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European Caption Contest: Broke Proletariat Liars Of Europe, Unite

Tyler Durden's picture


Broke Eurogroup viceroy Jean-Claude Juncker meets broke Greek P(anhandling)M(aster) Antonis Samaras. Will a happy ending finally result? Stay tuned as Greece (and the Eurogroup) beg for Germany to finally stop saying "9".


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Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:36 | 2729624 Mister Ponzi
Mister Ponzi's picture

Where is his purse?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:40 | 2729629 spankthebernank
spankthebernank's picture

Are those fangs in my neck?!?!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:23 | 2729709 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Could just shorten the process and ask if anyone in Euroland is honest these daze.....




....anyone at all.


Still waiting....


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:58 | 2730071 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

NEIN is JA until it's not.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 10:07 | 2730108 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

"Will you be my friend... ...Godfather ?"

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 10:16 | 2730152 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

"Tap your foot in airport stall 3 times to give and 4 times to receive"

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 20:12 | 2732174 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Get your hands on my shoulders and out of my pockets."

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:45 | 2729634 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

"Hug the enemy" -- Marshal Zhukov, Stalingrad

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 20:37 | 2732220 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

J: What do you have when you have two little green balls in your hand?
A: Wha?
J: kermit's undivided attention!
A: You kill me with the muppet jokes J!  So the eurobonds are on then!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:38 | 2729627 Peter K
Peter K's picture

You personally guarenteed the German bailout package?  Come here big guy.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:40 | 2729631 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Antonis, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:24 | 2729935 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

I slipped you my room key, we'll end this happy and together!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:41 | 2729633 malikai
malikai's picture

I didn't see a cup with change in it. What kind of beggar doesn't have a cup and change?

Fuckin amateurs.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:42 | 2729635 cabtrom
cabtrom's picture

I just sharted!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:44 | 2729636 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Psst....hey Jean....don't forget to tell Angela (hee hee) that she's looking good.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:17 | 2729714 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



That butt doesn't look big at at in can hardly see it!


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:43 | 2729637 Wm the Shrubber
Wm the Shrubber's picture

I know it was you, Fredo!  You broke my heart!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:45 | 2729642 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Nothing happens to him while mom is alive. :)

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:51 | 2729654 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

If I say a hail-mary, I'll catch a fish.

(Or will I sleep with a fish?)

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:20 | 2729723 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Hey I've got an idea!


Let's go fishing today.


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:24 | 2729739 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Let's take some banker's fishing today.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 10:13 | 2730135 Tippoo Sultan
Tippoo Sultan's picture

Caption of the Year, Shrubber.


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:45 | 2729639 Silver Kiwi
Silver Kiwi's picture

Come to Poppa


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:45 | 2729640 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Hey Jean, remember those hookers we got in Spain and we named them both Angie before we ass fucked them

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:47 | 2729648 Itch
Itch's picture

"Did you hear about the Greek Goodfather? He made them an offer they couldnt understand" 

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:00 | 2729677 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

There's probably some truth to that because the oracle at Delphi would often issue ambiguous prophecies so as to keep their arses covered regardless of the outcome.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:50 | 2729653 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

SAMARAS: I would like to hug you from behind.

JUNCKER: But you are already behind in your payments !!!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:52 | 2729656 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"sorry." ... "i'm sorry, too."

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 11:36 | 2730438 indygo55
indygo55's picture

Honey, I need to tell you something,,,, I'm late!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:51 | 2729657 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

SAMARAS: When are you going to issue those JUNCK bonds you've been promising?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:53 | 2729660 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Is that nein, or are you just happy to see me?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:53 | 2729661 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Two Greek politicians walk into a bar...

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:01 | 2729680 youngman
youngman's picture

and they  both ask the bartender "what is the most expensive thing you have...cause we are not paying for it"....."the Germans are".....and the bartender shows him what he has...and he says ...."I am not paying taxes for it either".....

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:56 | 2729668 stiler
stiler's picture

The instruments also of the churl are evil: he deviseth wicked devices to destroy the poor with lying words, even when the needy speaketh right.

Isa. 32:7

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:06 | 2729692 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"You can fool some people sometime, but you couldn't fool all the people all the time." - Marley & Tosh

"Live in Dortmund!" ;)

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:56 | 2729670 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I want your package sooo bad, I can feel it.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:58 | 2729671 youngman
youngman's picture

What this shows is the politicans are just playing this game with us.....there really should be anger here..hatred..but no..lets have a pretty photo op...all fake...and that is why their EU system will fail...but as individuals...they both will steal alot of other peoples money first...

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 07:58 | 2729672 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

JUNCKER: When you asked for an extension was that on your debt or your.......?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:00 | 2729679 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

Is this suit your collateral?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:02 | 2729683 Frastric
Frastric's picture

Jean-Claude: What a city! What a hug! What a welcome! What a mess! What a waste of time! What a bunch of fucking wankers you have for ministers! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:03 | 2729686 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I think I feel a spare....damn...Drachma.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:04 | 2729688 dvfco
dvfco's picture

Samaras: “Hey, Juncker, can you call the Mayor of New York City and ask him to send one of those facial recognition and all-in-one human tracking and recognition systems they're putting in over there?”

Juncker:  “Why?”

Samaras:  “Since we're fucking everyone around us, I'd love to at least know who they actually are.”

Juncker: “Bullshit, you want to know who the terrorist is that's going to blow you up.  Remember, we waste all the terrorism money on young male hookers?  Call D.S.K., he's got a huge in over there.”

Samaras:  “Screw you Juncker, at least Strauss Kahn wasn't afraid to make a decision -- look at how he tapped that cute chambermaid - one hour before his flight home.  By the way do you look half Chinese?”

(Sorry - I don't know how long the hug lasted, but it was probably quite a while with those two chutney jockeys.)


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:08 | 2729695 Nachdenken
Nachdenken's picture

For giving Kiss.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:12 | 2729704 dvfco
dvfco's picture

If the hug was shorter, I'll go with,

"Antonis, c'mon in, bend over and put your elbows on the table.  I'm going to jab a fire-poker up your ass.  Then you can feel how Greeks gave been raping the rest of Europe.   What, you'd like that?  You sick fuck."

"That's right Juncker, why do you think I keep that little villa up the street from you in Luxemborg.  No, not just to keep the money I've stolen, I keep the boys and gerbils there as well"

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:15 | 2729707 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

Stop your gonna give me a hickey!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:35 | 2729712 Badabing
Badabing's picture

My father taught me things in this very room. He said keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:17 | 2729713 piliage
piliage's picture

In Greece, we call this foreplay.


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:22 | 2729730 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Down south in Dixieland.....we call it something else.


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:17 | 2729715 Zola
Zola's picture

"Tu quoque mi fili" 

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:19 | 2729720 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

SAMARAS: We have asked Germany for more money and she keeps saying NEIN

JUNCKER: So what do you want me to do?

SAMARAS: We are really strapped for cash, so do you think you can make them go to 10 or 12.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:26 | 2729724 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

"Your mouth tastes like a hobos taint."

Hank Moody

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:22 | 2729732 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

'A kiss, and touch of lips; not strange my Soul should cling - Strive to cross, weep to turn, and starve with me poor thing'


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:26 | 2729743 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Achilles (from the Iliad) sums up best what is going on in this photo when he said, "As much as I hate the gates of Hades, I hate the man who has one thing on his lips and another in his heart."

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:31 | 2729957 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

Yet, sadly I see no Achilles in this equivacation.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:46 | 2730009 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

This is true. That is why I did not attribute the quote to either of them. Remember.....when things get serious we have to lie according to Juncker. I guess that is what the Greeks did in order to gain entry.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 11:04 | 2730329 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

 "The worst of all deceptions is self-deception." Plato understood. Will his heirs and countrymen grasp this nettle? 

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:24 | 2729736 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

What is the definition of Greek foreplay?

Three hours of begging.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 14:05 | 2731092 trichotil
trichotil's picture

or 5 minutes of greasing up the asshole.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:25 | 2729737 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Don Juncker; let us kiss the Sicilian kiss before I junk you forever. 

Don Samaras; I return you the compliment. See you in Galapagos after the Armageddon. 

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:25 | 2729740 Frastric
Frastric's picture

Juncker: Samaras, where is my money bitch?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:28 | 2729751 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

JUNCKER: Do you know how much money we have lent you?

SAMARAS: No, but do you know how of it you are going to get back?

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:27 | 2729748 piliage
piliage's picture

Bring out the gimp...

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:29 | 2729753 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture



Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:31 | 2729754 Monedas
Monedas's picture

"Nuts !"    English for "Nichts !" (an emphatic nein)      Made famous when the 82nd airborne refused to surrender to superior German forces in the Battle of the Bulge !          Monedas       1929         Comedy Jihad History Lesson

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:30 | 2729760 Looney
Looney's picture

The new Euro-style Heimlich maneuver – FACE EACH OTHER and squeeze each other until both are covered with puke.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:30 | 2729761 Rehab Willie
Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:33 | 2729768 Let them all fail
Let them all fail's picture

Antonio, my nipples are a bit lower, then you can feed properly

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:40 | 2729790 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

"I had some oysters and am better prepared to... how does our American friend say.. ah yes "foam the runway"..."

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:41 | 2729800 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

''yes my friend it's true, the plan has worked, the mark of the beast is complete and the Christians are being slaughtered in the name of Allah in Irag Egypt Iran Afgahnistan, just all over the place'' 

''yes my friend, I hear the Pakistan muslims are doing such a good job they want to kill an 11 year old Christian girl with down syndrome, haa haa. It does not get better than this'' 

''our plan is working so well''

''yes my friend, soon the fools will be begging to slaughter more muslims as a result'' 

''any news on our new killer flu, is it ready yet?''

''yes, we are just waiting for the invocation month in December'' 

''ah yes, when our friend enters into the host'' 

''good time'' 

''soon we can sign the peace after the Israel Iran Slaughter'' 

''it's so amazing we can rob the world as we do it'' 

''ha haa haa''  

''getting humans to kill each other in the name of God and Mercy is so much fun'' 

''yes, and they are paying us to kill them' 

''ah haa haa'' 

''ah haa haaaa'' 

''Euro, blaa haaa haa'' 

''Ok, stop making me laugh'' 

''alright, just give me a hug and make it look good'' 


Thu, 08/23/2012 - 08:45 | 2729814 Juan Wild
Juan Wild's picture have a lotta junk in your trunk baaaybee.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:27 | 2729924 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Ya, halo Antoni.  Ti Kanis?  Thank you so much for bringing the Vaseline this time!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:21 | 2729925 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Get your hands out of my pockets!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:23 | 2729932 marco1324
marco1324's picture

The annual spine finding contest begins.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:29 | 2729949 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Marry me.

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:36 | 2729976 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

" Ok, Ok. I'll GIVE you the villa in Mykanos...Just get me the fuckin' money."

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:38 | 2729981 Steel_Preacher
Steel_Preacher's picture


JUNCKER:Hey! That tickles!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:46 | 2730012 theTribster
theTribster's picture

Go back to the Drachma, I'd like a villa on an island in the Med - very nice! Based on the comments here I'd say there are a lot of switch hitters on ZH - ouch!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 09:55 | 2730055 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Fucking hell mate, who the fuck would have thought it was this easy eh?

We do what we want, when we want, as we want and still the daft cunts do nothing!!!!!

Candy from a baby mate!!!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 10:44 | 2730234 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 10:47 | 2730251 Odin
Odin's picture

Ok, good, just a little to the left annnd, good, good stand right there...

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 11:20 | 2730390 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

"Lemme give your undercarriage a little "how's your father""

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 12:00 | 2730528 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

When you said NEIN I was hoping you meant NINE!

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