European Ponzi Goes Full Retard As EFSF Found To Monetize... Itself
We have long mocked and ridiculed the Fed for being the ultimate ponzi instrument: after all, why worry, when your central bank will buy up almost three trillion in US paper in about 2 years (a very comforting fact for US politicians who never have to fear that those trillions in new porkbills, pardon fiscal stimulus programs, may end up without funding). Well, as it turns out those wily veteran bankers from across the Atlantic have just one upped America yet again. According to the Telegraph, the abysmal, and barely successful, 3 EUR billion issuance of EFSF bonds (which was originally supposed to be 10 EUR billion, on its very very gradual climb to 1 EUR trillion) had one more very curious feature to it, aside from confirming that it is Dead On Arrival as expected. It turns out that in addition to being the most convoluted and complex creation ever conceived by JPM which is advising Europe on coming up with structured finance products that are so complex nobody will ask any questions and will automatically assume someone else has done the homework, it is also the quintessential ponzi instrument. The Telegraph reports that the already reduced 3 EUR billion "target was only met after the EFSF resorted to buying up several hundred million euros worth of the bonds." You read that right: in its first bond issuance since its transformation to the European Bank/Soveriegn Bailout Swiss Army Knife, the EFSF not only failed to raise a minimum token amount, but also had to... buy its own bonds. We can assume that the money the EFSF needed to fund said purchase came from the money growing tree, as at last check the ECB was still not funding the EFSF with crisp, new zEURq.PK equivalent binary 1s and 0s. But at least we all know what happens when the global ponzi goes full retard.
More on this surreal story which will be promptly buried in the barrage of Monday headlines because an international advisor to Goldman Sachs is now in charge of Italy.
Sources said the EFSF had spent more than € 100m buying up its own bonds to help it achieve its funding target after the banks leading the deal were only able to find about €2.7bn of outside demand for the debt.
The revelation will be seen as a major failure and a worrying sign of future buyers strike after EFSF officials and their bankers had spent recent weeks travelling the world attempting to persuade key investors, including China's national wealth fund and Japanese government funds, to buy its bonds.
And just in case one monetization vertical was not enough, Europe used, well, all the other ones it could:
Other European Union funds are also understood to have supported the EFSF's bond sale. The failure of the EFSF will increase pressure on the European Central Bank to effectively become the lender of last resort for the eurozone, a move it has strongly resisted.
At a private breakfast organised by PI Capital last week, Mark Hoban, the Treasury minister, said: "What it doesn't do is provide the next stage of the solution, which is how do you stop this from happening again?" he said.
The move, by the European Investment Bank, will cause more disquiet among non-eurozone EU members who have become concerned about their growing exposure to the cost of rescuing the currency bloc.
The explanation, for anyone whose brain just exploded, is that despite the marionette rotation at the top, the math of Europe is still not only absolutely hopeless, not to mention meaningless, but somehow just got even worse, because take away the magical powers of modern finance to be one with the ponzi, and Europe would have already imploded.
It also means that our earlier observation that the EFSF is an AA+ equivalent credit instrument has to be revised: pro formaing out the ponzi, means it is at best AA if not A, and most likely D if one takes away all the magic bells and Keynesian whistles, unicorns and other end of the western financial world loopholes that modern finance is forced to resort to every single day to mask the fact that every country in the developed world is now 100% bankrupt.
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I'm My Own Grandpa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw
I bet Charles Ponzi never imagined that he would become the role model of every central banker in the world.
I'll cover my monthly mortgage payment this way.
Oh, you're one of the three people still making them?
Transforming "nothing" into "something". Creation ex-nihilo. I thought only God could do that... oh... I forgot... Lord Blankfein is God's fat little cherub and can do it too. Turns out there are fat little cherubs in Europe too - just doing "God's work".
wtf, is the EU delusional enough to think there are actually cash size buyers out there willing to buy into a supranational CDO like the EFSF??!? The ONLY BUYER of paper at this point is a CB. They can't be stupid enough to think that there is more leverage out there to be had from the general economy.
Would YOU buy into a CDO composed of one nation (Germany) that has a freakin budget under control when the entire rest of the union (inc France) cheated and lied their asses off to get in?
There isn't another sovereign in the EU that won't be discovered to have done the same cashflow swaps as Italy did to cheat under the deficit tagets, besides Germany.
Uh, woot?!
Could be a bit more specific about EIB's involvement here, if it is anything other than operational.
This weekend, on one side you have the Europe's supposed saviour (the EFSF) that is found to be useless and on the other hand you have Silvio resigning (which at a stroke makes all of Italy's problems disappear lol) ... as far as the money markets are concerned, this should make for a very bullish coming week.
If enough participants see/hear enough news that can 'justify' a bullish stance, then they can perpetuate the whole circus for another day/week .... For a while (forever?), it hasn't been about what IS happening (in front of you or in the background) but how to manage the illusion!
It's understandable that doomer crackpots would have a tough time understanding this move by the EFSF, but in order to reach their level of intelligence you need to think outside the box. If you just think for a moment, this move makes PERFECT sense. What the EFSF has done is deliberately issue bonds in a quantity in which they did not expect to find sufficient bidders. They then buy the unsold bonds themselves to create the impression of a more successful auction. Market participants refuse to recognise the genius of the EFSF, and hence they need to be confused into believing in it for their own good.
Just when i thought that it's nearly impossible to push more shit into the world packed full of shit, here comes MDB with a huge truckload of fresh shit. I think now would be an appropriate time to raise the "full retard" card once again.
There is a difference between going broke and being worth less. As long as a country can print money it is not officially broke - just increasing ly worth less. Now the Eurozone on the other hand, that's a different matter....
i called my son a retard for putting carbonated soda in the freezer.....his friends mom heard me and i was arrested for child endangerment and hate crimes
The world financial system is constipated with fiat ponzi paper and bankster scams like an impacted colon is with shit. It's enema time.
So are there big leadership changes in store for Italy and Greece? Nah. News bosses same as the old ones:
Global Insights
Fri, Nov 11, 2011
WHO ARE THESE MEN?
http://www.traderview.com/Global_Insights.cfm
No question, MDB- you've reached a "new" level of intelligence....
Now run upstairs and tell your mommy that you're winning on this board....
Perfect?
Perfection is an illusion of arrogance.
Perfect?
Here's what let's do, MDB.
You write a check off of your very own checking account. Write it to yourself. Take said check and deposit it into your own checking account off of which you just wrote it. What have you accomplished? Nothing, except wasting paper, ink and time.
Now annonce to world that you have solved your financial problems by virtue of said activity. What have you accomplished?
Confirmed our suspicions that you're barin-damaged.
(Or else a paid for by fucking who knows or cares to try to sway opinion.... Well, we always need somebody to ridicule, so thanks anyway.)
And, having acted as your JP Morgan to your ESEF, you can write me a check for $1,000,000.
Perfect.
He is good. You really do have a gift.
Twilight zone. I'm going to learn how to live by eating my own shit.
it's an ever decreasing circle of lower nutrient shit
Sarkozy is full shit, Merkal is shit on toast and the British Govt wants in on all this shit just as it hits the fan
friggin clueless lot politicians
Good stuff
Biying your own bonds, how very masturbatory!
Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...
That does sound painful.
The very meaning of circle jerk.
The EFSF just did a Ron Jeremy.
Chris Jusset said: "I bet Charles Ponzi never imagined that he would become the role model of every central banker in the world."
And the inevitable result: http://kuroiso.org/
Life After An EMP Attack: No Power, No Food, No Tr...
Isn't it comforting and assuring to know that JPM is doing the same advising for the EU that Goldman did for Greece?
JPM - Proud advisors to JeffCo.
- JeffCo, AL Files Largest Muni Chapter 9 Ever: What About Meredith Whitney?
And here I was hoping for a Futurama reference.
"Like I'm going to take lessons in not messing with the timeline from Mr. I'm-My-Own_Grandpa!"
I think the whole world is going cueballs.
Just how BIG is that crack rock the EU is currently smoking?
It's the final stages of a Ponzi scheme breaking down.
The thing, we are talking about what was once considered to be the 2nd world reserve currency.
This will be HUGE.
I thought this was most awesome when I came across it too. With the newly installed technocrats in Italy, Greece, and at the ECB, I doubt they care that they are sniffing their own brand.
Agree. The financial system has become a sham and nothing is safe. And they did it purposefully. But we'll find them on their private islands. Look what is happening to "leaders" in the Middle East, North Africa, and the latest "resignations" in Greece and Italy. Pap and Berlesque are hoping they'll be spared the gallows this way.
Someone explain to me again why Madoff is in prison?
He screwed some very important people. You don't do that or else you're done.
Screwing millions of little people? Sure. Screw one ``big`` shot of a few hundreds thousands or a million? You're gone.
I agree, Corzine will walk.
One way or another yes he will. He can drag out the time until trial, and then Obama pardons him. That of course assumes he makes it to trial, instead of Secretary of the Treasury.
Yep, Corzine will walk. The NYTimes and Obama will make sure of that. Not only will he walk, he will probably become a Senator, governor, or bank president again.
If there comes a reset, corzine will be jack, queen or king of spades
The music stopped and there weren't enough chairs. Coulda happened to any Ponzimeister.
Tick, tock....
And will happen to them all.
Tick, tock....
EFSF is literally playing with themselves in front of everyone - no shame guys ?
ROFL!! So true.
These people have no shame. They're European.
EU leaders acting like Marie Antoinette in Beijing and patronizing the Chinese to give them the ''free lunch'', and threatening if you don't give us the money then your export will explode. Chinese answered: Well, F__k yeah, let it explode like your euro then. It's worth of the money. We don't care.
and they are calling China got a slap in the face by making a offer rejected by these pathetic losers? lol.... it makes my day
Only a fucking fool wouldn't own gold given all the monetization of debt that is taking place. And thank god this world is full of fools as this leaves more gold for us. Print away, motherfuckerz.
I predict that CB/PD will knock Gold down again in low volume trading in the Sunday overnight session.
I love holiday discounts
A holiday BOGO sale?
Us Zerohedge monkeys should put a big pool of money together, contact the squid and have them develop one of their special products where they short gold to the point where the price turns "negative." Thereby allowing the crimex to give us their gold for free.
Two years ago I would have accused you of being a troll. I now realize this is not beyond the realm of possibility.
Discount?
Yeah.... I think this one will be classified more as a fire sale once it all goes sideways.
I would monetize myself if I could and all other kinds of nasty things.
Bobby, how do you monetize anything with a paper trading account?
You're jealous and that's cool.
Keep going with that.
But the problems are fixed, right? Berlusconi and Papandreu have resigned. That's what the TV said.
If you monetize yourself, you'll go blind and get hairy palms.
And burn in hell!! (fir realzies)
Pass the Nair. Hey, anybody seen my glasses?
You guys still don't get it.
There is no history. There is no analysis. There is no math. The status quo will continue and ANYTHING that has to be done to make that so will be done. These people are in "let's just hang on until it all gets fixed" mode.
Worse, they're in "let's just hang on so the people don't die," mode. The system is the only thing that feeds this many people and if it fails, people will literally die. In other words, they've conveniently persuaded themselves that they are noble and selfless and public servants of dedication never before seen.
Stop looking for rational results. If something is in the way, it will be eliminated. The world will be defined by decree; not by math.
Only one thing will EVER stop this. Oil. Watch oil. Nothing else truly matters. What rate comes out of the ground is the only thing they can't define . . . and they do know it. That's why Gadaffi was murdered. The end from oil is close; they are desperate for a miracle.
+ 1
<reminds me of Mako> Much missed here at ZH by me.
Can't print gold, neither.
Now THAT is the perfect answer to "You can't eat gold!"
Oil, viable fusion or skittles-farting unicorns. All good options.
There are some VERY promising recent developments in solar. Getting them into large-scale production and use before the oil runs out to do so could be the ultimate race for mankind. We are somewhere past 11pm on the clock, and possibly closer to 11:57.
I'm an old hand on solar myself - been off the grid since '82, and on old solar tech (obviously). The old poly silicon 14% efficient panels are fine, and robust, where the new tech tends to fail quick - some of it you just can't make both cheap and reliable - the frames alone are as costly as the rest. My panels are Solarex, owned by Amoco at the time, now BP, who with their fantastic timing shut down the factory in MD just as they started spewing oil in the gulf - not making enough profit on them, and when you touch them it's obvious why - quality out the pitoot. After adding panels as I could over the years, I now have WAY too much on many days, so today I took delivery of a Chevy Volt - it's bitchin too....
Won't solve trucking or farm tractors that need real power all day every day, but for me, when gas goes too high, or goes away, I'll be laughing. I have enough spare to add some fun driving for the heck of it to what I need off my home/campus system now, and will keep "stacking" solar panels just like I do gold. At least they do pay a dividend in something I need - power and independence from jerks who rent-seek for electricity.
Peruse this so you can be properly jealous. http://www.coultersmithing.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=48
You work for Obama and it is OBVIOUS.
If solar was efficient there would BE A MARKET FOR IT.
There is no private market for solar because solar is inneficient and the market knows that.
Take your Volt and shove it up your ass.
It is obvious you've never taken the time to read any of DCFusor's posts or review real work he does and links to occasionally. I am therefore forced to conclude that you're an idiot.
Can y'all just stop taking public money and go about running your business without government handouts?
That’s all we’re asking.
There is a market for everything.
The size of the sales in each market are dictated by whether a buyer perceives value in the goods offered at the prices offered by the sellers. In general, those prices must be set at a level where costs are recovered, plus some profit.
When oil and natural gas become truly scarce, prices for carbon will eventually rise to the point where solar will become a profitable business, and then maybe a solar power industry can arise independent of massive government subsidies handed out to political contributors.
Absent huge technological improvements in solar panels and batteries, my guess is the USA will first retrofit all internal combustion engines to run on natural gas and bite the bullet as far as the cost of setting up natural gas pumps everywhere. Only when NG prices rise to the point where solar becomes cheaper will solar replaces carbon.
Let me take this moment to thank all greenies who have lost or will lose their money investing in the solar energy industry presently. The inventions found via your bankruptcies will greatly benefit the rest of us someday.
He's either lying or lives in the 15 square miles or so on the Earth's surface that does not need either cooling or heating.
It is electric heat that makes solar power unviable. You will NEVER take a New England home 100% off the grid with with a 100% electric house on solar.
It is air conditioning that makes solar power unviable. You will NEVER take a Tucson house 100% off the grid with a 100% electric house on solar.
You can do it up in mountains in Arizona that have moderate temperatures year round. You can't do it the VAST MAJORITY of places.
You will NEVER go to the moon.
I love NEVER.
Read carefully about his stacking solar panels... Maybe DCFusor has a LOT of them. Did he write that he gets his electricity just from panels on his roof?
Eh? Grow tree. Burn tree. Not exactly new technology.
Hence the end of copious air conditioning.
Exactly. Turn off the freaking AC. ditch the potato chip bag and disconnect the propaganda box. You will be amazed and will not feel the least bit uncomfortable because you are unnaturally climatized. I have a 5 ton and only run it about a month and a half both winter and summer. You guys up north please disregard. that freaking cold will hurt your feelings.
Retrofitting an existing house is not cost effective, however there are passive houses in northern Europe that are entirely off grid.
Passive houses can be heated with a hair dryer and cooled with a single 5000 btu window unit.
Passive solar, earth bermed, straw bale, cob - there are many ways to rethink the "ticky-tacky boxes in a row" that folks are herded into, inefficient and connected to heavy heating/cooling utility bills. . .
earthships!
http://earthship.com/
The answer is to use a Geothermal heat pump powered by the solar panels.
Solar is viable in many parts of the world. Most of India gets 340+ days of sunshine every year. What is really needed is a smart grid. In India you could even use a solar cooker to cook 2 meals a day almost daily.
Solar won't support airconditioning and such luxuries though.
You see solar promoted in places like UK and Japan which get so little sunshine.
Here in northern Japan, solar is an absolute joke.
I see yuppies putting 900w of Sanyo panels (as expensive as they come) on the rooftops of houses that are under snow for four months of the year.
West facing panels, to boot.
Fucking braintrust.
The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Well at least here. It seems that would be the natural orientation.
And presumably passes from East to West, South of where you are.
The panels I'm referring to should be oriented facing South.
surely the "yuppies" are the "joke" - not the panels they install incorrectly? why diss solar??
More energy just lets the Ponzi continue. It lets banksters get rich and lets niggers breed.
Fuck that! Bring on the collapse.
Response to dolph9
Get a rope and we'll hang em. Hey you look a little different; you first.
Let's see: if/when DOW is 14,000, WTI will be about $114 and Brent may be $130. The end will be that much closer.
Housing is really messing them up to. 50% of mortgages are underwater and the Fed is on the hook for almost all of it. I think you have to include watch housing to your watch oil list.
And you have to include watch Italy. If Italy goes down the banks banks go down because the banks can't write off all of that debt. I agree, TPTB will do whatever's necessary and will end up bailing out Italy. But, these decisions haven't been made yet so who knows, someone could stop the Italy bailout...the chance is too big to just outright ignore.
i think You don't get it.
question: who exactly are we talking about ?? Them!
who is them and what is their favorite sport? >> War!
how do they make their favorite game of Slaughter happen on a global scale?
let's see: 1340 (Florentine Credit snafu)> 1390 no trade > Black Death! (watta partie!)
1922-3 > Weimar > Adolf > Ohhh baby!
lol!
tea leaves! read them? Them! lol!
The US will ration oil to the serfs while using the House of Saud's oil to run the military? People don't even want anymore war. Unless there is a false flag of epic proportions, war ain't going to happen, and if they try another false flag, they may just finally get caught now that everyone knows about them, flase flags.
I think they are pretty much screwed, not that they won't try something.
Long term, big scale war is hard to run at $110 Brent. Iraq wound down as oil price went up.
You probably could not fight a World War II level oil consumption war any longer.