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The Epic Farce Continues - US Attorneys General "Robosigned" A Foreclosure Settlement Which Does Not Exist

Tyler Durden's picture


It is only appropriate, and so ironic, that a politically motivated settlement whose purpose is to squash any claims of pervasive defective document fraud (and contract law but just ask GM bondholders about that - it's hardly news) is itself found to be... defective. American Banker reports that the reason why the terms of the so-called historic (just ask the Teleprompter in Chief) foreclosure settlement deal are not public yet, is "because a fully authorized, legally binding deal has not been inked yet." Wait, so America's cohort of AGs just all, pardon the pun, robosigned a piece of paper that does not exist? What next: there is a different Linda Green signature on every page of this yet to be produced document making a complete mockery of the rule of law?

Oh and anyone who had doubts that the settlement, which incidentally is paid for by you, dear taxpayers, in the form of bank bailout cash, of which the banks still owe over $10 billion in some capacity, was merely a political ploy to get taxpayers to fund Obama's reelection campaign by subsidizing squatters with $2,000 per vote in the presidential race come November, using banks as intermediaries to make the administration seem oh so powerful and daring to take on the banks, who in fact are the only ones benefiting from this farce, by holding a gun to the head of the hold out AGs forcing them to sign a piece of paper that does not even exist, this should put all those doubts to rest.

American Banker has the story:

The implication of this is hard to say. Spokespersons for both the Iowa attorney general's office and the Department of Justice both told American Banker that the actual settlement will not be made public until it is submitted to a court. A representative for the North Carolina attorney general downplayed the significance of the document's non-final status, saying that the terms were already fixed.


Other sources who spoke with American Banker raised doubts that everything is yet in place. A person familiar with the mortgage servicing pact says that a settlement term sheet does not yet exist. Instead, there are a series of nearly-complete documents that will be attached to a consent judgment eventually filed with the court. That truly final version will include things such as servicing standards, consumer relief options, legal releases, and enforcement terms. There will likely be separate state and a federal versions of the release.


Some who talked to American Banker said that the political pressure to announce the settlement drove the timing, in effect putting the press release cart in front of the settlement horse.


Whatever the reason for the document's continued non-appearance, the lack of a public final settlement is already the cause for disgruntlement among those who closely follow the banking industry. Quite simply, the actual terms of a settlement matter.


"The devil's in the details," says Ron Glancz, chairman of law firm Venable LLP's Financial Services Group. "Until you see the document you're never quite sure what your rights are."


"It's frustrating," agrees Stern Agee analyst John Nadel. "But it's not unlike anything else that's been going on in financial reform generally, is it?"

That's about right - ever since America became a centrally planned, communist, banana republic with occasional fascist overtones, financial reform in the US is all about frustration: primarily frustrating one out of the will to continue living in a country that would make Stalin green with envy.

American Banker asked The Department of Justice, the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the offices of Attorneys General in Iowa, North Carolina and Colorado for a copy of the settlement last night. Only Iowa, North Carolina and the Department of Justice have responded, saying that the document would not be available until it is filed with the court on a yet-undetermined date.

Kidding aside, can the bankers who are getting "punished" as part of this deal, please advise the public and the AGs who punished them, just when they plan on releasing the final draft?

All we can say is: Linda Green.



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Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:04 | 2147303 transaccountin
transaccountin's picture


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:13 | 2147350 redpill
redpill's picture

Maybe Linda Green is a vampire squid with 15 tentacles and each one writes a bit differently?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:22 | 2147402 LuKOsro
LuKOsro's picture

Doesn`t matter, had mortgage.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:31 | 2147447 Upswaller
Upswaller's picture

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
--Thomas Jefferson

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:08 | 2147598 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



I think it's also important to remember Rick Santelli's rant from a couple years back, which popularized the Tea Party movement.  Struggling middle class families who can't pay their mortgages are "losers." 

Apparently, deflecting the blame away from Wall Street and onto the middle class "losers" really resonated with the Tea Party. They loved it! That rant was the initial spark which flamed all sorts of class warfare rhetoric that ensued afterwards; it got the Tea Party all fired up, like marching orders to go hate everyone.

Fucking Losers! Go Rick!

Identifying the losers is the first step to understanding the foreclosure crisis.  Go Tea Party!


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:35 | 2147691 zorbathefreak
zorbathefreak's picture

Keep smoking that schwag, homegirl!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:27 | 2147850 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



I prefer the opium dens in Bangkok and Hong Kong.  I'm there 3 times a year. 

Funny story actually..... in 2005, I was smoking some gooey black tar in a whore house in Bangkok, when a whole group of bankers from Julius Baer, HSBC, and CSuisse walk in.  Apparently, they were having some sort of conference for operations in SE Asia.  Smoked opium with them, got some hookers.......good times. lol  True story.

Max Fischer, Civis Mundi



Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:34 | 2147873 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Keep it up. transparency will expose the corrupt elite.


Banks try so hard to appear prestigious. Real story is bankers, banking, wall st.  is just all big SCAM! go back to being a government job.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 22:18 | 2148466 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You used whore house and Bankok in the same sentence...Beavith.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:38 | 2147705 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Imma get dat bitch some class warfare.  Bitchez love class warfare.

Sun, 02/12/2012 - 07:04 | 2150518 foofoojin
foofoojin's picture

Where does that play of words come from? I only know the "get that bitch a canon, Bitches love canons!" from the Hellsing parody.


NSFW link to the Hellsing parody that makes me laugh till I cry. contains animated violence and amazingly awesome prose intermixed with a lot of f-bombs and graphic language.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:00 | 2147762 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

Max, sorry you made a bad home deal. Please tell us about it. Explain how you need or deserve OPM.

(BTW, the banks should be BK and banksters in jail, IMHO. Whether they are or aren't does not change the culpability of borrowers who entered bad home deals.) 

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147630 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"The devil's in the details," says Ron Glancz, chairman of law firm Venable LLP's Financial Services Group. "Until you see the document you're never quite sure what your PRIVILEGES are."


So I went to the pretend website ( to see all the pretty graphics and saw the happy white people tossing their daughter to the street. Then I wondered, just how long has this thing been on the table? So I go over to NSI and look them up (, and see that the domain was registered on 2/1/12. JIT propaganda!

Then there's the registering company, "Moniker Privacy Service" which is out of Pompano Beach, FL. Looks like they're keeping the cover-up op very near the scene of the crime. Must be a family operation, no?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2147716 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I thought you and Tyler understood.  This is the new Nancy Piglosi kind of law.

First you sign on the dotted line, then the nice Chicagah thugs decide what you just signed up for.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:10 | 2147802 Obadiah
Obadiah's picture

Good call NA good research!!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:10 | 2147804 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

They didn't even spend the money for a higher quality photo of "Cute Young Couple and Child with Beautiful Home" 

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 22:28 | 2148479 rookie
rookie's picture

Your post is why I love zerohedge...thanks...unbelievable!

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 10:30 | 2149045 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Nice work, NA, but, just for the record, Moniker is a straight-up organization, a solid registrar (I have five domains registered with them) with excellent prices and great customer service.

Actually, choosing them as registrar was a rare good choice by the boyz from .gov.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:16 | 2147633 three chord sloth
three chord sloth's picture

Foothold? More like stranglehold.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:03 | 2147777 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I got you in a stranglehold, baby.

And then I crushed your face!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:17 | 2147637 Cole Younger
Cole Younger's picture

Yep...but I don't see Congress (democrats or republicans) complaining or doing anything about this. Tells you where there loyalties lie...with the campaign financers...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 20:52 | 2148234 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

Uhhhh - no.

Actually, Obama vetoed it, and his veto stuck.  Congressional Republicans voted 167 for, 5 against, in unsucessfully trying to overturn his veto.  Look up HR3808.  That's why it came down to a negotiated agreement with the various state's attorneys general.  Congressional Republicans wanted to give the bankers the pass for free.

Democrats are corrupt, yes, but the GOP is way worse.  There is a difference, and if you ignore it in your voting, you're sending the signal that corruption doesn't matter to the voters.

John Boehner and his GOP made this happen, for their banker buddies.  I'm sure he had a good cry about it first, though.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:31 | 2147680 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Wow they just make themselves look worse and worse everyday.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:29 | 2147437 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

She just has to be related to Lloyd somehow. Or the Bernank. It wouild explain everything.

But I thought the M.I.B. crew kept them all contained to NYC?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147627 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Linda Green for President.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:38 | 2147704 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

This isn't about 'free houses.'

Any person with an IQ above 80 knows that they need to pay their bills for items they purchase.

There is an element of priority at stake, which trumps the sentence above - i.e. in other words, could even reward deadbeats, because it's that important.

What is this element of priority at stake?

It's called the rule of law.

Can fabricating documents from wholecloth or materially altering documents pertaining to real property, fraudulenty signing those fabricated documents, thus swearing under penalty of perjury that one is a bona fide owner of title to real estate, not only be able to pass without civil and criminal sanctions, but be allowed to pass AND be given legitimacy, ex post facto?

If so, what other things can/will be treated in such a manner, now and in the future?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:49 | 2147739 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

FTMFW! Couldn't have said it better myself, TIS.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:09 | 2147798 blindman
blindman's picture
Ralph Nader talks with Andrew Napolitano part 1

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 20:59 | 2148279 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Like MF Global, it's all that matters. Trust is gone for any one with two or more brain cells functioning.

It's really sad.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 04:20 | 2148856 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Laws and Taxes are for Peons and Peasants.

Just ask Jon ($1.2Billion in customer trust funds "VAPORIZED") Corzine, CONgressman Charlie (oops I forgot about that rental income) Wrangle, Timmah (I don't know how to work TurboTax) Geithner, GE Corp (made $7+ billion, paid no income tax), Leona ("We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes") Helmsley, former South Dakota Senator Tom (didn't file and pay taxes of $128,203 from 2005 thru 2007) Daschle. You all get the point - now sing in chorus, Baaaaaaa, Baaaaaaaa and let your owners slip your hind legs into their boots.

RULE OF LAW????? The only rule of law we will ever know is having our guns and gold confiscated when Homeland Security takes us away in the middle of the night, with accusations of terrorism for posting on ZH.

Our Homeland has been hijacked by thugs and gangsters, and that's our government.

I look forward to meeting you all at the newly expanded GITMO facilities.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:31 | 2147446 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

The "Henrietta Lacks" (HeLa) of mortgages...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:38 | 2147475 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

You gotta laugh at the Brent Bagley one.  The first one is clearly left-handed, and all the rest are right-handed.  For the love of God, when can we start the public executions?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:14 | 2147619 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Modern bankers and the polital elites are very busy people.  They cannot be trifled with legacy-legalities such as physically signing something.



Fri, 02/10/2012 - 20:11 | 2148142 Archon7
Archon7's picture

Or maybe a vampire squid with multiple personalities?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:17 | 2147378 macholatte
macholatte's picture



During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
George Orwell

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Oscar Wilde

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
Abraham Lincoln


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:21 | 2147398 Shocker
Shocker's picture

Wow that really opens your eyes a little.

Great Post ZH, really makes you step back and say WTF.

Amazing all this mess was created, and now everyone has to pay for it, on every level


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:05 | 2147585 Precious
Precious's picture




When you consider your vote this fall, you are not just voting against Obama.

You are far more importantly voting against all the liberal stooges in his sick administration starting with the DHS and DOJ.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:24 | 2147641 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

How clueless can you get?  The GOP led the charge on this mortgage fraud settlement.

Obama vetoed the bill, and made it stick.  Republicans in the House voted 169 for and 5 against, in trying unsucessfully to override his veto.

John Boehner and his GOP made this happen, for their banker buddies.  I'm sure he had a good cry about it first, though.

Your wetdream Romney is being brought in to do for America what he did for every company that Bain bought - stuff all the loose cash in his pockets, drop everyone down to minimum wage, load the place up with debt, and leave town.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:28 | 2147667 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I was wondering where you've been. What's the matter, get tired of your drum circle?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 20:51 | 2148248 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

Wow - you can't even construct the vaguest shred of a logical counterargument, can you?

A mental giant.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:27 | 2147662 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, until the next one comes along, that is.

Silly statists. Who else could ever believe that criminals are best suited to run the world?

"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"

Here's a clue. If you believe in the US Constitution then voting is TREASON, as it legitimizes a wholly unconstitutional form of government. By voting, you do nothing but to reaffirm the system of criminality that gained a choke-hold upon everyone in 1913.

Of course, if you believed in liberty, you wouldn't vote either, as there is nothing moral about enslaving one person under the rule of another. It's merely a passive form of violence that you've delegated to others, even though you've never had the right to it yourself.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 04:38 | 2148864 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Two very good, and worth thinking about, points. The 2nd point is easy to digest, the 1st requires more thought.

Still, for all the 'voting' WE do, it seems we get less representation as time passes.

And 1913 was the deathknell of liberty in the USA.

I wonder what put people to sleep in 1900 and 1910 that they gave up being vigilant against tryanny in government.

My father who was born in 1916 totally believed that the government could do no wrong but I believe my great grandfather would be disappointed in me in not acting on Jeffersons words of "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants"

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:32 | 2147449 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Spot on! I never thought of Mr. Lincoln as being a prophet, now I will put him right up there with Edgar Cayce and Nostradamus.

Thank you for the Quotes

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2147715 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Of course, it was his own inability to be bound by a constitution that led him to invoke a war that destroyed the Union, in order to save it. But no, he had to invade, which means he had to pay troops, which means he had to go hat in hand to the banksters begging for cash. They gave him what he considered unacceptable terms, so he printed his own money instead, and they killed him for it.

Meanwhile, a peaceful man would've avoided war, and allowed voluntary secession, then worked to restore relationships in the aftermath (strengthening the Union in the process, as the fraud was dealt with). But no, to him everything was non-negotiable, thus setting the stage for yet another European proxy war in N. America.

So, if only he'd been a man of peace, he wouldn't have even needed to cross swords with the banksters. Instead, he was done in by his own evil.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2147486 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

President Obama Contraception Mandate Statement (6:51)

Obama sums up (in Orwellian?) @3:20
"...& that I promised, that before finalizing the rule as it applied to them... "

i read, i wish you'd shut the fuck up. yah, i get that.
...ahhh,,, that was a tad cruel so here's..
a little gentle something to help balance that out... sort of..
Who loves yah baby?
Think about them apples.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:05 | 2147560 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

Obama? Maybe check with reality? The GOP led the charge on this mortgage fraud settlement.

Obama vetoed the bill, and made it stick.  Republicans in the House voted 169 for and 5 against, in trying unsucessfully to override his veto.

John Boehner and his GOP made this happen, for their banker buddies.  I'm sure he had a good cry about it first, though.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 01:39 | 2148778 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Look, we get that you have some sort of hard-on for the Obamatron, but yer reply has NOTHING to do with Goldilocks' comment!

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 11:18 | 2149080 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Cut and paste function is on autodrive. Sometimes happens with my computer too.

Try tapping on the key pad, sometimes those twinkie crumbs get all mashed up underneath.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:54 | 2147544 grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

Many AGs are elected and don't want to sign a document that waives $1 trillion of criminality with a mere $25 billion of hush money and no admission of wrongdoing. 

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:48 | 2147734 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Problem is, they aren't elected so much as they are selected. Any holdouts are merely bargaining for more support so their selection remains credible within the MSM.

I expect all of them to sign, except maybe one or two of the insignificant ones, which will be controlled opposition to fill a void where otherwise real criticism would be.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:38 | 2147380 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

They're going to need to bring the signatories to the Bill of Rights back from the dead, to amend that document (at least in pertinent parts, with a focus on the Fifth Amendment [and the 7th]), before they can finalize the settlement.

This may take some years. Science isn't there yet.

Has anyone seen the Time Masheen?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:19 | 2147389 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Anybody on here a Lawyer? Lets takem to court! We have rights!!!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:30 | 2147440 fishface
fishface's picture

exactly + 1000

question is how many documents contracts and perhaps laws as well are invalid because of forged signatures.

This is not robo signing where a computer signs with a scaned signature these are people forging signatures. I think you go to jail for that.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:55 | 2147548 pods
pods's picture

You or I, yes.  Them,  not so much.  Forgery is only a minor felony.

Don't make me beat you till you're happy!


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:56 | 2147554 pods
pods's picture

Well, when you enter their court you most certainly will waive your rights.  Unless of course you can open up a court of record to maintain them.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2147724 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

LOL "We have rights" Really. Read the NDAA lately?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:14 | 2147814 GCT
GCT's picture

The state AG's just screwed your court of law suit.  Fed law trumps state law once they sign on.  I wonder how much extra money is going to be shoveled into CA, NY , and Fl now they have backed off and sold their people down the river.  Good luck sueing now!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:43 | 2147499 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Take any day of the last 11 years and construct a screen play based on the fin headlines and you would be laughed out of the room.


The "real" is not to be believed even as fiction.


The country is lost.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:05 | 2147309 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

This space is reserved...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:07 | 2147321 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

I'm a jackass that types LOL*

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:39 | 2147481 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:52 | 2147536 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Eek.  THAT is hideous.  Almost lost my lunch...but good work!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:44 | 2147728 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Thanx William.  I could stand to lose a few pounds.  That image will keep me off my feed for a week;

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:10 | 2147574 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

Again, time for a little check with reality.

Long before you should lampoon Holder, try "Weepy John" Boehner and his group of toadies.  The GOP led the charge on this mortgage fraud settlement.

Obama vetoed HR3808, and made it stick.  Republicans in the House voted 169 for and 5 against, in trying unsucessfully to override his veto.

Obama is corrupt, but he's nothing compared to Boehner.  The GOP made this happen, for their banker buddies.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:22 | 2147647 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Don't tell me who to lampoon and when, I don't play any favorites.

This week's morons are on this week's menu.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2147697 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Yesterday PulpCutter was going from thread to thread -telling- people to vote straight Democrat next elections including Obama. He probably has a poster of Holder in his bedroom that he kisses goodnight so you made him cry. It was pointed out to him on numerous occasions by various people that ZH readers are not paralyzed nor rendered stupid by the false right/left paradigm and he should go back to DailyKoS.

In either event, thanks again for your work that is so important to many of us. You do what you do best.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:46 | 2147732 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I'm being polite to someone who obviously has little or no grasp of the big picture. ;-)

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:51 | 2147742 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Oh, he's grasping a big pitcher...

of Kool-Aid.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:27 | 2147848 RSloane
RSloane's picture

You are an artist who helps us see the big picture, and whether or not we laugh, cry, choke, or slide off our computer chairs is up to us. You have no sacred icons nor sacred people that shouldn't be examined or mocked and that helps the rest of us keep things in perspective. There should be nothing sacred in politics and you remind us of that, sometimes with a poke in the eye.

Yes, you were being polite to someone who should have also extended that courtesy to you and not dictate what you should do and not do. He can't see the big picture because he only sees one thing and he's splattered it with glitter and rainbows.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:45 | 2147919 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

and no sense of humor.  I love your stuff.  Keep up the good work!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:17 | 2147821 GCT
GCT's picture

Williambanzai that scared me and made me laugh at the same time.  People that buy the party line will always call you names, but over the last year watching your great posts you definitely do not hold to either party line.  Refreshing to know someone see both parties are screwing us.

SALUTE to you keep em coming.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 22:31 | 2148429 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

"Don't tell me who to lampoon and when, I don't play any favorites.

This week's morons are on this week's menu."

 Right.  Obama vetoed the mortgage fraud settlement bill.  The GOP voted 167 for, 5 against, in an unsucessful bid to overturn his veto, and give the robosigners a get out of jail free card.  The upheld veto forced red state attorneys general to push it through.  But you blame Holder.

I sincerely hope you're politically biased...because otherwise it's YOU who is the moron.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 00:01 | 2148649 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Let me assure you that that confused piece of Capital Hill trash was not a get out of jail free card.

Q: Mr POTUS, what did you do to clean up the biggest Wall Street fraudfest in history.

A: I vetoed HR 3808

The get out of jail free card is sitting in the Whitehouse keeping the tub warm for his wannabe replacement Mitt Obamney and you are painting yourself into a moron's corner.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 00:03 | 2148662 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Obamney and Rombama both have Goldman Sachs dribbling down the front of their pants.  It really is disgusting.




Sat, 02/11/2012 - 11:54 | 2149114 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture


Sounds great - how do you propose to do it? 

If principles and integrity were all it took to get elected, Ron Paul would have been in office in 2009.  Ross Perot would have won in '92 (or was that '88).  Carter would have had two terms.

But, reality is that what it takes is a majority of the votes (electoral college).  That takes money, partly because we're a big country with many viewpoints, but mainly because the most effective technique in politics is the negative TV ad.  Money means corporate sponsors, and big money means WallSt corporate sponsors.  If Obama wants to stay in office, he needs to tread very carefully when it comes to rules that apply to WallSt. Sucks massively, but it's reality.  The only way to change things is to work with the hand you're dealt.

The simple facts are: If you don't vote for the less-corrupt party, you're sending the message that corruption doesn't matter.  If you don't vote at all, you're sending the message that you don't care - in fact, that's precisely the power vacuum that lets corporate money and the special interest groups hold so much power.  Americans have the lowest % voter turnout in the world.; 50% in presidential years, as low as 30% on the midterm elections - the rest of the world is typically 75-90%(

The big WallSt investment banks, for all their money, don't get a single vote. We can start turning this around - or we can keep whining and posting childish caricatures on the Internet. 

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 10:02 | 2149014 mojine
mojine's picture

PulpCutter just like Honey Badger. He don't care! Oohh- there he goes running backward again!

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 13:22 | 2149101 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

"Let me assure you that that confused piece of Capital Hill trash was not a get out of jail free card."

WB7 - let me guess: "hospitality-management" major, in college? Wow is that a weak effort, with zero logic or data presented to back it up.  The facts are below. 

Here's 'Tyler Durden' on HR3808:  "it appears that the get out of jail card for the banking syndicate has once again materialized, this time in the form of bill HR3808"

Here's Naked Capitalism:  "Rather than deal with the considerable consequences of [foreclosure] abuses, the banks are prepared to bulldoze well settled state laws to give them an easy way out

(HR3808: The Interstate Recognition of Notarizations (IRON) Act of 2010 would have required “any Federal or State court to recognize any notarization made by a notary public licensed by a State other than the State where the court is located when such notarization occurs in or affects interstate commerce.”)

The objective facts are that HR3803 WAS for all intents and purposes a get-out-of-jail-free card, that the Republicans led the charge on.  Obama vetoed it, and made the veto stick.  The GOP voted 162 for, 5 against, unsucessfully trying to overturn the veto for their bankers buddies.

The facts are that the Republicans have led the charge on virtually every issue that concerns ZeroHedge readers:

Gramm-Leach-Bliley (overturned Glass-Steagall) Senate vote tally: 54 yes (53 Republicans, 1 Democrat), 44 no

Dodd-Frank (weak piece of crap, but the Republicans vetoed anything stronger): 60 yes (57 Democrats, 3 Republicans); 39 no (all Republicans)

USA 'Patriot' Act 2006 extension: Senate 89 for, 10 against (all 10 against were Democrat); House 357 for, 66 against (63 Democrats, 3 Republicans  - GO RON PAUL).

Iraq War Resolution: 133 against; 126 Democrats, 6 Republicans

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:05 | 2147787 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

"Obama is corrupt, but he's nothing compared to Boehner."

So it's okay to have a corrupt President as long as they are less corrupt than their political oppostion?


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:21 | 2147823 Struan
Struan's picture

Wow, he had that rethoric here in Romania since long ago. Intelligence Service Manipulation.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 22:07 | 2148315 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

"So it's okay to have a corrupt President as long as they are less corrupt than their political oppostion?


Uhhhh...yeah that would be the idea behind having the right to vote, unless you have a better solution.  Ever hear of "reality"?

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 01:04 | 2148741 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Dude, you sound like a guy with a processor that can only cut the marked timber.

The only way said guy can process anything is to have the path clearly marked for him, decisions made by "people who know."

Try climbing down out of your glass-box on tracks, and get a better perspective of the forest, not just the trees with big, orange stripes and stump-marks.

You might just figure out why those trees have been marked.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 13:09 | 2149128 PulpCutter
PulpCutter's picture

Yeah, we can chant "you can't see the forest for the trees" back and forth and it'll get us nowhere.

We need to talk specifics.  Have anything constructive to add?  How would you loose the stranglehold WallSt has on the federal govt.  Voting Republican will only strengthen their hold.  Not voting does not send the message that you're a bold independent type who's seen through the smokescreen.  Not voting doesn't do anything at all - just increases the power of those who do vote.

Reality is that you put a huge clothespin on your nose, walk into the voting booth, and vote for the less-corrupt party.  If you have a better idea, we'd like to hear it.

If an outfit says their going to do the greatest TSI in the world, but you walk the lot later and all they did was cut down the best trees, why would you keep selecting them?  You judge an outfit based on what they actually cut, not what they promised you ahead of time.  Look at those GOP vote tallies - the GOP is saying one thing, and doing another. 

The Democrats are corrupt too, but there's a matter of degree.  The Democrats cut more than their tally sheet said, and left the lot a mess.  However, the GOP cut more, took the best trees, hacked the crap out of the trunks of the remaining trees, cut over onto your abutter's land, got you in trouble with the state forester for stream damage, and their check bounced more than once*.  Which one are you going to choose next time? - and you only have the two choices.

(*By the way, I don't shoot as high as either of these examples - a man has to earn a living. Veteran of many trips down the Seney Stretch, long time ago.)

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 13:13 | 2149266 Jena
Jena's picture

Where did you get the idea that anyone here is a Republican?  


Sat, 02/11/2012 - 19:40 | 2149875 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

I don't know where he got that idea.  But he keeps playing on the same sandlot, the one with the chain-link fence topped with concertina wire.

Pulp, if you haven't figured it out, yet, it doesn't matter who your hanging chad was marked for.  Holding your nose and coloring the dot of the least duplicitous scoundrel, no matter if it is Jackass D or Retread R, is the same as pointing a .30-06 downward, and choosing which foot you get to shoot.

There is no way that this is going to end well.  The best way to get out of this fucked up forest of intellectual pecker-poles and beneer (too long) culls is a total clearcut.  The forest will come back, and can be managed properly, by the property owner, the next time around.

Sun, 02/12/2012 - 01:34 | 2150337 Mr Drysdale
Mr Drysdale's picture

+1 for good use of analogies!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:07 | 2147593 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Just so you know, I had to stop laughing long enough to type this. WB you are the best.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 00:03 | 2148663 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That image has been burning a hole in my hard drive waiting for the right moment. ;-)

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:40 | 2147713 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Fuck this. I just hurled my trippa and fuckin' suffritt all all over my nice ivy leauge suit

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:05 | 2147311 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You just had to do it didn't just had to ask "what next".      

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:23 | 2147313 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Vaporized paper.

'Koking aside, can the bankers who are getting "punished" as part of this deal, please advise the public and the AGs who punished them, just when they plan on releasing the final draft?'

So. You've been koking too, makes three of us.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:07 | 2147317 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Rule of Law. LMFAO  Thats a freakin good one Tyler. Must be Friday.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:28 | 2147430 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

The Farce is strong in you... it is.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:08 | 2147322 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

The only true bet against institutionallized corruption, Gold and Silver.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:27 | 2147425 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ $55,000

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:52 | 2147530 Marco
Marco's picture

It's not a bet against, it's merely hitching a ride ... there is nothing wrong with that, but don't paint it as any more than it is.

In the end Somalian pirates are more effective adversaries of institutional corruption than gold buyers.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:08 | 2147323 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

sounds like it's time to axe people

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147334 aheady
aheady's picture

Sharpen it first.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:17 | 2147374 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

From the forest itself come the handle for the axe.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:35 | 2147459 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Stupid trees!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:28 | 2147431 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

No, don't. You get more swings in that way.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2147746 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Blunt-force trauma, FTW!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:54 | 2147546 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

A tomahawk does not need to be very sharp the be effective, and if it's very sharp then it's too hard to belt-carry. 

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147339 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

A good start would be axing them why they passed something in order to see what's in it, yet no one knows what's in it yet...........

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:21 | 2147396 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Duhhhh! We have to pass it in order to read it.

If this AG settlement doesn't show the Red Team/Blue Team fans that the political divide of left and right is complete and utter bullshit, then we can just wait for the financial implosion of the US dollar world-reserve status before any change.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2147483 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Hypothetically, if you were an idiot and a member of congress (yes it is redundant) and voted for a bill that you could not read until it was passed, would that be fraud?  At the least, malfeasance and grounds for impeachment.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:03 | 2147578 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Not when you are the great chosen one - chosen by one of two herds who only cares about their respective blue team or red team.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:10 | 2147329 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Is this the Friday Funnies?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147331 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"Oh and anyone who had doubts that the settlement, which incidentally is paid for by you, dear taxpayers, in the form of bank bailout cash, of which the banks still owe over $10 billion in some capacity..."

Let's see... Ten billion divided by $70,000 (very high end estimate of the average fireman salary) = 142,857 fireman, fully paid, for a year.   That's more than half of all the firemen in the entire country.  The 2008 bank bailout was actually 70 times that figure, or $700B in taxpayer funds (actually, debt incurred on behalf of the taxpayers to pay later, with interest).  Of course the bankers add that much value to society, so it's worth it.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147333 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I need a fucking sedative.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147468 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You're weird. Most request a stimulant to enhance the libido. ;-)

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147626 pods
pods's picture

With you on that dw$.  Actually heard a guy on the radio this morning (gasparino) being interviewed about this deal.

Said that the government had the banks over a barrel.  

Last I heard before I turned it off.

This truly is wonderland now.  Up is down, right is wrong.  

And that pain in all of our collective asses is surely not the banksters again.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147335 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

We need to agree to this settlement before we find out what's in it. Rather Pelosi-esk don't you think.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147336 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

I hooked up with Linda Green years ago - she was unreal.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:32 | 2147371 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

She is unbelievable! Although, I've heard she really gets around.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:19 | 2147386 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i can tell from the ink, Gub!

sign here & we'll skin you for the smithsonian when you're done with it, ok? <organHarvestForm>

you can keep johnDillinger company!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:22 | 2147406 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Hey, me too! It was just like I envisioned in my fantasies...probably a different Linda Green though...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2147512 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

i heard she was a dude............



Sat, 02/11/2012 - 00:06 | 2148671 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Jones crusher

Jones crusher

Deadly jaws, better get the gauze


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:13 | 2147346 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

The FED's pyramid scheme expands...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:14 | 2147353 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

dear kamala harris:



Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:12 | 2147606 jowenchrist
jowenchrist's picture

slewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwie !

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:14 | 2147357 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

and these are the leaders of the 'free' world?  Just keep swimming!  Just keep swimming!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:15 | 2147368 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

stop suprising.... for the past 3 years we should get used to it.

They will do everything to keep going, like it or not.

We just need to figure out teh way to take advantage of it. And no... morals have nothing to do with finance nor economy. Capitalizm at its best.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:16 | 2147369 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

The deal shall be whatever the bankers want it to be. Bwahahahaaa.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:16 | 2147373 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

OK everyone; raise your hands

How many of you would like to extinguish all your present and future liabilities for less than a penny on the dollar?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:25 | 2147414 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Both hands, but that doesn't happen to a peon like me.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:20 | 2147392 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

where is Linda Green!!

she been cuffed yet??

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:21 | 2147400 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

The details are being hypothecated now.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:22 | 2147403 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

nothing to see here folks...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:27 | 2147407 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Sign first, negotiate later - Red Queen

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:23 | 2147408's picture

"Hey house sold....well the paperwork isn't done yet but they really like it!!!"

Sun, 02/12/2012 - 14:27 | 2151065 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

No problem!  That's where a little company called DocX comes in.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:31 | 2147409 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture



"Why of course we have an agreement; those Attorney Generals were so polite in our meetings.  Why would you not trust me?  Is this the face of a liar?"

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:23 | 2147410 chunga
chunga's picture

Iowa AG Tom Miller of "We Will Put People in Jail" fame actually sent out a template for the other dopes so they could fill in the blanks.

AG Settlement Template

What a bunch of jerks.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:25 | 2147413 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Shouldnt this have been listed under friday humor or things that make you go Hmmmm???

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:27 | 2147427 r101958
r101958's picture

Any substantiation to the rumors about Kim Jong Un's demise? Tyler?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2147482 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

He was killed by Kim Jong Too

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:50 | 2147528 r101958
r101958's picture

Dang! I thought it might of been Tim Weibo.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2147720 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Who was then succeeded by Kim Jong Tree, who was Kim Jong Il's love child with Barbara Bush.

He will then make a grand entrance into the Republican brokered convention to become president of the US as well.

Then we can cut out the middleman and take these shitty Republican policies straight to their endpoint.

All hail the Glorious Leader(tm)!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:58 | 2147755 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Hey, Tyler, post an article on silver this evening. Friday night humor with the Trav vs Tmo/akak show is always a good way to start the weekend.

edit: forgot my manner, meant to say "please".

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:30 | 2147443 user2011
user2011's picture

America = certified corrupted communism = another version of China...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147467 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Communism. Now that's funny.

I didn't realize communist societies were divided by economic classes.

Boy, you is so smart than me!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:10 | 2147800 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yep, Stalin was just your average proletariat.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:35 | 2147458 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Obama believes he is entitled to a second term so does whatever it takes. The banks felt entitled to the houses so did whatever it took. Of course there is no correlation between debt economics and feelings of entitlement...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147460 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

This is president in desperate need of attention.

Talk about over shooting the end of the pier....

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147462 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I've hired a homeless dude to sign all my paperwork for me.  I give him a couple bottles of Wild Irish Rose when I need important documents signatured.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147464 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Should of been "Lend-a-Green.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147470 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Bets on how many banks show up on the 'Friday Failures' today?


I say 0,

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:03 | 2147579 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Do they even announce them anymore?

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