Euro Soars On Merkozy Announcement Of Full Agreement... But No Euro Bonds - Live Press Conference Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture

Here come the latest headlines from the Sarkozy-Merkel press conference:

  • SARKOZY CITES COMPLETE AGREEMENT WITH GERMANY REACHED
  • FRANCE, GERMANY SEEK TO PREVENT REPEAT OF CURRENT CRISIS
  • FRANCE, GERMANY WANT `NEW TREATY' FOR EU
  • AUTOMATIC PENALTIES BACKED FOR BUDGET VIOLATORS, SARKOZY SAYS
  • SARKOZY SAYS PREFERENCE IS FOR TREATY AMONG 27 EU COUNTRIES
  • EUROPEAN MONETARY FUND BACKED, SARKOZY SA
  • SARKOZY SAYS NO COMMENTS TO BE MADE ON ECB
  • CRISIS MUST BE STOPPED TO PRESERVE EUROPE, SARKOZY SAYS

So now all the two European heads have to do is convince the rest of Europe that abdication of national sovereignty to Merkozy is in everyone's best interest. And what would a European announcement be without a plan to plan:

  • REINFORCED IMF ROLE SOUGHT, SARKOZY SAYS

Regardless, EURUSD up 40 pips on the news. For now.

And now back down on the following kicker as it seems the Eurobond ex Machina is once again dead.

  • EURO BONDS ARE `IN NO CASE' A CRISIS SOLUTION, SARKOZY SAYS
  • MERKEL SAYS EUROPEAN COURT WON'T VETO MEMBER STATE BUDGETS
  • MERKEL SAYS EUROPEAN COURT WON'T VETO MEMBER STATE BUDGETS

Watch the conference live here:

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gojam's picture

Full agreement on nothing !

Nothing that addresses the problems, just long term structural changes.

Black Forest's picture

I don't understand. Are there two Merkozys?

thunderchief's picture

Yes.. There is, for your information... 

But the male breed is the one on the German Dog chain, and he is a god damm Russian/Ukraine named Sarkozy..

He even looks like a German Shepard.  They want their justice. 

Learn the rules..beginner..

sqz's picture

No mention of the announcement on reduced PSI or less threatening ESM changes, ZH? Shame on you! :)

1000pips's picture

As I have told you dooms day junkies, the Euro/USD will be $1.40 in a few weeks. The world is not going to end and shorting this market is a Bear Trap. Trade accordingly.

Smiddywesson's picture

If you take turns ramping the dollar or euro, the sheeple won't notice they are both being debased. 

If the euro goes down and stays down, then the game of tag is over and so is the can kicking. 

If the can kicking were over, central banks would have to make due with whatever gold they have amassed up to this date.  Now we can't have that, so we will spend whatever amounts of paper necessary to kick the can.

The dollar hit the top of the channel and the euro hit the bottom.  Tag, you're it.  Time for the Santa Clause rally.

Sudden Debt's picture

It's all pretty logical!

1. Our kids will have to pay our debts.

so=

Any changes will have to be made in the future... for them.

 

Cassandra Syndrome's picture

I look forward to fighting for my country against these Fascists. bring it on bitchez...

IAmNotMark's picture

Which country are you in?

I don't look forward to fighting the fascists in America.  They're firmly in power, very well armed, and very willing to kill citizens.

MobBarley's picture

You must be of french racial heritage.

 

Spastica Rex's picture

Those crazy guillotine guys!

Barry Freed's picture

Just keep doing what your told and I'm sure you'll be fine.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Yaaay!

Everything's fixed for good!

Sarkozy said so.

Now, about that unpayable amount of sovereign debt (necessitating hair/neck cuts), massively undercapitalized black holes of banks (nationalized and private) sucking all capital into their vortexes, and global economic structural imbalances and inefficiencies on a level higher than ever seen in anything that can be called the 'modern era'....

 

Oh, right. It's all fixed. Sarkozy said.

Sorry.

 

 

SARCsquared  

gojam's picture

TruthInSunshine,

They are in absolute agreement that they will talk about all those inconvenient issues once a month in scheduled meetings with other Eurozone leaders until those issues go away.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Yes.

The new Sarkozy-inspired strategy appears to be to bore the world to death by blowing smoke up thine asses.

Silver Bully's picture

'SARCsquared  '

You mean Sark Sarc? That's his new nickname. Those crazy french, I can never tell when they are serious anymore.

Josh Randall's picture

She's a MAN, baby!

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Germany 2 Squid 0. Game continues....

lovedr's picture

Thank goodness the problem is solved!  Now gold can fall from it's artificially inflated value and unemployment can deflate as well.  *sigh*

in-Credible Banker's picture

Anyone speak French and can translate??

Joe Sixpack's picture

He said:

 

"blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah "

stops scratches balls, looks over lovingly at Merkel,  continues.

"blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah "

"blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah, ummm., blah, blah, blah "

 

AngryGerman's picture

in French they say "patati patata", but same meaning...


Silver Bully's picture

You mean, you scratch my balls, I scratch yours? Merkel would love that.

gojam's picture

He said "Oui bleu, bleu, bleu, bleu

She said "Ja Blar, blar, blar, ja blaren"

Sudden Debt's picture

strange.... I never voted for a agreement.... at least not a German or a French one....

How many country's are in the Eurozone?  => 17 BITCHEZ!!! 17!!!

Larry Darrell's picture

Belgians don't get a vote because they have no government to represent them at the table.....=)

 

sabra1's picture

once all technocrats are installed, there should be no problems! let's see how many riots commence!

AngryGerman's picture

you surely meant

16 bitchez

1 germany

Spooky Polish's picture

And some others nonEURO bitches like Polish gov , which is broke just like greece , but it hides it much better ,

falak pema's picture

18, if you count the dumb wallon/flemish divide. Typical moule-frites play!

Joe Sixpack's picture

Adolf Linköln bitchez!

f16hoser's picture

If you're losing, rewrite the rules of the game. I love it! Can you say: European Plunge Protection Team (EPPT)?

AngryGerman's picture

European Putt-blug Protection Team!

 

darn...

SeverinSlade's picture

Let's see...It took them how long to "agree" to "disagree" on the EFSF...and we're supposed to believe that all EU members will quickly agree to becoming the United States of Europe?  Thanks for ze shorteeng opportuniteeeee.

Mongo's picture

So €bonds it is...

Larry Darrell's picture

I guess I'll be double checking my bug out bags tonight.

When this charade comes to a head, I don't think TPTB will have a chance to start WW3 because of the huge number of countries which will be involved in their own civil wars.

 

Jim in MN's picture

German language broadcasts to begin in France at once. 

Showers and clean underwear mandatory. 

Cheese to be firmer, less smelly. 

Only pickled vegetables allowed.

BIER NICHT WIEN, SCHWEINEKOPFEN!!!  AND PAY US AT ONCE!!!

RobD's picture

That's funny stuff right there.

Alex Kintner's picture

Sprechen Sie Douche! Kool.

scatterbrains's picture

 

 

I like this part..

"AUTOMATIC PENALTIES BACKED FOR VIOLATORS, SARKOZY sAYS"

I'll drone your ass if you don't cut bitches

NotApplicable's picture

The good ole '3 strikes' doctrine.

reboot this mofo's picture

Yeah, all sounds swell.

Here is the issue: they are all broke. Otherwise this "crisis" would already have been addressed. First we have the failed EFSF, then the IMF to the resue, then last weeks central-bank-thing...but wait, now there is finally agreement to agree to agree........  zzzzzz.

BTW: Heard Corzine has turned state on JPM and other banksters criminals.

Maybe thats why he is MIA???

 

SheepDog-One's picture

Yes but now there will be PENALTIES for being broke! See? Fixed.

willien1derland's picture

+1,000 - Classic! Put that on a t-shirt SD1!

Larry Darrell's picture

"BTW: Heard Corzine has turned state on JPM and other banksters criminals."

Talk about a rumor with no basis in reality.  How can Corzine "turn state" against JPM and the banksters when JPM and the backsters ARE the state? 

MobBarley's picture

Well that's the joke, see? Like Al-Qeada is the CIA and the 911 terrorists are the government.

It's all very entertaining. The inside jokes, the double meanings. Hilarious.