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Euro Summit Imploding: Merkel Cancels Friday Government Statement On EFSF

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Luckily, we never promised readers to have a quota of only one stupid European story per hour or else we would be worse liars than the European bureaucrats who finally discovered the abacus and punch cards, and have realized that, as we noted, the EFSF is DOA. The WSJ reports that Angela Merkel has cancelled a government statement on the European Union summit this weekend, due Friday, at short-notice, a spokesman for her CDU party said Thursday. The reason for the cancellation was probably a lack of agreement on new guidelines for the euro zone's rescue fund, the European Financial Stability Facility, the spokesman said. But no reason has officially been given for the cancellation, he added. The EU confirmed earlier Thursday that it plans to hold the summit this weekend as planned. Earlier Thursday, reports had suggested the summit might be delayed over disagreement between Germany and France on how to leverage the EFSF. One wonders at this point just why the "make or break" summit is even happening? Is the catering bill so high that nobody thought of enacting a shorter than 48 hour cancellation policy? Then again this is Europe, where as Bob Pisani said, "we see thoughts as they happen in real time." Explains why the EURUSD is where it is right about now.

 

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Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:15 | 1793411 maxmad
maxmad's picture

This thing is really going to collapse!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:17 | 1793424 maxmad
maxmad's picture

Imploding, bitchez!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:22 | 1793452 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

Why the hell isn't the EUR/USD going up???.. /sarc off/

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 21:43 | 1795686 Nobody special
Nobody special's picture

I'm can't wait for the end of the month when we find out about the solution that will end the European crisis.  I'd be concerned if the polikal leaders hadn't said it was 'all solved.'

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:31 | 1793509 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

This thing is really going to collapse!

Gawd I hope so.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:31 | 1793800 upWising
upWising's picture

The patient is gushing blood.  Signs of shock and impending cardiac collapse are there for everyone to see.  The European "Leaders" are meeting to plan a strategy to decide whether to put a "Barney the Purple Dinosaur" or "Mickey Mouse" bandaid on the gushing wound.  I vote for a GOOFY bandaid.

 

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 18:07 | 1794984 hoos bin pharteen
hoos bin pharteen's picture

G.I. Joe, bitchez!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:16 | 1793413 machineh
machineh's picture

'One wonders at this point just why the "make or break" summit is even happening?'

With all the excellent victuals, it could be the best circle jerk ever!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:40 | 1793544 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

I visualize about 50  EU political leaders all in the cabin of a sinking ship trying to fight for who gets to steer the wheel while telling each other to get out and push cause the engine is flooded. 

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:58 | 1793653 BandGap
BandGap's picture

If the whole point of a meeting is to make sure something doesn't break, doesn't it make sense that it will if the meeting doesn't take place?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:16 | 1793414 danger close here
danger close here's picture

Lots of money stuck above 1200; when this bitch drops, itll be a elevator

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:21 | 1793444 Biosci
Biosci's picture

1198...

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:16 | 1793418 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Merkel will notify the parliament about "current status" as of tomorrow before 9am CEST

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:18 | 1793427 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

nicht gut

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:18 | 1793429 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Only one appropriate action I could think to respond with a glib satisfaction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:35 | 1793530 Crash N. Burn
Crash N. Burn's picture

Kill the wabbit? http://youtu.be/C2VMqQ6XnmI

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:19 | 1793431 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Have they finished printing the new Deutschmark yet?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:20 | 1793445 sabra1
sabra1's picture

you beat me to it!!!!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:22 | 1793454 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

By the way Merkel is acting...an emphatic "Jawohl!" appears to be the A to your Q.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:37 | 1793537 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

I'm in your camp to. Germany is preparing to cut itself loose from this charade. German people are too proud to persist with this shit.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:45 | 1793574 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

sounds about right. maybe the french franc too. It would explain all the stalling and delay.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:20 | 1793438 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Everyone in eruope planning to simply shut the hell up and re-fortify their remaining positions, let everyone hang out to dry for a while.  They may have realized that their situation was simply being used for cover by the Americans.  fine with me.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:52 | 1793979 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

And what great cover it has been. Thanks for the breathing room, fellas!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:22 | 1793450 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Leveraging debt to fix debt saturation was never a good concept.

Repudiation and restructuring only way to avoid world war anarchy and pandemonium (Greek word alert all + evil + disorder)

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:22 | 1793455 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Damn I'm getting old. I remember when my weekly pay checks were printed on IBM punch cards.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:59 | 1793666 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I remember when I had to feed the server punchcards to run the same calculations I now run on my cell phone.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:11 | 1793706 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

JCL bitchez!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:16 | 1793728 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Someone call?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:23 | 1793459 TheEmperor
TheEmperor's picture

May I suggest we have a non-confidence vote for the German Chancellor.

We now need a strong Chancellor, perhaps I will be nominated

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:41 | 1793846 FinHits
FinHits's picture

Chances are you wouldn't be as good Cancel-lor?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:25 | 1793475 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Is there a "ultra" popcorn that I can eat go with my Mic Ultra beer that I drink?

I'm on an austerirty diet.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:25 | 1793476 Hansel
Hansel's picture

I predict lots of mood swings and gnashing of teeth this weekend; people are anxious.  I sure hope I don't hurt myself on this limb way out here.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:25 | 1793479 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I guess we will have to wait a bit longer for the launch of "Merkovy Hedge Fund, GmbH."  

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:26 | 1793481 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

and the DOW is only down like 100 pts.

I'm convinced that all the trading on the stock market is now being done by the defective turret AI from Portal 2.

Template

Response

"...uh.... I'm Batman."

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:26 | 1793484 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

FRANCE, GERMANY NEED EXTRA EURO ZONE SUMMIT NEXT WEEK TO AGREE ON
                   ESFS, IN SECOND GREEK FINANCING PKG

 

right... soon it'll be a race of printing money over printing invitation cards, menues and whatnot for "ubersummitting"

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:31 | 1793510 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Jesus Christ. This is worse than a soap opera.

 

I worked with a foreman years ago who would say, "do something, even if its wrong."

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:58 | 1793656 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

As a foreman, my comment is usually "always enough time to do it again, never enough time to do it right."

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:34 | 1793521 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Why does it make that ticking sound?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:35 | 1793527 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

EFSF

Everybodys Fucking So Fucked

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:36 | 1793535 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

EFSF = Europe For Suicide Fund

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:40 | 1793545 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

EFSF = Emit Farts Smell Farts

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:53 | 1793629 Strider52
Strider52's picture

Extremely Fast Shit-Fan

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:44 | 1793566 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

My bet is that Greece officially defaults and announces 70% haircuts within the next 10 days.  Start the countdown!  The ESFS turns into debtor in possession funds.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:22 | 1793596 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

What a theatre this whole world economy has become. Folks, all this marionetting for your viewing pleasure is for one thing........to steer investment to where they deem necessary to keep control. The dollar is the puppet that must trump all other puppets.  To keep control they must keep the reserve currency-petrodollar status of the U.S. dollar as strong as possible. So, they have to make "everything else" look like shit to impose the "so called" flight to safety. Nevermind that there is OP-EX in the stocks tomorrow (Hammer the PM stocks/longs into submission) and nevermind that we have OP-EX next Tuesday in the metals. There will be some kind of paper (debt) solution next week in the E.U. after all the OP-EX's are cleared or rolled. Big hammer coming up for PM's. Sub $1600 for Gold going into next weeks OP-EX............................BTFD !

Why do they have impeccable timing (every month) ?..........because they control "everything" with paper, a printing press and a keyboard.

Free and open market ?..............Muuuuhahahahahahahah !

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:01 | 1793655 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

"Luckily, we never promised readers to have a quota of only one stupid European story per hour or else we would be worse liars than the European bureaucrats who finally discovered the abacus and punch cards,..."

 

Just STOP this shit Tyler - I got this far and started spewing coffee - damn!

It can make me forget that this investing/speculating/day trading yo-yo shit is *serious*.  

 

And then you had to throw in toward the end:

"Is the catering bill so high that nobody thought of enacting a shorter than 48 hour cancellation policy?"

I mean, you could hurt somebody with this stuff, Tyler. 

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:04 | 1793668 FinalCollapse
FinalCollapse's picture

They forgot it is Octoberfest time, and no one will attend any meeting.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:03 | 1793680 Thunder Dome
Thunder Dome's picture

When it boils down, in the end, Germany isn't going to co-sign for shit.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:03 | 1793681 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Check it out, more outright buying of gov paper on no volume, no manipulation there.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:12 | 1793710 crash_davis
crash_davis's picture

one of the headlines at reuters is that the EU countries have agreed on 100 billion euros to recapitalize their banks (not enough money?), but some disagreements need to be worked out.    Happy happy joy joy.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:14 | 1793719 crash_davis
crash_davis's picture

EFSF = Europen financial stability FAIL

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:16 | 1793727 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

Don't forget Sarkosy's baby! She's a princess!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:33 | 1793817 Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

Let's get this thing over with...

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 14:20 | 1794150 plantigrade
plantigrade's picture

magic helmet

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 16:26 | 1794652 rhinotrader
rhinotrader's picture

Way to bottom tick the mkt Tylers!!!! You guys call something out negative at the bottom of the market. Nice Job!!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 17:16 | 1794830 GeoffreyT
GeoffreyT's picture

Amazing that these fucking tax-parasites think that they can hold back the tide... haven't they heard the story of King Canute?

 

I'm not sure if ZHers have seen it yet, but my newswire headlined a WSJ story that the Euriopean Commission is considering banning RATINGS on sovereign debt of nations that are "involved in bailout negotiations". No word at this stage as to whether that means ALL coutnerparties, but I would imagine so, given the fucktarditude on display from Europe's banking and political vampires.

 

For fuck's sake - these people are out of their fucking minds. Firstly, ratings LAG credit market prices (that's been established for over 10 years); second, preventing people from writing and promulgating the opinion "Country X is fucked" does not alter the fact that country X is fucked.

 

Sarko's new runtling won't help his poll... but it is an amazing feat considering how bashed around Bruni's box is; they must have spent the past 9 months trying to prevent it from just dropping out onto the floor: some Italian chaps of my acquaintance think the phrase "A twat like a wizard's sleeve' is very funny, and apt in this circumstance.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 18:48 | 1795165 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

I don't know about you, but I am bullish.

 

After all, it will be no time at all before Merkozy announce an agreement to plan to hold meetings tentatively discussing the possibility of a series of discussions for planning for the possibility of announcing the intent to bring resolution to the crisis.

 

To me, that says "back up the truck"!

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