The Epic Farce Continues - US Attorneys General "Robosigned" A Foreclosure Settlement Which Does Not Exist

Tyler Durden's picture


It is only appropriate, and so ironic, that a politically motivated settlement whose purpose is to squash any claims of pervasive defective document fraud (and contract law but just ask GM bondholders about that - it's hardly news) is itself found to be... defective. American Banker reports that the reason why the terms of the so-called historic (just ask the Teleprompter in Chief) foreclosure settlement deal are not public yet, is "because a fully authorized, legally binding deal has not been inked yet." Wait, so America's cohort of AGs just all, pardon the pun, robosigned a piece of paper that does not exist? What next: there is a different Linda Green signature on every page of this yet to be produced document making a complete mockery of the rule of law?

Oh and anyone who had doubts that the settlement, which incidentally is paid for by you, dear taxpayers, in the form of bank bailout cash, of which the banks still owe over $10 billion in some capacity, was merely a political ploy to get taxpayers to fund Obama's reelection campaign by subsidizing squatters with $2,000 per vote in the presidential race come November, using banks as intermediaries to make the administration seem oh so powerful and daring to take on the banks, who in fact are the only ones benefiting from this farce, by holding a gun to the head of the hold out AGs forcing them to sign a piece of paper that does not even exist, this should put all those doubts to rest.

American Banker has the story:

The implication of this is hard to say. Spokespersons for both the Iowa attorney general's office and the Department of Justice both told American Banker that the actual settlement will not be made public until it is submitted to a court. A representative for the North Carolina attorney general downplayed the significance of the document's non-final status, saying that the terms were already fixed.


Other sources who spoke with American Banker raised doubts that everything is yet in place. A person familiar with the mortgage servicing pact says that a settlement term sheet does not yet exist. Instead, there are a series of nearly-complete documents that will be attached to a consent judgment eventually filed with the court. That truly final version will include things such as servicing standards, consumer relief options, legal releases, and enforcement terms. There will likely be separate state and a federal versions of the release.


Some who talked to American Banker said that the political pressure to announce the settlement drove the timing, in effect putting the press release cart in front of the settlement horse.


Whatever the reason for the document's continued non-appearance, the lack of a public final settlement is already the cause for disgruntlement among those who closely follow the banking industry. Quite simply, the actual terms of a settlement matter.


"The devil's in the details," says Ron Glancz, chairman of law firm Venable LLP's Financial Services Group. "Until you see the document you're never quite sure what your rights are."


"It's frustrating," agrees Stern Agee analyst John Nadel. "But it's not unlike anything else that's been going on in financial reform generally, is it?"

That's about right - ever since America became a centrally planned, communist, banana republic with occasional fascist overtones, financial reform in the US is all about frustration: primarily frustrating one out of the will to continue living in a country that would make Stalin green with envy.

American Banker asked The Department of Justice, the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the offices of Attorneys General in Iowa, North Carolina and Colorado for a copy of the settlement last night. Only Iowa, North Carolina and the Department of Justice have responded, saying that the document would not be available until it is filed with the court on a yet-undetermined date.

Kidding aside, can the bankers who are getting "punished" as part of this deal, please advise the public and the AGs who punished them, just when they plan on releasing the final draft?

All we can say is: Linda Green.


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Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:28 | 2147431 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

No, don't. You get more swings in that way.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2147746 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Blunt-force trauma, FTW!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:54 | 2147546 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

A tomahawk does not need to be very sharp the be effective, and if it's very sharp then it's too hard to belt-carry. 

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147339 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

A good start would be axing them why they passed something in order to see what's in it, yet no one knows what's in it yet...........

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:21 | 2147396 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Duhhhh! We have to pass it in order to read it.

If this AG settlement doesn't show the Red Team/Blue Team fans that the political divide of left and right is complete and utter bullshit, then we can just wait for the financial implosion of the US dollar world-reserve status before any change.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2147483 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Hypothetically, if you were an idiot and a member of congress (yes it is redundant) and voted for a bill that you could not read until it was passed, would that be fraud?  At the least, malfeasance and grounds for impeachment.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:03 | 2147578 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Not when you are the great chosen one - chosen by one of two herds who only cares about their respective blue team or red team.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:10 | 2147329 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Is this the Friday Funnies?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147331 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"Oh and anyone who had doubts that the settlement, which incidentally is paid for by you, dear taxpayers, in the form of bank bailout cash, of which the banks still owe over $10 billion in some capacity..."

Let's see... Ten billion divided by $70,000 (very high end estimate of the average fireman salary) = 142,857 fireman, fully paid, for a year.   That's more than half of all the firemen in the entire country.  The 2008 bank bailout was actually 70 times that figure, or $700B in taxpayer funds (actually, debt incurred on behalf of the taxpayers to pay later, with interest).  Of course the bankers add that much value to society, so it's worth it.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147333 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I need a fucking sedative.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147468 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You're weird. Most request a stimulant to enhance the libido. ;-)

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2147626 pods
pods's picture

With you on that dw$.  Actually heard a guy on the radio this morning (gasparino) being interviewed about this deal.

Said that the government had the banks over a barrel.  

Last I heard before I turned it off.

This truly is wonderland now.  Up is down, right is wrong.  

And that pain in all of our collective asses is surely not the banksters again.


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147335 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

We need to agree to this settlement before we find out what's in it. Rather Pelosi-esk don't you think.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:11 | 2147336 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

I hooked up with Linda Green years ago - she was unreal.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:32 | 2147371 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

She is unbelievable! Although, I've heard she really gets around.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:19 | 2147386 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i can tell from the ink, Gub!

sign here & we'll skin you for the smithsonian when you're done with it, ok? <organHarvestForm>

you can keep johnDillinger company!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:22 | 2147406 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Hey, me too! It was just like I envisioned in my fantasies...probably a different Linda Green though...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2147512 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

i heard she was a dude............



Sat, 02/11/2012 - 00:06 | 2148671 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Jones crusher

Jones crusher

Deadly jaws, better get the gauze


Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:13 | 2147346 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

The FED's pyramid scheme expands...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:14 | 2147353 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

dear kamala harris:



Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:12 | 2147606 jowenchrist
jowenchrist's picture

slewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwie !

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:14 | 2147357 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

and these are the leaders of the 'free' world?  Just keep swimming!  Just keep swimming!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:15 | 2147368 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

stop suprising.... for the past 3 years we should get used to it.

They will do everything to keep going, like it or not.

We just need to figure out teh way to take advantage of it. And no... morals have nothing to do with finance nor economy. Capitalizm at its best.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:16 | 2147369 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

The deal shall be whatever the bankers want it to be. Bwahahahaaa.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:16 | 2147373 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

OK everyone; raise your hands

How many of you would like to extinguish all your present and future liabilities for less than a penny on the dollar?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:25 | 2147414 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Both hands, but that doesn't happen to a peon like me.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:20 | 2147392 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

where is Linda Green!!

she been cuffed yet??

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:21 | 2147400 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

The details are being hypothecated now.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:22 | 2147403 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

nothing to see here folks...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:27 | 2147407 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Sign first, negotiate later - Red Queen

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:23 | 2147408's picture

"Hey house sold....well the paperwork isn't done yet but they really like it!!!"

Sun, 02/12/2012 - 14:27 | 2151065 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

No problem!  That's where a little company called DocX comes in.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:31 | 2147409 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture



"Why of course we have an agreement; those Attorney Generals were so polite in our meetings.  Why would you not trust me?  Is this the face of a liar?"

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:23 | 2147410 chunga
chunga's picture

Iowa AG Tom Miller of "We Will Put People in Jail" fame actually sent out a template for the other dopes so they could fill in the blanks.

AG Settlement Template

What a bunch of jerks.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:25 | 2147413 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Shouldnt this have been listed under friday humor or things that make you go Hmmmm???

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:27 | 2147427 r101958
r101958's picture

Any substantiation to the rumors about Kim Jong Un's demise? Tyler?

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2147482 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

He was killed by Kim Jong Too

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:50 | 2147528 r101958
r101958's picture

Dang! I thought it might of been Tim Weibo.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:43 | 2147720 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Who was then succeeded by Kim Jong Tree, who was Kim Jong Il's love child with Barbara Bush.

He will then make a grand entrance into the Republican brokered convention to become president of the US as well.

Then we can cut out the middleman and take these shitty Republican policies straight to their endpoint.

All hail the Glorious Leader(tm)!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:58 | 2147755 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Hey, Tyler, post an article on silver this evening. Friday night humor with the Trav vs Tmo/akak show is always a good way to start the weekend.

edit: forgot my manner, meant to say "please".

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:30 | 2147443 user2011
user2011's picture

America = certified corrupted communism = another version of China...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147467 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Communism. Now that's funny.

I didn't realize communist societies were divided by economic classes.

Boy, you is so smart than me!

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 18:10 | 2147800 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yep, Stalin was just your average proletariat.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:35 | 2147458 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Obama believes he is entitled to a second term so does whatever it takes. The banks felt entitled to the houses so did whatever it took. Of course there is no correlation between debt economics and feelings of entitlement...

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147460 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

This is president in desperate need of attention.

Talk about over shooting the end of the pier....

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147462 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I've hired a homeless dude to sign all my paperwork for me.  I give him a couple bottles of Wild Irish Rose when I need important documents signatured.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:36 | 2147464 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Should of been "Lend-a-Green.

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2147470 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Bets on how many banks show up on the 'Friday Failures' today?


I say 0,

Fri, 02/10/2012 - 17:03 | 2147579 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Do they even announce them anymore?

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