Euro Summit Imploding: Merkel Cancels Friday Government Statement On EFSF

Tyler Durden's picture

Luckily, we never promised readers to have a quota of only one stupid European story per hour or else we would be worse liars than the European bureaucrats who finally discovered the abacus and punch cards, and have realized that, as we noted, the EFSF is DOA. The WSJ reports that Angela Merkel has cancelled a government statement on the European Union summit this weekend, due Friday, at short-notice, a spokesman for her CDU party said Thursday. The reason for the cancellation was probably a lack of agreement on new guidelines for the euro zone's rescue fund, the European Financial Stability Facility, the spokesman said. But no reason has officially been given for the cancellation, he added. The EU confirmed earlier Thursday that it plans to hold the summit this weekend as planned. Earlier Thursday, reports had suggested the summit might be delayed over disagreement between Germany and France on how to leverage the EFSF. One wonders at this point just why the "make or break" summit is even happening? Is the catering bill so high that nobody thought of enacting a shorter than 48 hour cancellation policy? Then again this is Europe, where as Bob Pisani said, "we see thoughts as they happen in real time." Explains why the EURUSD is where it is right about now.

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maxmad's picture

This thing is really going to collapse!

Max Hunter's picture

Why the hell isn't the EUR/USD going up???.. /sarc off/

Nobody special's picture

I'm can't wait for the end of the month when we find out about the solution that will end the European crisis.  I'd be concerned if the polikal leaders hadn't said it was 'all solved.'

JLee2027's picture

This thing is really going to collapse!

Gawd I hope so.

upWising's picture

The patient is gushing blood.  Signs of shock and impending cardiac collapse are there for everyone to see.  The European "Leaders" are meeting to plan a strategy to decide whether to put a "Barney the Purple Dinosaur" or "Mickey Mouse" bandaid on the gushing wound.  I vote for a GOOFY bandaid.


machineh's picture

'One wonders at this point just why the "make or break" summit is even happening?'

With all the excellent victuals, it could be the best circle jerk ever!

silverserfer's picture

I visualize about 50  EU political leaders all in the cabin of a sinking ship trying to fight for who gets to steer the wheel while telling each other to get out and push cause the engine is flooded. 

BandGap's picture

If the whole point of a meeting is to make sure something doesn't break, doesn't it make sense that it will if the meeting doesn't take place?

danger close here's picture

Lots of money stuck above 1200; when this bitch drops, itll be a elevator

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Merkel will notify the parliament about "current status" as of tomorrow before 9am CEST

Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Only one appropriate action I could think to respond with a glib satisfaction

FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Have they finished printing the new Deutschmark yet?

Tsar Pointless's picture

By the way Merkel is emphatic "Jawohl!" appears to be the A to your Q.

Village Smithy's picture

I'm in your camp to. Germany is preparing to cut itself loose from this charade. German people are too proud to persist with this shit.

silverserfer's picture

sounds about right. maybe the french franc too. It would explain all the stalling and delay.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Everyone in eruope planning to simply shut the hell up and re-fortify their remaining positions, let everyone hang out to dry for a while.  They may have realized that their situation was simply being used for cover by the Americans.  fine with me.

topcallingtroll's picture

And what great cover it has been. Thanks for the breathing room, fellas!

CClarity's picture

Leveraging debt to fix debt saturation was never a good concept.

Repudiation and restructuring only way to avoid world war anarchy and pandemonium (Greek word alert all + evil + disorder)

Long-John-Silver's picture

Damn I'm getting old. I remember when my weekly pay checks were printed on IBM punch cards.

LawsofPhysics's picture

I remember when I had to feed the server punchcards to run the same calculations I now run on my cell phone.

TheEmperor's picture

May I suggest we have a non-confidence vote for the German Chancellor.

We now need a strong Chancellor, perhaps I will be nominated

FinHits's picture

Chances are you wouldn't be as good Cancel-lor?

johngaltfla's picture

Is there a "ultra" popcorn that I can eat go with my Mic Ultra beer that I drink?

I'm on an austerirty diet.

Hansel's picture

I predict lots of mood swings and gnashing of teeth this weekend; people are anxious.  I sure hope I don't hurt myself on this limb way out here.

slaughterer's picture

I guess we will have to wait a bit longer for the launch of "Merkovy Hedge Fund, GmbH."  

czarangelus's picture

and the DOW is only down like 100 pts.

I'm convinced that all the trading on the stock market is now being done by the defective turret AI from Portal 2.



"...uh.... I'm Batman."

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture



right... soon it'll be a race of printing money over printing invitation cards, menues and whatnot for "ubersummitting"

Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Jesus Christ. This is worse than a soap opera.


I worked with a foreman years ago who would say, "do something, even if its wrong."

LawsofPhysics's picture

As a foreman, my comment is usually "always enough time to do it again, never enough time to do it right."

carbonmutant's picture

Why does it make that ticking sound?

Cone of Uncertainty's picture


Everybodys Fucking So Fucked

slaughterer's picture

EFSF = Europe For Suicide Fund

buzzsaw99's picture

EFSF = Emit Farts Smell Farts

RSDallas's picture

My bet is that Greece officially defaults and announces 70% haircuts within the next 10 days.  Start the countdown!  The ESFS turns into debtor in possession funds.

Threeggg's picture

What a theatre this whole world economy has become. Folks, all this marionetting for your viewing pleasure is for one steer investment to where they deem necessary to keep control. The dollar is the puppet that must trump all other puppets.  To keep control they must keep the reserve currency-petrodollar status of the U.S. dollar as strong as possible. So, they have to make "everything else" look like shit to impose the "so called" flight to safety. Nevermind that there is OP-EX in the stocks tomorrow (Hammer the PM stocks/longs into submission) and nevermind that we have OP-EX next Tuesday in the metals. There will be some kind of paper (debt) solution next week in the E.U. after all the OP-EX's are cleared or rolled. Big hammer coming up for PM's. Sub $1600 for Gold going into next weeks OP-EX............................BTFD !

Why do they have impeccable timing (every month) ?..........because they control "everything" with paper, a printing press and a keyboard.

Free and open market ?..............Muuuuhahahahahahahah !

Nobody For President's picture

"Luckily, we never promised readers to have a quota of only one stupid European story per hour or else we would be worse liars than the European bureaucrats who finally discovered the abacus and punch cards,..."


Just STOP this shit Tyler - I got this far and started spewing coffee - damn!

It can make me forget that this investing/speculating/day trading yo-yo shit is *serious*.  


And then you had to throw in toward the end:

"Is the catering bill so high that nobody thought of enacting a shorter than 48 hour cancellation policy?"

I mean, you could hurt somebody with this stuff, Tyler. 

FinalCollapse's picture

They forgot it is Octoberfest time, and no one will attend any meeting.

Thunder Dome's picture

When it boils down, in the end, Germany isn't going to co-sign for shit.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Check it out, more outright buying of gov paper on no volume, no manipulation there.

crash_davis's picture

one of the headlines at reuters is that the EU countries have agreed on 100 billion euros to recapitalize their banks (not enough money?), but some disagreements need to be worked out.    Happy happy joy joy.

crash_davis's picture

EFSF = Europen financial stability FAIL