Eurogroup Press Conference In Progress

Tyler Durden's picture

Update 3: Conference begins now

Update 2: At this point the conference, if at all, will be held at 3:30 am CET. Probably would be better to just scrap it all, put a fork in Greece and go home. The second the 10 page Greek "sustainability" report hits the public it's lights out.

Update: 23:00 CET has come and gone. Next stop: midnight. As a reminder, the October 2011 official second Greek bailout announcement was delayed until 4 am.

According to a just released update on the website of the European Council, the much anticipated press conference "to end all press conferences" will take place at 23:00 CET, or 5 pm Eastern. What will then likely happen is another delay until midnight, then later, then finally when Europe is sleeping a few finance ministers will say that the Deal is virtually done, the terms of the PSI are agreed upon (except that "some" creditors, those who have a blocking stake, will vote no and force the use of CACs and thus trigger a default before March 20) with the exception of a few minor outstanding items, such as whose debt is cut to bring total Debt/GDP to 120% by 2020, which they hope to get resolved shortly. And so this latest and greatest meeting will come and go, and anyone who shorted the Belgian caterers will be broke when the market opens up tomorrow, when Belgian catering ETFs all go limit up.

Watch it live, or dead, or zombie, or however the mood suits, at the following webcast.

And the full statement:


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Irish66's picture

Front row seats still available..BYOB

nope-1004's picture

The shuffling of the deck continues.

Only difference here is that extra cards in this deck can be printed at will, with the rules of the game changing as the game is played.  Only in Olympia!


TruthInSunshine's picture

The suspense is killing me!!!!!!!!







*Long Belgian catering industry

CClarity's picture

The EU, EZ, ECB and IOC may be about to announce, with the FinMin group, that the Summer Olympics will be held in Greece, not London, this summer. The Germans will supply security, the Belgians will cater meals, and the UK will set up cheap housing ala the Costa del Sol.  

Most sporting events will be as expected except the marathon.  This year, the marathon will be held on the Pelaponnese and run through Marathon.  The competitors in this event will be TBTF bankers, hedge funds, and issuers of sovereign debt - sometimes Treasury type officials, sometimes legislators that just keep deficit spending.  It is expected to take months before a medal is awarded.

smiler03's picture

Photograph from the Daily Telegraph of a certain IMF person and a Greek person..

john39's picture

she looks like darth mall's mom.

tradebot's picture

Looks like Darth Vador's mom

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Tyler, stick a fork in it?  Can't we keep pretending there will be a bailout soon?  C'mon!  DJ 14k!  What about DJ 14k?!

Almost Solvent's picture

Thank god they were respectful enough to wait until Presidents Day was concluded here in the US, because that is the super nice respectful thing to do.


Next up Mardi Gras, followed by Ash Wednesday, so maybe they should just wait until Thursday at this point.



Shamrock Shakes back in the house too! Yippie Ky Ay Motherfuckers - Just the way St. Patrick would have wanted it.

engineertheeconomy's picture

And I thought the O J Simpson trial was a sideshow. They are just distracting our attention away from Ben's ponzi, which is at least a hundred million times bigger than any euro ponzi could ever hope to be. The euro is a non-event

Manthong's picture

And while we're waiting, in other news, one of the Kenyan National Ski Team's long-time and best boosters takes to the slopes.

After a challenging run down the double black diamond face wall she was heard to have exclaimed "It's so nice to take a break from all the grueling official state vacations to participate in one of my people’s ancient pastimes!”. Afterwards she joined her royal entourage for a traditional après-ski mug of hot coconut grog followed by a sit down roast antelope dinner.

erg's picture

Greenwich has been replaced with Rip Van Winkle.

Winkle Mean Time.

flacon's picture

I'm watching the newscast.... All I have to say is that Central Planners are the scum of the earth! 

AbruptlyKawaii's picture


Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

It started!  Finally....wait, second to last question?????  This is going to end quicker than an Obama speech!

AbruptlyKawaii's picture

legard said she will take it to imf bord and have a decision by the 2nd week of march that is if greece takes care of its end by end of will never end

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Last many questions were there?  Three?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

EFS?!  What the fuck is that?  The next acility?  How many of these facilities are there?  Europe is giving QE a run for its $$!

AbruptlyKawaii's picture

lol wtf, i never herd of esf, it aint gonna end man......its not gonna end man....nerver gonna end...

flacon's picture

They don't want too many questions to be asked... just "TRUST US" we've got it under control. .... now... it's time for bed.... and that Finnish guy (Ollie) needs to learn how to speak without saying "Uhhh... uhhh..." all uhh.... the... uhhh... time... uhhh....

TruthInSunshine's picture


I'm glad it's all resolved now.



That was a close call.

flacon's picture

We march to March 20th. The sound of ineviatbility. 

flacon's picture

Uhhh... yes... uhh... it... uhhh... is... uhh... isn't... uhhh... it... uhhh.... 

I wonder if they transcribe that into the official minutes.... I hope... uhh... so... uhhh...

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

So a phone call between him and Bernanke would be:





TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


huh huh,

hey Beavis, pull my finger.


AbruptlyKawaii's picture

none of them believe a word of any of this and they know it!


nice cut off ending, what a farce. that was like the time i gave cash to a hooker only she just danced and left...

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Did you like that "enjoy your breakast" line?  Wink wink......

Turd Ferguson's picture

Deja vu?

On 9/6/11, at the conclusion of a U.S. 3-day weekend, the SNB announced a euro peg for the swissie, effectively devaluing by 10%. Though this was extremely gold-positive, gold was smashed in the minutes before the announcement. The raid continued thru Tuesday, the 7th and gold finished down almost $50.

Fast forward to tonight. The end of a 3-day weekend. Some gold positive news out of Europe. An overnight beatdown coming? Watch the price action at the 3:00 am EST LBMA open and be prepared for anything.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

This is the most insane shit I have ever heard.  Greece must implement austerity, or else the loans will not be secured.

It's like kicking a man while he's down and telling him to get up.


Turd, I'll be buying everyday next week...and the next.  I'm looking to unload cash at $1680.  Hopeully it happens sooner than later.

Bring it, bitchez!

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

indeed. This is what the turds all looked like during the flush:

Nobody For President's picture

Not a babe you would want to meet in a dark alley...

Zymurguy's picture

"Do I make you horney?"

Reese Bobby's picture

That is one unhappy fella.

TruthInSunshine's picture

They keep delaying this. How can they be so cruel?

That's like delaying the Superbowl....or the World Cup....or Jon Corzine delaying answering how he made 1.6 billion disappear.

flacon's picture

John Corzine: I Did Not, Have, Sexual, Relations, with THAT Woman, M.F. Global


chump666's picture


"delaying" reality is the new normal. 

FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

TWEET FROM DJ FX TRADER: "Greece's official creditors have asked private bondholders to write down at least 53% of the face value of their holdings"


Reuters Breaking 5 Minutes Ago:

"Euro zone reaches deal on second Greek bailout package"


I assume this means IF the Private hoilders agree to get screwed, and not trigger a credit event.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Kicking the can on meeting to plan for...kicking the can.

You can evade reality, but you cannot evade the consequences for evading reality. -Ayn Rand

dogbreath's picture

the conclusion to that article is still  " we have the answer and it is more debt just not for the greeks"  .


TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

+1 for the Euro Viagra.

Based on what Christine Lagarde said (overnight they managed to reduce Greece's debt to GDP ratio from 129% to 120%), I think they have the accountants huffing chloroform and eating roofies.


palmereldritch's picture

In Greece that's going to be known as the Everlasting Jobstopper

skistroni's picture

Make erections, not elections!

Nozza's picture

Bring your own bank lol


hedgeless_horseman's picture



Bernanke thought it meant Buy Your Own Bonds.