the whole CU system to insolvency, adding them to the ranks of TBTF.

As someone who has always used CUs, I'm noting that the employees are also becoming more of the "could care less about you" banker type, since they too are getting squeezed out of existence due to ZIRP destroying the ability to earn a market rate on interest. Instead, they only know how to front-run free money from Uncle Sugar for the fees they can obtain.

In other news, I opened a new account yesterday for my minor daughter. Thanks to the Patriot Act, the amount of information required about me was staggering. Funny how "fighting terrorism" always comes at my expense.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:28 | 2342189 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Eat shit Blythe Masters

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:11 | 2342348 Shleprock
Shleprock's picture

She makes me enjoy Viagra!!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342191 Born-Again Bankster
Born-Again Bankster's picture

"Due to weakness in their student loan portfolio"


But with all the "new jobs" being created how the hell is this possible?  Must be an accounting glitch. 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:28 | 2342395 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'll start paying on mine again once they give me a reasonable rate and write-off the capitalized interest.

Charging kids 9% under the guise of "making the world a better place" is criminal.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!