Epic, Grotesquely Surreal Friday Humor

Tyler Durden's picture

Yesterday, during a conference organized by Bank of America titled "Banking & Insurance CEO Conference", whose key purpose was to defend insolvent Italian banks such as Intesa Sanpaolo (which was downgraded the very same day by Moody's) against the evil market and people spreading destructive truths, something grotesquely surreal happened. Specifically, Slide 9 from the prepared slide-deck happened. "What is Slide 9" you ask? Basically, it is Intesa's core defense of its "viability" which presents the EBA Stress Test result, according to which its Core Tier 1 ranks "among the best under the adverse scenario." Who is the best? Seek and ye shall find. The rest, as they, say is epic history...

Red highlighting ours


h/t Paolo

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BoGaVaNTe's picture

Hilarious indeed :-)

Popo's picture


Somebody forgot to stress-test the stress-test.

scatterbrains's picture

MF down 9% bitches!   Who's their counter party ?

Ahmeexnal's picture

Forget about France being downgraded by the rating agencies.

Sarkozy has just DEGRADED France to BANANA REPUBLIC status.

First he framed DSK with the hotel maid affair.

Now, Segolene Royal accuses Sarkozy of manipulating the polls:




Slim Pickens's picture

Not that Sarkozy would be above such a thing, but I don't think Royal needs any help to be low in the polls.  The PS is going to nominate Holland by a mile, so the accusations that people have been spying on Holland's girlfriend on behalf of Sarkozy sound a lot more plausible.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Now, Segolene Royal accuses Sarkozy of manipulating the polls

Did anyone seriously think that Sarkozy, Merkel, Lagarde, Jeethner, or any of the other charade desperadoes wasn't a pole greaser?


kengland's picture

Do they not proof this shat? I would have been fired for including a slide so freaking stupid and destructive.

Commander Cody's picture

All is well when the 'additional measures' are considered - whatever they are.

SAJ's picture

Edd Widd lives.  Slide 9 from Outer Space.

SAJ's picture

Or Edd Wood, even.  Sheesh.

boom goes the dynamite's picture

you can't make this shit up

NotApplicable's picture

If you did, no one would believe you.

FL_Conservative's picture

If you did, you'd have to tell Liesman (so he could spread the word) or no one would believe you.  Well beyond funny!

Ahmeexnal's picture

Au and Ag falling off a cliff. Margin hikes after the metal markets close?

BBVA has major presence in LatAm. That bank is about to go bust. Millions of savers will be fisted with a boxer.

That will mark the initiation of riots in Brazil. 

Byte Me's picture

Might just be forced liquidation.

Nothing to see here.

Comay Mierda's picture

Stop looking at the spot price, the physical trading premiums will maintain

traderjoe's picture

Tulving.com appears to be out of all their junk silver. They still claim 400k ounces in stock but a few items sold out.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Regarding Au & Ag, I think it might be the opposite, I think we see some PM bullish news over the weekend. Big time.

HelluvaEngineer's picture

Looks like a repeat of Wed. on my charts.  From a higher price.  Not too concerned.

fuu's picture

Did I miss the memo on the new meaning of "falling off a cliff" this week?

tekhneek's picture

Damn. That cliff cost me USD 0.59!

sdmjake's picture

Falling off a cliff = back to where it was 8 weeks ago?

Timmay's picture

The lies come so fast that they can no longer hide the truth. Shit is going down.


LOL! What does it "mean" to be on or near the bottom of this list Soc Gen?

BoGaVaNTe's picture

it means that your shit is also all over the place but it is not as liquid(no pun intended)

SheepDog-One's picture

Soon theyll start doing daily premarket and 15 minutes before close 'stress test results' to move the markets. Then after that it will be hourly stress tests.

monopoly's picture

And just when I thought I saw it all. And no one indicted yet.

P Rankmug's picture

No different than the Hindenburg being rated safest air travel in 1937.

LeBalance's picture

Was a Manchurian Franky singing: "Come Fry with me, Let's Fry, Let's Fry Away!" ??

Nawaralsaadi's picture

That was a good one :)

Sgt. Oddball's picture

In the current bizarro world economy that we have today this makes perfect sense.

Finnykins's picture

No fucking way :0 PAHAHAHAHA

Caveman93's picture

No really it's not a turd! See, there is a cherry and some whipped cream on it! I mean, who would put whipped cream and a cherry on a turd!?

LeBalance's picture

A hedge fund manager's PR department on the coming performance report?

nobusiness's picture

Please prepare for the daily short squeze.  Fundementals don't mean anything in the bailout world.

SheepDog-One's picture

The FED is probably done short squeezing their own shorts now....oops did I let the cat out of the bag?

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The FED is probably done short squeezing their own shorts now

Merkel and Sarkozy, on the other hand, have each just squeezed one out in their shorts.


buzzsaw99's picture

Is that Dexia at the top? omg lololololol

SheepDog-One's picture

Told every bull this morning when they were commenting on release of the ADP and the next stop was S&P 1,300 to not be so confident and its all a big bull trap.

Shock and Aweful's picture


"They" just need to get a few more bagholders setup before the next move down.....




topcallingtroll's picture

If I look around a table and cant figure out who the bagholder is.....

lemarche's picture

What a joke !! And they call themselves "analysts"... Is that someone with analytical skills?

SheepDog-One's picture

I look at this bank lineup and this came right to mind....Bring out yer DEAD! But Im NOT dead! Dont worry, he'll be stone dead in a moment...

Monty Python Bring out Your Dead - YouTube