Eurogroup Head Confirms "It Has Become Serious", As He Is Back To Lying

Tyler Durden's picture

The insolvent banana continent is back. Recall back in May 2011: 

When it becomes serious, you have to lie." -Jean Claude Juncker

Ergo, things in Europe are very serious again because the Eurogroup's head, who until recently promised he was quitting his post because "he had gotten tired of the Franco-German interference in managing the region's debt crisis", only to spoil the fun and say he was lying about that too, is back to doing what he does best - lying. To wit: "the euro countries are preparing together with the bailout fund EFSF and the European Central Bank to buy government bonds if necessary clip euro countries." And now cue Schauble: "Federal Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble has rejected speculation about impending purchases of government bonds by Spanish EFSF and ECB."

From Suddeutsche Zeitung:

"No time to lose": The chairman of the €-group sees a crucial point of the debt crisis has arrived. Jean-Claude Juncker supports plans by ECB chief Draghi for the purchase of government bonds - and Germany are partly to blame for the crisis. Berlin treats the euro area "as a branch." Also called "chatter on the withdrawal of Greece" is not helpful.


Juncker confirmed that the euro countries are preparing together with the bailout fund EFSF and the European Central Bank to buy government bonds if necessary clip euro countries. Because there is no doubt, he said. "It is still necessary to decide exactly what we will do and when." This depended "on the developments of the next few days and from reacting as fast as we need."

And to think only yesterday the only person whose opinion matters, Germany's Finance Minister,  "denied plans for a new aid program for Spain, according to newspaper Welt am Sonntag, after the media reported European Union leaders aim for Spanish government bond purchases by the European rescue fund and the European Central Bank."

We leave it up to readers to figure out which of the above two is telling the truth, but in the meantime, here are some other soundbites from the man who is back to desperation pleading with markets:

  • JUNCKER SAYS MARKET REACTION ON SPAIN, ITALY INAPPROPRIATE - indeed, central planners always know best

And funniest:

"All talk about the emergence of Greece is unhelpful"

Of course, it is much better to stick one's head in the sand and avoid the only possible outcome of this tragic farce that the implosion of Europe has become, and truly best to completely avoid any discussion of what happens in case of Plan B.

To summarize, from Reuters:

The euro zone is at a decisive point and leaders will work with the European Central Bank (ECB) to demonstrate their commitment to the stability of the single currency, Eurogroup head Jean-Claude Juncker said in interviews with European newspapers.


Juncker told Germany's Sueddeutsche Zeitung and France's Le Figaro in reports made available on Sunday that leaders would decide in the next few days what measures to take to tackle Spanish bond yields which last week touched euro-era highs. They had "no time to lose," he said.


Asked whether it was true that France wanted the bailout fund to buy government bonds, under an agreement made by euro zone leaders at their summit in June, but that Germany was resisting, Juncker answered:


"I have no doubt that we will implement the agreements of the last summit. We still need to decide what we will do when. That depends on the developments of the next days."

The European bailout fund, the European Financial Stability Fund (EFSF), will work together with the ECB without affecting its independence, he said.


"We will work in close agreement with the ECB, and we will, as <ECB President> Mario Draghi said, see results. I don't want to drive expectations, but I must say, we have reached a decisive phase."


Draghi said on Thursday he would do whatever was necessary to protect the euro zone from collapse, prompting expectations of a new bond-buying program.


"The euro countries have reached a point where we have to use all means possible to show that we are determined to protect the stability of the euro zone... nobody should doubt the will of those involved, to prove our determination," Juncker said.

To summarize:

i) since the head of the Eurogroup is back to outright refuting what Germany said a day earlier, Europe is once again back to Plan B - lying, which means things are again on the verge of an all out collapse, and plunge in the EURUSD, which, as a reminder, is precisely what the German export industry wants more than anything, and

ii) just like in the June 29 summit, beggars are again hoping they can be choosers, and can force Germany, by way of a full blown media onslaught in which they represent that a vague possibility is now a certain outcome, and thus have already set expectations about 5% higher than it would be otherwise, to succumb to the will of the beggars, and allow full blown debt monetization.

And like back then, so now, all we can say to the broke periphery, which now apparently include France, but as David Einhorn said, it will take bond traders a little longer to figure it out, is good luck. It will be desperately needed.

As an appendix, here is Juncker's hillarious attempt to justify lying to Spiegel magazine at critical inflection points:

SPIEGEL: Mr. Prime Minister, you are a Christian Democrat and a Catholic, which is why we want to talk to you about the Ten Commandments.


Juncker: I already have an idea of what you are getting at.

SPIEGEL: Are you familiar with the Eighth Commandment?

Juncker: Of course. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

SPIEGEL: Apparently you don't take it very seriously. More than two weeks ago, you denied a report by SPIEGEL ONLINE about a secret meeting of several European Union finance ministers to discuss the situation in Greece, even though the official limousines were already pulling up in Luxembourg.

Juncker: The most important commandment is not to inflict harm on others. Although it isn't stated quite that way in the Ten Commandments, it follows from them. The finance ministers of several Euro Group nations had agreed to meet on Friday with the president of the European Central Bank (ECB), Jean-Claude Trichet. Because the financial markets in Europe were still open and trading was still underway on Wall Street, we had to deny the existence of the meeting. Otherwise the course of the euro against the dollar, which had already fallen as a result of your report, would have plunged disastrously.

SPIEGEL: With this false denial, you not only harmed your own credibility, but that of European financial policy as well.

Juncker: And it didn't exactly enhance the credibility of SPIEGEL ONLINE to disseminate the false report that we were meeting in Luxembourg to discuss Greece's withdrawal from the monetary union.

SPIEGEL: Forgive us for saying so, but SPIEGEL ONLINE had obtained information to that effect from government sources, as well as a working document prepared specifically for this meeting for the German finance minister.

Juncker: It is not unusual for finance ministers to have documents with them that contain all of the issues being discussed in public. And the question of Greece's withdrawal from the monetary union is certainly being discussed in public. But that's a far cry from saying that the issue is on the agenda of a meeting. As a result, I had to be all the more careful to ensure that no unnecessary turbulence would occur in the markets.

SPIEGEL: Are you saying that, as a finance minister in the age of global capital markets, you cannot tell people the truth?

Juncker: I do not have a ready answer to your question. My main concern is to protect people from detriment. That's why I feel practically compelled to make sure that no dangerous rumors begin to circulate. I'm certainly not going to go to confession because of a false denial. God understands more about the financial markets than many who write about them.


SPIEGEL: When secret meetings are held and the truth isn't always being told, people gain the impression that there must be something wrong with this Europe.

Juncker: People understand perfectly well that politicians have to discuss sensitive issues behind closed doors. I had 10 seconds to decide how to react to the report in SPIEGEL ONLINE. Let us say, hypothetically, that I had said: "Okay, we are having a meeting, but I'm not going to tell you what we intend to talk about." That would have triggered a tsunami in the financial markets. Instead, I chose to produce a small wave of outrage over a white lie.

SPIEGEL: Nevertheless, we'd like to try aiming for the truth.

and so on

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Clint Liquor's picture

Someone needs to piss in Juncker's ear because his brains are on fire.

jcia's picture

The faster and harder it hits, the easier it will be to clean it up.

vast-dom's picture

the more i read the more i feel like we are in some kind of nightmare and we just need to wake up and SP will be at 600. 


i dined with a brokerage firm owner over the weekend and he said, "yeah the markets are rigged, but i can't be negative or think about all these things-- it's bad for my business." we both knew that he's in the business of selling hopium and i kept my mouth shut. i figured if enough of these people kept positive they'd sell more junk product and keep markets floating.....until.....¿¿¿¿¿¿¿

knukles's picture



Like dialogue from some dystopian novel:


"Berlin treats the euro area "as a branch."

"It is still necessary to decide exactly what we will do and when."

"It is still necessary to decide exactly what we will do and when."

"It is still necessary to decide exactly what we will do and when."

"It is still necessary to decide exactly what we will do and when."

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Ain't this the twilight zone shit.  He's telling the truth that he's a liar so now we can't believe his lies any longer.  WTF.

Element's picture


And now cue Schauble: "Federal Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble has rejected speculation about impending purchases of government bonds by Spanish EFSF and ECB."


Never believe anything will occur until it's been officially denied at least three times.


This must be number what by now?

The Big Ching-aso's picture



He might find it enjoyable if you pee in his ear.  I would try Number 2 instead.


Muppet of the Universe's picture

Fuck man.  How long are you all going to live in this hitting the fan moment?  The market is doing fine with likely little to no qe.  Bonds are bubbled, yes, but everything else is fine.  Gold is breaking upward, oil is still going up, the fantasy is still here.  Stop calling hitting the fan when this shit isn't hitting the fan!  Save this shit for when the fan is really being struck with dumptrucks of it.

Quaderratic Probing's picture

The fix for low prices is low prices....Let it fall and I will buy. Are you listening Ben?

The Monkey's picture

Instead of a tsunami, Draghi, Junker and the Fed pulled the waves back and invited investors for a swim.


Joebloinvestor's picture

He is pissing in everyone else's ear and calling it rain.

I am on to you's picture

Aint that, the famos fenonomen Called" Trickeling Downwards"the smeell might have slipped me"Innocent Me",but i thought the Color was strange!

You are completely right,Pax:Urinity Scums,they are!

Peter Pan's picture

The Euro itself is a lie so every statement, policy or act in its defence is a lie. It was a lie from the beginning to believe that you could have German and PIIGS finances operating in harmony. It was a lie predicated on Germany lending to the PIIGS so they could then buy MADE IN GERMANY. The Euro was a fabrication intended to create a temporary Franco German Empire on the way to a new world order.

And of course one day we will be presented with the need for a new world order for the benefit of man and planet and that will be the greatest lie of all.

In my books a lie can only be condoned when used to save a human life providing the human life is not the life of a lying politician, banker or bureaucrat.

Peter Pan's picture

i'm sorry Clint Liquor, but did you say BRAINS?

mick68's picture

So tired of kicked cans, lies, manipulation, and deferrals.

marz929's picture


Peter Pan's picture

Now I understand why Corzine lied. When things get serious you have to lie. May he rot in this world before he departs before the next.

bear333's picture

It seems to be that honesty and democracy are death. A new elite masters the world. It becomes time to wake up. 

Haager's picture

You're damn late, the party is about to end.

lotsoffun's picture

i'm not joking.  is that real? please.  is that real?


debtor of last resort's picture

Plan B is switching from PM's to crossbows and canned sardines. What's the problem?

Haager's picture

Canned sardines - just another metaphor for WMD.

debtor of last resort's picture

After sardines comes cannibalism. I've heard yanks go well with ketchup. Can i invite you for dinner, let's say, december 21?

Haager's picture

Big chance it will be either chinese or indian.

I assume it will be at the restaurant at the end of the universe?

debtor of last resort's picture

Hah! Nope, we are ALREADY living in an ordinary food chain within the same species: humans. Maybe it will be about survival soon. We'll see. Challenging times are ahead.

IMA5U's picture

If nothing is done on the Europe crisis Draghi and his cohorts should be in jail for lying

Atomizer's picture



We all need to take our money out? of the banks. They would collapse.

- 1 year ago

When Central Banks Rule the World 

The Plan To Collapse Iran's Central Bank 

Cuba is not on the Central Banking dole. Recently…….

Russia seeks to set up naval bases abroad

Naval chief confirms talks with Cuba, Vietnam and the Seychelles about setting up overseas facilities for Russian ships


Next, you will hear about country X smuggling nuclear armament to county Y.  

This is how they always spin the plot…

  • Kuwait
  • Afghanistan
  • Iraq
  • Egypt
  • Syria
  • Etc.. 
silvermaister's picture

totaly truee and buy silver !

caimen garou's picture

when it becomes serious you have to lie? well we are in a world of shit here in the USA and I doubt any of thoes asses know anything about the ten commandments!

DeadFred's picture

My biggest question is: How do we know Schauble is not the one who's lying? He is a politician after all.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

You can tell when he is lying...

His lips move :O)

Meesohaawnee's picture

well just trot out mario again for another 30pt pop in the spy.. there. problem solved.

granolageek's picture

>>Berlin treats the euro area "as a branch."<<

If you look at the British Empire circa 1900, Germany is pushing the latin block about as hard as Britain did its client states in southern Africa before the Boer War. London would never have dared play that rough with Canada or Australia at that time. Given the ultimate cost in blood and treasure, there's a good case to be made that going a bit slower with the Afrikaners would have been wise as well.


Given that the Kaiser provided every aid short of bootts on the ground to the losing side, Merkel and Schaubel might even find the info in the Foreign Ministry archives.

magpie's picture

...does the EU periphery also possess gold and diamond mines ?

Haager's picture

Poland does have a gold mine. Xstrata has a swiss background.

Does EU periphery include Kazakhstan and the UK?

jonjon831983's picture

"When it becomes serious, you have to lie."


q99x2's picture

Sunday is a great day to arrest them.

Conman's picture

What did you say? Speak louder. I'm too busy watching women's hand ball. You know a sport, if you can call it that, no one would ever watch if not for it being the Olympics

I'll say it again, the stock market is a complete joke. There is no credibility in it anymore, yet Benny wants everyone in it. How can governments only care about inflating stock markets with bullshit is beyond me. The stock market is clearly not the economy. There is not multiplier effect when markets re 70% computers. Are we hoping HAL 9000 buys more silicon and that jump the economy? incredible. You are better off doing actual money drops from the helicopter.

Giving banks more money to lend to people who cant afford it fixes nothing. Defaulting or debt forgiveness is the only way to solve a debt problem. It may not solve deficit issue but who cares we are printing anyway and that hasnt done anything for reducing debt, might as well do it directly.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Benny wants you in it

So his masters can cheat you out of it ;o)

samcontrol's picture

Since i,m French i,m gonna defend handball, one of the few sports we are good at.Hopefully as the dream team wins today so will France in handball, other countries need things to cheer about. Winning the 4x100 freestyle just isn,t enough even though it was my olympic moment this year.
Handball is very popular in some10 countries. In how many countries do you think Lacrosse is played? F, you call chearleading a sport....

ebworthen's picture

Extend and Pretend.

Europeans should now thoroughly doubt "your money is safe in our banks" and "austerity will return us to prosperity" type statements from these Warlocks and Harpies.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Warlocks and Harpies

You mean Warmongers and Herpes?

milanitaly's picture

Politics, policy and polity don't respect FightClub rules.

Are you surprised that they are changing idea? (germany too).

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Asked this earlier but not sure if anyone responded - apologies if you did.

At what point is it in Germany's interest to leave the Euro and return to the DM?

Ie. repudiate all agreements to date: renege on all common debt; refuse to continue to fund EFSF/ESM/E-whatever next; and simply redirect the money to sort out its own banks? At some point this has to become a no-brainer, right?

There might be some short-term benefits to keeping up appearances in that it allows the broken-assed periphery to mistakenly contribute to funding the current programmes/bailouts which, as we know, are simply pipelines straight back to the Northern banks - thanks PIIGS ;O) - but the tipping point must be out there somewhere. 

There has to be a formula for this - only I'm too dim to even begin to express it.

Anyone here good at maths?

canardo's picture

My guess would be that the moment it becomes more expensive to stay in the euro than to keep it alive is the time to watch out for.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Yeah - fizzakerly - but when is that?

n-z+root x = DM or summat like that?

dark pools of soros's picture

when greek whores live better than german workers