Egan Jones Downgrades JPMorgan

Tyler Durden's picture

The iconoclastic rating agency, and fully recognized NRSRO to the dismay of some tabloids, which just refuses to play by the status quo rules, and which downgraded the US for the second time last Friday, to be followed soon by other rating agencies as soon as US debt crosses the $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months, has just done the even more unthinkable and downgraded Fed boss JPMorgan from AA- to A+.

Synopsis: Reliance on prop trading and inv bkg income remain. LLR declines (down $1.7B QoQ and $3.87B YoY) offset DVA losses in the investment bank. Wholesale loans were up 23% YoY and 2% QoQ. Middle Mkt, Cmml Term, Corp Client and Cmml Real Estate lending increased by 9%, 2%, 16% and 19% YoY. Middle Mkt and Corp lending was up 2% and 3% QoQ respectively, while Cmml Term, and Cmml Real Estate lending were down 2%, and 9% respectively. Card and consumer loans were down 2% and 5% YoY respectively (down 5% and 1% QoQ respectively). Non accruals are up 14% QoQ due to weakness in JPM's student loan portfolio. Reserve coverage is good and capital is adequate. We believe JPM will experience further weakness in its retail portfolio due to a softening economy. We are downgrading.

Full report here.

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SilverDosed's picture

Haha, fuck you JPM.

Ahmeexnal's picture

the time will soon come when blythe will have to peddle her cans at one of those asian massage parlors on wall street.

NoClueSneaker's picture

.... soon and HFT.

Jamie needs sum collateral :-P

Fukushima Sam's picture

Is Eagan Jones made up of terrorists?

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

JPM's shadow clients are the terrorists.

 

Better cart out Blythe for another interview.

 

CClarity's picture

Ahhhhhh . . . how the other rating agencies hate Egan Jones.  Only ones doing the job for the people.  Rest of part of the scam plan

piceridu's picture

Yeah, she's considering dating Goldman because they took the Asymmetric Service Initiative.

nope-1004's picture

Downgrade of an insolvent, FASB life support, corrupt bank?  Ok.....play the game.  Bonuses will surely go up as a result.

 

Irish66's picture

This made my week, thank you

cossack55's picture

Concur 100%.  EJ must be home based in Iceland, the new Land of the Free.

 

seamus3500's picture

what about those deriviatives, jd?

NotApplicable's picture

Why haven't you heard? They're fully hedged!

Zero Govt's picture

Great news.. who are they hedged with? 

...don't say Goldman Sacks, i can only handle so much laughter per calander month before my sides split

t_kAyk's picture

Well then this might put you over the edge...

  http://online.barrons.com/article/SB50001424053111904857404577341852857487514.html?mod=BOL_hpp_highlight_top

"JPM is in a stronger competitive position than it was before the financial crisis and significant franchise investments should enable the company to generate better relative revenue and earnings growth."

somehow, someway... 

bullish. 

Sudden Debt's picture

Whoehahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

GOSPLAN HERO's picture

"Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp is an American action/adventure comedy series that originally aired on ABC from September 12, 1970, to September 2, 1972. The Saturday morning live-action film series featured a cast of chimpanzees given apparent speaking roles by overdubbing with human voices."

Who and where is Lancelot Link today?

The Fed? 

Jamie Dimon?

Schmuck Raker's picture

Not only was he a superb actor, Lance made a mean Mai-Tai.

insanelysane's picture

I believe they forced the chimps to chew gum to make them look like they were talking.  They would outperform 99% of the elected officials today.

Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

And the CNBC "blow-drys" and guests!

SheepDog-One's picture

'Debt crosses $16.4 trillion threshold in a few short months'....didnt you say yesterday the bond auctions had brought us to $16.6 trillion already?

Tyler Durden's picture

$15.6 trillion. Must be a typo and easily checkable every single day at the following site.

SheepDog-One's picture

Oh ok thanks, not accusing you of anything, just thought I had read that.

LongSoupLine's picture

...and that doesn't even begin to track unfunded liabilities.

NotApplicable's picture

Well, you're assuming they'll hold themselves liable in the future. Meanwhile, I'm assuming they'll spend money on FEMA camps instead.

How else will a Mad-Max world be prevented?

SheepDog-One's picture

Yea I do have it, just in one of the bond auction articles it said this puts us to $16.66 trillion in debt....funny and memorable  because of the 666 part...just a misprint.

Taint Boil's picture

 

 

Best part from the site link:

 

How do you make a contribution to reduce the debt?

There are two ways for you to make a contribution to reduce the debt:

  • You can make a contribution online either by credit card, checking or savings account at Pay.gov
  • You can write a check payable to the Bureau of the Public Debt, and in the memo section, notate that it's a Gift to reduce the Debt Held by the Public. Mail your check to: 

    Attn Dept G
    Bureau of the Public Debt
    P. O. Box 2188
    Parkersburg, WV 26106-2188

Aaah yeah ... um check is in the mail Link

 

Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Somebody needs to forward that link to Warren Buffet & Obama...

 

Zero Govt's picture

not those 2 tax cheats, sorry 'avoiders'

whatever next, a Treasury Secretary who can't fill out a tax form!

tallen's picture

US Deficit: $1,327 billion

Warren Buffet Net worth: 44 Billion


Warren Buffet therefore could fund the US government for 12 days.

gaoptimize's picture

The weeks approaching the $16.4T debt limit will bring omnipresent drama.  It won't sneak up on you.

SheepDog-One's picture

The Morgue....lol fuck you Jamie Dimon you punk!

Zero Govt's picture

for once, a Credit Agency that doesn't slap AAA on garbage ...what a shocker (for the system)

connda's picture

No problem.  The Fed can produce TARP money faster than you can say, "Flash Crash."

 

SheepDog-One's picture

Go for it, lets see $6 gas and people cant afford even generic foods going into the supposed election, I'd love to see it, bring it.

NotApplicable's picture

Oh, it's coming, Dog. (though probably not before the next 'selection,' as otherwise, Dr. Paul would get way too much attention)

Mises clearly demonstrated that there's no avoiding the results produced by a debt-based boom.

SheepDog-One's picture

Well I dont think they can 'muddle thru' another 6 months without the wheels falling off.

blu's picture

About then yeah. The year 2012 will wind down as one long, continuous, wailing scream of collective horror.

Shit gets real, shortly after elections. Let's see then if they really have the guts to fire on their own.

SokPOTUS's picture

'everyone' thought 'they' would hold things together after the Lehman collapse until after the elections in 2008.  That didn't work out so well, iirc...

GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Banks suck.

Credit Unions rock!

Credit Unions: free checking & low loan rates.

Banks: fees out the ass & high loan rates.

 

 

 

 

Schmuck Raker's picture

Be careful, even with CUs.

More and more of them are being operated as banks, having strayed from co-op model.

NotApplicable's picture

Not only that, they've got their own "central bank" that has them all just as deep in the MBS mess as the real banks are. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Central_Credit_Union) The NCUA has also taken over corporate CUs loaded to the gills with worthless MBS paper. So, there's no real safety in a CU. You still have to subsidize the losses of other less reliable CUs. Or Uncle Sugar does, as MBSes brought the whole CU system to insolvency, adding them to the ranks of TBTF.

As someone who has always used CUs, I'm noting that the employees are also becoming more of the "could care less about you" banker type, since they too are getting squeezed out of existence due to ZIRP destroying the ability to earn a market rate on interest. Instead, they only know how to front-run free money from Uncle Sugar for the fees they can obtain.

In other news, I opened a new account yesterday for my minor daughter. Thanks to the Patriot Act, the amount of information required about me was staggering. Funny how "fighting terrorism" always comes at my expense.

Mongo's picture

Eat shit Blythe Masters

Shleprock's picture

She makes me enjoy Viagra!!

Born-Again Bankster's picture

"Due to weakness in their student loan portfolio"

 

But with all the "new jobs" being created how the hell is this possible?  Must be an accounting glitch. 

NotApplicable's picture

I'll start paying on mine again once they give me a reasonable rate and write-off the capitalized interest.

Charging kids 9% under the guise of "making the world a better place" is criminal.