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Egan Jones Downgrades JPMorgan

Tyler Durden's picture


The iconoclastic rating agency, and fully recognized NRSRO to the dismay of some tabloids, which just refuses to play by the status quo rules, and which downgraded the US for the second time last Friday, to be followed soon by other rating agencies as soon as US debt crosses the $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months, has just done the even more unthinkable and downgraded Fed boss JPMorgan from AA- to A+.

Synopsis: Reliance on prop trading and inv bkg income remain. LLR declines (down $1.7B QoQ and $3.87B YoY) offset DVA losses in the investment bank. Wholesale loans were up 23% YoY and 2% QoQ. Middle Mkt, Cmml Term, Corp Client and Cmml Real Estate lending increased by 9%, 2%, 16% and 19% YoY. Middle Mkt and Corp lending was up 2% and 3% QoQ respectively, while Cmml Term, and Cmml Real Estate lending were down 2%, and 9% respectively. Card and consumer loans were down 2% and 5% YoY respectively (down 5% and 1% QoQ respectively). Non accruals are up 14% QoQ due to weakness in JPM's student loan portfolio. Reserve coverage is good and capital is adequate. We believe JPM will experience further weakness in its retail portfolio due to a softening economy. We are downgrading.

Full report here.


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Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:25 | 2342171 SilverDosed
SilverDosed's picture

Haha, fuck you JPM.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342219 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

the time will soon come when blythe will have to peddle her cans at one of those asian massage parlors on wall street.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:56 | 2342309 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Is Blythe dating?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:07 | 2342337 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

.... soon and HFT.

Jamie needs sum collateral :-P

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:47 | 2342599 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Is Eagan Jones made up of terrorists?

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 09:38 | 2345204 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




JPM's shadow clients are the terrorists.


Better cart out Blythe for another interview.


Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2414860 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Ahhhhhh . . . how the other rating agencies hate Egan Jones.  Only ones doing the job for the people.  Rest of part of the scam plan

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2342633 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Yeah, she's considering dating Goldman because they took the Asymmetric Service Initiative.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:37 | 2342226 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Downgrade of an insolvent, FASB life support, corrupt bank? the game.  Bonuses will surely go up as a result.


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:26 | 2342174 Irish66
Irish66's picture

This made my week, thank you

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:51 | 2342291 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Concur 100%.  EJ must be home based in Iceland, the new Land of the Free.


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342177 seamus3500
seamus3500's picture

what about those deriviatives, jd?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:44 | 2342258 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why haven't you heard? They're fully hedged!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:52 | 2342295 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Great news.. who are they hedged with? 

...don't say Goldman Sacks, i can only handle so much laughter per calander month before my sides split

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:04 | 2342331 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Well then this might put you over the edge...

"JPM is in a stronger competitive position than it was before the financial crisis and significant franchise investments should enable the company to generate better relative revenue and earnings growth."

somehow, someway... 


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342181 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:27 | 2342182 tellsometruth
tellsometruth's picture


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:54 | 2342269 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

"Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp is an American action/adventure comedy series that originally aired on ABC from September 12, 1970, to September 2, 1972. The Saturday morning live-action film series featured a cast of chimpanzees given apparent speaking roles by overdubbing with human voices."

Who and where is Lancelot Link today?

The Fed? 

Jamie Dimon?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:55 | 2342306 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Not only was he a superb actor, Lance made a mean Mai-Tai.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:57 | 2342317 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I believe they forced the chimps to chew gum to make them look like they were talking.  They would outperform 99% of the elected officials today.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:20 | 2342366 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Lancelot Obama?


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:17 | 2342368 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

And the CNBC "blow-drys" and guests!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:28 | 2342184 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Debt crosses $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months'....didnt you say yesterday the bond auctions had brought us to $16.6 trillion already?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342196 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

$15.6 trillion. Must be a typo and easily checkable every single day at the following site.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342204 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh ok thanks, not accusing you of anything, just thought I had read that.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342213 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

...and that doesn't even begin to track unfunded liabilities.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:02 | 2342328 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, you're assuming they'll hold themselves liable in the future. Meanwhile, I'm assuming they'll spend money on FEMA camps instead.

How else will a Mad-Max world be prevented?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:39 | 2342238 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture


in case u dont have it.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:10 | 2342347 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea I do have it, just in one of the bond auction articles it said this puts us to $16.66 trillion in debt....funny and memorable  because of the 666 part...just a misprint.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 21:15 | 2343114 fuu
Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:38 | 2342227 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Best part from the site link:


How do you make a contribution to reduce the debt?

There are two ways for you to make a contribution to reduce the debt:

  • You can make a contribution online either by credit card, checking or savings account at
  • You can write a check payable to the Bureau of the Public Debt, and in the memo section, notate that it's a Gift to reduce the Debt Held by the Public. Mail your check to: 

    Attn Dept G
    Bureau of the Public Debt
    P. O. Box 2188
    Parkersburg, WV 26106-2188

Aaah yeah ... um check is in the mail Link


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:39 | 2342241 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Somebody needs to forward that link to Warren Buffet & Obama...


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:56 | 2342307 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

not those 2 tax cheats, sorry 'avoiders'

whatever next, a Treasury Secretary who can't fill out a tax form!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:04 | 2342332 tallen
tallen's picture

US Deficit: $1,327 billion

Warren Buffet Net worth: 44 Billion

Warren Buffet therefore could fund the US government for 12 days.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:18 | 2342369 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

The weeks approaching the $16.4T debt limit will bring omnipresent drama.  It won't sneak up on you.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342186 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The fuck you Jamie Dimon you punk!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:57 | 2342315 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

for once, a Credit Agency that doesn't slap AAA on garbage ...what a shocker (for the system)

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342187 connda
connda's picture

No problem.  The Fed can produce TARP money faster than you can say, "Flash Crash."


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:31 | 2342197 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Go for it, lets see $6 gas and people cant afford even generic foods going into the supposed election, I'd love to see it, bring it.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:08 | 2342341 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Oh, it's coming, Dog. (though probably not before the next 'selection,' as otherwise, Dr. Paul would get way too much attention)

Mises clearly demonstrated that there's no avoiding the results produced by a debt-based boom.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:11 | 2342351 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Well I dont think they can 'muddle thru' another 6 months without the wheels falling off.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:28 | 2342398 blu
blu's picture

About then yeah. The year 2012 will wind down as one long, continuous, wailing scream of collective horror.

Shit gets real, shortly after elections. Let's see then if they really have the guts to fire on their own.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2342628 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

'everyone' thought 'they' would hold things together after the Lehman collapse until after the elections in 2008.  That didn't work out so well, iirc...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342188 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Banks suck.

Credit Unions rock!

Credit Unions: free checking & low loan rates.

Banks: fees out the ass & high loan rates.





Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:58 | 2342318 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Be careful, even with CUs.

More and more of them are being operated as banks, having strayed from co-op model.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:22 | 2342381 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Not only that, they've got their own "central bank" that has them all just as deep in the MBS mess as the real banks are. ( The NCUA has also taken over corporate CUs loaded to the gills with worthless MBS paper. So, there's no real safety in a CU. You still have to subsidize the losses of other less reliable CUs. Or Uncle Sugar does, as MBSes brought the whole CU system to insolvency, adding them to the ranks of TBTF.

As someone who has always used CUs, I'm noting that the employees are also becoming more of the "could care less about you" banker type, since they too are getting squeezed out of existence due to ZIRP destroying the ability to earn a market rate on interest. Instead, they only know how to front-run free money from Uncle Sugar for the fees they can obtain.

In other news, I opened a new account yesterday for my minor daughter. Thanks to the Patriot Act, the amount of information required about me was staggering. Funny how "fighting terrorism" always comes at my expense.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:28 | 2342189 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Eat shit Blythe Masters

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:11 | 2342348 Shleprock
Shleprock's picture

She makes me enjoy Viagra!!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:29 | 2342191 Born-Again Bankster
Born-Again Bankster's picture

"Due to weakness in their student loan portfolio"


But with all the "new jobs" being created how the hell is this possible?  Must be an accounting glitch. 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:28 | 2342395 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'll start paying on mine again once they give me a reasonable rate and write-off the capitalized interest.

Charging kids 9% under the guise of "making the world a better place" is criminal.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:30 | 2342195 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

was this the only rating agency that didn't get commit fraud by rating dogshit triple A like Moodys and S&P?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:32 | 2342199 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Gerald Celente downgraded JP Morgue again this week on Alex Jones. He gives them the middle finger and the words of a not too well connected mafiaso wannabe. May his soul be vindicated.

No he is still alive and will likely downgrade JP Morgue in whatever upcoming interviews he has. He has also downgraded the FED, Ben Bernanke in particular, GS, Technocrats, Obama, the DHS, any banker in general, the TSA and other vermin that crawl upon the earth.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:44 | 2342259 IToldYouSo
IToldYouSo's picture

poetically put sir, with respect +1 :)

(new keyboard ordered!)

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:33 | 2342201 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

The old man must be turning in his grave... On second thought his off-spring are probably angling for a big fat juicy BAILOUT!!!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:41 | 2342248 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Bailout, indeed!

Remember, all banks will be destroyed due to the neccesity of ZIRP to keep up the appearance of a functional government (they have no choice but to eliminate debt service costs when staring into the world of infinitely-rolled debt).

At the same time, the TBTF entities will have to be propped up in order to maintain the appearance of a functional private financial system (otherwise, it's Jubilee time, and the banks simply vanish, along with the credibility of governments).

This "rock and a hard place" scenario suits JPM well, just like the old man would've wanted.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:41 | 2342588 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

The old man was nothing more than an overseas branch manager.

The rabbit hole runs deep.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:32 | 2342206 blu
blu's picture

And so the lie begins to unwind. A little at first, and then all at once.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:32 | 2342208 Let The Wurlitz...
Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

Egan Jones for president!!!

Yes the whole damn firm.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:35 | 2342217 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

achillesMacRis has now provided theMorgue with a profit! (nominal losses on their outstanding debt)

those swaps are tops, BiCheZ!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:36 | 2342221 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

you rock EJ!


Fuck you Jamie!  Eat it!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:38 | 2342233 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

What's this world coming to? When rating agencies start telling the truth....was there a blue moon last night?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:31 | 2342411 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Or perhaps a false-flag on Monday?

All hail the power of the glorious memory-hole!

Air your dirty laundry now, while there's still time. I just wonder if someone can beat Rumsfeld's $1T-$3T "we lost the money" mea culpa?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:39 | 2342242 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

Egan Jones doesn't count because.. something something old boys club.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:40 | 2342245 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

egad - should have let Zerohedge on the conference call

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:43 | 2342257 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

Good job Egan or Jones!!!


Time to use those monster cojones on the Federal Reserve,imo. I mean if you are going to downgrade US and JPMugger then you really MUST downgrade the FED.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:44 | 2342260 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Meanwhile, MW, being the MSM whores that they are, ran this story this morning:

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:47 | 2342268 StockHut
StockHut's picture

Egan Jones is a martyr.  God bless them

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:48 | 2342274 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Someone might want to tell the brain trusts over at Bloomberg tv and CNBC.  The were pumping JPM so hard this morning I almost put a parental lock on those channels.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:59 | 2342321 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

"Music to my ears", I believe it was the actual wording used by a Bloomberg's morning guest who talked/panegyrized about Dimon's earnings call. 

You throw up in your mouth a little bit at times, but you eventually get used to it. 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:22 | 2342379 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

It eventually eats away at your esophagus.  Better have it looked at.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:48 | 2342276 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

Egan Jones is now officially in the cross hairs.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:50 | 2342278 digalert
digalert's picture

Crash JPM buy silver!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:51 | 2342288 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Tie up Jamie and Blythe together, dip them in honey and let ithe insects do the rest....

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:45 | 2342445 spentCartridge
spentCartridge's picture

Scaphism :)

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 13:51 | 2342292 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Made my day! :)  

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:01 | 2342325 SDRII
SDRII's picture

Best Buy CEO chased out for a 29 yr old. WFC CFO disappeared...silence.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:08 | 2342343 Decolat
Decolat's picture

'due to a softening economy...'

How does the economy soften while in a recovery?

How does the economy recover while softening?

Either way, it doesn't.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:19 | 2342373 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 14:23 | 2342382 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

His mommy is not going to be happy about this.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:07 | 2342494 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

So when does JPM get a margin call on the buzillion in derivatives they are holding?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:14 | 2342508 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Wait... what's lower than whale shit?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2342536 CURWAR2012
CURWAR2012's picture

Is this why margin requirments are lower on the metals/commodities exchanges?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:25 | 2342540 suckerfishzilla
suckerfishzilla's picture

There's no blood in the water.  It's just a scratch looks like. 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2342690 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

And this is what the incompetent Fitch has to say:


04-13 15:51: Fitch says JP Morgan's (JPM) solid Q1 2012 earnings performance...


All good baby, all good. Just like sub prime was...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:34 | 2342903 onlooker
onlooker's picture

Friday the 13th good news day. My wife said this morning it was going to be a good day, and EJ beats up JPM and it is sweet. Cheers

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 20:18 | 2345884 papaclop
papaclop's picture

JP Morgan should be downgraded.... they are short millions of ounces of Silver in the commodities market.  Besides being market manipulating CROOKS, they are going to lose their asses when the physical market overwhelms them.  They will then come to Uncle Sam for yet another bailout.   What a bunch of scumbag crooks!

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 16:58 | 2418674 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Being short silver and gold is amazingly rewarding these days. You can't blame JPM to be on the right side of the trade.

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:54 | 2415928 Shazam342
Shazam342's picture

Well, now that JPM is losing power trying to constrain gold/Silver physical demand,I wonder who the Fed will tap to take over the manipulation  role now?

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