Europe Goes Full Bailout Retard: EFSF Rescue Capital To Be Officially Double-Counted
Europe has officially entered the Tropic Thunder zone, where one, forget one thousand , monkeys armed with one simple solar-powered calculator, can come up with a better plan than (JP Morgan-advised) Europe. Because as we pointed out on Thursday, "nothing changes the fact that with €100 billion set aside for bank recaps, a woefully low number and one which will do nothing to assure investors that banks have sufficient capital, there is still not enough cash to "guarantee" all future issuance" - well it appears that Europe finally did the math which led us to conclude that the EFSF is DOA. So what is Europe's solution? Why double counting aid already pledged of course: "EU bank plan may include aid already pledged to bailout states-sources." Uh, what? "A drive to lift bank capital across Europe by up to 110 billion euros ($153 billion) is expected to include the roughly 46 billion euros already pledged to Ireland, Greece and Portugal to help their lenders, EU sources told Reuters....Another official confirmed the intention to count money already earmarked for banks in Ireland, Greece and Portugal in any recapitalisation plan. "The problem with shock and awe numbers is that it implies that the money is there," said one official, reflecting on ministers' reluctance to set public goals for recapitalisation. "But governments don't have the money."... Just as was repeated here over and over and over and over... And yes, that red stuff shooting out of the place where your head was a few second ago, is blood. It is now Europe's official "plan" (for at least the next 2-3 hours) to use mystical, magical money, which is somehow double-counted to bail out both a bank and a country at the same time...
Ugh:
If over a third of the EU's bank recapitalisation drive, which investors hoped would inject more than 100 billion euros of fresh money, is accounted for under old bailout programmes markets are likely to react with disappointment.
It would effectively shrink the overall package, designed to protect EU banks from the fallout of a Greek default and ease their borrowing difficulties amid a creeping credit freeze, from more than 100 billion euros to something around 60 billion.
It would also rest the burden for EU bank recapitalisation in large part on Spain, Italy and France, which one official said together accounted for roughly 45 percent of the overall shortfall found in recent checks of EU banks by supervisors.
The matter is due to be discussed in the run-up to Wednesday's second summit of European leaders and countries may yet change tack to increase the planned boost for banks.
...
Well, it's official: the lunatics have taken over the Titanic.
(29 votes)
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You are correct, it does not compute - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieuBkWHfCuc
So the plan is to leverage up double-counted non-existent guarantee money to stave off a solvency, err ... liquidity problem?
Brilliant
This plan is kind of like saying "Since there are blank checks in my check book, there must be money in my account to spend!" Wow, they must think the general EURO population are complete idiots, was this one of Timmy's ideas?
You ever think they want to half ass it and let it liquidate ?
http://freegoldobserver.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html
In all fairness, the Europeans are no different from the Yanks with respect to either beingst awares of or comprehending the implications of what seems to be well and truly happening.
Most are similarly captives of their own MSM. No difference.
The major difference between the thems and usses is that we denzins of ZH-land Like This Kind of News and Topics. We Thrive upon Them. We believe Them to be Important. The rest of the world, whether here or there or anywhere, call them "normies" as we're the exceptions to the rule, either don't know nor really give 2 shits.
It's us versus them normies fearless leaders, trying to figure out how to adapt, to survive....
Like SD mentions... they don't care. J
ust as we know ours don't care.
It only works until the first check bounces.
In theory Yes, but in fact the bank will cash multiple bad checks under the premise if it pays the funds out it can then go back to the issuer and demand the currency along with Non-Sufficient Funds and Overdraft fees. They will generally go for about 10 to 15 bad checks before they cut them off. Then they begin adding the daily account in overdraft status fees that compound the problem and increasing the amount owed. The whole time actually thinking they will really get the money from those who obviously don't have it! Hooray for paper they say until they don't get paid! Then it's Hey Taxpayer can you help me out again!!!
Seriously doesnt anybody get it. The Markets are exactly as retarded as they have to be to buy on this shit. Merkozy knows this, they dont care about non existing Problems, this is all a Market Show.
You know... This is a great idea. I think I shall inform my bank that I am going to double count all the money I have too. They should adjust their accounting accordingly.
www.pmbug.com
+1
I just sent the bank an email. I'll refresh every minute waiting for a response.
I just bought a small solar panel farm and part of a forest. It was easy. I'm going shopping for an electric tractor now.
I hope your +3 (and growing obviously) are sarcasm.
Sarcasm; that I can believe in ... but your delivery sir ... dry, very dry.
Regards,
Cooter
NO we all just ought to tell these Governments that are considering this that also OUR TAXES we PAID ARE DOUBLED.
That ought to fix the problem. We get almost as much as we paid in as a "refund".
GREAT!!!!
Actually, funny you should mention that ... the government is on top if it!
Oh, except double means half, but its glass half empty, glass half full right?
Surely you on the side of the ... government.
Regards,
Cooter
I can see the problem with Europe's plan: they aren't going big enough!
Why stop at double-counting? Why not triple-counting?
Why not counting the money over and over again until you come up with whatever number the market wants?
You guys just don't think big enough!
But, but, if you're counting a folded wad of notes you take out of your jeans' pocket, front-to-back, you only double your money!
OR, if you flip the wad inside-out, you can have 4 times the money!
Yeah! Yeah! That's the ticket!
Your're right bernorange...I just double counted all my assets and it turns out I'm pretty well off...I plan on recounting tommorow and becoming rich!!!
LMAO, I tried it on Friday, the didn't think it was funny. I decided to leave the bank before the cops showed up.
Seriously, why is this so surprising? The US has done things just as stupid ever since the FED came into existence.
You say that almost like you expect there to be a problem.
I promise you, the market will love it.
And here we are:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-15426510
Markets up. Doesn't matter if it'll work, the can has as you say met foot. The problems are now someone elses problems.
Two girls, one cup.
"Diineelaaaaaaand!!!"
Sure it does. The banks ARE the country. Who runs things, again? Who bails out whom? Wouldn't you say those who wind up with all the money - printed or taken by force, are those in power? So if the banks are fine, so are the countries, according to the banks anyway, and what other opinion matters in fact?
Even Simple Jack knoews you never go full retard!
You mean ultra FUCKTARD?
Postponing the inevitable and ultimately magnifying the disaster -- way to wind up the great unwind!
FUCKTARDS ALL ABOARD!
I was gonna say... Not sure full retard's the floor.
might as well triple, no wait, quadriple, no wait x1000000000000000000 count it
bail out fund > 9000 TRILLION
we are saved
Exactly what I was suggesting.
NOW you are thinking like a politician!
Yeah ... but then they realize their hooker-and-blow cost 1000000000000000 ... then they are sad ...
Oh, and their constituents burn them at a pyre, mostly because they are hungry. Sort of like a redneck pig roast ... 'cept their ain't no road kill ... I 'suppose we could call it budget kill ...
Don't mean to be eatin' people ya'll, just callin' out the pol's and the damage they be doin' to their constituents. Workin' folks gotta' eat, ya' know ...
Regards,
Cooter
Full Retard is what the world owners have been doing forever. This is people figuring out they are just here to work at the hotel. And the end of mints on the pillows or clean sheets or couches without piss on them.
Like i always say, if you are going to go retard, go FULL RETARD, don't hold back.
Alhough, might want to keep that amongst the adults, as my six year old suggested that to his first
grade teacher the other day, which resulted in a veritable shitstorm when i picked him up from school.
My response was uncontrollable laughter.. Of course.
I think is getting increasing clear that just shooting the FUCKTARDS will save the entire world a helluva lot of money. I mean this is getting downright fucking stupid. IF the markets go up on this again, then it is time to really in real life just killing these fucking useless greedy corrupt pricks.
Sadly, it will be a historic starvation.
Nations with significant military resources (i.e. nukes) will have a small minor population that is "spared" (in exchange for securing of said weapons), but by and large, in 10 years I expect a dramatically smaller global population. Even if nukes are unsecured, the likelihood of a a rogue getting a long range delivery system is small. I genuinely expect to see entire regions starved out of existence across the globe.
If you are planning to breathe air in 10 years, you are about to live through the most brutal human situation in the history of our species.
I don't want to be this negative, I just don't see another "out" with odds worth a shit.
Regards,
Cooter
Full Fucktard is much more polite and appropriate than retard. thank you
It's like somebody dying, they are clinging to every second of live when they know that it's going to happen. They know that the EU will be defunct and the Euro also, but they are afraid because it will change the power of europe.
Stupid is as stupid does :p
Edit: spelin
Whenever i think you couldn't do anything more stupid than this, you pull something like to me....
I LOVE IT! iT'S GREAT!
I like this one from Dumb and Dumber better:
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!
I do not think that the math that they use means what they think that it means.
Politicians are so used to double counting money they think that's how things are supposed to work.
So much depends on what the meaning of "is" is. Odervice, ve are zimplly filling our depends;)
It was that one that i meanth :)
It's a classic, and i love it :)
This one from Dummer has relevance to the coming US meltdown:
Loyd (asking why Harry felt safe risking his life wearing a bullet-proof vest): "What if they shot you in the face?"
Harry (to the Feds): "Yeah, what if they shot me in the face?"
Feds: "That was a risk we were willing to take."
"Hey Ben, What if overseas Treasury holders started dumping their bonds?"...
yawn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5ILBwQ-gW8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MyToTwag34
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFn1G2goDQw&feature=related
still talking the same shit
It's nice watching history. What was that called. Operaton steal enough to get us to 2000.
EUR/USD has reversed and is now higher.
It takes a couple hours for the market to digest triple upside down reverse psychology
Ah....Bob, the HFT's never wake up. And the market isn't a market. You can't start from a false paradigm.
Of course the EUR/USD is higher. Perhaps the market has become the ultimate discounting machine and is factoring in LSAP knowing full well the USA won't allow the status-quo to implode just yet...
And the market would be right. Problem is, how is the world does Ben do LSAP while assets across the spectrum are already melting-up and all appears well in America (Just read Robotraders post or look around you, Americans are living large right now as every football stadium nearly sold out this weekend--College and Pro, while the world series in lighting up the American Spirit).
The one good thing: there's going to be some serious light at the end of the tunnel by the time this week is over.
the ONLY liquidity is USD from the Fed...desperate Euro banks get it via swaps, sell USD buy Euro. Euro goes up...hey, confidence!
When you hear, repeatedly, that markets are broken...pay attention. Broken markets send out false signals...
Until markets re-assert themselves.
That light is one big freakin train headed this way. You better turn and run like the dickens.
They love it. You knew they would, you just knew it.
EUR/USD to 1.45 during the "Ode to Joy" that accompanies the final glorious Europe bailout "final solution" on Wednesday. LOL.
HAHA!!!
We can all do this with our taxes right?
Uh..already paid that last year.
wait til CNBS tells stocks that they can lever up the double counted money! off to the races
They miss the days where they could just say they were making plans. This whole having to create details for plans is a real pain.
just pull the pug already...
Smart people are leaving europe by the droves.
Full scale war about to break out.
yep.
smart people are leaving europe to go to Ws to join/watch the fun. Full scale war about to break out.
lol...going where? Tunisia?
I heard Greeks were leaving en masse to Canada and Australia. I think it was on NPR. The Canadian office in charge of VISAS were so bogged down with correspondence, they were trying to push the load onto the Canadian consulate/embassy in Greece.
Arch-Dukes must be really shitting in their huggies.
We've got no air-dropped nukes. No aircraft carriers. Tired out infantry / armoured divisions. No cash. Fat and lazy youth unsuitable for drafting or any type of work. We could be shafted. Make that, ARE shafted.
God Save the Queen
I'm Bullish, going long btw
Yep. It's gonna be trenches, wire and machine guns all the way baby. Just like the good old days. Long the gas, here we go!
So THAT'S why they trained us combat engineers to still breach wire with bangalores....
And here I thought "That's SO, like WWIish...."
Britz will figure out a way when pressed. Grunts will get a spot-o' rest and be good to go. - Ned
Umm...the German army is "unionized". Not sure about this war thingie.
Ahmeexnal
Smart people are leaving europe by the droves.
Pray tell where are they going???...................
Also, who is going to war with who over there?.
You versus You
SSDD
It's the show, baby!
hey! let's go to canada! their real estate never goes down! if ya'll knows where canada is at!
Switzerland will remain neutral in this war (as in the previous ones). Many will line up trying to cross into CH. Switzerland will once again be a safe haven and so will it's currency.
Many have been going to LatAm, Africa, India and SE Asia. They believe their euros will last longer there. That will be true, until the euro hyperinflates. Then they'll be left holding a bagfull of shit. At least they'll survive.
> > Smart people are leaving europe by the droves.
Yeah, that's right, swarms of peops fleeing to free-market fully-deregulated Somalia, wide-open Siberia, open-society Asia, politically stable America-Sud, and good ole' rootin'-tootin' aint-habeas-no-darn-corpus U SS of Amen.
i'm in Europe awaiting the carnage ...be assured the place is huge, the open spaces near empty and the only rioting is going to be in built-up urban areas (hopefully 100% targeting bankers and Govt buildings)
another 20% off rental prices are more than welcome.. the prices in Marbella, Cannes and London are still sky high ...there won't be any war either, we've enough going on in Arabia and Asia to bankrupt our Defence Departments already
Bring on Hell... the cleansing of the rotten from the system is very welcome
That was unexpected. WHAAAAAT!?
This should be good for a 40 handle drop in the S$P! Collapse, bitchez!
Should
Exactly. Funny thing about collapses, first reality must be accepted. Until then, we can go much higher. Think about it this way, the Greek one year bond is now yielding 160%. It simply must be true, right, otherwise it would be listed right there in black and white as one of my investment options. One thing is for sure, we are all about to get a lot "richer".
1 year greek bond 183%
BOFA predicting another US downgrade within weeks.
http://www.businessinsider.com/huge-prediction-from-bofa-another-us-debt...
In an analyst note, Bofa/ML Ethan S. Harris drops a bit of a bombshell prediction:
We expect a moderate slowdown in the beginning of next year, as two small policy shocks—another debt downgrade and fiscal tightening—hit the economy. The “not-so-super” Deficit Commission is very unlikely to come up with a credible deficit-reduction plan. The committee is more divided than the overall Congress. Since the fall-back plan is sharp cuts in discretionary spending, the whole point of the Committee is to put taxes and entitlements on the table. However, all the Republican members have signed the Norquist “no taxes” pledge and with taxes off the table it is hard to imagine the liberal Democrats on the Committee agreeing to significant entitlement cuts. The credit rating agencies have strongly suggested that further rating cuts are likely if Congress does not come up with a credible long-run plan. Hence, we expect at least one credit downgrade in late November or early December when the super Committee crashes.
Let me know when the predict their own collapses - yawn.
There is nothing else to say. Let the chips fall.
Exactly. They can't even put a decent spin on it.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, and the € has appreciated 10% against gold in the last month.
Disaster for exports ;)
RALLY TIME 2!!!!
less is more bitchez
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmfE4KAZicY
Whoot, using this method I am now a billionaire in assets. I just kept on recounting my assets until I hit the number I wanted. I should go to the bank and leverage this new found wealth!
why not? Thats what mark-to-myth is all about.. Ask FASB
Double your pleasure - double your fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeEX3Cn8NgU
Just as the stock market can remain irrational longer than a rational investor can remain solvent, the EU sovereigns can remain irrational, even reaching peaks of undreamed of insanity, longer than taxpayers can remain solvent.