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Europe "Welcomes" The Spanish Bailout

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One just can't come up with better wording if one tried. From Bloomberg:

  • EUROGROUP WELCOMES SPANISH REQUEST FOR FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE
  • EUROGROUP SAYS CYPRIOT RESCUE IS `WARRANTED AT THIS STAGE'
  • EUROGROUP SAYS SPAIN BANK NEEDS ESTIMATE AT EU51B TO EU62B
  • EUROGROUP SEEKS `AMBITIOUS MEASURES' FROM CYPRUS ON BANKS

And a little change in the original plans:

  • EUROGROUP SAYS SPAIN TO REQUEST TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE FROM IMF

Now Europe is looking to welcome other broke countries for which Germany will pay.

 

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Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:21 | 2564865 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What the hell is "technical assistance"? Is that anything like kinetic action?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:23 | 2564880 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

For "technical assistance", press 1

For ZIRP, press 2

For NIRP, press 3

For all other queries, please press 0 or stay on the line and the next available bankster will be with you momentarily

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:31 | 2564927 veyron
veyron's picture

In real terms isnt ZIRP really NIRP in disguise?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:34 | 2564941 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

NIRP is ZIRP's drunk uncle

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:37 | 2564954 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

It's got a more twang to the name.....it also has electrolytes.

 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:39 | 2565161 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Which plants crave.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:27 | 2565304 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

NIRP is not ZIRP, but ZIRP is almost always NRIRP.

Negative means less than zero in nominal terms.

Negative Real IRP means it could be anything, but that the interest rate minus the inflation rate is less than zero.

Anytime inflation is greater than interest rates you are losing wealth by holding currency and bonds, so metals get the nod. This has been the case for a while now, and will continue to be.

Keep stacking.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:23 | 2564885 BandGap
BandGap's picture

That would be how to turn on the printer.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:31 | 2564926 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

IMF Technical Assistance...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:35 | 2564943 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Bonds.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:36 | 2564949 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I think they found those in Stauss-Kahn's desk after he left, right next to the ball gag and riding crop.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:05 | 2565043 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Nah, LaGarde has her own

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:06 | 2565037 who-is-john-galt
who-is-john-galt's picture

Genius!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:28 | 2564904 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"Technically speaking, yes, we did receive assistance, but I want to stress that everything is fine and we did not need a bailout."

 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:33 | 2564936 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

"technical assistance"

How do you counsel regarding bankruptcy at this level? What would you call that? 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:49 | 2565183 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

To get the money, how do we...

1. "Kiss the Ring"...which finger ?  How many times ?  With tongue ?

2. "Kiss the Ass"....same as above...or any other technical manuevers.

3. "Bend Over" ...what is the best position for EZ entry ? and extraction of funds ? 

All very technical questions with 'right' and 'wrong' approaches for the virgin or initiate prostration.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:50 | 2564998 battle axe
battle axe's picture

"technical assistance" translation: Please, oh please, bail my broke ass out. 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:22 | 2564869 Jason T
Jason T's picture

OT..somewhat: http://www.larouchepub.com/pr_lar/2012/120626_geithner_bernanke_megabail...

Capitol Hill sources have confirmed that Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke are demanding that Congress prepare emergency legislation for yet another hyperinflationary bailout of the hopelessly bankrupt trans-Atlantic financial system. For the past week, the two men have been meeting secretly with leading Congressional Democrats and Republicans, demanding that they draft new legislation to bail out the banks on an even larger scale than after the 2008 collapse.

According to several Congressional sources, Geithner and Bernanke have pledged that they will do everything in their power to flood European banks with bailout funds through the Federal Reserve, but they candidly admit that it may be impossible, and that Congressional action may be required. If the crisis hits, they warn, there must be legislation already prepared, because the speed and magnitude of the crisis may require extraordinary intervention to "save the system."

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564905 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

financial terrorists, plain and simple.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:32 | 2565320 Chump
Chump's picture

Doesn't matter.  It will come far too quickly, and these assholes don't even realize that continuing to print will exacerbate the crisis this time around.  I'm looking forward to it, in a sadomasochistic sorta way.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:22 | 2564871 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I welcome with open arms my alien overlords.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:07 | 2566609 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Please Sir, May I have some more.

 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:22 | 2564874 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

remember when there was capitalism and failures were frowned upon. now, they're celebrated. even if there is no money to pay for it. welcome spain into the "you're fucked club". enjoy the riots!!!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:30 | 2564923 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

I've been around for a few decades and I don't remember when failures were frowned upon. Ever!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:00 | 2565030 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Exactly, bad behavior has been rewarded for quite some time now.

Anyone actually remember when the management and share holders had to pay back the creditors when a private company failed?  Nowadays, they simply buy a politician and get a bailout from the taxpayer.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:23 | 2564877 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I would welcome a bailout too!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:23 | 2564878 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Indentured servants are always welcome.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:24 | 2564888 Cursive
Cursive's picture

51B - 62B?  LOL.  Try 10 times that.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564903 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

leverage .. ?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564910 BandGap
BandGap's picture

No stated time frame, just like Greece. Take the money in manageable chunks, head back when you need more.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:32 | 2564916 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Agreed. Bye bye ECB.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:25 | 2564893 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Is there a sign up sheet for this free money bonanza? And, WTF, IMF = US taxpayers, because we're there when it matters? How about taking care of the folks at home, assholes?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564901 TheDarkKnight
TheDarkKnight's picture

51 billion? Sure, because it sounds so much better than "We need 51 billion every 3 months til infinity"

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:38 | 2564957 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I fear even that wouldn't do it, after not very long at all.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:17 | 2565083 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Is this a weekly loan

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564902 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Will the ring kissing be televised ?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:41 | 2564968 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Nop, inner circle only.

If you're not invited yet... that means your the one who will have to pay for it.

 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564907 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

Call me paranoid, but I'm starting to think that we are witnessing a well rehersed show, as opposed to a developing crisis.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:41 | 2564967 BBullionaire
BBullionaire's picture
In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 15:15 | 2565996 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

Both to ABRAXSAS and BB,

I had the same nagging suspicion since 2007.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:27 | 2564908 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

This is not funny!

Yet, why am I laughing?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:30 | 2564922 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Welcome to bizarro.....again. Crazy people laugh at shit all the time, obviously you have been driven insane by this crazy cash give-away!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:38 | 2564959 machineh
machineh's picture

It's TEOTWAWKI ... and I feel fine!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:28 | 2564909 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

The more the market goes up on words and fluff, the more complacency will be injected into the summit killing off hopes of any meaningful policy change. Stupid algos continue to NOT learn that you can't put the cart before the horse.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:39 | 2564962 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

They put the chart before the horse and fool him into drinking.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:28 | 2564912 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

Is this what popped the SP 7 pts in 9 minutes @ 10:03?   WTF?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:28 | 2564913 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

King World News dead wrong again.

 

Housing is recovering, housing stocks like LEN soaring to 3-year highs

Meanwhile there is no inflation, the consumer is booming, and gold and silver remain in the tank.

 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:36 | 2564946 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Wow, outright lies now?

Weren't you banned?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:36 | 2564952 Cleverbot
Cleverbot's picture

Yes, of course. I'm sorry I am always so happy to talk with you.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:51 | 2565001 WineSorbet
WineSorbet's picture

Actually, as much as it pains me to say it, Robo is right.  Every where I look, restaurants are packed, stores are packed, I see new BMWs, Audis and Mercedes everywhere.  Hell even high tech companies are hiring like mad.  And real estate, come to NYC.  No problems here.  There may be an underclass growing but there is plenty above them to keep this beast sailing along.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:57 | 2565023 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Have's vs Have-not's? Shrinking middle class?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:26 | 2565303 Chump
Chump's picture

Actually, Robo is wrong, and so are you.  Housing has not even "recovered" to 1981 levels.  Unemployment is increasing, despite the game-playing and "positive" effect of people rolling off long-term benefits.  "High-tech" companies are hiring like mad?  Like who?  Like how many positions?  Like how many are filled by H-1B visa holders?  Does this alleviate the pressure when tens of thousands of people apply for a hundred openings turning widgets at one of the few remaining manufactoring companies in America?  How does this mesh with record levels of food stamps recipients every fucking month?

Wow, real estate in NYC is strong and some housing sector stock that Robo hindsight traded for an eleventy billion dollar profit is up today.  Holy shit, we're saved.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 13:12 | 2565458 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

"there is no inflation"

This is really anecdotical, in mom's basement there is no inflation because food magically appears in refrigerator.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:29 | 2564918 Txo
Txo's picture

51-62 bln my ass.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:32 | 2564929 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Is that Per Bank?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:41 | 2564971 machineh
machineh's picture

Errr, it's 'per depositor,' after only a handful are left. :-(

Like the joke about the agricultural extension agent in an urban county who laments, 'My farmer just died.'

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:43 | 2564978 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

Per branch.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:32 | 2564930 e-recep
e-recep's picture

yes, but who is going to rescue the rescuers?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:33 | 2564932 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Erm, I am right in saying that it hasn't actually been GIVEN yet, aren't I?

DavidC

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:44 | 2564984 machineh
machineh's picture

Dude, they haven't even raised the funds yet.

We're talkin' about multi-billions of VAPORWARE!

Soon to be multi-trillions, since vaporware can be produced instantly at zero cost.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:33 | 2564935 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

So Spain is requesting 25%-50% of what they need, and the money is to come from the EFSF?

Where is the EFSF getting the money from? Mars or the money tree?

Wow if they can double down on this brilliance the dow will hit 20k.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:51 | 2565002 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Unlike the ESM, which hasn't been approved by various Parliaments yet, the EFSF did get approved and has some remnant money.  Probably about that much.  THAT is why so little is being stated as needed.

The real maneuver is Greece again.  The hospitalizations let them avoid audit this week, perhaps helping markets everywhere for their June 30 quarterly/1st half results.  Next week will be a killer when their failures become clear.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:34 | 2564939 magpie
magpie's picture

Oh noes proud Spain, don't accept teh moneyz, it's a trap !

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:38 | 2564940 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

So the lying bastard Jean Claude Jucnker doesn't even do his own calculations or hires someone for this job. He just takes whatever Wyman/Berger and the Spanish government made up and that's it. This is outrageous.

They aren't even trying to fix this whole thing, are they?!

edit: pari passu my ass!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:42 | 2564976 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

"They aren't even trying to fix this whole thing, are they?!"

When folks get it that they can't fix it, a deep peace will set in. They will lie until supply chains fail.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:43 | 2564979 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

"SPAIN TO REQUEST TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE FROM IMF" ?

Parachute in a technocrat as Spain's PM

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:50 | 2564997 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

All that money sitting in the coffers of the rescuers is fantastically impressive. And why wasn't it used yesterday to rescue the people living with less than $1 a day? Is it because they don't threaten to destroy the global financial system or simply because they don't know the right people? Either way, lock the bastards that get bailed out for failing. A system that rewards failure will always spawn failure. 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:00 | 2565029 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Imagine this scene for a moment.

Could you forsee a room of delegates from any of the biggest banking institutions.  Say 100 of the top, very top of the tree execs, full of posture and bravado, with the whole of the world(read MSM) present and correct.

Now imagine they roll in the audience.  200 very pissed off, very clued up ZHers?  And all we have are cricket bats, and baseball bats.

Now just imagine, hear me out dissenters, that some fucker locks the doors.

Now please ellaborate my good friends.  Who wins??

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:32 | 2565313 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

Casey Jones and the Furies would wreck those suckas.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:06 | 2565047 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

And this is prebailout

Spain (gov) has $36 B budget deficit through May, just 5 months. It doesn't include regional gov debt. Taxes going up, over 400 prescriptions planned to be dropped. If approved this measure, the state will cease to provide 60% of these medications as usual and the citizen has to bear the full amount.

But of course we'll just hear about the bank bailout (which I wish wouldn't occur), but probably will.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:16 | 2565077 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Ihrer Willkommen and come back soon for more.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:19 | 2565087 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

You should have said "you're" instead of "your" in google translate.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:25 | 2565103 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Vielen Dank, dass sie lady

LOL. Just kidding.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:13 | 2565263 Eurodollar
Eurodollar's picture

I welcome cheap Spanish villas with infinity pools and a nice sea view. 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:26 | 2565299 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

Surprise surprise! Have a special drawing right.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 14:36 | 2565833 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

IMFquisition comes to Spain.

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